Brand your life

Brand your life

With Deepawali around the corner, it is but natural that shopping is high on the priority list of those celebrating Deepawali, especially Indian’s the world over. Add to the fervor the numerous advertisements by online and offline advertisers all displaying a humongous range of visually  pleasing merchandise.  The buyer is bedazzled with the choices but stumped when it comes to decision making. Eventually, the chances of branded goods being purchased are much higher than non branded goods. The reasons are simple; there is reasonable guarantee of quality, reasonable price, committed delivery and a reasonable return/ exchange policy if not satisfied. It is the brand that simply triggers these convictions. Is it not time for you to build your personal brand so that when you interact with others, they have a similar trust, faith, expectation and confidence in you?

For ordinary individuals, personal branding is all about cultivating a holistic, honest and heartwarming identity. It is different from an image created by film hero’s / heroines or rock stars / sports person and celebrities who have a purely marketing angle to their individual branding. For ordinary folks like you and me, personal branding is conveying ourselves honestly to a world that will recognize our worth and respect us for our candor and acceptable demeanor.

The tools for personal branding are simple, easy and inexpensive.

For lips – Truth – Practice the art of being truthful however much the urge to tell a lie because of fear, jealousy, envy or other compulsions like protecting someone. Obviously it won’t be easy but if you set your own standards, you will never have to think twice about your course of action. More importantly, the world will know what you stand for and what to expect. Your brand is build immediately.

For Voices – Prayer – Unlike a ritual, which is often the norm for organized religion, a simple prayer is acknowledgement of thanks for the blessings in life, a earnest plea for the grace of acceptance of the challenges, a request for fortitude to cope with the challenges and most of all it is seeking blessings for those around us for their continued well being. Action is the bed rock of prayer; it requires one to do something for self, for others and for the world at large be it participating in alleviating the pain and /or poverty or spreading good cheer or doing good deeds. Work is worship and prayer in action. Your prayers in action help build your brand

For eyes – Sympathy – Concern for others helps one sympathize and empathize with the challenges people around us are coping with. Hopefully this realization will spur us on to engage in translating our concern and sympathy into tangible action. Your actions will be noticed and your brand will be recognized.

For hands – Charity – Doling out money is the easiest thing a person with means can do. Real charity is in sparing time and spending it doing something worthwhile for others who require our charity. Simple things like spending time with the aged, the sick, the lonely by visiting hospitals / orphanages/ prisons is all that is required. However, it is a commitment and that commitment is the brand that you will be recognized for.

For heart – Love Falling in love with those who we like is easy; the tough part is to love those who are difficult to deal with, those who do not value us, those who we despise. It could be pesky neighbors, difficult colleagues, hard to please bosses, your nemesis. At times it is worse because it could be a troublesome family member or an irritating friend. Love is all encompassing; it should overlook faults, be unconditional and above all be genuine. Your brand will reflect in the ever widening circle of friends and well wishers around you.

For face – Smile – The simplest of all form of personal brand building. A smile costs nothing. It is the curve that helps straighten out things. Your smile is the outward reflection of your inner beauty. It is the brand that you wear on your face. View it differently and your SMILE translates into See My Instant Life Energizer.  http://poweract.blogspot.com/2010/01/smile.html

Try these:       

  • Out of the above which are the two strongest aspects that define your personal brand? Which are the two weakest aspects on which you will work hard to ensure your personal brand is top class.
  • Identify a person whose brand image you closely identify with i.e. you share similar traits or values.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

 

It is ok to be not ok

It is ok to be not ok

At times events that happen to us or around make us feel overwhelmed. At these times each of us is caught in a bind, wondering if it is ok to give in to your natural feelings like anger, hurt, frustration etc. that the event has triggered or to try your best to be stoic, dispassionate and pretend to be brave. Often we prefer to embrace the latter, more to prove our own ability to cope rather than let our defenses down and spill out our deepest emotions. There is also the added pressures from the do- gooders around, who whisper gently that one needs to control his/ her emotions and not succumb to fear, frustration, anger, hurt and loneliness. Unfortunately, one cannot be completely divorced of personal emotions and reality demands that expelling pent up emotions is a good way to get rid of unwanted toxic feelings from within.

Hence there is nothing wrong in getting angry, upset, confused or feeling stuck up, lonely, hurt or to give in to a good crying spell. In short, it is perfectly ok not to be ok.

However, there is a risk that by regularly giving in to our negative emotions, we may become susceptible to adopting a ‘poor me’ syndrome. One needs to be watchful against undervaluing one’s self, looking at life from a all that goes wrong and not being able to enjoy the countless bounty one is blessed with. This is the point at which some of us begin to wage war with ourselves by finding fault in happenings that are not to our liking or events that come as a set back or by craving for what we do not have or aspire too. The thinking is skewed; the feeling of not having enough, the tendency to blame self, family, circumstances and fate are all symptomatic of a person at war with himself/ herself.

The antidote to this is threefold:

Do not bottle up your feelings – give release to your emotions. It is perfectly alright to feel down, hurt, depressed, sad, unhappy, anxious, worried and weepy. There are moments when we need to align our behavior with the feelings that are overtaking us. By giving vent to those feelings we are exhaling those toxic emotions and cleansing ourselves from within. The toxicity exhaled will be replaced by positive feelings of hope, acceptance, courage, determination and self belief. It is a cleansing of the mind and body that helps rejuvenate the spirit.

Do not overreact to circumstances – At the other end of the spectrum is a tendency to overreact to unforeseen, unfortunate and unforgiving circumstances that occasionally transgress into our peaceful existence. Since change is a constant in everyone’s life it is obvious that sooner or later each of us will have to deal with pain, fear, illness, failure and death. The problem is when we overreact and see our problems as disastrous, calamitous and unending. Bringing a sense of proportion and balance is the only way to deal with circumstances that we do not want to face but have overtaken us. So while giving in to our feelings and reacting to it without bottling it up is perfectly in order, over reacting and getting emotionally irrational would be a self inflicted disaster.

Find value in your current circumstances – No matter what the circumstance you face, look around and see that there are a people courageously coping with even more calamitous problems. In comparison it would occur to us that we are much more blessed in that our problems are relatively easy to cope with. The best way to cope with any form of emotional pain is to look it is from a point of view of what do we still have despite all that is happened. Seek out value that makes tomorrow worth looking forward to. E.g. a student who has failed can still count on his parents, friends and teachers supporting him despite them possibly criticizing him / her initially. Failure then is not the end of the world but a temporary blip in life.  An even more extreme example is the purported reaction of Thomas Alva Edison, whose life’s work was charred to ashes when his house went up in flames. His reaction was, as he said the ‘opportunity to observe the biggest fire he had ever seen in his life’. Subsequently when asked about the loss of all his years of research, he is purported to have quipped ‘ now I can start again with a clean slate’.

Try these:           

  • What were the two most challenging / trying/ painful experiences you encountered? How did you cope with it?
  • Share with us links or documents of 2 inspirational articles or stories or videos of people who have coped with their most challenging problems. You can email them to us at actspot@gmail.com

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Buds will bloom

Buds will bloom

One reason that we limit ourselves from discovering much more about ourselves is the fact that we are happy staying within our comfort zone. We are forever having questions with a negative tinge overwhelming us; what if something goes wrong?; is it safe? How do I cope up? What if I fail? Am I capable? Should I take the risk? The reality is that unless we test the waters, we will never experience the joy of the flowing stream nor will we see the world from above, unless we climb the mountain. Experience is a tough teacher but equally true is the fact that the lessons learnt will remain long with us and often open up immense insights about ourselves that we were blissfully unaware of.

Each of us is a bud that has been carefully nurtured by our family, friends and environment around. Some of course have it tough, others less so and a few have been brought up in the lap of luxury. However, the real essence of the bud is in its blossoming as a beautiful flower. Similarly, each of us is destined to move on and flower in various terrains and bloom as different flowers. The one special blessing we are given, unlike any other vegetation or animal species is that we are free to think, be creative, explore unbridled and traverse far and wide. It is this freedom that enables buds from the same vine to blossom into very different flowers. Yet, this is possible only if we cut ourselves off from the vine and get ready to transplant ourselves; thus risking the safety of our environment and daring to discover our mettle in unchartered places.

All you need to bloom into an extraordinary flower is by having the EDGE.

Explore – Keep thinking; keep updating yourself; check out new opportunities; take some risks. In this process you will have self doubts; you will come across nay sayers; you may encounter skeptics and at times you will be pressurized to give up your ventures. Yet, if you have the self belief then you must be march on as a one man army.

Discover – It is obvious that when you move out and explore you will discover new things. What is more important is to keep up a spirit of wonder so that you discover even more than what is apparent. Your real empowerment comes from embracing the small wonders that you discover with passion and enthusiasm.

Grow – There is no better teacher than bad experiences. The trick is to learn from those experiences and grow into a better person. Be open to criticism, negative feedback, failures and frustrations. These are the bedrocks on which you will build your dreams. Are there people you envy? Examine their growth carefully and you will realize that they grew up very painfully, overcoming their anxieties, their doubts and most of all by remaining deaf to those who kept putting them down. At the same time they observed, listened to suggestions and kept at their goal relentlessly.

Evolve – One never evolves fully for life is a constant change. So while peak performance might seem like the pinnacle of having evolved, adapting to life after peaking is the real growth. Never rest on your laurels. Notice how the plucked flower still becomes an offering. It plays a vital role even when on the throes of being discarded. Seek out opportunities to contribute or to embrace something new.  Adapt to the change around. Find new opportunities to transform into. Make your life a metamorphosis.

If you have the EDGE and you can blossom into the person you want to be.

Try these:           

  1. Which is your favorite flower? Write down 3 qualities of the flower that you can identify with in your own personal life.
  2. List out 10 things till pending in your bucket list. If you have no bucket list prepare one now. How many of the items in the list will you complete before the year end?
  3. Identify 3 drastic changes that you will incorporate in your lifestyle to bring about a desired change in yourself.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Each of us has a lot to be grateful for. The mere fact that I am writing this and you are reading this means we are alive, we are blessed with the gift of sight, understanding and literacy and fortunately we also have the time and energy to pore over the contents of the blog. Do we really value these blessings or do we take them for granted. Do we focus only on the special things that we get out of the blue like winning a lottery or getting an unexpected bonus or promotion or topping an exam? Fact is that we have much to be grateful for. The little things we take for granted, the wonderful surprises that come our way and for the limited pain and hurt we occasionally endure. The bigger benefit of being grateful for however lies in the fact that practicing gratitude daily fills us with an overpowering sense of bliss, which comes because of the following:

Shift in perspective – For many of us, our natural tendency is to look at the negatives around us. This is partly to do with a primal instinct of self preservation from all dangers. However, over time this tendency to look at negatives has been so deeply ingrained in us, that we fail to notice the wonders around us. Apart from being  the most intelligent of the species in nature, human beings are gifted with abundantly more blessings that will allow one the luxury of drawing in happiness. However, this is possible only when one shifts focus from negatives to positives. By taking in a dose of gratitude each morning, the blessings in life suddenly become more visible, more tangible and more available for each of us to enjoy. It is a drastic shift in perspective triggered by practicing gratitude each day.

Feeling of abundance – One weakness of the human race is the tendency to compare with other human beings; be it our wealth, out looks, our intelligence or what we perceive as social status. No sooner one starts comparing with others, there is an overwhelming feeling of deprivation, of lack of something, of a longing for what others have and the desire and craving for more. What we forget in the process is that we are taking for granted an abundance of blessings we are gifted with. Our abundance is in every sphere; good health for most of us, a loving family life, great friends, adequate or more food, clothing and shelter etc. It is only when one practices gratitude that we begin to consciously pay attention to the abundance each of us has.

Decrease of fear and anxiety – The greatest benefit of practicing gratitude is that with the shift in perspective and the feeling of abundance, there is an immediate decrease of fear and anxiety. We know that our blessings far outweigh our concerns, that life has much more to offer than pure material wealth and that tomorrow is another day that one needs to take in her/ his stride. Each morning becomes a wondrous expectation for the day that unfolds will bring with it plenty of surprises; most of which are pleasant but then a few challenges/ pain will also be part of the day. By viewing things in the correct perspective and knowing that we are amply blessed, practicing gratitude is an extraordinary way of living life in bliss.

Try these:           

  • List out the three greatest blessings that you cherish.
  • What was your greatest emotionally painful moment? How did you cope with it? What was good about that painful moment?
  • Who are the three most important people in your life? The challenge is to restrict yourself to just 3 people. Have you told them how grateful you are for what they mean to you?
  • As I was writing this blog, I received a Wattsapp forward which I thought was apt for sharing with the readers of this post. I am attaching it, as it is, in a Word Document file. There is an Arabic Translation or possibly it is the original source and I have retained it for those who would better connect with it. Click on this link to read it. 18-30 -08 Oct 18- Gratitude_Message_30_08 Oct 18

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Core life skills

Core life skills

In a world that is constantly changing and evolving, the challenges of coping with the changes and the evolving dynamics, are both stressful and laced with apprehension. Yet what does not change and what helps one remain balanced during testing times, are the core beliefs that we should embrace with faith. It is not just the technology that challenges us but more worrisome is the human dynamics that have been cast asunder; the traditional family values, societal norms and the fragility of the bonds between cultures, regions, religions, beliefs and values.  Yet to retain our sanity and remain equanimous  in the face of changes that tend to overwhelm us, all we need to do is focus and implement the core life skills which are:

Calm, but alert – If you see a duck paddling in the water, you would never notice how frantically it is paddling below the water because above the water it looks exceedingly calm and serene. Similarly, in the wild, observe the docile creatures like deer’s and gazelle’s. They remain calm but constantly look around to be alert to any danger lurking in the thickets. They do not visualize trouble in their mind and get anxious but they do anticipate trouble, as they are aware of predators around. We humans tend to absorb negativity and project it in our outlook instead of taking calculated risks with an inbuilt trigger to help us remain safe.

Relaxed, but ready – Observe the great athletes of the world. They know that they are competing against the best and that the results are quite open ended giving everyone a fair chance to win. Yet when they warm up before the event, they are fairly relaxed, prepped up but calm, anxious perhaps but equally excited because they know that it is crunch time. Their training and self belief have got them thus far, it is just their performance that matters. Winning and losing are par for the course and that is why they prepare well and compete hard. They are always ready for the competition. No tensions, no anxieties, no worries.

Smooth, but sharp –A pin, a needle, a nail have a sharp point but the rest of it is sleek and smooth. A football or basketball too is smooth but only when it has the air that sharpens its contours. A cricket and golf ball gets its sharpness when the exterior is hard but it is the smoothness that allows it to roll well. In life you can be smooth by being empathetic, polite, respectful, committed, loyal and honest. At the same time you need to be sharp by being assertive, determined, confident, courageous and focused.

Humble, but confident– Success must breed humility not arrogance. Failure must be seen as a stepping stone to success. When you get success, there is no virtue more important that being humble to keep your grounded. When failure unexpectedly makes its rounds in your life, believe that they temporary hiccups and be confident that you are well prepared to overcome the setbacks. As they say, a Lion never roars after a kill; it never has to announce his accomplishments. At the same time be aware that a Lion is successful only 17-20% of the time it attempts a kill. Yet it is supremely confident that it can succeed the next time around. Your humility must never be seen as your weakness nor must your confidence morph into arrogance.

Try these:           

  • What are your three favorite quotes / proverbs / inspirational sayings / poem’s? Do they reflect any of the above core principles of life?
  • Which of the above 4 principles best represent your nature? Which principle do you think you will find most difficult to implement and why?
  • Can you identify one teacher, one friend, one colleague and one relative who best display most of the above principles in their life?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The scars tell a story

The scars tell a story

As one goes through life, an individual encounters various experiences; some pleasant, a few unpleasant and some experiences are so traumatic that they remain lifelong, like a scar left behind by a deep wound. Yet the fact that you have faced your challenges with courage and continue to progress in life, is a huge victory, and the scar left behind emotionally or physically,  becomes a symbol, a reminder and a story of the battles you have participated in.

Unfortunately life is unforgiving and so new battles emerge and the challenge is to cope with it. If you get scars let it not scar your life but let it just be scar on the flesh and not the spirit. This is tougher than it seems because it is the mind that needs to be tamed, the spirit that needs to be ignited and the future that one should beckon with open arms, if the wounds from the battle have to be healed and the scars become a distinguishing mark of your spirit.

Your scars will tell a proud story when you:

Believe in yourself – Until you believe that you have the moral courage and personal commitment to fight for your rights, you will rarely engage. Once you believe in yourself, then your focus will be on ensuring you are not denied what is your legitimate due. That is the time you take on the mighty with all your might and in the process you will get hurt, some injuries can be painful, occasionally you will be dispirited but when the dust settles after the fight, even if you have not won, you would have at least scored a moral victory and the resultant scars would become a badge of honor and inspiration.

Fight for your right – The intensity of your fight will directly proportionate to the intensity of your belief in the cause. Once you decide that you have a legitimate cause, no cross would be too heavy for you to bear. Discrimination, injustice, not getting your dues are causes that often trigger an individual to take cudgels for one’s self respect, rights and dignity. In the process, there would be some blood spilt, damage done and suffering to be endured. However, your conscience would be at ease once you have chosen to stand up for your rights. The resultant scars would again become proud badge of honor for you.

Stand up against injustice – You may perhaps not be affected but when you see those around you being denied justice, your conscience will often trigger action. Cowards may rationalize that it is not my fight but then if you don’t fight for your fellow men when they need support, then where and when will you get people to stand up for you when you are wronged? Injustice to anyone in any form must never be tolerated in civil society. However, standing by a cause that you believe in could mean taking on a fight against those more powerful, more self centered and more brutal. There could be serious consequences but the scars you get thereafter will be one’s you cherish.

Try these:           

  • List out the three major injustices that you believe are rampant around you. How can you work on mitigating these injustices?
  • Of all the rights you enjoy which is the one right you value the most. Do you think some sections of society are denied this right? Would you be able to lend your support to those denied this right?
  • What are the three rights as a citizen that you feel you are being denied? Can you write a strong letter to the concerned civic chief to get the matters addressed?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

First things first

First things first

In life there are times when we know what must be done to rectify a situation but either our ego or the fear of retribution or the anxiety of embarrassment hold us back. Yet, on hindsight, we do realize that the benefits of being first to rectify the situation far outweigh the short term concerns that prevent us from doing what is right. Three of the most classic cases of us suffering more for our procrastination in not taking the right step are as under:

Apologizing – The first to apologize is the bravest –  Our fear of retribution or occasionally our ego  will often over ride our sense of justice and we would often delay offering an apology for a mistake we have made or an injustice (albeit mistakenly ) committed. Yet the moment you decide that an apology is warranted and that too quickly, if you can gather the courage to apologize by  stifling the fear and/ or ego, you will realize that it is the bravest decision that you would have taken. Often it is also a very emotionally fulfilling decision because you would otherwise have to carry the guilt around. Mistakes happen to the best of us; however it is the bravest who can quickly apologize and seek forgiveness for the mistake.

Forgiving – The first to forgive is the strongest. – Our petty mindedness would trigger our ego and forgiving a mistake and accepting an apology would become a very difficult proposition. Unnecessarily we believe that by forgiving we are lowering our prestige or letting another go scot-free. The truth is that it takes a lot of courage to pardon someone who has knowingly or unknowingly hurt or troubled us. If we take an eye for an eye approach we would be carrying a burden of acting differently from what we really are. Instead by forgiving one who seeks forgiveness we would have displayed our moral courage and large heart. Forgiveness is a display of good character, sound values and the courage to do the right thing.

Forgetting – The first to forget is the happiest – If one nurtures a grudge, holds a past hurt to fuel fire to take revenge or allow ourselves to be consumed by rage and anger, it takes a toll on our mental peace, physical health and destroys our personal tranquility. For the hurt you feel, the disappointments you face because of others, the bad times that have overwhelmed you and the nagging need to get even with others, only results in you carrying an unseen burden within. Let go of that burden by forgetting the torments, the tormentors and the past and your heart, mind and body would feel lighter, less burdensome and certainly more relaxed. You will be a man with no worries; the person who is happiest.

Try these:           

  • Think of the time when you apologized for a mistake and you were not forgiven. What could be the reason for the other person not willing to forgive you?
  • What is the hurt/ anger/ guilt that you are still carrying around? Why is it that you are not able to forget the incident or forgive the person who hurt you?
  • If at all you have any painful memories of the past, how have you coped with it? Have you tried forgiving and / or forgetting it or the perpetrators if any ?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Is it today?

Is it today?

All good intent comes to naught, when one does not put the intent into practice or begin acting on the plans. We have lofty goals in mind, sit back and plan, decide on a day, date and time to act but when crunch time comes, we have numerous excuses for delaying beginning it. In fact the real problem begins at the goal setting stage. We rarely commit ourselves to outlining the goals in writing. On the rare times we do write down some goals, they are more or less one line statements which are more in the nature of expressing a dream / desire than a commitment. Often the statements are peppered with adjectives that make the goal sound lofty whilst the core remains hollow. One technique to ensure one writes down actionable goals is the SMART goal technique. If you are not aware of this technique or are only have a hazy idea of it,  you can google it and read up on the same. (This would be the first test of how committed you are to writing down actionable goals.)

The next step is critical because we do not spend adequate time planning out and chalking out the blueprint of how to go about achieving each goal. This is not a short ten minute exercise. It is actually a test of your passion for the goal you have set. You would need to mull over your goal, the challenges you will face, reflect on your personal limitations that you would need to set right, identify milestones that will indicate that you are on the right track and that you are keeping up to the schedule planned. In planning out your blueprint, you will also make sure you will not compromise on your ethics and values in pursuit of the goal.

Finally it is crunch time, when you have to walk the talk. You will need to begin as planned; no excuse will be good enough for any deferment. If you defer, you will have to go back to the drawing board and rethink your plans for you have not made provisions for contingencies. Your entire SMART goal hinges on the last alphabet T which stands for TIME. Your goal is time bound and this can be achieved only if you begin on time and progress as per your time schedule. Beginning on time is just a blip in the scheme of things; it is sticking to the time schedule till you attain your goal that is the real elephant that you have to eat slice by slice to ensure you have eaten it all. Each day therefore becomes day one of the next step of your plan.

To get your plans off the ground ask yourself ‘When am I going to begin? If the answer is ‘I will start one day ‘ be sure that day will not be in the foreseeable future. On the other hand if you say ‘Day one is here, let me begin now’ you would have created the momentum that you can maintain with the right motivation, an eye on the goal and feet on the ground running. It is your choice to ask and answer the question ‘Is it today that I begin to realize my dreams?

Try these:           

  • When are you going to write the letter to the editor of a newspaper, putting forth your views on a social problem that you are most upset about?
  • What and when will be your next attempt at doing something that you have never attempted before?
  • When will you start making new friends at work/ the neighborhood / when travelling?
  • When will you write a letter to or visit a favorite teacher to convey your appreciation?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Never complain Never explain

Never complain Never explain

Whining and moaning are typical ways in which we try to deflect attention away from ourselves for our failures. When that fails we try to justify, rationalize and/ or offer lame excuses camouflaged as logical reasons for our failures. The unfortunate part is that, whether we complain or we explain, the reality is that we goofed up and that our credibility is at stake. It would take a lot of time, effort and perseverance for us to regain trust of others, get their buy in and hopefully rebuild relationships.

A complain is a poor lament. Complains are akin to laments that seek to put blame on others. It could be people, situations, events all of which imply that the problem is elsewhere and not with the person making the complain. A failure, is a natural phenomena when there are many variables and unpredictable circumstances. However, having the grace to accept failure is praise worthy when it is shorn of any form of complain. Complains are means to deflect attention elsewhere and a decoy to avoid taking responsibility. Complains will never change the reality; it may however show the person making the complain in poor light, possibly seen as having poor grace and definitely looked at as a whiner who shirks responsibility.

Explaining is perilously close to fibbing. A heightened and convoluted method of complaining is explaining. The objective here is to pretend to offer an unbiased and rational logic. The trouble is that it often tells only one side of the story from the tellers point of view. Facts related to other participants in the story may be conveniently ignored, distorted or grossly exaggerated to suit the explanation. Here again the technique is used when the intent is to escape responsibility or to put things in a light more amiable to the person telling it.

Both, a complain and an explanation would have a fair bit of truth but it is the futility of it, when the damage has been done, that makes it most unsuitable. Again a complain or an attempt to explain would also be tinged with or laced with a concoction of convenient facts, possible half truths and occasionally distorted truths. The listener would always receive it with skepticism; analyze it for distortions and make judgments that could be more prejudicial than the real facts.

Try these:           

  1. You have been nominated to organize a picnic. You went about the task meticulously. However, there was a poor turnout for the picnic with quite a few last minute cancellations. The bus in which you had to travel came late, the air-conditioning was not working and it broke down once on the way. The venue of the picnic saw unprecedented crowds and the overall picnic was disappointing.
  • How would you share the picnic experience with a close friend from a different organization?
  • How would you brief your boss who was a last minute drop out?
  • HR writes to you stating that there was strong negative feedback from the participants about the organization of the picnic and seek your feedback on the same.

2. Assume you borrowed a valuable item from a friend.  What will you do when the time comes to return the same and the circumstances are as under:

  • You have lost/ misplaced it
  • You discover that the item has been seriously damaged.
  • You have a strong urge to keep it and not return it because you know it is much more useful to you whereas it will be junked in the friends place.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Death is not the biggest fear…

Death is not the biggest fear…

Death is a scary thought because it is a definitive end. We visualize that end and we are repulsed because we have so many unfulfilled dreams, so many wishes that we are sure will be realized if only we live. What we do not understand is the reality that, the real fear should be the realization that, what is yet to be achieved is not an accident but the result of us not risking enough to fulfill it. Even this understanding is comparatively superficial to the real fear that we are blissfully unaware of; being alive and expressing ourselves freely. We largely live a fearful life; fearful of expressing a minority view point; fearful of taking the side of your convictions; being afraid to stand up for the segregated, the marginalized, the deprived, the defenseless. In reality we are fearful but we fail to acknowledge it. Ask yourself this simple question ‘ Do I express myself freely, frankly, fearlessly on every issue that bothers me?’ You will realize that, subconsciously at times and deliberately most times, we hold back lest we are trolled, shadowed, shamed, stalked, assaulted, vilified, jailed or tortured by those who disagree with us.

Living is a risk; it carries the risk of us failing our potential; of us not standing up to be counted when the time comes; of cheating our conscious when it suits us; of us looking the other way when we should have stood by those in trouble; of telling blatant lies, white lies or being economical with the truth because the truth could hurt us; of being hypocrites, being insensitive, being inhuman and of being chameleons that change color to suit our survival. We do not risk living our real selves but live our lives to suit the world around. Can we honestly look in the mirror and look ourselves in the eye?

The fear of living, in day to day life, extends to us being fearful of skeletons tumbling out of our hidden closets; of pretending to be happy in relationships that have long ceased to exist; of doing jobs that we hate but cannot do without; of the demons of worry that beset us often; of losing loved ones; not fulfilling cherished dreams; of being made fun of or ridiculed; of having to pretend to be as rich, happy and successful as those around.

Yet, we have largely coped with these risks and that is what makes us reasonably successful. We have at times conquered our fears, occasionally learned to cope with it and sometimes succumbed to it. In our journey through life what makes us remain cheerful, optimistic and enthusiastic each day is not the absence of the fear of living but the presence of our sense of individuality, of knowing that we are an integral part of humanity and that each day has surprises that make our life love filled, fun filled and fulfilling.

Try these:           

  • Think of three occasions when you did not do, what on hindsight, you should have had the courage to do. How did you rationalize your failure to yourself? Would you have done things differently today of the same circumstances prevailed?
  • What were the three most courageous things you did, despite being aware of the consequences? Do you regret having lived by your convictions?
  • How do you deal with a person who is loud and self opinionated and gets very vocal with his/ her views when he/she sees you, because he/she knows you hold a completely dramatically opposite view point.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com