You reflect what you feel

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. William Hazlitt

Most of us are prey to mood swings and often use that as an excuse for our poor manners and behavior at times. The reality is that we behave in a manner that we actually feel inside us. Even attempts to camouflage our inner most feelings work for sometime but sooner or later the people around will sense our true feelings and they may even attempt to covertly or overtly confirm their views by probing us. It is essential therefore for each of us to be aware of our feelings, conscious of our behavior and cautious in our interactions when not in the best mood or frame of mind.

When we are ecstatic about some event or news, we are just seeking people to share that moment of terrific excitement. We are overjoyed and enthusiastic, our communication is rapid and energetic, our focus is on sharing our joy with all and sundry whom we come in contact with. Getting excellent marks in exams, winning a prize or competition, getting engaged, becoming a parent or grandparent etc are momentous events in the life of any human being and these occasions provide the perfect setting for celebrations. On the other hand poor grades, a break up, ill health and death are moments of acute pain and sadness and most times we withdraw and prefer the solitude around. We maybe sullen, sad depressed, angry or frustrated and our communication can be aggressive, resigned or we simply remain silent or prefer to be incommunicado.

There are some of us who have our own quixotic reasons for remaining in a foul mood or remain depressed or behave indifferently. Some of us are in these moods because we crave attention by behaving odd while others believe that there is nothing right going on in their lives. A few might simply believe that they done in by fate and others are simply envious or jealous of others around whom they perceive to be more blessed than themselves. What is uniformly revealing is that all these people exhibit behavior that mirrors their own feelings of despondency and frustration. E.g People who have a short fuse and who fly of the handle at the slightest pretext.  Onlookers can often sense these unacceptable behaviorally patterns and often give such people a wide berth. Someone who has a more humane touch would attempt to accept the behavior and counsel the errant party but might face rejection of his / her efforts.

Can we reign in our moods. Not easy but yes it is controllable. Being aware is the first step. The next is being consciously aware of the effects of our behavior on others and making a determined effort to change our perceptions from within so as to reflect the change in our outward mannerisms. Smiling and thinking positive are immediate cures for a poor attitude.  What is most critical is believing that you have a responsibility to every person whom you come in contact with irrespective of the persons financial or social status.

Remember: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is an excellent maxim to follow.

Try this:

1. Can you recollect the last 3- 5 times you were brusque , rude, defiant, angry, indifferent  to others. Can you remember the people with whom you behaved like that and the background that prompted such behavior? Who was the main culprit in the matter?
2. The next time you are upset attempt to take deep breaths, pause and forcibly smile, ensure a big time gap before you interact with anyone, read a joke or see a cartoon or do anything that will improve your mood and make you feel cheerful.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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