We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them. Thucydides
If we reflect on the numerous friends who have become part of our lives we would observe a common trait in many cases… either they did you a favor and then your cemented the friendship or you helped them out and then the friendship was cemented by them. The favors might be something so simple that you might not even recollect it but that was the corner stone around which the edifice of your friendship was built. It is also possible that over the years some friendships have broken off and a close study of the reasons could throw up a disturbing fact that someone’s expectations out of the friendship might have been misplaced.
The word favor often conjures up images of substantial monetary help or some life and death episode in which someone played a critical part. Surprisingly most favors consist of simple acts that happened at the right time. Remember the time that you were accused of playing some mischief by the class teacher but the class monitor vouched for your innocence perhaps at the cost of incurring the teachers wrath. Maybe it was a class mate who lend you his / her books during exam time because your books were lost or misplaced. Simple acts of kindness often lead to strong bonding and lifelong friendships. The pat on the back or a spontaneous gesture of appreciation by a colleague for a job well done can be the beginning of a wonderful friendship.
It is just as important to forget that you did someone a favor and it is equally vital that you remember the favors done by others. What it means is that one must never expect favors to be returned but one must endeavor to return a favor at the first opportune moment. I remember a class mate who readily agreed to arrange for blood for the operation of a close family member. Almost three decades later he contacted me when we had a class reunion and I was delighted to host him at my home since he had moved out of town. He never remembered the favor he had done me even when I reminded him about it and he was profusely thankful for the hospitality I extended him. Reunion times are the best occasion to recall the fun times and the strong bonds that were forged which unfortunately got untangled as people moved away due to work and professional commitments. Fortunately the communication revolution has provided us the perfect platform to remain in touch even when we are miles away.
Today we are in a position to maintain our friendships over time and space and we must leverage that benefit. A word of encouragement, appreciation, apology, sympathy or simply a line in acknowledgment would spur relationships and forge friendships. Leveraging the power of networking provides us a fabulous platform to do favors. Similarly one can share his/ her expertise to do favors and occasionally even use ones clout and influence to favor a friend provided it is done with the right spirit and intention. In the final analysis we need to give to others and you will be repaid by more than just another favor; you will have made a friend for life!
Remember: “true friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient; it’s about being there when it’s not.”
- Read up on other dimensions of friendship in the following blog http://poweract.blogspot.com/2010/05/friend.html .
- Try and locate 3 long lost friends and begin communicating with them. How about attempting to make 1 new friend a month or at least trying to get to know 1 new person a week?
This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
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