Be the person you are

To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are. Anon

Right from childhood we are greatly influenced by the people we adore and love. While it maybe our parents in our formative years, as we grow up we form our Idols be they sports persons, actors/ actresses, writers or philosophers. Most of the time we are in awe of their achievements; we envy their success and crave for their popularity. As a result we slowly get obsessed with these idols that we start following their actions, their style and mannerisms. Occasionally we also end up imitating them because we feel we can make a beginning by copying them.  When we are so enamored by our idol, we rarely see the other side of them, their limitations, their weakness or their fallibility. We end up believing that our idols can never be wrong and that they are the epitome of excellence.

Unfortunately what we do not realize is that while we can be ardent admirers, we cannot be exact duplicates and more importantly the world wants a new individual not a replica. It is even more important to realize that each of us is born as a unique personality having characteristics, mannerisms, styles and abilities which are never fully tapped nor the potential realized. It is when a person uses his/ her talents and abilities, realizes their full potential and stands out in a crowd that the world at large appreciates and applauds the contribution of the individual. It is good to have dreams but the dreams must focus on what one wants to achieve and it should not be limited to imitating another. When you dream of some personal goals, set some ambitious targets, visualize your personal success story that is when you set the stage for a sterling performance and the real you comes to the fore and holds center stage.

Even the most mediocre person has something unique to offer. If nothing else their smile would be something that has a warmth of its own and it can brighten the environment and cheer up all around. It is a pity that the vast majority of human beings lack self belief and find it hard to recognize their personal strengths. One important reason for this lack of self belief is our penchant to compulsively compare our abilities with that of another person and invariably it is with someone who is very adept. The net result is that we end up feeling that we do not have anything much to showcase or boast about. Perhaps our parents and teachers are partly responsible for this since they would always compare your scholastic achievement with that of the class topper leaving you unappreciated and disheartened. For example, it often happens that when you have topped English in the exams the focus of parents and teachers is on the relatively low score in Mathematics that you have got. Perhaps English is your strength but now it seems inconsequential in your eyes.

Ideally, each person must be proud of his/ her own individuality that is reflected in our behavior, attitude, mannerisms, manners and performance. If you are criticized evaluate it, if the criticism is valid learn and make changes to improve; if the criticism is harsh and in your view unwarranted don’t take offense simply ignore it.  Begin to appreciate those aspects of your personality that others envy and /or appreciate. Build up on these strengths. Eg. Even if academics is not your strong point you might be a brilliant organizer and team leader. Leverage those strengths and soon you will find that you are much sought after and become a great influencer. The biggest benefit is that you will rediscover the real you !

Remember: Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. Bruce Lee

Try this:

  1. List out the alphabets of your first name and make a positive adjective that is applicable to you starting with each alphabet. Eg. JOHN Jovial Outspoken Handsome Nice or JOAN Jester Original Active Helpful. Now if you can ensure that these qualities are displayed by you in you day to day living so that people recognize these strengths in you. Next do a similar exercise with your surname.
  2. Focus on those positive qualities that are greatly appreciate by your friends/ superiors/ peers/ family etc. Seek ways and means to use it even more effectively. Eg. if you are seen as a meticulous person, volunteer to be a coordinator for some small events at office / local association etc.

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