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Archive for August, 2012

It is jokingly said that after God man Adam, he had a good look and then murmured I can do a better job and then he took a rib of Adam and created Eve… and possibly ever since love was supposed to be the dominant theme.  Alas, the serpent had other ideas and once he lured Eve with the Apple, she enticed Adam too with it. Possibly that was the beginning of people continuing  to be lured into loving things and using people for their own self centered interests.

When we dispassionately look at our behavior we would know how true it is that we tend to love things a lot more than we will admit. Why is it that we want the lasts gizmos in the marketplace, the trendiest watches, the latest styles in attire no matter what the costs or irrespective of its utility for us. Look at the way we hoard things, the umpteen pictures we take without digital cameras in the fond hope of holding on to memories, the huge cache of books right from our KG days not to mention the wardrobe of long discarded but safely kept clothes.

At the same time though we may deny it our conscience won’t let us forget that there are many a time when we use even those who are close to us for our own selfish ends. How much time do we spend with our parents once they grow old and we get busy with our lives? Do we ignore our siblings or family members who have grievances to share, fears to express or seek attention from us? Most times it is because they disturb our tranquility and we cannot empathize with them. Yet when we need them we will shamelessly mend fences or build bridges to get our way with them.

If we are wee bit pragmatic we would realize the futility of loving things; for while we can accumulate and possibly enjoy the luxury and comfort and the adulation it brings, they are by no means a guarantee of long term happiness and more importantly they are all replaceable. On the other hand, if we open our hearts and give our all to those around, we would double the joy around by being participants in the others happiness too. Those whom we love are all irreplaceable and LOVE is the only emotion that ensures an unconditional and undying connect forever. Just look at a picture of someone whom you loved passionately but is not around anymore; in a jiffy you can feel the persons presence, fast forward our minds to the blissful moments we spent with them and fell their warmth and affection in the deepest recess of our heart.

Try this:

What adjectives/ words of appreciation would describe the following persons? 

  • Your dad / mom (choose any one)
  • Your favorite sibling/ cousin
  • Your favorite grandparent
  • Your favorite teacher

Make a list consisting of at least 2 persons/ things but not exceeding 5 who meet the following criteria

  • The things you have lost and miss very much
  • The people in your childhood whom you resented very much
  • The relatives (except from your own family) you love the most
  • The things you own that you won’t gift even to your best friend
  • The things that you wished you owned if you had all the money in the world
  • The causes of charity for which you would donate the most

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Strength

Strength is often seen as a display of might, be it in physique, through aggression or foolhardy bravado. The gyms are full of people aiming to ape their six pack heroes, the exaggerated use of lung power backed  occasionally by physical violence to prove one’s right are symptomatic of the malady that mistakenly believe that strength is in overpowering through might. Equally damaging is the mistaken belief that anyone who backs out from a challenge, takes a soft and calm approach or attempts to ignore provocation is a sissy or coward. The truth though is that real strength lies in being forceful without being aggressive, standing up to be counted rather than giving a standing count to a weakling and is best exemplified when backing out gracefully when the engagement is not worth it. This is well underscored in the following anecdote.

There is an interesting tale told about a Lion who consistently refused to battle a skunk. The skunk went around proclaiming the Lions fear and his superiority to the Lion when it came to a battle. The Lion still went about nonchalantly about his business. Upon being pressed for a reason for refusing to battle a skunk, he replied that he refused such a battle because as king of the jungle he didn’t want to be seen in the company of a skunk.

Then there is also the huge problem of misplaced machosim masquerading as strength.. Misplaced machoism, be it indulging in road rage, ragging juniors or taking umbrage at the slightest perceived affront is often the result of the mistaken notion, that one can display one’s strength to substantiate one’s worth. The real strength as exemplified by Mahatma Gandhi is in treading the tougher path of non violence, registering protest by peaceful means and retaining one’s dignity in the face of compelling provocation. Unfortunately unscrupulous politicians and radical religious fundamentalist are often guilty of attempting to provoke, incite and frenzy up support, particularly for wantonly misplaced causes through a slew of rabble rousing speeches and conveniently interpreted truth of happenings around. The objective of such tirades being, to influence support through a show of strength in numbers, as well as through demonstrated violence and mayhem.

Contrast this with the trend of peaceful demonstrations, candle light marches, black armband protests and resolution by dialogue and empathy. True these methods are more long drawn in getting results, cannot be a very effective substitute for dealing with continued aggression or be the only alternative at all times but by and large they deliver more lasting and acceptable results. Equally important is the realization that it takes greater strength to withdraw or throw in the towel when it is imminent or give in so as to live to fight another day. Strength is best demonstrated when one stands up to own up a mistake, genuinely accepts failures and heartily applauds a better victor. The ultimate strength is often perceived to be in sacrificing one’s life for another but equally important is the strength that allows one to take on the responsibility for another’s faults and failures and live with the  shame, the blame and the infamy of a an act never committed by you. The greatest strength you can posses is to be accepted by others as someone dependable, trustworthy and honorable.

Try this:

  • Read the well known short story Mr. Know All by W. Somerset Maugham  to appreciate and understand  the real strength of the principal character Max Kelada. Click on this link to read the story http://ajarnjohn.com/about-fluency/original-stories/mr-know-all/
  • Rate your personal strengths on the following parameters by rating them from 1-10 with your best strength being rated 10 and the least rated 1. Each perceived strength should have only one unique rating number. Can you think of examples from your life to justify the 2 most important strengths and the 2 lowest strengths?
  1. Discipline
  2. Integrity
  3. Creativity
  4. Not flustered
  5. Tactfulness
  6. Impartiality
  7. Commitment
  8. Work ethics
  9. Intelligence
  10. Resourcefulness

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Be happy no matter what…

Image

Make it a point to look out for the smiles, the joy and the gay abandon with which people live their lives and you would find that happiness is there everywhere. Happiness has no boundaries, no barriers and certainly no preconditions. Happiness is an integral part of us that has to be discovered, nurtured and nourished by a liberal dose of positive attitude, right thinking and a large and grateful heart.

Give your spontaneous yes or no answers to the following 3 questions and you will have an idea of your happiness quotient

  1. Are you happy to be alive?
  2. Are you ready to die?
  3. Do you have any regrets?

If you have regrets you cannot be happy. However you can make an attempt to address your regret at the earliest if that is possible. (E.g. you regret the intemperate language and nasty behavior displayed in a fit of rage towards an elderly relative. If the person can be contacted do express your apologies and seek pardon and the regret is over) Else decide not to let the regret be an emotional Damocles sword over your naturally cheerful self. (E.g. of the concerned person in the scenario described earlier is no longer alive brooding over that regret merely pricks the bubble of your natural happiness)

If you are not ready to die, it simply means you have a lot of craving left yet; be it for material wealth, personal relationships and personal aspirations. Of course, the young readers would be upset that no allowance is made for their dreams and aspirations but the focus is actually on ones sense of fulfillment experienced in the life lead so far. (E.g. if you are given just a month more to live by your doctor, no matter what your age, would feel that month too short a time?)

If you say a resounding YES to life and continue to eagerly look forward to each morning it merely reinforces the reality that you are one lucky happy soul.

Action Points:

Can you find something to be happy about in the following situations?

  1. You have failed an exam
  2. You wallet has been robbed during rush hour commuting
  3. You are denied a seat in an international flight because the flight was overbooked.
  4. You have been given a pink slip as an unfortunate victim of downsizing
  5. You discover that your best friend has betrayed your trust and let you down.

Do enjoy the video of the Man who has no hands, no legs and shares his happiness. To view it please  click on the following link http://www.youtube.com/embed/da5QQSxSsGY

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Like many of you reading this post, I have had a number of dreams, aspirations and expectations, a few of which I did achieve. Unfortunately, I must also confess that I just haven’t managed to realize the vast majority of my plans and worse still, have made all sorts of convenient excuses to rationalize my inability to perform to my potential. At the end of the day no one is interested in excuses; the world recognizes only performances not promises. So then I asked myself ‘Hey dude what is stopping you?’ Here is what I found out …(Notice the point in red refers to the problem and the one in blue is the antidote for it.)

Lack of focus – Perhaps this is the one single most important reason that many of us don’t utilize our talents, stumble along life’s way and remain incognito most of our life. We have no idea of what we want to do with our life, we do not have a clear agenda for ourself and merely lurch from day to day hoping that each day will be better than the previous.

Goal setting – We have some haze idea as to what we want from life. However to be focused in life we have to make that effort to actually ask and answer the 5W’s and 1H that pertain to our own life. One has to write down one’s goals be it personal goals, academic goals, professional goals or social goals. Ask any Olympic participant and you will find one thing in common- each of them had a goal to represent their country in the Olympics

Over commitment – In our anxiety to make up for our lack of focus and experience a sense of achievement, we make the next cardinal mistake of attempting more than what we realistically can attempt successfully. We also end up being over-committed because we want to please as many people as we can and also because subconsciously we hope that we will strike it rich by having more options. What we don’t seem to realize is that all we end up doing is biting of more than what we can chew.

Learning to say NO – If one has a goal, life is a lot simpler for there is clarity of purpose. Yet we are often thrust with tasks that we do not want to do, are not capable of doing or which is just not your business. Refusing to do something is not looked upon kindly but if our goal is clear and the tasks not aligned to our personal goals it is best that one take courage to say a polite NO and get on with the tasks that take you closer to your end goal..

Surrendering to problems – Every excuse one makes is nothing but the articulation of a problem. Problems come in all shapes and sizes and we often end up seeing a problem as insurmountable either because we do not want to make the effort to find a solution or because we have psyched ourselves into making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Finding creative Solutions – Problems exist because someone has yet to find a solution. Why not have an attitude that the solution can be provided by ME? Get through the problem, under the problem, around the problem or over the problem but ensure the problem is suitably addressed. Also make it a habit never to give excuses and suddenly the problem is no longer a burden to be carried but a present to be unwrapped.

Sheer laziness – Ah I bet each one of us is seriously guilty of this. No amount of explanation can substitute for condoning this.

Penalize yourself – The system will penalize us for our laziness. The marks one got in academics in large measure reflected the effort one put in. Similarly the lack of success experienced can be seen as a penalty imposed by life especially when one has been tardy, casual and indifferent to the opportunities made available. Imposing an additional penalty on ourselves would be the best way to beat laziness.

Now when I reflect on the question ‘what is stopping you?’ the answer is loud and clear…NOTHINGit is simply ME not measuring up to myself.

Action Points:

  1. Play an indoor game like caroms or throw darts on a dart board to appreciate the importance of focus. Every time you miss your target, examine your response to it; are you blaming something or someone or do you refocus quickly with a better strategy?
  2. You are at a party and though playing a game of tambola or housie was planned as the last game, the housie board and tickets have been misplaced. The 50 odd revelers are badgering you to play the game. How will you come up with an innovative housie game that does not use the housie board nor the use of housie tickets. You can assume you have any other resource being at your disposal. Clue: You have sufficient stock of pen and paper

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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