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Archive for September, 2012

This is an apt simile that offers so many possibilities to make life interesting, joyful and fulfilling. By following it, one can distill the best that life has to offer and it would make for a refreshing perspective to life.

Here is the way, to make that brew called life, perfect.

Boil your ego. Our ego is what gives us our pride, our individuality and our self respect. Unfortunately, far too often we have a bloated ego, a false sense of pride and quite often mistake unpleasant feedback got from others as an affront to our self respect. A more objective look and a realistic assessment of ourselves can help us boil our ego such that the best in us is distilled out as our unique flavor and the residue can be safely discarded.

Evaporate your worries Man is perhaps the only creature in the animal kingdom that carry’s the heavy load of worry on our backs, minds and life.If we are poor we worry about our livelihood, if we are middle class we worry about being rich and these who are rich are worried about increasing their wealth and protecting what they have. Parental worries about the children future is another never ending soap opera that rewinds itself constantly. Children worry about coping with parental expectations, academic performance and exploring their own individuality.

Dilute your sorrows Death is a certainty and obviously therefore sorrow is a natural corollary of it. However we take every niggle and every trouble to be an unfortunate and sorrowful happening and with rare exceptions tend to focus mostly on our troubles. Rather than make life a permanent mourning one must make life one big celebration and cope with sorrow by using the antidote of rationalization, acceptance, pragmatism and laughter.

Filter your mistakes When in a reflective mood many of us pensively wish we could change the script of our life, erasing the mistakes and the glitches that mar our personality. How we also wish we could redo things of the past and perhaps also do some things that we didn’t do in the past. The problem starts when we use this pensive thoughts as a crutch to lean on for all our inefficiencies, mistakes, failures instead of learning from it. Filtering your mistakes involves accepting the mistake, analyzing the root problem that caused it and taking some tough, bold and firm decisions to ensure it won’t be repeated.

Get that taste of happiness. The essence of life is happiness and that is an emotion that comes naturally to us. Alas, the harsh realities of life, our own complex thinking and our beliefs and attitudes influence and shape our perception of happiness. However, having used the analogy of brewing a good cup of tea, it is for us to finally strain out the cup of tea while discarding the residue. In the process we have got rid of our false ego, our persistent worries, left behind our sorrows and got over our mistakes. What is left is the real you. Some pointers to enjoying happiness include indulging one’s self, letting down one’s hair, enjoying the adulation and feeling light in body and spirit.

Try this:

Every day attempt any one or more of the following

  • Smile with warmth at an acquaintance or stranger or colleague
  • Share a word of encouragement/ appreciation with 2 at least 2 people
  • Forgive someone who has wronged you/ hurt you / been rude/ been disrespectful to you
  • Read one joke or cartoon strip or share a joke with someone
  • Every night think of 3 things that happened in the day that you are grateful for.

Think of the following and the possible erroneous ideas you have about it.

  • Three things that you believe are your strengths. – Do you have sense of false pride / ego about it??
  • Think of one sorrow that you find hard to overcome. Do you feel sad and despondent about any other aspects of your life so far? – By merely feeling sad and/ or worrying about it are you able to achieve anything?
  • Think of 3 mistakes made by you that you wished you could go back in time and correct. Have you overcome the anxiety cause by those mistakes or do they still negatively impact your life?
  • Think of 3 occasions when you are completely stress free, happy and at peace with yourself. Do you enjoy those moments often enough and can you find/ create other such moments to make your life very fulfilling.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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For the past couple of months, well meaning friends and acquaintances have been politely inquiring as to why I have not been writing my blogs as frequently as before. I suspect a number of my blog followers and readers also have a similar query. The plain and simple fact is that I chose to cut down on writing these blogs partly because my priorities changed, partly due to perceptible lack of motivation but mainly due to an unfortunate combination of travel, fatigue and spells of laziness. However, choosing a topic to write on perhaps was the biggest challenge and the real issue that has proved to be the biggest stumbling block in my quest to positively influence my readers through his blog. I have chosen to put these facts before you, for you have been loyal readers and you are entitled, in my view, to be updated of the facts.

The theme for today is something that is both a challenge to embrace and an inducement hard to refuse. I chose it precisely for this intriguing dichotomy.

I choose

to live by choice, not by chance by being aware of the options, appreciating the consequences of my decisions and by consciously improving my chances of success by wisely exercising my choices. Remember: Chance favors the prepared man

to make changes, not excuses by using my intelligence, my creativity, my powers of visualization and all my abilities to influence and impact my life and environment around me. Remember: Instead of cursing the darkness light a lamp

to be motivated and not be manipulated by finding big and small reasons to enjoy what I have to do, by experiencing the joy of a job well done and by doing things right on time without having to be pushed, coerced or threatened. Remember: We cannot be pushed from behind or pulled from the front; we have to be driven from within.

 to be useful and not used by volunteering to lighten another’s burden, by standing up for what is right by not being cowed down by another’s authority or power and by utilizing ones talents and abilities for the larger good of society at large. Remember: It is better to wear out than rust out.

to excel not compete by preparation and decisive action, by treading the path of integrity and honesty and shunning the urge to display one-upmanship. Remember: Excellence is achieved by competing with yourself.

to choose self esteem and not self pity by learning to live within my means, by appreciating the blessings I am showered with by not envying another or feeling sorry for what I lack. Remember: “To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.”

to listen to my inner voice and not the random opinion of others by imbibing the qualities of fair play, truth, justice and independence of thought and action. To respect the opinion of others without being unduly influenced by them and having the courage of conviction to stand by what I am sure is the path of righteousness. Remember: To sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.

Try this:

  1. Out of the above list out the toughest point that you find hard to choose and implement. Outline reasons for it. Think of ways and means that would enable you to cope with that challenge if and when you have to face it.
  2. List out the most common criticisms about yourself which are expressed by those close to you. Which of those criticisms are valid? How do you propose to tackle those criticisms?
  3. If you are to hold one of the following 3 pairs of insects /animals in your hands for 5 minutes which pair would you choose and why? (none of them belong to a poisonous or dangerous species)
  • A frog and a lizard
  • A cockroach and a spider
  • A snake and a mouse

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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As a social animal, man has to live with fellow human beings for sustenance, companionship and growth. Unfortunately man, unlike other animals that also live in groups or herds or prides has the compulsive unconscious urge to seek acceptance /approval of those around for every deed, action and indulgence. Even more unfortunately, man has also perfected the art of being a born critic and we easily find fault with people, happening and things around. When we analyze the behavior of the critic in us, we would realize that we have subconsciously become negative in our perception and thinking, our negativity has clouded our ability to be more discerning and appreciative and we are easily reconciled to failure, plead haplessness and find excuses to rationalize our personal lack of success.

Let us examine how each of these behaviors’ are self imposed and self limiting.

By being negative in our perception and thinking we let in self doubt creep in; we train ourselves to see the imperfections and we gravitate towards the bare minimum standards of acceptance so that we don’t seem to be failures. The fear of public speaking that an overwhelming majority of people suffer from is a classic case of our negative perception and thinking preoccupies us and restrains us from overcoming our fears.

Negativity clouding our ability to discern and be appreciative makes us succumb to the temptation of fault finding, self depreciation and failure prone. Even if someone else gives us a compliment we tend to play it down or deflect attention to something that takes the shine of the compliment. Similarly when opportunity presents itself we hesitate to take the initiative succumbing to our insecurities. We also naturally end up focusing on those failures that we may have encountered and completely ignore the numerous success that we have been privileged to embrace. Remember how our parents automatically scanned out report card to find the red lines that signified failure or quickly picked up on the lowest marks completing ignoring the numerous high scores we may have got.

By reconciling to failure, pleading haplessness and finding excuses, we do not give ourselves the opportunity to leverage our inherent strengths. Success is actually a culmination of effort most of it repetitive efforts despite failures. Many of us though give up at the first hurdle instead of persisting with hope and faith. We do not even make the effort of trying pleading haplessness or find excuses to wriggle out of a tough call. The overwhelming emotion that envelopes us is fear of failure and ridicule by others is actually the critic in us constantly whispering in our mind don’t embarrass yourself in front of others. How many of us who do poorly in our tasks began by saying ‘I don’t know what to do’ and later go on to say ‘ I am not capable of doing it’ and finally accepted failure by saying ‘ I just wasn’t cut out for it’. Notice that each of those statements are actually directed at others who maybe onlookers, co-participants or possibly evaluators and the statements are crude efforts to avoid any criticism.

The only way to tackle our fears is to confront it by being a participant and not a distanced critic. This is best done by visualizing success, anticipating and preparing for potential pitfalls and wholeheartedly embracing and enjoying the process. The real success would be in conquering one’s fears by setting yourself free of criticism, fear or failure.

Try this:

In the next one month ensure you attempt at least one of the following tasks that you have never attempted before

  • Learning a new form of dance
  • Easting with chopsticks
  • Learning to speak 10 sentences in a new language
  • Inviting friends to an exotic meal cooked entirely by you
  • Participating in 3 contests
  • Try your hand at origami

From the following situations, rate the situation that would embarrass you the most to the least. Reflect on why each situation gets the rating you have assigned.

  • Your boss getting hold of a love letter written to you.
  • You going for an important meeting post lunch and your shirt has a big stain because you spilt coffee on it at lunch time.
  • You excitedly greet and animatedly talk to a very charming person, who then gently tells you he/she is not the person you thought he/she was.
  • You are making an important presentation and by error click on a PPT you were studying of a competitor’s product.
  • You are with guests in a restaurant and despite the guests offer to foot the bill, insist that you will pick the tab only to discover that you forgot your wallet which contains the credit cards too.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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