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Archive for January, 2013

13-3-Let your life reflect the beauty in you

By nature many of us tend to be modest and undervalue ourselves, possibly fearing that we would be branded egoistic. Then there are others who strut around displaying their brawn or brain or wealth partly to impress others but often to overcome some other shortcoming in them.  Of course there are many others who live an indifferent life, yearning to make an impact in the society they live in and hoping they get noticed. In reality, the world values and respects anyone who behaves, acts and demonstrates humane qualities, exemplary behavior and a sense of responsibility. This is perhaps the simplest and most natural way a normal human being should ideally respond, for each of us is born with the a multitude of virtues be it innocence, honesty, empathy, happiness and love.

Unfortunately the vices of the world, the pressures of survival and the craving to amass superimpose in our original self the artificiality of being worldly wise, attempting to be clever by half, walking the tight rope between reality and illusion and seeking self gratification at any cost. The once radiant self, the childlike innocence, the core values in us dissipate against the onslaught of the pressure to conform to the emerging standards of the society and environment around us. This change for the worse is reflected in our inability to be at peace with ourselves, our constant suspicion and apprehension of the world around us and our disgust, dislike and disapproval of people, circumstances and happenings around us.

Yet despite this gloomy and glum scenario, there is hope; hope that is well within your abilities and grasp; all it needs is YOU for you are the mirror that reflect backs what everyone else sees. Here are a few virtues which you can nurture and nourish to ensure that you live and reflect hope, harmony and   happiness where ever you are.

Smile. There is nothing so simple as smiling when your are happy, when you are at peace, when you want to lighten the mood, when you want to reach out to another, when you want to overlook and aberration by another, when the troubles seem overwhelming and when you want to experience bliss.  A smile relives the tensions, helps connect with another and gets others to experience your joy.

Respond. Reach out proactively, do something spontaneously, make things happen, take the lead, stand up to be counted, speak up to be heard, stand by a friend in trouble, confront the wrong doer, restrain your anger, realize your potential.

Give. Giving your time is perhaps the most challenging of all the gifts that you can give. Give unconditionally, give it free and give with grace be it time, money or love.

Accept. Accept with grace you faults, your mistakes, your limitations, the negative feedback and your punishments. More importantly accept your family, friends and colleagues as an extension of yourself, with all the limitations and imperfections that you have accepted of yourself.

Forgive. First learn to forgive yourself and get rid of the guilt of your past shortcomings, failings, mistakes and aberrations. Thereafter open your heart to those who have wronged you and forgive them their indiscretions and willful hurt they may have caused.

Love. If we have been stingy with this emotion, it is time we realized that this is one emotion that you will never run short of. Love yourself first, then those around, then go on to love your life as it exists, love the circumstances in which you are and love the miracle called life. Within those 4 alphabets lies the universal secret, that where there is LOVE Life Opens Virtuous Emotions.

Try this :

  1. For each of the 6 virtues enumerated above, outline one or two situations or people where you would find it extremely difficult to respond with the relevant virtue. Ask yourself if it is your ego that is the barrier or the hurt is too extensive or you fear a sense of defeat if you respond with a positive emotion?
  2. How would you relate/ respond/ react to the following
  • You are asked to identify a robber who has waylaid you and trashed you when robbing you.
  • You meet a former tyrannical boss who you feel has derailed your career at a social function.
  • You run into a former intimate friend with whom you had a bitter parting.
  • You meet a former teacher, who had mistakenly accused you of copying in an exam as a result of which your reputation took a severe beating.
  • During a family picnic you are forced to travel with a cousin in his/ her car whom you had accused of damaging your sports gear because of  which you and your cousin stopped talking years ago.
  • You bump into an old colleague at the city hospital who had borrowed a few thousand rupees for an emergency and who thereafter left your organization and never got in touch with you to return the money

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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13-2-Be true to yourself and discover ...

Like a dog chasing its tail in the fond hope of finding happiness there, the human race seeks to find happiness in the world around us. Unlike a dog that only has one tail to chase, we end up pursuing every strand of perceived happiness  largely materialistic, quite often competitively , at times egoistically and  when stressed spiritually. The trouble though is that, we seek happiness by being selfish, self centered and for self gratification. Interestingly when we are pursuing happiness focused largely on our self centered needs, unwittingly we are using what we perceive as the happiness of others as the benchmark for our own gratification and happiness. In short we covet what others have and when on the rare occasion we do manage to posses it, after a brief spell of ecstasy we look for something else for our self gratification and resultant happiness.

Now pause for a moment and try and recollect those moments of bliss that you experienced. Was it the time you received a praise for having done a good deed or was it the time you learned to balance a bicycle without falling off or was it the time you found a valuable that was lost or was it the time you scored the highest ever marks in your career or was it all of the above? Notice that in each of these moments of happiness, you were central to the moment. The thrill was in experiencing and cherishing the moments that belonged to you and you alone. There was no benchmark to measure it with, no competition that prodded you on, no ego that had to be satisfied; it was simply a personal wow moment.

The challenge is then to make the best of every moment that is yours. Worrying is perhaps the biggest thief of those moments. Instead the focus must be on getting on with what has to be done. Criticism if any that comes your way must be accepted with grace if it is justified else ignored when it is misdirected. The occasional failures must be seen as an opportunity to learn and better yourself.  The pain that comes with having to deal with tough tasks must be seen as a small price to pay in the larger scheme of things. Every small success that comes along must be embraced with warmth, cherished with delight and treasured as priceless. That is true happiness deservingly and exclusively yours.

Happiness is not just what comes from getting something or achieving something. The nectar of happiness is sweetest when we give. A smile is the simplest thing that we can freely give and receive manifold in return. A smile is an outer expression of an inner radiance. A word of praise or comfort, the warmth of a hug, an apology for a mistake, pardon to another for an indiscretion and thanks to anyone who deserves it are triggers of happiness. Similarly exercising control over our negative emotions be it anger, envy, jealousy, pride etc. help us realize our inner strength and translates into happiness in realizing the power of our own self control.

Happiness comes from knowing that by your thoughts and deeds YOU have left the world a better place.

Try this:

  1. List out the names of 5 individuals who you dislike immensely. Now try and outline 3 positive qualities that each of these individuals posses. Do you experience a lessening of your dislike because you have got a more objective understanding of these individuals? Now outline the one quality in the person that irritates you the most. Can you see this irritant as a minor one and ignore it? Do you feel happier for having excused the person for his/ her irritating ways?
  2. Make a list of 5 for each of the following
  • Your favorite jokes
  • Your favorite pictures
  • Your favorite songs
  • Your favorite movies
  • Your favorite teachers
  • Your favorite moments in life

How did you feel after having made the list? Did it bring back some fond memories?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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13-1-Set yourself free_life

With the start of a new year, we can begin afresh, leaving behind both the troubles and the accolades of the past year behind. While the past will always be lurking in the deep recess of our minds, the future invariably gives us hope but is largely tempered by apprehensions born out of a wild imagination. The present then is squeezed between nostalgia and apprehension, your hopes and your despairs and your dreams and your nightmares. The only way out is to set yourself free; free of your own self imposed bondage.

Here is how you go about setting yourself free

Find a purpose for yourself. Parental expectations during our formative years have a large bearing in how we visualize a future for ourselves. However, the individuality in you often feels stifled and throttled by having to toe a line drawn by others. However perilous a course we chart for ourselves, if we focus on our goal our journey would be more meaningful, more fulfilling and definitely more liberating.

Tip: Write an epitaph for yourself and you would have the purpose of your life outlined clearly.

Reward yourself. We often ourselves overburdened, stressed and running to stay ahead in pursuit of our goals. It is as if the world is examining us with a microscope and we need to do meet their expectations. The reality is you have to pace yourself not with the benchmarks set by others but in relation to our own abilities, potential and capabilities.. This invariably means that you have to reward yourself; be it by taking breaks, indulging in something off beat, taking your foot off the gas pedal or simply lounging around and clearing your mind.

Tip: The key is not how far you go but how much you have enjoyed the journey.

Explore beyond yourself. Time to change your routine. Give yourself a new makeup. If you have been following the beaten path, pause, think of the numerous possibilities that you have failed to explore. Have you wanted to try your hand at something off beat? Ever tried bungee jumping or rock climbing or scuba diving? Ever had the urge to learn a musical instrument or act in a play? Did you always have a social service streak that you never dared to try so far?

Tip: There is nothing stopping you except your inhibitions and possibly your inertia.

Excuse yourself.

Notice that at every stage you are doing what you have planned for yourself, without being weighed down by the expectations, the hopes, the plans and the aspirations others have for you. It is possible that in the process you would have stumbled, bruised yourself, suffered criticism, wondered if you made a mistake and worse of all get the sinking feeling that you should not have dared to move out of your comfort zone. Learn to excuse yourself no matter what the consequence of your personal, calculated and deliberate actions.

Tip : Since you chose to follow your heart and mind you should allow your heart and mind to be free of any guilt.

It is your life – set it free – find the YOU within YOUrself.

Try this:

  • List out 5 of your apprehensions/ fears. Now for each of them work out a way to actually confront your fear. E.g. You fear lizards. Now find a reptile zoo that you can visit to actually confront that fear. Don’t do it because it is suggested here but because you want to overcome those fears.
  • List out 5 of your greatest desires or wishes. Now for each of them work out a way to actually realize them. E.g. You want to go on a cruise. Now read up on all the cruises. Select one that seems to catch your imagination. Slowly but deliberately start working on the finances, the dates, the preparations etc. for it. Before you realize it you would be packing your bags to realize your dreams.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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