This pearl of wisdom is first meant for parents, especially those parents who have already chalked out the course their children should traverse. It would also boost the confidence of youngsters who are yearning to follow their dreams/ passions which are far removed from those expectations others have from them.
It is essential to acknowledge that each person is an individual who would have his/ her parents DNA but thereafter grows up to be an independent thinker and would have to walk a self chalked out path all on his/her own. Most parents believe that having their DNA gives them a right to mould and control a child to meet their pre determined standards and fulfill their ideal desires. Other well meaning friends, family members and elders would also similarly express themselves in an overbearing manner with good intent but with precious little appreciation for the individuality of those they are addressing.
Elders in general, including teachers, grandparents, uncles and aunts and parents in particular usurp the right to profusely spiel out advice believing that their age and experience give them an upper hand in dealing with the challenges of life. While their age and experience do have immense value, what they fail to appreciate in others is that the others particularly the youngsters have matured a lot faster, are exposed to a more compact world where information flows easily and they also believe they have the right to be heard loud and clear. This clash of values, expectations, hopes and ambitions is a major cause of discord within families particularly parents and children.
Here are 3 suggestions for elders and 3 for youngsters reading this, to ensure that they appreciate this post better
- Just guide them don’t goad them
- Respect the individuality of others no matter what they age or gender
- Acknowledge the efforts and if you find merit encourage them
- Respect everyone and then earn the respect of others – disagree without being disagreeable
- Share your ideas/ thoughts with elders who would be more open to your sharing
- Be committed to your goals. This means writing it down and working towards achieving it.
Visit www.johngoddard.info and find the various goals that he set for himself and how he achieved most of it. What if his elders dissuaded him? What if he did not commit himself to it?
Elders think of your parents expectations from you and your siblings. How far did they fulfill it. Now examine the growth of the 3 best students ( your classmates) in school/ college and the three so called failures in school/ college. How have they fared? Did they do something extraordinary or did some of them fail your expectations?
Youngsters don’t just have plans. Write down your plans and put it down as SMART goals. If you do not know what are smart goals, you first task is to take the effort to find out what it is. Next learn to challenge yourself. To do this write down the following first
– The animal / creature/ reptile that is found in your vicinity that you fear the most
– The activity or task that you fear /dislike the most
– The situation or occasions that you dislike immensely
– The food or cuisine that you simply don’t want to eat
– The one addiction or habit that you cannot do away with
You have to confront either all or at least 2 of the above till you reduce your aversion / kick the habit by at least 50% Self discipline is the key and overcoming your fears is the learning that is crucial for you to chart your won course.
This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
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