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Archive for October, 2014

21- 26Oct 14- I may not be perfect‘The question who am I?’ is one that every individual seeks an answer to. Yet very few of us get an answer that satisfies us. However we all get tips on who we possibly can be, who we can aim to be, the individual that we aspire to be and the individuality that we allow ourselves to occasionally bloom. One thing is common to all of us; our realisation that we are not perfect. We are forever dissatisfied with who we are; we keep hoping to change into someone better but without having a clear idea of the person we want to metamorphosis into. Shockingly many a successful person, as judged by our yardstick of success, seem to suffer from this acute sense of not being perfect or good enough and many of them seek refuge in vices and in extreme cases suicide. Surprisingly if we just look around, it would hearten us to note that there are millions of people around us who despite the realisation that they are not perfect, still go about living a decent life and wake up each day with renewed hope and laughter. So what makes some people accept their imperfection whilst others find it difficult to adjust to their circumstances?

The key lies in the word acceptance. When we do not accept who we are, our constant endeavour is to depict ourselves as those we hope to be. Our measure of happiness suddenly changes from finding joy within to finding acceptance from others, which would mean chasing money, fame, appreciation at any cost. We move away from who we really are to who we want others to believe we are. As a result we create an excessive artificiality around us; be it in style, attitude, behaviour, persona or interactions. Over period of time we start believing in this artificiality we create, never realizing that we have now faked and fooled only ourselves. Despite having fame, wealth and a wide friends circle, if we still experience a chilling loneliness, a terrifying emptiness and a bewildering sadness, it would help to review one’s life and the values one stands for. We may soon being peeling of the layers of artificiality that we used to mask ourselves with, so as to gain acceptance from those around us.

Every morning when you wake up, go to the mirror and figure out the dishevelled individual staring back. Perhaps not a pretty picture, yet we would begin in earnest to make ourselves look more presentable and soon one feels more appreciative of the person staring back. This appreciation of the self comes from the knowledge that the person is alive, has no pretence and has the potential to be much better than what is seen. Add a smile to the face, get a prayer on the lips and a song in the heart to enjoy and revel in the wonders of a new day. Your imperfections, your weakness, your limitations and your apprehensions notwithstanding, there will be a spring in your step, hope in the heart and fire in the belly because that is the real you who appreciates his/ her individuality and makes no fake pretence to be any one else.

Try this:

Identify 3 types of attire you would be most uncomfortable in. Can you appreciate the reasons why you think you would be uncomfortable sporting those attires?

Which of these fake attitudes / behaviour would irritate you the most and why?

  • Names dropping
  • Talking with an accent
  • Constant reference to branded products used by the individual
  • Exaggerated display of possessions to draw attention to
  • Frequent social networking updates with personal pictures and self promotional posts
  • Constant one-upmanship talks or rebuttals pontificating superior knowledge
  • Constant flattery especially of those in positions of power/ influence
  • Pretending to be subservient or display of exaggerated modesty

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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20- 19 Oct 14 -Burst your ego

Diwali without crackers is never a Diwali. Yet, the awareness of pollution, the dangers that lurk in some types of crackers, the knowledge that a lot of child labour and inhuman labour conditions are prevalent in cracker manufacturing units and the understanding that crackers can be symbolic of the festival but not the heart and soul of the festival is slowly seeping into the psyche of people. Hopefully this awareness is spreading and encouraging people to cut down on bursting crackers during the Diwali festival.

Diwali is also a good time to reflect on how to burn and bury some of our personal weaknesses be it our negative attitude, our pessimistic thinking, our paranoia of failure and the like. However the first step to do this is to burst our ego and identify our limitations. So here is a new way to celebrate Diwali by bursting our EGO instead of crackers. Ironically ego is an essential virtue that helps an individual appreciate his/ her self worth, gives confidence and daring to move beyond one’s comfort zone and nourishes an individual’s morals and values. However, far too often our ego tends to get bloated by success, power and adulation from others. That is when our ego needs to be pricked and burst in the same manner that a surgeon would operate and get rid of an undesirable growth. The difference though is that a surgeon has many tools to diagnose the malady but as individuals we have to make a special effort to be aware of our bloated ego which can then be burst to get us back in shape.

Here are 3 diagnostic tools to helps us identify our ego

Feedback from others – Time and time you would always get a variety of messages from friends, colleagues, family members and strangers. If you pay attention to their messages, you would often get a clue to how much they appreciate like and respect you. Pay more attention and then you will also learn to discern the messages that are often vaguely critical, occasionally brutally honest and mostly gently camouflaged as sugar coated negative feedback.

Being aware of what goes on around us – It also helps to notice the behaviour and responses of people around to get a feel of how you are perceived by those you interact with. Perhaps you find some people deliberately avoiding you or refusing to engage with you. Others could be stiff and artificial when you are around. There could be others who are cynical, make snide remarks, sarcastic or provocative when interacting with you. It is possible that the problem is with them but it is equally probable that your ego has a key role in making them disturbed when you are around.

Being aware of our own actions and reactions – This is a tough challenge because we are often blinded to our own faults. However if we take time to introspect we would realise that there are times when we easily take offense, get loud and boorish, are extremely harsh and critical of those whom we do not agree with or do not like. Similarly we would notice that some people tend to get us easily irritated, we are sarcastic or disparaging in our comments about others, are not modest about what we have achieved and find it impossible to apologize even if a situation warrants it. A reality check would often point to a bloated ego behind which we cover our numerous faults.

To burst a bloated ego use these 3 tools.

Acceptance – While the diagnostic tools would help reveal the problem with our ego, the tougher part is to accept the diagnoses. For a long time we would deny it or rationalize it. However it is only when we accept our fault that would be taking the first step to curing our ailment. Acceptance is an acknowledgment that we realize our faults and then corrective action is real possibility. However acceptance is just the first big step to bursting ones ego.

Humility – The word humility is misused liberally by people particularly political parties who lose elections and claim that they accept the people’s verdict with humility. Humility is the realisation that whatever heights we have attained are temporary and fortunes fluctuate in the blink of an eye. Humility is the one virtue that will always ground us to reality and allow us the realisation that all of us whether born into greatness or inherited greatness are prone to the vagaries of life having to suffer the pain and hurts like any other human being. Humility would be the torch that lights the way into us walking the path of values, give us strength of character and treat others as you would have others treat you.

Revising upward our personal standards – The whole problem with a bloated ego boils down to the fact that we are obsessed with our current personal standards and expect the world to believe that those standards are the ultimate. We grow only when we set the bar higher and aim for that. So if we are able to raise our personal standards a wee bit higher our focus would be on attaining that rather than on looking for appreciation for our current standards. Ego gets bloated when we keep blowing our own trumpet, make others dance to our tunes and do not realize that the beat has changed.

Try this:

  1. If you were forced into doing one of the following, name two of them are you most likely to fall victim to?
  • Cheating in an exam
  • Telling lies
  • Not naming a culprit you know when questioned
  • Deliberately not keeping a promise because it was inconvenient
  • Now examine your motives for not indulging in the others.
  1. Name 3 of your strengths that you are most proud of. How would you react to someone who criticizes any of your strengths.
  2. Read up on EGO – Exaggerated Grandiose Opinion by clicking on the link

Burst your ego this DIWALI and light up your life and fill it with a new joy !

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.in

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

http://www.poweract.blogspot.in

Read Full Post »

19-30 Sept- 14 No matter how you feel

At some time or the other, especially on Monday mornings many of us are prone to feel lazy, lousy and lethargic. There are other times particularly when we have a tough task on hand or hard nut customer appointment or times when we have to convey bad news or fire people, when we are beset with the same feeling of despondency and inadequacy. Those are the times when we are challenged to bring to the fore our inner strength, push our core beliefs to the test and above all discover the leader within us.

Avoiding the task is merely postponing the problem. Ignoring the challenge would be lying to ourselves. Delegating the unpleasant to others would be an admission of inadequacy to take on responsibility. The solution lies in being brave, bold and brazen enough to banish your apprehensions and take the bull by the horns. This is best done in the following ways

Believe that you are duty bound– Everyone has a task to perform and you are duty bound to execute all that is entrusted to you. A forest ranger at great peril to his life will confront poachers just as a fireman or solider will put his / her life on the line in fulfilling his/her duties. Do you think your tasks / duties are more life threatening or dangerous? Perhaps laziness or complacency is an unwitting companion in your life which saps your motivation and zeal to hit work. Time to be aware, awake and act decisively; get up, dress up, show up for starters.

Be aware that this is testing time – Every exam time was full of stress, anxiety and apprehension for even the toppers. Most exams were planned events and we always had time to prepare. In daily life the tests are frequent, mainly unexpected and largely challenge our self belief, self discipline and resilience. Once you realize this, it is relatively easier to accept the challenges, act decisively and have a never give up attitude.

Act with prudence, passion and fairness – When we indulge in anything reluctantly, we are tempted to treat the act with contempt, seethe with anger and do the task haphazardly with the sole intent of completing it. The outcome of such hasty, tardy and reluctant effort will nearly always be slipshod and barren. Once the decision to take on the challenge is made, then doing a good job must be the only driving force. This demands we suppress our negative emotions, delve into our strengths and act with prudence, passion and fairness to achieve the b est results.

Have no regrets – There are times when despite our best efforts we do not attain success. Imagine the plight of the person standing second; it is not for lack of effort or ability but perhaps merely because of a mistake or an extra ordinary performance by the winner. However the person standing second will never regret the effort put in or the sacrifices made because the fruits of one’s labor will always be sweet for they are earned with daring, sweat and toil.

Try this:

Identify 3 aspects of your daily work life that you dislike but cannot avoid. Now for each of these, jot down 2 things that you think make this task meaningful. Next time you perform this task think of the 2 meaningful aspects of the task and see how it makes you do the task with less consternation.

You have been gifted 2 tickets for a very prized event. You are excited and all set to go for the event with your best friend. However on the previous evening of the event you are asked to urgently go to a work site in a different city on an urgent assignment lasting 2 days. How would you rationalize the complete change of plans to yourself so that you can still do meaningful and satisfying work despite the unfortunate change in plans?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in

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