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Archive for April, 2015

10- 22 April 15- Lessons from the pastOne of the big millstones that weighs down and defeats people, is the regret that they have of their past and their mistaken belief, that they have missed the boat to success. It is true that every one of us would have something in the past that we would desperately want to edit and redo; yet the past is only a mirage that cannot be revisited but we must not convert that into a regretful flashback put on permanent loop. On the contrary, successful people have build their success by learning the lessons from their past, being cautious not to repeat the mistakes and occasionally tweaking the lessons learnt to make another attempt. (Read this to get insight of the FedEx billionaire Fred Smith http://tinyurl.com/ln9xxbq )

In fact, your past provides you an excellent reference point to value your achievements. Whatever your failures, disappointments, frustrations and / or regrets you are here today reading this post because your past could not define you as a defeatist nor could it destroy your strong will nor could it deter you from pursuing your dreams and neither did you concede defeat to the past failures. Your past has made you more determined, disciplined and daring; in short it has strengthened you.

The challenge now is to make optimum use of the strength that you posses. This can be done by consciously working on your GAME

Your Goals – Unless one has an objective and a plan, there would be neither purpose not progress. Well thought out, written goals will provide us the direction and the roadmap to march ahead. Never forget that the a journey of a 1000 miles begins with the first step. Writing down your goals is the first step in your march towards success. You must have goals for varied dimensions of your life be it personal goals, professional goals, academic goals, self development goals, relationship goals, spiritual goals etc. Writing down your goals will bring clarity, ensure attentiveness, help monitor your progress and provide you motivation and self worth to pursue it with passion.

Your Attitude – Like New Year resolutions that we all cynically believe are meant to be broken, even written down goals will remain on paper with no progress being made unless one adopts the right attitude to attain the goals. Progress could be slow, impediments could be many, there could be occasional failures and disappointments but remember every successful person has overcome all these because they had the can do, will do attitude. No goal is too big or too small. In fact the small goals are the stepping stone to success for with every small goal attained you would have traversed many mile forward to attaining your larger goal. Yes you too can eat an Elephant slice by slice!

Your Motivation – Even the most disciplined individual will have to confront the demons of self doubt, slow progress, discouragement from others and at times even the ignominy of ridicule and taunts from critics. One must be able to identify both an extrinsic motivation and more importantly and intrinsic motivation to provide the energy, the nourishment and the impetus to keep marching ahead ignoring all protestations of mind and body. Your goals must exceed your grasp for that is when one is motivated to aim higher, reach further and progress beyond one’s comfort zone and discover a new world, a new destination and a new person in you.

Your Efforts – Now that you have read so far, it is time you actually walked the talk. So write down your goals, the positive words /adjectives that could determine / outline the attitude needed and identify the motivation that will drive you to attain your goals. Don’t forget that your goals are not mere statements of good intent but definitive, positively articulated tangible outcomes. Ensure that each one of your goals is a SMART goal i.e. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time bound. By now you have the drift of what is expected of you; not platitudes of good intent but a tango of mind and body that will bring you closer to realizing your full potential, leverage your hidden strengths and give you the euphoria of success.

Who cares what happened in the past? The GAME is on…this moment is as good a time as any to begin and win !

Try these:

I often get emails (actspot@gmail.com) requesting help in finding the best way to improve an individual’s English Language Skills. Here are some ways but you will have to convert them into your own personal goals. Cultivate the right attitude, find the appropriate motivation and put in your efforts to progress in mastering English.

  • Read a lot ( could be Readers Digest / English Newspapers / Magazines / Comics / Fiction / books related to your profession etc.)
  • Look up words in the dictionary and also check for alternative in a Thesaurus
  • Most English language newspapers have a recreation page with crosswords , comic strips, other resources. Make it a habit to consciously attempt some of these daily. This is a fun way to learn new words and the meanings.
  • Cultivate English speaking friends and make a conscious effort to speak in English. Encourage your friends to correct you so that you get feedback and can improve. Make a determined effort not to speak in your native tongue.
  • Watch English movies with sub titles so that in case you do not understand the spoken language you can still grasp the words from the sub titles.
  • Write one page atleast, every day. This could be in the form of a dairy of daily happenings or it could be your thoughts and feelings or it could be a summary of your reading or random thoughts and musings. Once you start writing, you would be well on your way to becoming excellent in English for that is the culmination of the GAME you started and your Efforts will pay off.

What are the passions you always wanted to indulge in but never had the time / resources / courage to pursue? ( e.g. learn dancing , go hiking, visit Europe, write my own blog, work with an NGO, start my own business, give lectures, become a crusader for a cause etc.) Select a couple of them and put it in your list of Goals. Use the SMART goal formula to make these attainable goals. You should now be able to definitely attain your goals within the time-frame you have set.

Go through this list of positive words, that can trigger your imagination to determine other words, which will help you have the right motivation and attitude to achieve your goals.

Be yourselfThis post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.com

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9- 14 April 15 -Inner peaceDespite our best efforts to retain our equanimity, we often end up upset, annoyed, irritated, hurt, frustrated and fearful at times. Obviously these emotions make us anxious, stressed and could trigger panic in us too. We lament that we do not have peace of mind and quickly delve into finding a balm in our religious texts, search for spiritual insights or bottle up our agony keeping silent and aloof or going the other extreme by putting on a false bravado and pretence of exuberance. No matter what we do, finding inner peace becomes more challenging, stressful and at times completely elusive. The reason peace eludes us is because we hope  for peace within by seeking its solutions outside.

Like happiness, peace is an inside job. What one needs to do is focus on the following:

Appreciate what you have – It is a natural human tendency to take for granted all that we are blessed with. Unfortunately, when do not really become aware of how blessed we are be it in the form of good health, a loving family, material and financial wellbeing etc. our mind focuses on what we do not have. We then crave for it, get obsessed with it and if we are fortunate to get it turn our attention very soon to another one of our longings/ desires.

Accept the reality but work to change it – Change is the one constant in our life and far too often every change does bring with it a host of challenges. Initially we fight change hoping that the change is temporary, then we hope to adjust to it and most of the time thereafter we keep fighting to resist accepting the change. On the other hand if one accepts the reality, as we often do when we lose a loved one, then we can focus better on coping with the reality that stares us in the face. Passed over for a promotion, sudden pink slip got, sudden financial outflow for unexpected illness of a loved one, these and many more are changes that swoop down on us, give us a hard knock and yet give us scope to cope and offer us new insights, fresh possibilities and certainly hope for something even better.

Seek solutions instead of brooding over problems – Every problem disturbs ones peace of mind. However, a problem remains a problem as long as one does not find a solution. So one can restore one’s peace of mind only when we find solutions to our problems. As long as we do not attempt to find solutions to our problem we are merely sacrificing our peace of mind. Parents have problems with truant children; spouses have marital discords off and on, there are numerous problems that arise at the work place, fresh graduates have problems finding jobs, there many who have to cope with illness and pain and the list goes on. Instead of worrying about the problem seek solutions be it asking for help, seeking expert advice, finding alternatives, resolving differences or simply accepting what can’t be changed.

Focus on the above you would never notice people or situations impacting your life and disturbing your peace of mind for you have already taken charge of your negative emotions by consciously pursuing actions that yield positive results.

Here is a cartoon that aptly encompasses all the 3 points.

Inner-Peace-Accept RealityTry these:

  • When disturbed, what are the feelings / emotions that overwhelm you?  Anger / frustration / helplessness / sadness / emptiness / agitation / confusion / panic. How do you cope with these feelings so as to calm yourself down?
  • What are you favorite stress busters? Check if these stress busters have turned into addictions (e.g. smoking). Think of new possibilities / ways that can become stress busters.

This post is courtsey www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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8 - 6 April 15-Favourite hello and hardest goodbyeVisualize the favorite person in your life. You will immediately appreciate the meaning of today’s post. What is more important is YOU attempting to be the favorite person for other people. It is possible for you too to have a positive impact on those around you or those who directly or indirectly come in contact with you. So here is what you need to do to make a difference in the lives of people who connect with you.

Smile – The quickest connect that a human being can make with another is through a smile. As they say a smile costs nothing, it adds to your own face value and it is a curve that straightens a lot of things. You would much rather meet a person with a smile than one with frown; the same is true for every individual. For sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Appreciate – By nature we often let our attention focus on what is wrong, what is missing or on what is irritating or unpleasant. We expect things to be in order, an individual to be affable and situations to be convenient. However, if we ask ourselves how we manage to keep things in order including our own mood swings we would realize that is a tough task and more importantly an unappreciated happening. Don’t you crave for a little appreciation? So why not appreciate others? For sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Listen – We all have our thoughts and would love to air our views to anyone who would listen without interrupting. Do we not seek out good listeners and gravitate towards them? Ask if many are also keen to meet up with you or spend time with you because you too are a good listener. Listening is more than just patiently hearing but genuine listening is heightened when you can disagree without being disagreeable and you seek and get clarifications from the communicator. For sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Thank – It is a genuine gesture that conveys gratitude. Good upbringing will over time train us to say thank you but it is the feeling conveyed with warmth, the emotion touching the other and the profoundness of gratitude that is felt that makes thanks more than just a formality. A hearty thanks is best conveyed through the look in the eyes, the warmth of the handshake or touch and the tone of the communication. Start the conversation with a thanks and for sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Accept – Far too often we tend to ignore those who we do not like, those who we perceive as overbearing or dysfunctional in our terms of reference or those who have physical / mental / emotional challenges. We also tend to ostracize people who do not meet our standards, those who we perceive to have an attitudinal problem or are opinionated or those who are loud, have a awful dress sense or are tardy and sloppy. In reality most of these people just need our understanding which begins with us accepting them as they are. Once you accept them then we obliterate our prejudices, our biases, our resentments and it then allows us to see them for what they are warts and all. It will give us a fresh perspective and more importantly give them hope, respectability and a feeling on kinship. Goodbyes for them will always then be hard for they are bound to miss you when the time comes to part.

Reach out – There are so many people around us who crave for attention, understanding, a sympathetic listening and a loving touch. Yet we would rather take care of our own immediate concerns and give such people a wide berth. Think of times when you felt alone, misunderstood, ignored or shunned; didn’t you yearn for companionship and understanding? Do you recollect those who spontaneously shared your troubles and halved it, those who stood by with you and made you feel stronger those who encouraged you when you felt all was lost. Do you miss them now? You too can reach out to others and just let them know you are there for them. Goodbyes for them will always then be hard for they are bound to miss you when the time comes to part.

Forgive – To forgive is often considered a weakness and so thoughts of revenge and an eye for an eye often seem the logical step. Yet forgiveness is an extremely tough act for it takes a lot of resolve, a higher level of enlightenment and a very big heart to pardon a wrong doer. Pardon is what we always sought when we erred. Do you recollect the relief and exhilaration that we experienced when we let off the hook for our misdemeanors. You now know the power of forgiveness. Forgive those who have wronged you and goodbyes for them will always then be hard for they are bound to miss you when the time comes to part.

Love – Just four alphabets but they encompass life itself. Love unconditionally like a parent, love deeply like a lover and love without any bias like a pet dog would love its master. Actually true love has no shades but we imagine the hues. Love another and goodbyes will always then be hard and YET when the time comes to part we still stay connected though the bond of love.

Try these:

  1. Identify / recollect atleast one incident in your life where you experienced a few of the above emotions.
  2. Rank the following in the order of ease of forgiveness with which you can forgive the offender.
  • An urchin grabs your wallet / purse at a crowded market place and vanishes into the crowd.
  • A drunk harasses you at the railway station
  • A rash driver knocks you down and then abuses you while speeding away
  • A former classmate who you lend some money refuses to pay up and does not entertain your telephone calls.
  • You are unable to accede to request for a loan from a friend and soon you hear that she/ he has been bad mouthing you.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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