Category: approval

The power within you

The power within you

From childhood, we are taught to respect authority and to seek approval from parents, elders, and authorities before we take any major action. We also look upto them for approval to confirm that we have done a good job. There is logic and wisdom in this method for those older and wiser have greater experience and expertise which comes in handy to guide a novice.  Yet, as the years go by the novice begins to gain experience, wisdom and independent thinking. At times her/his knowledge may far exceed that of his elders. However just as old habits die hard, the need to seek approval remains partly as a mark of respect but chiefly because one hesitates to break the ties and be our own person. Maturity and independence is  translated into power when the  individual takes that giant leap of making her/ his own decisions without any approval of others. It also marks the coming of age of the individual and is a sign of the power each individual holds within.

Here are the steps to realizing and utilizing your real power:

Take responsibility – This is the key to becoming powerful. Unless one takes responsibility for the consequences of a decision / action, it is impossible for a person to be powerful. It is easy to take credit for success but almost impossible to take complete responsibility for failure. The tendency to apportion blame on circumstances, people and bad luck is common place but to own up to the problem is a tad difficult.

Be decisive – A major reason for people not using their full potential and power is their indecision. Sometimes tough decisions have to be taken for the larger good. The tough decisions can have serious consequences for some and great leaders are aware of this yet firmly give their orders. A general in war may have to sacrifice his people for the greater good of winning the war. At other times the same General may have to surrender because he knows his army cannot win and large number of lives from both sides would be lost.  In life we have our own personal wars with simple things like changing a job or giving up on a dream or pursuing a passion that is disapproved by all well wishers.

Look beyond – Your real power is not in what you achieve in the short term but how you go about realizing your big dream. Think big, think beyond the immediate horizon, and visualize the impact you will have on the world around you when you peak. What you do today must help you leap ahead of the completion. That is the way a leader goes up and leaves the rest of the pack behind. Take the pack along as you go but lead the pack with a promise of glory and join them in toasting the success you envisioned and achieved.

Shape it your way – Furrow your own path. Do not imitate. You must carve out your own destiny and shape it the way you have visualized it. It must be different, unique and special for you. This does not mean that you do something no one has done before. It means that you do it the way a music director comes up with a new tune or music arrangement. It must be music to your ears, colorful in your eyes and pleasing to the heart. The world around must also get to feel the same in their lives and heart.

Try these:

  • Think of the three most important decisions in your life that you have taken. What was the outcome? Were you influenced by anyone to take any or all of these decisions? Which was the toughest decision you took and why was it so hard? Which decision do you ever regret and why?
  • What was the most humiliating or painful experience in your life? How did you feel then and how do you feel now? Do you still carry the hurt with you even now? Have you made peace with that episode yet?
  • Take crayons or paint and explore abstract art. E.g. take a piece of paper and fold it in two. Open the paper and on one side at various places put various colors of wet paint. Then fold the paper and randomly rub it in any direction. Open the paper and see the handiwork. Similarly you can experiment using a couple of strings in the paper then folding the paper and drawing out the strings. The quality of the outcome is less important than the experience and variety of art work you manage thereafter.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Expereince Freedom

13- 6 June 15 FreedomBy and large each individual would like to be unfettered from the expectations of others, have the courage to live their dream and be insulated from the barbs, the criticism, the finger pointing and the ‘I told you so ‘reactions of those around us. We long to be free from the clutches of the pressures of ‘conformity’ that society at large subtly exerts on us. While social norms and personal values remain the guideposts of our life, anything outside this ambit would be seen as a curtailment of our freedom. The reality is that far too often we do not have the daring to challenge these restrictions because we are not self confident, we would like to avoid disagreements and most of all because we tend to take all of forms of feedback personally.

Yes you can enjoy personal freedom when you can bring about a balance between retaining your personal norms and self imposed norms in order to get approval of others. The latter is extremely difficult because as human beings we resent any criticism or negative feedback. Unfortunately we live in a world filled with individuals who are quick to spot and comment on anything that does not confirm to their personal standards. So your hairstyle, dress sense, gestures, choice of words, career choices, friends circle etc. are all constantly under the scanner and since we cannot please everyone we tend to try and please the majority. No sooner we do this we feel losing our dignity, independence and freedom to be what we really are.

To enjoy your freedom and explore all dimensions of your life review the following

Do you always seek approval of others? This can manifest in many ways; be it constantly expecting others to notice your new wardrobe / hairstyle etc. or always seeking permission to do anything off beat or different. You would always be constrained from enjoying and doing what you love because the approval of others is vital for you to feel the joy of being yourself.

Do you succumb to the temptation of being critical? This is reflected in the frequency with which you play spoilt sport or being sarcastic or prone to giving backhanded compliments to others. With such a mindset you would often alienate people and in turn be prone to be constantly at the receiving end of similar jibes from others. Your mind is then either preoccupied with being critical or the fear of being criticized. How can you then experience freedom of mind and body?

Do you hold back, anticipating disapproval? You are fascinated by a new dress/ gadget / holiday plan etc. but stop short of indulging because you are worried about disapproval from others. You are shackled by the chains of approval syndrome.

Are you wary of trying new and different experiences? You want to attend a new play or musical but it is a genre that you have never heard about or know anything about and so you drop the idea. Maybe you want to visit a new restaurant serving oriental food / Greek cuisine / African fare but you immediately get imaginary thoughts about the contents / taste/ presentation /ingredients being so alien to your senses and hence do not go ahead with your initial plans. Your mind is not free of wild imagination running riot.

Do you tend to brood a lot over any criticism or negative feedback? So if someone in authority criticizes your work or a close friend passes a negative comment or if you overhear something negative said and assume it is about you and you are preoccupied rationalizing the comment or justifying to yourself how wrong the others are, you would have already sacrificed your freedom on the altar of perfection.

Do failures or the thought of failure overwhelm you? The real shackles that most people find themselves bound by, is the fear of failure. Once a person fears failure then inevitably they lose the capacity to be independent, experimental, adventurous and original.

Freedom is never about being right it is about being able to march to the tune in your head, the beat that only you hear and walking towards a goal that only you and you alone can see. Don’t ever take things personally be it your own fears, others criticisms or disapproval’s, your doubts or your failures.

Try these:

  1. Make an inventory of the numerous odds and ends lying in your house that you would like to get rid off. Now try to sell these ( garage sale / advertise it / sell it online etc.) and donate the proceeds to charity.
  2.  Jot down the following
  • Name of an individual ( who you interact with regularly) who you loathe.
  • Your worst nightmare / fear.
  • Your one regret in life as on date.

Now for each of the above write down 3 – 5 positive things that you can think of.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com