Category: attitude

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Each of us has a lot to be grateful for. The mere fact that I am writing this and you are reading this means we are alive, we are blessed with the gift of sight, understanding and literacy and fortunately we also have the time and energy to pore over the contents of the blog. Do we really value these blessings or do we take them for granted. Do we focus only on the special things that we get out of the blue like winning a lottery or getting an unexpected bonus or promotion or topping an exam? Fact is that we have much to be grateful for. The little things we take for granted, the wonderful surprises that come our way and for the limited pain and hurt we occasionally endure. The bigger benefit of being grateful for however lies in the fact that practicing gratitude daily fills us with an overpowering sense of bliss, which comes because of the following:

Shift in perspective – For many of us, our natural tendency is to look at the negatives around us. This is partly to do with a primal instinct of self preservation from all dangers. However, over time this tendency to look at negatives has been so deeply ingrained in us, that we fail to notice the wonders around us. Apart from being  the most intelligent of the species in nature, human beings are gifted with abundantly more blessings that will allow one the luxury of drawing in happiness. However, this is possible only when one shifts focus from negatives to positives. By taking in a dose of gratitude each morning, the blessings in life suddenly become more visible, more tangible and more available for each of us to enjoy. It is a drastic shift in perspective triggered by practicing gratitude each day.

Feeling of abundance – One weakness of the human race is the tendency to compare with other human beings; be it our wealth, out looks, our intelligence or what we perceive as social status. No sooner one starts comparing with others, there is an overwhelming feeling of deprivation, of lack of something, of a longing for what others have and the desire and craving for more. What we forget in the process is that we are taking for granted an abundance of blessings we are gifted with. Our abundance is in every sphere; good health for most of us, a loving family life, great friends, adequate or more food, clothing and shelter etc. It is only when one practices gratitude that we begin to consciously pay attention to the abundance each of us has.

Decrease of fear and anxiety – The greatest benefit of practicing gratitude is that with the shift in perspective and the feeling of abundance, there is an immediate decrease of fear and anxiety. We know that our blessings far outweigh our concerns, that life has much more to offer than pure material wealth and that tomorrow is another day that one needs to take in her/ his stride. Each morning becomes a wondrous expectation for the day that unfolds will bring with it plenty of surprises; most of which are pleasant but then a few challenges/ pain will also be part of the day. By viewing things in the correct perspective and knowing that we are amply blessed, practicing gratitude is an extraordinary way of living life in bliss.

Try these:           

  • List out the three greatest blessings that you cherish.
  • What was your greatest emotionally painful moment? How did you cope with it? What was good about that painful moment?
  • Who are the three most important people in your life? The challenge is to restrict yourself to just 3 people. Have you told them how grateful you are for what they mean to you?
  • As I was writing this blog, I received a Wattsapp forward which I thought was apt for sharing with the readers of this post. I am attaching it, as it is, in a Word Document file. There is an Arabic Translation or possibly it is the original source and I have retained it for those who would better connect with it. Click on this link to read it. 18-30 -08 Oct 18- Gratitude_Message_30_08 Oct 18

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Core life skills

Core life skills

In a world that is constantly changing and evolving, the challenges of coping with the changes and the evolving dynamics, are both stressful and laced with apprehension. Yet what does not change and what helps one remain balanced during testing times, are the core beliefs that we should embrace with faith. It is not just the technology that challenges us but more worrisome is the human dynamics that have been cast asunder; the traditional family values, societal norms and the fragility of the bonds between cultures, regions, religions, beliefs and values.  Yet to retain our sanity and remain equanimous  in the face of changes that tend to overwhelm us, all we need to do is focus and implement the core life skills which are:

Calm, but alert – If you see a duck paddling in the water, you would never notice how frantically it is paddling below the water because above the water it looks exceedingly calm and serene. Similarly, in the wild, observe the docile creatures like deer’s and gazelle’s. They remain calm but constantly look around to be alert to any danger lurking in the thickets. They do not visualize trouble in their mind and get anxious but they do anticipate trouble, as they are aware of predators around. We humans tend to absorb negativity and project it in our outlook instead of taking calculated risks with an inbuilt trigger to help us remain safe.

Relaxed, but ready – Observe the great athletes of the world. They know that they are competing against the best and that the results are quite open ended giving everyone a fair chance to win. Yet when they warm up before the event, they are fairly relaxed, prepped up but calm, anxious perhaps but equally excited because they know that it is crunch time. Their training and self belief have got them thus far, it is just their performance that matters. Winning and losing are par for the course and that is why they prepare well and compete hard. They are always ready for the competition. No tensions, no anxieties, no worries.

Smooth, but sharp –A pin, a needle, a nail have a sharp point but the rest of it is sleek and smooth. A football or basketball too is smooth but only when it has the air that sharpens its contours. A cricket and golf ball gets its sharpness when the exterior is hard but it is the smoothness that allows it to roll well. In life you can be smooth by being empathetic, polite, respectful, committed, loyal and honest. At the same time you need to be sharp by being assertive, determined, confident, courageous and focused.

Humble, but confident– Success must breed humility not arrogance. Failure must be seen as a stepping stone to success. When you get success, there is no virtue more important that being humble to keep your grounded. When failure unexpectedly makes its rounds in your life, believe that they temporary hiccups and be confident that you are well prepared to overcome the setbacks. As they say, a Lion never roars after a kill; it never has to announce his accomplishments. At the same time be aware that a Lion is successful only 17-20% of the time it attempts a kill. Yet it is supremely confident that it can succeed the next time around. Your humility must never be seen as your weakness nor must your confidence morph into arrogance.

Try these:           

  • What are your three favorite quotes / proverbs / inspirational sayings / poem’s? Do they reflect any of the above core principles of life?
  • Which of the above 4 principles best represent your nature? Which principle do you think you will find most difficult to implement and why?
  • Can you identify one teacher, one friend, one colleague and one relative who best display most of the above principles in their life?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

First things first

First things first

In life there are times when we know what must be done to rectify a situation but either our ego or the fear of retribution or the anxiety of embarrassment hold us back. Yet, on hindsight, we do realize that the benefits of being first to rectify the situation far outweigh the short term concerns that prevent us from doing what is right. Three of the most classic cases of us suffering more for our procrastination in not taking the right step are as under:

Apologizing – The first to apologize is the bravest –  Our fear of retribution or occasionally our ego  will often over ride our sense of justice and we would often delay offering an apology for a mistake we have made or an injustice (albeit mistakenly ) committed. Yet the moment you decide that an apology is warranted and that too quickly, if you can gather the courage to apologize by  stifling the fear and/ or ego, you will realize that it is the bravest decision that you would have taken. Often it is also a very emotionally fulfilling decision because you would otherwise have to carry the guilt around. Mistakes happen to the best of us; however it is the bravest who can quickly apologize and seek forgiveness for the mistake.

Forgiving – The first to forgive is the strongest. – Our petty mindedness would trigger our ego and forgiving a mistake and accepting an apology would become a very difficult proposition. Unnecessarily we believe that by forgiving we are lowering our prestige or letting another go scot-free. The truth is that it takes a lot of courage to pardon someone who has knowingly or unknowingly hurt or troubled us. If we take an eye for an eye approach we would be carrying a burden of acting differently from what we really are. Instead by forgiving one who seeks forgiveness we would have displayed our moral courage and large heart. Forgiveness is a display of good character, sound values and the courage to do the right thing.

Forgetting – The first to forget is the happiest – If one nurtures a grudge, holds a past hurt to fuel fire to take revenge or allow ourselves to be consumed by rage and anger, it takes a toll on our mental peace, physical health and destroys our personal tranquility. For the hurt you feel, the disappointments you face because of others, the bad times that have overwhelmed you and the nagging need to get even with others, only results in you carrying an unseen burden within. Let go of that burden by forgetting the torments, the tormentors and the past and your heart, mind and body would feel lighter, less burdensome and certainly more relaxed. You will be a man with no worries; the person who is happiest.

Try these:           

  • Think of the time when you apologized for a mistake and you were not forgiven. What could be the reason for the other person not willing to forgive you?
  • What is the hurt/ anger/ guilt that you are still carrying around? Why is it that you are not able to forget the incident or forgive the person who hurt you?
  • If at all you have any painful memories of the past, how have you coped with it? Have you tried forgiving and / or forgetting it or the perpetrators if any ?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Never complain Never explain

Never complain Never explain

Whining and moaning are typical ways in which we try to deflect attention away from ourselves for our failures. When that fails we try to justify, rationalize and/ or offer lame excuses camouflaged as logical reasons for our failures. The unfortunate part is that, whether we complain or we explain, the reality is that we goofed up and that our credibility is at stake. It would take a lot of time, effort and perseverance for us to regain trust of others, get their buy in and hopefully rebuild relationships.

A complain is a poor lament. Complains are akin to laments that seek to put blame on others. It could be people, situations, events all of which imply that the problem is elsewhere and not with the person making the complain. A failure, is a natural phenomena when there are many variables and unpredictable circumstances. However, having the grace to accept failure is praise worthy when it is shorn of any form of complain. Complains are means to deflect attention elsewhere and a decoy to avoid taking responsibility. Complains will never change the reality; it may however show the person making the complain in poor light, possibly seen as having poor grace and definitely looked at as a whiner who shirks responsibility.

Explaining is perilously close to fibbing. A heightened and convoluted method of complaining is explaining. The objective here is to pretend to offer an unbiased and rational logic. The trouble is that it often tells only one side of the story from the tellers point of view. Facts related to other participants in the story may be conveniently ignored, distorted or grossly exaggerated to suit the explanation. Here again the technique is used when the intent is to escape responsibility or to put things in a light more amiable to the person telling it.

Both, a complain and an explanation would have a fair bit of truth but it is the futility of it, when the damage has been done, that makes it most unsuitable. Again a complain or an attempt to explain would also be tinged with or laced with a concoction of convenient facts, possible half truths and occasionally distorted truths. The listener would always receive it with skepticism; analyze it for distortions and make judgments that could be more prejudicial than the real facts.

Try these:           

  1. You have been nominated to organize a picnic. You went about the task meticulously. However, there was a poor turnout for the picnic with quite a few last minute cancellations. The bus in which you had to travel came late, the air-conditioning was not working and it broke down once on the way. The venue of the picnic saw unprecedented crowds and the overall picnic was disappointing.
  • How would you share the picnic experience with a close friend from a different organization?
  • How would you brief your boss who was a last minute drop out?
  • HR writes to you stating that there was strong negative feedback from the participants about the organization of the picnic and seek your feedback on the same.

2. Assume you borrowed a valuable item from a friend.  What will you do when the time comes to return the same and the circumstances are as under:

  • You have lost/ misplaced it
  • You discover that the item has been seriously damaged.
  • You have a strong urge to keep it and not return it because you know it is much more useful to you whereas it will be junked in the friends place.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Fear and Courage – the difference is…

Fear and Courage – the difference is…

As individuals each of us carry a variety of fears and we try our best to keep it secret. At the same time we are we are very proud of some of our courageous deeds and would be ready to share it with any audience. Perhaps we would much more courageous stories to share if we saw fear and courage in the right perspective; fear is a reaction; courage is a decision.

Incidentally, FEAR is also a well know acronym, which when expanded reads as False Evidence Appearing Real (you can read more about it by clicking on the following link http://poweract.blogspot.com/2009/12/fear.html ) Hence almost all our fears are our mental reactions to what we imagine would be dangerous/ disastrous / hurtful / risky for us. At times we have third party evidence to suggest that the risk is real e.g. wild animals mauling humans or people falling off and dying when on a trek etc. What we fail to realize is that risk is omnipresent. Our reactions are impulsive, based on our mind quickly picturing negative images or incidents of happenings and we choose to play safe. It is not to suggest that fears are unwarranted. Fears play an important role in protecting us from danger or taking undue risks. Fear helps us prepare for eventualities like taking insurance, get vaccinations etc. The issue with living in the shadow of fear is our inability to move out of our comfort zone, not creating opportunities to realize our potential and not participating in joys, fun and adventure which is at a shaking hands distance.

Courage is a conscious action. This means it is a planned decision not a mere reaction. It is true that for self protection, there are times when we become courageous more impulsively than as a result of a decision but these are far, few and in between. True courage is daring to face the challenges knowing fully well that there is a whiff of failure, risk and at times even a threat to one’s life. Soldiers are trained to fight but it is their valor and courage that is on display during war. Similarly ordinary mortals like you and me, are often called to take a courageous stand against brute might, unscrupulous elements, cocking a snook at bribe takers and demanding our rights. The courage we display then is not accidental but a conscious, well understood and a moral stand that we decide to follow.  Courage is guts but it is not necessarily followed by glory and it definitely will leave us with less guilt and more self belief.  Courage is standing up for one’s beliefs, being able to withstand a brute majority viewpoint and speaking up one’s mind, standing by those whose cause you espouse despite massive opposition and standing by one’s conviction however unpopular they may be.

Try these:           

  1. List out 3 -5 issues on which you have very different views, as opposed to those who support it. Write a letter to the editor of the local news paper on each of these issues. Write each letter one week apart.
  2. Outline a concrete plan of action to overcome 2-3 of your greatest fears. E.g. fear of prisons or visiting mental institutions or fear of snake/ reptiles. Execute your plan.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

I don’t quit

I don’t quit

Everyone faces problems. Each one has to confront his/ her fears regularly. Worry and stress are as much part of our lives as are happiness and contentment.  However, there is one danger that worry and stress triggers; the danger of giving up; of surrendering; of quitting. At times it is possible that giving up chasing an unrealistic and improbable craze is the right solution. Most times though, we give up simply because we let our stress cloud our judgment, our rational and weaken our ability to stay strong.

Taking deep breathes both figuratively and practically always helps calm nerves. Figuratively, as long as we can breathe, you are alive to make a change/ a difference to your life. Practically speaking, deep breathes help calm nerves, enables one to postpone drastic judgment and gives one time to contemplate the next wise move. The focus must be on finding a solution rather than getting overwhelmed by the challenge on hand. To find a solution, it is important to mull the problem from the prism of possibility and not view it from an imaginary kaleidoscope of despair, hopelessness and impossibility. The possibilities may not be visible immediately and anxiety can be coming in waves that threaten to drown you. Instead you must become like a duck that appears calm on the water but is furiously paddling below. Explore possibilities, take help if required, keep trying and suddenly you will have unraveled the knot that seemed to have tied you up forever.

Coping with stress requires mental toughness. Self belief is the key. Self belief breeds courage, it opens doors to possibilities and unlocks hidden potential. Deep breathing as a technique is a quick and effective way to cope with stress.  With every breath you take the oxygen going in energizes you and with each breathe we expel, the toxicity within gets thrown out. It lays the foundation for one to de-stress. Self belief is the outcome of fine tuning the mind to soak in and absorb all your talents, your capabilities and your deep resolve to confront your troubles and overcome it. Not giving up is the cusp of self belief. It is also the trigger that helps one convert challenges into success.

Try these:

  1. List out three things that you started enthusiastically but then gave up or something you are keen to attempt but have not yet got around to doing it. Your challenge is to pick up at least one of these tasks and get going within the next one week.
  2. Pick up the leisure page of any daily newspaper and attempt any of the activities like puzzles or crosswords and set yourself a deadline to complete it. Repeat daily till you gain a better proficiency.
  3. Read the poem Don’t Quit by clicking on this link http://www.appleseeds.org/dont_quit.htm

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

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No excuses please

18- 02- 14 Jan 18- Quit Making excusesPerhaps you too like many, have made some excellent New Year resolutions. However, like the vast majority, you too could already be feeling the pressure of sticking to the resolutions set. It is quite possible that we have already defaulted on a few already and are feeling a tinge of guilt about it. Our problems stem from our inability to take responsibility and own the challenges that we have set for ourselves. It all starts with us making excuses for any aberration that we are guilty of. We blame circumstances, others around us and occasionally our own ineptitude. We rarely resolve to overcome the circumstances or to ignore those who knowingly or unknowingly derail our plans. Worst of all, we accept our ineptitude as a character flaw that cannot be corrected.

If we simply pay more attention to correcting our personal flaws, the resultant benefits would be mind-boggling. The first step is to stop complaining. Complains are akin to a carpenter blaming his tools instead of working on enhancing his skills. While at times one may face trying circumstances and daunting challenges, these are the times when one has to dig deep into one’s reserves and find that extra something to overcome the challenge.

Worrying, whining and crying are common traits displayed by failures. These are excuses masquerading in varied forms that paralyze an individual from taking some proactive steps.  In reality they do bigger damage in that the individual neither seeks help nor helps himself/ herself and instead they let circumstances dominate their future. Day dreaming is a more pleasurable way of circumventing reality. The pleasure lasts just as long as the dream and then the individual comes crashing down with a real thud. Day dreaming is a passive way to while away one’s time creating an illusion of success to be achieved in the future. Neither success nor the future materialize the way it appears in day dreams.

The way ahead is to be determined, disciplined and dispassionate. Be determined that you are going to achieve your goals / New Year resolution/ targets set. Wake up each morning with the goal in mind. Let the pursuit of the goal never slip out of your mind. Go to bed with thoughts of the progress made towards achieving your goals. Discipline is following the specific steps outlined to attain your goal. No excuses for not following the steps must be your mantra. If required sacrifice other pleasures just to ensure you have the time to follow the steps outlined. To keep nay sayers and critics at bay you need to be dispassionate and not let emotions and fears cloud your goal. Listen to those who have your welfare at heart. Listen to criticism. However, you must learn to ignore what does not suit your plans because only you can visualize the goal and success you have set for yourself.

Try these:

  1. Make a list of the most common excuses you are guilty of making. Your goal is to ensure you eliminate or at least minimize the use of these excuses in the coming days.
  2. Outline three reasons why you have not actively pursued a latent passion. Jot down three action points that will help you pursue your passion starting this coming week. Ensure you don’t use excuses to not begin work on your passion or discontinue it soon after beginning it.
  3. What are the qualities of a person you admire that you will like to adopt? Begin work on imbibing those qualities starting now.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Keep up the good work

40- keep up the good work

We are nearing the end of this calendar year. This is a time when there is a tendency to look back and wonder how well the year gone by has been.  For many people there is a tinge of regret that one has not made the best of the time we were bestowed. We lament the missed opportunities, the strained relationships and our own tardiness in not being self starters and movers and shakers. Yet if we take a pause and focus on just all that we did right, all the successes we have enjoyed and the appreciation we have received, perhaps we would discover that the year gone by has been exceptionally good. We need to focus on the right actions we took, the good we encountered and our blessings rather than on trying to rationalize the negatives in our life.

An important lesson we can learn from appreciating the year gone by is that many of our successes  may not have created waves, nor would they have impacted many people or possibly they looked too trifle. Yet we recollect these moments because they made a difference to us. The reasons we value these moments and cherish it are as under:

  • We did it because we knew it was the right thing to do. E.g. stop our vehicle and help a disabled person cross the street or spend time with a friend facing a crisis or visit a sick person who yearned for some company.
  • We did not aim to please others as much as we did it to align our moral compass to our values. E.g. refusing to succumb to the temptation to copy despite knowing that you could fail in the exam or actively participating in a cause you root for even if it meant retribution from people in authority.
  • We did our best under the circumstances, for we focused on our strengths not our limitations. E.g. Volunteering to help when there is a calamity or Doing the most mundane task assigned because no one else was willing to do it.
  • We would have regretted not doing it then even if the consequences were hard on us subsequently. E.g. Making that extra effort to attend a friend’s wedding and sacrificing your annual visit to your hometown or sacrificing your free time and patiently teaching the neighbor’s kids mathematics because they were weak in it or sacrificing your weekends to help a new colleague settle down in the city.

Carry the spirit of doing what is right into the New Year and you will realize how blessed you are; you don’t need an applause, you don’t require special motivation, you don’t have seek approval and most of all you don’t have to ever regret anything you do.

Try these                                                            

  • Surprise 3- 5 people with an unexpected gift each.
  • Surprise yourself by trying to do something different. Maybe you could trying singing along with a carol singing group or become a Santa at the local departmental store or just experiment with your baking skills.
  • Start writing down your New Year resolutions. Ensure there are at least 2 things that you have never attempted in the past but want to give a serious try in the coming year.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Embrace yourself first…

39- Embrace yourself and be liberatedYour relationship with yourself and thereafter with the world around you, hinges on your ability to embrace yourself completely. Once you learn to accept yourself as you are, warts, moles, dimples,  and more, you will immediately realize that you could not have been created more perfect. At that point when you look around, you will realize that it is not just you, but everyone around   who has been created perfect but most of them have yet to make that one key observation or realization. Once you embrace yourself, three things happen that let you experience freedom from all anxiety, worry and tensions.

You begin to value your blessings – A lot of what you take did not like about yourself will now suddenly begin to feel valuable.  Assume you don’t like your face or your smile or your height or your frame but then when you start loving yourself you will view each of these with love. That is when you will understand that what you are blessed with is what makes you an unique individual, someone special to those around and someone who can with that crooked smile or fat frame still light up the lives of those around.

You stop comparing yourself with others – When you begin to love yourself you are never going to compare yourself with anyone else. You begin to appreciate and value your own personality, your strengths, your abilities and above all your uniqueness. There is no superiority or inferiority complex that will trouble you; there will not be any competition with anyone else other than your own potential and you will value every bouquet and brickbat that comes your way for it is proof of what you have achieved or can achieve.

You realize that you can do much with your life that you have been gifted – Going about daily chores including doing your mandated work is something no one can avoid. A person who embraces himself discovers that in addition he/ she can contribute much more by utilizing his/ her talents, gifts and abilities. It could be giving back to society or it could be through nurturing a latent talent or even a simple act of listening to others and spending time with people who crave for attention. The realization comes because you know that you will be accepted by others as you are and hence you find both the zest and the urge to make the best of your new realization.

It also enables you to fine tune yourself by

Changing your attitude – When you embrace yourself, you become less complaining, less critical, more appreciative, more tolerant and definitely more humane in though words and deeds. Your attitude is more open, liberal and welcoming. You see things from the prism of possibilities and positivity. You seek solutions and avoid excuses.

Believing in your potential – Your self-belief will let you test your limits. Your potential will translate into and practical involvement. You will never limit yourself. Instead you will attempt to discover new facets about yourself. Perhaps there is a latent poet within you; possibly  a passionate adventurer ; maybe a compassionate self yet to be put to the test. You will explore possibilities and your potential.

Gives you the courage to explore beyond – It is when you truly believe in your uniqueness and embrace yourself that you will dare to move beyond your comfort zone. You will take up challenges, be ready to test your limits, pick on a random praise from a well wisher and make it real. You may even take risks that you would never have dared like quitting your job to pursue your passion or giving up urban life to experience rural life.

The possibilities are immense; you have only to believe you are butterfly, love yourself as you are when in the cocoon and then break out of your cocoon. 

Try these

  1. Write a story or make a PPT or a short film of the special moments of your life and how you have journeyed with success so far. You are guaranteed to discover new facets about yourself that remained hidden so far.
  2. Read the poem The Psalm of Life (https://tinyurl.com/yc88ck56 ) by H W Longfellow. Choose one verse which appeals most to you. Analyze how and why it appeals so much to you.
  3. Make a list of 5-9 things that you want to do but haven’t seriously attempted yet. Now put a deadline to each and ensure you manage to give at least 2 of the items in the list a serious try within the next six months.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Two types of pain

33- 10 Sept 17- Two types of painEach of us must have experienced both forms of pain at various points in our life. The pain that hurts us can be physical pain or psychological pain. Physical pain, unless it is a permanent pain, is often forgotten once we are physically healed. The psychological pain on the other hand tends to remain with us for a much longer time, perhaps in some cases even lifelong. The trauma of pain that hurts is now better managed by medication, counseling and therapy, yet the experience often leaves an individual  scarred, bitter at times and definitely wary of going through the agony once again.

The same pain that we experience be it physical or psychological, can be channelized by every individual by using the right attitude and thinking to become a life changing experience. Not just life changing for the individual but also life changing for the people around, the circle of influence we can reach out to. The very essence of pain management is an excellent example of it. It is the result of years of experimentation and research done by individuals who dealt with people in pain and decided to reach out to alleviate the pain of such people. However, although most of us as individuals may not have the technical expertise to do the same, each of us can develop the right attitude and thinking to change our approach to managing our pain as well as the pain of those around us.

Accept what cannot be changed This is the toughest part of managing pain. Embracing the inevitable, making peace with the reality and looking at pain from the prism of positivity would enable an individual to accept the unchangeable faster and more whole heartedly. Death of a loved one, the loss of a limb or a physical transformation due to an accident or having an incurable disease like MND would require the individual to accept the reality that life is altered forever. Once an individual makes peace with this reality, reorienting the thinking is a relatively easier process.

Channelize your pain to transform your life – Be it your pain or you being a part of another’s pain would always impact your life. If a close friend or family member is in any type of pain, it impacts you also. You need to channelize the pain into seeing it as a way to learn some lessons be it reorienting your thinking or being made aware of people who you took for granted as being more dependable or finding your hidden reservoir of strength to mange yourself.

Empathize with those in pain – Be there for people who are in pain. Comfort them by your understanding, presence and patience. Divert their minds to pleasant thoughts, beautiful memories of the past and give them hope. Let them know that you share their suffering and that you would like to share their burden. Understanding the trauma of those in the throes of psychological pain is very tough because we tend to use logic or rationalize it. However, emotions run a lot deeper and they remain simmering within the individual. It is essential that those around try and draw the person out of his/ her trauma, reassure them of getting their life back on track and show them hope in the future. This can dull the pain, the fear and inject in them a strong desire to make a stronger comeback.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional – This is the mantra that each one should adopt and share. Each of us will experience a variety of pain in varying degrees. We need to quickly get to grips with it and try to mitigate it by dwelling less on the suffering and instead focusing on how it is changing you to become stronger, more resilient and helping you discover your inner strength.

Try these

  1. List out 5 activities that give you maximum pain. The challenge is to confront each of them and to jot down the learning from it each time you confronted it.
  2. Attempt one or more of the following:
  • Visit an elderly / lonely neighbor once a week
  • Go to the local hospital and ask the social worker how you can help out
  • You can also visit a hospice or old age home or a home for the challenged
  • Visit a nearby park and notice people who seem alone/ lonely. See if you can strike a conversation with them and bring a smile to their face.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com