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Archive for the ‘Brave’ Category

36-your-real-worth

Physical wealth, be it money and possessions are a good measure to judge how financially secure a person is. It is also a great asset to lead a reasonably good and comfortable life. It is also a good magnet to attract friends and widen one’s social circle. It is also a good inducement to garner support, influence opinion and climb ups the social ladder. However, physical wealth would be a poor indicator of a person’s true worth. This is because wealth can be created, acquired or inherited  but wealth can never buy reputation and good will which has to be earned, respect and recognition which comes from a deep appreciation of the individual in you, your sense of fair play and justice which comes from personal values and your emotional balance and empathy for others which comes from the heart.

We need to examine these a little more in detail to understand an individual’s true worth.

Reputation and goodwill : It take a life time to build a reputation and goodwill. It comes from doing the right things at the right time, avoiding the undesirable and being perceived as someone who is dependable, principled and balanced. It based on the general perception people have of an individual over a long period of time. It is often reflected in the simplicity, humility and achievements of an individual and society’s perception of these qualities.

Respect and Recognition: Respect and recognition comes with age and maturity. How a person has grown personally and professionally would have a large bearing on this. It could also come from the insightful contribution of the individual in his social and professional environment and the positive influence he/ she has had on those around them.

Fair play and justice: Displaying fair play and justice comes largely from being principled and this in turn is largely influenced by one’s upbringing, personal values and courage of conviction. The ability to hold a minority view point, the daring to express a dissenting note and tuning one’s moral compass in the direction of what is the truth.

Emotional balance and empathy: This is tougher to judge for individuals can display a different personality in private and be very different in public. However one cannot keep a quick temper, a giant size ego, a negative aura or a irrational outbursts only in the private space. How one deals with those at your mercy, with those who look up to you for support, those who differ from you in thought word and deed are primary pointers to an individual’s emotional balance and empathy.

When you attend a funeral where there is a large turnout, do you see some of the above points being reflected in that deceased persons life and it being a prominent reason for the large turnout?  Perhaps these are also critical considerations for others who will part with their last penny if ever you seek their help. Therein lies your real worth; what others value you for.

Try these:

  1. List out 5 qualities / values/ traits that you think others really value in you. Jot out a couple of qualities/ values / traits / habits that others criticize you for. What can you do improve upon those criticisms?
  2. What are the few social problems that really irritate and annoy you? What have you done about it? Is there anything more you can do about it?
  3. How will you deal with the following:
  • You answered 6 questions instead of 5 which was the norm. The teacher corrected all the answers and erroneously added the marks of the sixth question to the total as a result of which you passed the exam. Would you bring the error to the teachers notice or ignore it?
  • You are cleaning your cupboard and come across a book you had a borrowed from a college mate five years. When the college mate asked you return the book, since you could not find it, you lied to him/ her that you had returned it. The friend was upset with you since he/she did not recollect you returning the book.  A couple of years have gone by since that incident and you are not in touch with that college mate but you do know in which city he/ she is. Would you pick up courage to return the book and apologize to that friend? Alternatively what would you do?
  • You are on an outstation trip and while walking you stumble upon a wallet containing Rs.15,000. In that wallet you find some torn papers listing out a couple of names of individuals. It also has a dry cleaners bill of a certain city and a tailors bill of another city. The names on both these bills are different. Both the bills do not have any telephone numbers on it. What will you do?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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27-Do you have the scars

Taking the easy way out, is what most of us do when faced with a choice. Yet, our mettle is tested and out abilities judged by how we stood up to be counted when the chips are down. Volunteering in class, for example, is always a tough proposition because there is a very high probability of failing in the assigned task.  Yet, notice that the ones who usually volunteer to answer questions, take on a challenge are often the more brilliant ones or the real daring ones and occasionally an average joe who possibly has a more incisive motive. The rest of us do end up having a hearty laugh or a feeling of awe at the outcome of such daring. What we do not gain though, is the learning from the first hand experience, the opportunity to give ourselves a chance to try something different and display our inner strength no matter what the outcome.

Commitment is an essential trait of all successful people. As they say ‘when the going goes tough the tough get going’. Sharing messages on social media, trolling people, liking and disliking matter posted by others are simple and passive action. The challenge is to put into practice the exhortations in the messages. This means taking the initiative, being prepared to get bruised, being ready to learn from mistakes and giving all one has got. Success is not guaranteed but learning sure is. While failure could be a real possibility it is in the participation and scrimmage that one gains experience.

Daring is another trait of trailblazers. ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’ is another old adage. There is always risk in attempting something new. However, if one has prepared well, you increase the chances of success. Yet, one can never know how much one has learned unless one dares and ventures to attempt and find out. Daring improves your self confidence, expands your own daring zone and most of all gives you bragging rights to say I tried it. While people would often only recall the winners, you would always remember every attempt you made. You will never forget  the lessons you learned, the success you enjoyed along the way and can proudly flaunt the bruises from the attempts to prove that you participated and didn’t stand on the sidelines to clap for others.

Try these:

  1. Make a list of all the things you wanted to do in your life. Make it exhaustive and vivid. Remember that when visualizing, imagining and  dreaming you just let your mind soar, your passion come alive and there are no constraints at all. Now identify 3- 5 of the most passionate dreams you have listed and work out a plan to attain them within a time frame set by you.
  2. In this week you are to do the following:
  • Write a letter to the editor of a newspaper about some social issue that you are passionate about.
  • Make an attempt to overcome some fear you have e.g. holding a snake / donating blood because you fear the prick of a needle / learning a new sport
  • Proactively bring about a positive change in your behavior that others notice and appreciate.
  • Buy 2 surprise gifts and give it to some random person who is least expecting it.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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11- 27 April 15- The challengeSo what are your fears; your apprehensions; your worries; your concerns? Are there issues you keep running away from, in the fond hope that those issues will sort themselves out over time? At times do you suddenly feel panicky, anxious, agitated, terrified, merely thinking about certain matters? If you answer Yes to any of the questions above, the good news is that you are not alone in trying to face your concerns; alas the bad news is that you have to face up to your fears all alone. True you have family and friends who will be supportive and encouraging but your fears are unique to you and it is a challenge to square up to it. Yet if a Helen Keller could lead a happy and productive life despite being born without the faculties of hearing and more critically sight, for most of us, our concerns would never be of that magnitude unless you let your mind imagine it to be of a much more serious nature.

Here is how you can stop running away from your worries and instead turn around and face your anxieties squarely and actually wrestle it down.

Take a fresh look at your problems. This is the toughest part of most problems because when we are fearful we lose focus, lack objectivity and tend to club different issues to imagine a huge problem. This is particularly true with our rocky relationships with others as it is regarding our monetary troubles as also with our work related concerns. Then again when we let our problems overwhelm us we are too terrified to pause and analyze our problem for it is a painful experience and one from which we would rather run away. Most problems exist because we let it remain in our mind and keep rerunning the tape to feel sorry for ourselves rather than to analyze what went wrong and what can be done to undo the damage or make a fresh start.

Work on finding a solution. Most problems are a result of our own casualness, negligence, inability to nip issues in the bud. Of course there are problems that happen suddenly like an accident or a mugging. In both cases, finding a solution should be our priority. However the normal tendency is to apportion blame, rationalize how the problem was not of your making and wallow in self pity. What is broken needs to be fixed, that which is an impediment has to be circumvented and what cannot be changed has to be accepted with grace and with the dignity to walk with your head held high.

Be grateful for your blessings. It is natural for us to magnify our problems and play down our blessings since we take our blessings for granted. Problems get magnified because we get obsessed by it. Our blessings become microscopic because when the going is good we take it as our right and never pay attention to it. It is only when we can put both our problems and our blessings on even keel that we can truly appreciate the enormity of our blessings and then realize that our problems are relatively insignificant in comparison. Ask yourself if your take your abundance of health, wealth and happiness for granted. Look around and see the humongous population around us who are relatively less blessed than us. In comparison to their problems are your problems relatively minor. Do you see them continue to laugh, love and live with hope. So what stops you from doing the same with the same energy and enthusiasm?

Think again. Stop running away and you will come face to face with the demons in your mind and for sure you can stare them down, trample over them, confront them with daring and make them slink away. Don’t let them chase you forever.

Try these:

Imagine yourself to be a perfectly normal human being with one exception; you have no limbs. How terrible would that be? Is that the worst thing that can happen to you and destroy your zest for life? Click on the link to discover how life is what you make it to be. http://tinyurl.com/knu95gl

What will you do if you are told that the rest of your life is just less than a year away? Would you start asking why me? Would you go into depression? Click on this link to realize how one can be appreciative and grateful for all one has been given. http://tinyurl.com/bpesfbf 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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14-17Aug14 -Standing first in lifeMistakes happen and when we realize it, we are often tempted to keep it under wraps. The logic used is that perhaps the mistake will never be noticed. Invariably though, mistakes do get noticed and the consequences are not too pleasant. The worst mistakes are those we make in our relationships. Here invariably we cannot hide the mistake but equally true is the realization that the mistake can strain and possibly break a relationship. It takes a lot of courage therefore, to admit to a mistake and apologize for it. We will be greatly relieved once we admit our mistake and sincerely apologize for it for that is when we discover our inner strength and character which in turn makes us brave enough to own up our fault. The consequences notwithstanding, be the first to admit to a mistake and apologize; for that is when your values and upbringing prop you up and define your personal and moral courage.

If you put yourself in the shoes of someone against whom a mistake has been committed, the natural reaction is to fly into a rage, seek revenge and hold grudges. Assume further that the mistake committed is by someone very close to you then you will definitely be seething with anger. If the other party has been brave enough to admit a mistake and apologize for the same, your character, upbringing and values will be severely tested at this point. How you react will be the defining moment for you. If you are harsh, rude and stubbornly unforgiving, it will belittle your personality. On the other hand if you can keep your rage in check, remain calm and composed when listening to the apology and thereafter magnanimously accept the apology and forgive the wrong doer, it will be testimony to your core values and inner strength.

It is relatively easier to apologize and to forgive, but is almost impossible to forget a hurt or slight suffered. Revenge, ill will and an eye for an eye are the normal dictums that keep buzzing in our mind. Invariably then, it is impossible to get rid of the feeling of hurt and forget the incident that triggered our angst. Unfortunately we do not realize that keeping a hurt alive only gnaws us from the inside; it seethes, it simmers, it is like an acid that corrodes the very container it is stored in. If one can imagine the futility of keep in mind a past hurt it would be easy to forgive and forget. The bad memories once erased offer space for more positive and pleasant thoughts to reside in the recess of the mind. It helps flower within us the seeds of happiness. Count blessings, forget hurts and live happy!

Try this:

Recollect a couple of negative feedback given to you by your

  • Teachers
  • Colleagues
  • Friends
  • Bosses
  • Family
  • Do you think any or most of it were unjustified? Did it help you improve? Do you still carry a hurt or grudge about any of the above persons who gave you a negative feedback?

List out names of 3 people (other than your family members) who have had a deep positive influence on you. Recount at least specific incident that you cherish about your interaction with that person.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in

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Telling the truth may have often resulted in embarrassing situations, perhaps have left painful memories too and may have even triggered anger and fury completely disproportionate to the facts as revealed. Perhaps we may also sly grin at the escapades that we managed by suppressing the truth or outrightly lying. Look back dispassionately and perhaps you may also recall a number of times when the truth was guessed by others who because of their maturity, goodwill and / or need to protect you played along and kept things under wraps. On hindsight more often than not, every time you hid the truth you were left restless, burdened by guilt and with the Damocles sword of being found out looming over your head.

Even today if one were to tell the truth and it is an inconvenient truth, our body language would betray our fear, our quivering voice expose our vulnerability and our feeble attempts at justification would add to our misery. The good part though is that when we speak the truth, our heart is unburdened, the mind is at peace and the consequences seem bearable. Telling the truth is not simply a matter of articulating the reality but it also involves standing up for rights, standing by those wronged, refusing to toe the wrong line and standing up to a brute majority who may intimidate or attempt to cow you down.

The truth is that ‘fear’ is an overwhelming emotion that threatens to derail us telling the truth.  The best antidote for this malaise is the realization that the truth needs no ‘alibi’, it is all pervasive and when shared it shields the reality from being pricked and punctured in any form.  Yes, it is true that it takes a lot of courage to tell the truth and often our quivering voice will expose our human frailty; but the truth when spoken ‘shouts out aloud’ unshackled, unburdened and ubiquitously.

Action Points:

  1. Try playing the card game ‘ Bluff’. Notice how you can catch frequently catch another’s bluff and also how tough it is for you to bluff.
  2. Ask a close family member and an intimate friend to separately list out 5 aspects of your personality that they believe you need to improve upon. When reading the list be aware of the emotions that run through your mind on reading each criticism jotted down by them. How many of the points they mentioned are absolutely true? What and how do you propose to make use of this truth to improve yourself?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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“When you have no choice, mobilize the spirit of courage” Jewish Proverb

When we look around us there are times when we feel dispirited, disheartened and deflated and it just gets worse when there are many others like that around us. We are then left wondering if there is any hope for us and if life has anything meaningful t to offer us. These are times when we wished we didn’t have to go through this painful and apparently hopeless process. No matter who one is, no matter how rich and powerful, no matter how intelligent or smart one is, low points in life will always be a part of living. Death is one low point that is a great leveler and is the one common denominator of sadness, pain and hopelessness that binds all living beings.

The average human being is often commonly plagued by the lows that follow death of a loved one,  fear of failure and worry about the future. Death is a reality that we must make peace with and accept with equanimity. It spares none and can come most unexpectedly. While affection and love will always tug at the heart and trigger emotions of various hues we need to pick up the pieces and get back on track at the earliest. Since human beings cannot remain isolated, unemotional or unaffected one would need to delve into the personal resources of rationale, courage and acceptance which would form the foundation of the spirit of courage that will pull us out of the quagmire of grief.

Fear of failure is omnipresent too. No one can ride on past success for each one of us has to script a new success story everyday. Ironically, the fear of failure is just as prevalent amongst the rich as much as it is prevalent amongst the poor, it is found in equal measure amongst both the brilliant and those who are below average and spares neither the urban population nor the rural folks. Since we cannot insulate ourselves from this fear the next best thing we can do is to ensure that fear of failure does not overwhelm us. Self belief is the key to open the doors of courage. Resilience and hard work provide the steps to the ladder of success.  It also helps to be planned, prepared and persistent for then we would be better equipped to face failure without hurting ourselves too much in the process.

Since the future is the unknown that is both a mystery and an opportunity rather than view it with trepidation, we must look at it in anticipation. View the future like a hand of cards dealt by the dealer when playing a game of bridge or poker. It is only once we have the cards that we can play the game.  Just as we look forward with anticipation eager to know the hidden cards, which if it is a poor hand we fold and wait for the next game, so too must we see each day. Patience, hope and the daring to take calculated risks be it in playing or packing up are the mantras to muster courage and fire up the spirit. Fearing the future is perhaps the most passive and sure fire way to lose ones way in the maze called life. Instead anticipate the changes, prepare for it and plod into it with gusto and presto we discover the truth ‘that life is an adventure to be lived not a mystery to solved.’

Remember:  “Pure logic is the ruin of the spirit.”  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Try this:

  1. Here is a wonderful link to the Video titled the Last Lecture by Randy Pausch http://tinyurl.com/2z3wsx  ( Do you think you can manage something like what he did under similar circumstances? If your answer is yes…go on attempt to write your own epitaph)
  2. Here are a few realities of life. How do you visualize each of them
  • Monthly bills to be paid
  • Some illness in the family
  • Some celebrations that occur
  • An unexpected surprise or shock
  • Retirement
  • Alzheimer’s disease
  • Winning a lottery/ inheritance/ gift/ an award

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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In order to find the edge, you must risk going over the edge. Dennis Dugan

Except for those who have a morbid fascination with the taking risks and walking the tightrope daily, the overwhelming majority is risk averse and prefers to play safe.  Yet in our day to day life many a decision we take has an element of risk associated with it that is inescapable; be it simply crossing the road, eating in a way side eatery or making friends online. However consciously flirting with risk is not really everyone’s cup of tea and the rare times we are forced to take the risks we weigh all the options, try to insurance against the worst case scenario and take a decision with great trepidation.

Yet there are times when the inner urge, the sheer lure of temptation and an inexplicable attraction draws us to experiment with risks. These could be in diverse spheres of life, be it in adventure sports like paragliding or sky diving or it could be risks in taking leveraged positions in the stock markets or even in relationships where the consenting parties are completely incompatible by the yardsticks of this world yet share a strange intimate bonding even though it may be fragile. What is common to these risks is that the danger is real, it is perceptible and yet it is that danger which we are willing to risk that gives the high to those who seek glory, happiness and success.

The circus provides a live and evergreen example of people who find the edge and take the risks. Each act and each performance is fraught with risks despite the fact that the parties are well trained and well equipped. The participants know the risks and yet revel in displaying their risk taking abilities and find ecstasy in the thunderous applause of the audience. In our growing up years, many of us have also taken such risks by not studying enough for the exams and daring to attempt the question papers. Choosing a career too has an element of risk but it is setting up an independent business that really brings one to the edge of the precipice for there are teething troubles, issues with scaling up and getting customers and payments always remain a daily challenge. Yet the sense of freedom to operate, the pride of having established ones self and the possibility of ramping up the operations often give us the daring to take the plunge.

For the modern generation who are brought up on a liberal dose of reality TV, it is these very TV auditions that provide the risk, the reward and also loudly rings the death knell to the ambitions of many a hopeful . Unless one dares to participate one can never knows ones mettle and when one gets rejected and is told the bitter truth of being incompetent or not being good enough one has already gone over the edge and the fall is harsh, hard and heavy. There are other times when someone has to bite the bullet and express the truth in relationships. Initiating a divorce is perhaps one of the toughest chasm that one of the two partners/ spouses has to boldly initiate, which often is much to the chagrin of the other. If both parties are mature the divorce is often by mutual consent and the relationship continues harmoniously despite the relationship having walked along the edge for a long long time.

Remember: “You have to risk going too far to discover just how far you can really go.”  Jim Rohn

Try this:

  1. Watch some of the videos of wild life enthusiasts who take risks photographing and observing the wild animals.  Here is a video link to the antics of the Steve Irwin the Crocodile Man http://tinyurl.com/2ygc32
  2. You will also enjoy this motivational clip ‘Even Eagles need a push’ that emphasizes the need for baby eagles to be pushed over the edge to discover their Eagle Power to soar the skies. http://tinyurl.com/6g3rdyu
  3. Make a list of the riskiest thing you did when
  • You were in school
  • You were in college
  • At your work place
  • When in a relationship
  • When confronted by another powerful adversary (eg. Principal/  boss at work/ burglar etc.)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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