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20- 4 June17 -A great relationship

If you look at the friendships you have made over the many years of your life, what stands out is the fact that you have and equation with your friends which is often very ironical. There are things about your friend that you love and that is the reason for the bonding and yet there are habits/ mannerisms/ behavior / style of your friend that you dislike, possibly abhor and yet you overlook them. Friendships thrive on these differences and how individuals manage to reconcile these juxtapositions holds the key to endearing and enduring relationships.

It is possible that in many relationships it is differences between individuals is what triggers attention to each other but ultimately it is the similarities that bring about a confluence of appreciative emotions. In most cases though, it is the similarities in thought and approach that helps bonding and the respect for differences cements these bonds. Excellent relationships are all about managing these juxtapositions.

Good relationships are cemented stronger if both the appreciation of similarities and the respect for differences are expressed; the former more vigorously the latter more diplomatically. The latter is a tad tougher to express for it always carries a possibility of being misunderstood or being seen as a reproach and hence viewed as an indictment. This can bring about a wedge in relationships and hence has to be expressed very selectively and cautiously.  The differences are accentuated in criticisms, puns, sarcasm and disagreements. Hence it is important to be aware of the potential lethal effects of using any of the above in words or deeds.

Honesty in the relationship ensures there is greater understanding. However, brutal honesty can be damaging. Disagreements and differences of opinion are essential to retain the individuality of the people in a relationship. It is the individuality of the parties in a relationship that makes the communication, the interaction and the engagement in a relationship unique and interesting. The similarities between two individuals is what cements the relationship for there is a commonality of understanding, purpose and respect born out of appreciating the commonalities in each other.

Try these

  1. What are your three strengths that you think your friends appreciate in you? What are your three traits you think others find it hard to reconcile with or do not appreciate in you?
  2. What are the similarities and differences you note in the following people
  • Your siblings / cousins
  • Your three friends at work
  • Your three colleagues with whom you bond easily.
  • Your three best friends
  • Your classmates in school/ college with whom you meet up occasionally

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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14- 10 Jun 15-The real YOUThere is a different prism through which we can see ourselves more clearly; uncomplicated, realistic and honestly. That prism is through the eyes of others who are around you, with who you interact, your colleagues, friends, family and even worthy opponents. They value you not in terms of your wealth, your education or your achievements but seek out the person you really are by stripping of the external trappings and going into your individuality.

This is how your individuality is seen by others and your worth assessed by others.

Kindness = Greatness – Can you stop and help a blind man cross a road? Would you be able to spend time with the aged and infirm who are in institutions. Would you be able to respond charitably to those who may have wronged you? Can you forgive or be magnanimous to acknowledge your fault? There are numerous opportunities to give of yourself and be kind to those who seek your indulgence. Do you seize the opportunities to let them pass by either because you are not inclined to or because you believe someone else will take care of the same? Citations and awards maybe cherished by you and seen as the pinnacle of achievement but it is in giving of yourself that your greatness is brought to the fore.

Modesty =Education and intellect – The college degrees, the merit certificates, the academic performances are just a formal way to acknowledge an individual’s academic performance. To some extent they are also a barometer of a person’s intellect. However, the true worth of one’s education and intellect is reflected in the person’s ability to be humble, modest and graceful to the less equals. Making tall claims, boasting, names dropping, self centered conversations, refusal to respect and appreciate others, running down people etc. are some definite pointers to academics not translating into sound education and appreciable intellect.

Suspicion and prejudices = Ignorance – Insecurity, mistrust, ignorance are negative traits that trigger the mind to be suspicious and prejudiced. The tendency to read too much between the lines, casting aspersions on others, being biased, playing favorites, planting the seeds of doubts etc. are sure signs of a deeper malady of suspicion and prejudice. In reality it reflects one’s ignorance about one’s own competence and also betrays one’s ignorance about the complications and damage that one is inflicting by such behavior.

Consideration and tolerance = Caliber – While personal achievement demonstrate one’s ability, the caliber of an individual goes much beyond personal ability. When an individual can not only perform well but can influence others to give off their best, that is when the real caliber of the individual is on display. Great coaches are a prime example of people with exceptional caliber for they are able to get the best out of their wards. Similarly, team leaders whose teams achieve excellence and retain both the competitive and the team spirit are people with excellent caliber because often they would have to groom people far better than themselves with a healthy dose of encouragement, motivation, firmness and flexibility. Caliber is excellence put to the test and coming up triumphant.

Try these:

  • List out the names of 3 individuals who you have personally interacted with and who you believe are modest people. Pinpoint at least one incident / happening for each individual that made you come to this conclusion about them.
  • Outline 2 of your pet suspicions about others and 2 of your frequent prejudices. Do you have any tangible evidence or proof to harbor such thoughts?
  • Next time you are in a one to one conversation with another individual consciously make it a point to count the number of times you use the word ‘I’ or ‘my’ in your conversation.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »