Category: Count Blessings

Never complain Never explain

Never complain Never explain

Whining and moaning are typical ways in which we try to deflect attention away from ourselves for our failures. When that fails we try to justify, rationalize and/ or offer lame excuses camouflaged as logical reasons for our failures. The unfortunate part is that, whether we complain or we explain, the reality is that we goofed up and that our credibility is at stake. It would take a lot of time, effort and perseverance for us to regain trust of others, get their buy in and hopefully rebuild relationships.

A complain is a poor lament. Complains are akin to laments that seek to put blame on others. It could be people, situations, events all of which imply that the problem is elsewhere and not with the person making the complain. A failure, is a natural phenomena when there are many variables and unpredictable circumstances. However, having the grace to accept failure is praise worthy when it is shorn of any form of complain. Complains are means to deflect attention elsewhere and a decoy to avoid taking responsibility. Complains will never change the reality; it may however show the person making the complain in poor light, possibly seen as having poor grace and definitely looked at as a whiner who shirks responsibility.

Explaining is perilously close to fibbing. A heightened and convoluted method of complaining is explaining. The objective here is to pretend to offer an unbiased and rational logic. The trouble is that it often tells only one side of the story from the tellers point of view. Facts related to other participants in the story may be conveniently ignored, distorted or grossly exaggerated to suit the explanation. Here again the technique is used when the intent is to escape responsibility or to put things in a light more amiable to the person telling it.

Both, a complain and an explanation would have a fair bit of truth but it is the futility of it, when the damage has been done, that makes it most unsuitable. Again a complain or an attempt to explain would also be tinged with or laced with a concoction of convenient facts, possible half truths and occasionally distorted truths. The listener would always receive it with skepticism; analyze it for distortions and make judgments that could be more prejudicial than the real facts.

Try these:           

  1. You have been nominated to organize a picnic. You went about the task meticulously. However, there was a poor turnout for the picnic with quite a few last minute cancellations. The bus in which you had to travel came late, the air-conditioning was not working and it broke down once on the way. The venue of the picnic saw unprecedented crowds and the overall picnic was disappointing.
  • How would you share the picnic experience with a close friend from a different organization?
  • How would you brief your boss who was a last minute drop out?
  • HR writes to you stating that there was strong negative feedback from the participants about the organization of the picnic and seek your feedback on the same.

2. Assume you borrowed a valuable item from a friend.  What will you do when the time comes to return the same and the circumstances are as under:

  • You have lost/ misplaced it
  • You discover that the item has been seriously damaged.
  • You have a strong urge to keep it and not return it because you know it is much more useful to you whereas it will be junked in the friends place.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Happiness Diet

Happiness Diet

If you ask anyone what he/she seeks in life, you will realize that everything boils down to being happy. Hence today’s post is on a simple diet to remain happy every day, every hour, every moment. Like any specified diet for any illness there is a list of prohibited items and a list of recommended items. Also included are two tablets to be ingested morning and night. Follow it and remain happy always.

Prohibited items so as ensure you remain happy:

Complaints – Out biggest weakness is our tendency to find fault, to complaint and to crib instead of appreciating the efforts put in by others or alternatively doing our bit to set things right. Complaints may draw attention, it may help us offload our anger but invariably it affects us negatively.

Bad moods and resentment – Both these largely go hand in hand. We allow ourselves to let minor things affect our feelings and moods and thereby imbibe negativity within us. At times we simply resent certain people or situations because you are either jealous, envious or dislike the person or situation.

Living in the past The good old days is a lament of the older people. Fact is each of us getting older by the minute and it won’t be long before each of us also lives in the past and longingly recalls the good old days. The past is gone so recalling it may be nostalgic but would not do much good for our current living. Adapt to the changes around and live life the way it is today.

Avoid negative people – The whiners, the critics, the angry and resentful people, those who are constantly finding fault. The list goes on. Avoid or atleast minimize contact with anyone and everyone who largely displays these negative traits. They will negatively influence your thinking and slowly you will be seeing the world from their perspective.  A dark, gloomy and hopeless future never helps anyone feel happy.

Compulsory items to ensure you remain happy.

Laughter – The most visible sign of happiness is laughter. Hence it is essential that we find ways and means to enjoy a good laugh. Fortunately for people of the current period, Wattsapp provides ample laughter through various forwards one receives. Unfortunately the same medium also gives much more disturbing and often unverified inputs that confuses, creates fear and gets people worried. Hence one needs to find alternatives to ensure you get a daily dose of laughter. It could be in cartoons in the newspapers, jokes in magazines or finding real life humorous situations. There are also laughter clubs mushrooming and that is another alternative to begin the day well. Learning to poke of one’s own self is also a good way to find laughter from within. However, be careful not to evoke laugher at the expense of others or by being sarcastic, making caustic comments or insensitive observations.

Hugs & Kisses – Touch is a very important aspect of life that is often underutilized largely because of cultural taboos. In the current scenarios where bad touch has gained notoriety touch as a source of happiness has to be very carefully utilized. Touch is most evident in hugs and kisses especially when people are travelling afar. However, other touch elements could include an appreciation through a pat on the back and empathy through a squeeze on the shoulders. Families bond a lot through hugs and kisses and happiness is alive and visible then.

Living the moment – being alive.- One common problem that confronts people is that they are often reminiscing about the past or making grandiose plans for the future. What they miss out on is the reality that they have to live for today and must focus on making today something special. So they need to enjoy the moment, relish the challenges, face the upheavals stoically and smile through the niggles and giggles that they will encounter each day. It is by living each moment with awareness, with passion and with integrity that one comes alive fully. End of day, there will be no tears or regrets; just contentment and a smile on the face and joy in the heart.

It also helps if each morning we begin with a broad smile that reflects a positive attitude. We can go to bed in peace if we reflect on the day and be grateful for all the wonders it has offered. These two pills taken each day at day break and sundown would ensure a perfect happiness ECG for every individual.

Try these:

  1. List out 5 most invaluable items in your possession. Can you donate/ sacrifice any one or more of these items and still remain contented?
  2. What positives would you see in the following situations?
  • You have failed in an exam by one mark
  • You have misplaced your wallet containing substantial money and your credit cards.
  • You have been bitten by a stray dog.
  • You have been passed over for a promotion and worse still your bitter rival at work gets a double promotion.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Create your own rainbow

24- 8 Jul 17- Create your own rainbowWith the monsoons already arriving, most days seem like Monday’s; dull, gloomy and too tempting to laze around in bed. Yet, it is time to get up and get going and the process is just a tad too boring and uninspiring. Just as the wonders of the rainbow appear in the monsoon, await the rainbow each day and there would perhaps also be a pot of gold at the end of it to lure you to energetically look forward to each day.

Look for things that brighten the day – it could be the chirping of the birds, the sunlight that is streaming in, the laughter of children playing, the pealing of the temple and/or church bells. The key is to look for things that make you happy, contented and peaceful. It is a proactive responsibility that you must take on in order to change your own world.

See the variety of positives that you are blessed with – Make a conscious effort to over look  the hurt, the pain, the sadness of the past and instead focus on the blessings you have been bestowed. Good health tops the list, financial security, a loving world of family and friends, the comfort of a blessed home perhaps and a secure job too maybe.

Smile, forgive, listen, appreciate, thank – This is such an easy formula to memorize; a tough one to put in practice but the easiest to embrace once you have consciously adopted it. Each of it helps you exhale the toxic within and inhale the pure clean emotions.

Embrace love, laughter, hope and faith – Just as a good diet and exercise is a choice you make, add a heap full of love, a ton of laughter, perennial hope and unwavering faith to your daily mantra. You will find yourself empowered, optimistic and energetic to make your presence felt in the world and to make a positive difference around you.

Spend time with family, nature, self – Since we are social animals, we need to connect with other,  the world around and with ourselves. Spend time with family and friends. Spread good cheer and goodwill amongst them. They would seek to spend more time with you. Nature helps us embrace the spectrum of life; the flora and fauna, the sheer variety of wildlife and the beauty of the hills and valleys, the rivers and the seas, the changing seasons. Spend time thinking, reflecting and connecting to inner self. Never forget you are world yourself; filled with emotions, thoughts, feelings and passion.

Find silence despite the noise, find order despite the chaos and discover peace within despite the turbulence around –  Life is full of noise, chaos and turbulence. In our journey through life, we must be able to filter out and choose everything that would make our journey more pleasant, comfortable and enjoyable. Learn to enjoy silence; then you will master the art of finding it despite the noise around. Like getting through a maze, look hard at the chaos around; anger, frustration, hurt are some  feelings that you need to get past before you get out of the maze and reach peace, tranquility and bliss.

Look back with fondness, look forward with hope and be awake in the present Every day there must be something pleasant to reminiscence about, a goal set to give meaning and purpose to each day and one must make each moment count by being mentally and physically alert and active.

Notice how you have created a beautiful rainbow for yourself. The success, satisfaction, happiness, contentment and the peace that you get is the pot full of gold at the end of your rainbow.

Try these

  • List out 3- 5 colors that you like.  Look around you and for each color you chose, write down at least 2 objects having that color. Did you notice the color of those objects earlier. Do you notice the rainbow of colors around you?
  • Sit with your eyes closed for 5 minutes. Identify the various noises around you. Also imagine the aroma of your favorite food. Can you feel the rainbow of myriad sounds and aroma that you normally take for granted.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The hues of life

41-the-hues-of-lifeAs we enter the last couple of weeks of the year, it is an ideal time to look back on the year gone by. Perhaps many a day was mundane, quite a few days could reflect pain especially when we reminisce about a loved one who has departed but look again and most days would have been actually joyous for never a day must have gone by without some laughter. That we are alive to read this is a blessing, that we have the eyesight to read is a blessing , that we are blessed with riches and resources is a precious gift denied to many; oh just look around and you will realize you are blessed beyond imagination.

The tapestry of our life mimics the changing seasons; there are the monsoons, the winters, the spring and the summers. Individually we all have our preferences for the season we like best and the season we dislike; yet we value each season for it is essential for our survival. The seasons also influence the environment around and bring us the varied joys that nature has blessed us with. True when the season is at the extreme it brings with it pain, suffering, destruction and disruption but from that chaos we have only grown bigger, better and stronger. Look back on the year as well the years gone by and you will recollect with fondness how every event has helped shape you to be the individual you are.

This is a time for thanks and this is a time for hope.

We must be thankful for not just the blessings but many a time, it is the pain that helped us become stronger. We need to be thankful for the people who hurt us;  because of them when we realize the value of the people who stand by us and those we love. We need to be grateful for the times when we fell and bruised our self, for that is when we understood how strong we are. If we had not failed, we would not appreciate the value of getting things right and if we had not occasionally lost our temper, we would never know our limitations. We may not be proud of the vain things we did but for sure it taught us that we have a mean streak in us. We hate those who criticized us and gossiped about us but certainly if we pause and reflect we must thank them for opening our eyes to our own faults. Most of all we must be thankful for the love we are blessed with; family, friends, colleagues and strangers who in varied ways stepped up when we needed them the most.

As we round of the year, it is wonderful time to look forward in hope. It is that time of the year when we jot down our New Year Resolutions. Yes a large part of the list must be carry forwards from the year just ending, but now we can hope to begin anew and succeed. Oh yes, we have new dreams that we need to realize during the coming year and we have the faith and hope that we can attain it in the coming year/s. We have hope for our loved ones to discover their own individuality, chalk out their own paths and make a smooth transition towards their destiny. We hope that the world would change for the better and that we would be part of that transformation. Most of all we must hope to play an important part in contributing to that hope through our thoughts, words and deeds. Unless we have hope, we will never have the courage to ‘stand up and be counted’.

Try these:

  1. Begin with making your New Year Resolution list. You have still have 3 weeks to reflect and update it but you need to start now.
  2. List out 2 things that you will do in the coming year that will enable you to :
  • Improve you as an individual
  • Make you involved in your favorite social cause
  • To expand your social / friends circle
  • Surprise your family
  • Change a bad habit that you are often criticized for
  • Improve your financial health
  • Ignite a latent talent or indulge in a latent passion
  • Connect with a long lost friend/ relative

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Giving meaning to your life.

30-the-meaning-of-lifeAt some point in time, if not most of the time, each of us grapples with the question ‘What is the meaning of my life?’ Our problem is often the result of our inability to cope with either abundance of riches, ideas, options or because all these are in terrible short supply in our life.  Some of us struggle with the chaos in our life brought about by our fear of the future, the ghost of the past and the challenges of the present. Each of us also suffer, in varying degrees, from the seven deadly vices of sloth, gluttony, pride, envy, wrath, lust and greed which makes our life miserable and reignites the question ‘What is the meaning of our life?

The answer to this philosophical question actually lies in answering another more meaningful question ‘How do I give meaning to my life?’  The key word is the emphasis on the word MY LIFE! Yes I am sure my of existing life; the previous life is immaterial now and the afterlife, if such a thing exists, is a long way away. Once you decide that you and only you can lead your life, giving meaning to it becomes relatively simple. You choose, you live, you make life happen!

To give meaning to your life focus on the following:

Your thoughts – Everything you do starts in your mind. You need to train your mind to think with purpose, think rationally, be imaginative and to think positive. Since our thoughts determine our words and actions, pay attention to those triggers that make us emotional, get us worked up, make us irrational and those that plant a seed of doubt in our mind. Once you become aware of such negative thoughts, it becomes possible albeit difficult to rein in such thoughts and counter them with more positive and energizing thoughts. Every day will bring with it, its share of joys, concerns, opportunities and challenges. We often tend to discount or ignore the joys and opportunities and instead focus on the concerns and challenges that we face. Slowly our mind begins to wither away since it is now trained only to look out for trouble. Instead, if you count your blessings each day, the wonders that you have been gifted with and the chances that you get to move ahead in life all other troubles will seem to be insignificant in comparison. Start each day with a grateful heart; end each day with thanks for another good day. Whatever happens in between will then be something you can cope with, for by overcoming it is what makes your day, something to cherish and feel happy about.

Your words – Your thoughts have a large influence in how your thoughts, feelings and emotions are articulated and expressed. If you see challenges as opportunities to prove your mettle, you will look forward to it and express yourself with confidence, eagerness and excitement. On the other hand if you view it as an unavoidable task, you will start expressing your doubts, your concerns, find excuses for failure that you anticipate. Ask yourself what type of person you would like to deal with. The tone, tenor, style and choice of words would also reflect your mindset and attitude towards a task and your belief system. Be aware that sarcasm, insinuations, blame game and negativity in your communication often indicate your insecurity, your weakness and your inability to cope with stress. Practice the art of expressing yourself in a positive way; consider the recipient of your communication as a partner in your work, an ally who wants you to succeed and someone who believes in your abilities. The same feelings will percolate into your mindset and before long you would succeed in seeing positive life changing meaning in your daily life.

Your deeds – It is said that the ‘proof of the pudding is in the eating’. Ultimately your thoughts and words must be reflected in the actions you perform. Giving platitudes and sermons is relatively easy; traversing that path is definitely much more difficult. A simple act of listening carefully could sometimes be extremely difficult because you have strong negative emotions about the other party and / or the situation. Your deeds are not merely what you do, but how you do it. Do you bang the door when you leaving your bosses cabin after a stormy meeting? Do you do an unpleasant task with grace? How do you deal with a cranky elder at home? Do you constantly nag your spouse and/ or children? Can you maintain a cheerful countenance even during a very stressful situation? Remember that Actions speak louder than words!

Try these:

  1. Volunteer to baby sit a child who is between the ages of 3-5. If the child is hyperactive or challenged, you would learn a lot more from the experience about your own temperament, patience, creativity, attitude and self belief.
  2. Spend one evening every month in an orphanage / old age home / hospice / home for the challenged. What feelings did you experience? Ask yourself what can you do on your own to make life more comfortable there.
  3. List out the names of 5 people with whom you have difficulty in getting along. Now choose one of them and make a determined effort to be genuinely nice to them for an extended period of time. Did it bring about a positive change in you and the other person? Do you think you were being unfair to judge the other person wrongly? Do you think you can try this experiment with other people on your list?
  4. Make a list of all the negative words / phrases / excuses / tone / foul language that you often resort to, especially when annoyed/ irritated / confused/ frustrated. Can you make a determined effort to eliminate these and substitute them with some positive reinforcements?  Can you feel a change in yourself after adopting a positive approach?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Accept then Act

13- Accept then act

We find ourselves ineffective, fearful, tardy and complaining whenever we have to engage in an activity that we dislike, loathe or despise. Most times, the same feelings also preoccupy us when we have to do repetitive, boring and menial jobs. The reality is that every individual would have to necessarily put up with a variety of tasks, that fall into one or more of the above activities that are  disenchanting and boring. Take any job; repetition and boredom are inbuilt into it because that is the very nature of life. Even in the animal kingdom, preying, hunting, procreation, protecting the young ones and survival is the cycle that is ordained for every specie.  However the human race alone, sees their life cycle as a herculean task and a challenge. Ironically, this is because we are blessed with a very high degree of imagination, thinking powers and creativity which unfortunately we do not utilize well. Instead we prefer to distort the reality imaginatively enough to merely wallow in self pity. Life would be much more engaging, interesting and fun filled if we were to first accept the reality and then proactively engage with it.

To ensure that every day is a new day filled with opportunities and hope, look at life differently. Here is how one does it

Feel blessed to be alive to enjoy the day – Every living moment is a blessing. Once you make this realization you would value each moment. Your fears and frustrations will disappear once you realize that you are here for a purpose and that you are given the opportunity to contribute and succeed by being alive. So many die young never fulfilling their promise nor experiencing the joy of fulfillment.  Others die old, yet without having made a difference in their lives or in the life of others. Each day you are alive is a blessing; each moment an opportunity and every action you take can be made meaningful.

Be happy that you have something concrete to do – Even the jobless have a task of finding a suitable employment. Those having a job have something to look forward to every day. It is possible that the vast majority of us are often disillusioned with their jobs, they are striving to do something more meaningful and rewarding. Yet the fact that there is something to engage you, is itself a blessing denied to many. Once we this realization is made, the present situation looks a lot more promising, fulfilling and rewarding. Many of those looking for a job fail to land one largely because of their own limited vision, partly because of their inability to identify and discern alternative opportunities and partly because of their inability to accept their reality that they are often striving for something  they don’t deserve. If they accept their reality they would alter their thinking and redirect their efforts to more realistic alternatives.

Be aware that no task is menial; visualize yourself as an important cog – In most work places, the clerical staff are missed most when absent. They are also the most lowly paid, Does this not look abnormal. The reality is that the clerical staff may not be doing a job that significantly influences the business but they certainly are critical to the daily functioning at the work place. However, although their influence is significant, their presence is not recognized till they are absent. Their role is  vital for smooth functioning on a day to day basis even though they do not have any long term strategically critical influence. When we analyze our own role there are times when we too will feel insignificant. Does it in anyway reduce or marginalize our role? In any committee there would be limited number of people holding office bearers position but it is the rest of the committee that gives direction and legitimacy to the office bearers. In any team there can be just one captain but each member is equally important to ensure the team does well.

Focus on doing the job well enough to make you proud – One reason we see ourselves as insignificant and unimportant is because we do not visualize ourselves as playing any significant role in life. It is important that we realize that every role that we play be it as a child, a parent, an employee or a retired individual has its own importance in influencing the world around. You set an example, you show the way, you guide by using your experience, you motivate with encouragement and you certainly are a glue to family and social ties. Once you perceive the importance of the role you play, you will accept it with open arms and then act decisively to ensure you play your part well.

Aim to improve, grow and rise in whatever your calling – Time takes a toll on every individual; it slows down reflexes, there could be health issues or it could be merely confusion about what to do next. Yet time does not take away your ability to contribute in whatever manner one can. With every passing day, we are enriched by our interactions, our experiences, our failures and our successes. We also learn each day and we can also share each day the knowledge we posses, utilize the experience we have gained and actively participate in a calling of our choice. This gets momentum once we accept the reality that we may not be as effective as we once were but there is nothing to stop us gamely contributing.

Experience the joy of a task well done – The motivation that drives individuals to contribute despite the boredom, the humdrum of everyday monotony and the repetitive nature of the work is the elation we get that we have done a good job. It is essential that we experience this joy, soak in the pleasure of doing an excellent job and seek motivation in continuing to script success daily. So age will not be a bar, health would not be an impediment, the extent of your contribution would not be a dampener for you have accepted the reality and have chosen to act to the best of your abilities. You derive pleasure from participation, contribution and

Try these:

Make a list of at least 3-5 things you want to do because you are passionate about it. It is possible that some of the items on the list seem farfetched to achieve because of your current  physical, financial or academic limitations. Perhaps they seem farfetched because you have not really sat down to think and study it at length. Pick one activity out of that list and begin earnestly to get some tangible outcome. E.g. You want to be a magician. Find out about magic schools in your city teaching the art. Go to a library and find out books that teach you magic tricks. Ask friends and relatives about magicians who could teach you the art. Begin by mastering card tricks. Look up other resources on the net to get more inputs. Practice and master a few tricks and try it on your friends and family. Learn from the feedback.

Take inspiration from the following video’s of people who Accepted their reality and then acted to make the best use of their abilities. Click on the links to view.

http://tinyurl.com/hsueztl – Inspiration from Nick Vujicic

http://tinyurl.com/bpesfbf – Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

Read the inspirational article by paraplegic M.P.Anil Kumar by clicking on the following link

http://tinyurl.com/gmr2maq   

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Evolving through a cocoon of positivity

5 - Positive evolutionEvery event, be it of the past, the current or the imagined future, influences our thinking, attitude, behavior and responses. Those events from the past that have scarred us, those that we do not like in the present and those that we fear in the future keep impacting us negatively. These tend to largely overshadow the blessings of the past, the wonders of the present and the opportunities of the future. It is therefore essential that we learn to reorient our thinking, start seeing the past present and future through a filter of positivity if we are to make our life more fun, more meaningful and more productive.

Be grateful for the past – If one were to dispassionately evaluate the past, for most of us it would become obvious that barring a few stray awkward, embarrassing, challenging and painful incidents life had been fun filled, happy and enjoyable. Yet we tend to largely focus on what has not gone right overlooking the more significant, satisfactory and fulfilling parts of our journey thus far. Of course the failures, the hurt and the pain of the past cannot be brushed aside but focus on the lessons learned from it. Focus on the transformation that took place because of it and made you a better person. If you still carry the baggage of the hurt of the past, it is a good time to offload it today. Relook the past with an eye to refresh, recollect and reflect on the blessings of the past; the wonderful childhood you have had, the loving care of the family around, the friends and relationships you have built up over the years, the success your were cheered for, the memories that you can forever cherish. If one uses that as the fulcrum of the past life, the present would also be seen in the same perspective provided one makes that effort.

Be engaged in the present – One common aberration in our daily living is the habit of lapsing into the ‘Good old days’ syndrome. The opposite extreme is to find fault with everything that does not happen the way we want it or the way we expect it to be. The present is where we are living and if we can see it as a wonderful place and time to be in, one can experience the joys that abound everywhere and all around us. Mechanization for instance has made our life a lot easier but do we value it? Communication technology has ensured we can be in touch instantaneously and with numerous people; yet do you feel lonely? Transportation revolution has made movement faster, cheaper and more pleasurable but do we keep cribbing about the costs, the lines at the airports, the railways stations and the bus stops? Disposables have become the order of the day saving time and effort yet we see the mountain of trash to which we also contribute conveniently overlooking our own part in it. The present has to be embraced with pragmatism. You may not be able to change what is happening around but one can surely appreciate the good, influence the ills by being sensitive and caring ( use less disposables / be more orderly in queues / cut down on indiscriminate usage of mobiles and internet etc.) but most importantly be involved in the moment. Don’t let the present fly past without it having improved you as an individual.

Be enchanted by the future – The future is a haze and that is precisely why we are wary of it. Strictly speaking if we can appreciate the wonders of our past, see the positive side of the present we must able to look forward to exciting times in the future. However, the future holds an undeniable reality; death. This unfortunately is a scary thought for the overwhelming majority and while we may never consciously reflect on it, subconsciously we are always hoping to prolong life be it our own or those of our loved ones. What adds confusion and apprehension when thinking of the future is the fear that the future may not be as serene as the past and the present. We worry about paying bills, hospitalization, relationships, old age, loss of income, loneliness and ofcourse death. These are all realities but a fair bit of timely planning and mental preparation to cope with these realities would ease our concerns and surely help one prepare to embrace the future. The first step to such preparation is not mentally running away from our fears. How many of those reading this post have prepared a will? How many of us have got our retirement plans chalked out? How many have saved for a rainy day? These can be done only if one is prepared to be realistic and give the future a more concrete shape rather than blindly walking into a hazy sunset. The sunset is surely the beginning of the night but when on an outing don’t we eagerly wait to see the glorious sunset and ensure we are the right place at the right time to enjoy it. See the future as a wonderful sunset and do what needs to be done to enjoy it!

Try this:

  1. Jot down 3 to 5 most wonderful memories from the past. Visualize the situation and the persons involved and revel in the blessings they were for you.
  2. What are the 3 significant contributions that you can make to ensure that the world around you is a better place? So have you started on it ?
  3. Make a list of the following
  • How much money do you think will suffice to ensure you have a comfortable retired life assuming you live till 90
  • What are the 3 things you will do to ensure that you are productively and happily engaged after retirement?
  • What are the 5 most important things you will want to incorporate in your will?
  • Make a list of surprise gifts that you will send this year to at least 3 of the above listed friends.
  • List 10 friends who you can count on to give you support and courage should you be in any trouble in the future.
  • Write down an epitaph for yourself that would best describe you / your life.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

A note to myself

2- 10 Jan 16 A note to myselfThe beginning of the year is a an excellent time to write a note to one’s own self as a reminder of how one can pace one’s life by following some key tips. The tips are meant to guide, to inspire, to motivate and to energize one to making this year more inspiring, more productive and most importantly, most fulfilling. These tips condense the wisdom of the ages. They are only illustrative but they are enlightening and pragmatic.

Promise to treasure your time. – Life could be unfair to each one of us except for the one factor that beggar and king, poor or rich, intelligent or stupid, we are all given in equal measure TIME. Lack of time therefore can never ever be an excuse for failure. It is waste of time, inefficient use of time and not valuing time which are the real culprits for our non performance or lack of achievement. Let my focus this year be on making the best use of the precious time gifted to me!

Don’t fall in love with potential.– Look deep and you will find that you are blessed with many talents and enormous potential. The trouble is we tend to envy the potential in others that we do not posses. Worse still is the fact that we do not make any serious attempt to either discover our potential or even if know our potential squander it by our lethargic behavior, our indifferent attitude or by simply waiting for the opportune moment. Potential is like a matchstick in a matchbox; available to light things but latent if never used.

You want something doesn’t mean you deserve it – We make numerous excuses for not realizing our goals or utilizing our potential fully. The excuses largely centre around our lament that we didn’t get the right tools or the right opportunity. The reality is that even a person born with a silver spoon has to cope with his/ her limitations, create the opportunities, expend energies and work hard to make their mark in the world. Wanting something desperately is wishful thinking; working on getting it is the first step to realizing ones goals and utilizing one’s potential to the full.

Be patient but don’t procrastinate. – Waiting for the right moment is the bane of productive action. Inertia often masquerades itself as being patient. Instead of seizing the moment, which is the quality of highly successful people, those who procrastinate in the fond hope of getting the right opportunity find themselves either not starting or getting beaten at the post. Never get into a situation where you suffer from an illness called ‘paralysis by analysis’.

Be hopeful but not naive – Hope is good rock to build a foundation on. However, hope should not be used as a crutch to rationalize personal inertia, getting lured into quick rich schemes, getting duped into by glib talkers and not being decisive enough and cutting losses. When you are naïve, your belief is shallow, your confidence wavering, your dependence on others overwhelming and your judgment very faulty. When you have hope you seek a way out, you create the opportunity and you prepare yourself to grasp the chance for you are sure it is coming sooner than later.

When it is right you will know it. – When in a dilemma making a choice is tough. Yet if you are brought up with the right values, cherish the principles of being an upright person and let your conscience be your guide your choices will never go wrong. You will never feel guilty, you would be emboldened to act decisively and the consequences of your action will never give you sleepless nights. A clear conscience is the best pillow.

You don’t have to force it. – If you are denied something, perhaps it is for the best. If you are bestowed with an unexpected blessing, perhaps you richly deserved it. Whatever the gift, whatever the outcome, whatever be your feelings see it as befitting the moment. It is when we become rigid in our expectations that we try to influence the outcome and then get disturbed when the outcomes belie our expectations. Strive to improve your future but don’t try to shape the future by force.

Try this:

  1. Your friends force you to go with them for a trek. You go very reluctantly since you are not feeling too well and also because you do not like treks. Half way to the trek you twist your ankle. The pain is intense and you are annoyed and frustrated. The majority of your friends ask you sit there while they complete the climb. Two members of the group stay with you while the rest continue the trek. What will you be discussing with those waiting with you.
  2. List out the following
  • Your favorite quote or proverb
  • Your favorite book
  • Your favorite movie
  • Your favorite personality from history

Is there a common thread that binds the above choices? Can you identify that thread?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The challenge is to turn around and…

11- 27 April 15- The challengeSo what are your fears; your apprehensions; your worries; your concerns? Are there issues you keep running away from, in the fond hope that those issues will sort themselves out over time? At times do you suddenly feel panicky, anxious, agitated, terrified, merely thinking about certain matters? If you answer Yes to any of the questions above, the good news is that you are not alone in trying to face your concerns; alas the bad news is that you have to face up to your fears all alone. True you have family and friends who will be supportive and encouraging but your fears are unique to you and it is a challenge to square up to it. Yet if a Helen Keller could lead a happy and productive life despite being born without the faculties of hearing and more critically sight, for most of us, our concerns would never be of that magnitude unless you let your mind imagine it to be of a much more serious nature.

Here is how you can stop running away from your worries and instead turn around and face your anxieties squarely and actually wrestle it down.

Take a fresh look at your problems. This is the toughest part of most problems because when we are fearful we lose focus, lack objectivity and tend to club different issues to imagine a huge problem. This is particularly true with our rocky relationships with others as it is regarding our monetary troubles as also with our work related concerns. Then again when we let our problems overwhelm us we are too terrified to pause and analyze our problem for it is a painful experience and one from which we would rather run away. Most problems exist because we let it remain in our mind and keep rerunning the tape to feel sorry for ourselves rather than to analyze what went wrong and what can be done to undo the damage or make a fresh start.

Work on finding a solution. Most problems are a result of our own casualness, negligence, inability to nip issues in the bud. Of course there are problems that happen suddenly like an accident or a mugging. In both cases, finding a solution should be our priority. However the normal tendency is to apportion blame, rationalize how the problem was not of your making and wallow in self pity. What is broken needs to be fixed, that which is an impediment has to be circumvented and what cannot be changed has to be accepted with grace and with the dignity to walk with your head held high.

Be grateful for your blessings. It is natural for us to magnify our problems and play down our blessings since we take our blessings for granted. Problems get magnified because we get obsessed by it. Our blessings become microscopic because when the going is good we take it as our right and never pay attention to it. It is only when we can put both our problems and our blessings on even keel that we can truly appreciate the enormity of our blessings and then realize that our problems are relatively insignificant in comparison. Ask yourself if your take your abundance of health, wealth and happiness for granted. Look around and see the humongous population around us who are relatively less blessed than us. In comparison to their problems are your problems relatively minor. Do you see them continue to laugh, love and live with hope. So what stops you from doing the same with the same energy and enthusiasm?

Think again. Stop running away and you will come face to face with the demons in your mind and for sure you can stare them down, trample over them, confront them with daring and make them slink away. Don’t let them chase you forever.

Try these:

Imagine yourself to be a perfectly normal human being with one exception; you have no limbs. How terrible would that be? Is that the worst thing that can happen to you and destroy your zest for life? Click on the link to discover how life is what you make it to be. http://tinyurl.com/knu95gl

What will you do if you are told that the rest of your life is just less than a year away? Would you start asking why me? Would you go into depression? Click on this link to realize how one can be appreciative and grateful for all one has been given. http://tinyurl.com/bpesfbf 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Inner peace

9- 14 April 15 -Inner peaceDespite our best efforts to retain our equanimity, we often end up upset, annoyed, irritated, hurt, frustrated and fearful at times. Obviously these emotions make us anxious, stressed and could trigger panic in us too. We lament that we do not have peace of mind and quickly delve into finding a balm in our religious texts, search for spiritual insights or bottle up our agony keeping silent and aloof or going the other extreme by putting on a false bravado and pretence of exuberance. No matter what we do, finding inner peace becomes more challenging, stressful and at times completely elusive. The reason peace eludes us is because we hope  for peace within by seeking its solutions outside.

Like happiness, peace is an inside job. What one needs to do is focus on the following:

Appreciate what you have – It is a natural human tendency to take for granted all that we are blessed with. Unfortunately, when do not really become aware of how blessed we are be it in the form of good health, a loving family, material and financial wellbeing etc. our mind focuses on what we do not have. We then crave for it, get obsessed with it and if we are fortunate to get it turn our attention very soon to another one of our longings/ desires.

Accept the reality but work to change it – Change is the one constant in our life and far too often every change does bring with it a host of challenges. Initially we fight change hoping that the change is temporary, then we hope to adjust to it and most of the time thereafter we keep fighting to resist accepting the change. On the other hand if one accepts the reality, as we often do when we lose a loved one, then we can focus better on coping with the reality that stares us in the face. Passed over for a promotion, sudden pink slip got, sudden financial outflow for unexpected illness of a loved one, these and many more are changes that swoop down on us, give us a hard knock and yet give us scope to cope and offer us new insights, fresh possibilities and certainly hope for something even better.

Seek solutions instead of brooding over problems – Every problem disturbs ones peace of mind. However, a problem remains a problem as long as one does not find a solution. So one can restore one’s peace of mind only when we find solutions to our problems. As long as we do not attempt to find solutions to our problem we are merely sacrificing our peace of mind. Parents have problems with truant children; spouses have marital discords off and on, there are numerous problems that arise at the work place, fresh graduates have problems finding jobs, there many who have to cope with illness and pain and the list goes on. Instead of worrying about the problem seek solutions be it asking for help, seeking expert advice, finding alternatives, resolving differences or simply accepting what can’t be changed.

Focus on the above you would never notice people or situations impacting your life and disturbing your peace of mind for you have already taken charge of your negative emotions by consciously pursuing actions that yield positive results.

Here is a cartoon that aptly encompasses all the 3 points.

Inner-Peace-Accept RealityTry these:

  • When disturbed, what are the feelings / emotions that overwhelm you?  Anger / frustration / helplessness / sadness / emptiness / agitation / confusion / panic. How do you cope with these feelings so as to calm yourself down?
  • What are you favorite stress busters? Check if these stress busters have turned into addictions (e.g. smoking). Think of new possibilities / ways that can become stress busters.

This post is courtsey www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com