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Archive for the ‘Decisions’ Category

21- 11 June 17- DisciplineIt is tough to be disciplined without supervision because falling prey to the lure of something more agreeable often overrides our deepest desires. Invariably it is a third party with authority, like a parent, a teacher, a coach, a boss who can forcefully discipline us. Unfortunately, we cannot have such authoritarian figures around us all the time, hence we have to make our inner most urge and our conscience our self appointed disciplinarians. The trick is to find ways and means to identify what we want most and super impose it on what we want now, so that we do what is needed to be done most, now!

Have goals – Each of us has to make the effort of having various goals for the varied dimensions of our life. Having a passion that will become a profession would be an ideal long term goal. However, profession is just one dimension of our life and finding our passion is in itself a challenging goal. In addition to a professional goal, each individual must also have a financial, social, personal, and academic goal. Goals enable one to have focus and a purpose. These will define the actions you take that will bring you closer to each goal that you have set. Remember that there is also a time element that has a major bearing on how much of the goal you achieve. E.g. the earlier you start to save, there is higher chance of having a larger savings.

Have milestones for each goal – While goals provide a focal point, often they seem to distant and we begin to think that we have ample time to reach those goals. On the other hand if one has short duration milestones which together enable you to reach your long term goal, it will help you focus on what needs to be done the most now. E.g. If your goal is to score an aggregate of X marks, you have to further break it down into the marks to be scored in each subject and then allocate time for studies for the respective subjects. You may even have to allot time for breaks for yourself so that you can relax, distress and recharge yourself.

Measure progress – While making goals and milestones is relatively easy, the key to progress is by measuring how much you have achieved. This will force you to do what needs to be done, make you aware of how well you are faring and give you a realistic picture of how realistically you will achieve your long term goals. Measuring progress will also help you revise your plans, revise your milestones and action plans so that you are able to progress towards your goals.

Make fear an allay – The goal gives you the focus, the milestones help you make progress and the measurement of your progress will provide you both the carrot and the stick for self discipline. The stick comes in the form of fear. If you are lagging behind, it will definitely give you a jolt for you will have put in extra efforts to attain your goal. This will automatically make you more disciplined. The stick called fear will be your ally in making you realize if you have drawn up a realistic goal or if you have majorly slipped in being disciplined.

Visualize success sweeter – The carrot that the measurement of progress provides is in the form of joy and satisfaction with the progress you are making. This in turn motivates you to continue to be disciplined because you have already tasted the sweetness of success. Self discipline becomes etched in your psyche because you know it is the most rewarding habit that you can form.

‘Fear will force you to be self disciplined; success will make you addicted to self discipline. Use both these forces to be self disciplined so that you can say NO to what is not to be done now and instead DO what has to be done now so that you attain what you want MOST.

Try these

  1. Make a list of all the pending jobs that you have as of now. It should include official work, personal work, leisure time activity, your family time activity etc. Now regroup them under some meaningful categories, perhaps on the same lines as mentioned above i.e. personal work, official work, family related etc. Are you in a better position to focus on the urgent and important work listed? Do not make this a onetime activity but use it as a tool to be updated and profited from.
  2. List out the following
  • Three instances where you had to pay a price for not being self disciplined.
  • Three activities that you dislike but cannot avoid.
  • Three instance where you felt really happy that you were self disciplined.
  • Three activities that you love but cannot indulge in.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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29-four-point-transformationEach of us is seeking ways and means of transforming our life into something more glorious. We try to change our personalities, we seek good counsel, we attempt to add more formal and informal education to our CV . We even attempt to convolute our entire being into an artificial person that we cannot identify with. The efforts are laudable; the outcome may often fall short of our expectations. A simpler way would be, to attempt and imbibe the following four points in our daily life and that could be the beginning, of an entirely new chapter in your life.

Attract what you expect – No matter what the situation, it pays to be optimistic, positive and motivated for they tend to attract success. It is good to visualize vividly your goals, your plans, your future for that is when you begin to identify happenings and situations that will set you on the path that you want to go. E.g. assume you want to own a car. Think of the make and color of the car. Soon you will begin to notice that, you tend to be spotting exactly the same type of car more often on the roads. It is just that you are goal focused and hence tend to overlook all other vehicles that you are not interested in.

Reflect what you desire So what is it that you passionately desire? How can you achieve those desires? Nothing comes easy, but every small step you take, will take you closer to realizing your dreams and desires. You can seek status/ wealth / academic excellence/  a successful career / a perfect spouse or a wonderful parent. No matter what you desire, your actions / your attitude / your behavior/ your ethics and your passion need to reflect your desires. E.g. You have to display leadership skills if you want to be taken seriously as a potential leader or you cannot become a wonderful parent unless you spend ample time with your children.

Become what you respect – Who are the people you respect? What is it about them that you admire and acknowledge? Their personal values, their communication style, their ability to put people at ease, their discipline, their attention to details etc. could be some of traits that make them well respected and admired by society. It is upto you, to work hard and change yourself, by imbibing some of these well respected qualities and traits. You will soon evolve to become an individual whose traits, values and style get approval of others and you start gaining their confidence and respect. E.g. Once you let it be known that you respect time and are a stickler for time by attending meetings or keeping appointments, people will begin to respect you for your commitment and  your value of time.

Mirror what you admire – It is said that imitation is the best form of flattery. Most times though we tend to imitate or mirror the style statement of celebrities, ape the playing style of our sporting heroes or tend to be part of the current trends. While some of these could be useful, what we must never ignore is to identify the traits, the values and the spirit that many of our heroes and favorite celebrities posses. Their work ethics, for example, could be the key to their success. Possibly their discipline and their ability to evolve with the times give them that extra edge to succeed. Identify these wholesome qualities that you admire and make that part of your style too.

Try these:

Be honest to yourself and answer how you would react in the following situations:

  • You have studied hard for an exam but unfortunately the paper is very tough. Unless you pass the paper you may lose a year. You notice that the student in front of you seems to be answering well and you can copy from his/ her paper. What will you do?
  • You find a lost wallet containing a large sum of money in it. There is no identification of the owner of the wallet. What would you do?
  • You have to tell your principal which of the two people has committed some terrible mischief. The person who has done the deed is your closest buddy but the other accused is the class bully and you dislike him immensely and have some scores to settle with him. What response would you give your principal?
  • You have entrusted some valuables including a family heirloom with a friend’s friend, when you and your friend had to suddenly go out of town. On coming back the person with whom you had kept the valuables says that he/she is unable to locate the same despite trying their best to locate it. You are distraught and want to file a police complaint. Your friend is adamant that you should not file that police complaint since it would tarnish the other friends’ reputation. What would you do?

List out some of the traits / values you respect in the following persons:

  • Your favorite teacher
  • Your dad or mum or sibling
  • Your favorite uncle/ aunt /neighbor
  • Your colleague / friend
  • A celebrity you admire
  • A well known character from history.

So which of these traits / values do you share or would like to imbibe?

 This post is courtesy http://www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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9 Coping with  anger

Every individual however calm and tolerant he/ she is will at times get angry either because they are provoked or because they are upset at what they observe and do not approve. The vast majority of us are quick to get angry, some because they are short tempered others because they are easily frustrated and some because they are idealists and seek perfection all the time. The irony is that most times our anger is justifiable but how we give in to our anger is questionable. We rave, we rant, we scream, shout, abuse, threaten and in extreme cases vent our anger in a physical form. Unfortunately the anger we express allows us to let off steam but rarely does it propel the relationship much further.

The intensity of our anger is largely expressed in direct proportion to the intimacy of the person to whom it is directed e.g. husband and wife or parent and children. In other cases the intensity is largely inversely proportionate to the level of the organizational hierarchy of the sender and receiver of the angry exchange e.g. the superior will inflict all his anger on the junior most subordinate and will sulk to express anger with a superior. With strangers the intensity of our anger depends on the situation, our perception of the individual at who we direct our anger and how effectively the quick release of anger calms us down. What is interesting is that having expressed our anger we do tend to get a sense of relief but very very rarely do we actually resolve the problem effectively. By expressing our anger we certainly convey our emotion but do not effectively convey the real problem nor do we get the full attention of those who we address. Most times expressing anger triggers defensive responses from the recipient who try to apportion blame or to justify the action or simply apologize and escape.

On the other hand if we can pinpoint to ourselves what exactly annoys, irritates and angers us, we would be able to explain our anger perhaps forcefully but certainly very effectively. Our anger is often a quick reaction to what we perceive as an action that is contrary to our expectations. At times our anger could be completely misplaced and if we explain our anger, we would perhaps get to hear a very plausible reasoning for the action. Explaining our anger would educate the recipient, it would also make the recipient better appreciate our point of view and most of all it will be enable the person explaining and the person listening connect and see the issue from the same perspective. Explaining anger would spur the recipient to proactively rectify the problem and this in effect means you are enabling a solution, resolving an issue and achieving our objective.

Expressing anger may give temporary relief to the person expressing it but explaining anger will certainly direct energy and action towards a more permanent solution to the problem.

Try this:

  • Can you recall 3 incidences where you were at the receiving end of somebody’s anger? Were you really guilty or culpable as indicated by the person admonishing you?
  • Think of one or two times when you expressed your anger only to sheepishly realize that your anger was completely misplaced. Do you think you could have handled the situation differently and more effectively with loss of face?
  • You were entrusted with Rs.5,000 in cash to be deposited in the bank. Since one of your office colleagues was going to the bank you asked her to deposit it on your behalf. Unfortunately her handbag containing your money was stolen on the way. How would you react to this situation? How do you expect the person who entrusted you with the money to react when you explain the matter to him.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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30 -The 5W's of LifeX Y and Z have always got their share of glory or infamy depending on how much you liked algebra and geometry but it is the alphabet W is that we focus on today. To begin with W has a rather awkward pronunciation but more importantly all progress is largely dependent on the answers to the 5W’s supported of course by the equally oddly pronounced H. Today we reflect on the critical role of the 5 W’s in shaping our life, our attitude and our successes.

Who am I! Your individuality is what makes you unique. Even identical twins would stand out from each other because of the differences that mark each one out. By being aware of our individual uniqueness, one can focus on strengthening ones attitude, skills, behavior and talents to contribute the world around us. Of course our uniqueness would also invite criticism, questioning, curiosity, suggestions and admiration from others who cannot possibly comprehend our individuality. Do not let that disturb you but do pay heed to it for there could be a lot of learning that emanates from such feedback. Most importantly be proud of who you are; faults, limitations, weakness notwithstanding.

What lies ahead? If the future was predictable life would be terribly boring. The wonder of waking up each day lies in the abundant mysteries that each day will unravel. There would be surprises, there would be shocks, there would be laughter, there would be tears. We value each emotion because we are blessed with the gift of experiencing these varied emotions. When we dare to explore, experiment, engage differently we are setting ourselves up for surprises and opportunities that never existed before in our limited vision. There is risk but there is larger glory beyond our comfort zone.

When life is a challenge what do I do? Each one of us has his/ her own personal challenge to cope with daily. The scope and gravity of the challenge would vary but we cannot side step these challenges. At times we get overwhelmed, other times we feel weighed down, may a time we are frustrated and almost often we get irritated and annoyed when having to deal with niggles and issues that never seem to end. Most times we have to deal only with irritants but it is the big challenges like coping with life threatening illness, being suddenly handled a pink slip, coping with a way ward offspring, getting into a financial mess bordering on bankruptcy etc. that test our character, our will, our capacity to cope and our resolve to overcome. Self belief is critical but calm rational thinking is essential too. Seeking help would not be demeaning neither would taking tough decisions be embarrassing. What is essential is not to give up, give in or surrender but to take the tough road to redemption with firm resolve.

Where the choices are equally alluring how do I decide? Every moment of your life you are making choices. Even as you read this you have the choice to continue reading or do something that you believe is more beneficial, worthwhile or important. Your choice must be based on what you think is most relevant at that point of time. It could be based on facts, it could be based on urgency, it could be based on intuition but what is important is that whatever your choice and the outcome, you must have no regrets.

Why do I feel apprehensive about the future? Frankly there is nothing that you can do about the future except to anticipate and prepare to face it. Even then, the future always surprises with its unexpected bounties and occasionally jolts us with unexpected shocks. If one were to dispassionately assess the happenings in one’s life, for the overwhelming majority the future that overcame us had largely always aided and abetted our growth, prosperity and happiness. It is true that we would all have experienced unexpected sorrow, failure and disappointment along the way but they would be far, few and in-between. A better way to tackle the future would be to try to create it; trust your instincts, take chances, work hard, follow your dreams and you will find you have arrived at your destination.

Try these:

  1. If you came in the possession of Alladin’s Lamp and were granted 3 boons, what three boons would you ask for yourself?
  2. If you were select an animal that best represents you what would be the endearing qualities that the animal has that resembles those that you possess?
  3. Can you recollect 3 crazy things that you did in your life? Did you regret doing it? What learning did you get from those experiences?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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15-24 Aug 14 - A different take on TIMELooking back wistfully may not be a waste but looking back with regret is disastrous for the life ahead of you. When wistful, our thoughts go back to the pleasant memories of days gone by, the growing up years, the warmth and affection of loved ones, the lessons learned some perhaps in painful ways but each memory triggers a nostalgia tinged with sadness but filled with love. On the other hand, looking back with regret evokes a host of unpleasant, loathsome and burdensome thoughts each sending a stab of pain and anguish. We never seem to get over the ‘if only’ syndrome and add a garnishing of bad luck, stupid decision making and other peoples faults to make a pungent potion of an indigestible concoction which we refuse to spit out.

While the past cannot be changed we can certainly change our view of the past. Begin by taking stock of what you are blessed with today. It may be frugal, it may not be anywhere close to what we hoped to have but the fact is you still have it. Now focus on what you want to get. You can dream big no matter what your circumstances, for you are limited only by your dreams. So now you have a dream and a reality which outline for you your present and the future. The missing link is the past which has played a crucial role in helping you reach where you are. Now see the past as a bridge that allowed you to cross a chasm. You didn’t have much of a choice at that point unless you changed tracks to explore alternate routes. Having crossed the chasm the bridge is no longer there for you to reverse your steps so all that you can do is walk on.

Starting today, as you journey ahead, be aware that many of those unpleasant events of the past have actually nudged you in the right direction and enabled you to attain far more than you would ever have otherwise. Perhaps it was a failure that nudged you to pursue a different profession than what you had planned. In many cases we never had any plans and life was kind enough to lead you to where you are today. Starting today remember also that you have numerous choices ahead. Choose wisely for your choices today, will tomorrow become, the bridges you crossed yesterday. If you have a plan, a dream a goal you are better placed to make wiser choices. Youngsters reading this post be more aware that what you post on social networking sites could mar your career tomorrow for they reflect your personality, beliefs and attitude far more astutely than what you portray in an interview. If you have big dreams then think more clearly today about your values, your character and your convictions and let them come through in your choices.

Try this:

  1. Outline 3 decisions of the past that you would have taken differently. How would each of that decision impact your present? 
  2. Can you think of 3 incidents from the past which you hated/ regretted/ wished didn’t happen but latter realized that they actually benefited you in the long run. How did it benefit you? 
  3. What will you do when faced with the following circumstances?
  • You find a wallet with Rs.10,000 in it but no other papers or details of the owner of the wallet.
  • You are driving out of a parking lot and you were distracted by a call on your mobile. Unfortunately you rammed into a parked Mercedes car. The damage to the other car is significant but fortunately for you there are no attendants around and you can drive away without being noticed.
  • Your roommate is out of town and you borrowed his /her camera when going for a picnic. The camera slipped from your hands and has stopped functioning. There is no external damage marks on the camera.
  • Your best friend at work has requested you to tell a lie to cover up for her /his unauthorized absence from work.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in

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4-16May14-That little extra

We are often envious of others, particularly if they have a skill set or ability or demonstrate an aptitude to do things in much better way than most people, including us. We are in awe of others who showcase an exceptional skill or perform with panache or come up with an extraordinary feat. Far too often we also rationalize that they are talented, blessed and or lucky to have that gift and we rue our fate that we are insignificant as compared to them. The crucial mistake that we make in judging extraordinary achievers while belittling our own capabilities is that we conveniently overlook the hard work, commitment and zeal that the achievers harness to make that extra difference that attracts success.

Here is how you too can pep up your life and your life, both personal and professional by getting that EXTRA zing into all what you do.

Enlarge your vision – We are limited by our thinking and hence it is imperative that we enlargen our vision and see beyond. This means we need to imagine possibilities, learn to appreciate people around, accept the situations as they develop, anticipate changes and become aware of happenings within us and around us. E.g. Try to find opportunities in problems / when doing a task imagine something more that you can contribute to it which will make the work excellent

Xplore creatively – When in difficulty we delve into our imagination and come with alternative solutions to our immediate problems. All we need to do now is harness this ability we have, to proactively ready ourselves for anticipated changes. It also provides us an opportunity to explore our own hidden strengths, discover new opportunities and create openings for us to progress. E.g. You love wildlife but do not know how to contribute to it. Have you explored options like adopting a wild animal in the local zoo or sponsoring someone to go for a jungle safari

Transform yourself – We are all creatures of habits, followers of routines, comfortable with the tried and tested. The extra edge we give ourselves begins by making a conscious effort to transform ourselves and altering ourselves to blend in / adapt to developments happening around us. E.g. Change your style of dressing/ attire/ attitude / dietary habits

Respond with alacrity – How we respond to events, happenings, situations and people would give us that extra edge in being noticed and being entrusted with greater responsibilities. Our responses would also hone our skills to think logically & creatively, act decisively and take responsibility. E.g When you not notice a social problem be it indiscriminate littering or a water leakage or non functional street lights do you only lament at the problem or do you contact the concerned authorities?

Act now –Most times we have good intent but lack the will power to execute our intent. Other times we begin in great earnest only to slowly succumb to our laziness, disheartenment and / or lure of other attractive alternatives. Frequently we find ourselves indecisive about how to move forward. Consequentially we remain in a limbo, suffer from paralysis by analysis and hope our inaction will result in some sort of solution favorable to us. The winners in life have always had to suffer losses and yet managed to overcome their defeats before they embraced success. Start NOW… no matter how you feel.

Try this:

  1. Find a productive way to spend 3 hours every week contributing to a cause / project/ activity that will have a positive impact on the social environment around you. E.g Spending time at an old age home / orphanage / hospice or spreading awareness about environmental concerns or educating the underprivileged etc.
  2. Choose from some of the options given below (you can add your own points too) to choose some action you will take immediately to add that little EXTRA to your life and make a difference
  • Listen more
  • Stop arguing
  • Criticize less
  • Appreciate more
  • Add some more value to the job being done
  • Be less self critical
  • Control temper
  • Eliminate a bad habit

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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3-27Apr14-Be  the CEO of your lifeThe major problems we face in our life, has its roots in our attitude towards it. Unfortunately, our attitude is also largely influenced by people around us. So it is essential that we periodically evaluate the numerous people who come into our life and influence us. By and large, those whom we interact with are people who fall in one of the following categories; those who are part of our lives like our parents, siblings and relatives; those who are influencers like elders, teachers, bosses at work; people who come into our life like friends, colleagues, neighbors’, household staff etc. Each one of them will broadly have your welfare in mind when interacting with you but the problem arises when you cannot accept their point of view or they refuse to appreciate your viewpoint.

Parents and teachers would ideally like obedient, studious and well mannered children /youngsters. Friends and colleagues would seek a pleasant, friendly and fun to be with person. Similar characteristics are sought by others too be it neighbors’, co passengers on a journey or the household staff. As individuals we too would look out for many of these qualities in the people we interact with. The problem begins when we fail to meet the other people’s expectations and they react in a manner designed to influence your thoughts and attitudes to their expectations from you. When the differences become acute our attitude and consequent behavior also alters often sharply and negatively. We can turn into rebels or become docile or indifferent or become angry and uncooperative or turn into defeatists. A few though are also able to adapt themselves and adopt a positive, vibrant and go getter attitude designed to succeed and prove others wrong.

If you are not one of who is blessed with a positive, vibrant and go getter attitude, it is essential that you take charge of your life immediately; after all you are the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of your life. One of the toughest tasks a CEO has is people management for it involves promoting people, demoting people and in extreme cases terminating people. As CEO of your life, this is the time to also ask yourself who are the people in your life who are invaluable to you. These, are the people who you must promote by interacting more frequently, seek counsel of when required. You would also need to listen to them more attentively, answer their questions more truthfully and trust their advice more implicitly. They could be parents, teachers, friends, well wishers or mentors; trusting them is the key.

There are other people in your life who you cannot avoid despite them being people you dislike. This could be because they give you a bad vibe or because they are constantly interfering or because they spew advice without a pause or because they display a ‘I know it all’ attitude or because they want to control your life. Unfortunately since you cannot avoid them because they are an integral part of your life either as family or office colleague or boss or a neighbor what you need to do is demote them. This can be by limiting interaction with them, acknowledging their suggestions without commitment, taking your own decisions and merely informing them about your actions etc. When it comes to the people who you despise the simplest action to be taken is to terminate them from your life. Not responding to them, avoiding them as often as possible and frankly telling them that you do not like their interference in your life are sure shot ways to ensure you eliminate the people who you have no interest in.

Now you have taken the first steps to being the perfect CEO of your life.

Try this:

  1. List out 3 names each of people in your life who you would like to promote, demote and eliminate. Also work out an action plan to execute the same.
  2. Name 3 people who have supported and encouraged you. Write down the most inspirational message they gave you.
  3. Can you recollect the most misplaced negative comment or feedback you ever got?
  4. Can you remember the 3 most encouraging statements you have made to others and the most critical statements you have told others?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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