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Archive for the ‘Difficulties’ Category

12-Unplug and rebootA key reason we get stressed is because we continue to grapple with our problems by constantly attempting the tried and tested ways, instead of stepping back and letting the dust settle. If you have noticed muddy water that has been stirred up, it will be difficult to see through till you let the mud settle. The same happens with our problems and challenges. There is no better example than the numerous devices we use constantly, the mobile phones, the laptops and the near extinct desktops. The simplest way to get it going when it seems to have stalled is to simply switch of the power. Unplug the power and everything settles; then reboot and begin anew.

The best way to unplug from troubles is to distract your mind. This simply means forcefully directing your mind to other more pleasurable alternatives that are stress relievers. Take a walk, watch TV or read a book or get engaged in some activity that you enjoy like your hobbies. While trouble itself will not go away, your mind will become calm and you will be able to think more incisively and get more focus on how to proceed ahead.

Another way to unplug is to unburden. ‘Share your troubles and halve it’  is the principle that we leverage here.  We share our problem with people whom we trust and people who we believe would have some tangible solutions or at least make invaluable suggestions. While we share our problem we also subconsciously get greater clarity about the issue, our mind feels more relaxed that someone else is sharing our burden and the chances of getting some fresh insights from others to alleviate or tackle our burden is higher. Those listening to our problem also offer empathy, support and most of all give us some of their insights into coping with the problem.

The most common way to unplug is to sleep over a problem. This is tougher than it seems simply because a troubled mind would not easily get sleep. However, if one develops a style of setting aside the problem for a fair time, when we re-look the problem new thoughts and solutions seem possible. If one can literally sleep over a problem, the subconscious mind would often work in the background and conjure up possibilities that our conscious mind would not have generated. However one should not be like an ostrich burying its head in the sand hoping the troubles not seen would vanish.

Try these:

  1. Try some simple cross words or Sudoku. At first for those not used to solving such puzzles the challenge seems overwhelming. However, once you make an attempt and try it a few times, you get the hang of it and the challenge would not seem so daunting.
  2. Think of a time you managed to find a solution to a pressing problem by unplugging in the following ways
  • Indulging in your favorite hobby  or passion interest
  • Sharing your troubles and getting answers from another person
  • Sleeping over the problem and waking up to a very innovative solution

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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40-family-treeThe Christmas season is fast approaching and that is a time when most times families, particularly in countries that celebrate Christmas get together to bond and renew ties. Equivalent festivities are definitely present in various other countries and cultures too. So what is common to all these festivities?  It is a time when we realize how each person has evolved and found his/ her own path in life and chalked out their destiny. What makes the season special is also the fact that gifts are exchanged, which means each gift is thoughtfully selected for the person to whom we gift it. It is also a time for fun and bonding, a time to reminisce and a time to realize how each one has grown and yet remained rooted.

This is a good time to have a re-look at our own family tree.

Branching out – The individuality of people, the paths they tread and the way each one evolves is reflected in the way one branches out and chalks out one’s own destiny. The beauty of this branching out is that it helps people evolve, it is the blooming of the child into maturity and it is the culmination of how one attempts to give expression to ones dreams, hopes and aspirations. Some are fortunate to have a smooth passage with encouragement and relatively easy success paving the way. However, for many, branching out is a challenge. There are parental expectations, personal weakness and conflicting alternatives that we need to overcome, before we reach stability in personal and professional life.

Remaining rooted –Branching out happens because we have our individualistic thoughts, dreams, passions and abilities that are different from the other family members.  However, what gives us identify apart from our own achievements are the family ties that bind us, the support system they represent, the commonality of emotions that draws us close to each other. We can fondly reminisce about the good old days; go through the ecstatic and most depressing moments together, feeling it as one. It is also the bond that makes us come together for a joyous celebrations like weddings in the family or a significant birthday of a loved one and it is also the same bond that enables us to be present during traumatic moments of our extended family  be it a an accident or a death. Our roots bind us together for we are all nourished by the same love that runs through our branches, leaves and fruits.

Growing – For a tree to become a tree, it is essential that both its roots and its branches grow healthy and strong. The same holds true for a family. So while the individuality will help one find his/ her own future and destiny, it is the bond with the family and extended family that provides one with values, culture and nourishment through support in testing times. If the roots are strong, the tree will always grow and flourish and a family that is grounded in good values, culture and close bonds would be the same too. Give space to individuals to bloom and flower and keep them close so that they continue to be nourished by the bonds that tie one another.

Try these:

  • Make a family tree and share it with the extended family.
  • Hold family reunions to ensure there are more meetings and interactions especially between the younger members of the family.
  • Share interesting tidbits of family members who have some remarkable achievements/ talents / success so that others can be proud of them and also benefit from their success.
  • Surprise a family member with a surprise gift on a significant occasion for the person.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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35-pain-changes-people

Broadly pain comes in two types- physical pain and emotional pain. Both types of pain are tough to deal with. However, the emotional pain is often the one most tough to cope with, because the emotional pain hurts from inside and is much more difficult to overcome. The physical pain can at times be excruciating too and equally difficult to cope with. The challenge of emotional pain is that it provokes questions like why me? What if? Will it change my life for the worse? Can I ever cope with it? that makes it hard for an individual to find satisfactory answers to. The result is that emotional pain triggers in us a negative attitude to people, lose confidence in ourselves and a ‘poor me’ syndrome overwhelms us.

Emotional pain is non physical pain. This means that the pain is felt in the head and heart. Death of a loved is the most common emotional pain but since death is a reality everyone has to deal with, most people can get over this pain over time. Of course there are exceptions like the sudden death of young person or the sudden death of a dear pet. However, emotional pain felt when a marriage breaks down or when one gets an unexpected pink slip or one is made aware of a serious ailment is much more difficult to handle. The most common response to emotional pain are as under:

Trusting less: Emotional pain, especially if it is the result of a disconnect with another person be it a lover/ spouse or employer would seriously affect the aggrieved party/ parties and would often result in them at least temporarily losing their confidence in other people. This means that going forward, it takes them time to let go of the past, are always wary of people around especially new people and would never make a commitment to a relationship personal/ professional without being circumspect about the future.

Thinking more:  Emotional pain always magnifies the problem in the eyes of the aggrieved person. It also makes a person think of various worse case scenarios, make them interject varied negative possibilities to a possible solution and largely make them feel victimized. The over thinking limits their vision to see effective alternative solutions. It also adds to their mental turmoil and consequently  it impacts their personal, social and professional  life.

Becoming a recluse:  People who are emotionally pained tend to become recluse. They shun social contact, prefer their own solitude and face psychological trauma. They find it hard to connect with people for they trust less, think more and believe that no one can help them. They wallow in self pity, have delusions/ fears of a second wave of trauma and adapt to solitude for company. Unfortunately that also means they have lesser chances of picking themselves out of their emotional rut.

Pain changes people. Life becomes harder; living even tougher and at times dying seems like a perfect escape.

Be aware of the dangers of letting emotional pain overwhelm us and make us irrational. As long as there is life there is hope. Listen to both your inner reason and to the advice of well meaning friends. Learn to trust your instincts as well as the voice of love and reason of your loved ones who would do all within their power to help you overcome your trauma. Do not cut yourself from the world around; remember man is a social animal and your best chance to be emotionally stable would be by interacting with others. After all sharing joy doubles it and sharing grief halves it.

Try these:

  1. List out 3 painful moments of your life. How did you react to each of these moments? Do you still feel that pain even today or has time helped you overcome the pain?
  2. So which of the following emotional baggage are you still carrying with you
  • Having a breakup
  • Having a dear one insult/ hurt you
  • Hearing a rude/ disrespectful / sarcastic comment about yourself
  • Being let down / cheated  by a dear friend / colleague
  • Being forced to sacrifice your ethics in order to succeed

How did the above effect you. What have you done to regain your confidence after facing the above?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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8 - Refocus and get clarity

Clarity of thought is a quality that is essential for every individual so that he /she can progress forward in the right direction. Unfortunately for a variety of reasons, individuals have always grappled with the problem of confusion, an inability to be decisive and worse of constantly looking back and wondering if they chose their path wisely. Most of our lives we have been told to avoid problems. In school one is taught to solve problems. Most of our adult life we are anticipating problems and seeking ways to avoid it. As a result the problem overwhelms us, we are hell bent on avoiding or solving problems and we are apprehensive of moving away from the beaten path lest we encounter problems that we have never experienced. So instead of exploring and discovering we prefer to gingerly and tentatively traverse on known paths occasionally daring to venture into some shallow waters. Our horizons are limited our growth is stunted and our sense of achievement is scaled down.

Today the startups, the youngsters having dreams of alternative professions and those leapfrogging from staid professions to dynamic alternatives are tribute to mind set change from problem avoidance to solution finding. Our training of being defensive and risk averse has actually prepared us to easily reorient our thinking into seeking problems and finding solutions. Instead of letting your mind constantly worry about the problem, let it now dwell in anticipation of finding alternative solutions. With this changed orientation in our thinking we allow our creative self to take over. Problems are merely irritants, solutions are there to be found and in finding the solutions you discover your potential, create something unique and possibly even build a new paradigm of success for yourself. Man’s inability to fly was a problem since evolution. Those who saw it as a problem and did nothing about it rationalized that we really didn’t need to fly and so came up with alternative means of transportation. The Wright brothers on the other hand viewed the inability to fly as a problem deserving an appropriate solution. Their aircraft crude as it may have been pioneered the aircraft industry later. The hot air balloon and the drones are also examples of how solution centric answers can become very effective.

We need to watch out for three impediments that could take away our focus from being solution centric

Fear of the problem – It is true that every problem comes with its share of anxiety. When we let this anxiety overtake our rationality we remain problem centric. Our anxiety increases with the passing of time and no acceptable solution visible on the horizon. On the other hand if we analyze the problem dispassionately, we would be able to appreciate the varied dimensions of the problem and perhaps even see various alternative solutions peeping from some corners. Pick up a newspaper and try to solve the crosswords or Sudoku problem in it.

Distraction due to anxietyBefore you attempt the above keep a personal time limit to solve the problem. Notice how you get more tense, distracted and frustrated that the time is running out. Your attention is now drawn towards the deadline rather than the problem itself. This distraction will take away your concentration. On the other hand if you focus on finding solutions you will get at least some answers by the time the deadline approaches.

Urge to disown the problem – Very often we just want to somehow get rid of the problem. If possible we try to pass it on to others. If not we try to find excuses for the problem still being there. Very often we try to find someone to blame for the problem. This urge to get rid of the problem, to disown the problem, to pass the buck is our way of escapism. It neither helps in getting a solution nor does it ease our anxiety for the problem persists.

Watch out for the above and immediately change your thinking to finding a solution and keep seeking alternate solutions till you have ample alternatives to choose the best one. Yes problems often come with many many solutions. Keep searching for the best one.

Try this:

Click on this link to get an idea of how to FOCUS

You are given a barometer and asked to measure the height of a building. Think of 3 possible solutions to the problem. (Having a science inclination would help but oh yes every one can attempt it)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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16-29 Jun 15- Is this your life's missionLife is a constant challenge but not an impossible one. In fact with a little imagination and a lot of self belief, life can be made truly interesting the challenges notwithstanding. Just look around and you will find so many people happy and smiling. Very many of them would possibly be not so fortunate as you in terms of education, knowledge, financial well being, personal health etc. and yet they all know how to laugh despite their many challenges. The real challenge though is not merely to exist but to live and thrive with aplomb. To make that happen ensure you have an abundance of

Passion – Passion comes from within you; the depth of your emotions is the measure of your passion. The more positive emotions you feel very strongly about, the larger the intensity of your positive passions. Some negative emotions like anger at injustice, deep hurt felt when one fails, the competitive urge to succeed at all costs etc. also trigger passion that has a positive shade to it because it becomes an incentive to go for success. Passion is both a tremendous motivator as well as a source of unflagging energy that spurs one to action until one succeeds.

Compassion – This is passion for the less fortunate, the weak, the poor and the marginalized. This is a quality that grounds us to reality, allows us to explore the softer side of our personality and transforms us to being better human beings. Without compassion, we would be egoistic, uncaring, dictatorial, emotionless and cruel. We would almost turn out to be slave owners who saw the slaves as mere tools to meeting a personal end which is fueled by personal passion. Compassion allows one to experience empathy, stretches and exercises the heart muscles through the emotional pressure put on it and allows us a good reality check about how blessed each one of us is, as compared to the less fortunate around. Compassion brings balance and purpose to life.

Humor – A sense of humor is a vital quality that makes the human race so unique and special as compared to any other living specie. Humor is a bond that is perfect antidote to any pain. While physical pain can be alleviated with appropriate medicine humor is the all purpose balm that gives the quickest relief to psychological pain, worries, anxieties and nervousness. Humor not only calms the nerves but also peps one up with a sense of control, confidence and care freeness allowing the mind to be cool, calm and collected even in the most tense situations like in the case of an interview or when going for an operation. The ability to laugh at one’s own self is the highest degree of humor one can cultivate and sarcasm, poking fun at others and finding humor in another’s pain would be not only crass but counterproductive humor. Humor provides laughter to the heart and soul and when the heart and soul are happy, life becomes a breeze.

Style – Style is personalized statement that gives one a sense of unique identity. Style is often encapsulated in the outer presentation of person like the dress sense, the accessories, the perfume one uses etc. However style goes much deeper than that and is reflected in the mannerisms, the tone and tenor of communication, the behavior displayed in social situations, the control exercised when an emergency occurs and in substance of one’s interactions. Style is the living embodiment of upbringing, education and identity of an individual. It is an excellent barometer of the personality of an individual.

Try these:

  1. Identify 3- 5 activities / causes / concerns that you are passionate about. Now pick one of these and outline how you can substantially contribute to the same and commit both time and effort to it in an orderly and disciplined manner.
  2. Can you think of at least 3 favorite jokes. Go an share it with a friend, a sibling and a new acquaintance. Did you feel they appreciated the joke or only politely laughed? If you slipped on a banana peel on a crowded street, how would you react to the embarrassment?
  3. Observe people around you and jot down the unique style statement they convey. What style appeals to you and what is the style that your detest. Can you identify the specific reason / s for your likes and dislikes of a particular style. What is the most unique style statement for which you have been complimented for.?
  4. You would certainly have a tremendous feeling of compassion but would possibly not really know how to express it except perhaps to give alms to the beggars or feed some strays. Can you attempt the following?
  • Visiting an old age home and spend time with the inmates
  • Visiting a prison and trying to understand them
  • Spending time at an orphanage and playing with the inmates
  • Visiting an animal shelter and understanding how they work and what they do
  • Do visit a hospice and give solace to those in pain and fear.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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7-10Jun 14- View the trailer of your life to be

If our life were a movie, how interesting it would be to see the trailer of it and feel the thrill and excitement that is yet to come. No doubt there would be moments of pain and anguish, disappointments and frustrations, but like most movies, the end would always be a happy, idealistic and hopefully enjoyable one. Unfortunately, the movie of our life is scripted daily and so we continue to be a hero/ heroine on the stage of our life, little knowing what is scripted for us. Fortunately, we are also blessed with the gift of imagination, which enables us to take charge of our life, script and direct it the way we want to and succeed in large measure to have the most idyllic ending. So get set to telescope your imagination into your future and script your own success. Doing this is a simple matter of being imaginative ; begin by stating your life goals, anticipate the success you will achieve, roll up your sleeves and participate in the process, creating something tangible that you imagined and celebrating your achievements.

State – We often have wild fantasies, crazy ideas, some passionate beliefs, some out of the box thoughts etc but rarely do we ink it out and mull over it. As long as you can transcribe your imagination into words/ pictures/ doodles you will be able to attempt some work on it. Imagination should begin in the head but must be stated and spelled out clearly. Right now the best way to utilize the learning from the post is to jot down at least 3 ideas that came to your mind as you read this post.

Anticipate – If you have written down at least one idea, you would notice that your mind is already thinking about it even as you read the post. There is a sense of anticipation that the idea is workable. You are already evaluating alternatives to make the idea work. If you haven’t got an idea, you are reading further in the hope that you will get an ideas you read the post or at least at some point get some idea sometime later. Notice that it is this anticipation of getting a benefit that is motivating you to read. So stating your goal or vision or idea or dream helps you anticipate the next possibilities to attain your stated objective.

Participate – If you want things to happen, you have to start moving things. This essentially means you have to participate in the process. You give wings to your imagination and soar towards your goal by building the wings through effort, team work, rework, network and hard work. Even when you play a game, the key is your participation; if you don’t participate you can neither enjoy the game and for sure you cannot expect to succeed in the game. Participation must as far as possible be voluntary, self driven and pleasurable.

Create – As you sow so shall you reap; your intent, purpose, extent and passion in participation will determine what and how you create and achieve your goals/ dreams/ wish list. The process of translating your imagination into something tangible could be frustrating, backbreaking and dodgy. Yet, the experience would be invaluable, the rewards exhilarating and self fulfillment complete. There are times we won’t achieve perfection, some outcomes would be disappointing and criticism can be a constant companion but as long as you are progressing towards your goal and creating your dreams into reality, your life will be fulfilling.

Celebrate– The best part of imagination is not in day dreaming but in realizing that dream; in being a part of the achievement; in sharing the joy of the success and in relishing the fruits of success. Achievement is not merely a statistic but a vibrant creation and you are the heartbeat that pumps life into that creation.

Give your imagination wings and then use them to soar up high and enjoy the view.

Try this

  • How would you creatively / imaginatively dispose of your old clothes, books, footwear, odds and ends that are unnecessarily occupying space?
  • If you were to organize a party what unique games will you incorporate to make the party more entertaining and participative.
  • Considering your academics and interest, think up 3 unique career opportunities that you can possibly explore.

PS: Transcribe your answers into tangible achievements in the next 6 month.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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5-21 May 14- Live a life -Leave a legacy

Like the Northern Star that steadfastly guides the lost traveler, the quote today provides us an excellent pointer to what must drive us in making our life more meaningful, fulfilling and exhilarating. It also offers us a fresh perspective about our existence, reminding us that we need to make the most of life, for someday we will cease to be alive physically but we can ensure our legacy lives on.

Many of us get disheartened because we view ourselves as mere mortals who cannot create an impact on the world nor can we escape the drudgery of living as destiny has chosen us to. This is a fallacy that we have ingrained into our psyche and can be easily corrected by being aware that our life can positively impact all those you come in contact with and that each of us is given the opportunity to make the best of all we have. It is apt that at this juncture I share with you a link (http://chairbornewarrior.wordpress.com/category/my-second-life/ )that outlines the story of an extraordinary individual Mr.M.P.Anil Kumar who passed away yesterday. In many ways this post is also a tribute to him but more importantly his story captures the very core of today’s post.

Here are a few tips on making your life a legacy

Know yourself – This is the toughest part, partly because we can never be completely objective about our self but mainly because we are constantly evolving and our personality evolves with varied experiences, new knowledge and changing perspectives. Accepting our limitations also requires tremendous courage while identifying our strengths requires passionate self belief. Yet once we begin to understand and accept the being we are we can carefully circumvent our limitations while fully harnessing our strengths. E.g. Academics may not be everyone’s strength but some of us have diligence, commitment, hard work, vision etc as allies that we can harness fully to succeed.

Identify your passion – Many of us would candidly admit that lazing around, sleeping, day dreaming or being a couch potato is our most passionate activity. Yet we are also conscious that all of them are unproductive passions. So leaving aside these, list out some productive activities that you will happily engage in. Now creatively work out ways and means to make these activities fetch you income / returns. E.g. If you are a movie buff see if you can be a movie critic or if you have a natural flair for gadgets / gizmo’s find opportunities to leverage this passion.

Be zealous in what you do – Visualize a wonderful outcome of whatever activity you are engaged in.  This will provide you the impetus to be zealous and meticulous in whatever you are engaged in. The zeal you bring to your work will always give you an edge over others for good work is always noticed and rewarded. E.g. Have you noticed who is the co worker you can safely entrust a task to? Think about why you value his work so much.

Listen to the criticism but never let it overwhelm you – Since we cannot live in isolation, it is obvious that different people will form varying opinions about us. While some will be appreciative, there would be very many who will be extremely critical. There could be others who are indifferent while some others could be openly hostile. Be aware that there could be some truth in the criticism of others, so do not ignore the negative feedback. Yet do not let criticism dampen your spirits or cloud your judgment. Take corrective action where required but stay the course. If you know yourself you can never go wrong. E.g. If Ms. J.K. Rowling believed all the 12  publishers who rejected her first Harry Potter draft, those books would never have been published nor would millions of young readers have the pleasure of reading those books nor would she have become a millionaire and celebrity. What stops you from aiming so high?

Be the person you want others to be – If we have expectations of others, we must be prepared to walk the talk. In effect, our yardsticks of excellence for others must be the same yardstick we follow for ourselves. If we set a good example, all who observe us will attempt to imitate us. If we can simply be diligent in what we do, be truthful to our conscience, be fair to others and appreciate the efforts of those around, we would be living and leaving a legacy for others to imitate and emulate. E.g if we want our children to be honest we must ensure we don’t do any dishonest act ourselves or if we want the world to be a happier place learn to be happy first. Remember Mr.M.P.Anil Kumar and the cruel joke destiny played on him; yet he left behind a legacy hard to imagine and impossible to match.

Try this

List out 5 limitations/ weakness that you believe are hampering your progress in life. Now identify a quality that you posses that could be a possible antidote for that weakness. E.g. You are lazy. Antidote could be your ability to be disciplined or your ability to be committed to your goals or it could be your fear of monetary/ reputation loss. Now use the antidote as fulcrum to overcome your laziness.

Identify 3 people who in your opinion have left a legacy behind; (one must be a person from a historical / scientific / political / social service background   ; one from your friends and acquaintances and one a former teacher / superior ) Give an example of the one sterling quality they exhibited.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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