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Archive for the ‘Doubts’ Category

29- 12 Aug 17- Get goingBeginning a quest is always challenging because one is filled with doubts, concerns, worries and fear of failure. Perhaps, that explains why many of us have never got any of our grandiose plans even started. It also explains why the vast majority continue to walk down the ‘oft trod path’; lamenting or ruing their destiny. Each of us is given the freedom to explore options but we are often tethered by our dogmas and beliefs, our prejudices and our fears, our self limiting thinking and our inaction. As a result we continue to walk the beaten path lamenting our fate without daring to indulge in a latent passion or pursue a deep desire. The net result is that we just do not start; the dreams we have remain just pipe dreams; the future remains predictable and largely futile as compared to our hopes, aspirations and ambitions.

If you are someone with a burning desire to explore opportunities beyond the mundane and predictable, the starting point must be planning. The planning process begins with the setting up of a goal/ objective. This is then fleshed out in the form of details being added, so as to ensure as many variables as possible are identified and a plan to manage it, spelled out. It is important to bear in mind that no plan is fool proof and that a start date must be identified so that the plan is put into action. The way forward is in starting the implementation of your plan.

It is possible that a plan set in motion would face challenges. Despite the best of preparations, unforeseen and unpredictable hurdles could derail the plans. Many of these hurdles are self inflicted and often the result of tardy planning or self doubt or overconfidence. You may falter, you may have setbacks, you could begin to doubt yourself along the way but the goal must be to keep going. Of course there could come a time when either because you are prudent or because circumstances are beyond your control, that you will be forced to stop and give up. Take this setback in your stride. Having begun with confidence and hope is in itself a victory over your inhibitions and a testimony to your determination.

You will, if you move ahead as per plans, make progress. This will embolden you and be a great motivator to push ahead even if you progress is slow and even if the goal seems distant. Eventually you may reach the goal but perhaps not as planned and there could be a feeling of dejection. Yet, it is in reaching the goal, finishing the race and stretching your limits, that you realize how strong a person you are. If you did not start or if you gave up midway, you will never experience the thrill of realizing your potential, knowing your strengths and stretching yourself to attain new limits.

Your victory is in getting over your doubts, your inertia, yourself limiting beliefs and instead becoming proactive, resolute and focused on bringing about a change in your mind, body and spirit.

Start now, push ahead and realize your dreams.

Try these

  1. If you had just a week to live, how would you prioritize your life so that you have no regrets on the last day?
  2. What steps can you take immediately, to do the following:
  • Raise a significant sum of money for a charity of your choice
  • Give a suggestion to your local corporator / MP / Union minister in connection with an idea you have to improve the current services
  • To explore a passion that you have not yet begun in earnest.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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18- 18 May 17- Never explain never complainThe moment things do not go as per our plan or wishes, the tendency is to complain about something or the other that we believe, derailed our plans. Similarly, no sooner we are criticized, before we even ingest the criticisms, we are quick off the blocks with our explanations and excuses. To maintain our individuality, to become independent in thought, word and deed it is essential that we act as per our convictions and take responsibility for the consequences of our action. No matter what the outcome, there is no need to complain or explain; for it is the outcome of a responsible action.

To ensure one takes a good independent decision follow these rules:

Act responsibly: This is tougher than it looks because sometimes temptations, the need to act macho, the ego to prove something, the urge to defy others etc. overtakes our rationality and we act emotionally thereby opening up the risk of doing things that we may regret later. Responsible behavior is being fully aware of the consequences and being more rational and less emotional. You will never have to justify your action for you took it responsibly.

Take responsibility: There are times when you as a member of a team have to stand by your team and your leader even if you have a dissenting view about the action taken. Similarly as a leader there are times that you have to take harsh and unpleasant decisions which the majority may not favor. These are the times you take responsibility without fear or favor.

Learn from the feedback: There is always scope for improvement. Hence it is important that even if you don’t have to explain or never opt to complain, listen carefully to the criticism, the suggestions, the alternatives and the explanations given by others. Look also for examples of others; those who succeed, those who fail, those who did not act and those who sat on the fence. Everyone is offering free lessons to learn from; keep learning!

Think before you act: You should seek out the best from books, people, experiences and thought. However the decision has to be taken by you after applying your mind to the action you are going to trigger. Be aware of the velocity your action will trigger, the reactions it will generate and the goal it is set to achieve. When you are sure that there is balance between these and that it is time to be decisive act with confidence and faith. There is nothing you will regret ever.

Try these:

  • Which was the best decision that you took in your life?
  • What is the one mistake you still regret?
  • What was the stupidest decision you took under pressure from others?
  • What was the one situation you had to make up an excuse to get out of trouble?

 Did you face the following situations and how did you deal with it?

  • Your parents asking you to justify your poor scores in exams
  • Your coach benching you for a poor performance
  • Your friend / partner / spouse constantly complaining about a certain behavioral trait of yours

 List out your complains against the following people

  • Your parents / siblings
  • Your colleagues/ bosses
  • Your three best friends
  • Your neighbor
  • The last three co-passengers who disappointed you

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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12-Unplug and rebootA key reason we get stressed is because we continue to grapple with our problems by constantly attempting the tried and tested ways, instead of stepping back and letting the dust settle. If you have noticed muddy water that has been stirred up, it will be difficult to see through till you let the mud settle. The same happens with our problems and challenges. There is no better example than the numerous devices we use constantly, the mobile phones, the laptops and the near extinct desktops. The simplest way to get it going when it seems to have stalled is to simply switch of the power. Unplug the power and everything settles; then reboot and begin anew.

The best way to unplug from troubles is to distract your mind. This simply means forcefully directing your mind to other more pleasurable alternatives that are stress relievers. Take a walk, watch TV or read a book or get engaged in some activity that you enjoy like your hobbies. While trouble itself will not go away, your mind will become calm and you will be able to think more incisively and get more focus on how to proceed ahead.

Another way to unplug is to unburden. ‘Share your troubles and halve it’  is the principle that we leverage here.  We share our problem with people whom we trust and people who we believe would have some tangible solutions or at least make invaluable suggestions. While we share our problem we also subconsciously get greater clarity about the issue, our mind feels more relaxed that someone else is sharing our burden and the chances of getting some fresh insights from others to alleviate or tackle our burden is higher. Those listening to our problem also offer empathy, support and most of all give us some of their insights into coping with the problem.

The most common way to unplug is to sleep over a problem. This is tougher than it seems simply because a troubled mind would not easily get sleep. However, if one develops a style of setting aside the problem for a fair time, when we re-look the problem new thoughts and solutions seem possible. If one can literally sleep over a problem, the subconscious mind would often work in the background and conjure up possibilities that our conscious mind would not have generated. However one should not be like an ostrich burying its head in the sand hoping the troubles not seen would vanish.

Try these:

  1. Try some simple cross words or Sudoku. At first for those not used to solving such puzzles the challenge seems overwhelming. However, once you make an attempt and try it a few times, you get the hang of it and the challenge would not seem so daunting.
  2. Think of a time you managed to find a solution to a pressing problem by unplugging in the following ways
  • Indulging in your favorite hobby  or passion interest
  • Sharing your troubles and getting answers from another person
  • Sleeping over the problem and waking up to a very innovative solution

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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12- Be yourselfImitation they say is the best form of flattery. Human beings have unfortunately interpreted this to be a virtue to be imbibed. Thus, the rampant cult following for the style, mannerism, behavior and imitation of cult heroes / heroines / fashion trends / branded products. This has also triggered the advertisement industry to perpetuate this myth by getting celebrities to endorse products thereby fueling the followers need to imitate or at least believe that the products are a must have. While one cannot escape from the influences around us, we do have a choice to evaluate logically, think rationally and act intelligently. It is this individuality that we need to bring back into our life and blossom into the unique personality that we are.

To blossom and give expression to your individuality one has to remember the following

Appreciate your uniqueness – Due to the sheer number of people around us and the competitive environment around, it is easy for an individual to feel insignificant and unworthy considering the superiority of those around us. It begins in childhood. The school topper is envied by the rest while the school topper is often envious of the best athlete or someone else who has a different talent or skill set that the topper lacks. The constant criticism that we as individuals are subject to, from family friends, teachers and well meaning neighbors further dents our self confidence and our uniqueness gets drowned in a sea of comparison, expectations, influences and  criticism. If you are constantly being nudged to follow the beaten path, be aware that you are different and that you are attempting to furrow your own path amidst the labyrinth of paths around. Remember when you stand out you get noticed and then you cannot escape attention.

Recognize the good around and imbibe it – In pursuit of being unique it is important that we do not keep bending the rules, transgressing the law and walking a thin line between moral and immoral activities. In fact one must consciously observe, adapt and adopt the good from others around. It could be simple things like punctuality, orderliness, thoroughness, persistence and politeness. You would also observe that some of these good qualities are in short supply around and anyone who adopts these has a good chance of being noticed. So uniqueness is not merely in doing something extra ordinary it could be in doing the ordinary in an excellent manner. Listening skills, empathy, respect, giving an honest opinion, having the courage to disagree and to disagree without being disagreeable are all virtues that can also make an individual showcase his/ her individuality.

Do not get carried away by trends and influencers – it is easy to imitate, blindly follow and succumb to the trends of the times. One does not have to think much to do it but it could come for a price. Copying may not suit your personality, it could cost much, it will make you part of a herd, it could make you fit in with the wrong crowd and you would be blissfully unaware of it. At times it could also make you stand out like a sore thumb; an embarrassment to those who love you and possibly also harm your reputation and creditability. Your uniqueness is often reflected in the strength of you character; be it in refusing to be pressurized into smoking and drinking or to be foul mouthed or refusing to copy in an exam or being truthful even at the cost of losing friends or making enemies. Sometimes your mettle is tested when you have to stand up for your friends and risk having to face the punishment they get, although you were never involved in the aberration.

Dare to be different – Many of us don’t dare for fear of failure. There is a risk in every act we do. Not trying is perhaps the one mistake that is often common to a mass of people. How can you judge your abilities unless you attempt. Failure is just an indication that you can do better. Not trying and therefore not failing is a waste of opportunity to explore your potential. Being different can be as simple as giving honest feedback, appreciation and respect. It could be in the way you approach a challenge, it could be in attempting something you have never done before or it could be in simply walking away from a foolhardy or stupid prank. Your individuality is in being yourself, resisting the temptation to prove anything to anyone and in expanding your comfort zone by willing to risk something for a worthwhile goal. It takes tremendous guts to dare to something when you have no audience, no applause and no appreciation. Being a whistleblower, an RTI activist and a conscientious citizen are opportunities for you to explore to be different and to mark your individuality.

Make it your Life – While we do need to lead a life that meets societal norms, family expectations and fully harness our potential we must not subjugate our life to mere existence in order to comply with expectations. It is MY LIFE that I need to lead should be at the core of living. Is it difficult to lead your own life? Frankly it just requires one to be believe in his/ her own uniqueness and find the right motivation to let the work know that you are standing up to be seen and counted. This could mean risking attention, performing extraordinarily well, being criticized, getting applauded but not getting carried away by it and above all letting the world know you have arrived.

Unless you lead YOUR LIFE how will the world experience your uniqueness your individuality and your being. Have you ever copied somebody’s signature and made it yours?  Just as your signature is your own unique identify, let your life too be a unique one; one that was never there before and one that will never be there again. Make the word richer by your presence.

Try these:

  • If you could go back and live your life again what are 3  things you would do differently?
  • Can you identify an individual who gave you a wonderful piece of advice that you still cherish.
  • What is your favorite saying / proverb / quote?
  • What would you like to be remembered for?

Share with us (by writing in to actspot@gmail.com) the following

  1. A unique video clip that you found engaging and invigorating
  2. A book that you found inspirational and motivating
  3. A real life story that you could empathize with
  4. An incident from your life that you wish to share with the readers.

 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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5 - Positive evolutionEvery event, be it of the past, the current or the imagined future, influences our thinking, attitude, behavior and responses. Those events from the past that have scarred us, those that we do not like in the present and those that we fear in the future keep impacting us negatively. These tend to largely overshadow the blessings of the past, the wonders of the present and the opportunities of the future. It is therefore essential that we learn to reorient our thinking, start seeing the past present and future through a filter of positivity if we are to make our life more fun, more meaningful and more productive.

Be grateful for the past – If one were to dispassionately evaluate the past, for most of us it would become obvious that barring a few stray awkward, embarrassing, challenging and painful incidents life had been fun filled, happy and enjoyable. Yet we tend to largely focus on what has not gone right overlooking the more significant, satisfactory and fulfilling parts of our journey thus far. Of course the failures, the hurt and the pain of the past cannot be brushed aside but focus on the lessons learned from it. Focus on the transformation that took place because of it and made you a better person. If you still carry the baggage of the hurt of the past, it is a good time to offload it today. Relook the past with an eye to refresh, recollect and reflect on the blessings of the past; the wonderful childhood you have had, the loving care of the family around, the friends and relationships you have built up over the years, the success your were cheered for, the memories that you can forever cherish. If one uses that as the fulcrum of the past life, the present would also be seen in the same perspective provided one makes that effort.

Be engaged in the present – One common aberration in our daily living is the habit of lapsing into the ‘Good old days’ syndrome. The opposite extreme is to find fault with everything that does not happen the way we want it or the way we expect it to be. The present is where we are living and if we can see it as a wonderful place and time to be in, one can experience the joys that abound everywhere and all around us. Mechanization for instance has made our life a lot easier but do we value it? Communication technology has ensured we can be in touch instantaneously and with numerous people; yet do you feel lonely? Transportation revolution has made movement faster, cheaper and more pleasurable but do we keep cribbing about the costs, the lines at the airports, the railways stations and the bus stops? Disposables have become the order of the day saving time and effort yet we see the mountain of trash to which we also contribute conveniently overlooking our own part in it. The present has to be embraced with pragmatism. You may not be able to change what is happening around but one can surely appreciate the good, influence the ills by being sensitive and caring ( use less disposables / be more orderly in queues / cut down on indiscriminate usage of mobiles and internet etc.) but most importantly be involved in the moment. Don’t let the present fly past without it having improved you as an individual.

Be enchanted by the future – The future is a haze and that is precisely why we are wary of it. Strictly speaking if we can appreciate the wonders of our past, see the positive side of the present we must able to look forward to exciting times in the future. However, the future holds an undeniable reality; death. This unfortunately is a scary thought for the overwhelming majority and while we may never consciously reflect on it, subconsciously we are always hoping to prolong life be it our own or those of our loved ones. What adds confusion and apprehension when thinking of the future is the fear that the future may not be as serene as the past and the present. We worry about paying bills, hospitalization, relationships, old age, loss of income, loneliness and ofcourse death. These are all realities but a fair bit of timely planning and mental preparation to cope with these realities would ease our concerns and surely help one prepare to embrace the future. The first step to such preparation is not mentally running away from our fears. How many of those reading this post have prepared a will? How many of us have got our retirement plans chalked out? How many have saved for a rainy day? These can be done only if one is prepared to be realistic and give the future a more concrete shape rather than blindly walking into a hazy sunset. The sunset is surely the beginning of the night but when on an outing don’t we eagerly wait to see the glorious sunset and ensure we are the right place at the right time to enjoy it. See the future as a wonderful sunset and do what needs to be done to enjoy it!

Try this:

  1. Jot down 3 to 5 most wonderful memories from the past. Visualize the situation and the persons involved and revel in the blessings they were for you.
  2. What are the 3 significant contributions that you can make to ensure that the world around you is a better place? So have you started on it ?
  3. Make a list of the following
  • How much money do you think will suffice to ensure you have a comfortable retired life assuming you live till 90
  • What are the 3 things you will do to ensure that you are productively and happily engaged after retirement?
  • What are the 5 most important things you will want to incorporate in your will?
  • Make a list of surprise gifts that you will send this year to at least 3 of the above listed friends.
  • List 10 friends who you can count on to give you support and courage should you be in any trouble in the future.
  • Write down an epitaph for yourself that would best describe you / your life.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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1 - 5 Jan 16 A new Year MessageSo you and I begin a New Year 2016 with a lot of hope, a bit of trepidation and tons of goodwill from many! What one needs to quickly realize though, is that it is MY life and only I can make it the best one I can. Ideally we hope this year will be a lot better than the one gone by. We ponder over our mistakes and regrets of the past, we mentally note down the yardstick of others that become our benchmark for success and we rush into life aiming to win; little realizing that we are competing only with ourselves and all we need to do is challenge ourselves to excel.

Let us pause and ponder over a few life lessons to enable us to journey with a purpose, with joy in the heart, exuding the fragrance of our unique personality and contributing to creating a better world around us.

Life is a journey not a destination – We subconsciously realize this because while we do have aspirations we rarely limit ourselves to merely realizing our aspirations. Once we attain what we aimed for we reset our aspirations higher. This is a good practice for it allows us to pace and realize our progress. Unfortunately, most times we are consciously chasing goals that are not pragmatically designed but developed with materialistic considerations in mind. We tend to believe that if we attain that destination happiness would be ours. Alas, in pursuit of those materialistic goals, we do not enjoy the joys of life, fail to appreciate the blessings we have and instead keep craving for more. The key to life is to make the most of what one has.

There are no mistakes just chances we have taken – You cannot cross a chasm in two steps; so when we come to the chasms in daily life we have to either jump or turn back. At times we misjudge the width of the chasm other times we mistimed our jump or we overestimate our ability or we were unprepared to take that leap; in all the above cases we would have failed to clear the chasm. We would also fail we did not believe in ourselves and turned away. The times we have cleared the chasm and the times we deliberately and consciously refused to take the chance only to realize later that it was the best decision you made, are the only times one succeeds. In daily life the chasms are invisible, the skills sets required opaque, the decision making has to be quick and continuous and the results may not always equal your expectations. You just have to keep taking those chances for some of them could be the giant leap that can propel you to a different level.

Make the most of the moment without wasting time on regrets – The worst mistake one can make is to go back in time and keep wallowing in the misery of the regrets we have, If only is a common enough refrain that suggests that things would have been different and life much better. We keep wondering about the possible outcome if the choices we made were different. A decision made a point in time can neither be reversed nor can the consequences be altered. Not doing anything is also a decision. The reality is that we cannot escape our responsibility nor stew in our regrets. What we can do and must do is make every moment count.

Life is not a competition but a mere challenge – Your life is a challenge for you to cope with and not a competition with the next person around you. Each of us is blessed with unique talents, abilities and capabilities. What we need to do is be aware of our strengths and ensure we utilize it to the full. We fail because we do not run our race but pace ourselves using the others around us as pacemakers. If you are a sprinter and follow a marathon runner, you are bound to fail. Similarly if you a middle distance runner and use a sprinter as the your benchmark failure is certain. Success come only when you get up and keep running no matter what. It helps to plan well, pace yourself as per your abilities and push yourself to your limits. The challenge in life is to run your own unique race well.

Make life fun as you get serious work done – Most people go through life as if on a life saving mission. Reality is that everyone has to earn his/ her living. So then why not make that living while enjoying it. True there are periods of stress and turbulence but they are far few and in between, Do we really make the best use of the rest of our time to ensure that we make our life fun, our living a joy and the world we live in a heaven on earth? Do we laugh enough, can we enjoy a relaxed environment, do we pause to smell the flowers, do we have time to stand and stare? Can I experience bliss every moment of my life?

Each new dawn gives us another opportunity – So what are you going to do with the opportunity? Would you size it or squander it? Begin today, begin now by jotting down your goals for the year. Jot down all the things that you believe will make you happy. Outline the action you would take to overcome your weakness. Commit yourself to some unique experiences that you hope to have during the course of the year. List out 3-5 friends who you would surprise this year with a unique gift. Gift yourself an expensive gift this year (write down what you really want). There is so much more that I can do each day.

Try this:

Fill in the following list for yourself

  • A unique musical program that you will attend this year
  • An animal / bird that you will sponsor this year at the local zoo
  • A new skill set that you would like to acquire
  • A place that you will visit from amongst the following ; a hospice / a prison / a mental asylum
  • Three changes you will bring in to your daily life to make your healthier/ wealthier/wiser
  • Five people with whom you have lost touch but would reconnect with this year
  • A fund raiser in which you would participate and the amount of funds you plan to raise.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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13-31-Be YourselfWe are often left wondering why we do not succeed and realize our full potential. Much as we ponder the answer seems elusive, our frustrations keep increasing and worse still we are envious and jealous of those whom we feel succeed beyond measure. The quote above gives clear clues as to why we fail to achieve success that is well within our reach. Here is a simple analysis of the clues and each one of us can interpret the analysis for ourselves and apply the learning to realize our full potential.

Lack of self confidence. The vast majority of us are never going to be in the top percentile of those achieving academic excellence. Unfortunately, there is an over emphasis laid on academic brilliance and that first dents the confidence of the vast majority who lack the academic powers. Perhaps this lack of confidence then translates into lack of clarity of personal goals, indecision, confused mind set, inability to focus, half hearted efforts etc. This then becomes a vicious circle where performance is not up to par and in turn one becomes even less confident. Breaking this vicious circle holds the key to regaining our self confidence and self esteem.

Comparisons with others. Almost everyone is guilty of this at some stage or the other in our life. Unfortunately, the seeds of this aliment are first sown by our own well meaning parents, elders, teachers and well wishers who invariably try to compare our progress and achievements with that of other peers. While we resented that comparison, far too often we have subconsciously imbibed it and end up doing the same and ending coming to the same conclusion ‘poor me’ or ‘lucky them’. The comparisons by themselves are not bad because it gives us yardsticks to measure ourselves. However the conclusion we draw and which then becomes our creed poses a huge problem for our personal well being and success.

Attempting to be what we are not. One of the consequences of our lack of self confidence and our penchant to compare ourselves with others is the metamorphosis that we undergo in aiming to imitate our perceived success heroes/ heroines. Unfortunately the metamorphosis is incomplete because we only end up imitating the individual without imbibing the virtues he /she possesses. The result is a lame attempt at masquerading as a success while the mind, body and soul have never come to terms with the artificiality and hollowness of the self we project.

Not paying attention to our strengths. In our eagerness to achieve success we seek to imitate others, search for shortcuts and give up far too easily when confronted with difficulties. What we fail to realize is that each of us is blessed with our own unique abilities, talents and strengths. All it requires us to do is recognize it, allow it to flower in our work and leverage it in both our personal and professional life.

Focusing too much on our limitations. Time and time again the biggest weakness that thwarts our attempts to attain success is our inability to get going. This is because we are obsessed about the limitations we perceive in us and tend to imagine failures as a natural corollary. So if at all we begin we do it with trepidation, keep looking over our shoulders for signs of failures and fail to stay the course when confronted with problems. We also fail to work on ironing out our limitations, let them become excuses and sadly become slaves to our own anxieties.

Not accepting ourselves as we are.  Perhaps the one single cause for our inability to achieve the success we are capable of is our inability to acknowledge our self worth. We are terrified of our limitations, under value our strengths, are unclear about our goals and search for answers to our problems around us. The reality is that we create a bigger problem than what exists and instead of seeking the simple answers that are within us refuse to accept the individuality we are blessed with.

Remember you are both the sculptor and the sculpture; it is never too late to chisel away at yourself and let out the individuality in you.

Try this:

  1. Write down 3 role models. Now outline 3 qualities / abilities in them that you envy and can adopt or adapt for your personal growth. Can you identify 2 traits / weakness in the role model that you detest?
  2. Write down 2 personal habits/ traits/ limitations that you would like to get rid of. Outline a month long plan to reduce / eliminate at least one of these 2 limitations.
  3. Given your personal and academic background, what is your dream job/ business venture?  What steps do you need to take to attain that? What are the 2 biggest stumbling blocks and the 2 major gains you attain in achieving them?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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