Category: Forgiveness

On this road called life…

On this road called life…

Life is an ongoing journey, apparently on a road that has no end. For the pessimist it looks like a perennial journey filled with woes and challenges. For the optimist it offers never ending opportunities. The fact is that on the road called life, there are both challenges and opportunities but more importantly one needs to know that the ride stops sometime and it is best that we live life to the fullest. It doesn’t matter if you are an optimist or a pessimist; what matters is how you have journeyed through your life.

As long as the ride goes on, every individual has a responsibility to himself and to all those in his circle of influence to fully utilize the ride to make one’s own life as well as those of the people around better, happier and fulfilling. At the same time, the bad times that everyone is prone to have occasionally should not overwhelm and dishearten anyone. In fact, bad times are a good reminder that on the road of life there are bumps that one needs to watch out for. One cannot be perennially euphoric about the sudden spurts of good fortune or tidings of happiness that will come our way. However, one must learn to enjoy and value such moments for the same moment will never be repeated. Be gratefully for your blessings but never forget to share that with others.

At times our troubles are caused by others. Some create it unknowingly; others create it accidentally and a few heap troubles deliberately. Much as we are tempted to take revenge or at least teach the person a lesson, it is best we forget about the troubles the said person caused. However, it is prudent to remember the incident so that we do not get into a similar situation and get worked up again. Never forget to learn the lessons from troubles and failures. Perhaps you will realize your faults that led to it. That is a lesson, the learning from which should remain lifelong with us.

Finally there is a reality that people, including us change over time. Our best friends may drift away from us or we may acquire new friends and old friends fade into the background. Sometimes close friends may turn cold and occasionally hostile. That is the nature of the law of change. There is nothing constant, except what we make a determined effort to keep constant in our responses, reactions and relationships.

Ultimately the quality of our ride on the highway of life is nothing but what we make of it. If we decide to make it a life changing positive experience, that is what you will always encounter. If we groan, moan and grudgingly welcome each new day, then that is the type of life one will witness and experience.

The ride goes on; enjoy it while it lasts.

Try these:

  1. What two things do you wish you could have changed in your life? How would it have changed you for the better?
  2. Can you recollect a friend from whom you have drifted away? Can you point out three mistakes that you made that hastened this drifting away?
  3. What are the two changes you will bring about in your life to ensure you enjoy each day that unfolds?
  4. List out the following:
  • A song that uplifts your spirits
  • A movie that resonates with you and charges you up
  • The one moment of your life that you cherish immensely
  • The one act that you did which is still a heartwarming memory for you

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

First things first

First things first

In life there are times when we know what must be done to rectify a situation but either our ego or the fear of retribution or the anxiety of embarrassment hold us back. Yet, on hindsight, we do realize that the benefits of being first to rectify the situation far outweigh the short term concerns that prevent us from doing what is right. Three of the most classic cases of us suffering more for our procrastination in not taking the right step are as under:

Apologizing – The first to apologize is the bravest –  Our fear of retribution or occasionally our ego  will often over ride our sense of justice and we would often delay offering an apology for a mistake we have made or an injustice (albeit mistakenly ) committed. Yet the moment you decide that an apology is warranted and that too quickly, if you can gather the courage to apologize by  stifling the fear and/ or ego, you will realize that it is the bravest decision that you would have taken. Often it is also a very emotionally fulfilling decision because you would otherwise have to carry the guilt around. Mistakes happen to the best of us; however it is the bravest who can quickly apologize and seek forgiveness for the mistake.

Forgiving – The first to forgive is the strongest. – Our petty mindedness would trigger our ego and forgiving a mistake and accepting an apology would become a very difficult proposition. Unnecessarily we believe that by forgiving we are lowering our prestige or letting another go scot-free. The truth is that it takes a lot of courage to pardon someone who has knowingly or unknowingly hurt or troubled us. If we take an eye for an eye approach we would be carrying a burden of acting differently from what we really are. Instead by forgiving one who seeks forgiveness we would have displayed our moral courage and large heart. Forgiveness is a display of good character, sound values and the courage to do the right thing.

Forgetting – The first to forget is the happiest – If one nurtures a grudge, holds a past hurt to fuel fire to take revenge or allow ourselves to be consumed by rage and anger, it takes a toll on our mental peace, physical health and destroys our personal tranquility. For the hurt you feel, the disappointments you face because of others, the bad times that have overwhelmed you and the nagging need to get even with others, only results in you carrying an unseen burden within. Let go of that burden by forgetting the torments, the tormentors and the past and your heart, mind and body would feel lighter, less burdensome and certainly more relaxed. You will be a man with no worries; the person who is happiest.

Try these:           

  • Think of the time when you apologized for a mistake and you were not forgiven. What could be the reason for the other person not willing to forgive you?
  • What is the hurt/ anger/ guilt that you are still carrying around? Why is it that you are not able to forget the incident or forgive the person who hurt you?
  • If at all you have any painful memories of the past, how have you coped with it? Have you tried forgiving and / or forgetting it or the perpetrators if any ?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Create your own rainbow

24- 8 Jul 17- Create your own rainbowWith the monsoons already arriving, most days seem like Monday’s; dull, gloomy and too tempting to laze around in bed. Yet, it is time to get up and get going and the process is just a tad too boring and uninspiring. Just as the wonders of the rainbow appear in the monsoon, await the rainbow each day and there would perhaps also be a pot of gold at the end of it to lure you to energetically look forward to each day.

Look for things that brighten the day – it could be the chirping of the birds, the sunlight that is streaming in, the laughter of children playing, the pealing of the temple and/or church bells. The key is to look for things that make you happy, contented and peaceful. It is a proactive responsibility that you must take on in order to change your own world.

See the variety of positives that you are blessed with – Make a conscious effort to over look  the hurt, the pain, the sadness of the past and instead focus on the blessings you have been bestowed. Good health tops the list, financial security, a loving world of family and friends, the comfort of a blessed home perhaps and a secure job too maybe.

Smile, forgive, listen, appreciate, thank – This is such an easy formula to memorize; a tough one to put in practice but the easiest to embrace once you have consciously adopted it. Each of it helps you exhale the toxic within and inhale the pure clean emotions.

Embrace love, laughter, hope and faith – Just as a good diet and exercise is a choice you make, add a heap full of love, a ton of laughter, perennial hope and unwavering faith to your daily mantra. You will find yourself empowered, optimistic and energetic to make your presence felt in the world and to make a positive difference around you.

Spend time with family, nature, self – Since we are social animals, we need to connect with other,  the world around and with ourselves. Spend time with family and friends. Spread good cheer and goodwill amongst them. They would seek to spend more time with you. Nature helps us embrace the spectrum of life; the flora and fauna, the sheer variety of wildlife and the beauty of the hills and valleys, the rivers and the seas, the changing seasons. Spend time thinking, reflecting and connecting to inner self. Never forget you are world yourself; filled with emotions, thoughts, feelings and passion.

Find silence despite the noise, find order despite the chaos and discover peace within despite the turbulence around –  Life is full of noise, chaos and turbulence. In our journey through life, we must be able to filter out and choose everything that would make our journey more pleasant, comfortable and enjoyable. Learn to enjoy silence; then you will master the art of finding it despite the noise around. Like getting through a maze, look hard at the chaos around; anger, frustration, hurt are some  feelings that you need to get past before you get out of the maze and reach peace, tranquility and bliss.

Look back with fondness, look forward with hope and be awake in the present Every day there must be something pleasant to reminiscence about, a goal set to give meaning and purpose to each day and one must make each moment count by being mentally and physically alert and active.

Notice how you have created a beautiful rainbow for yourself. The success, satisfaction, happiness, contentment and the peace that you get is the pot full of gold at the end of your rainbow.

Try these

  • List out 3- 5 colors that you like.  Look around you and for each color you chose, write down at least 2 objects having that color. Did you notice the color of those objects earlier. Do you notice the rainbow of colors around you?
  • Sit with your eyes closed for 5 minutes. Identify the various noises around you. Also imagine the aroma of your favorite food. Can you feel the rainbow of myriad sounds and aroma that you normally take for granted.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The secret to great relationships

20- 4 June17 -A great relationship

If you look at the friendships you have made over the many years of your life, what stands out is the fact that you have and equation with your friends which is often very ironical. There are things about your friend that you love and that is the reason for the bonding and yet there are habits/ mannerisms/ behavior / style of your friend that you dislike, possibly abhor and yet you overlook them. Friendships thrive on these differences and how individuals manage to reconcile these juxtapositions holds the key to endearing and enduring relationships.

It is possible that in many relationships it is differences between individuals is what triggers attention to each other but ultimately it is the similarities that bring about a confluence of appreciative emotions. In most cases though, it is the similarities in thought and approach that helps bonding and the respect for differences cements these bonds. Excellent relationships are all about managing these juxtapositions.

Good relationships are cemented stronger if both the appreciation of similarities and the respect for differences are expressed; the former more vigorously the latter more diplomatically. The latter is a tad tougher to express for it always carries a possibility of being misunderstood or being seen as a reproach and hence viewed as an indictment. This can bring about a wedge in relationships and hence has to be expressed very selectively and cautiously.  The differences are accentuated in criticisms, puns, sarcasm and disagreements. Hence it is important to be aware of the potential lethal effects of using any of the above in words or deeds.

Honesty in the relationship ensures there is greater understanding. However, brutal honesty can be damaging. Disagreements and differences of opinion are essential to retain the individuality of the people in a relationship. It is the individuality of the parties in a relationship that makes the communication, the interaction and the engagement in a relationship unique and interesting. The similarities between two individuals is what cements the relationship for there is a commonality of understanding, purpose and respect born out of appreciating the commonalities in each other.

Try these

  1. What are your three strengths that you think your friends appreciate in you? What are your three traits you think others find it hard to reconcile with or do not appreciate in you?
  2. What are the similarities and differences you note in the following people
  • Your siblings / cousins
  • Your three friends at work
  • Your three colleagues with whom you bond easily.
  • Your three best friends
  • Your classmates in school/ college with whom you meet up occasionally

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Create magic moments

16- Make moments count

Some of us get frustrated waiting for the right moment, there are others who lament and rue those moments they missed taking advantage of and then there are plenty of us who wonder what the right moment ever is. Each breathe we take, is a moment that is all ours to utilize. Yes even the sleeping hours can be profitably used to dream up new effective plans, provided of course we go to bed with such an objective in mind. In reality, the fact that we go to bed with thoughts of attaining something worthwhile, gives us a clue as to what to do in our waking hours, to pursue that worthwhile goal. However unlike our every breathe that is automatic, capturing the right moment is actually possible only with effort. We need to first work on creating the right moment, and then be aware of the perfect time to make our move and grasp those moments and make it memorable.  So now ask yourself what was the most memorable moment of today?

Picture / visualize what you want. You create moments only when you have a purpose and goal to attain. Without it, we would never be an evolved animal but merely a specie like the rest of the animal kingdom who live merely from meal to meal with evolutionary diversions being a bonus moment in the humdrum of everyday living.  Man/ woman (human race in general) alone is blessed with the privilege to create wonderful moments to experience, share and reminiscence. In daily life, these moments will never be as dramatic as winning a contest or getting an award or breaking some records etc. Yet, we can create and cherish those moments daily by focusing on how we can contribute in our own little way to making the world around us a wee bit better each day.

Here are some things we can do daily to create those magic moments

Spread positivity – Yes there is a lot wrong with the world around. Yet the world has survived many doomsayers prophesies. So seek out the good around, be optimistic, focus on what is going on right. Go around spreading cheer, giving hope, sharing your enthusiasm, injecting a spirit of pride in those we come in contact with daily.

Stand up for your beliefs/ values – Standing up for what we perceive as right or for the values we hold dear is challenging, for there would be many others holding a different and possibly conflicting point of view. It is essential therefore that we are heard aloud, our point of view articulated clearly, our arguments unbiased and rationale and that we are willing to listen to others who may not share our views. We may not come to a definitive conclusion but we certainly won’t be steamrolled or let a brute majoritarian viewpoint be imposed de facto. That would be the moment that you create for the world to see your individuality.

Be there for others – At some stage in life each of us requires help from others. Seek out those who need such support and reach out to them. It could be someone struggling to take a decision, someone who is lonely and scared, it could be someone wanting to share a thought or fear or it could be someone wanting acceptance. Simply being polite, well mannered, being a good listener is all it takes to make those magic moments for others and yourself.

Act decisively to bring change – All of us have complaints. Can we start doing something about our grievances? Start working on finding solutions to our grievances and soon we would be  getting others to join us in the quest of a solution not merely lamenting about our problems. You would create that moment by acting decisively to bring about change rather than joining the chorus of complainants.

Appreciate and encourage – At a more simple and personal level, you can create moments by appreciating others who have achieved something and encouraging those who are yet to fulfill their potential. Appreciation and encouragement are very fulfilling when one does it spontaneously, means it genuinely and gives of it freely. Look out for opportunities to spread such cheer and optimism daily.

Pardon and forgive – If we feel wronged we find it hard to pardon and forgive those who we see as perpetrators of the injustice. As a result, long after the event has passed, we still nurture a grievance, secretly hope to avenge it and want to plot the others downfall or atleast get a vicarious pleasure in their suffering.  Yet it is that moment when we can forgive and pardon that will set us at peace, free us from a mental bondage and create a moment of personal exhilaration.

Accept and let go – Some events will overwhelm us. We cannot turn the clock back and yet we either live in denial or we seek comfort in lamenting ‘if only’. The moment we let go of the crutch of denial or lament, we would make dramatic progress in leading a happier, fulfilling and meaningful life. Accept the mistakes of the past, let it remain in the past, focus on the opportunities ahead and the enormous potential you have to make life even more wonderful. It is that moment you create that will transform you into the person that you really are meant to be.

Try these:

Go to a vantage point like a street level café in a crowded market place or a bustling railway station or bus terminus and simply observe the people passing by. Pay attention to those walking slowly, those lingering, those looking lost and confused, those on the verge of tears. Be grateful for your more well off life and attempt to mitigate the misery of one such person you notice.

Go and visit an elderly friend or relative who is seeking company or visit the sick in the hospital nearby. Perhaps you can  visit a home for the physically/ mentally challenged and create some magic moments for them too.

Maybe you would like to write or speak to someone who you could not pardon or someone who you would like to appreciate. Maybe you can volunteer for a movement about which you are passionate but have not yet committed. Is there a regret that you want to let go off and walk away from. Write it down and then tear it up and trash it.

Learn to create those moments that you will cherish henceforth! Go forth and be blessed with magic moments and timeless memories.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Favorite Hello and hardest Goodbye

8 - 6 April 15-Favourite hello and hardest goodbyeVisualize the favorite person in your life. You will immediately appreciate the meaning of today’s post. What is more important is YOU attempting to be the favorite person for other people. It is possible for you too to have a positive impact on those around you or those who directly or indirectly come in contact with you. So here is what you need to do to make a difference in the lives of people who connect with you.

Smile – The quickest connect that a human being can make with another is through a smile. As they say a smile costs nothing, it adds to your own face value and it is a curve that straightens a lot of things. You would much rather meet a person with a smile than one with frown; the same is true for every individual. For sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Appreciate – By nature we often let our attention focus on what is wrong, what is missing or on what is irritating or unpleasant. We expect things to be in order, an individual to be affable and situations to be convenient. However, if we ask ourselves how we manage to keep things in order including our own mood swings we would realize that is a tough task and more importantly an unappreciated happening. Don’t you crave for a little appreciation? So why not appreciate others? For sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Listen – We all have our thoughts and would love to air our views to anyone who would listen without interrupting. Do we not seek out good listeners and gravitate towards them? Ask if many are also keen to meet up with you or spend time with you because you too are a good listener. Listening is more than just patiently hearing but genuine listening is heightened when you can disagree without being disagreeable and you seek and get clarifications from the communicator. For sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Thank – It is a genuine gesture that conveys gratitude. Good upbringing will over time train us to say thank you but it is the feeling conveyed with warmth, the emotion touching the other and the profoundness of gratitude that is felt that makes thanks more than just a formality. A hearty thanks is best conveyed through the look in the eyes, the warmth of the handshake or touch and the tone of the communication. Start the conversation with a thanks and for sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Accept – Far too often we tend to ignore those who we do not like, those who we perceive as overbearing or dysfunctional in our terms of reference or those who have physical / mental / emotional challenges. We also tend to ostracize people who do not meet our standards, those who we perceive to have an attitudinal problem or are opinionated or those who are loud, have a awful dress sense or are tardy and sloppy. In reality most of these people just need our understanding which begins with us accepting them as they are. Once you accept them then we obliterate our prejudices, our biases, our resentments and it then allows us to see them for what they are warts and all. It will give us a fresh perspective and more importantly give them hope, respectability and a feeling on kinship. Goodbyes for them will always then be hard for they are bound to miss you when the time comes to part.

Reach out – There are so many people around us who crave for attention, understanding, a sympathetic listening and a loving touch. Yet we would rather take care of our own immediate concerns and give such people a wide berth. Think of times when you felt alone, misunderstood, ignored or shunned; didn’t you yearn for companionship and understanding? Do you recollect those who spontaneously shared your troubles and halved it, those who stood by with you and made you feel stronger those who encouraged you when you felt all was lost. Do you miss them now? You too can reach out to others and just let them know you are there for them. Goodbyes for them will always then be hard for they are bound to miss you when the time comes to part.

Forgive – To forgive is often considered a weakness and so thoughts of revenge and an eye for an eye often seem the logical step. Yet forgiveness is an extremely tough act for it takes a lot of resolve, a higher level of enlightenment and a very big heart to pardon a wrong doer. Pardon is what we always sought when we erred. Do you recollect the relief and exhilaration that we experienced when we let off the hook for our misdemeanors. You now know the power of forgiveness. Forgive those who have wronged you and goodbyes for them will always then be hard for they are bound to miss you when the time comes to part.

Love – Just four alphabets but they encompass life itself. Love unconditionally like a parent, love deeply like a lover and love without any bias like a pet dog would love its master. Actually true love has no shades but we imagine the hues. Love another and goodbyes will always then be hard and YET when the time comes to part we still stay connected though the bond of love.

Try these:

  1. Identify / recollect atleast one incident in your life where you experienced a few of the above emotions.
  2. Rank the following in the order of ease of forgiveness with which you can forgive the offender.
  • An urchin grabs your wallet / purse at a crowded market place and vanishes into the crowd.
  • A drunk harasses you at the railway station
  • A rash driver knocks you down and then abuses you while speeding away
  • A former classmate who you lend some money refuses to pay up and does not entertain your telephone calls.
  • You are unable to accede to request for a loan from a friend and soon you hear that she/ he has been bad mouthing you.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Adjust your lens and see the world differently

2-18 Jan 15 The world you seeUnlike a camera that we use to focus on the image we want to capture, our eyes and our mind tend to wander, largely ignoring the wonders around us and often seeing things in a critical light. As a result we tend to mainly notice the ugly, the evil, the negative and the disheartening which in turn makes us frustrated, critical and whiners about everything around us. While it is true, that there is ample unpleasantness that we are subjected to, overlooking the brighter side of life would make us despondent and anxious. More importantly we fail to allow the wonders of life soothen our spirits, cheer us up and discover the elixir of life.

To focus better you need to adjust the lens of your heart first and the eyes will soon focus more clearly. Adjusting the lens of your heart involves 4 steps

Being grateful – Just being alive is a miracle for every day we read a number of obituaries and we also become aware of so many others who are not as fortunate as us. While that is big miracle we are also fortunate to be well educated, economically far better off than the vast majority, enjoy reasonably good health, have the love of family and friends and have the courage and hope to improve our life. Have you taken all these for granted or are you consciously grateful for the numerous gifts you are bestowed with. Once you can identify all that you are grateful for you have already begun to adjust the lens of your heart.

Seeking joy – Joy is found in the simplest of things provided we seek them out. The new bud or the blooming flower in the garden, the chirping of birds, the appearance of the rainbow is natures of way of providing you joy. The gurgle of a child, the giggle of a teenager, the hug of a friend and the blessings of elders are joyful bonuses given to you to make you feel richer even when you don’t have a dime in your wallet. Find joy in drinking a refreshing glass of water, in the unexpected lift you got to a far of destination, in an unexpected email from a long lost friend . Soon you will graduate to saying ‘ it could have been worse’ and find joy even in your time of trails and grief. The lens of your heart is now focusing even more clearly.

Sharing more – Give of your time, your talents and your possessions and the joy these bring are immeasurable. A smile costs nothing and the same is true of a word of encouragement and appreciation. Making a sick visit or a visit to an elderly and lonely person would bring the other person joy for sure and double your own joy too. Nothing stops you from giving away what you don’t need; it also helps clear clutter not to mention that is will surely help you experience the joy of having done a good deed. Go and volunteer for that is when you commit what you really value- your time; for it can never be replaced. Your heart is clearly filling up with joy for the lens just needs a slight adjustment now.

Be forgiving – You can never experience joy if you carry a hurt, nurture a grudge or seek revenge. Letting go of the past, letting bygones be bygones and being magnanimous enough to forgive would be both a test of character and the key to happiness. No sooner you let go of the negative emotions and feelings and whole heartedly forgive those who have wronged you, the last bit of blur in the lens of your heart clears up. You can now see the world around you in its pristine glory, appreciate fully the blessings showered on you, acknowledge with pride and a joyful heart that ‘life is wonderful’!

Try it now no matter what your age, gender or status; awaken and experience a new person.

Try this:

  1. List 2 ways in which you will give of your time, talent and possessions. Put a deadline in which you will implement each of your 6 commitments.
  2. Choose from this list of activities and attempt to do at least 3 in the coming 3 months
  • Volunteering to help in clearing up a hill slope / river front / an open space
  • Donating blood at a blood donation drive
  • Signing up for eye/ organ donation
  • Spending half a day at least at an old age home/ orphanage / prison/ mental asylum/ school for the blind / a home for the physically challenged
  • Teaching at a school for the under privileged
  • Organizing a fund raiser for any one of the above activities
  • Seeking pardon from someone whom you have wronged and apologizing for the anguish you caused the person

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Why carry your own hell with you?

16-30Aug14-Hell is something you carry with you

If you are frequently troubled by or experience being restless, despondent, worried, anxious, fearful, irritated, dejected then this post is a must read for you. The fury, heat and carnage of hell is already being experienced by you now; can hell get any worse? Therefore you need to ask yourself the question how can I make my present life more joyful, liberating and fulfilling. The answer lies in eliminating many of the toxic feelings and thoughts that we are prone to get addicted to as a result of challenges, failures, rejections that we may have been subject to or visualize as being part of our fate.

Get rid of the following and you will never be carrying your personal hell in mind or spirit.

Anger –Anger is a self destructive bomb we carry around. It can explode leaving behind not just a mass of debris but that debris would include you too. Walking around with anger inside, shuts of our ability to be discerning, appreciative or forgiving. This is akin to being a pressure cooker without a release outlet. Our rage within imbalances our physiology as well as our psychology. We are consumed from within.

Jealousy – A jealous person is always comparing. The comparisons are invariably futile for the other person will still have what he/ she has but we will be still wanting for more. Jealousy can also trigger one to take irrational decisions, take away our attention from our abilities and instead waste our energies on plotting against others and most of all it makes us restless.

Greed – Greed is the trigger for jealousy. Our greed makes us crave for more. It makes us pine for what we do not have. It makes is feel inferior to others who have what we too would covet. Greed embroils us in a confusion between desires we cannot afford and the temptation to take dubious means to fulfil our desires. Greed adds to our pain of us feel inadequate as compared to others.

Revenge – Getting even with someone who has wronged us is a boiling cauldron within us that is called revenge. Revenge blinds us to the consequences of our action. More dangerous is the fact that when obsessed with the thoughts of revenge we forget that we are wilfully endangering ourselves. Revenge enslaves us by binding us with a frenzy and fury of our own making.

Deceit – Making a quick buck or gain is never easy. Yet we are tempted to attempt that. Except when one gets lucky like winning a lottery or getting an inheritance making wealth is the result of hard work. However many a time we are tempted to indulge in a little deceit to make some gains. It could be cheating the tax man or betraying the trust of another or deliberately conning another. Deceit will disturb our peace of mind in more ways than one. From feeling guilty to being fearful of getting caught or having to suffer the retribution of those cheated, we are always on tenterhooks.

Telling lies – This is the most common and frequently indulged trap we fall in. Lying to others may occasionally help save our skin but it is fraught with the risk of being exposed. A lie is heavy burden on our conscience and pricks us often. The worst lie is the one we tell ourselves. By refusing to accept our faults, by failing to acknowledge our weakness and by ignoring the fair and honest criticism given to us by our elders and well wishers we are only lying to our self. These lies compound and act as sores in our conscience that are always festering.

Try this:

  • You are approached by a very good friend for a major contribution to a charity. You already have many commitments over the next few months and you do not want contribute anything. What will you tell the friend? 
  • Your colleague at work has suddenly been given a plush car and a huge increment. You have no idea what the reason for such largesse by the management is. At the same time in the appraisals you have been given accolades by the management. How will you react to this situation? 
  • Your bachelor uncle who lived with you died after a prolonged illness. Your family has spent a lot time and money and sacrificed a lot to take care of him. In his will he has bequeathed his massive property to you and your family. However verbally he has told you a number of times that 5 % of the share in the property must be given to charity and 20 % to a cousin. Neither the charity concerned is aware of it and your cousin has never cared to inquire about the uncle. Would you happily abide by your uncles instructions or prefer to go by the will.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in

Be the first to make a difference to your life by…

14-17Aug14 -Standing first in lifeMistakes happen and when we realize it, we are often tempted to keep it under wraps. The logic used is that perhaps the mistake will never be noticed. Invariably though, mistakes do get noticed and the consequences are not too pleasant. The worst mistakes are those we make in our relationships. Here invariably we cannot hide the mistake but equally true is the realization that the mistake can strain and possibly break a relationship. It takes a lot of courage therefore, to admit to a mistake and apologize for it. We will be greatly relieved once we admit our mistake and sincerely apologize for it for that is when we discover our inner strength and character which in turn makes us brave enough to own up our fault. The consequences notwithstanding, be the first to admit to a mistake and apologize; for that is when your values and upbringing prop you up and define your personal and moral courage.

If you put yourself in the shoes of someone against whom a mistake has been committed, the natural reaction is to fly into a rage, seek revenge and hold grudges. Assume further that the mistake committed is by someone very close to you then you will definitely be seething with anger. If the other party has been brave enough to admit a mistake and apologize for the same, your character, upbringing and values will be severely tested at this point. How you react will be the defining moment for you. If you are harsh, rude and stubbornly unforgiving, it will belittle your personality. On the other hand if you can keep your rage in check, remain calm and composed when listening to the apology and thereafter magnanimously accept the apology and forgive the wrong doer, it will be testimony to your core values and inner strength.

It is relatively easier to apologize and to forgive, but is almost impossible to forget a hurt or slight suffered. Revenge, ill will and an eye for an eye are the normal dictums that keep buzzing in our mind. Invariably then, it is impossible to get rid of the feeling of hurt and forget the incident that triggered our angst. Unfortunately we do not realize that keeping a hurt alive only gnaws us from the inside; it seethes, it simmers, it is like an acid that corrodes the very container it is stored in. If one can imagine the futility of keep in mind a past hurt it would be easy to forgive and forget. The bad memories once erased offer space for more positive and pleasant thoughts to reside in the recess of the mind. It helps flower within us the seeds of happiness. Count blessings, forget hurts and live happy!

Try this:

Recollect a couple of negative feedback given to you by your

  • Teachers
  • Colleagues
  • Friends
  • Bosses
  • Family
  • Do you think any or most of it were unjustified? Did it help you improve? Do you still carry a hurt or grudge about any of the above persons who gave you a negative feedback?

List out names of 3 people (other than your family members) who have had a deep positive influence on you. Recount at least specific incident that you cherish about your interaction with that person.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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Let your life reflect the beauty within you

13-3-Let your life reflect the beauty in you

By nature many of us tend to be modest and undervalue ourselves, possibly fearing that we would be branded egoistic. Then there are others who strut around displaying their brawn or brain or wealth partly to impress others but often to overcome some other shortcoming in them.  Of course there are many others who live an indifferent life, yearning to make an impact in the society they live in and hoping they get noticed. In reality, the world values and respects anyone who behaves, acts and demonstrates humane qualities, exemplary behavior and a sense of responsibility. This is perhaps the simplest and most natural way a normal human being should ideally respond, for each of us is born with the a multitude of virtues be it innocence, honesty, empathy, happiness and love.

Unfortunately the vices of the world, the pressures of survival and the craving to amass superimpose in our original self the artificiality of being worldly wise, attempting to be clever by half, walking the tight rope between reality and illusion and seeking self gratification at any cost. The once radiant self, the childlike innocence, the core values in us dissipate against the onslaught of the pressure to conform to the emerging standards of the society and environment around us. This change for the worse is reflected in our inability to be at peace with ourselves, our constant suspicion and apprehension of the world around us and our disgust, dislike and disapproval of people, circumstances and happenings around us.

Yet despite this gloomy and glum scenario, there is hope; hope that is well within your abilities and grasp; all it needs is YOU for you are the mirror that reflect backs what everyone else sees. Here are a few virtues which you can nurture and nourish to ensure that you live and reflect hope, harmony and   happiness where ever you are.

Smile. There is nothing so simple as smiling when your are happy, when you are at peace, when you want to lighten the mood, when you want to reach out to another, when you want to overlook and aberration by another, when the troubles seem overwhelming and when you want to experience bliss.  A smile relives the tensions, helps connect with another and gets others to experience your joy.

Respond. Reach out proactively, do something spontaneously, make things happen, take the lead, stand up to be counted, speak up to be heard, stand by a friend in trouble, confront the wrong doer, restrain your anger, realize your potential.

Give. Giving your time is perhaps the most challenging of all the gifts that you can give. Give unconditionally, give it free and give with grace be it time, money or love.

Accept. Accept with grace you faults, your mistakes, your limitations, the negative feedback and your punishments. More importantly accept your family, friends and colleagues as an extension of yourself, with all the limitations and imperfections that you have accepted of yourself.

Forgive. First learn to forgive yourself and get rid of the guilt of your past shortcomings, failings, mistakes and aberrations. Thereafter open your heart to those who have wronged you and forgive them their indiscretions and willful hurt they may have caused.

Love. If we have been stingy with this emotion, it is time we realized that this is one emotion that you will never run short of. Love yourself first, then those around, then go on to love your life as it exists, love the circumstances in which you are and love the miracle called life. Within those 4 alphabets lies the universal secret, that where there is LOVE Life Opens Virtuous Emotions.

Try this :

  1. For each of the 6 virtues enumerated above, outline one or two situations or people where you would find it extremely difficult to respond with the relevant virtue. Ask yourself if it is your ego that is the barrier or the hurt is too extensive or you fear a sense of defeat if you respond with a positive emotion?
  2. How would you relate/ respond/ react to the following
  • You are asked to identify a robber who has waylaid you and trashed you when robbing you.
  • You meet a former tyrannical boss who you feel has derailed your career at a social function.
  • You run into a former intimate friend with whom you had a bitter parting.
  • You meet a former teacher, who had mistakenly accused you of copying in an exam as a result of which your reputation took a severe beating.
  • During a family picnic you are forced to travel with a cousin in his/ her car whom you had accused of damaging your sports gear because of  which you and your cousin stopped talking years ago.
  • You bump into an old colleague at the city hospital who had borrowed a few thousand rupees for an emergency and who thereafter left your organization and never got in touch with you to return the money

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com