Category: Generosity

Take action and benefit

Take action and benefit

Here is a practical activity that we can attempt and be sure that each of us will gain from the experience and more importantly enjoy the direct fruits of our action. This post will focus on the action, your job is to take the action and the fruits of the action will be what you will get to relish.

Be generous – Being generous with your wealth is just a minuscule part of what you can be generous with. Your true generosity is in the time you give generously to people around especially those who crave your attention. You can be generous with your patience, your ability to listen, your ability to delay judgment etc. Be lavish with your praise, your appreciation and your ability to find something good in others.

Be cooperative – As social beings we need to learn to take the good with the bad, learn to live with the ironies that life puts before us occasionally and act with maturity when we have to make tough choices. Cooperation is not just about being agreeable but it also includes being able to disagree without be disagreeable. Cooperation is being in a minority but whole heartedly going with the majority decision.

Be enthusiastic –The major trigger for being enthusiastic is by having a good enough motivation to do what we have to do. In the absence of a good motivation, seek out something good about what you have to go through. It is cultivating the right spirit, displaying the right attitude and having the winners spirit spurring you on every moment. Let no failure dampen your enthusiasm, let no criticism demotivate you;  do what needs to be done with élan and panache.

Be serving – Services is not merely being useful to others or offering your help to others. Service should be a natural part of your upbringing. It encompasses varied aspects of your life right from displaying good manners, being considerate to others and being ready to shoulder responsibility whenever the need arises. Helping those who can never repay you back, voluntarily assisting those who you can, just doing what needs to be done no matter how insignificant a job it is are shades of service that we must be conscious of.

Try these:           

  • What were the most joyous memories that you carry? Do you think someone was generous and so you still have that sweet memory? Do you think the other person would also carry similar fond memories of those times?
  • Think of the time you disagreed but were overruled and then you had to participate in what was finally agreed upon? Did you give your hundred percent to the task? How did you feel at the end of the task? Remember the poem ‘ The charge of the light brigade’ ? https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45319/the-charge-of-the-light-brigade
  • Choose three boring tasks that are part of your job. How do you keep motivated to do it well? What are the boring jobs that you have to do in your regular personal life?
  • When was the last time your volunteered? Can you think of volunteering in a place you have never ever visited before?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Our purpose in life could be unique

Our purpose in life could be unique

Often friends and acquaintances have asked me what motivates me to write this blog. The quote today in many ways, aptly sums up the key motivation for me to write. I think, my writing and sharing matters to those who read it, especially those who have chosen to follow my blog and get the blog feed in their inbox. It is my belief, that I do make a difference, to many of those who read my blog. I am sure the same feeling is what drives others, be they artists, caregivers, teachers or volunteers to spend time pursuing what they do. For most a job is a job but for those driven to make a difference the value of their effort is never measured in numbers.

While engaging in what you do is at the core of how we inspire, ignite and spark the flame, what really makes the difference are the following:

Being passionate – Your passion and zeal are what generates the energy and motivation in those around you. Notice how a passionate teacher, a enthusiastic co-worker or a diligent boss energizes you do achieve the impossible. Go about your activities with enthusiasm, excitement and energy- you can be sure you will transmit it to those around. They will draw inspiration from you and that will ignite the spirit of enthusiasm in others.

Setting an example – Walking the talk is what sets the example for others to believe in and follow. It could be simple actions like carrying your own cloth bag or helping a challenged person cross the street or acknowledging someone who has done you a small favor. Being attentive to people who are talking to you, smiling when meeting a stranger on the subway or hotel lobby, being respectful to the waiter serving you are simple ways of setting an example especially to those who look up to you for the right values.

Encouraging – Everyone who falters on the first attempt tends to get discouraged. When they continuously slip they become despondent. They require encouragement. A clap, a word of encouragement, a wave of the hand in appreciation, a thumbs up, a pat on the back are little ways to fire up an individual. Next time you notice a first time speaker floundering, give him/ her a nod and a smile to indicate that they are doing good and just need to keep at it. It will make a difference to their performance. Have you realized how we encourage babies taking their first steps? We are more excited to see them making their first walk of faith. Yet, later we are the same people who do not share their passion for things they find amazing but those that do not meet our standards of sensibilities.

Listening – Have you ever noticed people, especially young kids talking in excitement? All they need is someone to listen to. Unfortunately most adults give them a casual hearing and often react with suggestions far removed from the tale the youngster is sharing. The simple act of listening and then responding with words of appreciation, encouragement and enthusiasm is what sparks and ignites the spirit of excellence in them.

Being non judgmental Many a time what others do may my complexly out of sync with our own tastes or sensibilities. However, we must suspend judgment and never react with our own views and thoughts. At times it takes time for us to understand the other person, many a time we cannot visualize what they can see and far too often we are too conservative to appreciate the risks others take. The best way to ensure the others are pepped up and given a nudge is by being non judgmental and being open minded to ideas, views, actions that may faze us temporarily. You may not really encourage because you cannot understand but do not discourage because you fail to understand the other person.

Try these:         

  • List out the three qualities of those people who have inspired you. Ensure one of them is a former teacher and if you have work experience, identify a former boss or colleague.
  • What is the one quality in you that others appreciate? Do you utilize that enough to inspire and enthuse those around you? What more can you do to fire the spark in people, especially children and youngsters?
  • Think of two instances where it was the example or encouragement of someone else that helped you reinvent yourself and achieve whatever you are proud of.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Each of us has a lot to be grateful for. The mere fact that I am writing this and you are reading this means we are alive, we are blessed with the gift of sight, understanding and literacy and fortunately we also have the time and energy to pore over the contents of the blog. Do we really value these blessings or do we take them for granted. Do we focus only on the special things that we get out of the blue like winning a lottery or getting an unexpected bonus or promotion or topping an exam? Fact is that we have much to be grateful for. The little things we take for granted, the wonderful surprises that come our way and for the limited pain and hurt we occasionally endure. The bigger benefit of being grateful for however lies in the fact that practicing gratitude daily fills us with an overpowering sense of bliss, which comes because of the following:

Shift in perspective – For many of us, our natural tendency is to look at the negatives around us. This is partly to do with a primal instinct of self preservation from all dangers. However, over time this tendency to look at negatives has been so deeply ingrained in us, that we fail to notice the wonders around us. Apart from being  the most intelligent of the species in nature, human beings are gifted with abundantly more blessings that will allow one the luxury of drawing in happiness. However, this is possible only when one shifts focus from negatives to positives. By taking in a dose of gratitude each morning, the blessings in life suddenly become more visible, more tangible and more available for each of us to enjoy. It is a drastic shift in perspective triggered by practicing gratitude each day.

Feeling of abundance – One weakness of the human race is the tendency to compare with other human beings; be it our wealth, out looks, our intelligence or what we perceive as social status. No sooner one starts comparing with others, there is an overwhelming feeling of deprivation, of lack of something, of a longing for what others have and the desire and craving for more. What we forget in the process is that we are taking for granted an abundance of blessings we are gifted with. Our abundance is in every sphere; good health for most of us, a loving family life, great friends, adequate or more food, clothing and shelter etc. It is only when one practices gratitude that we begin to consciously pay attention to the abundance each of us has.

Decrease of fear and anxiety – The greatest benefit of practicing gratitude is that with the shift in perspective and the feeling of abundance, there is an immediate decrease of fear and anxiety. We know that our blessings far outweigh our concerns, that life has much more to offer than pure material wealth and that tomorrow is another day that one needs to take in her/ his stride. Each morning becomes a wondrous expectation for the day that unfolds will bring with it plenty of surprises; most of which are pleasant but then a few challenges/ pain will also be part of the day. By viewing things in the correct perspective and knowing that we are amply blessed, practicing gratitude is an extraordinary way of living life in bliss.

Try these:           

  • List out the three greatest blessings that you cherish.
  • What was your greatest emotionally painful moment? How did you cope with it? What was good about that painful moment?
  • Who are the three most important people in your life? The challenge is to restrict yourself to just 3 people. Have you told them how grateful you are for what they mean to you?
  • As I was writing this blog, I received a Wattsapp forward which I thought was apt for sharing with the readers of this post. I am attaching it, as it is, in a Word Document file. There is an Arabic Translation or possibly it is the original source and I have retained it for those who would better connect with it. Click on this link to read it. 18-30 -08 Oct 18- Gratitude_Message_30_08 Oct 18

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Is this your life’s mission ?

16-29 Jun 15- Is this your life's missionLife is a constant challenge but not an impossible one. In fact with a little imagination and a lot of self belief, life can be made truly interesting the challenges notwithstanding. Just look around and you will find so many people happy and smiling. Very many of them would possibly be not so fortunate as you in terms of education, knowledge, financial well being, personal health etc. and yet they all know how to laugh despite their many challenges. The real challenge though is not merely to exist but to live and thrive with aplomb. To make that happen ensure you have an abundance of

Passion – Passion comes from within you; the depth of your emotions is the measure of your passion. The more positive emotions you feel very strongly about, the larger the intensity of your positive passions. Some negative emotions like anger at injustice, deep hurt felt when one fails, the competitive urge to succeed at all costs etc. also trigger passion that has a positive shade to it because it becomes an incentive to go for success. Passion is both a tremendous motivator as well as a source of unflagging energy that spurs one to action until one succeeds.

Compassion – This is passion for the less fortunate, the weak, the poor and the marginalized. This is a quality that grounds us to reality, allows us to explore the softer side of our personality and transforms us to being better human beings. Without compassion, we would be egoistic, uncaring, dictatorial, emotionless and cruel. We would almost turn out to be slave owners who saw the slaves as mere tools to meeting a personal end which is fueled by personal passion. Compassion allows one to experience empathy, stretches and exercises the heart muscles through the emotional pressure put on it and allows us a good reality check about how blessed each one of us is, as compared to the less fortunate around. Compassion brings balance and purpose to life.

Humor – A sense of humor is a vital quality that makes the human race so unique and special as compared to any other living specie. Humor is a bond that is perfect antidote to any pain. While physical pain can be alleviated with appropriate medicine humor is the all purpose balm that gives the quickest relief to psychological pain, worries, anxieties and nervousness. Humor not only calms the nerves but also peps one up with a sense of control, confidence and care freeness allowing the mind to be cool, calm and collected even in the most tense situations like in the case of an interview or when going for an operation. The ability to laugh at one’s own self is the highest degree of humor one can cultivate and sarcasm, poking fun at others and finding humor in another’s pain would be not only crass but counterproductive humor. Humor provides laughter to the heart and soul and when the heart and soul are happy, life becomes a breeze.

Style – Style is personalized statement that gives one a sense of unique identity. Style is often encapsulated in the outer presentation of person like the dress sense, the accessories, the perfume one uses etc. However style goes much deeper than that and is reflected in the mannerisms, the tone and tenor of communication, the behavior displayed in social situations, the control exercised when an emergency occurs and in substance of one’s interactions. Style is the living embodiment of upbringing, education and identity of an individual. It is an excellent barometer of the personality of an individual.

Try these:

  1. Identify 3- 5 activities / causes / concerns that you are passionate about. Now pick one of these and outline how you can substantially contribute to the same and commit both time and effort to it in an orderly and disciplined manner.
  2. Can you think of at least 3 favorite jokes. Go an share it with a friend, a sibling and a new acquaintance. Did you feel they appreciated the joke or only politely laughed? If you slipped on a banana peel on a crowded street, how would you react to the embarrassment?
  3. Observe people around you and jot down the unique style statement they convey. What style appeals to you and what is the style that your detest. Can you identify the specific reason / s for your likes and dislikes of a particular style. What is the most unique style statement for which you have been complimented for.?
  4. You would certainly have a tremendous feeling of compassion but would possibly not really know how to express it except perhaps to give alms to the beggars or feed some strays. Can you attempt the following?
  • Visiting an old age home and spend time with the inmates
  • Visiting a prison and trying to understand them
  • Spending time at an orphanage and playing with the inmates
  • Visiting an animal shelter and understanding how they work and what they do
  • Do visit a hospice and give solace to those in pain and fear.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Why carry your own hell with you?

16-30Aug14-Hell is something you carry with you

If you are frequently troubled by or experience being restless, despondent, worried, anxious, fearful, irritated, dejected then this post is a must read for you. The fury, heat and carnage of hell is already being experienced by you now; can hell get any worse? Therefore you need to ask yourself the question how can I make my present life more joyful, liberating and fulfilling. The answer lies in eliminating many of the toxic feelings and thoughts that we are prone to get addicted to as a result of challenges, failures, rejections that we may have been subject to or visualize as being part of our fate.

Get rid of the following and you will never be carrying your personal hell in mind or spirit.

Anger –Anger is a self destructive bomb we carry around. It can explode leaving behind not just a mass of debris but that debris would include you too. Walking around with anger inside, shuts of our ability to be discerning, appreciative or forgiving. This is akin to being a pressure cooker without a release outlet. Our rage within imbalances our physiology as well as our psychology. We are consumed from within.

Jealousy – A jealous person is always comparing. The comparisons are invariably futile for the other person will still have what he/ she has but we will be still wanting for more. Jealousy can also trigger one to take irrational decisions, take away our attention from our abilities and instead waste our energies on plotting against others and most of all it makes us restless.

Greed – Greed is the trigger for jealousy. Our greed makes us crave for more. It makes us pine for what we do not have. It makes is feel inferior to others who have what we too would covet. Greed embroils us in a confusion between desires we cannot afford and the temptation to take dubious means to fulfil our desires. Greed adds to our pain of us feel inadequate as compared to others.

Revenge – Getting even with someone who has wronged us is a boiling cauldron within us that is called revenge. Revenge blinds us to the consequences of our action. More dangerous is the fact that when obsessed with the thoughts of revenge we forget that we are wilfully endangering ourselves. Revenge enslaves us by binding us with a frenzy and fury of our own making.

Deceit – Making a quick buck or gain is never easy. Yet we are tempted to attempt that. Except when one gets lucky like winning a lottery or getting an inheritance making wealth is the result of hard work. However many a time we are tempted to indulge in a little deceit to make some gains. It could be cheating the tax man or betraying the trust of another or deliberately conning another. Deceit will disturb our peace of mind in more ways than one. From feeling guilty to being fearful of getting caught or having to suffer the retribution of those cheated, we are always on tenterhooks.

Telling lies – This is the most common and frequently indulged trap we fall in. Lying to others may occasionally help save our skin but it is fraught with the risk of being exposed. A lie is heavy burden on our conscience and pricks us often. The worst lie is the one we tell ourselves. By refusing to accept our faults, by failing to acknowledge our weakness and by ignoring the fair and honest criticism given to us by our elders and well wishers we are only lying to our self. These lies compound and act as sores in our conscience that are always festering.

Try this:

  • You are approached by a very good friend for a major contribution to a charity. You already have many commitments over the next few months and you do not want contribute anything. What will you tell the friend? 
  • Your colleague at work has suddenly been given a plush car and a huge increment. You have no idea what the reason for such largesse by the management is. At the same time in the appraisals you have been given accolades by the management. How will you react to this situation? 
  • Your bachelor uncle who lived with you died after a prolonged illness. Your family has spent a lot time and money and sacrificed a lot to take care of him. In his will he has bequeathed his massive property to you and your family. However verbally he has told you a number of times that 5 % of the share in the property must be given to charity and 20 % to a cousin. Neither the charity concerned is aware of it and your cousin has never cared to inquire about the uncle. Would you happily abide by your uncles instructions or prefer to go by the will.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in

Karma Cafe

13-2 August 14 -Karma CafeSo now that you have tried everything in pursuit of happiness which is still elusive, perhaps you have resigned to your fate or Karma, accepting that you have to make do whatever you are destined to. The good part is that it brings a closure to your yet fruitless pursuit. The bad part is that you find it still tough to accept the situation. The good news though is that there is still hope, for you can still get served what you deserve.

Instead of focusing on what you want, focus on how you can get to the right feast.

Ensure you get invited – This is a lot different from forcing yourself to a feast or getting invited by stealth. Step back and visualise who gets invited. It is invariably those, who the host has an urge to invite. This means that you need to be known to the host, you need to be accepted by the host as worthy of being invited and the host will miss your presence if you are unable to make it to the feast. To ensure that your karma is aligned to the hosts expectations from the guest, you need to work on your attitude, your character, your worth and you can then hope to get what you deserve.

Sit at a table – In a movie the balcony seats are prized most whereas for a play or musical the front seats are for the privileged. At a banquet you get served if occupy a table. Unfortunately there are no buffets in Karma Café so you can’t serve yourself. In Karma Café you choose and set the table by ensuring that thoughts and deeds are aligned to your personal betterment, the betterment of the society around you and by leaving the world a better place than what you inherited.

Don’t be greedy – At Karma Café you will never want for anything. However this is possible only when on your journey to Karma Café you have taken care of those along the journey with you, sacrificed for those in greater need and by not amassing and hording for yourself especially at a cost to others. If you fed the hungry, clothed the naked , visit the sick and befriend a stranger then you are well on your way to a sumptuous meal at Karma Café.

Be grateful and gracious – At a banquet the guests have little or no control over what is served. Long before you are a guest, you are a host for all those who you come in contact with. Be grateful for the privileges you have that can be shared with your guests and be lavish and gracious in sharing with them. Only then can you expect to be a privileged guest at Karma Café.

Do unto others as you want them to do to you is the one line philosophy of the Karma Café !

Try this:

List the names of 3 people who have annoyed you a lot. Find 2 reasons( for each person) and pardon them by removing your ill feelings towards them. It would be extremely beneficial for you to actually tell them that you have no ill will towards them.

Think of the worst act ( maybe dishonesty / perhaps lies you said / possibly grudge you hold etc) that you have ever indulged in. Think of ways to atone for it.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog poweract.blogspot.in

 

Guidelines to practical living…

13-8-Give_Love_Trust_Listen but

While platitudes sound very nice they are often very idealistic and thereby pose a practical difficulty in putting it in practice. Common sense would often gives us the power to discern and be pragmatic but we are prone to give in to our emotional self and thereby go overboard in sharing what we have with others. Today’s tips are guidelines to being better people, involved individuals and model citizens without feeling guilty or feeling victimized.

Give but don’t allow yourself to be used is the mantra that allows us to share all what we have in enough measure. Giving is not just about our worldly possessions or our money but involves sharing our time, our love and our talents with those around. So while we could be giving out alms, doling out for charity and helping others monetarily it should be done only after one has taken care of ones on domestic needs and responsibilities. Similarly one should not be so indulgent as to sacrifice all of one’s times and talents for others at the cost of neglecting those who are family, friends and colleagues.

Love but don’t let your heart to be abused merely focuses attention on the dangers of being blinded by our love be it for our own family members, our dearest possessions or our cravings. Many a wayward child has gone that way because of the indulgent love of their parents that prevented them from taking corrective action even if it was painful. Love is a complicated emotion that has a chamelenousque quality and can quickly change itself to lust, possessiveness, jealousy, obsession, hate to name a few. If any of the above emotions are noticed it is by and large a sure sign that the heart has been abused.

Trust but don’t be naïve is a warning that trust can be betrayed and that there is no point in feeling cheated. Con men for example operate on the theory that there are enough gullible people whose trust can be easily won over and abused. On the other hand one cannot go about suspecting everyone and thereby create an environment of distrust and suspicion. To find the balance one has to trust in another without having blind faith and be clear and decisive about when you would not allow trust to be the only measure of a healthy relationship.

Listen to others but don’t lose your own voice is a clarion call to have an independent thought process that can be articulated without fear or favor. By listening one keeps an open mind, learns to appreciate differing points of view and keeps one’s emotions in check no matter what the provocation. After all is said and done, the individuality in you should find its voice in the manner and way you demonstrate your independent thoughts, words and deeds.

Try this:

Find a way to GIVE of your time to raise funds and donate that to a charity of your choice.

List out 3 of your possessions that you LOVE very much. Now name 3 people known to you who would value any of those possessions if you gave it freely to them.

Name 3 characteristics of a person that would make you wary of them and not TRUST them. Amongst the people you interact can you think of someone you do not trust at all. Does that person demonstrate any of the characteristics you have outlined earlier?

Think of a person whom you know well but whose views you largely disagree with and someone you hate to LISTEN to. How do you express your disagreement to that persons views? How do you convey your views to that person?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Accept me as I am today…

Accept me as I am
Accept me as I am

Our human frailty makes us vulnerable to making mistakes and being condemned for it. It is also our human frailty that makes us so critical, harsh and cruel enough to perpetually condemn those who could have faltered but have atoned for their folly. Our frailty fortunately is not a unalterable trait for we are also blessed with the boon of change, the facility of realization, the temperament to atone and the capacity to make up and undo the damage. Yet when it comes to being charitable to others we take a moral high ground and end up admonishing and chastening the unfortunate souls who would faltered whilst traversing the pathway of life. Pause for a moment and ask yourself how you would like to be apprised by others; would you like them to pinpoint your past follies or would you desperately want them to focus on the your current achievements?

Class reunions are a wonderful occasion to look around and actually witness the progress and success that almost everyone has achieved. Yet time and time again, we tend to bring up many an unflattering incidence during the years of schooling relating to specific individuals, merely to have a good laugh without realizing that the person in question may have moved on life winning accolades and begetting a hallowed status in society. Again put yourself in the shoes of that individual who may have flunked a test or got caught cheating in an exam but thereafter by dint of hard work become very successful. Would you not like to be acknowledged for the success achieved and deeply resent being flogged for a juvenile mistake. The question is, are we as charitable to others as we would want them to be towards us?

It is possible that even as we read this post we are sure we would always be charitable to others and that the contents of the blog post is not applicable to us. You may be right, but ponder about your readiness to work alongside a rehabilitated convict. Would you readily employ a suspect in a crime even if he/ she has been acquitted of the crime? If these sound like extreme examples, look back and ponder over the times you have accused someone or tale tattled about someone merely based on hear say. There are shades of judging and convicting someone particularly someone who we are ill at ease with or someone whom we are not comfortable with.  How often have we passed judgment about someone merely based on their dress and physical appearance?

The best way to give people a second chance is by seeking the good in them and accentuating that. This is more easily achieved when we begin to appreciate that no one really wants to be a deviant and their follies could often have been committed either due to poor judgment or a moment of weakness or out of sheer desperation. We as individuals have every right and duty to exercise a judgment call when it is appropriate but we also have an obligation to give others reason to believe in themselves and turn over a new leaf.

Try this:

  1. Write down 5 qualities that best describe you. Now go around with a list of 25 positive qualities and ask your family, close friends, colleagues and acquaintances to choose 5 qualities that best describe you from that list . You will have a fair idea of how you perceive yourself and how others see you.
  2. Think of the following
  • The 3 most embarrassing moments of your life
  • The 3 serious acts of dishonesty you have committed
  • The 3 biggest lies you have said
  • The 3 wickedest thoughts that have occurred to you

Now assuming that someone knew about any or all of these how would you feel if reference was made to any of the above acts in public by that person?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Identifying people who have a positive influence

When one looks back on the days gone by, there will be some people and some incidents that you will recall with great fondness. Focus on these people whose memories always bring a smile to the lips and warmth in the heart and you will be transported to a world of nostalgia. If you correlate some of your successes with the influence these people have had on your life, you would be amazed at the volume of positive inputs they have given you. These inputs could be as varied as having full faith in you, encouraging you,  guiding in you, comforting you, giving you tips, empathizing with you, allowing you the freedom to pursue your passion, supporting you when you falter etc.

Here are a set of people who would be ideal people to associate with and benefit from.

Those close to you.  Beginning with parents and siblings, the list includes friends, colleagues, teachers and seniors. Of course it is possible that some of those close to you would find it hard to empathize with your thoughts and views but it is in your interest to give their counter point of view a hearing. The best part of their support is their response is always keeping your best interest in mind.

Those who have a natural flair to be cheerful and positive. Some of these people could be from the above list but it is equally possible that you do meet others who radiate positive energy. It could be trainers, motivational speakers, superiors from other departments, neighbors etc.

Those who you find knowledgeable, fair, impartial and open. These could include people in positions of authority like the principal of an institution or a senior academician, senior executives in your organization, experienced professionals, a friend’s parents etc.

Those who are good listeners.  Anyone who is willing to lend you an ear, pay attention to you and express interest in your thoughts, views, hopes and aspirations. They may counter question, raise objections, have a different point of view but as long as they pay a lot of attention to you, you can be sure their patience and genuine interest will accelerate your progress.

Those who display appreciation, give proactive encouragement and offer creative solutions. You often meet people from varied backgrounds, experiences and views at seminars, conferences, meetings etc. It is possible that they have some insights that are congruent to your line of thinking. If they display interest in your views, ask relevant questions and give encouraging feedback you can be sure you can profitably tap into their vast repository of knowledge, experience and wisdom.

Action Points:

  1. Make a list of 5 people at least 2 of whom are senior citizens and one of whom is younger than you who you believe would be excellent people to associate with and who would appreciate, understand and encourage you.
  2. Can you list out 3 of the best advice that you ever received. How did advice have a major bearing in your life?
  3. Who was the one person who offered you the best solace when you were very low or depressed? How and what did the person do or say to reassure you?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Apologizing is an amazing gesture

Among the most difficult choices one has to occasionally make, apologizing perhaps ranks pretty high on most people’s list. As honest, good and objective individuals we would unhesitatingly state that if we are on the wrong we will always offer an apology. The reality though is quite different.

Here are 4 reasons why we find it hard to offer a simple unconditional apology when required.

We find it hard to accept our mistake. E.g.  Despite a frantic search you are unable to locate your set of keys at home. You are in a rush as you are getting late for office. You have in your anger and frustration also accused all and sundry at home that they could have possibly had a hand in the disappearance of the keys. On reaching office you see the set of keys lying in the office drawer. You sheepishly think of apologizing to those at home but then let it pass for it would then mean accepting your mistakes; first of being responsible for the problem; for blaming those at home; for creating a scene etc.

We tend to play down the happenings and attempt to justify/ rationalize it. E.g. in an examination you have strategically placed you answer paper to let the candidate seated behind you copy from it. The invigilator who notices this tactical but unethical arrangement warns both the candidate behind you and you of stern action. You remonstrate that it is the person behind who is copying and that you are blameless.

We mistakenly believe that an apology is equivalent to admitting a fault. E.g. As children we have often squabbled with our siblings or playmates. When the situations got unruly the elders intervened and then there was a blame game that was never ending with no one wanting to apologize. The genesis is the mistaken notion that an apology immediately implies our guilt.

We pamper our ego and forget the importance of relationships. E.g.  We have under a mistaken notion launched a tirade against a subordinate who for fear of more drastic retribution meekly submits to the barraging. Later when we get the facts fully and realize our mistake find it ‘humiliating ‘ to admit our fault and worse still ‘apologize’ to a subordinate.

Here are 3 ways to smoothly embrace an apology as a mature decision.

Remember that saying sorry is the simplest form of apology. Sorry forms part of the trio of Please and Thank you which are the 3 magical words in English that smoothen life.

An apology often helps us start gain with a clean slate. While some scars may remain, the wound is by and large healed and ‘all is well that ends well’ since an apology puts an end to the hurt, resentment and anger that may have been in the air.

An apology at the appropriate time, to the right person in the right manner for the right reason, is a test of your character, a critical component of leadership and a reflection of your personality.

Here let me offer my apologies to…

You my reader for the long delayed post which was actually written 10 days ago. Unfortunately due an oversight I didn’t save the same and I lost the entire file when the computer crashed. What you are reading now is a completely new post than what was originally written.

I need to apologize to my immediate family members who had to bear the brunt of my wrath for the post that was lost to the computer crash. The fault was entirely mine, but in my human weakness I raved and ranted and unburdened myself on all those who unwittingly crossed my path in the immediate aftermath of my disaster.

My apologizes to a couple of well meaning friends who politely inquired about my posts but had to bear  the brunt of my ire for I  had been rather curt and brusque to them when narrating what happened. I think I was also selfish enough to expect more sympathy from them and perhaps that aggravated my irrational behavior at their well intentioned and polite inquires.

Try this:

  1. Name 3 people who deserve an apology from you. Pick up courage to apologize to them even if a lot of time has elapsed since the original event happened.
  2. Can you identify with some of these situations when you felt apologetic about your own response to the situation
  • You did not make enough efforts to cast your vote
  • You told a deliberate lie for fear of the consequences
  • You harbored ill will against someone who wronged you
  • You shielded someone from being justly punished/ reprimanded simply because you shared a close relationship or friendship with him/ her

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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