Category: Gratitude

Look back and be amazed

15-24 Aug 14 - A different take on TIMELooking back wistfully may not be a waste but looking back with regret is disastrous for the life ahead of you. When wistful, our thoughts go back to the pleasant memories of days gone by, the growing up years, the warmth and affection of loved ones, the lessons learned some perhaps in painful ways but each memory triggers a nostalgia tinged with sadness but filled with love. On the other hand, looking back with regret evokes a host of unpleasant, loathsome and burdensome thoughts each sending a stab of pain and anguish. We never seem to get over the ‘if only’ syndrome and add a garnishing of bad luck, stupid decision making and other peoples faults to make a pungent potion of an indigestible concoction which we refuse to spit out.

While the past cannot be changed we can certainly change our view of the past. Begin by taking stock of what you are blessed with today. It may be frugal, it may not be anywhere close to what we hoped to have but the fact is you still have it. Now focus on what you want to get. You can dream big no matter what your circumstances, for you are limited only by your dreams. So now you have a dream and a reality which outline for you your present and the future. The missing link is the past which has played a crucial role in helping you reach where you are. Now see the past as a bridge that allowed you to cross a chasm. You didn’t have much of a choice at that point unless you changed tracks to explore alternate routes. Having crossed the chasm the bridge is no longer there for you to reverse your steps so all that you can do is walk on.

Starting today, as you journey ahead, be aware that many of those unpleasant events of the past have actually nudged you in the right direction and enabled you to attain far more than you would ever have otherwise. Perhaps it was a failure that nudged you to pursue a different profession than what you had planned. In many cases we never had any plans and life was kind enough to lead you to where you are today. Starting today remember also that you have numerous choices ahead. Choose wisely for your choices today, will tomorrow become, the bridges you crossed yesterday. If you have a plan, a dream a goal you are better placed to make wiser choices. Youngsters reading this post be more aware that what you post on social networking sites could mar your career tomorrow for they reflect your personality, beliefs and attitude far more astutely than what you portray in an interview. If you have big dreams then think more clearly today about your values, your character and your convictions and let them come through in your choices.

Try this:

  1. Outline 3 decisions of the past that you would have taken differently. How would each of that decision impact your present? 
  2. Can you think of 3 incidents from the past which you hated/ regretted/ wished didn’t happen but latter realized that they actually benefited you in the long run. How did it benefit you? 
  3. What will you do when faced with the following circumstances?
  • You find a wallet with Rs.10,000 in it but no other papers or details of the owner of the wallet.
  • You are driving out of a parking lot and you were distracted by a call on your mobile. Unfortunately you rammed into a parked Mercedes car. The damage to the other car is significant but fortunately for you there are no attendants around and you can drive away without being noticed.
  • Your roommate is out of town and you borrowed his /her camera when going for a picnic. The camera slipped from your hands and has stopped functioning. There is no external damage marks on the camera.
  • Your best friend at work has requested you to tell a lie to cover up for her /his unauthorized absence from work.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in

Karma Cafe

13-2 August 14 -Karma CafeSo now that you have tried everything in pursuit of happiness which is still elusive, perhaps you have resigned to your fate or Karma, accepting that you have to make do whatever you are destined to. The good part is that it brings a closure to your yet fruitless pursuit. The bad part is that you find it still tough to accept the situation. The good news though is that there is still hope, for you can still get served what you deserve.

Instead of focusing on what you want, focus on how you can get to the right feast.

Ensure you get invited – This is a lot different from forcing yourself to a feast or getting invited by stealth. Step back and visualise who gets invited. It is invariably those, who the host has an urge to invite. This means that you need to be known to the host, you need to be accepted by the host as worthy of being invited and the host will miss your presence if you are unable to make it to the feast. To ensure that your karma is aligned to the hosts expectations from the guest, you need to work on your attitude, your character, your worth and you can then hope to get what you deserve.

Sit at a table – In a movie the balcony seats are prized most whereas for a play or musical the front seats are for the privileged. At a banquet you get served if occupy a table. Unfortunately there are no buffets in Karma Café so you can’t serve yourself. In Karma Café you choose and set the table by ensuring that thoughts and deeds are aligned to your personal betterment, the betterment of the society around you and by leaving the world a better place than what you inherited.

Don’t be greedy – At Karma Café you will never want for anything. However this is possible only when on your journey to Karma Café you have taken care of those along the journey with you, sacrificed for those in greater need and by not amassing and hording for yourself especially at a cost to others. If you fed the hungry, clothed the naked , visit the sick and befriend a stranger then you are well on your way to a sumptuous meal at Karma Café.

Be grateful and gracious – At a banquet the guests have little or no control over what is served. Long before you are a guest, you are a host for all those who you come in contact with. Be grateful for the privileges you have that can be shared with your guests and be lavish and gracious in sharing with them. Only then can you expect to be a privileged guest at Karma Café.

Do unto others as you want them to do to you is the one line philosophy of the Karma Café !

Try this:

List the names of 3 people who have annoyed you a lot. Find 2 reasons( for each person) and pardon them by removing your ill feelings towards them. It would be extremely beneficial for you to actually tell them that you have no ill will towards them.

Think of the worst act ( maybe dishonesty / perhaps lies you said / possibly grudge you hold etc) that you have ever indulged in. Think of ways to atone for it.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog poweract.blogspot.in

 

Live a life that helps you leave a legacy

5-21 May 14- Live a life -Leave a legacy

Like the Northern Star that steadfastly guides the lost traveler, the quote today provides us an excellent pointer to what must drive us in making our life more meaningful, fulfilling and exhilarating. It also offers us a fresh perspective about our existence, reminding us that we need to make the most of life, for someday we will cease to be alive physically but we can ensure our legacy lives on.

Many of us get disheartened because we view ourselves as mere mortals who cannot create an impact on the world nor can we escape the drudgery of living as destiny has chosen us to. This is a fallacy that we have ingrained into our psyche and can be easily corrected by being aware that our life can positively impact all those you come in contact with and that each of us is given the opportunity to make the best of all we have. It is apt that at this juncture I share with you a link (http://chairbornewarrior.wordpress.com/category/my-second-life/ )that outlines the story of an extraordinary individual Mr.M.P.Anil Kumar who passed away yesterday. In many ways this post is also a tribute to him but more importantly his story captures the very core of today’s post.

Here are a few tips on making your life a legacy

Know yourself – This is the toughest part, partly because we can never be completely objective about our self but mainly because we are constantly evolving and our personality evolves with varied experiences, new knowledge and changing perspectives. Accepting our limitations also requires tremendous courage while identifying our strengths requires passionate self belief. Yet once we begin to understand and accept the being we are we can carefully circumvent our limitations while fully harnessing our strengths. E.g. Academics may not be everyone’s strength but some of us have diligence, commitment, hard work, vision etc as allies that we can harness fully to succeed.

Identify your passion – Many of us would candidly admit that lazing around, sleeping, day dreaming or being a couch potato is our most passionate activity. Yet we are also conscious that all of them are unproductive passions. So leaving aside these, list out some productive activities that you will happily engage in. Now creatively work out ways and means to make these activities fetch you income / returns. E.g. If you are a movie buff see if you can be a movie critic or if you have a natural flair for gadgets / gizmo’s find opportunities to leverage this passion.

Be zealous in what you do – Visualize a wonderful outcome of whatever activity you are engaged in.  This will provide you the impetus to be zealous and meticulous in whatever you are engaged in. The zeal you bring to your work will always give you an edge over others for good work is always noticed and rewarded. E.g. Have you noticed who is the co worker you can safely entrust a task to? Think about why you value his work so much.

Listen to the criticism but never let it overwhelm you – Since we cannot live in isolation, it is obvious that different people will form varying opinions about us. While some will be appreciative, there would be very many who will be extremely critical. There could be others who are indifferent while some others could be openly hostile. Be aware that there could be some truth in the criticism of others, so do not ignore the negative feedback. Yet do not let criticism dampen your spirits or cloud your judgment. Take corrective action where required but stay the course. If you know yourself you can never go wrong. E.g. If Ms. J.K. Rowling believed all the 12  publishers who rejected her first Harry Potter draft, those books would never have been published nor would millions of young readers have the pleasure of reading those books nor would she have become a millionaire and celebrity. What stops you from aiming so high?

Be the person you want others to be – If we have expectations of others, we must be prepared to walk the talk. In effect, our yardsticks of excellence for others must be the same yardstick we follow for ourselves. If we set a good example, all who observe us will attempt to imitate us. If we can simply be diligent in what we do, be truthful to our conscience, be fair to others and appreciate the efforts of those around, we would be living and leaving a legacy for others to imitate and emulate. E.g if we want our children to be honest we must ensure we don’t do any dishonest act ourselves or if we want the world to be a happier place learn to be happy first. Remember Mr.M.P.Anil Kumar and the cruel joke destiny played on him; yet he left behind a legacy hard to imagine and impossible to match.

Try this

List out 5 limitations/ weakness that you believe are hampering your progress in life. Now identify a quality that you posses that could be a possible antidote for that weakness. E.g. You are lazy. Antidote could be your ability to be disciplined or your ability to be committed to your goals or it could be your fear of monetary/ reputation loss. Now use the antidote as fulcrum to overcome your laziness.

Identify 3 people who in your opinion have left a legacy behind; (one must be a person from a historical / scientific / political / social service background   ; one from your friends and acquaintances and one a former teacher / superior ) Give an example of the one sterling quality they exhibited.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The light within you…

WP-14-6 The brightest light is within uMost of us alternate between some period of bliss and the rest of the time in disillusionment. Our disenchantment with life mainly stems from the following

Our inability to define a purpose to our existence

Our tendency to compare our life with that of those around

Our inability to appreciate the blessings in our life

Our fear of the future.

Now that we have managed to throw some light on the reasons for our frustrations, unhappiness and insecurities we can work on our problems and enjoy bliss for a large part of life. This is easier said than done because we still have to make the changes within us. This means we need to put the spotlight on us ; through introspection, reflection and acceptance. Fortunately each one of us has the gifts of rational thinking, the ability to be proactive and a conscience to guide us; all of which taken together provides the brightest spotlight within us to re-examine our life and our lifestyle. Look within you; focus on the problems that impede you from enjoying bliss and find the right medicine even if it be a bitter or painful pill / injection to be subjected to.

To define a purpose to our life – pay attention to your passions, your strengths and your gut feeling. Be aware of your personal limitations, your acute dislikes and fears. With this matrix outlined, visualize the options that fit snuggly into your vision of what you want to do in your life.

To overcome the tendency to compare – remember there is always a price to pay. So the neo rich may experience loneliness, the celebrities a dire need for privacy, the apparently successful may constantly worry about failure. At the same time ask yourself what price are you willing to pay for money, fame and success. The answers may surprise you and perhaps even shock you.

To better appreciate the blessings in our life – look around and focus on those thousands around who you loathe or pity. SO what is it that you pity them for or loathe them for? In comparison do you realize how much more blessed you are be it by way of good health, loving family, financial security, peace of mind etc.

You can overcome the fear of the future – by appreciating the present moment, your tremendous reserve of blessings, the security you have built up both tangible but more importantly intangible like your good will, relationships cultivated and the empowerment given to your loved ones.

When you see with the light within you, you will be honest, transparent, determined and decisive for otherwise you will miss out on the moles and warts in your life that blemish an otherwise perfect opportunity to lead and enjoy a blissful life.

Try this:

Write down 5 positive sentences each beginning with the words

I want to be….

I shall achieve…..

I will not compromise on…..

I will change my life by ……

I want to be remembered as…..

Choose your favorite proverb on the following themes

Happiness

Success

Goal setting

Motivation

Life

Go through the following blog post on LIGHT http://www.poweract.blogspot.in/2010/11/light.html 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

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Disappointments are inevitable…but you can overcome them !

Dissapointments are natural...but...

How many of you reading this feel they are always unlucky and never win be it a lottery, or a game of tambola / housie or just a lucky draw at a raffle? Disappointment is a natural corollary at the end of any such game for all those who never win and worse still miss out on winning by a whisker. There are others who seem to be very lucky but are disappointed that they never win the big stakes. Perhaps most of us see these as minor disappointments of everyday life and get over our disappointments in these situations quickly.  However, the larger disappointments come from our self set (often unrealistic) expectations; be it grades in exams, winning a match, meeting a deadline, meeting a commitment or it could be expectations related to  a large salary rise or  a promotion or worse still expectations from our children in their scholastic, personal and professional life.

One consolation that softens the pain of disappointment is the realization that everyone suffers disappointments albeit in varying measures. However, it is coping with disappointments that are a huge challenge for us.. While the techniques to cope would vary it is essential to be aware that we should not let disappointments become an excuse nor let it fester in our minds and poison our thinking and actions. Here are a couple of pointers to overcome disappointments, quickly regain our composure and motivate us to strive for something even better than what we didn’t get.

Accept disappointments as inevitable: No matter how well planned and careful one is circumstances are uncontrollable and obviously disappointments will lurk around. Escaping disappointments is not an option and accepting this reality is the first step in coping with disappointments. Eg. Flight delays can be very frustrating just as not getting reservations be it for travel or at the theater can be equally disappointing.

Put disappointments in perspective:  Well some disappointments will always be more painful than others. It is our ability to be rational and pragmatic about the disappointment that will bring equanimity into our life. E.g. Not getting a ticket for a movie could be huge disappointment if you were with a date but a flight delay could be terrible if you were to miss an important long haul connecting flight because of the delay of the first flight. In either case it is essential to reconcile to the reality and make the best of the inevitable situation you are faced with.

Seek a positive in the disappointment: To make the best of the inevitable situation you find yourself post the disappointment, force yourself to find a pleasant alternative. This needs a little imagination, a spark of creativity and a stout heart to overcome the disappointment. E.g. If stuck in a stopover town due to a delayed flight, the best option is to explore /discover the nuances of the place. If you missed out on getting tickets you alternatives could range from a surprise fine dining experience to exploring alternative entertainment options or simply going on a drive.

Focus on the many blessings you have: Pause for a moment and think of all the things that you are blessed with. Loving family, decent lifestyle, good education, freedom to pursue your dreams and the list is endless. So the disappointments you encounter are mere blips in an otherwise reasonably good life. Learn to let go of the disappointments and instead embrace the fortunes that you are blessed with.

Be aware that no disappointment can overcome your spirit: Disappointments are equivalent to the little pricks that one has to endure when romping through the woods. We never give up on our trek or hike merely because of a couple of untoward mishaps or stumbles or a scraped knee. It is our enthusiasm that props up our spirit, strengthens us to endure and motivates us to the very end. We need to realize that it is this same spirit in much larger doses that will always insulate us from giving up when faced with disappointments.

Try this:

 

How will you cope with the following disappointments?

  1. You are unable to recollect the location of an important document that you remember having kept very safely.
  2. You are in rush to catch a flight and discover that your car won’t start and you have reach the airport on time.
  3. You pick up your favorite coat and notice a large ugly stain on it.
  4. A long lost friend is visiting you and gifts you something. On opening the gift you find it is something that you craved for but it has the most terrible color that you despise immensely.
  5. You are invited to be the keynote speaker at a prestigious seminar. You have worked hard on your speech but on the day of the address, you wake up feeling feverish and with a terrible sore throat. 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

How to overcome jealousy

13-29- How to overcome JealousyWith the world being influenced by a slew of marketing gimmicks we are brainwashed into thinking that we are incomplete without possessing the product we are seduced by. Obviously lack of funds is often the one single reason that we cannot posses what we crave for. However the pain is made worse when we notice our peers or friends or acquaintances possessing things we craved for. This added pain is an outcome of jealousy; the feeling of not merely craving for what others have but more importantly the hurt that he / she possesses it. Jealousy is a self inflicted pain that we carry around with neither a cure in sight nor the possibility of not adding to our pain.

We become jealous for 2 reasons.

We ignore or discount our own blessings.

Almost all of us are guilty of taking all what we are blessed with for granted. This means that we simply discount the value of our blessings and never ever value it till we are deprived of it. A simple example is good health. It is only when we stub a toe or sprain our ankle or suffer a fracture that we realize what a blessing it is to have good health. In a similar way we do not realize the value of the intangible blessings we have like the love of a family, the liberation got from our education, the freedom of speech and much more because we are in a democratic set up etc.

We are however equally quick to outrightly discount our tangible blessings; be it money or possessions because when we look around there is always someone who has more. Be it a mobile or a car or a house, ideally we would want to own a version higher than what we are blessed with.

We focus on others and selectively choose to highlight what they are blessed with.

Look back at your school days and recollect the times your parents compared your marks of each subject with the marks of the person who scored the highest in the respective subjects. You would have hated the fact that this was done and you found it unfair that toppers marks were used to gauge your performance and possibly also suffer the ignominy of being berated. Now pause for a moment and ask yourself if you felt jealous about a colleague’s lavish lifestyle or her wardrobe or their swanky new car etc. Do you have similar jealous feelings for some else who owns a roaring business or has a enviable social life? Have you ever paused to find out the price they have paid for those trappings of success that you are jealous about? Are you aware of the undercurrents of worries, possibly hurt and worse still fear and loneliness that could possibly be a hidden part of their real life?

Jealousy can be overcome by simply being grateful for what you have and by focusing and proactively going after the innumerable opportunities life gives us to aspire, perspire and acquire what we want.

Try this:

  • If you were to suddenly inherit USD 10,000 what would you splurge it on? You must use for at least 5 different items or purposes. Now ask yourself if any of those purchases were subconsciously dictated by a desire to own it because someone else known to you has it or because of the snob value associated with it. Is there any item you plan to purchase that is purely to indulge in a personal passion or yearning.
  • Can you identify 5 things which you are certain will make you happy. The cost should not be a limiting factor in deciding these 5 things. For each of these things can you be very specific as to color, features, measurements etc. e.g. don’t simply say ‘ I want a car’ but specify the make and type and features of the specific model you crave for. Now that you have written it for what worthwhile causes will you sacrifice these indulgences without a trace of regret.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.com

The secret to happiness

13-25-Happy days are around you...

The essential condition for being happy is enjoying the moment. The problem is that our mind tends to wander around and seeks to find real and imaginary problems to dwell upon and fret and fume over. The human tendency to scan around for problems is possibly a defense mechanism to protect our future for we are the only species that uses the higher intelligence to embrace progress. In effect this means that each day we want to get ahead of the previous day and this creates in us a fear of tomorrow for it has to be better than today and yesterday. Protecting our future and planning for it is important but it must never be at the cost of failing to enjoy the better part of our life. Stress is primarily an outcome or result of our obsession with the future and is a predominantly found in the human race.

To reduce our stress it is essential that we find a way to like each moment of our life and love our life. This means we need to create/ find/ invent / be happy. The challenge is to remain happy for as long as possible and that is possible only and only when we learn to enjoy whatever we have.  Here are some ways that we can continue to be happy moment to moment.

Appreciate what you have. We tend to take for granted whatever we are blessed with and on the rare times we are deprived of some of these blessings we notice the absence and react with alarm, fear, worry and exasperation. Look back at the time you sprained your ankle or suffered from flu or the time you misplaced a valuable thing. Your attitude and behavior is symptomatic of our tendency to take the good fro granted and the unwanted as a calamity. Remember the phrase; I complained because I had not shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.

Don’t compare. Nothing disturbs our peace of mind as much as our tendency to compare whatever we have with that of others who we perceive as having something better than what we have. In many ways our inability to appreciate what we have often has its roots in our weakness to focus on what others have. Pause for a moment and think about the possibility that ‘perhaps we are blessed with just the right mix leaving us enough opportunities to aspire, perspire and inspire us to achieve and attain more’ giving us the elation of achievement and success.

Be optimistic. Problems, hindrances, failures, fears and frustrations are part of everyday life. We are given the grace to be optimistic; to be hopeful, to visualize possibilities and to find creative ways to overcome and slay the demons of our negative imagination. It is when we are optimistic that we confront our fears and stop ourselves from running away from the problems we encounter.

Seek positives. When in difficulties, pain or trouble our reaction is to alleviate the suffering. The challenge thereafter is to be calm, have a clear head and to think logically so that we not only overcome our difficulties but come out unscathed. Almost all the prisoner of war (POW) escapes can be attributed to seeking out the positives even in the most inescapable circumstances. Ask yourself if you are a POW of your making; your defeatist attitude, your weak will and/ or your inability to confront reality.

Have fun. Have you seen people in casts displaying a variety of messages written on the cast by friends and well wishers? Have you seen people with a big smile hobble on crutches to a party or come on a wheel chair to the party? Ever notice that the best jokes are the ones people tell about themselves and the embarrassing situations they found themselves in?  The ability to laugh, to have fun, to find a reason to smile is perhaps the greatest gift you can bestow yourself.

Try this:

  • Prepare a funny paragraph containing the words. Each paragraph must have 5 sentences at least and must contain 7 -10 words from the list given below. The paragraphs need not be logical but must be coherent and humorous.

Man, socks, dog, green, TV, nail, Egg, elephant, hook, water, clock, TV, bucket, Adam, Ram, Flag, blue, wheel, cycle, eat, run, scream.

  • Prepare a list (laughs that you can have) of at least 5 each of the following
  1. Jokes
  2. Limericks
  3. Comedy Movies
  4. You tube clips
  5. Cartoons
  6. Sayings / Phrases

(You are welcome to share your contribution by writing in to actspot@gmail.com. Please give your name and age along with your contribution. Select contributions ( emphasis will be on originality and quality of humor) would be featured in this blog. )

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Happiness is an inside job

13-22-Happiness is an inside job

The secret to happiness is YOU. Sounds rather philosophical but when you reflect on what your definition of happiness is, you realize that only you can outline it and for sure only you can embrace that happiness wholeheartedly. Next time notice the dazzling smile of a baby or the gurgling sounds made by a babe in a cradle. The happiness they exude is pure magic and is proof that we were all born with the capacity to be happy at all times. Yet, as we grow, we are often tested by pain, rejection, inequality and ill health which robs us of our child like happiness which is then replaced by our own self defined concept of happiness. We now no longer allow happiness from within to overwhelm us but seek to find happiness in people, places, events and things, most of which elude us.

Here are 5 most common reasons why we are not as happy as we yearn to be.

  1. For almost all of us defining what brings us happiness is a near impossible task for there are too many equally mesmerizing alternatives.
  2. Similarly, it is equally true that all happiness is momentary for no sooner we experience it, we are craving for the next thing that would give us a similar high.
  3. Craving and envy are two vices that often act as dampeners to our happiness.
  4. Far too often what we perceive brings us happiness are forbidden and/ or sinful
  5. We seek happiness in the external world, in the materialistic things, in fame and adulation whilst being oblivious of the reality that our happiness lies within us, in our perspective, our attitude and our ability to enjoy each moment.

We have broadly identified the reasons why we do not experience happiness as often and for as long as we want. Our focus must now be on finding out how we can seek the source of the fount of happiness and drink from it for long and forever. Here are 5 ways to remain happy for the rest of our life.

Love yourself. This goes beyond the physical self and percolates deep into other aspects like self belief, confidence, aspirations, resilience and motivation. It is when we love what we are as we are that we begin to see all that we are blessed with and happiness is a natural corollary.

See the positives Since each day is both a blessing and a challenge, there are many times when we succumb to the pressure of the challenges and feel defeated and despondent. Pause for a moment and think back to one of the worst days of your life; isn’t it wonderful to note that despite the frustrations and fears of that day, you have left those bitter moments far behind and have much to enjoy now and look forward to in the future?

Realign your attitude A few missteps, a couple of hard knocks, an odd failure or two or moments of boredom or frustration are potential minefields that we must navigate with care. The best mine detector we have, to safely navigate these tough times is our attitude to the challenges that we come across. It can’t get worse or I can overcome or this is not too tough are emotional triggers that work wonders to realign your attitude and help you be balanced and happy.

Spread happiness This is sure shot way to be happy all the time. To begin with, smile. It is infectious and this is one infection that does a world of good for all.  Converse with people, interact, tell a joke, poke fun at your expense, offer encouragement, give a pat on the back, be a little goofy if required, appreciate others, help another, surprise people with gifts… there are a zillion little things one can do to spread happiness… and to remain happy.

When at your wits end- remember ‘this too shall pass No matter what you do, you cannot escape those moments of pain, failure, betrayal, anger, frustration and the numerous other negative emotions lurking in the background. Many of these can momentarily overwhelm us and at times completely break us down as would be the case when we lose a loved one to death. In these bleak moments, don’t forget that ‘this too shall pass’ and that there is a new dawn and a new day waiting to give us fresh opportunities and immense happiness.

Try this:

Identify 12 people, each of who has his/ her birthday in a different month from the others. Thus you have one person’s birthday coming up each month. Ensure that out of these people 3 are colleagues, 3 are distant relatives, 3 are complete strangers and the balance 3 are family/ friends. Your task is to arrange for gifts to be given to them on their birthdays without them knowing who has sent them the gift.

List out 3 of your strengths that are appreciated by others. Now outline 2 different ways in which you can try and use these strengths to spread happiness and experience it yourself.

Here is a PPT which gives another perspective to life in general, and some critical inputs that could help you find even more happiness.  guide_to_life_lo

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

It is not the load but how you carry it that matters…

13-12-it is not the load

When interacting with people, some people give you an immediate connect and you can actually feel their vibrancy, positivity and joy touching you in many ways and elating you. Unfortunately there are also many others who you would keep at arms distance, if not completely avoid given half a chance, simply because they are constantly grumbling, telling their woes, keep blaming others and exude bad vibes, spread demoralizing thoughts and drain us of our enthusiasm. If you were to spent a little time and understand the background, the daily routine and psychology of both sets of people you might make a startling discovery that in almost all cases the people are just like us, share the same sets of troubles, pleasures, hope, fears perhaps in varying degrees but it is their response to the situation that is the key difference that makes them likeable or disagreeable.

Now turn the mirror to yourself and ask honestly how others perceive you. Do I have many friends? Are my neighbors and colleagues happy to see me? Do I feel welcome when joining a group? Closer home, other than your pet dog are the rest of the family members thrilled to have me around? Do people freely interact with me, trust me, share their thoughts, concerns, hopes etc and seek my counsel or views? If you can honestly say yes to all the above, then you are one of the fortunate few who has mastered the art of embracing life with a song on your lips and hope in your heart. On the other hand if you are one who cannot spontaneously say yes to the above questions, there is no need to feel despondent for by and large you share your misery with a large number of people. Though it is said misery loves company, as an individual each of us would love to live life happily minus that miserable company.

The best way to cope with life is as under:

First accept the reality that there is a yin and yang that together forms life. While everyone wishes to embrace the good things life has to offer, when there is difficulty, pain, fear, frustration and the like, the inevitable reaction is to wonder why me. The quicker we learn to appreciate the quirks of life the easier it would be to welcome each new day with a happy heart.

The next is to cope with the yin with equanimity and the yang with alacrity. Having accepted the reality of the yin and yang of life, the challenge is how does one deal with them. In fact, in managing our response to the extremes that life throws up we would realize the inevitable truth that neither happiness nor sorrows last forever (although the latter might seem to be never ending). Therefore when things are going one’s way, when life is kind to us and when we are euphoric we must soak in those moments but never let them overexcite us. At the same time when faced with challenges, problems and troubles we must not be overwhelmed by them but be hopeful that this too shall pass.

Third is to attempt a balance between the two. This is a tricky step for while we cannot actually change the reality we can telescope our joys and miniaturize our troubles by some deft psychological ploys. Learn to savor every triumph, relish every joy and spread joy and sub consciously lengthen the ecstasy, deepen the thrill and enrichen our life. Similarly when fate deals us a poor hand, when the shadows seem to be lengthening and joy looks elusive look out for the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. The change in fortunes seems just a step away, the gloom will seem to be disappearing and the hard knocks of life will be less bruising and painful. The balance you have maintained is in keeping a pragmatic proportion between the long periods of ecstasy and the brief unavoidable reality of despair.

Finally embrace each moment as the best moment for it shall never come again. The first three rules are to be practiced diligently and allowed to gently be ingrained subconsciously. That is the point of inflection when you will actually begin to embrace life warts and all. From then on you will look eagerly for the break of dawn, appreciate the joys of everyday life, value the joys of relationships, find surprises in the chirping of the birds and the blooming of the flowers and there will be a spring in every step you take. Hurdles that would invariably appear most unexpectedly would not frighten you nor would they then seem insurmountable and you would find the will, the means and the way to side step every hurdle. You will then kiss each moment for it will never give you another chance again.

The secret to coping with the surprises, shocks, joys and jolts of life is in accepting reality of constant change, maintaining harmony no matter what the challenge or surprise and making best use of the gift of life by living it and not merely surviving it.

Try this:

For a week try to live life by making the following adjustment each day. This will give you a better appreciation of how those who have to live with the limitation have adjusted to their permanent problem and yet live their life to the full.

Day 1 – Do not use your regularly used hand ( if your right handed do not use the right hand for the whole day)

Day 2 – Tie a splint around any one of your knees so that you cannot bend your knees. Now go about your daily chores with this handicap.

Day 3 – Avoid the use of any means of electrical /electronic devise – no telephone/ mobile/internet/ TV / Dish washers / credit cards/ etc.

Day 5 – Attempt not to talk to anyone / minimize your oral communication but go about your daily tasks.

Day 6 – Spend an entire day at an orphanage/ old age home/ prison /hospital or on any social service that you have never ever been to or attempted before.

Day 7 – Set your own challenging goal and try to live it out.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Being human…

13-5-We are human

The reality of life is something that most of us are prone to misconstrue as being unfair to us. The prime reason for this is our focus on what we crave and do not have and our envy of those who have what we crave. At times when things seem to be going our way or are in a happy frame of mind, we do appreciate the blessings we have but these periods of bliss are far few and in between. So how does one etch happiness into our psyche?

Happiness is a state of mind and the key then is to fine tune the mind to allow happiness to seep in and envelope us. This is best done as under:

Appreciate the reality:

We need to appreciate the fact that we are human. This means that we can think, we can emote and we can decide.

We need to realize that we are not perfect and as a result we have to learn to forgive ourselves, tolerate the mistakes of others and make efforts to correct the mistakes rather than give up in hopelessness.

We need to be ecstatic that we are alive for we now have limitless opportunities to leave our mark in this world and energize the environment around us.

 Focus then on thinking positively, being more forgiving and grasping opportunities.

 Realize the truth:

That as human beings we will make mistakes, we stumble, we fall and we may even get hurt. The truth is that these are like vaccination pricks that are temporarily painful but leave a long term positive effect in ensuring our well being. Seen in this light, it dawns on us that every fall makes us more humble, every mistake teaches us a new lesson and that hurt is a mechanism to alert us to impending dangers that can be avoided through caution and alertness.

Every setback, every tumble we take and every obstacle that comes our way is just a blip in the larger scheme of life; recognize this truth and you shall be free of worries.

 Clasp all possibilities  

Understand the innumerable possibilities that come with the knowledge that we can rise again, we can try again, we keep learning and we keep growing. Seen amputees participate in games and athletics or heard Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata a classic that one finds hard to believe has been composed by a deaf composer. If these seem extreme examples, look at the physically, financially or academically challenged in and around you who have succeeded despite all odds.

So do you see the innumerable opportunities around you just waiting for you to clasp them and turn them into successes?

Embrace life

Now be thankful for the priceless opportunity of life for as long as life exists we can find happiness in the little things and big things that surround us.

Don’t forget that LIFE is Love Inside Finding Expression – start with loving yourself.

Try this:

Write down the following immediately

  • The one new learning you would like to acquire E.g. Learning a new sport or language
  • The one physical good that you desperately want to posses, which is a realistic possibility for you sometime in the next 5 years. E.g. A high end music system (name the brand of your choice)
  • The one limitation / trait that you would want to eliminate at the earliest. E.g. Being more decisive or being more organized
  • The one change you would like to bring to your life E.g. Lose weight or spend more time with family etc.

Now work on ways to realize these desires before the end of 2013

  1. Click on this link and watch this inspirational and motivational talk by Nick Vujicic a truly physically challenged but most engaging speaker http://tinyurl.com/6oqnzk
  2. Click on this link and watch the Last Lecture by Prof. Randy Pausch to appreciate the need to embrace life  http://tinyurl.com/2z3wsx

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com