Category: life

Choose joy

Choose joy

Happiness is a choice that you make every moment of your life. You are reading this possibly because you are happy to read it. Possibly you are reading this post to divert yourself from some pressing worries. Perhaps you are reading this because you hope to be inspired or your get to learn some new words or simply because it appeared in your inbox and you are curious to know what it is all about. Whatever be your reason to read, it better be a conscious choice but more importantly it must be a choice that makes you feel happy. Choosing joy is not an option but a compulsion because the world around has enough and more challenges, worries and problems that will engulf you and joy is that antidote to cope with it.

Finding joy is not as complicated as one may think, considering the numerous challenges one faces daily. It is all about adopting /embracing the right mix of self belief, attitude, optimism and being pragmatic.

Self belief It is the belief that you are blessed with choices and that you will choose the right path as long as you can visualize joy at the end of it. E.g. A student has studied well but unfortunately gets a very tough question paper. Despite the possibility of not faring well or even failing, he/ she refuses to copy because in her/ his eyes that would be cheating. It is the self belief that no matter what the outcome, I will remain true to my character and values.

Attitude – It is how one approaches each moment and the changing landscape that makes life so unpredictable. E.g. The student referred to in the previous point can become despondent that all her/ his efforts are in vain or can choose to look at the challenges as a learning to put even more effort or to be more selective in what is being studied. The attitude decides how one embraces joy no matter what the situation.

Optimism – It is seeing the bright side of things. Even in the darkest hours look for a glimmer, a ray of sunshine or at least a twinkling star. E.g. The student who gets a tough paper must make an effort to attempt the paper and be optimistic that her/ his effort will give a favorable outcome. The assumption of course is that the student has studied well and so can put in a decent effort.

Pragmatic – Choosing joy is always the result of pragmatic thinking. If the situation is hopeless it is better to embrace it stoically rather than in grief and despondency. E.g. The student can keep wondering and hurting that all his/ her efforts are in vain or could lament his/ her fate. On the other hand of one is practical look at the tough exam paper as an eye opener on how one must be better prepared. Focus in doing one’s best using all the knowledge gained through the hard work put in. If the paper has been uniformly tough for everyone, chances of those giving it a great shot passing are much higher. Giving up and not answering is a pragmatic but wasted effort as the outcome is now never in doubt.

Try these:          

  1. Can you recollect two of your most terrifying moments in your life? What were your reactions? How did you overcome the situation?
  2. You arrive at the airport for a much awaited foreign holiday. The airport suddenly announces that all flights are cancelled due to major technical glitch at the airport. It is peak holiday season and you can never get a booking again.  What will be your response to the situation? How will you choose joy after the initial shock and despondency?
  3. How would you react to the following situations?
  • The police has issued a fine for over speeding. The car was being use by your friend when the incident occurred which was captured on CCTV.
  • You dropped your phone accidentally and by mistake a passerby stomped on it with her spike heels. The screen is shattered.
  • You go for a health check up and the doctor says you need a specialized check up for what the doctor suspects is rather serious ailment.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

It’s your life…

It’s your life…

For many of us, the challenge is to truly understand the purpose of our life. During our academic life, our focus was on academic excellence in the hope of making those around proud of our achievements and also hoping that academic excellence will set a path for success. However, except for the toppers who were branded exceptional, followed by the excellent and good, the vast majority of us were merely above average, average and occasionally academic failures. Yet both the topper and the failure still grappled with the question of what next and what is the purpose of my life. What next was relatively easier to answer because each of us either gave in to our dreams or settled for what the rest did. A minuscule number opted for something different and off beat, largely due to compulsions. Yet for each one, the question of what is the purpose of my life remained an enigmatic question with an elusive answer. Throughout this process, we got good, bad, indifferent, useless, unsolicited advice from elders, teachers, family and those concerned with out welfare. Many of us succumbed to these apparent pearls of wisdom, only to realize much later that the path neither suited us nor were we able to cope with it happily and changing tracks was challenging.

The purpose of life is to make the best of your talents and abilities, to make a positive difference to your life and to those around. When viewed from this lens, no matter what we do, if it gives us happiness and it does not violate human dignity and ethics that is the purpose of our life. Striving to change it for the better, aspiring to achieve something greater and taking chances to make a greater impact with your life, are all par for the course. In fact aiming to better ourselves should be the hall mark of one’s life. If what you do is meaningful to you, even just lazing around, you need not be apologetic. While the world is chasing an elusive financial dream a person who can sleep with a clear conscious is the one who is living his/ her life most meaningfully. Well meaning people may offer unsolicited advice, give subtle hints or occasionally berate a person because they view things from their own perspective. However, each individual must choose a path that best answers his/ her question ‘what is the purpose of my life?’

Try these:          

  1. List the names of three individuals who in your view, best amplified and lived their  life the way they wanted it. Can you identify three possible challenges that they faced in living their life on their terms?
  2. What are the three things in your life that you are keen on doing (but have not yet attempted). What is holding you back from doing that?
  3. What are the few suggestions made to you by well meaning people who have no idea of your own personal plans. ( e.g. I know a young CA who now wants to peruse studies in Economics and Statistics because her mind is set on working in the space of public policy making. Yet everyone around is keen to help her get a job as a Chartered Accountant and thinks she is barking up the wrong tree).

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Change perspective and grow

Change perspective and grow

Our vision is critical to how we go about our business in this world.  Mediocre results are the outcome of a terribly conceived, poorly focused and badly executed effort.  When we have a larger vision, a bigger goal and an intrinsic motivation, that is when we become passionate, focused and committed to whatever we have to do. Notice that the goal could be the same but it is the approach to the goal, the purpose of the goal and the pull of the goal that determines the quality of the goal and the value of the resultant success. 

To determine how committed you are to any goal ask the following questions and truthfully answer them

What is my motive? This is the first question to be asked when doing anything. The routine work will have a definite purpose and it won’t change very drastically over time. However, for doing anything new, even deepening the extent of your current routines involves embracing a different more wholesome motive. Deciding to change your career and embracing what your passionate about would be a major change that you will make only when you are clear of your motive. Even making a career move or adopting a change in life style would be driven by a superior motive. If the motive is envisioned with a larger purpose rather than narrow short term interests, chances of your commitment to that goal are higher.

Am I committed to it? Commitment means that you will put everything aside and do what is uppermost on your agenda. That what is uppermost on your agenda will always be something that you are passionate about, motivated to work on and consumes your mind and spirit. Winners are those who have never left sight of their larger goal and have committed to attain the smaller goals that are aligned with the larger goal. For a professional sportsman, there is no substitute for rigorous practice even at odd hours in the most trying conditions. The goal is to excel in the sport and possibly be a torch bearer of that sport.

Am I prepared to pay a big price for it? Every commitment comes for a price. That is because the one key element in life is limited. Hence utilizing your time wisely is critical. In fact, you may have to sacrifice a number of things some mere minor pleasures but often some bigger sacrifices are to be made. Not indulging in your favorite food might be a minor price to pay but missing out on momentous family occasions or skipping crucial exams because your priority is clashing with it are bigger and more costly a price to pay.

Would the goal enhance my perspective and life? Ultimately a goal remains worthwhile only and only of you passionately believe that it will make a huge difference in your life. It could be shifting the focus of your future or it could be embracing your passion or it could be a quantum leap in your lifestyle. What is important is to clearly identify the underlying benefit/ gain/ thrill that you believe will significantly impact and enhance the quality of your life. For someone material wealth could be an obsession whilst for others embracing new knowledge could be the trigger. Others may see opportunities to travel as transforming his/ her life whereas others may want to quit simply to enjoy their life before it is too late.

To sum up, seeing the big picture, finding space for yourself in that big picture and ensuring that the picture reflects what you stand for, results in a ‘perfect picture’.

Try these:          

  • What are the three major decisions that you took which have had a significant impact on your life?
  • Do you regret any decision that you took?
  • What are three things you would have done differently if ever you got a chance to course correct?
  • What are three feelings that dominate your life? How do they impact your decision making?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Nirvana – the Rubick’s cube way

Nirvana – the Rubick’s cube way

I came across this wonderful cartoon,  that puts in perspective what we need to do this coming year, to ensure that by the year end, we can look back with no regrets – simply get ourselves sorted right.

All of us travel with a whole lot of baggage; some inherited, some acquired, a few bestowed and most of it our own creation. As a result we are constantly balancing our imaginary and realistic possessions in the fond hope that they will ensure that we live a worry free life of comfort and happiness. Unfortunately, with each passing day, juggling becomes problematic as we seem to have a penchant for adding to our possessions, keep craving for more and wishing some of our less prized or despised possessions would be taken away. The six sides of the Rubick’s cube give us a clue as to how we can organize our life and attain Nirvana without having to climb the mountain in search of a guru.

Each of the six sides of the cube can be seen as representative of a broad aspect of our life. Our physical well being, our mental/ intelligent growth, our emotional stability, our spiritual/ ethical grounding , our financial security and our social needs. All we need to do is to ensure we sort out each of these aspects of our life so that they, like the colors of each side remain in harmony and pronto the Rubik cube of life is sorted.

A few pointers given below, may perhaps help us get the knack of sorting each aspect of our life more expeditiously and productively.

Physical well being – This is a no brainer. Obviously if we are not in the best physical shape, it is extremely difficult to live a productive life. Eating in moderation, eating healthy and physical exercise are the keystones of physical well being. However,  worry and stress do tend to have an unduly negative impact on physical well being as well. Regular health checkup and the subsequent suggestions of the medical practitioner’s would ensure that your over physical well being is at its best at all times. Those will disabilities and challenges would do well to accept the realities and pace their lives accordingly. This is particularly true for those who unfortunately become victims of such disabilities after leading a perfectly healthy lifestyle.

Mental and Intellectual growth – Reading widely, soaking in new experiences, experimenting, living beyond one’s comfort zone are ways and means of ensuring you continue to growth mentally and intellectually. Get involved in the changes happening around, interact with the young, listen without judging and be open to ideas that seem contrarian to your intellect.

Emotional stability – It is extremely difficult to control our emotions. Too often it is our emotional outbursts that fractures relationships, creates chasms between individuals, contributes to build up prejudices and drains us emotionally. Balance in evaluating any response and responding with a measured response both in choice of words and tone is the key to ensuring we maintain our emotional stability. Beware of issuing threats, ultimatums’, taking extreme positions in arguments; replace it with pragmaticism, reason and common sense.

Spiritual and ethical grounding – While circumstances and upbringing, have a role to play in how we develop our spiritual and ethical values, going to extremes is the cause of tensions within us. One needs to be aware of the ground realities, be accommodation to differences yet remain true to the values one cherishes. Get clarity about your values and your actions will be synchronized leaving no scope for doubts and worries.

Financial security – In a materialistic world, financial security is compulsive reality. You need to provide for your future, your lifetime and for the unexpected. Make a realistic assessment and save accordingly. Take professional help if required. However, let not the future scare you so much that you do not enjoy the present. The challenge is to balance your current utilization and provide for future security. Take those holidays you crave for, indulge in some luxuries that you dream about, experiment with a progressive lifestyle and make your today just as enjoyable as the future you dream off.

Social needs – As a social animal, one cannot live as a hermit or in seclusion. Yet, on one extreme we are connected with all the gadgets and technology and on the other hand the physical interactions seem to be disappearing. Life is always full of beautiful memories which you have to create and make a reality. There is no substitute to meeting, interacting and enjoying life in groups. It could be families together, friends together, travel companions or making connections with strangers. Be there in person; minimize the use of gadgets and you will create magical moments to cherish forever.

Try these:

  1. Just list out one resolution that you will diligently adhere to for each of the above points. Begin Now.
  2. List out 3 of your fondest memories
  • With your parents
  • Your siblings / cousins
  • Your school mates
  • Your college mates
  • Friends you made in your travels
  • Unexpected but fond experiences
  • This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Be like melting snow…

Be like melting snow…

As we enter the last week of the year, Rumi gives us a very insightful sharing, that can help us transcend seamlessly into the New Year.  Like melting snow, so typical of the season of Christmas in the Northern Hemisphere, which simply lets go of its form, allows the impurities to be washed off and merrily adopts a new form and flows with the tide, each of us should embrace a similar attitude.

We need to begin afresh in the New Year. The emotional baggage of the past can be best got rid off by being like the melting snow. Wash it off the memory, clear if from our heart, just carry the purity, fun, joys which like sugar and salt will add flavor. Resolve to begin anew; scrub yourself clean of the dirt that rankled and tortured your mind and body; soap and shampoo yourself with the aroma of beautiful memories, of hopes and aspirations and walk towards the sun; all shadows behind you and a bright spot ahead.

In washing ourselves of ourselves we are merely discovering our true identity. The real self which was born in all purity and innocence and who grew up ensconced with love and impervious of any danger or fear.  The snow is nothing but water that changed due to the environment around and then it rediscovers itself as water when it washes itself of itself.

Each of us is like a snowflake; each one can be born anew in the New Year if we simply wash ourselves of ourselves.

Try these:           

  • What are the most memorable moments of your childhood, teenage years and currently?
  • What are your hopes / dreams / goals for the coming year?
  • What are three positive changes you propose to bring into your life?
  • What is the one way you will ensure that your loved ones begin to notice a marked positive change in you?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

What is meant to be will always find its way

What is meant to be will always find its way

As we approach the last month of the year, there is a tendency to look back at the year gone by and reminiscence about the good, the bad and the ugly that happened to us. There would be moments of pain that we recall, there would be ecstatic moments which send our spirits soaring high and there would be some frustrations that are irritating to recall. However, what we find toughest to cope with are the moments of regrets that overwhelm us; we desperately wish then that we could turn the clock back and redo things differently. This lingering feeling of haplessness; of missing out on opportunities to change our destiny keep haunting us for a much longer time. In this time of reminiscence, one must also keep in mind the reality that ‘what is meant to be will always find its way’ just as in the picture above, the quaint flowers bloom along a forlorn, deserted, almost arid sidelines of the railway track.

Once we awaken to this profound truth that ‘what is meant to be will always find its way’ we would be less delusional, more practical and certainly more optimistic that the best is yet to come. This in no way means that you can sit back and wait for good fortune to parachute into your life. Instead, it is an exhortation that we must continue to give of our best and the fruits of our labor will be sweet and plentiful, when the time comes. The year gone by would have had its shares of ups and downs but our focus must be on the highs in our life, the hopes that we have for the times ahead and we must inbuilt in us, the ability to visualize the fruits of success. Dreams give you a reason to aspire, a focus to aim at and a pinnacle to scale. Life will no longer be arid, parched and infertile. We will plant the seeds of hope, water it with faith, nurture it with diligence and reap the fruits in abundance.

Patience is the one virtue that each one must cultivate. No seed sprouts overnight to grow into a plant. Similarly, all our actions, our sacrifices our energies will bear fruit only when the time is ripe. Of course, it is assumed that we align our actions with reality and not dig wells where there is no semblance of water. It is also good to keep in mind that often we are bestowed with what we can really cope with, manage efficiently and accept with good cheer. Plant seeds of hope, faith and good cheer in your heart and let your mind and body help you plough your life ahead. When the time comes, gather the flowers, fruits and produce and share it. You will receive what you deserve sooner than later. It may not be in a form or shape that you expect but it is yours for the picking if you look for it.

Try these:           

  • List names of 5 people who you know personally. One must be a family member, the other a colleague, an acquaintance, a neighbor and a person who assists you in some way (house help / liftman / security guard/ gardener etc.)
  • Can you recollect the best moment you had last week. What do you think will be the most wonderful thing that can happen to you before the month end?
  • If someone gifted you Rs.1,000 what will you do with it before the month end?
  • How will you view things if your wallet got stolen and it had Rs.5,000?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

 

Be yourself

Be yourself

In the previous blog post, we looked at creating our own unique brand. This post is an extension of that thought.

One challenge each individual faces, is his/ her yearning to be better than someone else who they envy. Part of this phenomenon can be attributed to the parental expectations reinforced in school days with comparisons between marks of classmates. The trend gets accentuated when one is aspiring for suitable jobs or career opportunities. It gets worse when as an employee or a business person the greatest motivation comes from being one upon on competition. While benchmarking against competition with the intent of improvement is an excellent strategy, using the competition as an induced measure of proving one’s worth would be a short sighted and bitterly disappointing venture in the long run. The solution to overcome this is simple. Just be yourself.

To be yourself, spend a little time on self analysis. This could include a personal SWOT analysis, introspection about one’s passion and desires and being realistic about opportunities to leverage while maintaining ones motivation. This could largely lead to a more focused approach to what one hopes to achieve, will give one free reign over his/ her own uniqueness being harnessed and ensure that you are valued for who you are and not merely for what one is achieving. An underworld don for example revels in his/ her power but is constantly threatened and worried about the law catching up, being eliminated by his/ her enemies and has to live with extreme stress the rest of his/ her life. An individual who on the other hand is realistic about himself/ herself and works with passion on what is most alluring will always revel in the growth and success, remain unfettered by stress and will never be bothered about competition in any form. Just be yourself.

The biggest benefit for those who live life on their own terms is that, they are valued for who they are, their integrity and diligence, the industrious nature and hard work, the success they have carved out and above all for their humane nature and respectful conduct. The net effect of being yourself and not being artificial in your thoughts, deeds and contributions is that you would have bloomed into the flower you were meant to be. You will leave a unique legacy cherished by those who know and love you. Just be yourself.

Try these: –

  • If a tombstone where to be erected for you, what would you like the epitaph carved out on it to read?
  • Can you list out the positive adjectives or comments about you shared by your mother or father, a sibling, a cousin, a friend, a colleague, a teacher? This can give you clues to your strengths and characteristics that define you.
  • For each of the above persons can you identify what is the one most endearing quality you value in them? This can give you clues about the positive influences on you by the people who matter to you.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.com

It is ok to be not ok

It is ok to be not ok

At times events that happen to us or around make us feel overwhelmed. At these times each of us is caught in a bind, wondering if it is ok to give in to your natural feelings like anger, hurt, frustration etc. that the event has triggered or to try your best to be stoic, dispassionate and pretend to be brave. Often we prefer to embrace the latter, more to prove our own ability to cope rather than let our defenses down and spill out our deepest emotions. There is also the added pressures from the do- gooders around, who whisper gently that one needs to control his/ her emotions and not succumb to fear, frustration, anger, hurt and loneliness. Unfortunately, one cannot be completely divorced of personal emotions and reality demands that expelling pent up emotions is a good way to get rid of unwanted toxic feelings from within.

Hence there is nothing wrong in getting angry, upset, confused or feeling stuck up, lonely, hurt or to give in to a good crying spell. In short, it is perfectly ok not to be ok.

However, there is a risk that by regularly giving in to our negative emotions, we may become susceptible to adopting a ‘poor me’ syndrome. One needs to be watchful against undervaluing one’s self, looking at life from a all that goes wrong and not being able to enjoy the countless bounty one is blessed with. This is the point at which some of us begin to wage war with ourselves by finding fault in happenings that are not to our liking or events that come as a set back or by craving for what we do not have or aspire too. The thinking is skewed; the feeling of not having enough, the tendency to blame self, family, circumstances and fate are all symptomatic of a person at war with himself/ herself.

The antidote to this is threefold:

Do not bottle up your feelings – give release to your emotions. It is perfectly alright to feel down, hurt, depressed, sad, unhappy, anxious, worried and weepy. There are moments when we need to align our behavior with the feelings that are overtaking us. By giving vent to those feelings we are exhaling those toxic emotions and cleansing ourselves from within. The toxicity exhaled will be replaced by positive feelings of hope, acceptance, courage, determination and self belief. It is a cleansing of the mind and body that helps rejuvenate the spirit.

Do not overreact to circumstances – At the other end of the spectrum is a tendency to overreact to unforeseen, unfortunate and unforgiving circumstances that occasionally transgress into our peaceful existence. Since change is a constant in everyone’s life it is obvious that sooner or later each of us will have to deal with pain, fear, illness, failure and death. The problem is when we overreact and see our problems as disastrous, calamitous and unending. Bringing a sense of proportion and balance is the only way to deal with circumstances that we do not want to face but have overtaken us. So while giving in to our feelings and reacting to it without bottling it up is perfectly in order, over reacting and getting emotionally irrational would be a self inflicted disaster.

Find value in your current circumstances – No matter what the circumstance you face, look around and see that there are a people courageously coping with even more calamitous problems. In comparison it would occur to us that we are much more blessed in that our problems are relatively easy to cope with. The best way to cope with any form of emotional pain is to look it is from a point of view of what do we still have despite all that is happened. Seek out value that makes tomorrow worth looking forward to. E.g. a student who has failed can still count on his parents, friends and teachers supporting him despite them possibly criticizing him / her initially. Failure then is not the end of the world but a temporary blip in life.  An even more extreme example is the purported reaction of Thomas Alva Edison, whose life’s work was charred to ashes when his house went up in flames. His reaction was, as he said the ‘opportunity to observe the biggest fire he had ever seen in his life’. Subsequently when asked about the loss of all his years of research, he is purported to have quipped ‘ now I can start again with a clean slate’.

Try these:           

  • What were the two most challenging / trying/ painful experiences you encountered? How did you cope with it?
  • Share with us links or documents of 2 inspirational articles or stories or videos of people who have coped with their most challenging problems. You can email them to us at actspot@gmail.com

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Core life skills

Core life skills

In a world that is constantly changing and evolving, the challenges of coping with the changes and the evolving dynamics, are both stressful and laced with apprehension. Yet what does not change and what helps one remain balanced during testing times, are the core beliefs that we should embrace with faith. It is not just the technology that challenges us but more worrisome is the human dynamics that have been cast asunder; the traditional family values, societal norms and the fragility of the bonds between cultures, regions, religions, beliefs and values.  Yet to retain our sanity and remain equanimous  in the face of changes that tend to overwhelm us, all we need to do is focus and implement the core life skills which are:

Calm, but alert – If you see a duck paddling in the water, you would never notice how frantically it is paddling below the water because above the water it looks exceedingly calm and serene. Similarly, in the wild, observe the docile creatures like deer’s and gazelle’s. They remain calm but constantly look around to be alert to any danger lurking in the thickets. They do not visualize trouble in their mind and get anxious but they do anticipate trouble, as they are aware of predators around. We humans tend to absorb negativity and project it in our outlook instead of taking calculated risks with an inbuilt trigger to help us remain safe.

Relaxed, but ready – Observe the great athletes of the world. They know that they are competing against the best and that the results are quite open ended giving everyone a fair chance to win. Yet when they warm up before the event, they are fairly relaxed, prepped up but calm, anxious perhaps but equally excited because they know that it is crunch time. Their training and self belief have got them thus far, it is just their performance that matters. Winning and losing are par for the course and that is why they prepare well and compete hard. They are always ready for the competition. No tensions, no anxieties, no worries.

Smooth, but sharp –A pin, a needle, a nail have a sharp point but the rest of it is sleek and smooth. A football or basketball too is smooth but only when it has the air that sharpens its contours. A cricket and golf ball gets its sharpness when the exterior is hard but it is the smoothness that allows it to roll well. In life you can be smooth by being empathetic, polite, respectful, committed, loyal and honest. At the same time you need to be sharp by being assertive, determined, confident, courageous and focused.

Humble, but confident– Success must breed humility not arrogance. Failure must be seen as a stepping stone to success. When you get success, there is no virtue more important that being humble to keep your grounded. When failure unexpectedly makes its rounds in your life, believe that they temporary hiccups and be confident that you are well prepared to overcome the setbacks. As they say, a Lion never roars after a kill; it never has to announce his accomplishments. At the same time be aware that a Lion is successful only 17-20% of the time it attempts a kill. Yet it is supremely confident that it can succeed the next time around. Your humility must never be seen as your weakness nor must your confidence morph into arrogance.

Try these:           

  • What are your three favorite quotes / proverbs / inspirational sayings / poem’s? Do they reflect any of the above core principles of life?
  • Which of the above 4 principles best represent your nature? Which principle do you think you will find most difficult to implement and why?
  • Can you identify one teacher, one friend, one colleague and one relative who best display most of the above principles in their life?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

First things first

First things first

In life there are times when we know what must be done to rectify a situation but either our ego or the fear of retribution or the anxiety of embarrassment hold us back. Yet, on hindsight, we do realize that the benefits of being first to rectify the situation far outweigh the short term concerns that prevent us from doing what is right. Three of the most classic cases of us suffering more for our procrastination in not taking the right step are as under:

Apologizing – The first to apologize is the bravest –  Our fear of retribution or occasionally our ego  will often over ride our sense of justice and we would often delay offering an apology for a mistake we have made or an injustice (albeit mistakenly ) committed. Yet the moment you decide that an apology is warranted and that too quickly, if you can gather the courage to apologize by  stifling the fear and/ or ego, you will realize that it is the bravest decision that you would have taken. Often it is also a very emotionally fulfilling decision because you would otherwise have to carry the guilt around. Mistakes happen to the best of us; however it is the bravest who can quickly apologize and seek forgiveness for the mistake.

Forgiving – The first to forgive is the strongest. – Our petty mindedness would trigger our ego and forgiving a mistake and accepting an apology would become a very difficult proposition. Unnecessarily we believe that by forgiving we are lowering our prestige or letting another go scot-free. The truth is that it takes a lot of courage to pardon someone who has knowingly or unknowingly hurt or troubled us. If we take an eye for an eye approach we would be carrying a burden of acting differently from what we really are. Instead by forgiving one who seeks forgiveness we would have displayed our moral courage and large heart. Forgiveness is a display of good character, sound values and the courage to do the right thing.

Forgetting – The first to forget is the happiest – If one nurtures a grudge, holds a past hurt to fuel fire to take revenge or allow ourselves to be consumed by rage and anger, it takes a toll on our mental peace, physical health and destroys our personal tranquility. For the hurt you feel, the disappointments you face because of others, the bad times that have overwhelmed you and the nagging need to get even with others, only results in you carrying an unseen burden within. Let go of that burden by forgetting the torments, the tormentors and the past and your heart, mind and body would feel lighter, less burdensome and certainly more relaxed. You will be a man with no worries; the person who is happiest.

Try these:           

  • Think of the time when you apologized for a mistake and you were not forgiven. What could be the reason for the other person not willing to forgive you?
  • What is the hurt/ anger/ guilt that you are still carrying around? Why is it that you are not able to forget the incident or forgive the person who hurt you?
  • If at all you have any painful memories of the past, how have you coped with it? Have you tried forgiving and / or forgetting it or the perpetrators if any ?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com