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Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

13-8-Give_Love_Trust_Listen but

While platitudes sound very nice they are often very idealistic and thereby pose a practical difficulty in putting it in practice. Common sense would often gives us the power to discern and be pragmatic but we are prone to give in to our emotional self and thereby go overboard in sharing what we have with others. Today’s tips are guidelines to being better people, involved individuals and model citizens without feeling guilty or feeling victimized.

Give but don’t allow yourself to be used is the mantra that allows us to share all what we have in enough measure. Giving is not just about our worldly possessions or our money but involves sharing our time, our love and our talents with those around. So while we could be giving out alms, doling out for charity and helping others monetarily it should be done only after one has taken care of ones on domestic needs and responsibilities. Similarly one should not be so indulgent as to sacrifice all of one’s times and talents for others at the cost of neglecting those who are family, friends and colleagues.

Love but don’t let your heart to be abused merely focuses attention on the dangers of being blinded by our love be it for our own family members, our dearest possessions or our cravings. Many a wayward child has gone that way because of the indulgent love of their parents that prevented them from taking corrective action even if it was painful. Love is a complicated emotion that has a chamelenousque quality and can quickly change itself to lust, possessiveness, jealousy, obsession, hate to name a few. If any of the above emotions are noticed it is by and large a sure sign that the heart has been abused.

Trust but don’t be naïve is a warning that trust can be betrayed and that there is no point in feeling cheated. Con men for example operate on the theory that there are enough gullible people whose trust can be easily won over and abused. On the other hand one cannot go about suspecting everyone and thereby create an environment of distrust and suspicion. To find the balance one has to trust in another without having blind faith and be clear and decisive about when you would not allow trust to be the only measure of a healthy relationship.

Listen to others but don’t lose your own voice is a clarion call to have an independent thought process that can be articulated without fear or favor. By listening one keeps an open mind, learns to appreciate differing points of view and keeps one’s emotions in check no matter what the provocation. After all is said and done, the individuality in you should find its voice in the manner and way you demonstrate your independent thoughts, words and deeds.

Try this:

Find a way to GIVE of your time to raise funds and donate that to a charity of your choice.

List out 3 of your possessions that you LOVE very much. Now name 3 people known to you who would value any of those possessions if you gave it freely to them.

Name 3 characteristics of a person that would make you wary of them and not TRUST them. Amongst the people you interact can you think of someone you do not trust at all. Does that person demonstrate any of the characteristics you have outlined earlier?

Think of a person whom you know well but whose views you largely disagree with and someone you hate to LISTEN to. How do you express your disagreement to that persons views? How do you convey your views to that person?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Dont forget this reality

Dont forget this reality

This is a good reality check and could perhaps also offer some comfort for YOU reading this at this moment. I bet you can’t deny that you are afraid/ fearful/ scared of something, yearn/ love/ crave for something  and for sure have lost /misplaced/ got fleeced of something. The good news is that this reality holds true for every single person around you. The better news is that despite this all of us can lead a very happy, peaceful and productive life.

Are these some of your fears? Death/ sickness/ failure/ rejection/ pain/ darkness/ loneliness

Did you feel the ecstasy of love? People/ Nature/ animals / gadgets/ places/ works of art

Could losing something precious derail your life? Your loved ones/ your favorite object / your job/ an opportunity/

The above is just an illustrative list. Perhaps you can add your own personal list of fears that have held you back from realizing your full potential or perhaps limited your risk taking abilities. There could be a vacuum created or a searing pain at having to sacrifice something you loved or do feel that you lost your way in life either through ignorance or foolishness or recklessness?

Now look at the cross roads of life that you are now standing at. Notwithstanding your age, background, financial strength and the like, the reality is that not just you but every single person has the same set of apprehensions as you but you now have a choice of making a life changing choice. So how would you now proceed ahead; would you let bygones be bygones and forge ahead taking on new challenges? Will you seek out opportunities to dare, do and win? Will the real you shed all inhibitions and dance with gay abandon?

Life is lived when you dare to confront your fears and overcome it, give abundantly of your love to one and all and freely share with others all that you love…. For that is when you and I when departing, leave behind us, Footprints on the sands of time*

Action Points

  1. Make a list of 3 negative emotions that have troubled you.
  2. Make a list of 3 positive emotions that you count amongst your strengths.
  3. Identify 3 qualities that you wish you could cultivate.
  4. Describe yourself in one sentence not exceeding 15 words.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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This time like all times is a very good one if we but know what to do with it  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last night, I was deeply disappointed that I ran headlong into a writer’s worst nightmare ‘the writer’s block’ and after pottering around for more than an hour attempting to get going with the blog I simply quit. Funnily enough I enjoyed a good sleep but on waking up was racked with pangs of guilt on not writing the blog, suffering the ignominy of being idealess and I suspect more depressed at the blow to my ego. However as the day wore on it occurred to me that the experience of the previous night was not entirely wasted; after all I was subject to the painful realization of my own limitations; having made the decision to give up and go to sleep my dilemma was resolved and I enjoyed blissful sleep; and on waking up I was glad to rediscover my competitive drive. That time (yesterday when I stared for an hour at a blank screen attempting to write)  just like the present moment that I am writing and this moment that you are reading this post are all equally invaluable provided each of us is doing exactly what was/ is required.

Our successes or failures in life are nothing but net effect of the time we spend fruitfully minus the time we waste in doing things that either we ought not to do or should do at another time. Look back at our own student days and reflect on how much effort we put into studies and how much time we spend in day dreaming, hanging out with friends, sleeping, watching movies TV partying etc. It is not as if to suggest that the latter activities are to be avoided but definitely they must be restricted for each of us is fortunately or unfortunately privy only to 24 hours of the day. A good test to understand how much time we utilize productively is to ask if we have any regrets. The more the regrets the greater the waste of our limited time. Ask if you have taken time out to smell the flowers as you traverse the paths of life. If you haven’t then soon you would realize the frustrtionof having the time but squandering it.

Another test to find out if we have made good use of our time is to answer the question’ what will I do with the last 10 minutes of my life?

Ask if you would end telling yourself the following

I will go around telling those whom I love that I love them passionately

I will go around pardoning all those who hurt me

I will go around seeking pardon from those I hurt,

I will loosen my purse strings and liberally give out to charity etc.

Some questions that will haunt you then are

Can  I do all this in 10 minutes?

Should I have not done this all the time?

Why did I waste my time on frivolous things when I should have spend more time with loved ones?

Was my life worth whatever I achieved?

Will someone really grieve for me?

Remember:

Happy the man, and happy he alone,

He, who can call to-day his own:

He who, secure within, can say:

“To-morrow, do thy worst, for I have liv’d to-day.”

Try this:

  1. Ask yourself right now if this is the right time to read the blog. If your answer is yes then go on and read a few more blog posts including the weekly post at www.poweract.blogspot.com If your answer is NO, then stop reading and slot a time to read and henceforth make it a point to read these posts only at that time.
  2. Any time is perfect to do the following. Ensue that you practice as many of these as often as you can.
  • Smile
  • Thank
  • Apologize
  • Praise
  • Reflect
  • Appreciate
  • Pardon
  • Pray

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad. Arnold H. Glasow

It is tough to find good friends not because they are not made anymore, but because the slightest of misunderstandings can kill a beautiful friendship. People today tend to be more sensitive, have greater expectations from friends and are quick to pull the plug from a potentially lifelong friendship because they get impatient, take offense easily and often let their ego overrule their judgment. On the other hand if one has the ability to be non judgmental and love a friend unconditionally, overlook his/ her faults nonchalantly and be able to put with their idiosyncrasies be it their silly jokes or their oversensitive outbursts then the fruits of those friendship never go stale and they will make our life heavenly.

Friendships blossom on compatibility, affection and trust. Each of these parameters poses a challenge and it also provides the platform for friendships to begin, grow and blossom. Most people view compatibility to mean that good friendship s can be formed only by people in near similar age groups. This is largely true because many friendships are formed during school and college days and invariably all the friends are in a similar age bracket. However the critical factor in compatibility is the meeting of minds; the ability to find common ground, the possibility of moving ahead hand in hand and the insight to reconcile differences if any.  Many a friendship has perished when the apparent initial compatibility began crumbling under the weight of impossible expectations and unreasonable demands.

While compatibility can be there between people as it is possible with two people who share a common interest or hobby, it does not necessarily mean that they have any affection for each other. Affection begins with understanding and then proceeds to the next step of liking and culminates in being completely at ease in each other’s company. Many a time they understand each other so well that they are able to instinctively anticipate each other’s emotions and feelings be it one of elation or sorrow. Trust is what cements a friendship. Trust is all about having implicit faith in one another being able to see only the good in the friend, being able to overlook the idiosyncrasies and quirks of the friend and being able to stand up for the friend through thick and thin. Trust will ensure that friends are open in their communications, respect each other’s individuality and be magnanimous in pardoning friends faults. A true friend will never let a good relationship die because of lack of trust.

The challenge to maintaining friendship is in ensuring that all the three pillars of friendship remain strong and upright always. Communication is a critical ingredient in the reinforcing the bonds of friendship. Humor is another factor that goes a long way in cheering up friendships. Above all faith in one another will eliminate misunderstandings, suppress ego’s and ignite the candle of friendship on the rare occasions that the flame gets blown away. The beauty of true friendship lies in its nebulous property to endure the limitations posed by time, space, silence, indifference and separation.

Remember: “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”  Brandi Snyder

Try this:

  1. Pause and look back at a close friendship which has either died out or that has end on a bitter note. Can you make the effort to forgive and forget and begin again by reaching out to that close friend and making him/ her know that you still value their friendship?  If you are rebuffed do not take it personally but try to ignore the hurt and rather cherish the good old days.
  2. Some friendships become too demanding and it is possible that we are guilty of having too many expectations from a friend which ultimately snapped the friendship. Some friendships may have withered away for lack of effective interaction and communications.  If you feel that you are guilty of either of these two strikes that robbed you of a very good friendship, put your ego behind and rekindle the friendship. You may discover that the new bond is stronger than ever before.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Hold a true friend with both your hands. Nigerian proverb

First of all, apologies to all my readers for uploading this blog a wee bit late. As I was out of town, despite my best efforts this post and the subsequent post could not be written and uploaded on time.

One of the things that money can never buy is a good friend. Unfortunately money attracts a lot of friends but most of them are more interested in the good things that our money can buy and ultimately almost all these friends turn out to be fair weather friends. It is those friends who we make more because of our common bonding, comfort level and above all implicit trust who will become our confidant, companion and collaborator. Yet we would make the painful realization that many a time, some of our closest friends have faded away from our lives and it is only much later that we wake up to the realization that we have missed out on an invaluable relationship.

If we are to look back and trace the roots of how and when these friendships started fading away, the one striking realization we would make is that invariably most friendships faded because of a break down in communication. When either we have not kept in touch with them over extended periods of time or vice versa, the bonding that is originally sealed gets weakened and gives way and then before we realize it, the friendship has ceased to exist. Other times, misunderstandings and mistrust snip of the thread of friendship and then it is very difficult to sew the whole thing up again. In fact good friendship gone bad can actually lead to enmity which is the opposite of friendship.

 It is clear therefore that friendships may blossom suddenly but it is imperative that we nurture it with care and affection. It is essential that we make the realization that no one can take friendships for granted. There are so many emotions at play in a friendship, that it is imperative that we pay close attention to how these emotions have a bearing on friendships. The most important thing is never to take emotions of our friends for granted. Sometimes a mild teasing or a sarcastic comment or a hurtful remark could spark out tensions between friends and be very damaging to the relationship. Other times our impatience, our inability to listen or our habit of not taking our friends into confidence can have serious negative repercussions on friendships. We must also watch out for our own emotions that maybe triggered by our own ego, emotions or poor judgment that may precipitate a crisis that can strain a friendship.

The one common balm that can always ensure that friendships will endure and can be mended is honest communication. At the first signs of a strain in friendship or relationships, the moment we are uncomfortable with some thought, idea or observation of a friend or when we have the urge to clarify or apologize to a friend, we must instinctively use all means of communication to reach out. We are fortunate to live in an electronic age where we have so many varied and discreet ways of communicating effectively we need to use all those means. It would also help if we develop that ability to be proactive and actually take the lead in surprising friends with little gifts, some surprises and some out of the way pampering. We often do it when in love with someone of the opposite sex, but seem to miss out on using it to nurture the real friendships. Finally leaving aside all our ego and hurt aside we must develop the fine qualities of apologizing and forgiving. With these twin balms in our custody, all hurt and ill will can be got rid off and we can nurture friendships to bloom all the year round life long.

Remember. : Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose  Tennessee Williams

Try this:

  1. Look back and recollect 3 good friendships that you could not nurture and wish you could be in touch with them and review the old bond. Are there some tips from the above blog post that you believe that you can immediately implement to activate those friendships?
  2. With the New Year season around the corner how about exploring the possibilities of getting gifts for some friends and surprising them?  Don’t wait for the New Year’s eve to do it. Go today and explore possibilities both for friends and family.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog   www.poweract.blogspot.com

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They are rich who have true friends. Thomas Fuller

It is not said for nothing, that a dog is man’s best friend.  A dog is completely loyal, non judgmental, gives itself completely to its master and would never ever betray the trust placed in it. If there is a flaw in a dog, it is its inability to communicate in words, but there again it more than makes up by its phenomenal non verbal communication, the furious wag of its tail, snuggling up and its mournful demeanor when it senses tragedy and pain around. Can we claim to have a human friend who has all these attributes? If you can honestly say yes, then you are the RICHEST person in this world.

Our need for friendship and companionship emits from the reality that we are social creatures who cannot live in isolation. When seen from this point of view, it follows that we will naturally socialize, befriend people, perhaps dislike some and be indifferent to the vast majority. We would also identify some people with whom we share a good connect, feel comfortable in their company, trust them even though occasionally they may hurt you, rush to them when emergency calls and magnanimously forgive them when they may have wronged us. The common name given to such a relationship that evolves is friendship. It may begin as a casual acquaintance, with more interaction it can develop into a friendship, with proximity it can blossom into a good friendship and with intimacy and trust it can flower into an intimate friendship.

Most friendships would be seen as having a strong commonality like similar age group, social status, financial status, shared value systems and styles and of course common interests and strong mutual bonding. However, there could also plenty of friendships that hinge simply on the pure comfort level that people enjoy with no other major commonality to speak about. Comfort level holds the key to enduring friendships. We might have strongly differing views on many issues but if we have the comfort level and trust a strong friendship will naturally blossom and there would be strong ties that bind. In such intimate friendships there can be gross misunderstandings, deep hurts caused by one another and even the threat of broken friendship might loom in the background, but most intimate friendships over come it as long as the ego does not play spoilt sport. Saying sorry and the magnanimity of forgiveness must be embedded in an in the friendship to qualify to be called an intimate friendship.

The bond of friendship transcends widely differing thought process, diametrically opposite styles and even possibly complete different value systems simply because friends find a treasure of love that tramples over these differences.  Some friendships involve tremendous sacrifices like lovers who are hounded by societal pressures or standing by a friend accused of gross misdeeds. It is these visible examples of boding that become so priceless that such friends actually believe that they have the greatest treasure the treasure of enduring friendship. In some extreme cases, friendships may have to be sacrificed for it to be really realized as it would happen if two ardent lovers have to give up their passions just so that social stigma and ostracization will not make life hell for either one or both of the parties involved. The ultimate testimony to the riches of friendships is ironically in the sacrifice that a person makes with his life to ensure longevity for the friend. The battle field is resplendent with examples of such rich and heroic friendships.

Remember: “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”

Try this:

  1. Can you think of the 3 greatest sacrifices you have made for a friend? Did you feel these sacrifices were acknowledged by the friend? Do you regret not having stood by your friend at any time? Do you remember the time when a friend let you down badly? How did you feel and how did you react then?
  2. Read the poignant Eulogy to a Dog by George Graham Vest by clicking this link http://www.milwinkennel.com/poems/FaithfulFriend.htm

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Talking about God is not at all the same thing as experiencing God, or acting out God through our lives. Phillip Hewett

God has been central to the lives of human kind and religion has been the vehicle used to reinforce the belief in god amongst the believers. Religion itself has evolved over time and has acquired various hues, has been instrumental in polarizing people and continues to be the epicenter of fundamentalism, bigotry and extremism.  When objectively studied from the point of view of the metamorphosis of religion over time two facts emerge – God becomes a tool in the hands of the religious and we become slaves to our religion. In effect what we end up doing is preaching and practicing as per our convenience.

To begin with almost all religions have a predominantly ritualistic bias. This is partly a social need so as to rally in numbers and become aware of our faith. Without exception each religion fiercely protects its turf from any form of thought that even remotely questions its dogma or authorities. Followers are happy in the solace they draw from the unknown power of God and rationalize their suffering, pain and fears. They will with impunity amass wealth illegally, part with the spoils under the garb of religious donations and won’t hesitate to pay obeisance at the cost of other ordinary mortals. The outward symbol of religion becomes the focus of people, while they blissfully ignore, sidestep or blind themselves to the core of religion viz. experiencing God and being a living example of God.

To experience God the fundamental requirement is deep faith, undying love and crystal clear values. When these are aligned, one can experience GOD in the wonders of the beauty that abounds in this world; be it the beautiful sunrise or sunset, the lush green meadows and flowers that bloom in spring or in the dazzle of the fireflies that light up the dark evening. One can experience it in the silence of the heart or in the chanting of the prayers; in the solemnity of the rituals or the boisterousness of festivity. The peak experience is the peace and calmness that pervades our stressful life, the joy and ecstasy in the  cry of a new born and the comfort that we get in believing that a loved has gone on to eternal reward.

The ultimate experience is in being a living example. We must be able to touch other lives with empathy and love bringing peace and hope to all those who come in contact with us. We must be prepared to sacrifice so that others can benefit; be merciful just as we are merciful judged by the God we believe in and be unbiased and fair and ensure that everyone gets justice without fear or favor.  If we truly love god we must be able to spread that love to every human being that we are privileged to reach out to through our own personal, caring and loving touch be it in words, thoughts or deeds.

Remember: “What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.” Eleanor Powell

Try this:

  1. Read the famous Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi by clicking the following link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prayer_of_Saint_Francis You can also hear the audio song by clicking on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRvtkZs7oNg
  2. If you are finding it hard to be at peace, not experiencing the joy and happiness of life, if every day is stressful then ask yourself if you truly experiencing God in your life or being an example to others.  Examine the inconsistencies in your life where you are often found doing what troubles your conscience be it telling lies, defaming people, being brash, rude and brazen or pilfering and robbing, being unfaithful etc.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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