Category: Mistakes

View the trailer of your life’s coming attractions by being imaginative and constructive

7-10Jun 14- View the trailer of your life to be

If our life were a movie, how interesting it would be to see the trailer of it and feel the thrill and excitement that is yet to come. No doubt there would be moments of pain and anguish, disappointments and frustrations, but like most movies, the end would always be a happy, idealistic and hopefully enjoyable one. Unfortunately, the movie of our life is scripted daily and so we continue to be a hero/ heroine on the stage of our life, little knowing what is scripted for us. Fortunately, we are also blessed with the gift of imagination, which enables us to take charge of our life, script and direct it the way we want to and succeed in large measure to have the most idyllic ending. So get set to telescope your imagination into your future and script your own success. Doing this is a simple matter of being imaginative ; begin by stating your life goals, anticipate the success you will achieve, roll up your sleeves and participate in the process, creating something tangible that you imagined and celebrating your achievements.

State – We often have wild fantasies, crazy ideas, some passionate beliefs, some out of the box thoughts etc but rarely do we ink it out and mull over it. As long as you can transcribe your imagination into words/ pictures/ doodles you will be able to attempt some work on it. Imagination should begin in the head but must be stated and spelled out clearly. Right now the best way to utilize the learning from the post is to jot down at least 3 ideas that came to your mind as you read this post.

Anticipate – If you have written down at least one idea, you would notice that your mind is already thinking about it even as you read the post. There is a sense of anticipation that the idea is workable. You are already evaluating alternatives to make the idea work. If you haven’t got an idea, you are reading further in the hope that you will get an ideas you read the post or at least at some point get some idea sometime later. Notice that it is this anticipation of getting a benefit that is motivating you to read. So stating your goal or vision or idea or dream helps you anticipate the next possibilities to attain your stated objective.

Participate – If you want things to happen, you have to start moving things. This essentially means you have to participate in the process. You give wings to your imagination and soar towards your goal by building the wings through effort, team work, rework, network and hard work. Even when you play a game, the key is your participation; if you don’t participate you can neither enjoy the game and for sure you cannot expect to succeed in the game. Participation must as far as possible be voluntary, self driven and pleasurable.

Create – As you sow so shall you reap; your intent, purpose, extent and passion in participation will determine what and how you create and achieve your goals/ dreams/ wish list. The process of translating your imagination into something tangible could be frustrating, backbreaking and dodgy. Yet, the experience would be invaluable, the rewards exhilarating and self fulfillment complete. There are times we won’t achieve perfection, some outcomes would be disappointing and criticism can be a constant companion but as long as you are progressing towards your goal and creating your dreams into reality, your life will be fulfilling.

Celebrate– The best part of imagination is not in day dreaming but in realizing that dream; in being a part of the achievement; in sharing the joy of the success and in relishing the fruits of success. Achievement is not merely a statistic but a vibrant creation and you are the heartbeat that pumps life into that creation.

Give your imagination wings and then use them to soar up high and enjoy the view.

Try this

  • How would you creatively / imaginatively dispose of your old clothes, books, footwear, odds and ends that are unnecessarily occupying space?
  • If you were to organize a party what unique games will you incorporate to make the party more entertaining and participative.
  • Considering your academics and interest, think up 3 unique career opportunities that you can possibly explore.

PS: Transcribe your answers into tangible achievements in the next 6 month.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Using your personal power

13-19-Use your power

Even before you read further, ask yourself what are the 3 things that you have done/ achieved in your life that you are most proud of. Do any of those proud moments also include a display of physical or moral courage? For the vast majority of those reading this post, finding 3 achievements to be proud of could possibly be a challenge and certainly finding an achievement displaying courage of any sort could be even more challenging. The simple truth is that for the better part of our life, we are comfortable just meeting the bare requirements that life demands of us. Today’s post exhorts each reader to explore, discover and create a new life in which you experience life in new hues.

 

Here are 4 ways to emit your own frequency and thereby leverage your potential, discover yourself and impact the world around you.

 

Be aware – Awareness comes from being alert and responsive to happenings around. You are often alert when you are fearful/ anxious and every creaking sound and unusual movement would be noticed by you. Being aware constantly takes much more effort and even more discipline. The key is to align all your 5 senses and discipline them to be responsive to all that goes on around. Awareness enables one to make intelligent choices, take rational decisions and maintain equilibrium in life no matter where there is ecstasy or panic. E.g. you are passing by a school long after the school children have gone home after school and you notice a primary student loitering around. Your awareness will force you to pause and observe the child and your senses will alert you to  find out more about why the child has not gone home.

 

Be sensitive – This will enable one to better appreciate a person and / or a situation. Being sensitive is all about putting yourself in the situation and understanding the individual caught in it. When you are sensitive your response would be more empathetic, possibly logical but laced with ample heart and it would definitely be a response that will linger long after the moment has passed. E.g. You are waiting for a rick/ taxi while it is pouring heavily and soon a heavily pregnant lady and her husband join you also anxiously waiting for a conveyance. Chances are that you would if sensitive enough allow them to avail of the first conveyance that comes along.

 

Be proactive – Many of us are relatively more aware and sensitive but when it comes to being proactive and taking the initiative we are held back by a number of doubts, visualize numerous obstacles that seem to block our path and fear the possible negative consequences of our proactive responses. For the better part of our lives we have been reactive and hence conditioned that way. How many of us have willingly participated in extracurricular activities at school or college or willingly given answers to questions asked in class when you knew the answer? Being proactive is relatively simple for people who are aware and sensitive because their heart and mind simply prompt the body to act but we still need to overcome our hesitation. E.g. you notice an advertisement about an interesting lecture by an eminent personality on a topic of your deep interest. Only if you are proactive will you make the extra effort to attend the lecture. Your effort would be well worth it but it is up to you to make it happen.

 

Be responsible – Taking responsibility sounds easy but in reality we hanker to take credit but find excuses or accuse others for failures. Taking responsibility means you take ownership and therefore you have to do everything in your power to ensure the success of the undertaking. This could involve commitment of resources, delegation of tasks, managing crisis, finding innovative solutions, taking tough decisions etc. The challenge in taking responsibility is having the daring to empower yourself and if successful sharing credit with the team and if success eludes then taking on the brickbats solely. Since the pay offs of responsibility seem skewed, many of us prefer to shirk responsibility and prefer to be just another team member. Leaders are those who have trained themselves to take on responsibility. E.g.  If you are organizing a picnic or a party there are too many nitty-gritty’s to be taken care off. Often finding someone to take on the responsibility is a challenge for at end of day no matter who organizes there will be some criticism and so the initial response is to side step the opportunity to showcase one’s leadership skills.

 

Try this:

 

This coming festival season instead of sending e-greetings identify 10 very dear people for whom you would buy greeting cards that suit the specific individual. Now write a personal message in each card and send it by snail mail to the respective individuals.

 

Choose a unique way to celebrate this festive season by focusing on impacting the lives of those in hospitals / prisons/ war veterans homes (like the paraplegic home in Kirkee Pune)/ leprosy rehabilitation center.

 

Reflect on the one quality or talent that you posses. Now think of 3 unique ways / situations in which you can proactively and responsibly use your talent/ quality/ ability for the benefit of others.

 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Reboot your life

13-14-Reboot your life with a new software

As we meander through life, there are many times when we question ourselves about the path we are traversing, the goal we are aspiring for and the means we adopt to arrive at our destination. For many others life is not a walk in the park but a race against time and even they would be occasionally haunted by similar thoughts. We struggle to find a proper answer not because we ask the wrong question but because we dismiss the answers that stare at us as illogical or improbable. Far too often life simply tells us to reboot our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self with a rider that we need to upgrade our system before the reboot.

Since childhood, by and large, the family, our educational and our social environment have had a major influence on our thoughts and decisions. Our personal system is therefore loaded with version 1, with occasional patches that selectively upgrade bits and pieces of our self, mainly academic, professional and personal. However in a fast paced, evolving world, keeping up with the changes around calls for constant upgrades in our personal operating system. At times our hardware would seem inadequate but with some creative tweeking we can even ensure that our hardware to is adequate to meet the system requirements.

To ensure your personal hardware and software is kept up to date here are some areas to focus upon.

Urge to learn

Overcoming inhibitions is the first step to learning.  Be it a new skill or coping with the demands of evolving technology one must shed our inhibitions and plunge ahead. Many a time we do succumb to believing in the old adage of ‘ an old dog cannot learn new tricks’; instead focus on learning new things to feel and remain young.

Being open to possibilities and ideas is a natural byproduct of the urge to learn. Reading opens windows to numerous possibilities. Similarly thinking and reflecting stimulates ideas. Interaction with others, experimenting, attempting something offbeat, seeking alternatives are ways and means of expanding the possibilities and ideas that we can leverage.

Being proactive

Seek opportunities could involve moving out of our comfort zone and taking risks. Instead of waiting for things to happen, we must make things happen. Every problem no matter what the gravity of it is, offers each of us a chance to use all our faculties to come up with solutions.

Connect with the changing environment and embrace the new dynamics. Don’t wait for changes to take you by surprise but go out an meet them. Dinosaurs they say became extinct because they did not or could not adapt to change; don’t let that be your fate.

Dare to be different

Listen to the heart for it can give you the confidence and the gumption to do things which could challenge your confidence, stretch you to the limits and yet free your spirit and allow you to soar. Ever thought of being a Santa Claus at a mall and entertain the kids? So what is stopping you from attempting it?

Don’t be intimidated by the enormity of the challenges or your own lack of experience. Remember there is always a first time for everything. More importantly remember that failure is only a blip not the end; for almost everything in life we don’t get it right the first time. Ever seen a baby taking its first steps; tentative, unsure but never inhibited.

Enjoy the moments

Find lessons in failures and disappointments for it will give you a reason to rework, retry and redeem yourself and realize that success can be relished when we can confront our failures and disappointments.

Create happiness as often as you can and a smile is just the simplest way to traversing that path. Letting the child in you come to the fore, listening to the woes of others, offering encouragement, being large hearted be it in forgiving or in sharing time, talent and money are some other avenues that we need to explore. Learning to appreciate comes a close second to smiling when it comes to creating happiness.

Try this:

Urge to learn – learn a new language, a new game, explore a new place / hobby, gentlemen should attempt a role reversal and do the normal chores done by the lady in the house.

Be proactive – write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper on local issues until at least 2 letters are published. Go visit a prison / mental asylum.

Dare to be different- Ladies should try and learn a percussion instrument for at least a month. Gentlemen are encouraged to learn some form of classical dancing for a month.

Enjoy the moments – Write down 3 positives you got from your biggest failure you have experienced. Think of the best compliments you ever received from a non family member or friend.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Launching yourself

13-9- One step back 2 forward

It is that time of the year when the exam fever is at its peak and both students and parents are in a tizzy coping with the stress of doing well in the exams. The real stress actually comes a wee bit later as the day of the results draws near. While for some there could be jubilation, for a fair amount of people there could be dejection but the vast majority would be plagued by a sinking feeling that the outcome could have been or should have been better. An analysis would possibly reveal that an overwhelming majority are disappointed that the outcomes fell short of their expectations. In effect just about everyone seems to think that the academic pursuits have actually dragged them back or atleast impeded them in the race to a successful future.

The scene with the adults is no different. On one hand they seem to be dragged down by the weight of propping up their wards to excel, they also are bogged down by the pressure to attain personal success professionally, financially, personally and socially. Many a time, success seems elusive, the goals seem distant and the pressure becomes overwhelming. The collective weight of balancing personal expectations, professional growth and domestic bliss seem to be huge load to manage. Often we are tempted to throw in the towel and give up; our spirits are drooping and the rewards seem unappetizing.

Yet it is at the very nadir that one must dig his /her heels in, take a deep breath and with faith and hope launch a herculean effort. Be it an arrow, a trigger or a shotput; to get results we need to take that vital pull back to get the momentum to hit the mark. Take a look at a pole vaulter and notice the sharp arch of the pole brought about by the weight of the individual before the momentum and the technique dramatically enables the pole valuter to go much higher than the pole and safely cross over the barrier. The subtle message is that one often needs to take one step back before one can take two steps forward.

Success is often like a game of snakes and ladders. There are times when we get lucky and climb up faster but many a time we get gobbled up by the snake and come right down. Do we stop playing the game every time we get gobbled by a snake? The challenge in real life is not to let the snakes, be it poor academics or a personal handicap or poor self esteem or financial setbacks or a colossal blunder, become an excuse to give up.

Try this:

  1. Go to a long jump pit and stand at the edge and jump. Have 3 tries and measure the best effort. Now walk back 10 steps and then run down and jump and measure the distance. You can be sure the latter effort where you actually walked back, away from the pit and then gave it your all gave you superlative jump.
  2. Find out the personal limitations / failures that the following overcame before they achieved success
  • Ludwig van Beethoven
  • Helen Keller
  • B. S. Chandrasekhar
  • Walt Disney
  • Tapishwar Narain Raina

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Being human…

13-5-We are human

The reality of life is something that most of us are prone to misconstrue as being unfair to us. The prime reason for this is our focus on what we crave and do not have and our envy of those who have what we crave. At times when things seem to be going our way or are in a happy frame of mind, we do appreciate the blessings we have but these periods of bliss are far few and in between. So how does one etch happiness into our psyche?

Happiness is a state of mind and the key then is to fine tune the mind to allow happiness to seep in and envelope us. This is best done as under:

Appreciate the reality:

We need to appreciate the fact that we are human. This means that we can think, we can emote and we can decide.

We need to realize that we are not perfect and as a result we have to learn to forgive ourselves, tolerate the mistakes of others and make efforts to correct the mistakes rather than give up in hopelessness.

We need to be ecstatic that we are alive for we now have limitless opportunities to leave our mark in this world and energize the environment around us.

 Focus then on thinking positively, being more forgiving and grasping opportunities.

 Realize the truth:

That as human beings we will make mistakes, we stumble, we fall and we may even get hurt. The truth is that these are like vaccination pricks that are temporarily painful but leave a long term positive effect in ensuring our well being. Seen in this light, it dawns on us that every fall makes us more humble, every mistake teaches us a new lesson and that hurt is a mechanism to alert us to impending dangers that can be avoided through caution and alertness.

Every setback, every tumble we take and every obstacle that comes our way is just a blip in the larger scheme of life; recognize this truth and you shall be free of worries.

 Clasp all possibilities  

Understand the innumerable possibilities that come with the knowledge that we can rise again, we can try again, we keep learning and we keep growing. Seen amputees participate in games and athletics or heard Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata a classic that one finds hard to believe has been composed by a deaf composer. If these seem extreme examples, look at the physically, financially or academically challenged in and around you who have succeeded despite all odds.

So do you see the innumerable opportunities around you just waiting for you to clasp them and turn them into successes?

Embrace life

Now be thankful for the priceless opportunity of life for as long as life exists we can find happiness in the little things and big things that surround us.

Don’t forget that LIFE is Love Inside Finding Expression – start with loving yourself.

Try this:

Write down the following immediately

  • The one new learning you would like to acquire E.g. Learning a new sport or language
  • The one physical good that you desperately want to posses, which is a realistic possibility for you sometime in the next 5 years. E.g. A high end music system (name the brand of your choice)
  • The one limitation / trait that you would want to eliminate at the earliest. E.g. Being more decisive or being more organized
  • The one change you would like to bring to your life E.g. Lose weight or spend more time with family etc.

Now work on ways to realize these desires before the end of 2013

  1. Click on this link and watch this inspirational and motivational talk by Nick Vujicic a truly physically challenged but most engaging speaker http://tinyurl.com/6oqnzk
  2. Click on this link and watch the Last Lecture by Prof. Randy Pausch to appreciate the need to embrace life  http://tinyurl.com/2z3wsx

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Enjoy the little things in life…

13-4-Little things matter

In the week gone by, this blog has crossed 1,50,000 views and now has 875 odd followers. A BIG THANK YOU to all of you patronizing this blog. For me this amazing journey started on 1st Jan 2010 and as I look back I am both surprised at my own gumption to try and write every day (which I did justice to in 2010) and grateful to my blog followers both for their feedback (largely favorable) and for providing me the motivation to keep writing. Today’s blog post, is also a tribute to all of you my readers, for as the daily views and increasing followers list came in trickles initially, they laid the foundation of the milestone I mark today. Thank you buddies. Jacob

Nostalgia they say is recalling the fun without revealing the pain. No matter what your age, if you are reading this now, you would definitely have enough years behind you to look back and visualize the wonders that have lit up your life at various times. Cut to childhood; the earliest recollection of your birthday celebration would bring a tear in your eye, a lump in your throat, a heaviness in the heart but most of all an unmatched thrill and joy. Perhaps another birthday celebration could trigger a wave of ecstatic emotions with you as the focus but love as all encompassing.

It is not all fun and joy that we recollect all the time. Perhaps there are painful memories too of the first punishment that you got for no fault of yours. Or the nasty injury you suffered when playing a highly competitive sport or perhaps you missed the finals that you looked forward to playing because of suspension. Yet when you look back at these moments, what remains etched more than the pain is the realization that those were defining moments that shaped you into what you are. Perhaps the injustice of being unfairly punished made you subconsciously more sensitive to others or it could be the reason why you are far harsher to those who are guilty.

Remember the first gift you gave your first crush or it could be your lovelorn mushy mushy little note. If you can recollect the contents, you might even unconsciously squirm at the realization of your immaturity then and the frivolous nothings that you conjured up. Yet, that day you grew up to overcome your inhibitions, overcame your apprehensions and learned to be more decisive. Remember the reluctant way you went through the mandatory social service visit to the local orphanage or old age home. Once you got over your initial shock and surprise at what you experienced there, the human values in you kicked in and they, the inmates, suddenly became an extension of your life. Perhaps those moments made you strive for success so that you would not meet a similar fate or turned you into a large hearted person, who gives at every opportunity without the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing.

Pause a moment to remember the school days. The mischief, the examination phobia, the elation at unexpected academic success, your share of the punishment that you had to endure, the words of praise or congratulations that also came your way which was the icing on the cake called schooling. Perhaps the memories of some exceptional teachers have become a role model for you in life, the strict teachers that you resented then now remain idols who were fair and impartial though strict. The patience of others who understood your limitations in keeping pace with the others or those who secretly sympathized with your struggles or those who tactfully highlighted your strengths and pepped you up are now memories that well up your heart.

Finally family, parents, siblings, elders and neighbors and pets; can you just remember in one sentence how they left a mark on you? Love would be a common theme but for some it could be the harshness of not being able to get their affection or it could be their inability to appreciate you that hurts. Yet the precious moments spent with them would each hold a lingering fragrance of experience, affection, guidance, intrigue, regret in some cases, hurt in some very rare cases but a definite impact in all cases.

Beginning today, seek out those moments consciously, hold on to them in memories tenderly and embrace them tightly in the cockles of your heart.

Try this:

List out the following

  • The 3 happiest moments of the your life so far
  • The most painful moment you experienced
  • The most unexpected surprise you got
  • The best gift that you ever received
  • The most unfair criticism that you have received
  • The 3 mistakes that still make you cringe
  • The 1 love (each) of your life which is – a person, a place, a thing, an animal

Write down the first thought that comes to mind when you have to name

  • The best book you ever read
  • The worst book that you would not suggest to anyone
  • The best movie you have seen
  • The movie you couldn’t sit through
  • The most impactful proverb/ saying
  • The silliest feedback you have ever got
  • The best meal you ever ate in a restaurant
  • The worst foodie experience

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Accept me as I am today…

Accept me as I am
Accept me as I am

Our human frailty makes us vulnerable to making mistakes and being condemned for it. It is also our human frailty that makes us so critical, harsh and cruel enough to perpetually condemn those who could have faltered but have atoned for their folly. Our frailty fortunately is not a unalterable trait for we are also blessed with the boon of change, the facility of realization, the temperament to atone and the capacity to make up and undo the damage. Yet when it comes to being charitable to others we take a moral high ground and end up admonishing and chastening the unfortunate souls who would faltered whilst traversing the pathway of life. Pause for a moment and ask yourself how you would like to be apprised by others; would you like them to pinpoint your past follies or would you desperately want them to focus on the your current achievements?

Class reunions are a wonderful occasion to look around and actually witness the progress and success that almost everyone has achieved. Yet time and time again, we tend to bring up many an unflattering incidence during the years of schooling relating to specific individuals, merely to have a good laugh without realizing that the person in question may have moved on life winning accolades and begetting a hallowed status in society. Again put yourself in the shoes of that individual who may have flunked a test or got caught cheating in an exam but thereafter by dint of hard work become very successful. Would you not like to be acknowledged for the success achieved and deeply resent being flogged for a juvenile mistake. The question is, are we as charitable to others as we would want them to be towards us?

It is possible that even as we read this post we are sure we would always be charitable to others and that the contents of the blog post is not applicable to us. You may be right, but ponder about your readiness to work alongside a rehabilitated convict. Would you readily employ a suspect in a crime even if he/ she has been acquitted of the crime? If these sound like extreme examples, look back and ponder over the times you have accused someone or tale tattled about someone merely based on hear say. There are shades of judging and convicting someone particularly someone who we are ill at ease with or someone whom we are not comfortable with.  How often have we passed judgment about someone merely based on their dress and physical appearance?

The best way to give people a second chance is by seeking the good in them and accentuating that. This is more easily achieved when we begin to appreciate that no one really wants to be a deviant and their follies could often have been committed either due to poor judgment or a moment of weakness or out of sheer desperation. We as individuals have every right and duty to exercise a judgment call when it is appropriate but we also have an obligation to give others reason to believe in themselves and turn over a new leaf.

Try this:

  1. Write down 5 qualities that best describe you. Now go around with a list of 25 positive qualities and ask your family, close friends, colleagues and acquaintances to choose 5 qualities that best describe you from that list . You will have a fair idea of how you perceive yourself and how others see you.
  2. Think of the following
  • The 3 most embarrassing moments of your life
  • The 3 serious acts of dishonesty you have committed
  • The 3 biggest lies you have said
  • The 3 wickedest thoughts that have occurred to you

Now assuming that someone knew about any or all of these how would you feel if reference was made to any of the above acts in public by that person?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Be true to yourself

Nature has been very kind to mankind and that is why it has put an auto program within us in the form of our senses to help us protect ourselves from danger. Ever realized how is it that when we inadvertently touch something hot we instantaneously draw away from it or how quickly we sense danger when we smell a burning odor or stale food is immediately sensed by the tongue. The senses are programmed by nature to be true to the duty of self preservation.

The problem arises when we have to depend on ourselves for progress, growth and happiness. To this end, we are largely dependent on our academics, intellect, behavior, attitude, skill sets and motivation for setting our goals and attaining them. The very stumbling block for many begins with the academics where we are prone to expect more marks than our effort and intellect, succumb to the temptation to use unfair means so as to boost our marks and / or happily make peace with the results and rationalize that you have done your best. In effect we are just not being true to our abilities, our potential or our conscience. If you get marks that you really do not deserve, does it mean that you are academically superior to the rest? Do you think you can continue your bluff in your professional life? The replies to these questions should be again answered honestly and you would have made an important step in the pursuit of being true to yourself.

It is said that a clear conscience is the best pillow; implying thereby that if one is true to one’s self you can always enjoy a blissful sleep. In having a clear conscience one is not merely troubled by deceit, lies or improprieties that one may have lapsed into but the bigger pricks of conscience are brought about by a feeling of inadequacy that one has not discharged one’s duties effectively, not stood up to protest injustice or when one has merely sat on the fence when having to take a decisive stand. Not keeping ones promise is just a simple example of negligence in discharging ones obligation but there could be larger issues like not helping out an accident victim or not exercising one’s franchise during the elections. It may be pertinent to emphasize here that  while not voting could be viewed as an insignificant event that does not prick one’s conscience it is this collective lack of conscience that ultimately give us poor political leadership. Perhaps if each of us was true to ourselves our environment would have been a much better place to live in.

Look around and be aware of your critics. Perhaps some of those critics are people who have some differences or dislike towards you and many of their criticisms could be frivolous. There could be other critics who fail to appreciate your point of view or the reasons or intent behind your actions/ responses that they criticize. Then there are a few who are very very close to you and it this proximity to you that gives them the liberty to be more judgmental and honest in their critical feedback. What is important for you is to realize that there is always an element of truth in most of the criticisms and it is an excellent feedback to help one improve. The more important lesson though is that your friends, fans and supporters will always far outnumber your critics and most of them will never be true to you when it comes to telling you your faults, your limitations, your weaknesses or the area of improvementYou improve and progress only by being honest and true to yourself, for you and only you know yourself; only you know your fears, your ambitions, your apprehensions, your limitations, your abilities, your insecurities, your frustrations, your desires, your cravings, your hopes, your expectations, your values.

Try this:

  1. Write down your strengths and weakness and also your fears and aspirations. Make as elaborate a list as possible. Now try and honestly rate each point in each of the 4 grids and number it from 1 onwards, 1 being the most important priority. Now candidly visualize how each of the fort points in each grid impacts your decisions / your approach/ your progress.
  2. Identify 3 of the following characters and jot down one honest negative feedback you would give each of them. Think of how you will package that feedback to make it more acceptable to the recipient without your relationship being affected.

–          Friends

–          Colleagues

–          Relatives

–          School/ college mates

–          Subordinate/ junior / employee

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Life is like making tea…

This is an apt simile that offers so many possibilities to make life interesting, joyful and fulfilling. By following it, one can distill the best that life has to offer and it would make for a refreshing perspective to life.

Here is the way, to make that brew called life, perfect.

Boil your ego. Our ego is what gives us our pride, our individuality and our self respect. Unfortunately, far too often we have a bloated ego, a false sense of pride and quite often mistake unpleasant feedback got from others as an affront to our self respect. A more objective look and a realistic assessment of ourselves can help us boil our ego such that the best in us is distilled out as our unique flavor and the residue can be safely discarded.

Evaporate your worries Man is perhaps the only creature in the animal kingdom that carry’s the heavy load of worry on our backs, minds and life.If we are poor we worry about our livelihood, if we are middle class we worry about being rich and these who are rich are worried about increasing their wealth and protecting what they have. Parental worries about the children future is another never ending soap opera that rewinds itself constantly. Children worry about coping with parental expectations, academic performance and exploring their own individuality.

Dilute your sorrows Death is a certainty and obviously therefore sorrow is a natural corollary of it. However we take every niggle and every trouble to be an unfortunate and sorrowful happening and with rare exceptions tend to focus mostly on our troubles. Rather than make life a permanent mourning one must make life one big celebration and cope with sorrow by using the antidote of rationalization, acceptance, pragmatism and laughter.

Filter your mistakes When in a reflective mood many of us pensively wish we could change the script of our life, erasing the mistakes and the glitches that mar our personality. How we also wish we could redo things of the past and perhaps also do some things that we didn’t do in the past. The problem starts when we use this pensive thoughts as a crutch to lean on for all our inefficiencies, mistakes, failures instead of learning from it. Filtering your mistakes involves accepting the mistake, analyzing the root problem that caused it and taking some tough, bold and firm decisions to ensure it won’t be repeated.

Get that taste of happiness. The essence of life is happiness and that is an emotion that comes naturally to us. Alas, the harsh realities of life, our own complex thinking and our beliefs and attitudes influence and shape our perception of happiness. However, having used the analogy of brewing a good cup of tea, it is for us to finally strain out the cup of tea while discarding the residue. In the process we have got rid of our false ego, our persistent worries, left behind our sorrows and got over our mistakes. What is left is the real you. Some pointers to enjoying happiness include indulging one’s self, letting down one’s hair, enjoying the adulation and feeling light in body and spirit.

Try this:

Every day attempt any one or more of the following

  • Smile with warmth at an acquaintance or stranger or colleague
  • Share a word of encouragement/ appreciation with 2 at least 2 people
  • Forgive someone who has wronged you/ hurt you / been rude/ been disrespectful to you
  • Read one joke or cartoon strip or share a joke with someone
  • Every night think of 3 things that happened in the day that you are grateful for.

Think of the following and the possible erroneous ideas you have about it.

  • Three things that you believe are your strengths. – Do you have sense of false pride / ego about it??
  • Think of one sorrow that you find hard to overcome. Do you feel sad and despondent about any other aspects of your life so far? – By merely feeling sad and/ or worrying about it are you able to achieve anything?
  • Think of 3 mistakes made by you that you wished you could go back in time and correct. Have you overcome the anxiety cause by those mistakes or do they still negatively impact your life?
  • Think of 3 occasions when you are completely stress free, happy and at peace with yourself. Do you enjoy those moments often enough and can you find/ create other such moments to make your life very fulfilling.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Apologizing is an amazing gesture

Among the most difficult choices one has to occasionally make, apologizing perhaps ranks pretty high on most people’s list. As honest, good and objective individuals we would unhesitatingly state that if we are on the wrong we will always offer an apology. The reality though is quite different.

Here are 4 reasons why we find it hard to offer a simple unconditional apology when required.

We find it hard to accept our mistake. E.g.  Despite a frantic search you are unable to locate your set of keys at home. You are in a rush as you are getting late for office. You have in your anger and frustration also accused all and sundry at home that they could have possibly had a hand in the disappearance of the keys. On reaching office you see the set of keys lying in the office drawer. You sheepishly think of apologizing to those at home but then let it pass for it would then mean accepting your mistakes; first of being responsible for the problem; for blaming those at home; for creating a scene etc.

We tend to play down the happenings and attempt to justify/ rationalize it. E.g. in an examination you have strategically placed you answer paper to let the candidate seated behind you copy from it. The invigilator who notices this tactical but unethical arrangement warns both the candidate behind you and you of stern action. You remonstrate that it is the person behind who is copying and that you are blameless.

We mistakenly believe that an apology is equivalent to admitting a fault. E.g. As children we have often squabbled with our siblings or playmates. When the situations got unruly the elders intervened and then there was a blame game that was never ending with no one wanting to apologize. The genesis is the mistaken notion that an apology immediately implies our guilt.

We pamper our ego and forget the importance of relationships. E.g.  We have under a mistaken notion launched a tirade against a subordinate who for fear of more drastic retribution meekly submits to the barraging. Later when we get the facts fully and realize our mistake find it ‘humiliating ‘ to admit our fault and worse still ‘apologize’ to a subordinate.

Here are 3 ways to smoothly embrace an apology as a mature decision.

Remember that saying sorry is the simplest form of apology. Sorry forms part of the trio of Please and Thank you which are the 3 magical words in English that smoothen life.

An apology often helps us start gain with a clean slate. While some scars may remain, the wound is by and large healed and ‘all is well that ends well’ since an apology puts an end to the hurt, resentment and anger that may have been in the air.

An apology at the appropriate time, to the right person in the right manner for the right reason, is a test of your character, a critical component of leadership and a reflection of your personality.

Here let me offer my apologies to…

You my reader for the long delayed post which was actually written 10 days ago. Unfortunately due an oversight I didn’t save the same and I lost the entire file when the computer crashed. What you are reading now is a completely new post than what was originally written.

I need to apologize to my immediate family members who had to bear the brunt of my wrath for the post that was lost to the computer crash. The fault was entirely mine, but in my human weakness I raved and ranted and unburdened myself on all those who unwittingly crossed my path in the immediate aftermath of my disaster.

My apologizes to a couple of well meaning friends who politely inquired about my posts but had to bear  the brunt of my ire for I  had been rather curt and brusque to them when narrating what happened. I think I was also selfish enough to expect more sympathy from them and perhaps that aggravated my irrational behavior at their well intentioned and polite inquires.

Try this:

  1. Name 3 people who deserve an apology from you. Pick up courage to apologize to them even if a lot of time has elapsed since the original event happened.
  2. Can you identify with some of these situations when you felt apologetic about your own response to the situation
  • You did not make enough efforts to cast your vote
  • You told a deliberate lie for fear of the consequences
  • You harbored ill will against someone who wronged you
  • You shielded someone from being justly punished/ reprimanded simply because you shared a close relationship or friendship with him/ her

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com