Category: OK

I am ME

25-14 JuI 17-I am me1At times we try to analyze ourselves and realize that while we have much to cheer about, we also have much more to rue.  We do not like our limitations, our burdens and resent our shortcomings that are accentuated when compared to others. Rarely do we enjoy our own company or luxuriate in the knowledge that each individual is a very unique person; so very different from his/ her own peers, friends and even siblings.

It is MY individuality that I need to appreciate, embrace and celebrate.

Appreciate my individuality It is reflected in diverse aspects of my personality

My physical dimension

My mental make up

My emotional

My value system

Embrace my individualityIt is acceptance of who I am

Learn to love my whole being

Learn to make peace with my short comings

Learn to utilize my life

Learn to value my dignity and self respect

Celebrate my individuality The art of cheering for myself

I will stand up for my rights

I am ready to defend my point of view

If different I shall be different; no apologies for who I am.

I will smile often, laugh heartily, live it up passionately.

Try these

Today I will write down the following:

5 things that I am proud of

5 aspects of my life that I will try and improve

5 people who I am most blessed to have in my life

5 embarrassing moments of my life

5 dreams that I have yet to achieve

2 most glorious moments of my life

2 most painful moments of my life

My favorite color/ animal / book/ movie

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It is OK to be not OK !

I’m not OK, you’re not OK – and that’s OK. William Sloane Coffin

The quote is an antithesis of the well-known book titled I am Ok You Are OK by Dr. Thomas A Harris. While Dr. Harris’s book is a practical guide to the concept of Transactional Analysis, and its applicability in real life; William Sloane possibly further simplified the whole concept in stating that in real life, a not ok condition is a perfectly acceptable reality.

When examined in its bare form, the statement I am not ok refers to the condition where the protagonist opines and feels that he/ she is not aligned with the world around. This could mean that the person has by and large an outpouring of negative emotion, is not happy, is disturbed, , has strong views, cannot appreciate another point of view and in short marches to a different drummer. From a psychologist’s point of view there could be numerous reasons for it, but what is relevant in the context of the quote above is the fact that there is a distinct feeling of ‘non alignment’ or ‘incongruence’ with the ways of the world or the norms of the world.

Similarly the You are not OK refers to the view point of the outside world by the protagonist, where he /s he visualizes the norms of others not aligned to his/ her own way of seeing things. It could also be a view that others don’t seem to understand my point of view and so they are not in sync with my thought process, my values and my appreciation of life. It is possible that often the outside world cannot understand what drives people to do things that by the norms of the world are rash, stupid or irrational e.g. when a person chucks up a fabulous career to relocate to pursue what is the persons passion like wildlife conservation or rural education.

The message in the statement is simply this ‘ I can coexist with the world with whom I don’t see eye to eye and so too can they live with me, without agreeing with me and there is nothing unusual about it for the world is full of paradoxes.’

Remember: Man is a normal neurotic.

Try These:

  1. If you had a passion in childhood and proclaimed that you were going to pursue it, can you recollect the reactions to it? How many of them encouraged you? How of them dissuaded you? How many of them passionately believed you could achieve your dreams?
  2. Choose two – three people whom you know well but cannot seem to tolerate them. It could be their behavior, their view point or simply their presence that upsets you. Objectively examine the reasons for your dislike of that person. Can you try to rationalize why they behave the way they are? Do you now think you can tolerate them a little more?

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