Category: Patience

Adopt the pace of nature

20-8-06 Apr20- Adopt the pace of nature

With everyone cooped at home feeling frustrated, fearful and frantic for some respite, it is perhaps apt that we take a lesson from nature; adopting the pace of nature, her secret is patience.

In the first place, one must realize that if we had adopted natures pace and not usurped our natural resources indiscriminately, our progress would have been slow and steady. Since we chose to be belligerent with our intellect, unsatiated by our greed and disrespectful of nature’s bounty, we have been dealt a knockout punch by nature itself. Ironically nature itself has hastened her pace to spread the illness, perhaps as a timely reminder to us mortals that nature has its own way of balancing out and steam rolling mans ego, pride and cocking a snook at so called technological advancement.

Now that we have been held in a vice like grip by nature’s fury and locked in, it is the ideal time to humbly go back to nature and gain the most valuable lesson that secret of life lies in patiently living life.

So now learn to value your time; yes those 24 hours now seem like 48 hours each day. However you can make it feel like a mere 12 hours if you can have control over your time and by being self disciplined.

Be patient with your surroundings; however big a house you have you have to confine yourself within that space; suffocating is it? Did you even pause and think if we were being cruel to cage wild animals? In nature the big trees, the creepers, the shrubs all have adapted to living side by side. In many cases they have adapted to benefit from those around even though it seems like a contradiction of sorts. It is a similar sort of situation for us. Perhaps we feel claustrophobic; maybe we feel overwhelmed by the challenges of keeping our surroundings clean. Be patient and  adapt; have a system in place; be disciplined and you will have control over the environment around you.

Value the presence of those around you. Perhaps, for many, this is the first time you are spending so much of time in close proximity with no alternative but to be with them. Without them your life would have been even more morose, terribly boring, certainly silent and definitely suffocating. If you have a tough time adjusting to them remember they are doing their best to adjust with you. Perhaps you have learned many varied facets of the individuals around you; things you took for granted or qualities you never knew they had. Most of all you may realize that love is the one emotion that given out in large measure comes back in double that measure.

Learn patiently to endure and adapt. Evolution was nature’s way of patiently adapting to the changing environment. Now that you have all the time in the world to do all what you want to do are really utilizing your time well?  You may argue that you are unable to move out and do things. If you were incapacitated physically the situation would have been the same; so now learn to adapt and find new ways of being engaged fruitfully and remaining happy. Many of us are fortunate to have the technology, the resources and the knowledge be engaged in a whole lot of activities that the less fortunate are not privy too. We also have the financial resources to cope with the challenges of being unemployed, not having the income streams and not having to beg for our daily food. Can we then stop being impatient with the temporary hardships and lack of fun activities and learn to appreciate the good fortune we are blessed with?

Try these:           

  • Can you share some innovate tips about how you improved the environment around you when in the lock down?
  • Make a list of appreciative qualities that you began to value in those around you.
  • How did you imaginatively use the time that the lock down forcibly thrust upon you? Did you make any personal discoveries about your own self?
  • What was the most frustrating part of the lock down for you? How did you cope with it?

You can email your responses to actspot@gmail.com .

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

People are not difficult… they are different

People are not difficult… they are different

One big challenge in life is cultivating and maintaining relationships. On the face of it looks like an easy task but in reality it is challenging, largely because of our approach to others. There is not dispute about the fact that as social animals we cannot live in isolation. It therefore stands to reason that we will have to deal with people of all shapes, sizes and shades. The problem is that there could be any number of people who we dislike, find it hard to get along with, abhor some and embrace some with no qualms what so ever. A simple test is to see how your relationships with your school mates, office buddies and family members are.

We tend to see people as either friend or foe; difficult or amiable; ally or competitor; powerful or submissive; daring or cowardly etc. The result is that we tend to slot people into categories and pick and choose those who fall within those categories that best match our expectations. All those who do not meet our expectations are largely tuned out, separated from our relationship matrix and labeled mentally by us as difficult people best left alone. Unfortunately, in life we often do not have the luxury of alienating those who we find difficult to deal with because often they are influential, useful, unavoidable, powerful and important for us. Take the case of a neighbor who you do not like. The reality is you cannot change the neighbor nor can you easily change your neighborhood. So what is ones best option to deal with a person who you find difficult to relate to; connect with or maintain ties with?

Accept the fact that each individual, even a sibling or a twin is an independent person with her/ his unique thoughts, mannerisms, behavior, likes, dislikes, dress sense, style and values. Once one realizes this, the urge to see people as needing to confirm to your individualistic style will be greatly reduced. More importantly, you will see the other person as a unique person who has the same rights and freedom as you have. Now, you will be in a better position to appreciate their oddities, peculiarities, their behavior and traits that otherwise you will see as an aberration and despise. You can now begin to value the individuality of the other and even if you do not approve of it or in the very extreme loath it, you will still allow them the liberty to be themselves. Except in very extreme cases where an individual crosses all boundaries of societal norms, conventions and prudence, one can still keep up a passing relationship more to remind you of your own individuality and upbringing.

APT is an excellent acronym that will help retain relations.

Attention for another person

Patience to appreciate the other person

Thoughtfulness in responding to another person

Try these:           

What types of people irritate/ annoy you? Can you mentally recall the names of such people? Can you honestly jot down at least two good qualities in them?

Can you make an effort to reach out to someone you do not normally like to get in touch with but as a measure of testing your own learning from this post reach out and spend time with that person.

What is the one quality or behavior or action in you, that will indicate to another that you would like to avoid the other person or minimize your interactions with that person? Can you make an attempt to modify that behavior/ style /quality so that you can have a better engagement with others.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Take action and benefit

Take action and benefit

Here is a practical activity that we can attempt and be sure that each of us will gain from the experience and more importantly enjoy the direct fruits of our action. This post will focus on the action, your job is to take the action and the fruits of the action will be what you will get to relish.

Be generous – Being generous with your wealth is just a minuscule part of what you can be generous with. Your true generosity is in the time you give generously to people around especially those who crave your attention. You can be generous with your patience, your ability to listen, your ability to delay judgment etc. Be lavish with your praise, your appreciation and your ability to find something good in others.

Be cooperative – As social beings we need to learn to take the good with the bad, learn to live with the ironies that life puts before us occasionally and act with maturity when we have to make tough choices. Cooperation is not just about being agreeable but it also includes being able to disagree without be disagreeable. Cooperation is being in a minority but whole heartedly going with the majority decision.

Be enthusiastic –The major trigger for being enthusiastic is by having a good enough motivation to do what we have to do. In the absence of a good motivation, seek out something good about what you have to go through. It is cultivating the right spirit, displaying the right attitude and having the winners spirit spurring you on every moment. Let no failure dampen your enthusiasm, let no criticism demotivate you;  do what needs to be done with élan and panache.

Be serving – Services is not merely being useful to others or offering your help to others. Service should be a natural part of your upbringing. It encompasses varied aspects of your life right from displaying good manners, being considerate to others and being ready to shoulder responsibility whenever the need arises. Helping those who can never repay you back, voluntarily assisting those who you can, just doing what needs to be done no matter how insignificant a job it is are shades of service that we must be conscious of.

Try these:           

  • What were the most joyous memories that you carry? Do you think someone was generous and so you still have that sweet memory? Do you think the other person would also carry similar fond memories of those times?
  • Think of the time you disagreed but were overruled and then you had to participate in what was finally agreed upon? Did you give your hundred percent to the task? How did you feel at the end of the task? Remember the poem ‘ The charge of the light brigade’ ? https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45319/the-charge-of-the-light-brigade
  • Choose three boring tasks that are part of your job. How do you keep motivated to do it well? What are the boring jobs that you have to do in your regular personal life?
  • When was the last time your volunteered? Can you think of volunteering in a place you have never ever visited before?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

4 free gifts

4 free gifts

We have four free gifts that we are blissfully unaware of, barely pay attention to and invariably miss out on using them, to enrich our life. Let us appreciate these four free gifts so that we can make full use of these free and powerful boons.

The richest wealth is Wisdom – Knowledge is not wisdom. Prudent use of knowledge is wisdom. Prudent use of knowledge is optimum when we act intelligently, leverage our creativity, focus on results, have a holistic understanding of our mission and above all utilize the knowledge for constructive purposes. Wisdom comes not just from books and experiences but from observation, reasoning, listening and experimentation. Keep all your senses open to receive inputs from all sources and before long you would be imbibing the best learning that you can convert into wisdom.

The strongest weapon is Patience – Waiting is not patience.  Patience is waiting with a good attitude. The practice for this comes in varying shades. From waiting for 9 months from conception to have a new born or sowing the seeds and waiting for the crops to grow for harvesting. In city life, the lessons of patience can be learned from waiting in long lines, waiting for a doctor’s appointment or getting stuck in a traffic jam.  They are all irritable moments of life but unavoidable. Patience starts when you embrace the waiting with rationale, a positive attitude and maintain equanimity.

The best security is Faith – Faith is not mere optimism but the conviction that things will happen the way you want it. Faith is trust in one’s beliefs. Faith ensures that doubts have no place in jeopardizing set plans. Even if the plans go awry, faith ensures that one focuses attentively, persists diligently and believes incessantly. Faith provides the impetus to dream big, dare outlandishly and succeed spectacularly.

The greatest tonic is Laughter– Laughter they say is the elixir of life. If you can learn to laugh no matter what the situation, it is a clear indicator that you have the wisdom, the patience and the faith to tackle any obstacle that keeps you away from your dreams Laughter is most common denominator that connects people without any bias or distinction. Most importantly, laughter is a matter of perspective; see it in the right light and the resultant joy is infectious. . Laughter uplifts the spirit, lightens the mood, rejuvenates the soul and energizes the physical self.

Now that we are conscious of these gifts bestowed on each of us, our mission must be to utilize them, to lead a more fulfilling life.

Try these:         

  • Over the course of the next week look up as many cartoons as you can in newspapers, comic strips, cartoon blogs etc. Notice how it impacts your mood and your productivity in a positive way.
  • Set yourself a target to achieve by a certain time frame. The target must be challenging enough to give you a sense of real achievement. It could be fund raising, accomplishing a long cherished dream, doing something that you are really scared off, finishing a long pending but boring important task etc.
  • List out three things or persons or situations where you tend to lose your patience and react negatively. Challenge yourself not to succumb to such a reaction when faced with the person or situation.
  • Every evening jot down one new learning from the events of your day.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Reminders to succeed

Reminders to succeed

Waking up each morning is easy; your biological clock does it for you albeit at a time when you really don’t want to wake up. The real challenge is to make the day worthwhile. Perhaps focusing on the following daily reminders would help enhance self belief, stimulate daring and prod  one to act decisively to achieve a set goal.

I am amazing – The greatest blessing an individual has is that s/he is blessed with a mind that can imagine the best. Unfortunately, there is a tendency to focus on the worst possibilities, perhaps as a way to minimize expectations and then feel happy with the mediocre successes that come our way. On the other hand once you start looking at the amazing gifts you are blessed with you gain in confidence, you seek out new ways of leveraging your potential, you do not get perturbed by negative feedback and you go that extra mile to achieve your dream. Once you see yourself as an amazing person, you will never let yourself fail to attempt the challenging but enticing possibilities that exist all around you.

I can do anything – Doubt kills more dreams than actual failure. This is a telling statement because very often we do not attempt simply because we doubt our capabilities. Once you believe that you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to, you will begin the task. Keep in mind that you need to be passionate enough to be able to achieve the near impossible because you can do anything only when you are truly obsessed by what you want. Can do anything does not mean you attempt what you are not prepared to put in more than a 100%. It also does not mean that you can get away by having rash, ostentatious and outlandish goals that have no correlation to your abilities, your will power and your determination. Of course you can attempt the impossible; just ensure it is not the miraculous you are aiming for.

Positivity is a choice – Each day will be unique. There will be good days and bad days, great moments and disappointments. However, each of us has a choice to treat the moment with respect. The great moments must be cherished, the disappointments viewed as opportunities to learn from and grow. Out attitude towards every event that punctuates our moments is what determines the choice of a positive response that we have consciously and proactively taken. Positive thinking and response is a choice we have and it is best we train ourselves to take that choice no matter how disappointing, despondent or miserable we feel. Turning those troubles into lessons is the best way to make positive choices.

I celebrate my individuality – Since we live in the times of competition, comparison and connection, there would be a tendency to imitate, copy and fit in with those around. While choosing to take the best from others is a wonderful way to grow, we must never forget that our individuality is what makes us unique. To maintain your unique identity and to leave your mark on this world focus on your strengths and leverage it while at the same time you try to minimize your weakness. At times showcasing your individuality may look out of place, it could evoke criticism, it could make you stand out like a sore thumb but at the end of the day, that is what makes you outstanding.

I am prepared to succeed –Success is never an accident. It is the outcome of focused, persistent, determined effort. Once can prepare to succeed by having the self belief in what one is doing, getting ahead through a planned, organized and phased action plan and having the right attitude to stick to your beliefs no matter what the obstacles. All these obviously means that you must be prepared to pay a price in terms of sacrificing time, money and sweat to toil in faith and hope.

If  you are ready to lead the way start now! No excuses; no fears; just hit the road running.

Try these:          

List out three of your most off beat ideas/ thoughts / passions. Ask yourself why you have not yet made that a mission in life?

What is the one unique trait that you are often appreciated / praised/ noticed / noted for? How have you leveraged it to succeed in life?

What are your three often used excuses? Can you replace those words with a positive phrase that can rejuvenate you to focus on your goals.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

 

Two types of pain

33- 10 Sept 17- Two types of painEach of us must have experienced both forms of pain at various points in our life. The pain that hurts us can be physical pain or psychological pain. Physical pain, unless it is a permanent pain, is often forgotten once we are physically healed. The psychological pain on the other hand tends to remain with us for a much longer time, perhaps in some cases even lifelong. The trauma of pain that hurts is now better managed by medication, counseling and therapy, yet the experience often leaves an individual  scarred, bitter at times and definitely wary of going through the agony once again.

The same pain that we experience be it physical or psychological, can be channelized by every individual by using the right attitude and thinking to become a life changing experience. Not just life changing for the individual but also life changing for the people around, the circle of influence we can reach out to. The very essence of pain management is an excellent example of it. It is the result of years of experimentation and research done by individuals who dealt with people in pain and decided to reach out to alleviate the pain of such people. However, although most of us as individuals may not have the technical expertise to do the same, each of us can develop the right attitude and thinking to change our approach to managing our pain as well as the pain of those around us.

Accept what cannot be changed This is the toughest part of managing pain. Embracing the inevitable, making peace with the reality and looking at pain from the prism of positivity would enable an individual to accept the unchangeable faster and more whole heartedly. Death of a loved one, the loss of a limb or a physical transformation due to an accident or having an incurable disease like MND would require the individual to accept the reality that life is altered forever. Once an individual makes peace with this reality, reorienting the thinking is a relatively easier process.

Channelize your pain to transform your life – Be it your pain or you being a part of another’s pain would always impact your life. If a close friend or family member is in any type of pain, it impacts you also. You need to channelize the pain into seeing it as a way to learn some lessons be it reorienting your thinking or being made aware of people who you took for granted as being more dependable or finding your hidden reservoir of strength to mange yourself.

Empathize with those in pain – Be there for people who are in pain. Comfort them by your understanding, presence and patience. Divert their minds to pleasant thoughts, beautiful memories of the past and give them hope. Let them know that you share their suffering and that you would like to share their burden. Understanding the trauma of those in the throes of psychological pain is very tough because we tend to use logic or rationalize it. However, emotions run a lot deeper and they remain simmering within the individual. It is essential that those around try and draw the person out of his/ her trauma, reassure them of getting their life back on track and show them hope in the future. This can dull the pain, the fear and inject in them a strong desire to make a stronger comeback.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional – This is the mantra that each one should adopt and share. Each of us will experience a variety of pain in varying degrees. We need to quickly get to grips with it and try to mitigate it by dwelling less on the suffering and instead focusing on how it is changing you to become stronger, more resilient and helping you discover your inner strength.

Try these

  1. List out 5 activities that give you maximum pain. The challenge is to confront each of them and to jot down the learning from it each time you confronted it.
  2. Attempt one or more of the following:
  • Visit an elderly / lonely neighbor once a week
  • Go to the local hospital and ask the social worker how you can help out
  • You can also visit a hospice or old age home or a home for the challenged
  • Visit a nearby park and notice people who seem alone/ lonely. See if you can strike a conversation with them and bring a smile to their face.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

One change at a time

8-one-change-at-a-time

With exams around the corner, it is inevitable that students and often their parents feel the pressure of managing the study time tables so as to perform well. That is also the time when time pressure, the accumulated backlog of studies and the need to overhaul one’s life suddenly begins to overwhelm all the stake holders in this game. A similar situations crop up in our life off and on and the need to overhaul our life is the one common constant irrespective of which phase of life we are in. In trying to overhaul one’s life, the cardinal mistake we make is, thinking that we can overturn all the bad habits we have imbibed over the years, overnight. Just as you and I took nine months to be born, just like a year takes twelve months to change and a day requires 24 hours to be completed before a new day begins, we have to patiently work on small changes in our attitude, style and behavior before the effects of transformation are visible.

The four essentials for transformation are:

Deciding to change – This is the first step in bring about any meaningful change in one’s life. Until one decides to change, the status quo would always seem impossible to change. Excuses, rationalization and reconciliation with the existing situation would constantly nag you into succumbing to the status quo. Decide that you need to change your habits, your style, adopt a different strategy E.g. You know you have to spend more hours studying. You will find enough reasons why you are unable to do so and rationalize your decision for not being able to change and finally reconcile that you are a mediocre student. The same holds true for those wanting to lose weight but not being able to get themselves to eat healthy or exercise.

Planning the change – Once you decide to change, the key is to spend some time planning how you are going to bring about the change and be the change you want. Many of us fail in this step simply because we visualize that implementation of the plan is impossible. If you can outline the map to achieving what your goal is, you would at least have a clear agenda to follow. E.g. Having a clear time table to study is the first step in ensuring you are able to do justice to each subject that you have to study. Those subjects requiring practice or additional study, however much you dislike the subject, must be allotted more time.

Implementing the change – This is the toughest part of the process of transformation. At this stage you are attempting to move away from all that you felt comfortable doing despite knowing the consequences, to disciplining yourself doing unpleasant things, in the hope that it will give you good results. The tough part is beginning, the tougher part is motivating yourself to continue but the toughest part is keeping the momentum going. The trick is to visualize the small changes, mentally see yourself inching yourself forward towards your goals and occasionally noting how much you have progressed and how closer you are to your final goal.

Being patient – This is the most important virtue because without it, one would be tempted to give up. Patience comes from self belief, from charting out progress and being reasonable about your expectations at every given time line. Occasionally you could be slipping as per your plans, at other times you feel your pace is slow and many times there seems to be no motivation to pursue your plans. Remember the number of times you fell of your bicycle before you managed to master it or the number of times you felt you were drowning before you learned to swim. The lure of the eventual goal must be so encompassing that you become patient enough to trudge along despite all the obstacles that come your way.

Try these:

  • Try to play a new sport or pick up a new hobby. Notice how you take time to gain expertise, despite your possible talent in that field.
  • List out 3 changes that you want to bring about in your life. Outline what is stopping you from doing it. Plan and implement the plan to bring about the change.
  • Challenge yourself to overcome a constant criticism that you often encounter either from your spouse / child/ friend / colleague / well wisher.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The good, better, best way…

19-  Be Good Better BestAre you one of those people who is frustrated that things are not going your way?  Are you getting impatient and desperate? Are you on the verge of giving up your dreams because life seems to be going nowhere? The good news is you are not alone. There are plenty of people, including highly successful people, who on the outside are an epitome of perfection but on the inside are bitter, broken and busted. However though misery loves company, that is no consolation. The reality is that you want to change your life around and do it soon. So here is how to go about visualizing, living and enjoying your future.

Believe – To begin with there must be something clearly outlined in your mind that you believe you passionately want. This is the key to solving the majority of our problems regarding our future. Most of us have a very sketchy idea of what we want to do, achieve and appropriate to feel satisfied and happy. The problem is we use sweet and nice sounding words, most of which are intangible and difficulty to identify when describing what we want from life and our future. Using words like wanting to be happy, successful, appreciated, recognized, rich etc. are adjectives that merely describe but do not clearly point out the destination. On the other hand outline what you want to achieve and then you have a tangible goal, you can outline the way to achieve it, you can put milestones to measure your progress and most importantly you can start believing in a tangible future. Your actions will then always be aligned to moving forward towards the direction of your belief which is the tangible goal you have set for yourself. Every little progress made in that direction will motivate, inspire and reinforce your confidence. You will also see and be able to measure the progress and if you falter or stagnate you will find alternatives to re-chart your course without giving up on your goal. Even changing your goal is a way forward since you have accepted the reality and are willing to change. Good things happen when you believe and work towards your goal for you will always make progress, perhaps slowly but surely.

Be patient: Patience is a virtue that one must develop for we often tend to give up quickly in frustration. Yet patience must not be mistaken as an everlasting wait; nor must an individual mistake patience to mean doing nothing and hoping things fall in place. Patience is like the farmer tilling the land, sowing the seeds, watering it and then believing he will have a good crop if the conditions are right. As he waits the farmer inspects his crop adds fertilizers, sprays insecticides, continues to water it if required or works on draining the excess water  and also plans out the steps to take care of the bumper harvest he expects. While he/ she patiently waits for the effort to bear fruit they also work towards ensuring a conducive environment to ensure the harvest is good and the fruits of the harvest are efficiently and effectively utilized. Better things will definitely happen when one is patient and works towards facilitating the attainment of the goal.

Don’t give up: This is tough because there will be numerous occasions when we realize that progress is almost at a standstill, doubts creep up and we start questioning our judgment, when critics begin to needle us with their own gloomy predictions and when we are tethering on the brink of confusion. No doubt we have to be pragmatic but that must be tempered with rational thinking, sound logic and an inbuilt self confidence. Many times we give up because we are not clear headed and we tend to exaggerate our doubts and fears; other times we give up because we cannot see ways to overcome obstacles; occasionally we give up because we succumb to criticism and barbs from others whose opinion we respect but possible they do not have the same vision as us. Find motivation to persist, seek out companions who encourage, view criticism dispassionately, learn from mistakes, keep the goal in mind and the progress attained; most of all believe, be patient and then keep persisting.  Learn from couples who want a child but are unable to conceive one of their own; they don’t give up but adopt. They believe they can be a complete family, they believe in their ability to make it a loving family and they don’t give up because they cannot have their own child but adopt one to make their belief come true. The best things surely come to those who do not give up.

Try these:

  • Revisit your childhood dreams/ fantasies. List out 3-5 dreams that you haven’t realized yet but are keen to make it happen. Map out a plan to attain that within a reasonable time span.
  • Outline a plan to attain any two or more of the following
  1. To increase your income by 10 %
  2. To increase your savings by 10%
  3. To be engaged in a social service activity
  4. To improve your own health/ quality of your life
  5. To make family time more meaningful and fulfilling
  6. To learn a new skill or trade or expand on your hobby or change your life style.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Leave a little sparkle

15- Leave a little sparkle

Most of us go through life feeling that we are just one in a crowd and that no one ever notices us nor values us. Yes it is true that parents would always have a special place for their kids but even that is often liberally sprinkled with do’s and don’ts and an incompleteness that suggests we need to still exceed their expectations.  As a result, we are often trying to match up to expectations, trying to prove a point to others and do not really offer to the world around liberally of our talents, our abilities and our real self. The reality is that our individuality has much to offer that is unique and that is valued by others. It is the little things that we do, that is more significant than the convoluted efforts we make to impress others and gain approval. By being ourselves we are more natural, caring, feeling and expressive.  There is always a lot of sparkle that we leave behind when we are natural not artificial, genuine not put on and when we can freely offer of our self without expectations from others.

Our natural self is often influenced by our upbringing, our family values and the inputs in our formative years in school and social settings. Our own attitudes, beliefs and thinking too have a major bearing on how our personality shapes up. There is a lot of positivity, goodness, care and concern that we are born with but these can be reinforced or negated by influences as we grow up. There is so much that we offer the world around that is valued, appreciated and eagerly sought for without us being conscious about it. So what is it that we can offer spontaneously, amply and freely that will always sparkle up our environment and the people around us?

A smile is obviously the most obvious and easiest sparkle that we can share with others. With a smile we acknowledge another person in a warm way. It is a sure way to state we notice the other person and a way to silently inform that we appreciate their presence. Very often it is also the beginning of a communication and possibly a friendship and a connect. A warm genuine smile brightens up the environment, lightens the mood and livens up the spirit.

Appreciation is something that every individual seeks. It is also something that can be easily given for there is a lot to appreciate in others. We tend to be stingy with our appreciation mainly because we are not aware how effective it is in creating a bond and building up relationships. Appreciation must not be confused with flattery. Appreciation is a genuine expression of a good sentiment towards an other. It can be simply an appreciation of the good work done by someone or your acknowledgment of something good in the other person. The best appreciation is when we respond positively to the individual concerned but we can also be appreciative of the person in a forum or setting where the person is not present.

Empathy is our ability to understand and feel a person’s pain and if possible to act decisively to mitigate it by our actions. Empathy goes a step beyond sympathy in that we don’t merely understand the others pain but we also attempt to walk with the person in discomfort and try to alleviate the pain to the extent possible. We are active participants in the process of healing for the others. This is difficult to spontaneously do because we often tend to hold back our feelings and expect others to ask us for our support.

Encouragement is a simple yet powerful technique that enables one to motivate and support others thereby leaving our little sparkle in their lives. Lots of people constantly need support in their emotional life as well as in coping with the stress of failures. Often they blame themselves for their inability to cope with the challenges they face. As a friend or well wisher or even as a bystander we can perhaps try and take a detached view and offer encouragement to the individual concerned and motivate him/ her to have fresh perspective and try again. With our encouragement we rekindle hope in them and they begin to pursue with greater vigour.

Support comes in many forms. Encouragement is also a form of support. However it is the support that we lend in practical terms like financial support at crucial times, being with them physically when they are in trouble, like when are involved in a calamity, that is really cherished.  One could also support by putting in a word to influencers who can help their cause or just being with them when they are at their lowest depth psychologically and emotionally. Even if we cannot support them directly we must be able to at least guide them to find support or suggest to them alternatives to explore. Even the tiniest of support offered is the little sparkle that you offer them.

Keeping in touch has become easy nowadays because of technology. Yet, it is the personal touch that one craves for. Wishing people or expressing sympathy or forwarding messages through the electronic means has become so easy that it is done with little or no personalization or feeling. The real touch is in our ability to talk, meet, getting together and in giving surprises to those around. This does take both time and effort, but it is the time and effort we invest in keeping in touch that sets us apart from the others. The sparkle that we leave behind is the memories of those wonderful moments when personal touch actually touched the heart. The sparkle of those memories would always be cherished and would always remain priceless.

Try these:

In addition to the above explore how you can leave a sparkle through the following

  • Your manners
  • Your etiquettes
  • Your initiative
  • Your impartiality and fairness
  • Your tone/ language/ conduct
  • Your talents / abilities
  • Your wit/ humor/ presence of mind

 List out the following

  • Names of 2 individuals (other than immediate family) who have deeply influenced you.
  • Recollect 2 wonderful moments from your life where someone played an important part in making it memorable.
  • Can you remember at least 2 incidences where your involvement in some way made a person thrilled and ever grateful for your presence.
  • Are there memories of times when you did not get the appreciation /support or encouragement that you sought from someone? Do you still feel bad about it?
  • Do you remember an embarrassing moment/s when you backed out from offering support / encouragement to someone who placed his/ her faith in you?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

You can get what you want

7- Get what you want

Many of us are disheartened and disappointed in life because we believe that others are more blessed than us. We also view this as being unfair to us because in our view we are equally eligible for the largesse of life. The real issue however is the fact that we cannot pinpoint what we want. Most times what we want is what we suddenly envy in others who posses it. It is therefore essential that we clearly visualize, identify and decide what exactly we want for ourselves. This brings clarity to us, enables us to evaluate how we can attain it and most important ask and seek it. Yes getting what you want all begins with asking for what you want and this in turn means you begin by knowing what one want.

Ask – When we want something we need to ask for it if we are unable to get it on our own. The prerequisite for this step is to ensure we know what we want. It could be a material thing, it could be job or reference that you seek or it could even be exploring a relationship. Unless you ask others would either not be able to understand your want or they may not even notice your want or they would be so unsure about your requirements that they would prefer to be cautious and not even offer you anything. We do not ask for what we want because our ego won’t permit us to ask, we fear rejection of our request, we are embarrassed to ask or we are wary of the obligation that may come from those acceding to our request. Asking also has another dimension. Once we know what we want, it motivates us to ask ourselves for the required effort, commitment and perseverance to obtain what we seek.

Believe – If we ask we must believe that we are going to get what we sought. This is because we ask only when we are sure we know what we want and we are confident that by asking we can get it. Another reason to believe is the reality that we are then prepared to make best use of whatever we receive. A third reason to believe is the fact that if we are sure we will receive it we would be both cautious and reasonable in what we ask. At the same time don’t forget, that barring miracles and some lucky times, it would be silly to believe you would get anything that you don’t deserve. E.g. You don’t study and you pray for good marks or you have been rude and insolent to your parents and you ask them for something special and expensive for your birthday.

Receive If you ask with confidence and believe with full faith you must be ready to receive with arms open wide. You will receive in packages that defy logic, in a form that could surprise you and at times you least expect. Once you are prepared to receive all that you ask for and believe in keep looking for the arrival of the gift. Perhaps you are desperate for a job and you meet an influential person. That could be the beginning of you getting a job offer. At times when you are sure you deserve to get something and at the last moment it eludes you disappointment and frustration is logical. If you pause and reflect it maybe a hint of you having to expect more, work harder and receive a bigger reward. At times therefore, not receiving despite your conviction that you merit it, could suggest that you are to ask, believe and be prepared to receive something even more valuable and deserving.

Try this:

  1.  Can you recollect opportunities / prizes / awards that eluded you? On hindsight can you reflect on how that miss actually benefited you?
  2.  Attempt to do the following
  • Toss a coin 15 times and try to guess which way the coin will land face up.
  • Go to a basketball court and take 15 shots to score a 3 pointer basket.
  • Every morning list out at least 3 things that you will achieve before you retire to bed at night.
  • In the coming week listen carefully to people asking for something ( may be something tangible or seeking help ). Surprise at least one person by offering tangible help. Attempt to do this every week preferably for a stranger.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com