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Archive for the ‘present’ Category

5 - Positive evolutionEvery event, be it of the past, the current or the imagined future, influences our thinking, attitude, behavior and responses. Those events from the past that have scarred us, those that we do not like in the present and those that we fear in the future keep impacting us negatively. These tend to largely overshadow the blessings of the past, the wonders of the present and the opportunities of the future. It is therefore essential that we learn to reorient our thinking, start seeing the past present and future through a filter of positivity if we are to make our life more fun, more meaningful and more productive.

Be grateful for the past – If one were to dispassionately evaluate the past, for most of us it would become obvious that barring a few stray awkward, embarrassing, challenging and painful incidents life had been fun filled, happy and enjoyable. Yet we tend to largely focus on what has not gone right overlooking the more significant, satisfactory and fulfilling parts of our journey thus far. Of course the failures, the hurt and the pain of the past cannot be brushed aside but focus on the lessons learned from it. Focus on the transformation that took place because of it and made you a better person. If you still carry the baggage of the hurt of the past, it is a good time to offload it today. Relook the past with an eye to refresh, recollect and reflect on the blessings of the past; the wonderful childhood you have had, the loving care of the family around, the friends and relationships you have built up over the years, the success your were cheered for, the memories that you can forever cherish. If one uses that as the fulcrum of the past life, the present would also be seen in the same perspective provided one makes that effort.

Be engaged in the present – One common aberration in our daily living is the habit of lapsing into the ‘Good old days’ syndrome. The opposite extreme is to find fault with everything that does not happen the way we want it or the way we expect it to be. The present is where we are living and if we can see it as a wonderful place and time to be in, one can experience the joys that abound everywhere and all around us. Mechanization for instance has made our life a lot easier but do we value it? Communication technology has ensured we can be in touch instantaneously and with numerous people; yet do you feel lonely? Transportation revolution has made movement faster, cheaper and more pleasurable but do we keep cribbing about the costs, the lines at the airports, the railways stations and the bus stops? Disposables have become the order of the day saving time and effort yet we see the mountain of trash to which we also contribute conveniently overlooking our own part in it. The present has to be embraced with pragmatism. You may not be able to change what is happening around but one can surely appreciate the good, influence the ills by being sensitive and caring ( use less disposables / be more orderly in queues / cut down on indiscriminate usage of mobiles and internet etc.) but most importantly be involved in the moment. Don’t let the present fly past without it having improved you as an individual.

Be enchanted by the future – The future is a haze and that is precisely why we are wary of it. Strictly speaking if we can appreciate the wonders of our past, see the positive side of the present we must able to look forward to exciting times in the future. However, the future holds an undeniable reality; death. This unfortunately is a scary thought for the overwhelming majority and while we may never consciously reflect on it, subconsciously we are always hoping to prolong life be it our own or those of our loved ones. What adds confusion and apprehension when thinking of the future is the fear that the future may not be as serene as the past and the present. We worry about paying bills, hospitalization, relationships, old age, loss of income, loneliness and ofcourse death. These are all realities but a fair bit of timely planning and mental preparation to cope with these realities would ease our concerns and surely help one prepare to embrace the future. The first step to such preparation is not mentally running away from our fears. How many of those reading this post have prepared a will? How many of us have got our retirement plans chalked out? How many have saved for a rainy day? These can be done only if one is prepared to be realistic and give the future a more concrete shape rather than blindly walking into a hazy sunset. The sunset is surely the beginning of the night but when on an outing don’t we eagerly wait to see the glorious sunset and ensure we are the right place at the right time to enjoy it. See the future as a wonderful sunset and do what needs to be done to enjoy it!

Try this:

  1. Jot down 3 to 5 most wonderful memories from the past. Visualize the situation and the persons involved and revel in the blessings they were for you.
  2. What are the 3 significant contributions that you can make to ensure that the world around you is a better place? So have you started on it ?
  3. Make a list of the following
  • How much money do you think will suffice to ensure you have a comfortable retired life assuming you live till 90
  • What are the 3 things you will do to ensure that you are productively and happily engaged after retirement?
  • What are the 5 most important things you will want to incorporate in your will?
  • Make a list of surprise gifts that you will send this year to at least 3 of the above listed friends.
  • List 10 friends who you can count on to give you support and courage should you be in any trouble in the future.
  • Write down an epitaph for yourself that would best describe you / your life.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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27- Not ok so whatUnhappy, disillusioned, confused, hurt, resentful, angry, listless, tired, ignored, unlucky;. Do you experience these emotions / feelings off and on? Do you feel like the only person facing these problems? The reality is that almost every one experiences these intermittently. However, the problem arises when we frequently experience negative emotions, find it difficult to ignore these emotions and worst of all succumb to the pressures of these emotions. Most of these emotions are temporary, largely fleeting and often a byproduct of wild negative thinking. However, it is important that we do go through the feeling of not feeling okay; of being uncomfortable, disturbed and pained. When we experience a situation that disturbs our peace of mind it is essential that we accept it as a painful reality. What is not acceptable is denying it, questioning it, constantly whining over it and making it control our life. When one can make peace with the painful reality, one can appreciate the fact that such not okay feelings actually accentuate the value of the positive emotions and feelings that we are blessed with.

The challenge is to experience being not okay and managing to get back to the okay state. It is like knowing how much one can stretch a rubber band. Stretch it beyond a point and it will snap. Like that broken rubber band, if one lets the not okay feeling to overpower one’s emotions, one becomes irrational, broken in spirit and body and then surrender to mediocrity, mere sustenance and survival. Being not okay implies that we are made aware of our imperfections and limitations. It also keeps us grounded to the reality that not all our efforts can give us the fruits we desire. It also spurs us to make adjustments, re-evaluate our original plans and make a fresh start. However, the danger is that when we are not okay, at times we get demoralized, disheartened and dispirited. There is then a possibility of us giving up and not making any effort to get back on track. History teaches us that even the most successful people have always encountered challenges and it is their self belief and determination that have made them rise up again and climb the pedestal of success.

Here are 6 guiding principles to navigate the not okay state and come back to the okay state.

  1. The past cannot be changed but the lessons it provides are to be learnt well.
  2. The future exists for us to utilize it wisely without having the hangover of the past.
  3. The present is where life happens and we better not waste it brooding over the past or ring fencing the future.
  4. Learn to appreciate and value the good in every adverse situation.
  5. Be prepared to face the unexpected no matter how well you have planned for the future.
  6. Today offers you 24 hours to utilize all the lessons learned, to attain your goals; don’t squander it away.

Try these:

  • Suppose you were mistakenly locked up in prison for a crime you didn’t commit but there is no possibility of immediate release and a long term prison term of 5 years at least what would you do ?
  • You have committed a terrible mistake which you managed to cover up well. However an innocent member of your team was blamed and he/ she was sacked unceremoniously. You have always regretted your silence in the matter. 6years later you come face to face with the unfortunate victim of your misdeed. What would you do?
  • Can you recall 3 incidences / episodes / happenings / events in your life that really disturbed you when experienced it. How did you cope with each such situation? Do those events still play on your mind?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »