Category: Relationships

Be a rainbow in someone’s cloud

Be a rainbow in someone’s cloud

Look around and you will find lots of people looking for support, encouragement, help and empathy. It need not be strangers; it could be close family members, neighbors, colleagues, acquaintances; the common thread is each of them is suffering in various degrees. While some may merely need reassurance, there could be a few others who need a hand of comfort and others just need someone to lend them their ears. On the extreme end of the spectrum, there could be others on the edge of a nervous breakdown, contemplating hurting themselves or on the verge of committing suicide. There are a lot of people around us alone, afraid, lonely and seeking acknowledgement of their existence. Each of us can play a vital role in making the world around us a more lively, engaging and happier place by just being a rainbow in the life of those around us living under the shadow of a dark cloud threatening to rain and drown them.

Like the seven colors of the rainbow VIBGYOR here are seven ways you can be a rainbow for others.

Acknowledge – Begin by wishing your family members each morning. Similarly by wishing or saying a hello to neighbors, acquaintances, friends whenever we bump into them would be the very basic courtesy one can extend to another. As social animals, every individual needs the company of others to live a meaningful life. By simply wishing and acknowledging them we are offering them our warmth which is always reciprocated and warms us too. Incidentally, using basic etiquette’s like saying please, sorry, thank you, excuse me etc. also largely do the same thing; respecting their individuality while also being courteous.

Smile – No one wants to see a grumpy, grouchy, cry booby. A smile, laughter, joy  is always welcome. Nothing can be more invigorating than a smile. A smile not only evokes a pleasant response, it actually energizes the self too. (SMILE is nothing but an acronym for See My Instant Life Energizer – click to read more about it here – http://poweract.blogspot.com/2010/01/smile.html )

Talk – Communication is the thread that binds human beings. While non verbal communication is both powerful and perhaps more widely used, it is talk that is consciously acknowledged as the principal medium of communication. An acknowledgement by way of a nod or a smile are powerful non verbal tools of communication, talking with another helps strengthen relationships. It also opens doors to better understanding and is a quick way to connect more intensely with people.

Help – Action, they say speaks louder than words. So while talk as a means of communication is powerful, it is any action that is offered in terms of helping another is the icing on the cake of relationships.  Simple acts like picking up something that some has dropped or helping someone with a heavy luggage or just spending time with the elderly or sick,  is help that would be much valued. Helping someone in trouble, be it rescuing someone or taking someone to a hospital or babysitting, putting in word to someone influential to get a problem sorted, donating blood when required  etc. are opportunities that  are relatively much more valued than monetary help. At times monetary help too is required but that is subject to our own ability to help out.

Encourage – Encouragement takes many forms. The most obvious is when a person is down an out, giving them some motivational inputs and allying their worries and fears. Encouragement could also take the form of heartily congratulating success and nudging the person to up the bar. Encouragement could also be subtle hints with appealing logic on how to do even better, suggesting course corrections and in extreme cases discouraging individual from taking a path of failure or self destruction. Appreciation is a fantastic form of encouragement. Achievements, good deeds, extraordinary performance all need to be appreciated, for that encourages individuals aim for higher glory. Since man does not live on bread alone, he needs encouragement to nourish his/ her spirit too.

Surprise them – A phone call to a long lost friend or a letter to a former teacher, a visit to an elderly friend or relative can be varied forms of surprises. Similarly sending a surprise gift on a significant occasion that you are privy to would be warmly appreciated and make a big difference to people. Volunteering help, finding solutions to problems of people who least expect it from you would always be much valued.

Share their sorrows – Happiness shared is doubled and sorrows shared are halved so the saying goes. The brightest rainbows are those that appear after a heavy shower. Be that rainbow in the life of people who are going through tough times, serious difficulties and those battling personal tragedies.

Try these:           

Try volunteering your services using any of your abilities/ talents to orphanages, hospice, prisons, old age homes, homes for the differently abled / mentally challenged.

Think back and make a list of people and events in which you were the recipient of any or all of the above support that lit up your life when you were in gloom.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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The secret to great relationships

20- 4 June17 -A great relationship

If you look at the friendships you have made over the many years of your life, what stands out is the fact that you have and equation with your friends which is often very ironical. There are things about your friend that you love and that is the reason for the bonding and yet there are habits/ mannerisms/ behavior / style of your friend that you dislike, possibly abhor and yet you overlook them. Friendships thrive on these differences and how individuals manage to reconcile these juxtapositions holds the key to endearing and enduring relationships.

It is possible that in many relationships it is differences between individuals is what triggers attention to each other but ultimately it is the similarities that bring about a confluence of appreciative emotions. In most cases though, it is the similarities in thought and approach that helps bonding and the respect for differences cements these bonds. Excellent relationships are all about managing these juxtapositions.

Good relationships are cemented stronger if both the appreciation of similarities and the respect for differences are expressed; the former more vigorously the latter more diplomatically. The latter is a tad tougher to express for it always carries a possibility of being misunderstood or being seen as a reproach and hence viewed as an indictment. This can bring about a wedge in relationships and hence has to be expressed very selectively and cautiously.  The differences are accentuated in criticisms, puns, sarcasm and disagreements. Hence it is important to be aware of the potential lethal effects of using any of the above in words or deeds.

Honesty in the relationship ensures there is greater understanding. However, brutal honesty can be damaging. Disagreements and differences of opinion are essential to retain the individuality of the people in a relationship. It is the individuality of the parties in a relationship that makes the communication, the interaction and the engagement in a relationship unique and interesting. The similarities between two individuals is what cements the relationship for there is a commonality of understanding, purpose and respect born out of appreciating the commonalities in each other.

Try these

  1. What are your three strengths that you think your friends appreciate in you? What are your three traits you think others find it hard to reconcile with or do not appreciate in you?
  2. What are the similarities and differences you note in the following people
  • Your siblings / cousins
  • Your three friends at work
  • Your three colleagues with whom you bond easily.
  • Your three best friends
  • Your classmates in school/ college with whom you meet up occasionally

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Shadows have no color

13- 28 Mar 17 -Shadows have no colorThe image today has varied interpretations and perhaps it would also make us aware of how we can get in touch with our own self. It is also the first image in this blog without any words etched on it and hence I am free to interpret it my way. I am sure you too can discover new meanings in it too. Make your life colorful !

When I say hello to myself I discover me. This is perhaps the most obvious interpretation of the picture. In reality we rarely pause to take a deep look at answering questions like, Who am I? What do I seek? Where do I want to go? How can I change and become even more effective? Pausing occasionally to reflect about one’s own journey through life and the way ahead would often be invigorating, stimulating and eye opening. You could discover latent passions, uncover flaws that limited your potential and allow you to appreciate the blessings in your life.

My emotions help me touch myself – You shadow does not define you nor does it uphold you. It is an illusionary appendage that is neither harmful not beneficial. The shadow cannot reflect your inner core. It just outlines the exterior and that to, a distorted image depending on the light. For you to really understand yourself and touch your inner self, you need to understand and appreciate your emotions. Your feelings your sensitivity, your mettle have to be dug out from within you by introspection, observation, listening and interpretation. Perhaps you also have to realign your attitude, behavior and actions to get the best out of your physical and emotional potential.

I need to reach out and touch another – My shadow can fall on another but make no difference to the other person. If I want to touch another person, I will have to make the effort to reach out and touch him/ her. My shadow in fact begins from a point in my physical self; yet I am neither conscious about it nor do I give it any importance. The same is true about my shadow that touches around without them even noticing it. Yet when I stop and pay attention to others, when I listen to them, when I talk and share my thoughts and feelings I can get responses that matter to me and them.  I have a responsibility to reach out and have a positive influence on those around me.

Shadows reflect an outline; I reflect my life – A shadow just takes the form without any depth. It is my life that I lead, that projects the real me. My values, my upbringing, my education, my attitude, my behavior, my strength of character are all displayed in full measure by the way I lead my life. I would be judged (correctly or wrongly) by others by the example I set and the personality I reflect my real self in my interactions. Ironically the shadow that follows me everywhere is just a uni-dimensional projection of my physical self and even that is distorted.  When I say hello to my shadow, I am just making myself aware that there is a multi faceted individual within me that no shadow can do justice to. It also is my way of realizing that there are hues of grey within me that I need to paint brighter. I am responsible for who I am.

In the end thou art just a form but… – This is a chilling reminder that the shadow is all that you are. No color, no emotions, no attachments just a form that you can neither touch nor feel nor avoid. Yet, the form cannot be visible without a physical you and the power of light. As long as you are alive you are duty bound to make the best of your life and the light around; be it family, friends, colleagues or simply the presence of nature around you. The challenge for you is to prove Shakespeare wrong  when he said ‘ the evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interned with their bones’.

Don’t let your shadow define you; let your life be your epitaph long after you are interned.

Try these:

  • Try and write your own epitaph. It will give a purpose and meaning to your life.
  • Choose 3-5 sayings or proverbs that you can make it the bedrock of your life.
  • Click on the following links to see how people creatively use the power of shadows. Perhaps you too can attempt to do something creative in a similar way.

http://tinyurl.com/m25ywpo

http://tinyurl.com/mkd8bd5

 Identify two special qualities that endear the following people to you

  • Your parents/ siblings / a special family member
  • Your two best friends
  • Your two favorite teachers / bosses / colleagues
  • Your favorite animal or bird

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Family tree…

40-family-treeThe Christmas season is fast approaching and that is a time when most times families, particularly in countries that celebrate Christmas get together to bond and renew ties. Equivalent festivities are definitely present in various other countries and cultures too. So what is common to all these festivities?  It is a time when we realize how each person has evolved and found his/ her own path in life and chalked out their destiny. What makes the season special is also the fact that gifts are exchanged, which means each gift is thoughtfully selected for the person to whom we gift it. It is also a time for fun and bonding, a time to reminisce and a time to realize how each one has grown and yet remained rooted.

This is a good time to have a re-look at our own family tree.

Branching out – The individuality of people, the paths they tread and the way each one evolves is reflected in the way one branches out and chalks out one’s own destiny. The beauty of this branching out is that it helps people evolve, it is the blooming of the child into maturity and it is the culmination of how one attempts to give expression to ones dreams, hopes and aspirations. Some are fortunate to have a smooth passage with encouragement and relatively easy success paving the way. However, for many, branching out is a challenge. There are parental expectations, personal weakness and conflicting alternatives that we need to overcome, before we reach stability in personal and professional life.

Remaining rooted –Branching out happens because we have our individualistic thoughts, dreams, passions and abilities that are different from the other family members.  However, what gives us identify apart from our own achievements are the family ties that bind us, the support system they represent, the commonality of emotions that draws us close to each other. We can fondly reminisce about the good old days; go through the ecstatic and most depressing moments together, feeling it as one. It is also the bond that makes us come together for a joyous celebrations like weddings in the family or a significant birthday of a loved one and it is also the same bond that enables us to be present during traumatic moments of our extended family  be it a an accident or a death. Our roots bind us together for we are all nourished by the same love that runs through our branches, leaves and fruits.

Growing – For a tree to become a tree, it is essential that both its roots and its branches grow healthy and strong. The same holds true for a family. So while the individuality will help one find his/ her own future and destiny, it is the bond with the family and extended family that provides one with values, culture and nourishment through support in testing times. If the roots are strong, the tree will always grow and flourish and a family that is grounded in good values, culture and close bonds would be the same too. Give space to individuals to bloom and flower and keep them close so that they continue to be nourished by the bonds that tie one another.

Try these:

  • Make a family tree and share it with the extended family.
  • Hold family reunions to ensure there are more meetings and interactions especially between the younger members of the family.
  • Share interesting tidbits of family members who have some remarkable achievements/ talents / success so that others can be proud of them and also benefit from their success.
  • Surprise a family member with a surprise gift on a significant occasion for the person.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Create magic moments

16- Make moments count

Some of us get frustrated waiting for the right moment, there are others who lament and rue those moments they missed taking advantage of and then there are plenty of us who wonder what the right moment ever is. Each breathe we take, is a moment that is all ours to utilize. Yes even the sleeping hours can be profitably used to dream up new effective plans, provided of course we go to bed with such an objective in mind. In reality, the fact that we go to bed with thoughts of attaining something worthwhile, gives us a clue as to what to do in our waking hours, to pursue that worthwhile goal. However unlike our every breathe that is automatic, capturing the right moment is actually possible only with effort. We need to first work on creating the right moment, and then be aware of the perfect time to make our move and grasp those moments and make it memorable.  So now ask yourself what was the most memorable moment of today?

Picture / visualize what you want. You create moments only when you have a purpose and goal to attain. Without it, we would never be an evolved animal but merely a specie like the rest of the animal kingdom who live merely from meal to meal with evolutionary diversions being a bonus moment in the humdrum of everyday living.  Man/ woman (human race in general) alone is blessed with the privilege to create wonderful moments to experience, share and reminiscence. In daily life, these moments will never be as dramatic as winning a contest or getting an award or breaking some records etc. Yet, we can create and cherish those moments daily by focusing on how we can contribute in our own little way to making the world around us a wee bit better each day.

Here are some things we can do daily to create those magic moments

Spread positivity – Yes there is a lot wrong with the world around. Yet the world has survived many doomsayers prophesies. So seek out the good around, be optimistic, focus on what is going on right. Go around spreading cheer, giving hope, sharing your enthusiasm, injecting a spirit of pride in those we come in contact with daily.

Stand up for your beliefs/ values – Standing up for what we perceive as right or for the values we hold dear is challenging, for there would be many others holding a different and possibly conflicting point of view. It is essential therefore that we are heard aloud, our point of view articulated clearly, our arguments unbiased and rationale and that we are willing to listen to others who may not share our views. We may not come to a definitive conclusion but we certainly won’t be steamrolled or let a brute majoritarian viewpoint be imposed de facto. That would be the moment that you create for the world to see your individuality.

Be there for others – At some stage in life each of us requires help from others. Seek out those who need such support and reach out to them. It could be someone struggling to take a decision, someone who is lonely and scared, it could be someone wanting to share a thought or fear or it could be someone wanting acceptance. Simply being polite, well mannered, being a good listener is all it takes to make those magic moments for others and yourself.

Act decisively to bring change – All of us have complaints. Can we start doing something about our grievances? Start working on finding solutions to our grievances and soon we would be  getting others to join us in the quest of a solution not merely lamenting about our problems. You would create that moment by acting decisively to bring about change rather than joining the chorus of complainants.

Appreciate and encourage – At a more simple and personal level, you can create moments by appreciating others who have achieved something and encouraging those who are yet to fulfill their potential. Appreciation and encouragement are very fulfilling when one does it spontaneously, means it genuinely and gives of it freely. Look out for opportunities to spread such cheer and optimism daily.

Pardon and forgive – If we feel wronged we find it hard to pardon and forgive those who we see as perpetrators of the injustice. As a result, long after the event has passed, we still nurture a grievance, secretly hope to avenge it and want to plot the others downfall or atleast get a vicarious pleasure in their suffering.  Yet it is that moment when we can forgive and pardon that will set us at peace, free us from a mental bondage and create a moment of personal exhilaration.

Accept and let go – Some events will overwhelm us. We cannot turn the clock back and yet we either live in denial or we seek comfort in lamenting ‘if only’. The moment we let go of the crutch of denial or lament, we would make dramatic progress in leading a happier, fulfilling and meaningful life. Accept the mistakes of the past, let it remain in the past, focus on the opportunities ahead and the enormous potential you have to make life even more wonderful. It is that moment you create that will transform you into the person that you really are meant to be.

Try these:

Go to a vantage point like a street level café in a crowded market place or a bustling railway station or bus terminus and simply observe the people passing by. Pay attention to those walking slowly, those lingering, those looking lost and confused, those on the verge of tears. Be grateful for your more well off life and attempt to mitigate the misery of one such person you notice.

Go and visit an elderly friend or relative who is seeking company or visit the sick in the hospital nearby. Perhaps you can  visit a home for the physically/ mentally challenged and create some magic moments for them too.

Maybe you would like to write or speak to someone who you could not pardon or someone who you would like to appreciate. Maybe you can volunteer for a movement about which you are passionate but have not yet committed. Is there a regret that you want to let go off and walk away from. Write it down and then tear it up and trash it.

Learn to create those moments that you will cherish henceforth! Go forth and be blessed with magic moments and timeless memories.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Leave a little sparkle

15- Leave a little sparkle

Most of us go through life feeling that we are just one in a crowd and that no one ever notices us nor values us. Yes it is true that parents would always have a special place for their kids but even that is often liberally sprinkled with do’s and don’ts and an incompleteness that suggests we need to still exceed their expectations.  As a result, we are often trying to match up to expectations, trying to prove a point to others and do not really offer to the world around liberally of our talents, our abilities and our real self. The reality is that our individuality has much to offer that is unique and that is valued by others. It is the little things that we do, that is more significant than the convoluted efforts we make to impress others and gain approval. By being ourselves we are more natural, caring, feeling and expressive.  There is always a lot of sparkle that we leave behind when we are natural not artificial, genuine not put on and when we can freely offer of our self without expectations from others.

Our natural self is often influenced by our upbringing, our family values and the inputs in our formative years in school and social settings. Our own attitudes, beliefs and thinking too have a major bearing on how our personality shapes up. There is a lot of positivity, goodness, care and concern that we are born with but these can be reinforced or negated by influences as we grow up. There is so much that we offer the world around that is valued, appreciated and eagerly sought for without us being conscious about it. So what is it that we can offer spontaneously, amply and freely that will always sparkle up our environment and the people around us?

A smile is obviously the most obvious and easiest sparkle that we can share with others. With a smile we acknowledge another person in a warm way. It is a sure way to state we notice the other person and a way to silently inform that we appreciate their presence. Very often it is also the beginning of a communication and possibly a friendship and a connect. A warm genuine smile brightens up the environment, lightens the mood and livens up the spirit.

Appreciation is something that every individual seeks. It is also something that can be easily given for there is a lot to appreciate in others. We tend to be stingy with our appreciation mainly because we are not aware how effective it is in creating a bond and building up relationships. Appreciation must not be confused with flattery. Appreciation is a genuine expression of a good sentiment towards an other. It can be simply an appreciation of the good work done by someone or your acknowledgment of something good in the other person. The best appreciation is when we respond positively to the individual concerned but we can also be appreciative of the person in a forum or setting where the person is not present.

Empathy is our ability to understand and feel a person’s pain and if possible to act decisively to mitigate it by our actions. Empathy goes a step beyond sympathy in that we don’t merely understand the others pain but we also attempt to walk with the person in discomfort and try to alleviate the pain to the extent possible. We are active participants in the process of healing for the others. This is difficult to spontaneously do because we often tend to hold back our feelings and expect others to ask us for our support.

Encouragement is a simple yet powerful technique that enables one to motivate and support others thereby leaving our little sparkle in their lives. Lots of people constantly need support in their emotional life as well as in coping with the stress of failures. Often they blame themselves for their inability to cope with the challenges they face. As a friend or well wisher or even as a bystander we can perhaps try and take a detached view and offer encouragement to the individual concerned and motivate him/ her to have fresh perspective and try again. With our encouragement we rekindle hope in them and they begin to pursue with greater vigour.

Support comes in many forms. Encouragement is also a form of support. However it is the support that we lend in practical terms like financial support at crucial times, being with them physically when they are in trouble, like when are involved in a calamity, that is really cherished.  One could also support by putting in a word to influencers who can help their cause or just being with them when they are at their lowest depth psychologically and emotionally. Even if we cannot support them directly we must be able to at least guide them to find support or suggest to them alternatives to explore. Even the tiniest of support offered is the little sparkle that you offer them.

Keeping in touch has become easy nowadays because of technology. Yet, it is the personal touch that one craves for. Wishing people or expressing sympathy or forwarding messages through the electronic means has become so easy that it is done with little or no personalization or feeling. The real touch is in our ability to talk, meet, getting together and in giving surprises to those around. This does take both time and effort, but it is the time and effort we invest in keeping in touch that sets us apart from the others. The sparkle that we leave behind is the memories of those wonderful moments when personal touch actually touched the heart. The sparkle of those memories would always be cherished and would always remain priceless.

Try these:

In addition to the above explore how you can leave a sparkle through the following

  • Your manners
  • Your etiquettes
  • Your initiative
  • Your impartiality and fairness
  • Your tone/ language/ conduct
  • Your talents / abilities
  • Your wit/ humor/ presence of mind

 List out the following

  • Names of 2 individuals (other than immediate family) who have deeply influenced you.
  • Recollect 2 wonderful moments from your life where someone played an important part in making it memorable.
  • Can you remember at least 2 incidences where your involvement in some way made a person thrilled and ever grateful for your presence.
  • Are there memories of times when you did not get the appreciation /support or encouragement that you sought from someone? Do you still feel bad about it?
  • Do you remember an embarrassing moment/s when you backed out from offering support / encouragement to someone who placed his/ her faith in you?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Woman’s world

5- 8Mar 15 - Women's WorldOn women’s day, I think this is an appropriate post for the numerous ladies who subscribe and / or read this blog. It is equally relevant if not extremely important for the gentlemen to go through the post to appreciate the finer nuances of the term Sexy from a woman’s perspective.

Like any normal human being, every individual would like to be noticed, appreciated and respected no matter what their age, gender or economic background. A woman is blessed by nature to be a shade different from men in both physical form as also in their abilities, their mental makeup and their style. A woman often multitasks with seamless competence, has a greater resolve, is more committed to family responsibilities and becomes the pivot of a happy family. It is equally true that a women takes the effort to be well dressed, spends time and energy to be well groomed without compromising on their core responsibilities.

The woman one admires is not just the appealing physical form but the entire package that can include a number of roles being played by the same individual. She can be a dutiful daughter, an affectionate sister, a faithful wife, a protective parent and a diligent individual in any role. Remarkably, a woman will revel in any of these roles for she understands the criticality of her contribution in each of these roles. She will applaud, scold, worry, appreciate and chasten with equal aplomb for she is driven by love, motivated by bonding and duty bound by nature.

A woman’s personality lies in her dexterity, her vivaciousness, her independence and her commitment. She can be fiercely protective of those she loves, unabashedly partial to those she is fond of, acutely distressed when a loved one is in pain and exceedingly exuberant when in the company of boisterous, like minded people. In each of these varied roles a woman will be able to unobtrusively hold her own and perhaps that is the reason men tend to discount the women’s role and instead direct attention to perceived short comings of the lady. Numerous times the male chauvinist fails to give credit to the woman who is independent, self confident and individualistic.

While a women’s day, like a birthday is designated for euphoric celebrations, make each day of yours a special day; give expression to your thoughts, feelings and actions with confidence and passion. Gentlemen, appreciate the women in your life; notice how they make it more colorful, comfortable and cheerful.

Try these:

What are the 3 endearing qualities you appreciate in the following women

  • Your mother
  • Your sister / cousin sister
  • An aunt
  • Your wife / lady friend
  • A lady teacher
  • A lady who is a public figure

Think of 3 innovative gifts that you will gift any 3 of the above women. Try and give one gift before the month end to one of the ladies mentioned above.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Karma Cafe

13-2 August 14 -Karma CafeSo now that you have tried everything in pursuit of happiness which is still elusive, perhaps you have resigned to your fate or Karma, accepting that you have to make do whatever you are destined to. The good part is that it brings a closure to your yet fruitless pursuit. The bad part is that you find it still tough to accept the situation. The good news though is that there is still hope, for you can still get served what you deserve.

Instead of focusing on what you want, focus on how you can get to the right feast.

Ensure you get invited – This is a lot different from forcing yourself to a feast or getting invited by stealth. Step back and visualise who gets invited. It is invariably those, who the host has an urge to invite. This means that you need to be known to the host, you need to be accepted by the host as worthy of being invited and the host will miss your presence if you are unable to make it to the feast. To ensure that your karma is aligned to the hosts expectations from the guest, you need to work on your attitude, your character, your worth and you can then hope to get what you deserve.

Sit at a table – In a movie the balcony seats are prized most whereas for a play or musical the front seats are for the privileged. At a banquet you get served if occupy a table. Unfortunately there are no buffets in Karma Café so you can’t serve yourself. In Karma Café you choose and set the table by ensuring that thoughts and deeds are aligned to your personal betterment, the betterment of the society around you and by leaving the world a better place than what you inherited.

Don’t be greedy – At Karma Café you will never want for anything. However this is possible only when on your journey to Karma Café you have taken care of those along the journey with you, sacrificed for those in greater need and by not amassing and hording for yourself especially at a cost to others. If you fed the hungry, clothed the naked , visit the sick and befriend a stranger then you are well on your way to a sumptuous meal at Karma Café.

Be grateful and gracious – At a banquet the guests have little or no control over what is served. Long before you are a guest, you are a host for all those who you come in contact with. Be grateful for the privileges you have that can be shared with your guests and be lavish and gracious in sharing with them. Only then can you expect to be a privileged guest at Karma Café.

Do unto others as you want them to do to you is the one line philosophy of the Karma Café !

Try this:

List the names of 3 people who have annoyed you a lot. Find 2 reasons( for each person) and pardon them by removing your ill feelings towards them. It would be extremely beneficial for you to actually tell them that you have no ill will towards them.

Think of the worst act ( maybe dishonesty / perhaps lies you said / possibly grudge you hold etc) that you have ever indulged in. Think of ways to atone for it.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog poweract.blogspot.in

 

Be the CEO of your life

3-27Apr14-Be  the CEO of your lifeThe major problems we face in our life, has its roots in our attitude towards it. Unfortunately, our attitude is also largely influenced by people around us. So it is essential that we periodically evaluate the numerous people who come into our life and influence us. By and large, those whom we interact with are people who fall in one of the following categories; those who are part of our lives like our parents, siblings and relatives; those who are influencers like elders, teachers, bosses at work; people who come into our life like friends, colleagues, neighbors’, household staff etc. Each one of them will broadly have your welfare in mind when interacting with you but the problem arises when you cannot accept their point of view or they refuse to appreciate your viewpoint.

Parents and teachers would ideally like obedient, studious and well mannered children /youngsters. Friends and colleagues would seek a pleasant, friendly and fun to be with person. Similar characteristics are sought by others too be it neighbors’, co passengers on a journey or the household staff. As individuals we too would look out for many of these qualities in the people we interact with. The problem begins when we fail to meet the other people’s expectations and they react in a manner designed to influence your thoughts and attitudes to their expectations from you. When the differences become acute our attitude and consequent behavior also alters often sharply and negatively. We can turn into rebels or become docile or indifferent or become angry and uncooperative or turn into defeatists. A few though are also able to adapt themselves and adopt a positive, vibrant and go getter attitude designed to succeed and prove others wrong.

If you are not one of who is blessed with a positive, vibrant and go getter attitude, it is essential that you take charge of your life immediately; after all you are the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of your life. One of the toughest tasks a CEO has is people management for it involves promoting people, demoting people and in extreme cases terminating people. As CEO of your life, this is the time to also ask yourself who are the people in your life who are invaluable to you. These, are the people who you must promote by interacting more frequently, seek counsel of when required. You would also need to listen to them more attentively, answer their questions more truthfully and trust their advice more implicitly. They could be parents, teachers, friends, well wishers or mentors; trusting them is the key.

There are other people in your life who you cannot avoid despite them being people you dislike. This could be because they give you a bad vibe or because they are constantly interfering or because they spew advice without a pause or because they display a ‘I know it all’ attitude or because they want to control your life. Unfortunately since you cannot avoid them because they are an integral part of your life either as family or office colleague or boss or a neighbor what you need to do is demote them. This can be by limiting interaction with them, acknowledging their suggestions without commitment, taking your own decisions and merely informing them about your actions etc. When it comes to the people who you despise the simplest action to be taken is to terminate them from your life. Not responding to them, avoiding them as often as possible and frankly telling them that you do not like their interference in your life are sure shot ways to ensure you eliminate the people who you have no interest in.

Now you have taken the first steps to being the perfect CEO of your life.

Try this:

  1. List out 3 names each of people in your life who you would like to promote, demote and eliminate. Also work out an action plan to execute the same.
  2. Name 3 people who have supported and encouraged you. Write down the most inspirational message they gave you.
  3. Can you recollect the most misplaced negative comment or feedback you ever got?
  4. Can you remember the 3 most encouraging statements you have made to others and the most critical statements you have told others?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Life has many choices… so what is your choice?

13-30-Life has choices...what is yoursThe toughest part of life is taking decisions. Unfortunately all our life we will be constantly facing this dilemma because almost all the time we are blessed with choices and we have to decide what to choose. Remember the battle with the alarm every morning when it is time to wake up? Confused about what to have for breakfast / what to wear etc.? On hindsight, each one of them is a minor decision as compared to the major decisions you have to make regarding your career, your future, your savings, your life partner etc. Yet there is one decision that you need to make that would determine how you are perceived by the world at large and one that will decide your fundamental happiness; the decision to be yourself.

Being yourself seems to be the easiest thing to do but in reality it is very tough because

You seek acceptance of all what you do or say

You would ideally like to project a picture perfect picture of yourself

You would like to have an impact or influence on the people and the world around.

However it is possible to find greater acceptance of the person you are, project yourself in more favorable light and leave your footprints on the sands of time. What you need to do is groom yourself right, develop the right social skills and values systems, iron out your weaknesses and then when you project yourself it is a well rounded personality that comes to the fore.

Here are a couple of things that one must focus upon so as to comfortably be yourself and find acceptance by many and also touch many lives.

1. Cultivate good manners

2. Enhance your vocabulary and communication skills

3. Be truthful

4. Groom yourself well / dress appropriately

5. Learn to appreciate and compliment

6. Develop empathy

7. Control your temper

8. Keep calm no matter what the crisis

9. Be respectful no matter what the provocation

10. SMILE

Try this:

  • How would you want people to describe you after they have frequently interacted with you?
  • Name three people other than your family members who have had a profound impact on you?
  • If you were to be marooned on an island which person personally known to you would you prefer to be your companion on that island.
  • What is the one most endearing quality you seek in a person who you consider your friend.
  • If in a sudden crisis who is the person you would reach out to first ?
  • Your best friend is in serious trouble with the law. You are aware that he is guilty. How and what and when would you communicate with him/ her?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com