Category: Relationships

A candle called YOU

A candle called YOU

It is easy to think of candles as a relic of the past. Yet, visit a shrine and invariably you will find people lighting up candles despite the fact that the place is well lit. It is symbolic of the faith that one reposes albeit in the fond hope of getting a favor done. A candle is merely a carrier of light, much like a torch. Yet, it is the light that one yearns for when in the dark. The carrier of light be it a torch or a candle is much sought after then, for that is the only way to ensure the light stays on for a longer period of time. Ironically in today’s day and age, a candle is hard to locate at home not because we do not value it but because we treat it as just to be used rarely, sparingly and hopefully never ever. So the candle is casually kept in some corner or drawer much out of sight.

As individuals we often feel that we are treated like candles. Look back at the sudden phone calls from long lost friends or casual acquaintances. We immediately scan the background of the personal mentally wondering what possible reason could have motivated her/ him to call. We also jump to a conclusion that they remember us because they have a favor to ask of us. Fact is, we too remember some people only when we require their help and we know that they care in a position to help us.

In reality we cannot achieve anything on our own only. At the same time we cannot be in touch with others all the time. So when people get in touch out of the blue, feel like a candle that has much to offer when the room is dark. Bear in mind that every individual has something tangible to contribute no matter how big or small. At times someone may call you up merely to get a phone number of a person known to you. The only thing you do is pass the number on but at the point it is a critical help for the other person. There are times when people call just because they either remembered you or because they chanced upon your telephone number. Be glad that they feel comfortable connecting with you. Ask yourself who are those people who you know well but do not want to connect with at all?

If you connect the dots, you will realize that you are much sought after when, others perceive you as helpful, understanding, respectful and empathetic. Have you ever visualized yourself as an individual who is blessed with so many virtues?

Try these:           

  • What are those endearing qualities in another person that enable you to connect with that person even after long periods of non communication? How many of such qualities do you possess?
  • Why do you think a candlelight dinner is considered romantic?
  • Who would you like to gift a scented candle to next?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Good behavior triumphs great knowledge

Good behavior triumphs great knowledge

As we come to the last month of the current year, one important lesson that we can carry forward to the New Year is that behavior always triumphs over knowledge. Good manners, exemplary etiquette’s and superlative behavior will always be valued much more than a banal display of knowledge, power and wealth. Incidentally, power and wealth are often the result of crooked knowledge or misuse of knowledge and only occasionally the result of knowledge judiciously used. The power of good behavior over pure knowledge emits from the effect each has, on those who are receiving it. A brilliant but arrogant teacher/ professor / boss will always be poorly looked at but a non descript, simple individual who displays empathy and consideration will never be short of respect and support.

Behavior is imbibed and the family and social environment have a large say in it. It is also imperative that the individual also has an attitude of absorbing and utilizing the good social skills and graces in every situation. A common lapse on the part of many, that often brings to the fore poor behavior,  is the frequent resort to foul language at the drop of a hat. Simply controlling that will be a great step in being conscious of one’s style and culture, apart from instilling self discipline within us.

Knowledge is largely the outcome of formal education, personal intelligence and hard work. Experience and absorption of information helps one, widen ones knowledge. Real knowledge is not just what one demonstrates at work but what one displays when dealing with unequals, especially those, lower in economic or social strata. If knowledge and behavior can be aligned there is no reason why an individual cannot reach for the stars and attain it.

A classic example of how knowledge and behavior go hand in hand, is diplomacy and tact being used to arrive at consensus decisions. Spirit of the game or spirit of the law is nothing but another extension of how behavior and knowledge go hand in hand. Just try and recollect the great sporting gestures where the spirit of the game leap frogged over a possible unsportman like victory. The term pyrrhic victory perhaps explains the exact opposite; knowledge misused by means foul have resulted in victories that remain as a blot and remain etched for reasons best forgotten.

Many a time it takes tremendous courage and self belief to let good behavior triumph at the cost of personal failure. However, the victory is in living with your head held high, even if you have missed out on a possible prize. Your personal standards are what you define and not dictated by the need to achieve anything, by questionable means. Small gestures like appreciation, thanking those who have helped, apologizing for a mistake made, highlighting the significant contribution of others, taking responsibility for a team failure etc. are small but significant markers in your quest to ensure your behavior is exemplary at all times.

 Try these:          

List out three great sportsmanship gestures displayed in any sports.

Think of three individuals who had an impact on you? Can you identify one behavioral trait that endeared them to you?

Think of a couple of individuals ( former classmates / former  or current colleagues / professional associates etc. ) who are brilliant in their profession but give you a poor vibe. Can you identify a personal trait that they display that puts you off?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Our purpose in life could be unique

Our purpose in life could be unique

Often friends and acquaintances have asked me what motivates me to write this blog. The quote today in many ways, aptly sums up the key motivation for me to write. I think, my writing and sharing matters to those who read it, especially those who have chosen to follow my blog and get the blog feed in their inbox. It is my belief, that I do make a difference, to many of those who read my blog. I am sure the same feeling is what drives others, be they artists, caregivers, teachers or volunteers to spend time pursuing what they do. For most a job is a job but for those driven to make a difference the value of their effort is never measured in numbers.

While engaging in what you do is at the core of how we inspire, ignite and spark the flame, what really makes the difference are the following:

Being passionate – Your passion and zeal are what generates the energy and motivation in those around you. Notice how a passionate teacher, a enthusiastic co-worker or a diligent boss energizes you do achieve the impossible. Go about your activities with enthusiasm, excitement and energy- you can be sure you will transmit it to those around. They will draw inspiration from you and that will ignite the spirit of enthusiasm in others.

Setting an example – Walking the talk is what sets the example for others to believe in and follow. It could be simple actions like carrying your own cloth bag or helping a challenged person cross the street or acknowledging someone who has done you a small favor. Being attentive to people who are talking to you, smiling when meeting a stranger on the subway or hotel lobby, being respectful to the waiter serving you are simple ways of setting an example especially to those who look up to you for the right values.

Encouraging – Everyone who falters on the first attempt tends to get discouraged. When they continuously slip they become despondent. They require encouragement. A clap, a word of encouragement, a wave of the hand in appreciation, a thumbs up, a pat on the back are little ways to fire up an individual. Next time you notice a first time speaker floundering, give him/ her a nod and a smile to indicate that they are doing good and just need to keep at it. It will make a difference to their performance. Have you realized how we encourage babies taking their first steps? We are more excited to see them making their first walk of faith. Yet, later we are the same people who do not share their passion for things they find amazing but those that do not meet our standards of sensibilities.

Listening – Have you ever noticed people, especially young kids talking in excitement? All they need is someone to listen to. Unfortunately most adults give them a casual hearing and often react with suggestions far removed from the tale the youngster is sharing. The simple act of listening and then responding with words of appreciation, encouragement and enthusiasm is what sparks and ignites the spirit of excellence in them.

Being non judgmental Many a time what others do may my complexly out of sync with our own tastes or sensibilities. However, we must suspend judgment and never react with our own views and thoughts. At times it takes time for us to understand the other person, many a time we cannot visualize what they can see and far too often we are too conservative to appreciate the risks others take. The best way to ensure the others are pepped up and given a nudge is by being non judgmental and being open minded to ideas, views, actions that may faze us temporarily. You may not really encourage because you cannot understand but do not discourage because you fail to understand the other person.

Try these:         

  • List out the three qualities of those people who have inspired you. Ensure one of them is a former teacher and if you have work experience, identify a former boss or colleague.
  • What is the one quality in you that others appreciate? Do you utilize that enough to inspire and enthuse those around you? What more can you do to fire the spark in people, especially children and youngsters?
  • Think of two instances where it was the example or encouragement of someone else that helped you reinvent yourself and achieve whatever you are proud of.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Expectations are a gift not a burden

Expectations are a gift not a burden

It takes a really different perspective, to understand and appreciate, how an expectation becomes a gift and that it is not a burden. Remember the festival times and birthdays, when each of us had some sort of expectations regarding the gifts, we believed we would get. Perhaps in some cases, the expectations still persists, except that the giver of the gift has changed, possibly to that of a spouse, grownup children, a new friend, the in laws etc. On the other hand, do you as an individual, get bogged down by the challenge of fulfilling expectations? It could be as simple as what gift or give someone or it could be more complex as, how do I fulfill the other person’s expectations of me when I myself am not motivated or confident of giving something appropriate?

To understand and appreciate the perspective of expectation being a gift, one needs to appreciate that expectations are always put only on those we have trust in; have faith in; people who we are sure love us a lot and believe in doing the best for us. Expectations arise because we place out trust in someone and that trust is earned because they have given ample evidence of their nature and love for us. It is true that many a time we have been disappointed when our expectations did not match up to what we had in mind. Other times, the expectations remained unfulfilled for a variety of reasons but while the pain of that moment may still be a little sore, we have still largely kept up our expectations in them again. Our expectations are proof of our understanding, appreciation, trust and value we place in the relationship.

If you are someone burdened with the onus of fulfilling expectations, look at those expectations as a testimony to other people looking up to you. This kind of trust is earned over time and reinforces the reality that you have are a person who people look up to, trust whole heartedly and believe. They have expectations from you because in their experience, what you offer in word, deed and gifts are valuable, chosen with care and apt. You have over time given others reason to believe in you. You have listened to them, you have kept them in your thoughts, you have the courage of conviction to give a feedback and you value the relationship with them.

Look at yourself as the Santa Claus that brings good cheer in all ways, at all times to many a people and thereby you have earned trust, respect and the challenge of fulfilling myriad expectations however big or small.

Try these:         

  • Ask yourself if there are people whose email forwards or watts app forwards are looked forward to by you? Can you identify the reasons for it? Is it because they forward you selective, meaningful, apt stuff that you can identify with?
  • Next challenge is for you to be as discreet, selective and discerning in your communications as the person whose communication you value.
  • Who disappointed you the most because he/ she/ they never came even close to fulfilling your expectations from them?  Have you also let down others in a similar way, when they had high expectations from you? What is common to both situations?
  • What was the most wonderful gift you ever received? Ask yourself why the value of that gift is priceless for you?
  • What is the best gift that you have gifted to anyone? What makes you think it is an excellent gift?
  • Is there any gift or surprise that you received that was completely unexpected and thrilling?
  • What was the gift you disliked or disapproved of and rankles you even today? Can you identify the reasons for this feeling of dislike?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Nirvana – the Rubick’s cube way

Nirvana – the Rubick’s cube way

I came across this wonderful cartoon,  that puts in perspective what we need to do this coming year, to ensure that by the year end, we can look back with no regrets – simply get ourselves sorted right.

All of us travel with a whole lot of baggage; some inherited, some acquired, a few bestowed and most of it our own creation. As a result we are constantly balancing our imaginary and realistic possessions in the fond hope that they will ensure that we live a worry free life of comfort and happiness. Unfortunately, with each passing day, juggling becomes problematic as we seem to have a penchant for adding to our possessions, keep craving for more and wishing some of our less prized or despised possessions would be taken away. The six sides of the Rubick’s cube give us a clue as to how we can organize our life and attain Nirvana without having to climb the mountain in search of a guru.

Each of the six sides of the cube can be seen as representative of a broad aspect of our life. Our physical well being, our mental/ intelligent growth, our emotional stability, our spiritual/ ethical grounding , our financial security and our social needs. All we need to do is to ensure we sort out each of these aspects of our life so that they, like the colors of each side remain in harmony and pronto the Rubik cube of life is sorted.

A few pointers given below, may perhaps help us get the knack of sorting each aspect of our life more expeditiously and productively.

Physical well being – This is a no brainer. Obviously if we are not in the best physical shape, it is extremely difficult to live a productive life. Eating in moderation, eating healthy and physical exercise are the keystones of physical well being. However,  worry and stress do tend to have an unduly negative impact on physical well being as well. Regular health checkup and the subsequent suggestions of the medical practitioner’s would ensure that your over physical well being is at its best at all times. Those will disabilities and challenges would do well to accept the realities and pace their lives accordingly. This is particularly true for those who unfortunately become victims of such disabilities after leading a perfectly healthy lifestyle.

Mental and Intellectual growth – Reading widely, soaking in new experiences, experimenting, living beyond one’s comfort zone are ways and means of ensuring you continue to growth mentally and intellectually. Get involved in the changes happening around, interact with the young, listen without judging and be open to ideas that seem contrarian to your intellect.

Emotional stability – It is extremely difficult to control our emotions. Too often it is our emotional outbursts that fractures relationships, creates chasms between individuals, contributes to build up prejudices and drains us emotionally. Balance in evaluating any response and responding with a measured response both in choice of words and tone is the key to ensuring we maintain our emotional stability. Beware of issuing threats, ultimatums’, taking extreme positions in arguments; replace it with pragmaticism, reason and common sense.

Spiritual and ethical grounding – While circumstances and upbringing, have a role to play in how we develop our spiritual and ethical values, going to extremes is the cause of tensions within us. One needs to be aware of the ground realities, be accommodation to differences yet remain true to the values one cherishes. Get clarity about your values and your actions will be synchronized leaving no scope for doubts and worries.

Financial security – In a materialistic world, financial security is compulsive reality. You need to provide for your future, your lifetime and for the unexpected. Make a realistic assessment and save accordingly. Take professional help if required. However, let not the future scare you so much that you do not enjoy the present. The challenge is to balance your current utilization and provide for future security. Take those holidays you crave for, indulge in some luxuries that you dream about, experiment with a progressive lifestyle and make your today just as enjoyable as the future you dream off.

Social needs – As a social animal, one cannot live as a hermit or in seclusion. Yet, on one extreme we are connected with all the gadgets and technology and on the other hand the physical interactions seem to be disappearing. Life is always full of beautiful memories which you have to create and make a reality. There is no substitute to meeting, interacting and enjoying life in groups. It could be families together, friends together, travel companions or making connections with strangers. Be there in person; minimize the use of gadgets and you will create magical moments to cherish forever.

Try these:

  1. Just list out one resolution that you will diligently adhere to for each of the above points. Begin Now.
  2. List out 3 of your fondest memories
  • With your parents
  • Your siblings / cousins
  • Your school mates
  • Your college mates
  • Friends you made in your travels
  • Unexpected but fond experiences
  • This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Death is not the biggest fear…

Death is not the biggest fear…

Death is a scary thought because it is a definitive end. We visualize that end and we are repulsed because we have so many unfulfilled dreams, so many wishes that we are sure will be realized if only we live. What we do not understand is the reality that, the real fear should be the realization that, what is yet to be achieved is not an accident but the result of us not risking enough to fulfill it. Even this understanding is comparatively superficial to the real fear that we are blissfully unaware of; being alive and expressing ourselves freely. We largely live a fearful life; fearful of expressing a minority view point; fearful of taking the side of your convictions; being afraid to stand up for the segregated, the marginalized, the deprived, the defenseless. In reality we are fearful but we fail to acknowledge it. Ask yourself this simple question ‘ Do I express myself freely, frankly, fearlessly on every issue that bothers me?’ You will realize that, subconsciously at times and deliberately most times, we hold back lest we are trolled, shadowed, shamed, stalked, assaulted, vilified, jailed or tortured by those who disagree with us.

Living is a risk; it carries the risk of us failing our potential; of us not standing up to be counted when the time comes; of cheating our conscious when it suits us; of us looking the other way when we should have stood by those in trouble; of telling blatant lies, white lies or being economical with the truth because the truth could hurt us; of being hypocrites, being insensitive, being inhuman and of being chameleons that change color to suit our survival. We do not risk living our real selves but live our lives to suit the world around. Can we honestly look in the mirror and look ourselves in the eye?

The fear of living, in day to day life, extends to us being fearful of skeletons tumbling out of our hidden closets; of pretending to be happy in relationships that have long ceased to exist; of doing jobs that we hate but cannot do without; of the demons of worry that beset us often; of losing loved ones; not fulfilling cherished dreams; of being made fun of or ridiculed; of having to pretend to be as rich, happy and successful as those around.

Yet, we have largely coped with these risks and that is what makes us reasonably successful. We have at times conquered our fears, occasionally learned to cope with it and sometimes succumbed to it. In our journey through life what makes us remain cheerful, optimistic and enthusiastic each day is not the absence of the fear of living but the presence of our sense of individuality, of knowing that we are an integral part of humanity and that each day has surprises that make our life love filled, fun filled and fulfilling.

Try these:           

  • Think of three occasions when you did not do, what on hindsight, you should have had the courage to do. How did you rationalize your failure to yourself? Would you have done things differently today of the same circumstances prevailed?
  • What were the three most courageous things you did, despite being aware of the consequences? Do you regret having lived by your convictions?
  • How do you deal with a person who is loud and self opinionated and gets very vocal with his/ her views when he/she sees you, because he/she knows you hold a completely dramatically opposite view point.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Be a rainbow in someone’s cloud

Be a rainbow in someone’s cloud

Look around and you will find lots of people looking for support, encouragement, help and empathy. It need not be strangers; it could be close family members, neighbors, colleagues, acquaintances; the common thread is each of them is suffering in various degrees. While some may merely need reassurance, there could be a few others who need a hand of comfort and others just need someone to lend them their ears. On the extreme end of the spectrum, there could be others on the edge of a nervous breakdown, contemplating hurting themselves or on the verge of committing suicide. There are a lot of people around us alone, afraid, lonely and seeking acknowledgement of their existence. Each of us can play a vital role in making the world around us a more lively, engaging and happier place by just being a rainbow in the life of those around us living under the shadow of a dark cloud threatening to rain and drown them.

Like the seven colors of the rainbow VIBGYOR here are seven ways you can be a rainbow for others.

Acknowledge – Begin by wishing your family members each morning. Similarly by wishing or saying a hello to neighbors, acquaintances, friends whenever we bump into them would be the very basic courtesy one can extend to another. As social animals, every individual needs the company of others to live a meaningful life. By simply wishing and acknowledging them we are offering them our warmth which is always reciprocated and warms us too. Incidentally, using basic etiquette’s like saying please, sorry, thank you, excuse me etc. also largely do the same thing; respecting their individuality while also being courteous.

Smile – No one wants to see a grumpy, grouchy, cry booby. A smile, laughter, joy  is always welcome. Nothing can be more invigorating than a smile. A smile not only evokes a pleasant response, it actually energizes the self too. (SMILE is nothing but an acronym for See My Instant Life Energizer – click to read more about it here – http://poweract.blogspot.com/2010/01/smile.html )

Talk – Communication is the thread that binds human beings. While non verbal communication is both powerful and perhaps more widely used, it is talk that is consciously acknowledged as the principal medium of communication. An acknowledgement by way of a nod or a smile are powerful non verbal tools of communication, talking with another helps strengthen relationships. It also opens doors to better understanding and is a quick way to connect more intensely with people.

Help – Action, they say speaks louder than words. So while talk as a means of communication is powerful, it is any action that is offered in terms of helping another is the icing on the cake of relationships.  Simple acts like picking up something that some has dropped or helping someone with a heavy luggage or just spending time with the elderly or sick,  is help that would be much valued. Helping someone in trouble, be it rescuing someone or taking someone to a hospital or babysitting, putting in word to someone influential to get a problem sorted, donating blood when required  etc. are opportunities that  are relatively much more valued than monetary help. At times monetary help too is required but that is subject to our own ability to help out.

Encourage – Encouragement takes many forms. The most obvious is when a person is down an out, giving them some motivational inputs and allying their worries and fears. Encouragement could also take the form of heartily congratulating success and nudging the person to up the bar. Encouragement could also be subtle hints with appealing logic on how to do even better, suggesting course corrections and in extreme cases discouraging individual from taking a path of failure or self destruction. Appreciation is a fantastic form of encouragement. Achievements, good deeds, extraordinary performance all need to be appreciated, for that encourages individuals aim for higher glory. Since man does not live on bread alone, he needs encouragement to nourish his/ her spirit too.

Surprise them – A phone call to a long lost friend or a letter to a former teacher, a visit to an elderly friend or relative can be varied forms of surprises. Similarly sending a surprise gift on a significant occasion that you are privy to would be warmly appreciated and make a big difference to people. Volunteering help, finding solutions to problems of people who least expect it from you would always be much valued.

Share their sorrows – Happiness shared is doubled and sorrows shared are halved so the saying goes. The brightest rainbows are those that appear after a heavy shower. Be that rainbow in the life of people who are going through tough times, serious difficulties and those battling personal tragedies.

Try these:           

Try volunteering your services using any of your abilities/ talents to orphanages, hospice, prisons, old age homes, homes for the differently abled / mentally challenged.

Think back and make a list of people and events in which you were the recipient of any or all of the above support that lit up your life when you were in gloom.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The secret to great relationships

20- 4 June17 -A great relationship

If you look at the friendships you have made over the many years of your life, what stands out is the fact that you have and equation with your friends which is often very ironical. There are things about your friend that you love and that is the reason for the bonding and yet there are habits/ mannerisms/ behavior / style of your friend that you dislike, possibly abhor and yet you overlook them. Friendships thrive on these differences and how individuals manage to reconcile these juxtapositions holds the key to endearing and enduring relationships.

It is possible that in many relationships it is differences between individuals is what triggers attention to each other but ultimately it is the similarities that bring about a confluence of appreciative emotions. In most cases though, it is the similarities in thought and approach that helps bonding and the respect for differences cements these bonds. Excellent relationships are all about managing these juxtapositions.

Good relationships are cemented stronger if both the appreciation of similarities and the respect for differences are expressed; the former more vigorously the latter more diplomatically. The latter is a tad tougher to express for it always carries a possibility of being misunderstood or being seen as a reproach and hence viewed as an indictment. This can bring about a wedge in relationships and hence has to be expressed very selectively and cautiously.  The differences are accentuated in criticisms, puns, sarcasm and disagreements. Hence it is important to be aware of the potential lethal effects of using any of the above in words or deeds.

Honesty in the relationship ensures there is greater understanding. However, brutal honesty can be damaging. Disagreements and differences of opinion are essential to retain the individuality of the people in a relationship. It is the individuality of the parties in a relationship that makes the communication, the interaction and the engagement in a relationship unique and interesting. The similarities between two individuals is what cements the relationship for there is a commonality of understanding, purpose and respect born out of appreciating the commonalities in each other.

Try these

  1. What are your three strengths that you think your friends appreciate in you? What are your three traits you think others find it hard to reconcile with or do not appreciate in you?
  2. What are the similarities and differences you note in the following people
  • Your siblings / cousins
  • Your three friends at work
  • Your three colleagues with whom you bond easily.
  • Your three best friends
  • Your classmates in school/ college with whom you meet up occasionally

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Shadows have no color

13- 28 Mar 17 -Shadows have no colorThe image today has varied interpretations and perhaps it would also make us aware of how we can get in touch with our own self. It is also the first image in this blog without any words etched on it and hence I am free to interpret it my way. I am sure you too can discover new meanings in it too. Make your life colorful !

When I say hello to myself I discover me. This is perhaps the most obvious interpretation of the picture. In reality we rarely pause to take a deep look at answering questions like, Who am I? What do I seek? Where do I want to go? How can I change and become even more effective? Pausing occasionally to reflect about one’s own journey through life and the way ahead would often be invigorating, stimulating and eye opening. You could discover latent passions, uncover flaws that limited your potential and allow you to appreciate the blessings in your life.

My emotions help me touch myself – You shadow does not define you nor does it uphold you. It is an illusionary appendage that is neither harmful not beneficial. The shadow cannot reflect your inner core. It just outlines the exterior and that to, a distorted image depending on the light. For you to really understand yourself and touch your inner self, you need to understand and appreciate your emotions. Your feelings your sensitivity, your mettle have to be dug out from within you by introspection, observation, listening and interpretation. Perhaps you also have to realign your attitude, behavior and actions to get the best out of your physical and emotional potential.

I need to reach out and touch another – My shadow can fall on another but make no difference to the other person. If I want to touch another person, I will have to make the effort to reach out and touch him/ her. My shadow in fact begins from a point in my physical self; yet I am neither conscious about it nor do I give it any importance. The same is true about my shadow that touches around without them even noticing it. Yet when I stop and pay attention to others, when I listen to them, when I talk and share my thoughts and feelings I can get responses that matter to me and them.  I have a responsibility to reach out and have a positive influence on those around me.

Shadows reflect an outline; I reflect my life – A shadow just takes the form without any depth. It is my life that I lead, that projects the real me. My values, my upbringing, my education, my attitude, my behavior, my strength of character are all displayed in full measure by the way I lead my life. I would be judged (correctly or wrongly) by others by the example I set and the personality I reflect my real self in my interactions. Ironically the shadow that follows me everywhere is just a uni-dimensional projection of my physical self and even that is distorted.  When I say hello to my shadow, I am just making myself aware that there is a multi faceted individual within me that no shadow can do justice to. It also is my way of realizing that there are hues of grey within me that I need to paint brighter. I am responsible for who I am.

In the end thou art just a form but… – This is a chilling reminder that the shadow is all that you are. No color, no emotions, no attachments just a form that you can neither touch nor feel nor avoid. Yet, the form cannot be visible without a physical you and the power of light. As long as you are alive you are duty bound to make the best of your life and the light around; be it family, friends, colleagues or simply the presence of nature around you. The challenge for you is to prove Shakespeare wrong  when he said ‘ the evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interned with their bones’.

Don’t let your shadow define you; let your life be your epitaph long after you are interned.

Try these:

  • Try and write your own epitaph. It will give a purpose and meaning to your life.
  • Choose 3-5 sayings or proverbs that you can make it the bedrock of your life.
  • Click on the following links to see how people creatively use the power of shadows. Perhaps you too can attempt to do something creative in a similar way.

http://tinyurl.com/m25ywpo

http://tinyurl.com/mkd8bd5

 Identify two special qualities that endear the following people to you

  • Your parents/ siblings / a special family member
  • Your two best friends
  • Your two favorite teachers / bosses / colleagues
  • Your favorite animal or bird

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Family tree…

40-family-treeThe Christmas season is fast approaching and that is a time when most times families, particularly in countries that celebrate Christmas get together to bond and renew ties. Equivalent festivities are definitely present in various other countries and cultures too. So what is common to all these festivities?  It is a time when we realize how each person has evolved and found his/ her own path in life and chalked out their destiny. What makes the season special is also the fact that gifts are exchanged, which means each gift is thoughtfully selected for the person to whom we gift it. It is also a time for fun and bonding, a time to reminisce and a time to realize how each one has grown and yet remained rooted.

This is a good time to have a re-look at our own family tree.

Branching out – The individuality of people, the paths they tread and the way each one evolves is reflected in the way one branches out and chalks out one’s own destiny. The beauty of this branching out is that it helps people evolve, it is the blooming of the child into maturity and it is the culmination of how one attempts to give expression to ones dreams, hopes and aspirations. Some are fortunate to have a smooth passage with encouragement and relatively easy success paving the way. However, for many, branching out is a challenge. There are parental expectations, personal weakness and conflicting alternatives that we need to overcome, before we reach stability in personal and professional life.

Remaining rooted –Branching out happens because we have our individualistic thoughts, dreams, passions and abilities that are different from the other family members.  However, what gives us identify apart from our own achievements are the family ties that bind us, the support system they represent, the commonality of emotions that draws us close to each other. We can fondly reminisce about the good old days; go through the ecstatic and most depressing moments together, feeling it as one. It is also the bond that makes us come together for a joyous celebrations like weddings in the family or a significant birthday of a loved one and it is also the same bond that enables us to be present during traumatic moments of our extended family  be it a an accident or a death. Our roots bind us together for we are all nourished by the same love that runs through our branches, leaves and fruits.

Growing – For a tree to become a tree, it is essential that both its roots and its branches grow healthy and strong. The same holds true for a family. So while the individuality will help one find his/ her own future and destiny, it is the bond with the family and extended family that provides one with values, culture and nourishment through support in testing times. If the roots are strong, the tree will always grow and flourish and a family that is grounded in good values, culture and close bonds would be the same too. Give space to individuals to bloom and flower and keep them close so that they continue to be nourished by the bonds that tie one another.

Try these:

  • Make a family tree and share it with the extended family.
  • Hold family reunions to ensure there are more meetings and interactions especially between the younger members of the family.
  • Share interesting tidbits of family members who have some remarkable achievements/ talents / success so that others can be proud of them and also benefit from their success.
  • Surprise a family member with a surprise gift on a significant occasion for the person.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com