Category: Troubles

Confronting difficulties

In time of difficulties, we must not lose sight of our achievements. Mao Tse-Tung

Difficulties are found in every walk of life be it in personal life, in the work environment, in the family, in business, in sports, in social communications etc. Obviously in an ideal world, we would hate to be faced with difficulties because it impedes our progress, causes disruption and challenges us to overcome it with a real risk of failure looming large. Yet with resourcefulness, ingenuity, grit and persistence more often than not we have overcome many a difficulty and perhaps occasionally also experienced a few bruises in the process. We would also have painful recollections of failures, discouragement, frustration, shame and pain when the difficulties could not be overcome. Yet if you are still reading this, it clearly means that no obstacle or difficulty could defeat you permanently and that is a very encouraging thought.

Despite this realization, we tend to get dispirited, frustrated and are often tempted to throw in the towel when some difficulties seem unreasonable, grossly unjust and we lack the temperament to fight our way through. Here are three facts about difficulties that we must bear in mind at all times.

  • We cannot avoid difficulties
  • We can plan to mitigate the possible difficulties that we can visualize
  • Every difficulty that comes our way can be dealt with; however success is not guaranteed but if we do nothing failure is certain.

With the above reality kept in mind we can tackle every difficulty that comes our way with equanimity and hope. Since we are sure that we cannot avoid difficulties, the first thing we need to do is accept the difficulties when it comes with faith in ourselves and hope in finding a solution. The numerous successes that we have had in tackling past difficulties will give us both the faith and hope needed to sustain when things look bleak and one is desperately searching for the silver lining in the dark clouds.

We walk into a large number of difficulties simply because we do not anticipate them. The major reason for this is a lackadaisical attitude, inept planning and false bravado. Casualness in handling a task means we are leaving too many loose ends that could bring about a variety of difficulties. Inept planning can be overcome by brain storming, ideating, imagination and a structured approach to any task on hand. This involves not merely thinking about an issue but enumerating the solution in writing and then assigning responsibilities with clear directions, deadlines and goals. Such planning must also make allowances for changes and alternatives must be kept ready for implementation. The reality is that even the best of plans can be devastated by the unexpected, unforeseen and unimaginable difficulties. A sense of false bravado often results in one plunging headlong into finding solutions when the reality is that one needs expert advice, the help of experienced personnel and perhaps the courage of conviction to change the course of action when the progress is certainly doomed in the original direction planned.

Many a failure experienced when confronted with difficulties, is merely because a lack of self belief or the exact opposite a stubborn mule like tendency to chase the impossible. Lack of self belief comes from lack of adequate knowledge, poor self esteem, an exaggerated fear of failure and stunted thinking that limits self belief. The stubbornness that each of us has in varying degrees is primarily the result of EGO and partly the outcome of ignorance, foolhardiness and the mistaken notion that giving up is equivalent to failure. The challenge then is to master the difficulty of accepting the reality that whispers aloud to us and says go on you can do it or when it says stop killing yourself pursuing the impossible. When the former whispers loudly then take a good look at the quote below and when the latter whispers louder than ponder on the quote at the very top.

Remember:  Difficulties mastered are opportunities won. Winston Churchill

Try this:

  1. How will you tackle the following difficulties?
  • You have borrowed your friend’s costly new mobile handset and have misplaced it.
  • You have studied hard for your exams. When the question paper is handed over to you, you are shocked to see the question paper of the subject that you had not anticipated. You then realize that unfortunately due to an error in jotting down the exam schedule, you studied the subject for the examination to be held a day later.
  • You are in a new city and suddenly realize that you have been robbed of your purse and mobile. With no know person in the city and no money you are badly stuck.
  1. The challenge / difficulty in this puzzle is to link all 9 dots (shown below) using four straight lines or fewer, without lifting the pen and without tracing the same line more than once.

 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

How to ignite the spirit of courage

“When you have no choice, mobilize the spirit of courage” Jewish Proverb

When we look around us there are times when we feel dispirited, disheartened and deflated and it just gets worse when there are many others like that around us. We are then left wondering if there is any hope for us and if life has anything meaningful t to offer us. These are times when we wished we didn’t have to go through this painful and apparently hopeless process. No matter who one is, no matter how rich and powerful, no matter how intelligent or smart one is, low points in life will always be a part of living. Death is one low point that is a great leveler and is the one common denominator of sadness, pain and hopelessness that binds all living beings.

The average human being is often commonly plagued by the lows that follow death of a loved one,  fear of failure and worry about the future. Death is a reality that we must make peace with and accept with equanimity. It spares none and can come most unexpectedly. While affection and love will always tug at the heart and trigger emotions of various hues we need to pick up the pieces and get back on track at the earliest. Since human beings cannot remain isolated, unemotional or unaffected one would need to delve into the personal resources of rationale, courage and acceptance which would form the foundation of the spirit of courage that will pull us out of the quagmire of grief.

Fear of failure is omnipresent too. No one can ride on past success for each one of us has to script a new success story everyday. Ironically, the fear of failure is just as prevalent amongst the rich as much as it is prevalent amongst the poor, it is found in equal measure amongst both the brilliant and those who are below average and spares neither the urban population nor the rural folks. Since we cannot insulate ourselves from this fear the next best thing we can do is to ensure that fear of failure does not overwhelm us. Self belief is the key to open the doors of courage. Resilience and hard work provide the steps to the ladder of success.  It also helps to be planned, prepared and persistent for then we would be better equipped to face failure without hurting ourselves too much in the process.

Since the future is the unknown that is both a mystery and an opportunity rather than view it with trepidation, we must look at it in anticipation. View the future like a hand of cards dealt by the dealer when playing a game of bridge or poker. It is only once we have the cards that we can play the game.  Just as we look forward with anticipation eager to know the hidden cards, which if it is a poor hand we fold and wait for the next game, so too must we see each day. Patience, hope and the daring to take calculated risks be it in playing or packing up are the mantras to muster courage and fire up the spirit. Fearing the future is perhaps the most passive and sure fire way to lose ones way in the maze called life. Instead anticipate the changes, prepare for it and plod into it with gusto and presto we discover the truth ‘that life is an adventure to be lived not a mystery to solved.’

Remember:  “Pure logic is the ruin of the spirit.”  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Try this:

  1. Here is a wonderful link to the Video titled the Last Lecture by Randy Pausch http://tinyurl.com/2z3wsx  ( Do you think you can manage something like what he did under similar circumstances? If your answer is yes…go on attempt to write your own epitaph)
  2. Here are a few realities of life. How do you visualize each of them
  • Monthly bills to be paid
  • Some illness in the family
  • Some celebrations that occur
  • An unexpected surprise or shock
  • Retirement
  • Alzheimer’s disease
  • Winning a lottery/ inheritance/ gift/ an award

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

The secret to a happy marriage

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. George Levinger

Strange as it may sound, the theory of opposites attract as is proven by magnets is perhaps just as applicable in marriages. The genesis of the marriage could be anything from love marriages to arranged marriages or marriages of convenience as would perhaps happen when a divorcee marries another divorcee or   a widower marries a widow ;  the focus though  is often on how compatible the couple is and we mistakenly believe that compatibility will cement the relationship. Compatibility certainly plays a vital part in getting a couple together else there would be no commonality of interest/ purpose/ objective/feelings. However compatibility does not really address the reality that surfaces after the courtship and honeymoon, that of the individuality of the partners that manifests itself in differences, disagreements, opposing style and personality traits  and even in completely divergent expectations and behavior.

The real issues in marriage often surface soon after marriage but the emotions of love, tenderness, joy and the eagerness to please the partner and respective families and friends camouflage the differences that may have crept in. In many ways the earlier the differences come to the fore the individuality of partners becomes more obvious and enables the couple to find ways and means of handling it using all the positive emotions and by suppressing ones ego and making adjustments. There is no doubt that in this process each partner also does sacrifice a part of his/ her individuality and adapts and adjusts to the demands of married life. The good part is that we get used to the adjustments early on and so the process is easier than unlearning and relearning which is tedious, painstaking and above all a major psychological hurdle to cross. To explain, if one partner is obsessed with brushing the teeth before going to bed and the other couldn’t care less the earlier they adjust to the reality by either accepting each one’s differences or one of them adjusting to the others pet peeve it won’t be long before the issue becomes a major bone of contention in a temperamental married life.

It is essential to accept the fact that when we express our individuality there would be a hugely disproportionate number of differences that come to the fore. While many of these could be insignificant it is the serious differences that could often mar an otherwise harmonious marriage. It is equally possible that the differences small or big get to be more frequent, more stressful and more acrimonious and that is when the strain of living together comes to the fore. The chief culprit that actually stretches the relationship to breaking point is often cited as incompatibility but this is just a pseudonym for intolerance, ego hassles, inflexibility, bickering and nagging not to mention finger pointing and possibly culminating in use of vile and abusive language tone and threats. If one can manage to bridge the differences that crop up in a relationship through a combination of understanding, give and take, acceptance, adjustments, sacrifices, forgiveness and unconditional love, handling incompatibility would never pose a problem ; ask those couples who tenderly hold hands even when they squabble, have a love tinged mischievous smile when then poke fun at their other half and revel in the affection of their partner and display both concern and pain when the other is suffering. The vows of marriage when the couple get married offer a clear clue to the incompatibility that is central to marriage when they  vow to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us par.

Remember : “More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” Doug Larson

Try this:

  1. If you are married outline the 3 most annoying traits in your spouse that you never realized before marriage. In the same breath also jot down 3 wonderful traits that your spouse has that really surprised and elated which you never knew before marriage. If unmarried, list 3 traits that you would hate to have in your future spouse and 3 traits that you hope he/she will have.
  2. Identify 3 ideal couples known personally to you (other than your own family members)who have been married for  less than 5 years, married for 5-10 years and 20-25 years. Why do you think they are an ideal couple? Is there some trait that you can emulate in your relationship now or in the future?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

 

Make no mistake…

Intelligence is not to make no mistakes, but quickly to see how to make them good. Bertolt Brecht

Observe a tiny tot making his/her first move to becoming a toddler. It would first attempt to stand and promptly fall for it lacks the balance and the strength in the legs. Yet the natural urge to get up and be independent will stimulate the tiny one to keep pegging away despite many a futile attempt. At this point the concept of failure and mistakes is alien to the little one and that helps the little ones have no inhibitions or apprehensions.

As one grows up we acquire many a skill and knowledge and with it the concept of success and failure, right and wrong, possibilities and impossibilities, truth and fiction etc. In this process making mistakes is often severely punished and kudos liberally given to those who do not make mistakes and they are considered intelligent. As a result the average person tries hard not to fail and make mistakes and therefore avoid anything that hints at failure. Yet ironically no invention or discovery or noteworthy contribution of the human race has ever been error free or perfect in the first attempt. This brings us to a notable reality that success is in harnessing ones intelligence to pursue ones dreams against all odds and achieve it.

Mistakes could be due to a number of reasons from overlooking the obvious to complete misjudgment is one such spectrum. It could also be due to carelessness, misunderstanding, inefficiency and /or wrong assumptions.  The net result though is that the end result we seek is not achieved thereby implying failure which in turn leads us to question our own competence and intelligence. Yet for those who believe in themselves, the mistakes are merely a pointer to the elimination of a failed possibility thus offering us the opportunity to pursue another line of thinking by harnessing our intelligence.

Creativity and logic form the axis around which intelligence revolves. Memory, quick thinking, number crunching and reasoning polish up the shine of intelligence. However, intelligence unless harnessed and utilized remains just an adjective but mistakes provide the perfect opportunity to translate it into an active verb. Real intelligence is in also recognizing that even the most perfect person is bound to make a mistake and that despite that one can attain unparalleled success if one were to relook the mistake and make the corrections. It is said that Jesus Christ got 1 out of 12 decisions wrong when he chose Judas to be one of his 12 disciples because ultimately he betrayed Christ.

Remember: “Knowing a great deal is not the same as being smart; intelligence is not information alone but also judgment, the manner in which information is collected and used”  Dr. Carl Sagan

Try this:

  1. Jot down the 3 biggest mistakes of your life. Were you solely responsible for each of those mistakes? If yes does the consequence of the mistake still rankle you? What was the learning from each of these mistakes?
  2. Assuming that you made all the three mistakes mentioned below which of these would you want to correct first if you had an opportunity to do so?  Why have you chosen that option?
  • You could not give your exams due to poor attendance and therefore lost an academic year.
  • Your drove your car in pouring rain with the driver’s side wiper not working and as a result banged into a care ahead of you which braked suddenly. The other car was damaged badly and the driver of that car had to be hospitalized.
  • You broke up with your partner over a minor misunderstanding and are not on talking terms simply because you want your partner to apologize first.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Acknowledge limitations to learn and grow

The person with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection. Johann von Goethe

As human beings we are all prone to make mistakes, tend to stray from the acceptable norms and succumb to our personal limitations and weaknesses.  Some mistakes could be trifles like overlooking the niceties in a social situation, others could be more severe like not discharging our critical duties and some could be out right dangerous and fateful like drinking and driving. The reality is that at some point or the other we are prone to fall prey to any or all of these traps and usually we try and rationalize our faults instead of acknowledging our mistake. It our reluctance to stand up and accept our faults that is often the worst of our faults for then we compound our error and worse still miss out on an opportunity to correct our faults and redeem our self.

By admitting our limitations, we are doing ourselves 3 favors.

  • We consciously realize our fault.
  • We are able to then take steps to correct our faults and learn from our mistakes.
  • We grow through our strength of character, reinforced self belief and improved abilities.

By admitting our faults, we are acknowledging the fact that we are conscious of what we do, we are aware of what the norms are and that we have realized that we have violated those norms. Many a time, making this admission is difficult because we may have to end up paying a heavy price for our faults. We also are open to being branded as inefficient, irresponsible and incompetent. What we fail to appreciate though is that a fault can be corrected only if we realize that it is a fault. Then we can get guidance, seek out ways to rectify and in the long run ensure that we have learnt and reduce our chances of repeating the fault. By refusing to acknowledge our faults we are merely falling into following the wrong practices, run the risk of making more gross mistakes and definitely increasing our chances of failure.

By admitting our fault we display our strength of character that we would rather be honest and be branded ineffective than lie and run the risk of being caught in an even more embarrassing position. Our character is further strengthened by our willing acceptance of the consequences of our admission of fault.  The moment we admit our fault, we are telling ourselves that we have it in us to overcome the set back and bounce back. This is the reinforcement of our self belief. Self belief comes from a pragmatic evaluation, oodles of confidence and a steely resolve. Finally when we learn from our faults, we are actually participating in a process of self development which ultimately leads to improvement in our abilities and talents. The star athletes and sports men would readily testify to the vital role their coaches’ play in correcting their technique by first critically evaluating the performance and then making the much needed corrections. Strange as it may seem, at the peak of their careers many an athlete has relied on the insightful observation and good counsel of their coaches to turn out superlative performances.

Remember: “Genius has limitations; stupidity is boundless

Try this:

  1. The annual appraisals for employees / the customer feedback forms/ the complaints made by clients are good indicators of third party perceptions about faults. Ask if we tend to constantly refute it, rationalize it, dismiss it casually or simply refuse to acknowledge it.  On the other hand those who take this feedback seriously will invariably use the feedback to alter their style, improve their work ethics, investigate the core issue etc. and in the long run change for the better.
  2. Can we list out and acknowledge 3 of our faults for the following spheres of our life
  • Our family life
  • Our personal life
  • Our professional life
  • Our social life
  • Our lifestyle

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

The futility of worrying

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength. A.J. Cronin

Strange as it may seem, many of us worry because the pain of worry seems to offer an axis around which one can go in circles and feel that we have actually done our bit to stem the tide. Unfortunately we fail to realize that in the process we have expended our energies, have not really changed the reality that stares at us and if anything we have just compounded our worries by wasting the present moment.  Assume we have an exam coming up and we have squandered away our time. Suddenly the reality of the exam date looms ominously ahead and instead of at least attempting to salvage the situation if we panic and brood and worry about our performance and fate, we would only have made a bad situation worse.

To cope with worry, we need to see the bright side of a hopeless situation and the get busy with our work today. Both these are tough especially when the Damocles sword of an impending worry is looming over our head. Seeing the bright side of a hopeless situation is a paradox in itself because hopelessness means a dark and bitter reality ahead. The brightest aspect of it is that at some point it will be over and done with. There could be other small but significant happenings like someone in dire pain lapsing into a comma where there will be no pain or failure helping one to switch tracks a decision which we longed for but didn’t dare to take. The key is to find straws of hope to clutch on to without turning those straws into steel ropes to latch on to and clamber out. One worry that is hard to overcome is the ‘what only if ‘syndrome. Take the case of a student who loses his rank by one mark. He/she can keep ruing that one silly mistake or the one question not studied well but the reality will not change. Or take the case of a person who is on the final question of ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ and chances his. her luck and fails.

If we can see the bright side of the future and to that extend minimize our worries, then we need to turn our focus on keeping busy. This is not to say one needs to engage in worthless and futile work rather one has to divert our positive energies into ensuring that w do our current jobs well. By being busy, our mind is occupied and will not stray and catch the worry bug.  At the same time, we would achieve some of our personal and professional goals, have no regrets about wasting our time and efforts and the net result is that we remain fit and agile. Where we really stumble is when do a tardy job, turn out shoddy work and pass the blame on to our worries and anxieties.  In the lexicon of the brave and the pragmatic person, today is what counts for the opportunities and the time will never come again no matter what the reality will be tomorrow.  Ask if we can we be concerned about the problem rather than worry about it?

Remember: There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” Harold Stephens

Try this:

  1. Make a list of 10 worries and assign 100 marks to be distribute amongst those worries with the highest marks going to the worry that we are most anxious about. Focus on the top three worries and orient yourself to be concerned about finding a solution.
  2. Ask yourself if more than 3 of the following traits are frequently exhibited by you, for then that shows signs of a person who worries too much.
  • Frequent negative thoughts
  • Constantly complaining, cribbing, whining
  • Do you get easily angry and enraged?
  • At the first signs of uneasiness do you consult a doctor?
  • Are you obsessed about things eg. Children’s exam marks/ punctuality/ neatness / rituals
  • Do you hate it when your carefully laid plans go awry and your schedule is upset?
  • In a crowd if the focus of attention suddenly shifts to you  do you feel very foolish/ sheepish/ disturbed/ irritated ?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Our rights vs our interests

A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights. Napoleon Bonaparte

As a citizen of a democratic nation each one of us has the right to exercise his/ her franchise and vote in the elections. How many of us have diligently used this right without giving any excuses and voted responsibly? Similarly those eligible for pension are expected to personally go and collect their pension each month. Most of those eligible for pension are old and suffer from various ailments but their family members ensure that they are dutiful taken on the respective dates to collect the pension but the same people may not honor the wishes of these elder people to cast their vote during the elections. This might seem like a bizarre example but it clearly illustrates the stark reality and the naked truth about the approach of people with respect to their rights and their interests.

There is the inherent selfishness that governs the approach of most people to focus on their interests because they are directly affected by it. Rights on the other hand are conferred on us and we have the option to use it as and when we want though the underlying principle of the right is to empower the person to exercise his/ her right for both personal good but largely for the public good. Take the case of people at a railway platform. They have the right to take a platform ticket and avail of the facilities on the platform including using the benches put there to sit on it. While the honest citizen will diligently follow it, the unscrupulous ones will try to hoodwink the authorities and yet claim their right to the seats on the benches. Even more uncouth is the tendency of people to occupy one seat and use the other seat to keep their luggage on lest the luggage get soiled when kept on the floor or it is used to ensure personal privacy by not allowing another to sit on the adjacent seat.

Many of us may have observed the above happenings from afar but may never be directly concerned with such episodes and so we may have a smug feeling of relief that we are not guilty of such tendencies and that we will sacrifice our interests when we have to chose between our rights and our interests. The unfortunate reality is that each one of us is guilty of the crime of being self centered and selfish enough to put our personal interest far ahead of our rights. The most classic case is the fine line that distinguishes between avoiding paying taxes and evading taxes. We have the legitimate right to avoid paying taxes by utilizing the provisions of the law legitimately. Yet when we it comes to our own taxes if we perceive it to be still exorbitant, we would resort to conveniently interpreting the law, perhaps indulge in some dubious means to asses our taxes or simply fudge the returns with the ultimate aim of minimizing the tax burden.

On a more macro level, we as citizens are also guilty of being mute witnesses and turning a blind eye to despicable practices like the use of child labor ( denying them the right to freedom and education), cruelty to animals ( illegal use for animal testing of drugs being the biggest culprit), disparity in wage structure between women and men, denying fair wages to the marginalized and downtrodden  etc.  It is not that we practice it, but our refusal to stand up for their rights that makes us party to the crime of being focused on our interests without exercising our rights.

Remember: “Interest makes some people blind, and others quick-sighted”  Francis Beaumon

Try this:

  1. List out 3 of your pet social causes.  Now that you are interested in them outline how you will exercise your rights to ensure that you play an active role in making the social causes fructify and deliver results.
  2. Assuming you have the time and the inclination to use the Right To Information act (RTI), make a list of causes, public interest matters, areas of concern in which you would possibly use the act. What prevents you from invoking the provisions of the act for public good?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

When troubles simmer…

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can’t cure. Ogden Nash

If we pause for a moment we would realize that in a sense each of us is rich when compared to the vast majority around and yet we keep bitterly  complaining about the numerous troubles that we are confronted with daily. On closer examination we would realize that the troubles we complain about are mostly the ones that we cannot handle despite us being financial well off mainly because they concern issues that cannot be solved by money alone. For most of us, our troubles broadly fall into three categories – personal problems, relationship issues and irrational worry. In all three cases the common theme is that we as individuals are the cause and hold the solution to the problems.

Personal problems could include financial issues too but mainly relate to matters concerning our personality, our lifestyle, our work and our happiness quotient.  Far too many of us have low self esteem which means that we are not comfortable with our own physical appearance, social status and our general environment. We go around believing we are short changed by fate and that but for cruel circumstances we should have been destined for greater glory. This though process extends to our dress sense, our living conditions, the food habits and then percolates to our job contents, our responsibilities at work and occasionally we even question our choice of work place. Obviously with this kind of a negative mindset and constant walloping in problems both real and imagined we do not see any happiness in our life nor do we hope to enjoy our life thereby inviting and enduring troubles that could have been largely overcome by a rational thought process and a positive focus.

Just as we make friends with people we also end up disliking a large number of people, avoid an equal number and simply hate a few. That apart we have misunderstandings, we suspect many, we are ill at ease with some and when we fall out with people for whatever reason we carry both a grudge and hope to extract revenge. Under the circumstances the troubles that we invite in our relationships through our often unreasonable expectations and occasionally mistaken beliefs cannot be solved by our money but only by our own proactive initiative and by subduing our ego. Unfortunately, the mind does not forget easily, the heart does not forgive quickly and the ego tends to seek retribution; net result is that we remain unhappy and troubled all the while.

The biggest problem though is worry. Most times the worries are completely irrational and the product of a paranoid environment in which we live. Right from fears of getting mugged to being killed in accidents, we worry about suffering from cancer and life style disease like heart attacks. We worry about job security, the future of our kids, the collapse of the economy and its effects on us, the terrible consequences of nuclear warfare etc. The reality is that theoretically each of them has a possibility of affecting us but the probability is so minuscule that even remotely thinking of them is aggravating worry and adding to our troubles.  Notice that our irrational worries too cannot be solved by money alone.

Remember: “The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds.”  Nancy Witcher Astor, Viscountess

Try this:

  1. Read up on the post on Why Worry by clicking on this link https://actspot.wordpress.com/2010/12/31/why-worry-2/
  2. Make a huge list of all your worries that troubled you last year. Now examine each one and see how many of them came true. If the vast majority didn’t come true then ask yourself was it worth worrying about?  Now just list 5 of your major worries for the coming years.  Examine them rationally and assign each a probability of occurrence. For this year worry only about the 2 troubles/ worries that have the highest probability assigned. Also work on finding solutions to mitigate those troubles.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Why worry?

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due. William Ralph Inge

Anything that disturbs our equilibrium, will pressurize us, make us anxious and continue to be an irritant that constantly nags and worries us. It could be as simple as awaiting ones exam results or it could be more life altering as awaiting the diagnosis of a biopsy report or it could be trivial issues like not being able to find a matching pair of socks or a clean handkerchief. While there would be many reading this post who would discount all the above examples as not relevant to them, it would help to just pause and reflect on our pet peeves and irritants that get us worried so often.

Interestingly, if we are honest to ourselves and study the actual happenings which initially got us worried, we would notice that barring rare exceptions most of our worries were ill conceived and completely misplaced. This brings us to an important lesson in life; that most worries never come true or happen in reality. The reason we keep worrying could possibly be explained by our parental guidance to be well prepare for all eventualities. As a consequence we have honed the skill of anticipating problems and troubles, working out alternatives to combat the perceived problem and thereafter worry that every alternative has a limitation. The irony is that originally perceived problem morphs into a myriad of subsidiary niggles each of which keeps pricking us and disturbing our peace of mind.

When seen from a different perspective, worry is simply hoarding a lot of useless stuff in the hope that it will prove useful when the time comes. Alas, this is like accumulating a sack full of salt, when all we need is a pinch of it. The excess baggage weighs us down, preoccupies us and diverts one from focusing on the more practical and meaningful activities that should ideally be our priority. Another angle to understand the futility of worrying is to see it as an off shoot of a poor me syndrome. Here we condition ourselves to believe we are in pain, in trouble, in dire straits and are constantly seeking the attention and sympathy of those around. Worry manifests itself as a bait to lure those around into paying attention, offering their support and fawning over the worrier.

The consequences of worry are what should really worry us; it affects our health, our psychology, our relationships and completely disrupts our personal, social and professional life. Ranging from sleeplessness, our worries create anxiety, panic and could end up with depression and other psychosomatic illness. What is more subtle is the elaborate process of denial that we are worrying. More often than not we have the urge to portray a happy and contented personality for the world at large while deep inside our heart and mind are progressively being weakened by our inability to eliminate, accept or confront our worries. The realization that our worries are best confronted when they really come true will help us build up the ability to reduce our anxiety, temper our fears and seek positives in perceived problems.

Remember: Don’t trouble troubles till troubles trouble you.

Try this:

  1.  Think of what would be the main worries of the following people and analyze if their worries are justified. Also try to group the worries in order of seriousness as perceived by you.
  • A chief executive of a company
  • A solider on the battle front A student who gets average marks despite working hard 
  • Parents of mentally or physically challenged children
  • An unwed mother.
  1. Check if you suffer from the following symptoms of excessive worry
  • Less sleep or restless sleep Bouts of anxiety and depression.
  • Constant negative thinking.
  • Unexplained fears Feelings of jealousy/ envy

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Give and receive

It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35

One of the problems that we humans constantly battle is our urge to want more and more. We crave to have more wealth, more power, more freedom and more happiness. More often than not, it is a losing battle because we are unable to overcome our cravings but then we work out a compromise to subdue our conscience that pricks us; we give charity, we donate and we even make an attempt to participate in some activity of those working for the poor, the destitute, the old and aged, the orphans, the mentally challenged etc. However our efforts are miniscule as compared to the riches we amass, hoard and fritter away when we need to make a show of pomp or piety. Often we gather ill gotten wealth and we then double our efforts to part with a sizeable chunk of it for an apparently worthy cause. The true intentions are to lighten the burden on our conscience and hopefully get some divine intercessions too in the long run.

On the other hand if we seek out the riches of those who are genuinely happy and contented we make the interesting discovery that they are far from materialistically rich but surprisingly seem to be abundantly blessed in many other ways.  To begin with they are joyful, they also seem to be contented and most of all they seem to take pleasure in giving freely and abundantly to all those who need. We are unable to comprehend how those who are apparently just about making two ends meet by our standards, can be so generous. The answer to that lies in the mental makeup of those who give in abundance. They do not worry too much about their long term own requirements, they have deep faith in being taken care of by some divine or supernatural means and most of all they feel they have a duty a mission and an obligation to those who less privileged, weaker and needier.

It is said that what goes around comes around. This is very true and we would have personally experienced that we have got some help form the most unexpected quarters at a time when we had almost lost all hope. This brings us to another point that we do not consider when we talking about giving and that is to give off our time, our efforts and our talents.  If we have the wealth and money we are generous with giving a small part of it. We may also often give away what is not useful for us or what we do not require like old clothes, toys, books etc. What is really in short supply is the human touch that our brethren seek. Human beings need human company, they require the warmth of human touch, the love spread through our voice and actions and they crave for attention and love. No amount of money can buy any of these. We need to appreciate that real giving is in giving what we value most; our time and our self.

Remember: “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” Kahlil Gibran

Try this:

  1. Outline a plan of action to ensure that you give at least 3 -5 hours of your time in a month with either the poor, the aged, the infirm, the orphans or the challenged.
  2. Can you initiate action to coordinate and motivate people to contribute a small mite for some charity? Ideal you should be able to also motivate the contributors to play a more active role in ensuring that their contributions are well utilized by not just donating but also participating in at least one activity of the charity.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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