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Posts Tagged ‘accept’

33- 10 Sept 17- Two types of painEach of us must have experienced both forms of pain at various points in our life. The pain that hurts us can be physical pain or psychological pain. Physical pain, unless it is a permanent pain, is often forgotten once we are physically healed. The psychological pain on the other hand tends to remain with us for a much longer time, perhaps in some cases even lifelong. The trauma of pain that hurts is now better managed by medication, counseling and therapy, yet the experience often leaves an individual  scarred, bitter at times and definitely wary of going through the agony once again.

The same pain that we experience be it physical or psychological, can be channelized by every individual by using the right attitude and thinking to become a life changing experience. Not just life changing for the individual but also life changing for the people around, the circle of influence we can reach out to. The very essence of pain management is an excellent example of it. It is the result of years of experimentation and research done by individuals who dealt with people in pain and decided to reach out to alleviate the pain of such people. However, although most of us as individuals may not have the technical expertise to do the same, each of us can develop the right attitude and thinking to change our approach to managing our pain as well as the pain of those around us.

Accept what cannot be changed This is the toughest part of managing pain. Embracing the inevitable, making peace with the reality and looking at pain from the prism of positivity would enable an individual to accept the unchangeable faster and more whole heartedly. Death of a loved one, the loss of a limb or a physical transformation due to an accident or having an incurable disease like MND would require the individual to accept the reality that life is altered forever. Once an individual makes peace with this reality, reorienting the thinking is a relatively easier process.

Channelize your pain to transform your life – Be it your pain or you being a part of another’s pain would always impact your life. If a close friend or family member is in any type of pain, it impacts you also. You need to channelize the pain into seeing it as a way to learn some lessons be it reorienting your thinking or being made aware of people who you took for granted as being more dependable or finding your hidden reservoir of strength to mange yourself.

Empathize with those in pain – Be there for people who are in pain. Comfort them by your understanding, presence and patience. Divert their minds to pleasant thoughts, beautiful memories of the past and give them hope. Let them know that you share their suffering and that you would like to share their burden. Understanding the trauma of those in the throes of psychological pain is very tough because we tend to use logic or rationalize it. However, emotions run a lot deeper and they remain simmering within the individual. It is essential that those around try and draw the person out of his/ her trauma, reassure them of getting their life back on track and show them hope in the future. This can dull the pain, the fear and inject in them a strong desire to make a stronger comeback.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional – This is the mantra that each one should adopt and share. Each of us will experience a variety of pain in varying degrees. We need to quickly get to grips with it and try to mitigate it by dwelling less on the suffering and instead focusing on how it is changing you to become stronger, more resilient and helping you discover your inner strength.

Try these

  1. List out 5 activities that give you maximum pain. The challenge is to confront each of them and to jot down the learning from it each time you confronted it.
  2. Attempt one or more of the following:
  • Visit an elderly / lonely neighbor once a week
  • Go to the local hospital and ask the social worker how you can help out
  • You can also visit a hospice or old age home or a home for the challenged
  • Visit a nearby park and notice people who seem alone/ lonely. See if you can strike a conversation with them and bring a smile to their face.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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13-3-Let your life reflect the beauty in you

By nature many of us tend to be modest and undervalue ourselves, possibly fearing that we would be branded egoistic. Then there are others who strut around displaying their brawn or brain or wealth partly to impress others but often to overcome some other shortcoming in them.  Of course there are many others who live an indifferent life, yearning to make an impact in the society they live in and hoping they get noticed. In reality, the world values and respects anyone who behaves, acts and demonstrates humane qualities, exemplary behavior and a sense of responsibility. This is perhaps the simplest and most natural way a normal human being should ideally respond, for each of us is born with the a multitude of virtues be it innocence, honesty, empathy, happiness and love.

Unfortunately the vices of the world, the pressures of survival and the craving to amass superimpose in our original self the artificiality of being worldly wise, attempting to be clever by half, walking the tight rope between reality and illusion and seeking self gratification at any cost. The once radiant self, the childlike innocence, the core values in us dissipate against the onslaught of the pressure to conform to the emerging standards of the society and environment around us. This change for the worse is reflected in our inability to be at peace with ourselves, our constant suspicion and apprehension of the world around us and our disgust, dislike and disapproval of people, circumstances and happenings around us.

Yet despite this gloomy and glum scenario, there is hope; hope that is well within your abilities and grasp; all it needs is YOU for you are the mirror that reflect backs what everyone else sees. Here are a few virtues which you can nurture and nourish to ensure that you live and reflect hope, harmony and   happiness where ever you are.

Smile. There is nothing so simple as smiling when your are happy, when you are at peace, when you want to lighten the mood, when you want to reach out to another, when you want to overlook and aberration by another, when the troubles seem overwhelming and when you want to experience bliss.  A smile relives the tensions, helps connect with another and gets others to experience your joy.

Respond. Reach out proactively, do something spontaneously, make things happen, take the lead, stand up to be counted, speak up to be heard, stand by a friend in trouble, confront the wrong doer, restrain your anger, realize your potential.

Give. Giving your time is perhaps the most challenging of all the gifts that you can give. Give unconditionally, give it free and give with grace be it time, money or love.

Accept. Accept with grace you faults, your mistakes, your limitations, the negative feedback and your punishments. More importantly accept your family, friends and colleagues as an extension of yourself, with all the limitations and imperfections that you have accepted of yourself.

Forgive. First learn to forgive yourself and get rid of the guilt of your past shortcomings, failings, mistakes and aberrations. Thereafter open your heart to those who have wronged you and forgive them their indiscretions and willful hurt they may have caused.

Love. If we have been stingy with this emotion, it is time we realized that this is one emotion that you will never run short of. Love yourself first, then those around, then go on to love your life as it exists, love the circumstances in which you are and love the miracle called life. Within those 4 alphabets lies the universal secret, that where there is LOVE Life Opens Virtuous Emotions.

Try this :

  1. For each of the 6 virtues enumerated above, outline one or two situations or people where you would find it extremely difficult to respond with the relevant virtue. Ask yourself if it is your ego that is the barrier or the hurt is too extensive or you fear a sense of defeat if you respond with a positive emotion?
  2. How would you relate/ respond/ react to the following
  • You are asked to identify a robber who has waylaid you and trashed you when robbing you.
  • You meet a former tyrannical boss who you feel has derailed your career at a social function.
  • You run into a former intimate friend with whom you had a bitter parting.
  • You meet a former teacher, who had mistakenly accused you of copying in an exam as a result of which your reputation took a severe beating.
  • During a family picnic you are forced to travel with a cousin in his/ her car whom you had accused of damaging your sports gear because of  which you and your cousin stopped talking years ago.
  • You bump into an old colleague at the city hospital who had borrowed a few thousand rupees for an emergency and who thereafter left your organization and never got in touch with you to return the money

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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