Tag: acceptance

Uncertainty has one certainty

19- 23 July 15-Uncertainty has one certainty - possibiltiesLike change, that is a constant in our life, uncertainty is niggle that will never go. Each moment of our life, we are constantly processing fresh inputs and each input brings with it fresh perspectives for us to mull on. The human mind is largely programmed to preserve, protect and pre-empt threats and dangers and hence, every input we get is filtered through the lens of self preservation. As a result, uncertainty brings with it a sense of dread, fear and worries, which threaten to overshadow the one certainty that it offers – infinite possibilities. Once we accept that uncertainty will be a lifelong companion, then it is possible for us to see it as a shadow, that seems to lurk but is never threatening. That is when we learn to face the sun, put the shadow behind us and see the overpowering light of possibilities ahead of us.

Here are some ways of visualizing possibilities that can be leveraged to make life more interesting, happy and fulfilling.

Think positive – Since self preservation is a natural instinct in us, we have developed our senses to anticipate trouble as being equal to uncertainty ahead. As a result we always scan the future for trouble, difficulties, negativities and danger. While it is essential that we plan for any future eventualities, that should not be the fulcrum around which our life should revolve. Look ahead with anticipation, move ahead with confidence; don’t let a few hurdles stop you from proceeding ahead. The trick is to set your goals high and to visualize yourself setting out on an adventure towards that goal with zeal, enthusiasm and faith. Remember ‘ A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what it is built for’.

Seek opportunities – Most people balk at the thought of having to cross imaginary chasms. They simply avoid beginning the journey. On the other hand those who have attained success have always had the foresight and vision to seek opportunities in the midst of difficulties. The great scientist of the world especially those who have found cures for various ailments and diseases have not let their fear of the disease stop them from seeing an opportunity to find a cure for the same. There is risk, there is possibility of failure but there is also the sense of achievement, the joy of success and their vision of contributing for the larger good. Remember – A pessimist sees a difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees an opportunity in every difficulty’

Accept what can’t be changed – Every individual will definitely come across a situation that suddenly cascades into an avalanche of uncertainties. The death of a parent/ loved one, a sudden job loss, an unexpected health related issue etc. immediate trigger alarm, creates panic and disturbs our equilibrium. The situation is not of our making, yet it cannot be wished away of ignored. While the immediate shock is natural, it is essential that we come to grips with reality and begin to accept the situation. With a positive outlook, one can rationally seek out the positives that exist despite the not too pleasant situation you find yourself in. This will allow us to think with a calm mind, pick up our life once again and pursue our goals with purpose, passion and positivity. Remember – If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. -Mary Engelbreit

Change things by being proactive – Be the change you want to see, is a common enough refrain. Yes you have to take that bold step to begin the change that you want in your life. Change that overcomes you by accident, would often overwhelm you but change that you set in motion, is largely controlled by you and you can often steer it to direction you want to go. Begin by making small changes in your own life. Self discipline is good way to begin. Progress from thereon, to taking the lead to change things that you strongly feel about. You are taking charge of the uncertainty ahead to steer it to a certainty that you have envisioned. Remember – “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” A.A. Milne

Try these:

  1. Rearrange your home and office space. It would be a proactive beginning and would also allow you to feel the power that you posses to influence the world around you when you take some proactive steps.
  2. Arrange these in the order that applies to you; with the most problematic one listed first and going down the order. Outline steps to tackle these so that you are leveraging possibilities to eliminate / minimize your problems
  • Lack of self discipline
  • Indecision
  • Poor time management
  • Impulsive reactions
  • Quick temper
  • Procrastination
  • Pessimistic outlook

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Inner peace

9- 14 April 15 -Inner peaceDespite our best efforts to retain our equanimity, we often end up upset, annoyed, irritated, hurt, frustrated and fearful at times. Obviously these emotions make us anxious, stressed and could trigger panic in us too. We lament that we do not have peace of mind and quickly delve into finding a balm in our religious texts, search for spiritual insights or bottle up our agony keeping silent and aloof or going the other extreme by putting on a false bravado and pretence of exuberance. No matter what we do, finding inner peace becomes more challenging, stressful and at times completely elusive. The reason peace eludes us is because we hope  for peace within by seeking its solutions outside.

Like happiness, peace is an inside job. What one needs to do is focus on the following:

Appreciate what you have – It is a natural human tendency to take for granted all that we are blessed with. Unfortunately, when do not really become aware of how blessed we are be it in the form of good health, a loving family, material and financial wellbeing etc. our mind focuses on what we do not have. We then crave for it, get obsessed with it and if we are fortunate to get it turn our attention very soon to another one of our longings/ desires.

Accept the reality but work to change it – Change is the one constant in our life and far too often every change does bring with it a host of challenges. Initially we fight change hoping that the change is temporary, then we hope to adjust to it and most of the time thereafter we keep fighting to resist accepting the change. On the other hand if one accepts the reality, as we often do when we lose a loved one, then we can focus better on coping with the reality that stares us in the face. Passed over for a promotion, sudden pink slip got, sudden financial outflow for unexpected illness of a loved one, these and many more are changes that swoop down on us, give us a hard knock and yet give us scope to cope and offer us new insights, fresh possibilities and certainly hope for something even better.

Seek solutions instead of brooding over problems – Every problem disturbs ones peace of mind. However, a problem remains a problem as long as one does not find a solution. So one can restore one’s peace of mind only when we find solutions to our problems. As long as we do not attempt to find solutions to our problem we are merely sacrificing our peace of mind. Parents have problems with truant children; spouses have marital discords off and on, there are numerous problems that arise at the work place, fresh graduates have problems finding jobs, there many who have to cope with illness and pain and the list goes on. Instead of worrying about the problem seek solutions be it asking for help, seeking expert advice, finding alternatives, resolving differences or simply accepting what can’t be changed.

Focus on the above you would never notice people or situations impacting your life and disturbing your peace of mind for you have already taken charge of your negative emotions by consciously pursuing actions that yield positive results.

Here is a cartoon that aptly encompasses all the 3 points.

Inner-Peace-Accept RealityTry these:

  • When disturbed, what are the feelings / emotions that overwhelm you?  Anger / frustration / helplessness / sadness / emptiness / agitation / confusion / panic. How do you cope with these feelings so as to calm yourself down?
  • What are you favorite stress busters? Check if these stress busters have turned into addictions (e.g. smoking). Think of new possibilities / ways that can become stress busters.

This post is courtsey www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Favorite Hello and hardest Goodbye

8 - 6 April 15-Favourite hello and hardest goodbyeVisualize the favorite person in your life. You will immediately appreciate the meaning of today’s post. What is more important is YOU attempting to be the favorite person for other people. It is possible for you too to have a positive impact on those around you or those who directly or indirectly come in contact with you. So here is what you need to do to make a difference in the lives of people who connect with you.

Smile – The quickest connect that a human being can make with another is through a smile. As they say a smile costs nothing, it adds to your own face value and it is a curve that straightens a lot of things. You would much rather meet a person with a smile than one with frown; the same is true for every individual. For sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Appreciate – By nature we often let our attention focus on what is wrong, what is missing or on what is irritating or unpleasant. We expect things to be in order, an individual to be affable and situations to be convenient. However, if we ask ourselves how we manage to keep things in order including our own mood swings we would realize that is a tough task and more importantly an unappreciated happening. Don’t you crave for a little appreciation? So why not appreciate others? For sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Listen – We all have our thoughts and would love to air our views to anyone who would listen without interrupting. Do we not seek out good listeners and gravitate towards them? Ask if many are also keen to meet up with you or spend time with you because you too are a good listener. Listening is more than just patiently hearing but genuine listening is heightened when you can disagree without being disagreeable and you seek and get clarifications from the communicator. For sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Thank – It is a genuine gesture that conveys gratitude. Good upbringing will over time train us to say thank you but it is the feeling conveyed with warmth, the emotion touching the other and the profoundness of gratitude that is felt that makes thanks more than just a formality. A hearty thanks is best conveyed through the look in the eyes, the warmth of the handshake or touch and the tone of the communication. Start the conversation with a thanks and for sure you will then be everyone’s favorite hello.

Accept – Far too often we tend to ignore those who we do not like, those who we perceive as overbearing or dysfunctional in our terms of reference or those who have physical / mental / emotional challenges. We also tend to ostracize people who do not meet our standards, those who we perceive to have an attitudinal problem or are opinionated or those who are loud, have a awful dress sense or are tardy and sloppy. In reality most of these people just need our understanding which begins with us accepting them as they are. Once you accept them then we obliterate our prejudices, our biases, our resentments and it then allows us to see them for what they are warts and all. It will give us a fresh perspective and more importantly give them hope, respectability and a feeling on kinship. Goodbyes for them will always then be hard for they are bound to miss you when the time comes to part.

Reach out – There are so many people around us who crave for attention, understanding, a sympathetic listening and a loving touch. Yet we would rather take care of our own immediate concerns and give such people a wide berth. Think of times when you felt alone, misunderstood, ignored or shunned; didn’t you yearn for companionship and understanding? Do you recollect those who spontaneously shared your troubles and halved it, those who stood by with you and made you feel stronger those who encouraged you when you felt all was lost. Do you miss them now? You too can reach out to others and just let them know you are there for them. Goodbyes for them will always then be hard for they are bound to miss you when the time comes to part.

Forgive – To forgive is often considered a weakness and so thoughts of revenge and an eye for an eye often seem the logical step. Yet forgiveness is an extremely tough act for it takes a lot of resolve, a higher level of enlightenment and a very big heart to pardon a wrong doer. Pardon is what we always sought when we erred. Do you recollect the relief and exhilaration that we experienced when we let off the hook for our misdemeanors. You now know the power of forgiveness. Forgive those who have wronged you and goodbyes for them will always then be hard for they are bound to miss you when the time comes to part.

Love – Just four alphabets but they encompass life itself. Love unconditionally like a parent, love deeply like a lover and love without any bias like a pet dog would love its master. Actually true love has no shades but we imagine the hues. Love another and goodbyes will always then be hard and YET when the time comes to part we still stay connected though the bond of love.

Try these:

  1. Identify / recollect atleast one incident in your life where you experienced a few of the above emotions.
  2. Rank the following in the order of ease of forgiveness with which you can forgive the offender.
  • An urchin grabs your wallet / purse at a crowded market place and vanishes into the crowd.
  • A drunk harasses you at the railway station
  • A rash driver knocks you down and then abuses you while speeding away
  • A former classmate who you lend some money refuses to pay up and does not entertain your telephone calls.
  • You are unable to accede to request for a loan from a friend and soon you hear that she/ he has been bad mouthing you.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Woman’s world

5- 8Mar 15 - Women's WorldOn women’s day, I think this is an appropriate post for the numerous ladies who subscribe and / or read this blog. It is equally relevant if not extremely important for the gentlemen to go through the post to appreciate the finer nuances of the term Sexy from a woman’s perspective.

Like any normal human being, every individual would like to be noticed, appreciated and respected no matter what their age, gender or economic background. A woman is blessed by nature to be a shade different from men in both physical form as also in their abilities, their mental makeup and their style. A woman often multitasks with seamless competence, has a greater resolve, is more committed to family responsibilities and becomes the pivot of a happy family. It is equally true that a women takes the effort to be well dressed, spends time and energy to be well groomed without compromising on their core responsibilities.

The woman one admires is not just the appealing physical form but the entire package that can include a number of roles being played by the same individual. She can be a dutiful daughter, an affectionate sister, a faithful wife, a protective parent and a diligent individual in any role. Remarkably, a woman will revel in any of these roles for she understands the criticality of her contribution in each of these roles. She will applaud, scold, worry, appreciate and chasten with equal aplomb for she is driven by love, motivated by bonding and duty bound by nature.

A woman’s personality lies in her dexterity, her vivaciousness, her independence and her commitment. She can be fiercely protective of those she loves, unabashedly partial to those she is fond of, acutely distressed when a loved one is in pain and exceedingly exuberant when in the company of boisterous, like minded people. In each of these varied roles a woman will be able to unobtrusively hold her own and perhaps that is the reason men tend to discount the women’s role and instead direct attention to perceived short comings of the lady. Numerous times the male chauvinist fails to give credit to the woman who is independent, self confident and individualistic.

While a women’s day, like a birthday is designated for euphoric celebrations, make each day of yours a special day; give expression to your thoughts, feelings and actions with confidence and passion. Gentlemen, appreciate the women in your life; notice how they make it more colorful, comfortable and cheerful.

Try these:

What are the 3 endearing qualities you appreciate in the following women

  • Your mother
  • Your sister / cousin sister
  • An aunt
  • Your wife / lady friend
  • A lady teacher
  • A lady who is a public figure

Think of 3 innovative gifts that you will gift any 3 of the above women. Try and give one gift before the month end to one of the ladies mentioned above.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Enthusiasm holds the key to success

23-24Nov 14- Success seen differentlyIn life, as in cricket no one hits a six of every ball or gets a wicket of every ball. However a cricketer continues his quest with enthusiasm and hope. Yet the same person would often feel dejected, disheartened and disappointed when his/ her life is not smooth sailing. The difference lies in how one perceives his / her involvement in whatever one undertakes. When one is passionate and involved in one’s pursuits, we would be enthusiastic about it. Maintaining this enthusiasm holds the key to one being persistent, passionate and purposeful no matter what the situation, obstacles or failures we may have to surmount. Here are some ways to enthuse yourself at all times.

Acceptance – This is the first step to getting enthusiastic about what you are engaged in. Most of the time we find fault with the job we have on hand or we focus on what we do not like about the task on hand. As a result it becomes very difficult for us to appreciate the opportunities we have to make a good impression. Those who are successful make the effort to accept the opportunity presented to them and then make best use of that opportunity by enthusiastically doing their task.

Temperance – This refers to one’s ability to bring a sense of proportion or balance to whatever one has to do. Many people get over enthusiastic when they have a new task. While this does help them start enthusiastically, the moment they encounter a problem or a hiccup in their progress, they get quickly disheartened and dispirited. On the other hand there are many who approach a new task with great apprehension and trepidation. They are cautious and circumspect and would be slow to get going and constantly seek reassurance that they are on the right track. This would result on them in displaying lack of confidence, become touchy about criticism and they would find it hard to generate sustained enthusiasm. Having a healthy balance between wild enthusiasm and extreme caution would ensure that a person is confident, motivated and pragmatic about delivering the results.

Perseverance – When one is enthusiastic one would persevere till one succeeds. Ironically perseverance results in progress which in turn becomes the fuel that keeps the fire of enthusiasm burning. Perseverance is not a virtue many are gifted with, yet it is a virtue that the successful people have carefully cultivated. Perseverance is energy sapping because one has to have self belief even in the toughest times; it demands commitment to the cause; it often asks more questions than one can correctly answer and most of all it has to overcome criticism, negative self talk and pessimism. Yet, when one perseveres it produces outcomes, not necessarily successful ones but certainly helps us know where one is going wrong but more importantly it enthuses us as we know we are getting closer to our achieving our goals.

Deliverance – They say nothing succeeds like success; which simply emphasizes the fact that one needs to deliver on ones promises. Deliverance does not refer only to the final result but also refers to successfully completing the intervening steps that leads to success. When one gets positive results, it peps one up and enthuses one to put in more positive energies so as to attain success. Occasionally one progresses well for a while before one comes across a huge challenge but the fact that one could deliver successfully and progress provides the enthusiasm to marshal all our resources to overcome the challenges faced.

Try this:

  • Are you enthusiastic enough to give your feedback about this post?
  • Assume you are given charge of organizing one minute games to be played at a party. Make a list of 10 one minute games that you are sure will keep participants enthused and eager to play
  • Choose anyone of the following activity that you have never attempted before and try to gain a level of expertise in it.
  1. Learning 2 new card tricks
  2. Learning a new sport like bowling / bridge/ snooker
  3. Learning a new style of dancing
  4. Writing a poem /limerick/ haiku
  5. Attempting a new art form like pottery / bonsai / origami

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in

Let the world change you for the better

22-11 Nov 14- You must break free andIn the euphoria of youthful adolescence we aspire to be role models to others, hope to make a difference to the world around us and expect to leave our mark on the world. Over time with the experience we gain, the maturity one attains and the realization that we have limited control over the happenings and people around us, we make a tactical retreat from our lofty ideals. Yet, off and on we still try to impose our ideas, attempt to brow beat others to our point of view and fondly hope that we are making a substantial contribution in changing the world around us. In this process we do gain some small victories occasionally but find ourselves caught up in the tide of the world around us and struggling to stay afloat.

On the other hand if we tweak our thoughts, change our attitude and modify our behavior so as to be more open to new thoughts, embrace new technologies and make peace with differing ideas and ideologies we would find ourselves more at peace, feel the pleasure of doing something different and enjoy the euphoria that comes from embracing change. Suddenly you will realize that slowly but steadily the world has helped you change and evolve into a much better person, a more competent individual and a very adaptable member of society. You have changed without compromising on your values, ethics and principles.

Here are some pointers to get the best out of the world around you

Have an open mind – This holds the key to learning from every situation, experience and failure. An open mind allows us the freedom to dare, risk and remain optimistic. Our crazy ideas make sense only when an open mind allows us the space to stretch our imagination and visualize the fructification of the idea into a tangible outcome. In the same way it allows one to discover the complications, the false assumptions, the unplanned deviations and the unexpected roadblocks without letting us lose our self belief. At the same time it allows us to inject a healthy dose of optimism, drives us passionately and helps us retain our zeal no matter what the obstacles.

Move out of your comfort zone – While all of us have dreams and some even indulge in day dreams, translating those dreams into action requires daring, courage and risk taking. This necessitates that one bite the bullet and take the risks, attempt something different and even have the courage to do what others least expect you to do. A person’s mettle is tested only when he/she is taking on new challenges, exploring uncharted territory and/ or confronting fears. This is also the time when one often discovers new personal strengths, abilities and qualities. This could also pave the way to achieving new milestones and exponential success.

Be prepared for surprises and shocks – If one were to really absorb and benefit from the influences of the world around us, we must be prepared to first embrace the surprises that come our way. Too many times we do not relish our success but worry that the success was an accident and may not repeat itself. Try new things, experience new outcomes. It is also essential to remember that when we try something different there could be some rude shocks too. These shocks would in all probability be temporary glitches or short term setbacks but that should not be construed to be a personal affront or colossal blunder.

Make every day count – Even as you read this, you are making judgments about the veracity of what you have read so far. If you largely agree with the points shared here you would need to quickly have a plan of action to put the learning to work. On the other hand if you are not in agreement with most of what you have read so far, then you must prepare to comment and share your views here. Either way, it is the first step to taking some concrete and decisive action. It is only when one takes decisive action then you make the day count.

The urge to make everyday count is a great motivator to have an open mind, accept the new and apply it, to become an even better person.

Try this:

  1. Watch a regional / foreign language movie (the language should be one that you do not understand). If the movie has English subtitles it is perfectly ok.
  2. Every week plan to play a new game that you have never tried before. Some suggestions are as under
  • A new card game
  • A different board game
  • An outdoor game like croquet/ baseball
  • Try your hand at archery / shooting / darts

Which of the following activities would you never dare attempt? Rank it in order of difficulty. Now try to attempt the least frightening activity within the next 2 months. Then keep attempting the others.

  • Scuba Diving
  • Bungee Jumping
  • Participating in a TV quiz / talent show
  • Being the masters of ceremonies at a function
  • Holding a non poisonous snake for 10 minutes
  • Being a Santa Claus at a Children’s Christmas party

 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Have a cracker of a Diwali by bursting …

20- 19 Oct 14 -Burst your ego

Diwali without crackers is never a Diwali. Yet, the awareness of pollution, the dangers that lurk in some types of crackers, the knowledge that a lot of child labour and inhuman labour conditions are prevalent in cracker manufacturing units and the understanding that crackers can be symbolic of the festival but not the heart and soul of the festival is slowly seeping into the psyche of people. Hopefully this awareness is spreading and encouraging people to cut down on bursting crackers during the Diwali festival.

Diwali is also a good time to reflect on how to burn and bury some of our personal weaknesses be it our negative attitude, our pessimistic thinking, our paranoia of failure and the like. However the first step to do this is to burst our ego and identify our limitations. So here is a new way to celebrate Diwali by bursting our EGO instead of crackers. Ironically ego is an essential virtue that helps an individual appreciate his/ her self worth, gives confidence and daring to move beyond one’s comfort zone and nourishes an individual’s morals and values. However, far too often our ego tends to get bloated by success, power and adulation from others. That is when our ego needs to be pricked and burst in the same manner that a surgeon would operate and get rid of an undesirable growth. The difference though is that a surgeon has many tools to diagnose the malady but as individuals we have to make a special effort to be aware of our bloated ego which can then be burst to get us back in shape.

Here are 3 diagnostic tools to helps us identify our ego

Feedback from others – Time and time you would always get a variety of messages from friends, colleagues, family members and strangers. If you pay attention to their messages, you would often get a clue to how much they appreciate like and respect you. Pay more attention and then you will also learn to discern the messages that are often vaguely critical, occasionally brutally honest and mostly gently camouflaged as sugar coated negative feedback.

Being aware of what goes on around us – It also helps to notice the behaviour and responses of people around to get a feel of how you are perceived by those you interact with. Perhaps you find some people deliberately avoiding you or refusing to engage with you. Others could be stiff and artificial when you are around. There could be others who are cynical, make snide remarks, sarcastic or provocative when interacting with you. It is possible that the problem is with them but it is equally probable that your ego has a key role in making them disturbed when you are around.

Being aware of our own actions and reactions – This is a tough challenge because we are often blinded to our own faults. However if we take time to introspect we would realise that there are times when we easily take offense, get loud and boorish, are extremely harsh and critical of those whom we do not agree with or do not like. Similarly we would notice that some people tend to get us easily irritated, we are sarcastic or disparaging in our comments about others, are not modest about what we have achieved and find it impossible to apologize even if a situation warrants it. A reality check would often point to a bloated ego behind which we cover our numerous faults.

To burst a bloated ego use these 3 tools.

Acceptance – While the diagnostic tools would help reveal the problem with our ego, the tougher part is to accept the diagnoses. For a long time we would deny it or rationalize it. However it is only when we accept our fault that would be taking the first step to curing our ailment. Acceptance is an acknowledgment that we realize our faults and then corrective action is real possibility. However acceptance is just the first big step to bursting ones ego.

Humility – The word humility is misused liberally by people particularly political parties who lose elections and claim that they accept the people’s verdict with humility. Humility is the realisation that whatever heights we have attained are temporary and fortunes fluctuate in the blink of an eye. Humility is the one virtue that will always ground us to reality and allow us the realisation that all of us whether born into greatness or inherited greatness are prone to the vagaries of life having to suffer the pain and hurts like any other human being. Humility would be the torch that lights the way into us walking the path of values, give us strength of character and treat others as you would have others treat you.

Revising upward our personal standards – The whole problem with a bloated ego boils down to the fact that we are obsessed with our current personal standards and expect the world to believe that those standards are the ultimate. We grow only when we set the bar higher and aim for that. So if we are able to raise our personal standards a wee bit higher our focus would be on attaining that rather than on looking for appreciation for our current standards. Ego gets bloated when we keep blowing our own trumpet, make others dance to our tunes and do not realize that the beat has changed.

Try this:

  1. If you were forced into doing one of the following, name two of them are you most likely to fall victim to?
  • Cheating in an exam
  • Telling lies
  • Not naming a culprit you know when questioned
  • Deliberately not keeping a promise because it was inconvenient
  • Now examine your motives for not indulging in the others.
  1. Name 3 of your strengths that you are most proud of. How would you react to someone who criticizes any of your strengths.
  2. Read up on EGO – Exaggerated Grandiose Opinion by clicking on the link

Burst your ego this DIWALI and light up your life and fill it with a new joy !

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.in

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

http://www.poweract.blogspot.in

No matter how you feel

19-30 Sept- 14 No matter how you feel

At some time or the other, especially on Monday mornings many of us are prone to feel lazy, lousy and lethargic. There are other times particularly when we have a tough task on hand or hard nut customer appointment or times when we have to convey bad news or fire people, when we are beset with the same feeling of despondency and inadequacy. Those are the times when we are challenged to bring to the fore our inner strength, push our core beliefs to the test and above all discover the leader within us.

Avoiding the task is merely postponing the problem. Ignoring the challenge would be lying to ourselves. Delegating the unpleasant to others would be an admission of inadequacy to take on responsibility. The solution lies in being brave, bold and brazen enough to banish your apprehensions and take the bull by the horns. This is best done in the following ways

Believe that you are duty bound– Everyone has a task to perform and you are duty bound to execute all that is entrusted to you. A forest ranger at great peril to his life will confront poachers just as a fireman or solider will put his / her life on the line in fulfilling his/her duties. Do you think your tasks / duties are more life threatening or dangerous? Perhaps laziness or complacency is an unwitting companion in your life which saps your motivation and zeal to hit work. Time to be aware, awake and act decisively; get up, dress up, show up for starters.

Be aware that this is testing time – Every exam time was full of stress, anxiety and apprehension for even the toppers. Most exams were planned events and we always had time to prepare. In daily life the tests are frequent, mainly unexpected and largely challenge our self belief, self discipline and resilience. Once you realize this, it is relatively easier to accept the challenges, act decisively and have a never give up attitude.

Act with prudence, passion and fairness – When we indulge in anything reluctantly, we are tempted to treat the act with contempt, seethe with anger and do the task haphazardly with the sole intent of completing it. The outcome of such hasty, tardy and reluctant effort will nearly always be slipshod and barren. Once the decision to take on the challenge is made, then doing a good job must be the only driving force. This demands we suppress our negative emotions, delve into our strengths and act with prudence, passion and fairness to achieve the b est results.

Have no regrets – There are times when despite our best efforts we do not attain success. Imagine the plight of the person standing second; it is not for lack of effort or ability but perhaps merely because of a mistake or an extra ordinary performance by the winner. However the person standing second will never regret the effort put in or the sacrifices made because the fruits of one’s labor will always be sweet for they are earned with daring, sweat and toil.

Try this:

Identify 3 aspects of your daily work life that you dislike but cannot avoid. Now for each of these, jot down 2 things that you think make this task meaningful. Next time you perform this task think of the 2 meaningful aspects of the task and see how it makes you do the task with less consternation.

You have been gifted 2 tickets for a very prized event. You are excited and all set to go for the event with your best friend. However on the previous evening of the event you are asked to urgently go to a work site in a different city on an urgent assignment lasting 2 days. How would you rationalize the complete change of plans to yourself so that you can still do meaningful and satisfying work despite the unfortunate change in plans?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in

Three bones that straighten your life

18-27 Sept 14-The 3 bones that hold up life

Physically, the human race is not blessed with a wishbone (a forked bone (the furcula) between the neck and breast of a bird. According to a popular custom, this bone from a cooked bird is broken by two people, with the holder of the longer portion being entitled to make a wish) but figuratively speaking we need to have a wishbone for more than one reason. To begin with, a fishbone would be the perfect blend between our potential and our goal realisation. Secondly, this imaginary bigger piece of the wish bone that we are all blessed with is our ability to think for ourselves, dream big and zoom in to our goals. Thirdly the wishbone would be the ideal prop that will provide us the motivation, the passion and the zeal to strive for better things in life.

A backbone is what helps us keep our torso erect, helps us maintain our posture and enables us to move around on two feet. The real test of the backbone is its ability to take on a load. Physical load is passé but it is the mental load, the strain and stress that pose the real challenge. Figuratively speaking a good backbone is a mix of the right attitude, self belief and daring. Only those with this kind of a backbone won’t shy away from a challenge, hard work or risk. With the right wishbone egging us on, a strong backbone is what helps one to attain ones goals and translate dreams into reality.

Along the way, life is often unpredictable, full of surprises occasionally harsh but definitely full of opportunities. Often opportunities masquerade as difficulties, hard work and fantasies. That is when a funny bone would come to the rescue. When one learns to laugh at one’s own follies, can see the joke being played on you by life and see beyond the sweat and tears with a smile on your face, that is when the funny bone becomes the oxygen that a breathless man gasps and revives. A funny bone also helps diffuse tensions, enables one to see situations from a different light hearted perspective and clears our mind by getting rid of worries and tensions.

Unlike the physical bones in your body that hold you up and gives your physical frame shape, it is just 3 imaginary figurative bones that actually gives meaning to your life.

Try this:

  • Can you think of 3 of your favorite jokes? Can you visualize yourself as a central character in any of the jokes?
  • If you were to be granted 3 wishes, what three wishes would ask for and why?
  • To prove that you have a real sturdy backbone, over the next few days try the following
  1. On day one watch the TV with earplugs so that you hear nothing but can see the visuals. Try it for at least 1 hour.
  2. On day two go to bed without dinner and sleep on the floor using just a bed sheet instead of a mattress.
  3. On day three, set a target for yourself to raise as funds to be donated for a cause. Go about raising those funds from strangers or by using challenging & innovative ways.
  4. On day four you have to buy 5 gifts, each not costing more than Rs.20 and surprise 5 people with those gifts.

 Jot down your feelings and learning and share your experiences by writing in to actspot@gmail.com

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There is a little truth in…

17-7 Sep 14 Ah did you realise this

For many of us the lessons from parents and teachers may be behind us but we can still learn a lot from the people we interact with each day. We may not have foes in the conventional sense but we certainly have people whose presence threaten us; perhaps some are over bearing, others power wielding or some who display obnoxious behaviour. However it is your friends who you interact with the most who are a tremendous source of candid feedback. Most feedback would be pleasant, friendly and positive. However, well meaning friends would also in moments of weakness express themselves candidly and when they realize their gaffe, attempt to cover up so as not to upset or annoy you. That is when they will often say ‘just kidding’ to cover up and you would choose to respond with a white lie to play along. Yet in your response there would be a touch of pain. The pain is the recognition of the truth in the feedback!

While we may be very knowledgeable about many things in life, time and time again when faced with a tricky situation where questions like ‘who is right?’ or ‘what will you do in this situation?’ are posed to us, we shrug our shoulders and simply retort ‘I don’t know. The same is true with the response of others to whom we pose similar questions. The fact is that hidden in the response is the unsaid statement ‘I don’t want to reveal my choice because it could displease someone’. Feigning ignorance is tactical use of the knowledge of the situation. If the ignorance expressed is a genuine response then it is also a brilliant use of the knowledge that there is much to be learnt still.

When desperate or pushed to the wall, there are many of us who defend ourselves with the retort ‘I don’t care’. Listen carefully and you will sense quite desperation, frantic fury or a resigned submission. The situations will determine the emotion but you will never miss the hurt, anger or fear that is ensconced within the words. The words may sound defiant, it may smack of arrogance or it could be an ultimatum. What cannot escape notice is the pain and bitterness that echoes loudly in the exclamations.

When someone commits a faux pa and apologies, we often respond saying ’ it is ok’. Other times when we commit a similar faux pa or make a harsh statement and thereafter quickly retract, the others to who our words were directed would also attempt to defuse the situation by saying ’ it is ok’. There may be some consolation that our gross mistake has been pardoned, but there is the uneasy feeling that things will never be the same again. There is a tinge of hurt, of being let down, of being rudely surprised and yet we try to consign our hurt and pretend to let bygones be bygones. It is ok is merely a euphemism for I am hurt but I am not making it an issue.

Try this:

  • Name 3 positive emotions and 3 negative emotions that is characteristic of you responses.
  • Can you recollect situations where you were forced to respond with the statements emphasized above. Which of the situations left a bitter taste in your mouth long after the event had passed?
  • Do you recall a statement made by another person that hurt you very much? How did you overcome that hurt?
  • Which was the most stupid blunder you made that embarrassed both you and an another person?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com