Tag: Appreciation

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Each of us has a lot to be grateful for. The mere fact that I am writing this and you are reading this means we are alive, we are blessed with the gift of sight, understanding and literacy and fortunately we also have the time and energy to pore over the contents of the blog. Do we really value these blessings or do we take them for granted. Do we focus only on the special things that we get out of the blue like winning a lottery or getting an unexpected bonus or promotion or topping an exam? Fact is that we have much to be grateful for. The little things we take for granted, the wonderful surprises that come our way and for the limited pain and hurt we occasionally endure. The bigger benefit of being grateful for however lies in the fact that practicing gratitude daily fills us with an overpowering sense of bliss, which comes because of the following:

Shift in perspective – For many of us, our natural tendency is to look at the negatives around us. This is partly to do with a primal instinct of self preservation from all dangers. However, over time this tendency to look at negatives has been so deeply ingrained in us, that we fail to notice the wonders around us. Apart from being  the most intelligent of the species in nature, human beings are gifted with abundantly more blessings that will allow one the luxury of drawing in happiness. However, this is possible only when one shifts focus from negatives to positives. By taking in a dose of gratitude each morning, the blessings in life suddenly become more visible, more tangible and more available for each of us to enjoy. It is a drastic shift in perspective triggered by practicing gratitude each day.

Feeling of abundance – One weakness of the human race is the tendency to compare with other human beings; be it our wealth, out looks, our intelligence or what we perceive as social status. No sooner one starts comparing with others, there is an overwhelming feeling of deprivation, of lack of something, of a longing for what others have and the desire and craving for more. What we forget in the process is that we are taking for granted an abundance of blessings we are gifted with. Our abundance is in every sphere; good health for most of us, a loving family life, great friends, adequate or more food, clothing and shelter etc. It is only when one practices gratitude that we begin to consciously pay attention to the abundance each of us has.

Decrease of fear and anxiety – The greatest benefit of practicing gratitude is that with the shift in perspective and the feeling of abundance, there is an immediate decrease of fear and anxiety. We know that our blessings far outweigh our concerns, that life has much more to offer than pure material wealth and that tomorrow is another day that one needs to take in her/ his stride. Each morning becomes a wondrous expectation for the day that unfolds will bring with it plenty of surprises; most of which are pleasant but then a few challenges/ pain will also be part of the day. By viewing things in the correct perspective and knowing that we are amply blessed, practicing gratitude is an extraordinary way of living life in bliss.

Try these:           

  • List out the three greatest blessings that you cherish.
  • What was your greatest emotionally painful moment? How did you cope with it? What was good about that painful moment?
  • Who are the three most important people in your life? The challenge is to restrict yourself to just 3 people. Have you told them how grateful you are for what they mean to you?
  • As I was writing this blog, I received a Wattsapp forward which I thought was apt for sharing with the readers of this post. I am attaching it, as it is, in a Word Document file. There is an Arabic Translation or possibly it is the original source and I have retained it for those who would better connect with it. Click on this link to read it. 18-30 -08 Oct 18- Gratitude_Message_30_08 Oct 18

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Keep up the good work

40- keep up the good work

We are nearing the end of this calendar year. This is a time when there is a tendency to look back and wonder how well the year gone by has been.  For many people there is a tinge of regret that one has not made the best of the time we were bestowed. We lament the missed opportunities, the strained relationships and our own tardiness in not being self starters and movers and shakers. Yet if we take a pause and focus on just all that we did right, all the successes we have enjoyed and the appreciation we have received, perhaps we would discover that the year gone by has been exceptionally good. We need to focus on the right actions we took, the good we encountered and our blessings rather than on trying to rationalize the negatives in our life.

An important lesson we can learn from appreciating the year gone by is that many of our successes  may not have created waves, nor would they have impacted many people or possibly they looked too trifle. Yet we recollect these moments because they made a difference to us. The reasons we value these moments and cherish it are as under:

  • We did it because we knew it was the right thing to do. E.g. stop our vehicle and help a disabled person cross the street or spend time with a friend facing a crisis or visit a sick person who yearned for some company.
  • We did not aim to please others as much as we did it to align our moral compass to our values. E.g. refusing to succumb to the temptation to copy despite knowing that you could fail in the exam or actively participating in a cause you root for even if it meant retribution from people in authority.
  • We did our best under the circumstances, for we focused on our strengths not our limitations. E.g. Volunteering to help when there is a calamity or Doing the most mundane task assigned because no one else was willing to do it.
  • We would have regretted not doing it then even if the consequences were hard on us subsequently. E.g. Making that extra effort to attend a friend’s wedding and sacrificing your annual visit to your hometown or sacrificing your free time and patiently teaching the neighbor’s kids mathematics because they were weak in it or sacrificing your weekends to help a new colleague settle down in the city.

Carry the spirit of doing what is right into the New Year and you will realize how blessed you are; you don’t need an applause, you don’t require special motivation, you don’t have seek approval and most of all you don’t have to ever regret anything you do.

Try these                                                            

  • Surprise 3- 5 people with an unexpected gift each.
  • Surprise yourself by trying to do something different. Maybe you could trying singing along with a carol singing group or become a Santa at the local departmental store or just experiment with your baking skills.
  • Start writing down your New Year resolutions. Ensure there are at least 2 things that you have never attempted in the past but want to give a serious try in the coming year.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Create your own rainbow

24- 8 Jul 17- Create your own rainbowWith the monsoons already arriving, most days seem like Monday’s; dull, gloomy and too tempting to laze around in bed. Yet, it is time to get up and get going and the process is just a tad too boring and uninspiring. Just as the wonders of the rainbow appear in the monsoon, await the rainbow each day and there would perhaps also be a pot of gold at the end of it to lure you to energetically look forward to each day.

Look for things that brighten the day – it could be the chirping of the birds, the sunlight that is streaming in, the laughter of children playing, the pealing of the temple and/or church bells. The key is to look for things that make you happy, contented and peaceful. It is a proactive responsibility that you must take on in order to change your own world.

See the variety of positives that you are blessed with – Make a conscious effort to over look  the hurt, the pain, the sadness of the past and instead focus on the blessings you have been bestowed. Good health tops the list, financial security, a loving world of family and friends, the comfort of a blessed home perhaps and a secure job too maybe.

Smile, forgive, listen, appreciate, thank – This is such an easy formula to memorize; a tough one to put in practice but the easiest to embrace once you have consciously adopted it. Each of it helps you exhale the toxic within and inhale the pure clean emotions.

Embrace love, laughter, hope and faith – Just as a good diet and exercise is a choice you make, add a heap full of love, a ton of laughter, perennial hope and unwavering faith to your daily mantra. You will find yourself empowered, optimistic and energetic to make your presence felt in the world and to make a positive difference around you.

Spend time with family, nature, self – Since we are social animals, we need to connect with other,  the world around and with ourselves. Spend time with family and friends. Spread good cheer and goodwill amongst them. They would seek to spend more time with you. Nature helps us embrace the spectrum of life; the flora and fauna, the sheer variety of wildlife and the beauty of the hills and valleys, the rivers and the seas, the changing seasons. Spend time thinking, reflecting and connecting to inner self. Never forget you are world yourself; filled with emotions, thoughts, feelings and passion.

Find silence despite the noise, find order despite the chaos and discover peace within despite the turbulence around –  Life is full of noise, chaos and turbulence. In our journey through life, we must be able to filter out and choose everything that would make our journey more pleasant, comfortable and enjoyable. Learn to enjoy silence; then you will master the art of finding it despite the noise around. Like getting through a maze, look hard at the chaos around; anger, frustration, hurt are some  feelings that you need to get past before you get out of the maze and reach peace, tranquility and bliss.

Look back with fondness, look forward with hope and be awake in the present Every day there must be something pleasant to reminiscence about, a goal set to give meaning and purpose to each day and one must make each moment count by being mentally and physically alert and active.

Notice how you have created a beautiful rainbow for yourself. The success, satisfaction, happiness, contentment and the peace that you get is the pot full of gold at the end of your rainbow.

Try these

  • List out 3- 5 colors that you like.  Look around you and for each color you chose, write down at least 2 objects having that color. Did you notice the color of those objects earlier. Do you notice the rainbow of colors around you?
  • Sit with your eyes closed for 5 minutes. Identify the various noises around you. Also imagine the aroma of your favorite food. Can you feel the rainbow of myriad sounds and aroma that you normally take for granted.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The secret to great relationships

20- 4 June17 -A great relationship

If you look at the friendships you have made over the many years of your life, what stands out is the fact that you have and equation with your friends which is often very ironical. There are things about your friend that you love and that is the reason for the bonding and yet there are habits/ mannerisms/ behavior / style of your friend that you dislike, possibly abhor and yet you overlook them. Friendships thrive on these differences and how individuals manage to reconcile these juxtapositions holds the key to endearing and enduring relationships.

It is possible that in many relationships it is differences between individuals is what triggers attention to each other but ultimately it is the similarities that bring about a confluence of appreciative emotions. In most cases though, it is the similarities in thought and approach that helps bonding and the respect for differences cements these bonds. Excellent relationships are all about managing these juxtapositions.

Good relationships are cemented stronger if both the appreciation of similarities and the respect for differences are expressed; the former more vigorously the latter more diplomatically. The latter is a tad tougher to express for it always carries a possibility of being misunderstood or being seen as a reproach and hence viewed as an indictment. This can bring about a wedge in relationships and hence has to be expressed very selectively and cautiously.  The differences are accentuated in criticisms, puns, sarcasm and disagreements. Hence it is important to be aware of the potential lethal effects of using any of the above in words or deeds.

Honesty in the relationship ensures there is greater understanding. However, brutal honesty can be damaging. Disagreements and differences of opinion are essential to retain the individuality of the people in a relationship. It is the individuality of the parties in a relationship that makes the communication, the interaction and the engagement in a relationship unique and interesting. The similarities between two individuals is what cements the relationship for there is a commonality of understanding, purpose and respect born out of appreciating the commonalities in each other.

Try these

  1. What are your three strengths that you think your friends appreciate in you? What are your three traits you think others find it hard to reconcile with or do not appreciate in you?
  2. What are the similarities and differences you note in the following people
  • Your siblings / cousins
  • Your three friends at work
  • Your three colleagues with whom you bond easily.
  • Your three best friends
  • Your classmates in school/ college with whom you meet up occasionally

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Finding your passion

34-finding-your-passion

One question that often baffles an individual is how one finds his / her passion. It is largely by a trial and error method in most cases. Some lucky individuals do get to know their passion from early childhood; others discover it in teenage and some stumble upon it much later. For the overwhelming majority though, finding one’s passion is almost as elusive as trying to find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. We would focus on what is common to every individual’s passion and what is the ideal passion to pursue.

What you love – The primary test of what one finds passionate is how much we love it. Passion comes from having a deep, abiding interest and obsession with something. Now most times our passions, especially in our growing up years keep changing. Similarly we discover new and fascinating things that grab our attention and make us pine to for it. Varied dimensions of technology in particular fascinates us as do creative pursuits and self driven concerns like environmental pollution, garbage recycling, health etc. What compounds our choices is the combination of passions that we seem to revel in. Let us say writing or art or cinema is our primary interest and now technology offers us blogs /video platforms to express ourselves and reach worldwide audiences. Pursuing new applications to leverage our expertise combined with the power of technology available on with smart phones and computers opens up new frontiers to explore. With wider choices, we have more opportunities to explore; we must experiment and discover what we truly find fascinating.

What you are good at:  While it is difficult to zoom in on to a couple of things that fascinate us, what is more important and more challenging is finding out if we have the skills, the aptitude and the ability to pursue and make those passions an extension of ourselves. Having a fascination and obsession is relatively passive, the true test is if we can translate what we love into a profession that makes us happy, allows us to use all our abilities and makes us happy each single day. One critical test to know if our passion is real, is to test if we have the intrinsic motivation to pursue it every single day. Do we keep thinking about our work and how we can improve it, make it more fascinating, keep ourselves updated about it and get a thrill out of sharing about it. Once you know what you love and what you are good at, you can feel a sense of happiness every single day.

What pays you well : While you can be happy pursuing your passion, the reality is that we live in a world that requires us to fend for ourselves and our families. This is reality that we cannot escape from and we must be alive to this facet of living. The ideal passion would be one, where you can follow your heart, use your head and turn it into a profitable venture. This means that we make use of our talents, our obsessions to ensure a good living. There are times when we realize our strengths and leverage it to make a good living but our heart and mind are into something else. That is when you are financially well off but bored because you are not fully engaged in what you do   E.g. We are academically brilliant and hence you get a good degree and pursue a job that pays well.  Perhaps your first love is to spread your knowledge and become a teacher but that profession is relatively less acceptable socially and financially relatively less rewarding than your current profession. It is then a compromise passion not the ideal passion that your pursuing.

For many people, once they have met their financial goals, they find it simpler to follow their ideal passion. They would take risks to pursue eco farming, teach the economically weaker, be involved in social activities where their skills sets are fully used etc. Till one reaches that stage, the ideal passion is one where your love for something, your skill set /aptitude/ expertise in that area and your returns/ benefits from pursuing that combine, to provide you happiness and bliss every single moment.

Try these:

  1. So what would your dream job/ profession be? What is stopping you from realizing that dream job/ profession?
  2. Make a list of the following:
  • Appreciation received from parents / teachers / classmates/ colleagues
  • Encouragement received from all of the above
  • Advice/ suggestions on what you must pursue as a profession
  • The events/ occasions when you felt elated and valued
  • The activities that make you delighted/ thrilled / blissful
  • The above will give you pointers on where you can find your ideal passion

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Create magic moments

16- Make moments count

Some of us get frustrated waiting for the right moment, there are others who lament and rue those moments they missed taking advantage of and then there are plenty of us who wonder what the right moment ever is. Each breathe we take, is a moment that is all ours to utilize. Yes even the sleeping hours can be profitably used to dream up new effective plans, provided of course we go to bed with such an objective in mind. In reality, the fact that we go to bed with thoughts of attaining something worthwhile, gives us a clue as to what to do in our waking hours, to pursue that worthwhile goal. However unlike our every breathe that is automatic, capturing the right moment is actually possible only with effort. We need to first work on creating the right moment, and then be aware of the perfect time to make our move and grasp those moments and make it memorable.  So now ask yourself what was the most memorable moment of today?

Picture / visualize what you want. You create moments only when you have a purpose and goal to attain. Without it, we would never be an evolved animal but merely a specie like the rest of the animal kingdom who live merely from meal to meal with evolutionary diversions being a bonus moment in the humdrum of everyday living.  Man/ woman (human race in general) alone is blessed with the privilege to create wonderful moments to experience, share and reminiscence. In daily life, these moments will never be as dramatic as winning a contest or getting an award or breaking some records etc. Yet, we can create and cherish those moments daily by focusing on how we can contribute in our own little way to making the world around us a wee bit better each day.

Here are some things we can do daily to create those magic moments

Spread positivity – Yes there is a lot wrong with the world around. Yet the world has survived many doomsayers prophesies. So seek out the good around, be optimistic, focus on what is going on right. Go around spreading cheer, giving hope, sharing your enthusiasm, injecting a spirit of pride in those we come in contact with daily.

Stand up for your beliefs/ values – Standing up for what we perceive as right or for the values we hold dear is challenging, for there would be many others holding a different and possibly conflicting point of view. It is essential therefore that we are heard aloud, our point of view articulated clearly, our arguments unbiased and rationale and that we are willing to listen to others who may not share our views. We may not come to a definitive conclusion but we certainly won’t be steamrolled or let a brute majoritarian viewpoint be imposed de facto. That would be the moment that you create for the world to see your individuality.

Be there for others – At some stage in life each of us requires help from others. Seek out those who need such support and reach out to them. It could be someone struggling to take a decision, someone who is lonely and scared, it could be someone wanting to share a thought or fear or it could be someone wanting acceptance. Simply being polite, well mannered, being a good listener is all it takes to make those magic moments for others and yourself.

Act decisively to bring change – All of us have complaints. Can we start doing something about our grievances? Start working on finding solutions to our grievances and soon we would be  getting others to join us in the quest of a solution not merely lamenting about our problems. You would create that moment by acting decisively to bring about change rather than joining the chorus of complainants.

Appreciate and encourage – At a more simple and personal level, you can create moments by appreciating others who have achieved something and encouraging those who are yet to fulfill their potential. Appreciation and encouragement are very fulfilling when one does it spontaneously, means it genuinely and gives of it freely. Look out for opportunities to spread such cheer and optimism daily.

Pardon and forgive – If we feel wronged we find it hard to pardon and forgive those who we see as perpetrators of the injustice. As a result, long after the event has passed, we still nurture a grievance, secretly hope to avenge it and want to plot the others downfall or atleast get a vicarious pleasure in their suffering.  Yet it is that moment when we can forgive and pardon that will set us at peace, free us from a mental bondage and create a moment of personal exhilaration.

Accept and let go – Some events will overwhelm us. We cannot turn the clock back and yet we either live in denial or we seek comfort in lamenting ‘if only’. The moment we let go of the crutch of denial or lament, we would make dramatic progress in leading a happier, fulfilling and meaningful life. Accept the mistakes of the past, let it remain in the past, focus on the opportunities ahead and the enormous potential you have to make life even more wonderful. It is that moment you create that will transform you into the person that you really are meant to be.

Try these:

Go to a vantage point like a street level café in a crowded market place or a bustling railway station or bus terminus and simply observe the people passing by. Pay attention to those walking slowly, those lingering, those looking lost and confused, those on the verge of tears. Be grateful for your more well off life and attempt to mitigate the misery of one such person you notice.

Go and visit an elderly friend or relative who is seeking company or visit the sick in the hospital nearby. Perhaps you can  visit a home for the physically/ mentally challenged and create some magic moments for them too.

Maybe you would like to write or speak to someone who you could not pardon or someone who you would like to appreciate. Maybe you can volunteer for a movement about which you are passionate but have not yet committed. Is there a regret that you want to let go off and walk away from. Write it down and then tear it up and trash it.

Learn to create those moments that you will cherish henceforth! Go forth and be blessed with magic moments and timeless memories.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Leave a little sparkle

15- Leave a little sparkle

Most of us go through life feeling that we are just one in a crowd and that no one ever notices us nor values us. Yes it is true that parents would always have a special place for their kids but even that is often liberally sprinkled with do’s and don’ts and an incompleteness that suggests we need to still exceed their expectations.  As a result, we are often trying to match up to expectations, trying to prove a point to others and do not really offer to the world around liberally of our talents, our abilities and our real self. The reality is that our individuality has much to offer that is unique and that is valued by others. It is the little things that we do, that is more significant than the convoluted efforts we make to impress others and gain approval. By being ourselves we are more natural, caring, feeling and expressive.  There is always a lot of sparkle that we leave behind when we are natural not artificial, genuine not put on and when we can freely offer of our self without expectations from others.

Our natural self is often influenced by our upbringing, our family values and the inputs in our formative years in school and social settings. Our own attitudes, beliefs and thinking too have a major bearing on how our personality shapes up. There is a lot of positivity, goodness, care and concern that we are born with but these can be reinforced or negated by influences as we grow up. There is so much that we offer the world around that is valued, appreciated and eagerly sought for without us being conscious about it. So what is it that we can offer spontaneously, amply and freely that will always sparkle up our environment and the people around us?

A smile is obviously the most obvious and easiest sparkle that we can share with others. With a smile we acknowledge another person in a warm way. It is a sure way to state we notice the other person and a way to silently inform that we appreciate their presence. Very often it is also the beginning of a communication and possibly a friendship and a connect. A warm genuine smile brightens up the environment, lightens the mood and livens up the spirit.

Appreciation is something that every individual seeks. It is also something that can be easily given for there is a lot to appreciate in others. We tend to be stingy with our appreciation mainly because we are not aware how effective it is in creating a bond and building up relationships. Appreciation must not be confused with flattery. Appreciation is a genuine expression of a good sentiment towards an other. It can be simply an appreciation of the good work done by someone or your acknowledgment of something good in the other person. The best appreciation is when we respond positively to the individual concerned but we can also be appreciative of the person in a forum or setting where the person is not present.

Empathy is our ability to understand and feel a person’s pain and if possible to act decisively to mitigate it by our actions. Empathy goes a step beyond sympathy in that we don’t merely understand the others pain but we also attempt to walk with the person in discomfort and try to alleviate the pain to the extent possible. We are active participants in the process of healing for the others. This is difficult to spontaneously do because we often tend to hold back our feelings and expect others to ask us for our support.

Encouragement is a simple yet powerful technique that enables one to motivate and support others thereby leaving our little sparkle in their lives. Lots of people constantly need support in their emotional life as well as in coping with the stress of failures. Often they blame themselves for their inability to cope with the challenges they face. As a friend or well wisher or even as a bystander we can perhaps try and take a detached view and offer encouragement to the individual concerned and motivate him/ her to have fresh perspective and try again. With our encouragement we rekindle hope in them and they begin to pursue with greater vigour.

Support comes in many forms. Encouragement is also a form of support. However it is the support that we lend in practical terms like financial support at crucial times, being with them physically when they are in trouble, like when are involved in a calamity, that is really cherished.  One could also support by putting in a word to influencers who can help their cause or just being with them when they are at their lowest depth psychologically and emotionally. Even if we cannot support them directly we must be able to at least guide them to find support or suggest to them alternatives to explore. Even the tiniest of support offered is the little sparkle that you offer them.

Keeping in touch has become easy nowadays because of technology. Yet, it is the personal touch that one craves for. Wishing people or expressing sympathy or forwarding messages through the electronic means has become so easy that it is done with little or no personalization or feeling. The real touch is in our ability to talk, meet, getting together and in giving surprises to those around. This does take both time and effort, but it is the time and effort we invest in keeping in touch that sets us apart from the others. The sparkle that we leave behind is the memories of those wonderful moments when personal touch actually touched the heart. The sparkle of those memories would always be cherished and would always remain priceless.

Try these:

In addition to the above explore how you can leave a sparkle through the following

  • Your manners
  • Your etiquettes
  • Your initiative
  • Your impartiality and fairness
  • Your tone/ language/ conduct
  • Your talents / abilities
  • Your wit/ humor/ presence of mind

 List out the following

  • Names of 2 individuals (other than immediate family) who have deeply influenced you.
  • Recollect 2 wonderful moments from your life where someone played an important part in making it memorable.
  • Can you remember at least 2 incidences where your involvement in some way made a person thrilled and ever grateful for your presence.
  • Are there memories of times when you did not get the appreciation /support or encouragement that you sought from someone? Do you still feel bad about it?
  • Do you remember an embarrassing moment/s when you backed out from offering support / encouragement to someone who placed his/ her faith in you?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The real YOU

14- 10 Jun 15-The real YOUThere is a different prism through which we can see ourselves more clearly; uncomplicated, realistic and honestly. That prism is through the eyes of others who are around you, with who you interact, your colleagues, friends, family and even worthy opponents. They value you not in terms of your wealth, your education or your achievements but seek out the person you really are by stripping of the external trappings and going into your individuality.

This is how your individuality is seen by others and your worth assessed by others.

Kindness = Greatness – Can you stop and help a blind man cross a road? Would you be able to spend time with the aged and infirm who are in institutions. Would you be able to respond charitably to those who may have wronged you? Can you forgive or be magnanimous to acknowledge your fault? There are numerous opportunities to give of yourself and be kind to those who seek your indulgence. Do you seize the opportunities to let them pass by either because you are not inclined to or because you believe someone else will take care of the same? Citations and awards maybe cherished by you and seen as the pinnacle of achievement but it is in giving of yourself that your greatness is brought to the fore.

Modesty =Education and intellect – The college degrees, the merit certificates, the academic performances are just a formal way to acknowledge an individual’s academic performance. To some extent they are also a barometer of a person’s intellect. However, the true worth of one’s education and intellect is reflected in the person’s ability to be humble, modest and graceful to the less equals. Making tall claims, boasting, names dropping, self centered conversations, refusal to respect and appreciate others, running down people etc. are some definite pointers to academics not translating into sound education and appreciable intellect.

Suspicion and prejudices = Ignorance – Insecurity, mistrust, ignorance are negative traits that trigger the mind to be suspicious and prejudiced. The tendency to read too much between the lines, casting aspersions on others, being biased, playing favorites, planting the seeds of doubts etc. are sure signs of a deeper malady of suspicion and prejudice. In reality it reflects one’s ignorance about one’s own competence and also betrays one’s ignorance about the complications and damage that one is inflicting by such behavior.

Consideration and tolerance = Caliber – While personal achievement demonstrate one’s ability, the caliber of an individual goes much beyond personal ability. When an individual can not only perform well but can influence others to give off their best, that is when the real caliber of the individual is on display. Great coaches are a prime example of people with exceptional caliber for they are able to get the best out of their wards. Similarly, team leaders whose teams achieve excellence and retain both the competitive and the team spirit are people with excellent caliber because often they would have to groom people far better than themselves with a healthy dose of encouragement, motivation, firmness and flexibility. Caliber is excellence put to the test and coming up triumphant.

Try these:

  • List out the names of 3 individuals who you have personally interacted with and who you believe are modest people. Pinpoint at least one incident / happening for each individual that made you come to this conclusion about them.
  • Outline 2 of your pet suspicions about others and 2 of your frequent prejudices. Do you have any tangible evidence or proof to harbor such thoughts?
  • Next time you are in a one to one conversation with another individual consciously make it a point to count the number of times you use the word ‘I’ or ‘my’ in your conversation.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

We let others judge us when we judge others

Ask a person for an opinion on another person and his / her response will give you an immediate idea about the person speaking. Being critical is not a vice but taking an unbiased and balanced view based on facts is difficult. This is because, most times we have incorrect, incomplete or second hand information about others and far too often our judgment is clouded by our personal bias, emotions and feelings.

On the other hand if we are naturally inclined to be positive, have developed the ability to see the not so visible strengths of others and give benefit of doubt to others, we would be favorable disposed to others and form an appreciative opinion about others. In the long run, not only our attitude but our expectations from others will become more encouraging, others would seek both friendship and counsel from us and we would automatically widen our circle of influence and friendship.

A good rule to follow would be to find 3 good virtues in another for every one vice/ complain that we may have about the other. If we can consciously practice this, we will find a substantive collateral benefit for ourselves beginning with stretching our imagination to seek the good in others and ending up with feeling nice about others as well as tranquility within us. Look around and observe your circle of friends; there won’t be even one who is your vehement critic but everyone will uniformly be someone who appreciates you for what you are; your strengths as well as your deficiencies are accepted by them.

Be like the mirror who does not judge you, nor does it lie to you but it allows you the luxury of presenting both your worst self as well as best self without fear or favor.

Judge others as you would have others judge you.

Action Points:

  1. Pick up a deck of cards and examine the kings, queens and jacks in it. Choose any one of these 12 characters as your favorite. Give 3 reasons for choosing that card.
  2. Find at least 3 points to admire in the following personalities

–          Genghis khan

–          Hitler

–          Aurangzeb

–          The teacher you disliked the most

–          The classmate you disliked the most

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www.poweract.blogspot.com

Making your life simple

“Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.”  Charles Dudley Warner

Are you one of those who is forever complaining, someone who is constantly stressed, a person who never seems to have enough and an individual in the quest of his / her individuality? Our source of dissatisfaction, restlessness and irritation can be stymied and possibly got rid off by learning to avoid complicating our thinking and by focusing on simplifying our living. How do we complicate our thinking? How can we simplify our living? The answers to these questions are the essence of today’s post.

How do we complicate our thinking?

Comparisons. A common human bane is our invariable impulsive need to compare with others. Be it our own physical personality or mental abilities or wealth and riches; the urge to surpass the other creates in us need to compare and this leads us to warped thinking, skewed logic and insatiable wants.

Desires. Coveting what catches our fancy is perhaps a logical extension of our sin of comparison. However this goes deeper in as much as we pay no attention to our need but cave into our greed and lust and this blinds us to the consequences or price of our actions.

Jealousy.  Our insatiable urge for things manifests itself in desires whilst our ego is largely responsible for inability to restrain ourselves from comparing with those around. Alas, the combination of these two evils sparks of a third bigger evil jealousy. Jealousy unfortunately has no antidote and the best way to stem the rot is by learning to appreciate  all that we posses.

Lack of appreciation. By failing to acknowledge all that we are blessed with, we tend to take things for granted. If you have sprained any part of your body or you have had a hand or leg in cast you would understand how much we have taken our physical body for granted. Do we really appreciate the blessings of a loving family the power we have in the form of an intimate friends circle or the blessings of good health?

How can we simplify our living?

Acceptance: We have to make the best use of the cards that have been given us in this life. The first step then is to accept the reality and then begin to make the best of what we have. What we really need to watch out for are excuses that we spew out when we fail to grasp the opportunities that come our way. Acceptance is no license either to stop striving for one can steadily progress by aiming higher.

Be grateful : If you are reading this just be grateful for your education, your eyesight, the fortune of being able to access the computer and for the good fortune of coming across this site. Perhaps there are many more things to be grateful for. In reality do we value all the triumphs, the trails, the pain and the pleasure that we have experienced. The trails and pains are invaluable experiences that teach us a lot while the pain and the pleasure makes our life more fulfilling.

Enjoy the moment: Far too often we plan, strategize, anticipate, imagine and visualize in order to protect our future. Alas in this scramble to enjoy the future we miss out on relishing the present, the reality of now and the ecstasy of living. While it is essential to also think of the future that must never be at the cost of not having a great laugh, indulging in some tomfoolery caressing a loved one or enjoying the affectation of loved ones.

Worry less: The one thing that we overlook when trying to simplify life is minimizing stress. Stress is nothing but worry working overtime and overtaking our happiness. The way to minimize worry is by assessing the source and the consequence and then reconcile to it. This requires a lot of grit to confront the problem and a healthy dose of positivity to appreciate the worst case scenario. Worrying won’t solve problems but by minimizing our worrying we will have peace of mind, clarity of thought and ample time to enjoy the moment.

Remember: “In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.”  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Try this:

  1. Out of the 4 points listed in the first part of this write up  and  the 4 points listed in the second part which 2 are u most guilty of violating?
  2. Think of one person who annoys you a lot. Now list out 2 things you admire in him/ her.
  3. Think of 2 things that worry you a lot. Now list out 3 reasons for each which you believe makes the worry less irksome.
  4. Name one person who gives you positive feedback and compliments. How often have you appreciated him/her? Have you tried to emulate him/her?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our  Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com