Tag: Asking

You can get what you want

7- Get what you want

Many of us are disheartened and disappointed in life because we believe that others are more blessed than us. We also view this as being unfair to us because in our view we are equally eligible for the largesse of life. The real issue however is the fact that we cannot pinpoint what we want. Most times what we want is what we suddenly envy in others who posses it. It is therefore essential that we clearly visualize, identify and decide what exactly we want for ourselves. This brings clarity to us, enables us to evaluate how we can attain it and most important ask and seek it. Yes getting what you want all begins with asking for what you want and this in turn means you begin by knowing what one want.

Ask – When we want something we need to ask for it if we are unable to get it on our own. The prerequisite for this step is to ensure we know what we want. It could be a material thing, it could be job or reference that you seek or it could even be exploring a relationship. Unless you ask others would either not be able to understand your want or they may not even notice your want or they would be so unsure about your requirements that they would prefer to be cautious and not even offer you anything. We do not ask for what we want because our ego won’t permit us to ask, we fear rejection of our request, we are embarrassed to ask or we are wary of the obligation that may come from those acceding to our request. Asking also has another dimension. Once we know what we want, it motivates us to ask ourselves for the required effort, commitment and perseverance to obtain what we seek.

Believe – If we ask we must believe that we are going to get what we sought. This is because we ask only when we are sure we know what we want and we are confident that by asking we can get it. Another reason to believe is the reality that we are then prepared to make best use of whatever we receive. A third reason to believe is the fact that if we are sure we will receive it we would be both cautious and reasonable in what we ask. At the same time don’t forget, that barring miracles and some lucky times, it would be silly to believe you would get anything that you don’t deserve. E.g. You don’t study and you pray for good marks or you have been rude and insolent to your parents and you ask them for something special and expensive for your birthday.

Receive If you ask with confidence and believe with full faith you must be ready to receive with arms open wide. You will receive in packages that defy logic, in a form that could surprise you and at times you least expect. Once you are prepared to receive all that you ask for and believe in keep looking for the arrival of the gift. Perhaps you are desperate for a job and you meet an influential person. That could be the beginning of you getting a job offer. At times when you are sure you deserve to get something and at the last moment it eludes you disappointment and frustration is logical. If you pause and reflect it maybe a hint of you having to expect more, work harder and receive a bigger reward. At times therefore, not receiving despite your conviction that you merit it, could suggest that you are to ask, believe and be prepared to receive something even more valuable and deserving.

Try this:

  1.  Can you recollect opportunities / prizes / awards that eluded you? On hindsight can you reflect on how that miss actually benefited you?
  2.  Attempt to do the following
  • Toss a coin 15 times and try to guess which way the coin will land face up.
  • Go to a basketball court and take 15 shots to score a 3 pointer basket.
  • Every morning list out at least 3 things that you will achieve before you retire to bed at night.
  • In the coming week listen carefully to people asking for something ( may be something tangible or seeking help ). Surprise at least one person by offering tangible help. Attempt to do this every week preferably for a stranger.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

 

The key to learning

He who is ashamed of asking is ashamed of learning.  – Danish Proverb

It was Rudyard Kipling who wrote the Poem that began as follows

I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.

Almost all of us have extensively used these six honest serving men throughout our school life and possible till we graduated. However thereafter most of us felt a little ashamed of using the questioning technique and preferred to remain in ignorant bliss rather than admit we lacked the knowledge. It is also possible that we continued to believe in some possibly mistaken notions. The reality of life is that there is far too much knowledge for any individual to grasp and absorb and so the only way forward is to humbly seek out the facts when we lack the knowledge; yet we have our psychological block of admitting our ignorance.

The technique of questioning had 3 distinct advantages.

It keeps us grounded to the reality that we have a lot to learn.

When we are willing to question, we are acknowledging our own limitations and weakness and readily accept the wiser counsel of others. It opens our eyes to the fact that it is not our intelligence alone that helps us to grow in life but our ability to harness the knowledge that is around us provided we first accept our personal limitations.

It facilitates us learning.

Questioning also helps us to search for answers and makes us aware of the need to seek out more intelligent people, find out more authentic information and search for new avenues of updating ourselves. When we ask questions we also are looking for answers. We use the questioning technique very effectively when we are faced with a problem and require some answers to progress ahead.

It enables one to connect dots and be creative.

Questioning is the best method to solve problems. By constantly seeking to find answers we would stimulate out thinking, dream up apparently illogical possibilities and succeed in finding unique solutions to our problems. Riddles that we asked in school may now look ridiculous and childish but provided the vital stimulant required to develop the spirit of questioning and sharpening our creativity. Eg  Two mothers and two daughters went for a picnic but they were only 3 of them. How is this possible? Or Name 3 consecutive days that does not include Sunday, Wednesday and Saturday in it.

In fact the questioning technique was the bass of most human progress. One of the key players in the development and enrichment of human thinking and philosophy is the Greek Philosopher Socrates whose Socratic Method of inquiry revolved around asking questions. Notice that the educational system irrespective of the discipline of study uses the questioning technique to evaluate the knowledge and aptitude of the students. Similarly the journalistic profession extensively uses the questioning technique to get quote and sound bytes to feature as news.  Researchers and scientists too use this technique to come up with new inventions, discoveries and improvements. Finally it is important to note that the questioning technique is what makes the human race very distinct from the other living creatures. Our evolution and progress can be solely attributed to our ability to use the six honest serving men effectively.

Remember: “Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.”  Benjamin Franklin

Try this:

  1. Play the game 20 questions in which the leader thinks of a well known personality and will respond only with a YES/ NO/ Pass (if they do not know the answer) to your questions. You have to ask questions and based on the response of the leader guess the personality in 20 questions.
  2. Ask yourself if you suffer from the following indicators of being question shy.
  • You are lost in a new city and struggling with the map but feel awkward to ask the local person to help out
  • You watch Formula racing and / Golf on TV but have yet to find out the rules of the games.
  • You recently shifted to a new home. You are finding it hard to make inquiries with the neighbors to know more about the locality and the important landmarks.
  • Your child’s progress report indicates that he/ she is lagging behind. Yet you do not make efforts to meet the teachers and learn more about the reason for the child’s poor performance.
  • You are invited by your host to a fancy restaurant serving French cuisine. The menu card lists all the dishes in French. You feel awkward to ask the steward to update you about the dishes.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com