Tag: Attitude

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Benefits of a dose of gratitude

Each of us has a lot to be grateful for. The mere fact that I am writing this and you are reading this means we are alive, we are blessed with the gift of sight, understanding and literacy and fortunately we also have the time and energy to pore over the contents of the blog. Do we really value these blessings or do we take them for granted. Do we focus only on the special things that we get out of the blue like winning a lottery or getting an unexpected bonus or promotion or topping an exam? Fact is that we have much to be grateful for. The little things we take for granted, the wonderful surprises that come our way and for the limited pain and hurt we occasionally endure. The bigger benefit of being grateful for however lies in the fact that practicing gratitude daily fills us with an overpowering sense of bliss, which comes because of the following:

Shift in perspective – For many of us, our natural tendency is to look at the negatives around us. This is partly to do with a primal instinct of self preservation from all dangers. However, over time this tendency to look at negatives has been so deeply ingrained in us, that we fail to notice the wonders around us. Apart from being  the most intelligent of the species in nature, human beings are gifted with abundantly more blessings that will allow one the luxury of drawing in happiness. However, this is possible only when one shifts focus from negatives to positives. By taking in a dose of gratitude each morning, the blessings in life suddenly become more visible, more tangible and more available for each of us to enjoy. It is a drastic shift in perspective triggered by practicing gratitude each day.

Feeling of abundance – One weakness of the human race is the tendency to compare with other human beings; be it our wealth, out looks, our intelligence or what we perceive as social status. No sooner one starts comparing with others, there is an overwhelming feeling of deprivation, of lack of something, of a longing for what others have and the desire and craving for more. What we forget in the process is that we are taking for granted an abundance of blessings we are gifted with. Our abundance is in every sphere; good health for most of us, a loving family life, great friends, adequate or more food, clothing and shelter etc. It is only when one practices gratitude that we begin to consciously pay attention to the abundance each of us has.

Decrease of fear and anxiety – The greatest benefit of practicing gratitude is that with the shift in perspective and the feeling of abundance, there is an immediate decrease of fear and anxiety. We know that our blessings far outweigh our concerns, that life has much more to offer than pure material wealth and that tomorrow is another day that one needs to take in her/ his stride. Each morning becomes a wondrous expectation for the day that unfolds will bring with it plenty of surprises; most of which are pleasant but then a few challenges/ pain will also be part of the day. By viewing things in the correct perspective and knowing that we are amply blessed, practicing gratitude is an extraordinary way of living life in bliss.

Try these:           

  • List out the three greatest blessings that you cherish.
  • What was your greatest emotionally painful moment? How did you cope with it? What was good about that painful moment?
  • Who are the three most important people in your life? The challenge is to restrict yourself to just 3 people. Have you told them how grateful you are for what they mean to you?
  • As I was writing this blog, I received a Wattsapp forward which I thought was apt for sharing with the readers of this post. I am attaching it, as it is, in a Word Document file. There is an Arabic Translation or possibly it is the original source and I have retained it for those who would better connect with it. Click on this link to read it. 18-30 -08 Oct 18- Gratitude_Message_30_08 Oct 18

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Keep up the good work

40- keep up the good work

We are nearing the end of this calendar year. This is a time when there is a tendency to look back and wonder how well the year gone by has been.  For many people there is a tinge of regret that one has not made the best of the time we were bestowed. We lament the missed opportunities, the strained relationships and our own tardiness in not being self starters and movers and shakers. Yet if we take a pause and focus on just all that we did right, all the successes we have enjoyed and the appreciation we have received, perhaps we would discover that the year gone by has been exceptionally good. We need to focus on the right actions we took, the good we encountered and our blessings rather than on trying to rationalize the negatives in our life.

An important lesson we can learn from appreciating the year gone by is that many of our successes  may not have created waves, nor would they have impacted many people or possibly they looked too trifle. Yet we recollect these moments because they made a difference to us. The reasons we value these moments and cherish it are as under:

  • We did it because we knew it was the right thing to do. E.g. stop our vehicle and help a disabled person cross the street or spend time with a friend facing a crisis or visit a sick person who yearned for some company.
  • We did not aim to please others as much as we did it to align our moral compass to our values. E.g. refusing to succumb to the temptation to copy despite knowing that you could fail in the exam or actively participating in a cause you root for even if it meant retribution from people in authority.
  • We did our best under the circumstances, for we focused on our strengths not our limitations. E.g. Volunteering to help when there is a calamity or Doing the most mundane task assigned because no one else was willing to do it.
  • We would have regretted not doing it then even if the consequences were hard on us subsequently. E.g. Making that extra effort to attend a friend’s wedding and sacrificing your annual visit to your hometown or sacrificing your free time and patiently teaching the neighbor’s kids mathematics because they were weak in it or sacrificing your weekends to help a new colleague settle down in the city.

Carry the spirit of doing what is right into the New Year and you will realize how blessed you are; you don’t need an applause, you don’t require special motivation, you don’t have seek approval and most of all you don’t have to ever regret anything you do.

Try these                                                            

  • Surprise 3- 5 people with an unexpected gift each.
  • Surprise yourself by trying to do something different. Maybe you could trying singing along with a carol singing group or become a Santa at the local departmental store or just experiment with your baking skills.
  • Start writing down your New Year resolutions. Ensure there are at least 2 things that you have never attempted in the past but want to give a serious try in the coming year.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Embrace yourself first…

39- Embrace yourself and be liberatedYour relationship with yourself and thereafter with the world around you, hinges on your ability to embrace yourself completely. Once you learn to accept yourself as you are, warts, moles, dimples,  and more, you will immediately realize that you could not have been created more perfect. At that point when you look around, you will realize that it is not just you, but everyone around   who has been created perfect but most of them have yet to make that one key observation or realization. Once you embrace yourself, three things happen that let you experience freedom from all anxiety, worry and tensions.

You begin to value your blessings – A lot of what you take did not like about yourself will now suddenly begin to feel valuable.  Assume you don’t like your face or your smile or your height or your frame but then when you start loving yourself you will view each of these with love. That is when you will understand that what you are blessed with is what makes you an unique individual, someone special to those around and someone who can with that crooked smile or fat frame still light up the lives of those around.

You stop comparing yourself with others – When you begin to love yourself you are never going to compare yourself with anyone else. You begin to appreciate and value your own personality, your strengths, your abilities and above all your uniqueness. There is no superiority or inferiority complex that will trouble you; there will not be any competition with anyone else other than your own potential and you will value every bouquet and brickbat that comes your way for it is proof of what you have achieved or can achieve.

You realize that you can do much with your life that you have been gifted – Going about daily chores including doing your mandated work is something no one can avoid. A person who embraces himself discovers that in addition he/ she can contribute much more by utilizing his/ her talents, gifts and abilities. It could be giving back to society or it could be through nurturing a latent talent or even a simple act of listening to others and spending time with people who crave for attention. The realization comes because you know that you will be accepted by others as you are and hence you find both the zest and the urge to make the best of your new realization.

It also enables you to fine tune yourself by

Changing your attitude – When you embrace yourself, you become less complaining, less critical, more appreciative, more tolerant and definitely more humane in though words and deeds. Your attitude is more open, liberal and welcoming. You see things from the prism of possibilities and positivity. You seek solutions and avoid excuses.

Believing in your potential – Your self-belief will let you test your limits. Your potential will translate into and practical involvement. You will never limit yourself. Instead you will attempt to discover new facets about yourself. Perhaps there is a latent poet within you; possibly  a passionate adventurer ; maybe a compassionate self yet to be put to the test. You will explore possibilities and your potential.

Gives you the courage to explore beyond – It is when you truly believe in your uniqueness and embrace yourself that you will dare to move beyond your comfort zone. You will take up challenges, be ready to test your limits, pick on a random praise from a well wisher and make it real. You may even take risks that you would never have dared like quitting your job to pursue your passion or giving up urban life to experience rural life.

The possibilities are immense; you have only to believe you are butterfly, love yourself as you are when in the cocoon and then break out of your cocoon. 

Try these

  1. Write a story or make a PPT or a short film of the special moments of your life and how you have journeyed with success so far. You are guaranteed to discover new facets about yourself that remained hidden so far.
  2. Read the poem The Psalm of Life (https://tinyurl.com/yc88ck56 ) by H W Longfellow. Choose one verse which appeals most to you. Analyze how and why it appeals so much to you.
  3. Make a list of 5-9 things that you want to do but haven’t seriously attempted yet. Now put a deadline to each and ensure you manage to give at least 2 of the items in the list a serious try within the next six months.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

An energy called YOU

28- An Energy called YOUThe sun is the universal source of energy but YOU are an equal source of energy, especially for the people around you and those in your circle of influence. If you didn’t cry at birth the doctors and the nursing staff, not to mention your parents would be very worried. Bet you put all your energy into crying loudly to announce your arrival and to proclaim that you carry with you, enough energy to transform the world. If you remained listless anytime during your tender growing up age, your parents would be very worried. It is your energy that was replicated in your zest that parents crave for. No doubt, too much energy can make you disruptive and mischievous but ask any parent and they would prefer that, to a dull submissive listless individual. Every individual is thus blessed with enough and more energy; but it needs to be channelized well.

You can ensure that your energies are best channelized by ensuring the following:

Having the right thoughts – Every action is triggered by the thoughts one has. Hence it is critical that one needs to be able to train the mind to be positive, confident and proactive. In a dynamic world, where there is constant turbulence minute to minute, our thoughts too keep churning at a rapid pace. It can oscillate from one extreme of unbridled happiness to the other extreme of despondency depending on the happenings around. Training the mind to have the right thoughts consists of being balanced in good times and in bad, developing the art of seeing the glass full no matter how desperate  the situation and being able to focus on a win win solution at all times.

Ensuring you have the right emotions – Emotions in simplistic terms are thoughts being converted into feelings. Since it is the thoughts that are converted into feelings, the feelings expressed would display the same characteristics of the original feelings. Negative emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy etc. would largely reflect the thoughts that triggered the emotion as much as hope, confidence, happiness etc. reflect the positive thoughts. It is possible though that despite entertaining negative thoughts like fear, anxiety, hopelessness etc. we can still retain control over our emotions and channelize them in a positive manner. E.g. Seeing failure as a stepping stone to success.

Taking the right actions – Both thoughts and emotions that remain bottled up merely traumatize a person mentally. It is the when one channelizes these thoughts and emotions into tangible action that the energy in you gets momentum and coverts itself into results. The right actions are overwhelmingly determined by thoughts and emotions but to get it right one has to take into consideration the ground realities. E.g. Anger is a perfectly legitimate thought and emotion when plans fail or things are messed up because of tardy execution. Expressing it is also a perfectly valid action to ensure that those responsible for triggering it, realize their folly. However, anger if expressed in a hostage like situation can be very counterproductive.

Since you are a very potent source of energy, you should be aware at all times about the tremendous power you have and ensure that you use it responsibly. More importantly learn to use it with confidence and integrity by aligning your thoughts, emotions and actions.  

Try these

  1. Think of a few situations where you were embarrassed by your own thoughts emotions and actions / /behavior. E.g. when you lost your temper or did not stand up for what was right or when you cheated in an exam etc.
  2. In the recent past did you succumb to the following:
  • Shouting at someone
  • Cheating in a game
  • Using foul language
  • Telling a lie
  • Becoming jealous
  • Intimidating someone

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

What really matters ?

22- 20 June 17-What matters is...The length of your life is not as important as the quality of your thoughts. Ideally the older we grow, it is assumed the wiser one becomes. This is largely true because of the variety of experiences one has gained; with each new day bringing its share of surprises, hopes, opportunities and regrets. Yet if one were to dispassionately look around, it is no surprise that there are so many mature people with dogmatic ideas, caught in a time warp because their mind has not kept pace with their age. The problem for many is that they find it difficult to embrace change, cope with new developments, adapt to evolving technology and accept the changing social customs and norms.

While we have no control over our age, we can with a little awareness, a wee bit of adaptability and by adopting the right attitude, train our mind to keep pace with the evolving world and seamlessly embrace it.

Awareness Most of us are caught in the mental trap called ‘ the good old days’. It is true that life was simpler, the pleasures that we got were largely from the outdoors, technology was not too complicated and family life was relatively stable and fun. However, with evolving technology came dramatic changes in life style, transportation, communication systems etc. While it made our life simpler it also disrupted the simplicity of living. Hard work was no longer the equivalent of physical labor but was more in the nature of longer hours at work in commuting and in meeting targets. Technological challenges were no longer mechanical challenges but keeping pace with the electronic revolution. The social fabric was myriad with changes; rate of divorces crept up, live in relationships and LGBT became the new buzz words and same sex marriages and surrogate children became passé. Be aware that one cannot turn the clock back and so one has to keep pace with the changes around.

Adaptability – Each of us has some sense of ethics, morals and values. Adaptability is holding on to those ideals without transgressing the right of others to hold on to their ideals. Making that mental adjustment is often fraught with frustration, fear and resignation. Having an open mind to embrace what does not fit into one’s frame of reference is a huge challenge for we begin to question our own value system. Similarly, the technological changes brings with it tremendous opportunity but sadly it also brings along with it the dangers of the misuse of the technology. Learning to use the technology can be challenging but when it is forced up on us we adapt to it. An open mind enables us to happily adapt to changing technology without it being forced down our throat like bitter medicine. Adaptability is all about making peace with change and embracing it with love.

Attitude Only when we have the right attitude will we become aware of the changes around us and begin to adapt to the changes. A good attitude enables one to see changes as a pathway to progress, development and evolvement. It also helps one look at the changes with wonderment, a fun activity to engage in and see it as tools of empowerment. One develops a positive, engaging and empowering attitude by training the mind to visualize opportunities, view changes from the prism of development and by focusing on what more rather than what was. The right attitude is the key to keeping an open mind; not judging, not denying and not condemning what goes on around us.

Try these

  1. Make a list of things/ technology/ social changes that first shocked you and then made you aware of how it impacts lives of people.
  2. List out three positive and three negative influences / impact that change around you has had on you.
  3. Look up a few TED talks and ask yourself what was new that you learned from the sharing in the talk.
  4. Look up a few video clips on various magic tricks. Does it fill your mind with the following thoughts?
  • How was it done?
  • I don’t believe it
  • Is it really happening?
  • Can I do it too?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Your personalized visiting card

16- Your visiting cardYour radiating smile is the first thing that enables people to connect with you. It is what they look for when they meet you and that is what they expect no matter what the interaction is about. A smile gives all parties comfort, confidence and a comprehensive platform to communicate. It does not matter if it is a toothy smile or a hearty laugh, it is the genuineness in it that gives it an unique identity. It is your logo that people identify you with; one that gives everyone who interacts with you an anticipation of what to expect when they are with you.

While a smile sets the tone, it is your overall demeanor, which will reflect your personality and your uniqueness. Your manners, your etiquette’s, your dress sense, your communication skills, your attitude, your ability to put people at ease, your commitment etc. enable others to respect and appreciate you as a dependable individual.

Just as the proof of the pudding is in the eating, it is the image that you leave behind after each interaction that becomes your trademark. The expertise and maturity you display in your interactions would be valued as much as your ability to get results. You will command respect and be rewarded with trust. You will be valued as through professional and be sought for first especially when the chips are down. Similarly how you deal with customers and employees would be reflected in their interactions with you. A good way to judge how they perceive you is to note how many of them are willing to come and share their concerns as well as successes with you.

When you command respect you would realize that your visiting card is being valued !

Try these:

  1. List out three changes that your will make to overcome some limitations that hamper your personality.
  2. Who are the three most dependable personalities you have encountered in your professional life. For each individual, list out three remarkable qualities that endear them to you.
  3. Write a tag line for yourself. ( In one sentence write down, what would you like to be remembered for )

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Learn to be happy right now

14- 5 April17- Learn to be happy right nowEvery day presents an opportunity but along it with it comes some challenges. Those who make the best of their life, focus on the opportunity and accept the reality that the challenges have to be coped with. Those who are frustrated are actually the people who fail to grab their opportunities and instead worry about the challenges they imagine, even before they encounter it. A classic case are students who stress themselves imagining the vastness of the syllabus, the complexity of individual subjects and their own distorted priorities that won’t allow them to prepare well. Suddenly exam time looms ahead and then they panic.

Happiness is a choice every individual makes no matter what the situation. Perhaps it would help to adopt the following rules to be happy:

Seek out positives – This is largely dependent on the attitude we adopt and how we train our mind. In every situation look out for what is good, find out how you can make the best of the opportunity and have the self belief that you can cope with it. Take a game like soccer and you will notice that the world class strikers create the opportunities to score goals. They don’t wait for the ball to come, they do not hope the defenders make mistakes but they believe that they are ready to muscle their way in and connect with the ball and score.

Downplay negatives – The first thing to bear in mind is that we are rarely alone when facing challenges so we need to get rid of the feeling of martyrdom. Look at challenges as temporary setbacks. Look at challenges as brining out the best in you; your talents, your creativity, your resilience and your self-belief. Do not let difficulties become the focus of your attention instead treat it like a handicap that every golfer loves to overcome.

Make it fun – The key to enjoying life is to have fun while living. Smile, joke, play, be creative, take some risks, enjoy your wins and do not let a failure dampen your spirits. The sweetness of success tastes sweeter when it is achieved by overcoming stiff competition, enormous challenges and under the most trying circumstances. The fun is in enjoying the process, the journey, the competition.

Try again – So you did all the above and yet you didn’t succeed. It sure hurts especially when you miss out by a whisker. Imagine a tennis player being two sets up and then going on to lose the next three sets. It sure hurts as hell. However, a professional would be back again with renewed confidence and vigor to rightfully claim back his title which he believed is his. The heart of winner shouts out I will be back. Make that your mantra too.

Make the right choice – Happiness is a choice. Take that choice every time. You don’t need a reason to be happy; just smile. When feeling low think of a joke, a humorous episode or incident, sing a song, admire the beauty around you. Simply distract yourself to something pleasant.

Try these:

  1. Make a list of your favorite jokes / humors incidents / comedy scenes from movies.  Bet you are having fun already simply recalling them.
  2. What are the three times in the recent past when you were challenged/ stressed? Can you think of something fun in the situation?
  3. Click on the following link and read up on what a SMILE means. http://tinyurl.com/mrutpkm

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Be like a seed

43-become-a-seed-and-then-growOver the past few posts, you would perhaps have noticed that the theme has generally centered on learning from nature how to grow and evolve. This time we look at how we can dump the past behind and begin anew and the learning comes from the seed; the very heart of all growth. So you have had some bad times, some tough times, you have been pushed into the ground – just like the seed. How did the seed react? It let it come completely undone, allowed its shell to crack and from the ruins of that destruction rose again to flower, grow and bloom.

So what are the lessons for us?

When you have reached the bottom you can only grow up- give yourself a chance. – So as you close the year gone by let your attention be on the gains, the achievements, the opportunities ahead instead of the losses, the failures and regrets. This will give you a goal to focus on, a motivation to plunge ahead and the grit to keep trying till you succeed.

Even when all seems lost – keep faith; have hope.  You would definitely have faced some low and despairing times during the year gone by but the reality is that your survived it.  Perhaps the dirt through which you had been dragged helped you grow stronger, be more resilient and it was your faith in yourself that gave you the hope to wait patiently till the tide turned an d things improved.

You will grow- just ensure you grow young not old – find a rebirth in your thoughts, attitude, behavior.  At some stage the seed would have found an escape when it began to sprout. So the dark and deep abyss in which you find yourself would nourish your whole being provided you do not succumb to fear and negativity. Wait in hope, look forward in anticipation and move ahead with confidence. Align your thoughts attitude and behavior and move grow with self belief and confidence. After all, fortune favors the brave.

Grow strong roots – spread your branches – values and character will enable you to focus on your goals and success- your risk taking ability your daring to chart your own course will enable you to spread your branches. Your upbringing, your schooling, your social circle and those influencing you would play an important role in ensuring you embrace the values and character that will stand you in good stead under all circumstances. Your personal characteristics, your ambition, your hunger for growth and success would determine how wide you spread your branches.  Like the tree that offers good shade, good fruits and provides the best timber you too must grow and contribute to the world around.

Nurture yourself – like good soil, quality fertilizer and bright sunshine that sustains the seed, fill yourself with boundless energy, take affirmative action and enjoy the creative manifestations of your efforts. Growth comes from daring to emerge from the cocoon that you have to break free from. Plan, prepare and pursue your growth for that is when one can nurture the self with purpose and passion. The fruits of your labor would be definitely sweet!

Try these:

  • Write down three quotes / proverbs that you value very much.
  • What are the 3 values or qualities that you admire most in your role model?
  • What is your greatest strength and what would you consider your worst weakness?
  • What is the one criticism that you often seem to hear?
  • What is the one major achievement you would work towards in the coming year?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Giving meaning to your life.

30-the-meaning-of-lifeAt some point in time, if not most of the time, each of us grapples with the question ‘What is the meaning of my life?’ Our problem is often the result of our inability to cope with either abundance of riches, ideas, options or because all these are in terrible short supply in our life.  Some of us struggle with the chaos in our life brought about by our fear of the future, the ghost of the past and the challenges of the present. Each of us also suffer, in varying degrees, from the seven deadly vices of sloth, gluttony, pride, envy, wrath, lust and greed which makes our life miserable and reignites the question ‘What is the meaning of our life?

The answer to this philosophical question actually lies in answering another more meaningful question ‘How do I give meaning to my life?’  The key word is the emphasis on the word MY LIFE! Yes I am sure my of existing life; the previous life is immaterial now and the afterlife, if such a thing exists, is a long way away. Once you decide that you and only you can lead your life, giving meaning to it becomes relatively simple. You choose, you live, you make life happen!

To give meaning to your life focus on the following:

Your thoughts – Everything you do starts in your mind. You need to train your mind to think with purpose, think rationally, be imaginative and to think positive. Since our thoughts determine our words and actions, pay attention to those triggers that make us emotional, get us worked up, make us irrational and those that plant a seed of doubt in our mind. Once you become aware of such negative thoughts, it becomes possible albeit difficult to rein in such thoughts and counter them with more positive and energizing thoughts. Every day will bring with it, its share of joys, concerns, opportunities and challenges. We often tend to discount or ignore the joys and opportunities and instead focus on the concerns and challenges that we face. Slowly our mind begins to wither away since it is now trained only to look out for trouble. Instead, if you count your blessings each day, the wonders that you have been gifted with and the chances that you get to move ahead in life all other troubles will seem to be insignificant in comparison. Start each day with a grateful heart; end each day with thanks for another good day. Whatever happens in between will then be something you can cope with, for by overcoming it is what makes your day, something to cherish and feel happy about.

Your words – Your thoughts have a large influence in how your thoughts, feelings and emotions are articulated and expressed. If you see challenges as opportunities to prove your mettle, you will look forward to it and express yourself with confidence, eagerness and excitement. On the other hand if you view it as an unavoidable task, you will start expressing your doubts, your concerns, find excuses for failure that you anticipate. Ask yourself what type of person you would like to deal with. The tone, tenor, style and choice of words would also reflect your mindset and attitude towards a task and your belief system. Be aware that sarcasm, insinuations, blame game and negativity in your communication often indicate your insecurity, your weakness and your inability to cope with stress. Practice the art of expressing yourself in a positive way; consider the recipient of your communication as a partner in your work, an ally who wants you to succeed and someone who believes in your abilities. The same feelings will percolate into your mindset and before long you would succeed in seeing positive life changing meaning in your daily life.

Your deeds – It is said that the ‘proof of the pudding is in the eating’. Ultimately your thoughts and words must be reflected in the actions you perform. Giving platitudes and sermons is relatively easy; traversing that path is definitely much more difficult. A simple act of listening carefully could sometimes be extremely difficult because you have strong negative emotions about the other party and / or the situation. Your deeds are not merely what you do, but how you do it. Do you bang the door when you leaving your bosses cabin after a stormy meeting? Do you do an unpleasant task with grace? How do you deal with a cranky elder at home? Do you constantly nag your spouse and/ or children? Can you maintain a cheerful countenance even during a very stressful situation? Remember that Actions speak louder than words!

Try these:

  1. Volunteer to baby sit a child who is between the ages of 3-5. If the child is hyperactive or challenged, you would learn a lot more from the experience about your own temperament, patience, creativity, attitude and self belief.
  2. Spend one evening every month in an orphanage / old age home / hospice / home for the challenged. What feelings did you experience? Ask yourself what can you do on your own to make life more comfortable there.
  3. List out the names of 5 people with whom you have difficulty in getting along. Now choose one of them and make a determined effort to be genuinely nice to them for an extended period of time. Did it bring about a positive change in you and the other person? Do you think you were being unfair to judge the other person wrongly? Do you think you can try this experiment with other people on your list?
  4. Make a list of all the negative words / phrases / excuses / tone / foul language that you often resort to, especially when annoyed/ irritated / confused/ frustrated. Can you make a determined effort to eliminate these and substitute them with some positive reinforcements?  Can you feel a change in yourself after adopting a positive approach?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The control challenge

21- The control challengeOne of the major reasons we are stressed is because we are unable to keep our emotions in check when faced with a dilemma or confusion or problem. We then get overwhelmed, fearful and react impulsively.  Our reactions are often in anger, frustration and despondency. Rational behavior takes a back seat, the challenge of the moment looks ominous and damage control is our instinctive allay which then becomes the focus of our attention. If ever one who faced a crisis behaved in this manner, there would be very few who survived disasters. If every researcher adopted the same attitude there would be very few discoveries. Every major war is testimony to the resilience of the vanquished and destroyed, to rebuild and grow despite the severity of their ruins physically, financially and mentally. So what is it that makes the human race change, progress and succeed despite the upheavals, the disasters and the disruptions that seem to perennially confront them?

The answer lies in how one responds. The key is not to react but to respond. The difference between the two is in how you control your attitude, your thinking and your actions.

Attitude: Do we visualize a problem as a disaster or as challenge to be overcome. It is our attitude that will determine our perception of the challenge on hand. Those who are fearful, those just wanting to plod forward and those who are faint hearted would look at obstacles as useless, irritating and insurmountable. They would then settle for compromise solutions rather than a resolution of the problem. On the other hand those having supreme confidence in their own abilities, those who seek long term solutions and those willing to take on a challenge would approach every problem with a ‘ seek the hidden solution’ attitude. They too would get irritated at times, would feel frustrated momentarily, be tempted to give up. However, they resolve to effectively  tackle the challenge even if it takes time, even if they have seek help from others and even if the world around belittles and criticizes their efforts. They have the positive can do – will do attitude.

Thinking : Our attitude will determine how we approach a situation. Those who are positive and determined to find solutions would rein in their negative emotions of fear, anger, disappointment and frustration. Instead they would bring into play their strengths, realign their thinking to seek solutions and refocus their attention on varied possibilities in order to overcome the challenge on hand. The will not hesitate to seek the expertise of others; they would be keen observers and listeners for they are sure there exists a solution that they just need to discover. They do not let the problem slip from their mind but they keep mulling over it to let the subconscious work on it. Their thoughts are focused on responding to the challenge rationally, logically and decisively

Action: There are times when quick action holds the key and there is little time to elaborately think and plan. Emergencies are classical examples be it a natural disaster, a fire, an accident or  even events like missing a flight or losing your mobile/ wallet. Even in such situations, the action must not be purely impulsive (it will be largely  impulsive when your life itself is threatened like if you are in a building that is on fire, since self preservation is a natural instinctive mechanism for survival) but taken with a calm and cool head. Controlling panic whilst seeking a solution would provide more possibilities. The action must be taken decisively and not tentatively; this is possible when the action plan is based in clear headed thinking and with full awareness of the consequences. The action must be to arrive at a solution with minimum damage.

Try these:

  1. Pick up a news paper and attempt to solve the crosswords or similar puzzles that appear in it. Your attitude, thinking and action would be reflected in how you respond to this challenge.
  2. List out three instances when you panicked. What was the final outcome of those situations? What role did you play in each of the given situations?
  3. Of the three key points listed above which of them is your primary problem.
  • Attitude – By nature are you and optimist or a pessimist
  • Thinking – Can you think both logically and creatively or do you prefer to follow instructions?
  • Action – Are you a self starter or do you like to act as instructed.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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