Tag: Be Positive

Get moving – keep progressing

33- Open the gates

How often do you wistfully think about the opportunities lost, the golden chance that you missed and rue your inability to be decisive and experience something different? We are largely creatures of habit and so we prefer to trod the beaten path, remain cocooned in our own little world and are apprehensive about exploring beyond. While our heart would want to take a chance our mind would normally override that urge by popping up imaginary risks and cautioning us against any misadventure, least we fail. Our real problem is not failure but the fear that we could be triggering trouble if we fail. We do not want to take the responsibility and so we remain mute spectators to the numerous opportunities that fate packages for us.

The trouble for many is 4 fold. Once a person can come to terms with these 4 limiting factors, the sky is the limit.

Recognizing the opportunity – This is the toughest part of setting yourself free from the confines of your mental and emotional prison. You can identify an opportunity only if you are seeking it. Many of us are afraid to dream, scared to think big, see lurking danger in being different and so just go along with the flow. Those whom we envy, are people who have dared to visualize something special for themselves and by focusing on that goal suddenly found themselves grasping the opportunity that they craved. Go on make a list of 10 things you always wanted to do or possess. Look at that list daily and notice how you suddenly seem to be noticing opportunities to attain that.

Inability to see the risk reward payoffs – The bigger the risk the larger the payoff. Of course conversely, the bigger the fall too. If we keep thinking about the failure, then you will attract it as you are not focusing on the opportunity but trying to insure yourself against failure. Once you can see the goal you have set for yourself, then it becomes easier for you to outline the roadmap to reach there. Without that roadmap, you will go around in circles. The payoff for bigger risks is the price you pay in terms of effort, sacrifices, stress, criticism and loneliness. If you trust yourself to reach the finish line then nothing can stop you and you will get that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So will you now invest in buying a lottery ticket or taking part in a competition?

Being persistent – Quick results are the bane of those who begin a venture. Just like those who go gyming cannot get to see the result of their efforts within a week, risk takers who dare cannot expect to find success overnight. Persistence is the one quality that will lead to success. Continuous effort with faith in one’s goal and ability and the spirit to weather any storm are guideposts along the highway of success. There are times when you want to give up or question your own wisdom about continuing and yet if the little voice in your heart says don’t give up yet then give it your best shot daily. Look for the little progress to motivate you to keep pecking away like the woodpecker.

Knowing when to change tracks – There is a thin line between persistence and foolhardiness. This is perhaps even tougher to identify than finding one’s goal. It is easy to have lofty goals but very tough to recognize when the goal set is beyond your personal ability. Not all effort gets rewarded in proportion to the effort. Not all plans fructify the way one has envisioned. The ability to accept that the way ahead is not worth persisting with and the daring to cut one’s losses, takes a special sort of courage. It does not mean giving up but merely choosing a better alternative. Notice that when businesses merge, the also ran’s are not caving in to the market leader but merely acknowledging that it is the best time to cash out.

Unless you dare you cannot do; and unless you do you cannot win !

Try these:

Here are a few dares

  • Not accessing your email or mobile or social media for 48 hours
  • Singing a solo song in a foreign language at an office get together
  • Recording yourself mimicking 3 of your office colleagues and showing it to those colleagues
  • Surprising an office colleague with a an expensive gift on his /her birthday

Attempt to make some dramatic changes as under:

  • In your dressing style
  • In your communication style
  • In your personal space at work and home

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

                www.poweract.blogspot.com

You can make a difference for yourself

32- Go on and enjoy the differenceThe average person is never ever happy or satisfied with his/ her own life. The prime reason for this is their boredom with the routine, their inability to comprehend the value of their contribution to the profession they are in and of course due to man’s inherent weakness to compare and get jealous or envious. What is not really apparent is that human beings also do not want to move away from their existing comfort zone even if that is apparently merely providing subsistence. This is because any change would involve a certain amount of pain; be it adapting to a new environment, the uncertainty of the future or the fear of falling from the frying pan into the fire. Ironically, without change growth is not possible and as a result we prefer to remain stunted rather than venture into the unknown. Imagine if all the fears that we now experience had begun in childhood; we would never have learnt to walk for fear of falling, never learnt to write for fear of being untidy, never learnt to cycle or swim for fear of hurt and injury.

So how do we break out of the cycle of worry, anxiety, fear and frustration that many of us find ourselves in?

Tweak our attitude – Start by focusing on what you are blessed with. Move on to thinking about your personal achievements and the appreciation you have received over the years. Now that you have a lot to be grateful for, move your attention to having bigger dreams, setting loftier goals and mapping out a road map to attain your goal. You will now be having larger self belief and a very positive attitude towards the future.

Visualize the possibilities – At various times in our growing up years we would have had varied interests, dreams, hopes and passions. For a variety of reasons we may have let go of many of our dreams and passions to become more pragmatic and make a more logical choice for our future. Yet, there is ample scope to weave in our dreams, hopes, interests into our life and possibly even into our profession. The trick lies in visualizing how we can still pursue our first love and integrate it into what we do. E.g you love football but today you are a software engineer. You can still see yourself playing for decent team on weekends or you could be coaching school kids in the evenings or weekends or you could develop software that could prove useful to aspiring footballers.

Venture out with faith – Perhaps most of you reading this so far, would have already concluded that visualizing possibilities is difficult but believing that it can be executed is impossible. Everything is possible if you are passionate enough to take the risks and attempt it. You will take the risk only when you start believing that you can attain it. The most important step is the first step; starting out with faith and hope. Most of us kill our ideas without even pondering over it. Remember all progress was made by individuals who believed in themselves and set the tone for others to emulate.

Be open to feedback – Listening is the bedrock of learning. Doing is essential but ensuring that you are doing the right things and doing it right is the only way to succeed. It is important therefore to keep ones eyes and ears open to comments, observations, suggestions, caution and encouragement that people around will make. There is wisdom in all these comments; some are constructive suggestions, others critical, some foolish and a few insightful. The wise man will profit from all these feedback if we listen carefully and keep an open mind whilst evaluating the relative merit of the suggestions.

Keep the goal in mind – If you want to make a difference to your life constantly focus on it. If you take your mind of the goal then the change you seek will be painful and the growth you covet excruciatingly painful too. It is like beginning to work out to keep in shape. The muscles will be inflexible, the body too rigid, the breathing very labored, the discipline too demanding. Time and time again one would be hoping to see some miraculous change but alas unless one keeps up with the rigors continuously, the change will never come about. To keep you going one would have to imagine the end result as the goal to be achieved. In the same way if you want to make a difference to your boring, monotonous and insipid life imagine the passionate, interesting and fast paced life first. Now set about doing all that is needed to attain it. If you have to go back to upgrading your education do it; if you have to sacrifice something major just do it; if you have to earn the wrath of well wishers and friends still do it; after all it is your life that you want to change and make a difference,

Try these:

  • List out 1 major change you plan to bring about in each of the following areas of your life; your personality / work / relationships / finances / lifestyle
  • Choose from any one of the following options or add one of your own that you will ensure that you get really skilled in the next 6 months

Chef / Magician / Tour guide / Dog trainer / Maths or Music teacher / Counselor / Writer

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

It is ok to be not okay…

27- Not ok so whatUnhappy, disillusioned, confused, hurt, resentful, angry, listless, tired, ignored, unlucky;. Do you experience these emotions / feelings off and on? Do you feel like the only person facing these problems? The reality is that almost every one experiences these intermittently. However, the problem arises when we frequently experience negative emotions, find it difficult to ignore these emotions and worst of all succumb to the pressures of these emotions. Most of these emotions are temporary, largely fleeting and often a byproduct of wild negative thinking. However, it is important that we do go through the feeling of not feeling okay; of being uncomfortable, disturbed and pained. When we experience a situation that disturbs our peace of mind it is essential that we accept it as a painful reality. What is not acceptable is denying it, questioning it, constantly whining over it and making it control our life. When one can make peace with the painful reality, one can appreciate the fact that such not okay feelings actually accentuate the value of the positive emotions and feelings that we are blessed with.

The challenge is to experience being not okay and managing to get back to the okay state. It is like knowing how much one can stretch a rubber band. Stretch it beyond a point and it will snap. Like that broken rubber band, if one lets the not okay feeling to overpower one’s emotions, one becomes irrational, broken in spirit and body and then surrender to mediocrity, mere sustenance and survival. Being not okay implies that we are made aware of our imperfections and limitations. It also keeps us grounded to the reality that not all our efforts can give us the fruits we desire. It also spurs us to make adjustments, re-evaluate our original plans and make a fresh start. However, the danger is that when we are not okay, at times we get demoralized, disheartened and dispirited. There is then a possibility of us giving up and not making any effort to get back on track. History teaches us that even the most successful people have always encountered challenges and it is their self belief and determination that have made them rise up again and climb the pedestal of success.

Here are 6 guiding principles to navigate the not okay state and come back to the okay state.

  1. The past cannot be changed but the lessons it provides are to be learnt well.
  2. The future exists for us to utilize it wisely without having the hangover of the past.
  3. The present is where life happens and we better not waste it brooding over the past or ring fencing the future.
  4. Learn to appreciate and value the good in every adverse situation.
  5. Be prepared to face the unexpected no matter how well you have planned for the future.
  6. Today offers you 24 hours to utilize all the lessons learned, to attain your goals; don’t squander it away.

Try these:

  • Suppose you were mistakenly locked up in prison for a crime you didn’t commit but there is no possibility of immediate release and a long term prison term of 5 years at least what would you do ?
  • You have committed a terrible mistake which you managed to cover up well. However an innocent member of your team was blamed and he/ she was sacked unceremoniously. You have always regretted your silence in the matter. 6years later you come face to face with the unfortunate victim of your misdeed. What would you do?
  • Can you recall 3 incidences / episodes / happenings / events in your life that really disturbed you when experienced it. How did you cope with each such situation? Do those events still play on your mind?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Leveraging your anger

22 - 6Aug15-channelise your angerAll our negative qualities have possibilities of being harnessed and channelized into productive action. Negative qualities are akin to nuclear power, which is largely understood as being a destructive force because of the Atom Bomb and is unfortunately not well known for being a rich source of productive energy, used widely for generating electricity. Anger is a common enough human impulse and largely manifests itself in sudden and provocative outbursts often laced with violence and expletives. The consequences are fear, equally reactive anger, mistrust, bad blood and a breakdown of meaningful communication. Anger converts itself in disruptive, unproductive, wasted energy.

Since anger is a natural response that we are all born with, we cannot eliminate that emotion. However, it is possible for each of us to harness its power by our own proactive initiative and channelize it into a utilitarian energy that will bring us peace, happiness and results. Here are ways to channelize anger into productive energy:

Release it gently – When angry, most people react aggressively with a raised voice, a string of expletives, level unsubstantiated allegations, cast aspersions on others and vitiate the environment. At times, an expression of anger is justified in order to grab attention, emphasize authority, highlight the importance of an issue or merely to get rid of pent up emotion. However bursts of anger must be well controlled, appropriately directed and sparingly resorted to, so as to be effective. Ideally one must be able to channelize anger like a laser beam to pinpoint the problem and cull it before it spreads. Anger must not be expressive; it must not be demonstrative; it must only be sharp, incisive and administered in the right dosage and focused on resolving an issue without destroying the relationship.

Channelize it appropriately – When anger is expressed, it often transpires that there is more collateral damage done than intended. Often the anger is directed at the wrong person or issue, the expression of anger is completely disproportionate to the problem being tackled, it creates more psychological trauma than effective problem resolution and often on hindsight one would realize that it was both futile and stupid to have let off so much steam and become emotionally drained. To channelize anger appropriately the trick is to distinguish between a problem and a person. Never end up shooting the messenger. Do a root cause analysis and then focus on the real problem without flying off the handle impulsively.

Burn it up productively – President Abraham Lincoln once famously remarked that ‘Write a letter when angry and you would have written the best letter you ever regretted’. The beauty of the wisdom in that observation lies not in what is apparent but in the immense possibility it holds to productively burn up our anger. Express your anger in private; shout, scream, rave, rant, write down all your feelings, fling things around but do so when alone and then tear off what your wrote, clean up the mess you created and by then you would have regained your equilibrium and expended your pent up emotions. When angry take deep breathes and count to 10 if still angry count another 10 and so on till your breathing stabilizes and your anger subsidies. Don’t forget that anger is just one alphabet short of danger.

Make anger your anchor. – When there is a tempest in your life, frustration and anger coupled with self pity aggravate your plight. The anger that wells up within could turn into a poisonous gas that can explode; but you can, with a strong will and determination, rationalize and convert it into a strong anchor that will steady your thoughts and enable you to weather the storm. The satygraha movement that Gandhiji resorted to, is one of history’s best examples of how anger was anchored to help a nation win freedom from its foreign rulers. In daily life, if one is unfairly criticized and anger wells up within, use that energy to perform efficiently with vengeance and then prove your worth to those who criticized and tormented you. They will view you in a new light; with a wee bit of remorse and a large dose of admiration at your efficiency and equanimity that you displayed despite the provocation. Try not to react to anger but absorb the energy that anger generates and direct it towards a productive goal. Imagine yourself to be a batsmen using the pace of the ball to skillfully direct it between the fielders to score runs.

Try these:

  1. Recollect the times when you got really angry and how did you react to the provocation for that anger. On hindsight was you anger justified? Would you have reacted differently today?
  2. Which of the following styles do you adopt when angry? Now that you realize it, how would you try to avoid that approach?
  • Be sarcastic
  • Be explosive
  • Blame / criticize others
  • Keep your anger pent up
  • Be constantly irritated and complaining
  • Express self pity
  • Shun people and go into a shell

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The real YOU

14- 10 Jun 15-The real YOUThere is a different prism through which we can see ourselves more clearly; uncomplicated, realistic and honestly. That prism is through the eyes of others who are around you, with who you interact, your colleagues, friends, family and even worthy opponents. They value you not in terms of your wealth, your education or your achievements but seek out the person you really are by stripping of the external trappings and going into your individuality.

This is how your individuality is seen by others and your worth assessed by others.

Kindness = Greatness – Can you stop and help a blind man cross a road? Would you be able to spend time with the aged and infirm who are in institutions. Would you be able to respond charitably to those who may have wronged you? Can you forgive or be magnanimous to acknowledge your fault? There are numerous opportunities to give of yourself and be kind to those who seek your indulgence. Do you seize the opportunities to let them pass by either because you are not inclined to or because you believe someone else will take care of the same? Citations and awards maybe cherished by you and seen as the pinnacle of achievement but it is in giving of yourself that your greatness is brought to the fore.

Modesty =Education and intellect – The college degrees, the merit certificates, the academic performances are just a formal way to acknowledge an individual’s academic performance. To some extent they are also a barometer of a person’s intellect. However, the true worth of one’s education and intellect is reflected in the person’s ability to be humble, modest and graceful to the less equals. Making tall claims, boasting, names dropping, self centered conversations, refusal to respect and appreciate others, running down people etc. are some definite pointers to academics not translating into sound education and appreciable intellect.

Suspicion and prejudices = Ignorance – Insecurity, mistrust, ignorance are negative traits that trigger the mind to be suspicious and prejudiced. The tendency to read too much between the lines, casting aspersions on others, being biased, playing favorites, planting the seeds of doubts etc. are sure signs of a deeper malady of suspicion and prejudice. In reality it reflects one’s ignorance about one’s own competence and also betrays one’s ignorance about the complications and damage that one is inflicting by such behavior.

Consideration and tolerance = Caliber – While personal achievement demonstrate one’s ability, the caliber of an individual goes much beyond personal ability. When an individual can not only perform well but can influence others to give off their best, that is when the real caliber of the individual is on display. Great coaches are a prime example of people with exceptional caliber for they are able to get the best out of their wards. Similarly, team leaders whose teams achieve excellence and retain both the competitive and the team spirit are people with excellent caliber because often they would have to groom people far better than themselves with a healthy dose of encouragement, motivation, firmness and flexibility. Caliber is excellence put to the test and coming up triumphant.

Try these:

  • List out the names of 3 individuals who you have personally interacted with and who you believe are modest people. Pinpoint at least one incident / happening for each individual that made you come to this conclusion about them.
  • Outline 2 of your pet suspicions about others and 2 of your frequent prejudices. Do you have any tangible evidence or proof to harbor such thoughts?
  • Next time you are in a one to one conversation with another individual consciously make it a point to count the number of times you use the word ‘I’ or ‘my’ in your conversation.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Expereince Freedom

13- 6 June 15 FreedomBy and large each individual would like to be unfettered from the expectations of others, have the courage to live their dream and be insulated from the barbs, the criticism, the finger pointing and the ‘I told you so ‘reactions of those around us. We long to be free from the clutches of the pressures of ‘conformity’ that society at large subtly exerts on us. While social norms and personal values remain the guideposts of our life, anything outside this ambit would be seen as a curtailment of our freedom. The reality is that far too often we do not have the daring to challenge these restrictions because we are not self confident, we would like to avoid disagreements and most of all because we tend to take all of forms of feedback personally.

Yes you can enjoy personal freedom when you can bring about a balance between retaining your personal norms and self imposed norms in order to get approval of others. The latter is extremely difficult because as human beings we resent any criticism or negative feedback. Unfortunately we live in a world filled with individuals who are quick to spot and comment on anything that does not confirm to their personal standards. So your hairstyle, dress sense, gestures, choice of words, career choices, friends circle etc. are all constantly under the scanner and since we cannot please everyone we tend to try and please the majority. No sooner we do this we feel losing our dignity, independence and freedom to be what we really are.

To enjoy your freedom and explore all dimensions of your life review the following

Do you always seek approval of others? This can manifest in many ways; be it constantly expecting others to notice your new wardrobe / hairstyle etc. or always seeking permission to do anything off beat or different. You would always be constrained from enjoying and doing what you love because the approval of others is vital for you to feel the joy of being yourself.

Do you succumb to the temptation of being critical? This is reflected in the frequency with which you play spoilt sport or being sarcastic or prone to giving backhanded compliments to others. With such a mindset you would often alienate people and in turn be prone to be constantly at the receiving end of similar jibes from others. Your mind is then either preoccupied with being critical or the fear of being criticized. How can you then experience freedom of mind and body?

Do you hold back, anticipating disapproval? You are fascinated by a new dress/ gadget / holiday plan etc. but stop short of indulging because you are worried about disapproval from others. You are shackled by the chains of approval syndrome.

Are you wary of trying new and different experiences? You want to attend a new play or musical but it is a genre that you have never heard about or know anything about and so you drop the idea. Maybe you want to visit a new restaurant serving oriental food / Greek cuisine / African fare but you immediately get imaginary thoughts about the contents / taste/ presentation /ingredients being so alien to your senses and hence do not go ahead with your initial plans. Your mind is not free of wild imagination running riot.

Do you tend to brood a lot over any criticism or negative feedback? So if someone in authority criticizes your work or a close friend passes a negative comment or if you overhear something negative said and assume it is about you and you are preoccupied rationalizing the comment or justifying to yourself how wrong the others are, you would have already sacrificed your freedom on the altar of perfection.

Do failures or the thought of failure overwhelm you? The real shackles that most people find themselves bound by, is the fear of failure. Once a person fears failure then inevitably they lose the capacity to be independent, experimental, adventurous and original.

Freedom is never about being right it is about being able to march to the tune in your head, the beat that only you hear and walking towards a goal that only you and you alone can see. Don’t ever take things personally be it your own fears, others criticisms or disapproval’s, your doubts or your failures.

Try these:

  1. Make an inventory of the numerous odds and ends lying in your house that you would like to get rid off. Now try to sell these ( garage sale / advertise it / sell it online etc.) and donate the proceeds to charity.
  2.  Jot down the following
  • Name of an individual ( who you interact with regularly) who you loathe.
  • Your worst nightmare / fear.
  • Your one regret in life as on date.

Now for each of the above write down 3 – 5 positive things that you can think of.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The past is behind… begin now and march ahead !

10- 22 April 15- Lessons from the pastOne of the big millstones that weighs down and defeats people, is the regret that they have of their past and their mistaken belief, that they have missed the boat to success. It is true that every one of us would have something in the past that we would desperately want to edit and redo; yet the past is only a mirage that cannot be revisited but we must not convert that into a regretful flashback put on permanent loop. On the contrary, successful people have build their success by learning the lessons from their past, being cautious not to repeat the mistakes and occasionally tweaking the lessons learnt to make another attempt. (Read this to get insight of the FedEx billionaire Fred Smith http://tinyurl.com/ln9xxbq )

In fact, your past provides you an excellent reference point to value your achievements. Whatever your failures, disappointments, frustrations and / or regrets you are here today reading this post because your past could not define you as a defeatist nor could it destroy your strong will nor could it deter you from pursuing your dreams and neither did you concede defeat to the past failures. Your past has made you more determined, disciplined and daring; in short it has strengthened you.

The challenge now is to make optimum use of the strength that you posses. This can be done by consciously working on your GAME

Your Goals – Unless one has an objective and a plan, there would be neither purpose not progress. Well thought out, written goals will provide us the direction and the roadmap to march ahead. Never forget that the a journey of a 1000 miles begins with the first step. Writing down your goals is the first step in your march towards success. You must have goals for varied dimensions of your life be it personal goals, professional goals, academic goals, self development goals, relationship goals, spiritual goals etc. Writing down your goals will bring clarity, ensure attentiveness, help monitor your progress and provide you motivation and self worth to pursue it with passion.

Your Attitude – Like New Year resolutions that we all cynically believe are meant to be broken, even written down goals will remain on paper with no progress being made unless one adopts the right attitude to attain the goals. Progress could be slow, impediments could be many, there could be occasional failures and disappointments but remember every successful person has overcome all these because they had the can do, will do attitude. No goal is too big or too small. In fact the small goals are the stepping stone to success for with every small goal attained you would have traversed many mile forward to attaining your larger goal. Yes you too can eat an Elephant slice by slice!

Your Motivation – Even the most disciplined individual will have to confront the demons of self doubt, slow progress, discouragement from others and at times even the ignominy of ridicule and taunts from critics. One must be able to identify both an extrinsic motivation and more importantly and intrinsic motivation to provide the energy, the nourishment and the impetus to keep marching ahead ignoring all protestations of mind and body. Your goals must exceed your grasp for that is when one is motivated to aim higher, reach further and progress beyond one’s comfort zone and discover a new world, a new destination and a new person in you.

Your Efforts – Now that you have read so far, it is time you actually walked the talk. So write down your goals, the positive words /adjectives that could determine / outline the attitude needed and identify the motivation that will drive you to attain your goals. Don’t forget that your goals are not mere statements of good intent but definitive, positively articulated tangible outcomes. Ensure that each one of your goals is a SMART goal i.e. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time bound. By now you have the drift of what is expected of you; not platitudes of good intent but a tango of mind and body that will bring you closer to realizing your full potential, leverage your hidden strengths and give you the euphoria of success.

Who cares what happened in the past? The GAME is on…this moment is as good a time as any to begin and win !

Try these:

I often get emails (actspot@gmail.com) requesting help in finding the best way to improve an individual’s English Language Skills. Here are some ways but you will have to convert them into your own personal goals. Cultivate the right attitude, find the appropriate motivation and put in your efforts to progress in mastering English.

  • Read a lot ( could be Readers Digest / English Newspapers / Magazines / Comics / Fiction / books related to your profession etc.)
  • Look up words in the dictionary and also check for alternative in a Thesaurus
  • Most English language newspapers have a recreation page with crosswords , comic strips, other resources. Make it a habit to consciously attempt some of these daily. This is a fun way to learn new words and the meanings.
  • Cultivate English speaking friends and make a conscious effort to speak in English. Encourage your friends to correct you so that you get feedback and can improve. Make a determined effort not to speak in your native tongue.
  • Watch English movies with sub titles so that in case you do not understand the spoken language you can still grasp the words from the sub titles.
  • Write one page atleast, every day. This could be in the form of a dairy of daily happenings or it could be your thoughts and feelings or it could be a summary of your reading or random thoughts and musings. Once you start writing, you would be well on your way to becoming excellent in English for that is the culmination of the GAME you started and your Efforts will pay off.

What are the passions you always wanted to indulge in but never had the time / resources / courage to pursue? ( e.g. learn dancing , go hiking, visit Europe, write my own blog, work with an NGO, start my own business, give lectures, become a crusader for a cause etc.) Select a couple of them and put it in your list of Goals. Use the SMART goal formula to make these attainable goals. You should now be able to definitely attain your goals within the time-frame you have set.

Go through this list of positive words, that can trigger your imagination to determine other words, which will help you have the right motivation and attitude to achieve your goals.

Be yourselfThis post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.com

Inner peace

9- 14 April 15 -Inner peaceDespite our best efforts to retain our equanimity, we often end up upset, annoyed, irritated, hurt, frustrated and fearful at times. Obviously these emotions make us anxious, stressed and could trigger panic in us too. We lament that we do not have peace of mind and quickly delve into finding a balm in our religious texts, search for spiritual insights or bottle up our agony keeping silent and aloof or going the other extreme by putting on a false bravado and pretence of exuberance. No matter what we do, finding inner peace becomes more challenging, stressful and at times completely elusive. The reason peace eludes us is because we hope  for peace within by seeking its solutions outside.

Like happiness, peace is an inside job. What one needs to do is focus on the following:

Appreciate what you have – It is a natural human tendency to take for granted all that we are blessed with. Unfortunately, when do not really become aware of how blessed we are be it in the form of good health, a loving family, material and financial wellbeing etc. our mind focuses on what we do not have. We then crave for it, get obsessed with it and if we are fortunate to get it turn our attention very soon to another one of our longings/ desires.

Accept the reality but work to change it – Change is the one constant in our life and far too often every change does bring with it a host of challenges. Initially we fight change hoping that the change is temporary, then we hope to adjust to it and most of the time thereafter we keep fighting to resist accepting the change. On the other hand if one accepts the reality, as we often do when we lose a loved one, then we can focus better on coping with the reality that stares us in the face. Passed over for a promotion, sudden pink slip got, sudden financial outflow for unexpected illness of a loved one, these and many more are changes that swoop down on us, give us a hard knock and yet give us scope to cope and offer us new insights, fresh possibilities and certainly hope for something even better.

Seek solutions instead of brooding over problems – Every problem disturbs ones peace of mind. However, a problem remains a problem as long as one does not find a solution. So one can restore one’s peace of mind only when we find solutions to our problems. As long as we do not attempt to find solutions to our problem we are merely sacrificing our peace of mind. Parents have problems with truant children; spouses have marital discords off and on, there are numerous problems that arise at the work place, fresh graduates have problems finding jobs, there many who have to cope with illness and pain and the list goes on. Instead of worrying about the problem seek solutions be it asking for help, seeking expert advice, finding alternatives, resolving differences or simply accepting what can’t be changed.

Focus on the above you would never notice people or situations impacting your life and disturbing your peace of mind for you have already taken charge of your negative emotions by consciously pursuing actions that yield positive results.

Here is a cartoon that aptly encompasses all the 3 points.

Inner-Peace-Accept RealityTry these:

  • When disturbed, what are the feelings / emotions that overwhelm you?  Anger / frustration / helplessness / sadness / emptiness / agitation / confusion / panic. How do you cope with these feelings so as to calm yourself down?
  • What are you favorite stress busters? Check if these stress busters have turned into addictions (e.g. smoking). Think of new possibilities / ways that can become stress busters.

This post is courtsey www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

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Our two lives

4-28 Feb 15-Our two livesWe are not talking about this life and after life. Yet in a matter of sorts, it is an afterlife that comes, once we realize that for the larger part of our life we have been either living someone else’s dream or pursuing a life driven by fear of the unknown, greed for the insatiable and to compete with the worldly ways of those around us. Expectations, comparisons and subordination to others are the three root causes for us unknowingly leading a life not that we would love to lead but one that we force ourselves to lead.

To really live and lead the life that you crave, it is essential that a person be aware of who sets the expectations for you and what are those expectations. Often it is family but it could also be neighbors, teachers and other influential people in our life. They would, with good intent subtly nudge you to tread the beaten path, the one that many others have successfully trod on. Alas that deprives you of the opportunity to explore your dreams, your ideas, give expression to your talents and take risks that would give you a thrill. You will also soon be burdened by the comparisons made by others be it peers, friends, parents, extended family and well meaning influencers about your potential and the success possible. They would also subtly point out to you role models and equally subtly attempt to draw comparisons between you and them. Finally you succumb under the weight of the comparisons and expectations and unwittingly subordinate your dreams to those set by others. You will not take risks, be constrained to meet the standards set by others, possibly also lower your own standards of ethics and morals simply to cope with the demands placed on you.

Once you realize that you cannot afford to waste your life simply because you have just one life, that is when wisdom dawns on you to push aside all external pressures and to follow your heart and your dreams. To do this is not easy but it is very much possible. All you need to do is…

Let your passion lead you. Once you discover what you are passionate about, you will find a hundred different ways in which to pursue it. You will find a way to make every obstacle a stepping stone, every failure a learning experience and create opportunities where none exist. However, finding one’s passion is challenging because there are so many competing and lucrative alternatives that catch our fancy. Let our passion be something that wakes up each day with enthusiasm, make us feel confident of attaining and gives us reason to celebrate when going to bed each night.

Be disciplined. When a person is following his / her passion, nothing is every boring, dull or useless. You have a goal and you map out the way to attain that. However apathy, laziness and casualness are pitfalls that derail even the best laid out plans. You should be motivated, self driven, hardworking and optimistic to walk the talk and make things happen.

Have faith. Far too often, when we encounter some difficulties or impediments or roadblocks to our well laid out plans we tend to worry and even panic. We try alternatives but lack the conviction or self belief that the alternatives will work. Unfortunately we also expect quick changes that we seek and when these do not seem to happen we give up. We then tend to believe that the well intentioned suggestions of others could perhaps be the answer rather than the well thought out and passionate goals you have set for yourself. The key to realizing your passion and leading a life of fulfillment and contentment is in believing in your own abilities and goals.

Have no regrets. When one travels the road less travelled, often it is a lonely path that one furrows. You will experience discouragement, difficulties and disappointments along the way. At times the effort seems wasted, other times the goal seems too distant and occasionally you would wonder if you made a mistake. Never ever regret the courageous steps you took to live your dreams and lead your life. Every moment of that journey is an experience, a challenge you set for yourself and a step forward to your goals.

Try this:

What are the three alternative career choices you would have made if you had another chance today. ( Ensure that these are not wild thoughts but something that is possible even today ) Now list out what is holding you back from pursuing those dreams. Can you work around these to take a shot at what you are most passionate about?

If you haven’t already tried do you think you could attempt to explore your interests and talents in the following

  • Being a chef
  • Becoming a magician or juggler
  • Trying you hand as a Master of Ceremonies / Stand up comedy
  • Becoming a writer / photographer / artist
  • A guide at a museum / art gallery / nature trail
  • Be a coach for any sport in which you are competent

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Choose well and make a difference to your life this year

26-30 Dec 14choose atleast one and make this new year even betterAs the year 2014 comes to a close, we can reflect on the past and plan for the future. Reflection will enable us to track the highpoints as well as the low points of our life in 2014. It gives us a sense of fulfilment tinged with some remorse and possibly some regret too at the wasted opportunities. The image above gives us a plethora of options to reflect upon. You must also look at other aspects of your life and recount those special moments of elation and dispassionately analyze the low points of your life too. More importantly, reflect hard on the learning derived from the low points.

Once the reflection is done with, concentrate on the wonderful future ahead of you. There is so much that one can aspire for, strive to achieve and make dreams come true. True success however will still be the peace, calm and contentment that you derive every single day. However for the vast majority of us who cannot lead a mendicant’s life but has to earn a living and provide for the family, it is our work life and family life that we need to pay attention too. Obviously there would be periods of stress, issues of moral and ethical dilemmas, complicated decision making and challenges of balancing personal and professional life. Despite these myriad of unpleasant challenges bringing life on even keel is possible if you were to focus on some of the positive affirmations enumerated above.

Use atleast one of the affirmations enumerated above as the pivot around which to base your life and daily living in the coming year. It might be a simple affirmation but when you try to put it in practice throughout the year, it could suddenly loom large as insurmountable mountain. Yet with awareness, determination and focus one can stick to the affirmation and soon it would become a life changing habit. Give it a try and see yourself change into an even more happier, contented and successful person this year. Let this be your first resolution for 2015.

My best wishes to you for the New Year 2015 !

Try this:

  • Write down 3 of your favourite proverbs / sayings. Reflect on how or why the sayings/ proverbs appeal to you. Can you find an affirmation that comes close to the saying or proverb you like?
  • Draft a letter to an intimate friend outlining the year gone by and your plans for the coming year. End the letter with 3 requests to your friend asking him/ her to do something specific for you to help you achieve the plans set for the New Year.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in