Tag: Change Self

The light within you…

WP-14-6 The brightest light is within uMost of us alternate between some period of bliss and the rest of the time in disillusionment. Our disenchantment with life mainly stems from the following

Our inability to define a purpose to our existence

Our tendency to compare our life with that of those around

Our inability to appreciate the blessings in our life

Our fear of the future.

Now that we have managed to throw some light on the reasons for our frustrations, unhappiness and insecurities we can work on our problems and enjoy bliss for a large part of life. This is easier said than done because we still have to make the changes within us. This means we need to put the spotlight on us ; through introspection, reflection and acceptance. Fortunately each one of us has the gifts of rational thinking, the ability to be proactive and a conscience to guide us; all of which taken together provides the brightest spotlight within us to re-examine our life and our lifestyle. Look within you; focus on the problems that impede you from enjoying bliss and find the right medicine even if it be a bitter or painful pill / injection to be subjected to.

To define a purpose to our life – pay attention to your passions, your strengths and your gut feeling. Be aware of your personal limitations, your acute dislikes and fears. With this matrix outlined, visualize the options that fit snuggly into your vision of what you want to do in your life.

To overcome the tendency to compare – remember there is always a price to pay. So the neo rich may experience loneliness, the celebrities a dire need for privacy, the apparently successful may constantly worry about failure. At the same time ask yourself what price are you willing to pay for money, fame and success. The answers may surprise you and perhaps even shock you.

To better appreciate the blessings in our life – look around and focus on those thousands around who you loathe or pity. SO what is it that you pity them for or loathe them for? In comparison do you realize how much more blessed you are be it by way of good health, loving family, financial security, peace of mind etc.

You can overcome the fear of the future – by appreciating the present moment, your tremendous reserve of blessings, the security you have built up both tangible but more importantly intangible like your good will, relationships cultivated and the empowerment given to your loved ones.

When you see with the light within you, you will be honest, transparent, determined and decisive for otherwise you will miss out on the moles and warts in your life that blemish an otherwise perfect opportunity to lead and enjoy a blissful life.

Try this:

Write down 5 positive sentences each beginning with the words

I want to be….

I shall achieve…..

I will not compromise on…..

I will change my life by ……

I want to be remembered as…..

Choose your favorite proverb on the following themes

Happiness

Success

Goal setting

Motivation

Life

Go through the following blog post on LIGHT http://www.poweract.blogspot.in/2010/11/light.html 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Life is all about creating yourself

13-26- life is about creating yourself

Take a second look at the picture before you read further. Is that a male or a female protagonist? Do you see YOURSELF in it?

There are times in our life when we ask some difficult to answer questions of ourselves. Who am I? Why was I born? What am I supposed to do with my life? How can I make a success of my life? What are my value systems? What motivates me? What influence do I have on others? If you haven’t asked these questions of yourself perhaps this is the best time to ponder over them. The answers will become the blueprint for you to create yourself anew!

No matter what your age, gender, background or status in life you can still improve, grow, change and create the person you want to be. Here is how you go about it.

Think out of the box – Either due to peer pressure or a lack of self confidence, most of us have trodden the beaten path, often to our omnipresent regret. So now is the time to dust the cobwebs in the mind, crank up the shaft of imagination and get the engine of life started. You should now identify your passions, imagine varied possibilities, visualize the happiness you can embrace and try to touch the pot of gold at the end of that imaginative rainbow. To make it more meaningful channelize your imagination into broad categories. It could be categories like personal happiness, comfort and security, my indulgences, philanthropic initiatives etc or it could be simply personal goals, financial goals, professional goals, self growth goals etc.

Sketch your own blueprint – Now that you have imagined it and possibly embraced and touched your dreams figuratively, it is time you actually sketched it out literally and figuratively. This goes a little beyond writing down your goals and is not so difficult to sketch, just in case you are worried that you are no Picasso. All you need to do is take the effort of identifying specifics about your dream and you can either physically create a dream book or have it done as a PPT. The key is to get the specifics clearly visualized. E.g. Don’t say I have a dream car that I hope to own  but instead find the picture of your dream car and paste it.

Assemble the resources needed– If you have started on your dream book or the dream PPT, you have assembled the most crucial resource. If you haven’t done this, stop reading further and at least open a new PPT and call it MY Dream Outline. The key resource that actually limits our dreams from taking wings is financial security; either lack of resources or the fear of going bust. So think long and hard on how best you can cope with this uncertainty. Jot this down too for now you have begun to assemble the brick and mortar required to give concrete shape to your personal blueprint. Now that you have got the right start don’t get bogged down by self doubt, fear of failure, lack of motivation, criticism or any form of negativity from forces within or outside. E.g. If you have identified that being a Chef is your dream but your family consists entirely of engineers, once you have put pictures of dreams menus, dream kitchen, the chef coat and perhaps even your dream eatery you will reinforce your self belief.

Begin from anywhere but begin – Lethargy and self doubt often paralyze good intention. They bring about rigor mortis in the living. The most common excuse for not giving life to your good intentions is that you do not know where to begin. Ever tried pushing a stationary car? It is tough to get it moving but once it gets the initial thrust it is easy to push it. The same principle of physics applies to life too. So the stress must be on beginning. Then keep that momentum going somehow. Look at the picture above and you will notice that the protagonist is sketching the left leg even though the right feet is still undone despite the rest of the right leg being fleshed out.

Give it the finishing touch with love – Sometimes we fail to live upto our expectations and it can deflate our ego / self confidence at other times we get irritated and frustrated and occasionally we just get over with the challenge we set ourselves as an antidote to our feeling of being a failure. No matter where we are in the continuum of our pursuit, the outcome even if half done must measure up to our standards of excellence. This is possible only if we enjoy what we do and inject a healthy dose of love in to doing what we want to succeed in. e.g. list out those tasks that are terribly boring for you but inevitable.  Now visualize yourself doing an excellent job of the task and do it with that spirit. You will find a marked improvement in the end result. To give you a more tangible example have you ever gone through the process of covering your younger sibling or children’s school notebooks. After some time it is get boring, tedious and frustrating. If you simply see each neatly covered book as a a thing of beauty or if you can see the joy of the child when he/ she sees the neat pile of books your output will be fabulous.

Try this:

  1. Identify 3 tasks that your mom or best friend does exceedingly well but something you haven’t ever tried. Your challenge is to attempt each of these tasks over the next 2 weeks and show improvement in each attempt.
  2. Try and make a kite and try to fly it along with a group of children. (Ideally I suggest you try and make more than 1 kite so that you have one or two more spare kites just in case the first one gets cut loose or torn)
  3. Write down what you would do with the following sums of money
  • If you had 1 USD
  • If you had 100 USD
  • If you had 1000 USD
  • If you had 10,000 USD
  • If you had 1,00,000 USD

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Set yourself free

13-1-Set yourself free_life

With the start of a new year, we can begin afresh, leaving behind both the troubles and the accolades of the past year behind. While the past will always be lurking in the deep recess of our minds, the future invariably gives us hope but is largely tempered by apprehensions born out of a wild imagination. The present then is squeezed between nostalgia and apprehension, your hopes and your despairs and your dreams and your nightmares. The only way out is to set yourself free; free of your own self imposed bondage.

Here is how you go about setting yourself free

Find a purpose for yourself. Parental expectations during our formative years have a large bearing in how we visualize a future for ourselves. However, the individuality in you often feels stifled and throttled by having to toe a line drawn by others. However perilous a course we chart for ourselves, if we focus on our goal our journey would be more meaningful, more fulfilling and definitely more liberating.

Tip: Write an epitaph for yourself and you would have the purpose of your life outlined clearly.

Reward yourself. We often ourselves overburdened, stressed and running to stay ahead in pursuit of our goals. It is as if the world is examining us with a microscope and we need to do meet their expectations. The reality is you have to pace yourself not with the benchmarks set by others but in relation to our own abilities, potential and capabilities.. This invariably means that you have to reward yourself; be it by taking breaks, indulging in something off beat, taking your foot off the gas pedal or simply lounging around and clearing your mind.

Tip: The key is not how far you go but how much you have enjoyed the journey.

Explore beyond yourself. Time to change your routine. Give yourself a new makeup. If you have been following the beaten path, pause, think of the numerous possibilities that you have failed to explore. Have you wanted to try your hand at something off beat? Ever tried bungee jumping or rock climbing or scuba diving? Ever had the urge to learn a musical instrument or act in a play? Did you always have a social service streak that you never dared to try so far?

Tip: There is nothing stopping you except your inhibitions and possibly your inertia.

Excuse yourself.

Notice that at every stage you are doing what you have planned for yourself, without being weighed down by the expectations, the hopes, the plans and the aspirations others have for you. It is possible that in the process you would have stumbled, bruised yourself, suffered criticism, wondered if you made a mistake and worse of all get the sinking feeling that you should not have dared to move out of your comfort zone. Learn to excuse yourself no matter what the consequence of your personal, calculated and deliberate actions.

Tip : Since you chose to follow your heart and mind you should allow your heart and mind to be free of any guilt.

It is your life – set it free – find the YOU within YOUrself.

Try this:

  • List out 5 of your apprehensions/ fears. Now for each of them work out a way to actually confront your fear. E.g. You fear lizards. Now find a reptile zoo that you can visit to actually confront that fear. Don’t do it because it is suggested here but because you want to overcome those fears.
  • List out 5 of your greatest desires or wishes. Now for each of them work out a way to actually realize them. E.g. You want to go on a cruise. Now read up on all the cruises. Select one that seems to catch your imagination. Slowly but deliberately start working on the finances, the dates, the preparations etc. for it. Before you realize it you would be packing your bags to realize your dreams.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Set yourself free…

As a social animal, man has to live with fellow human beings for sustenance, companionship and growth. Unfortunately man, unlike other animals that also live in groups or herds or prides has the compulsive unconscious urge to seek acceptance /approval of those around for every deed, action and indulgence. Even more unfortunately, man has also perfected the art of being a born critic and we easily find fault with people, happening and things around. When we analyze the behavior of the critic in us, we would realize that we have subconsciously become negative in our perception and thinking, our negativity has clouded our ability to be more discerning and appreciative and we are easily reconciled to failure, plead haplessness and find excuses to rationalize our personal lack of success.

Let us examine how each of these behaviors’ are self imposed and self limiting.

By being negative in our perception and thinking we let in self doubt creep in; we train ourselves to see the imperfections and we gravitate towards the bare minimum standards of acceptance so that we don’t seem to be failures. The fear of public speaking that an overwhelming majority of people suffer from is a classic case of our negative perception and thinking preoccupies us and restrains us from overcoming our fears.

Negativity clouding our ability to discern and be appreciative makes us succumb to the temptation of fault finding, self depreciation and failure prone. Even if someone else gives us a compliment we tend to play it down or deflect attention to something that takes the shine of the compliment. Similarly when opportunity presents itself we hesitate to take the initiative succumbing to our insecurities. We also naturally end up focusing on those failures that we may have encountered and completely ignore the numerous success that we have been privileged to embrace. Remember how our parents automatically scanned out report card to find the red lines that signified failure or quickly picked up on the lowest marks completing ignoring the numerous high scores we may have got.

By reconciling to failure, pleading haplessness and finding excuses, we do not give ourselves the opportunity to leverage our inherent strengths. Success is actually a culmination of effort most of it repetitive efforts despite failures. Many of us though give up at the first hurdle instead of persisting with hope and faith. We do not even make the effort of trying pleading haplessness or find excuses to wriggle out of a tough call. The overwhelming emotion that envelopes us is fear of failure and ridicule by others is actually the critic in us constantly whispering in our mind don’t embarrass yourself in front of others. How many of us who do poorly in our tasks began by saying ‘I don’t know what to do’ and later go on to say ‘ I am not capable of doing it’ and finally accepted failure by saying ‘ I just wasn’t cut out for it’. Notice that each of those statements are actually directed at others who maybe onlookers, co-participants or possibly evaluators and the statements are crude efforts to avoid any criticism.

The only way to tackle our fears is to confront it by being a participant and not a distanced critic. This is best done by visualizing success, anticipating and preparing for potential pitfalls and wholeheartedly embracing and enjoying the process. The real success would be in conquering one’s fears by setting yourself free of criticism, fear or failure.

Try this:

In the next one month ensure you attempt at least one of the following tasks that you have never attempted before

  • Learning a new form of dance
  • Easting with chopsticks
  • Learning to speak 10 sentences in a new language
  • Inviting friends to an exotic meal cooked entirely by you
  • Participating in 3 contests
  • Try your hand at origami

From the following situations, rate the situation that would embarrass you the most to the least. Reflect on why each situation gets the rating you have assigned.

  • Your boss getting hold of a love letter written to you.
  • You going for an important meeting post lunch and your shirt has a big stain because you spilt coffee on it at lunch time.
  • You excitedly greet and animatedly talk to a very charming person, who then gently tells you he/she is not the person you thought he/she was.
  • You are making an important presentation and by error click on a PPT you were studying of a competitor’s product.
  • You are with guests in a restaurant and despite the guests offer to foot the bill, insist that you will pick the tab only to discover that you forgot your wallet which contains the credit cards too.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Discovering the real YOU.

Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. Thomas Jefferson

Many of us spend a lot of time pondering over the future and going around in circles confused and fearful about our fate. We shy away from finding out answers to some fundamental questions like

  • Who am I and how do I hope to shape my future?
  • What do I want to do with my life?
  • What are those values and qualities I cherish?
  • What are the fears that torment me?
  • Who are the people I can depend upon?
  • What are my yardsticks for success?
  • How do I go about achieving success?

Obviously there are no easy answers that will emerge in a jiffy but if we dismiss these questions as impossible to answer, the questions would keep lurking n our mind and torment us thereby impeding our productivity, happiness and peace of mind.

The answers to all the questions seem hidden, obscure and / or elusive but in reality they are merely packaged within the individual personality that you are. If you want to discover it, you would need to see yourself as a package doing the rounds in a game of ‘passing the parcel’ where a dimension of you is subtly revealed when you are vulnerable, exploited, hurt, abused or manhandled like the parcel, by those you interact and deal with. When every layer of the parcel is peeled out and you delve deeper and deeper, suddenly the parcel opens up to throw up a surprise gift ‘YOU”

The practical way out to discover yourself now is to unravel the real you and that can be done when you Act with Purpose, Ponder with Insight and Accept the reality with Grace.

Act with purpose : While our formative years were by and large guided and molded by parents, elders and teachers, our dependence on them will reduce as the years go by and we grow up to be mature individuals. Hopefully we would have accepted sane advice and guidance and focused on our values, education, manners, career choice etc. when we begin to furrow our own path our upbringing should discipline us make choices with positive purpose. The learning both formal and informal, our intelligence, our experience, the feedback we receive, the risks we take, the options we avoid are all partly subconscious but largely a purposeful goal driven activity. In effect we never idle away our time or waste our resources but act with purpose to achieve our goals.

Ponder with Insight: Of and on we do tend to look back and wonder about the twists and turns in our life and occasionally we would lament and rue some mistakes and lost opportunities and also be pleased about those right moves we made. Often we will keep analyzing the present, keep attempting to improve up on the existing and make efforts to learn, improve, adjust and adapt to the changes that we experience, perceive or imagine.  We would simultaneous also look ahead and with the wisdom of past experience, the knowledge of the current trends and the applying our commonsense and foresight, ponder with insight and plan for the present and future. Without realizing we would have discovered some key competencies, some harsh realities and the real facts about ourselves.

Accept the reality with Grace: Where we fail is in accepting the reality of our personality. We would need to enthusiastically accept our strengths, our abilities, our talents and our potential and leverage them to raise the bar of personal excellence. Tougher still is the challenge of accepting the reality of our limitations, our weakness, our insipid temperament and our irrational fears which curb our risk taking,  restrict our horizons and expose our inadequacies.  Once we learn to accept the reality of our personality with grace we would have discovered the secret of how to find happiness within ourselves.

Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.  William James

Try this:

How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (1 being very poor and 10 being excellent) your abilities on. Now ask your spouse or sibling or close associate to do a similar rating for you. Compare the results.

  • Managing your time
  • Taking decisions
  • Interacting with people
  • Handling crisis
  • Being creative

Download the attached file Human Emotions  and from the list of emotions list out 5 Positive Emotions and 5 Negative Emotions that are typical of you. Now for emotion that you have listed give a suitable example from your life to make sure the emotion has been experienced by you. Next take a print of the file and show it to the following people and ask them to outline those emotions which in their view are applicable to you. You may make some revealing realities about yourself from the replies of others.

  • A family member (preferably a sibling)
  • A close friend
  • A colleague
  • An old school chum
  • A new acquaintance (they have to judge your emotions based on your interactions)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Forgiveness is sweet revenge

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. Isaac Friedmann

On the face of it, the very thought of forgiveness being sweet sounds like a sugar coated pill bitter inside but sweet on the outside. When we add the word revenge the whole meaning changes and now it has become as effective as chemotherapy with side effects, for the cure is almost as bad as the disease but then it cures. The reality though is that forgiveness is very tough for it requires a very large heart, a bigger attitude and tremendous courage of self belief. This is mainly because, we cannot forgive when our ego is hurt, if the hurt and bitterness is very painful , if our trust has been betrayed and if our anger has never subsided. Even worse is a situation where we are convinced that an eye for an eye is the best policy to be followed in life.

However if we pause to have a relook at forgiveness, we would realize that in the long run forgiveness heals us more than anyone else. When we carry our hurt, we are spreading a slow poison inside us, the guilt gnaws at our conscious from time to time, the need to extract revenge pricks our ego very often and a good part of our life is spend in bitterness and frustration.  Instead if we made up our mind to forgive, we would be happy in the realization that a big load is off our chest and very ironically, our enemy who is forgiven suddenly has the burden of living with his conscious. It is in transferring our burden to our enemy by forgiving him /her that we extract sweet revenge.

In forgiving we are taking a conscious decision to let bygones be bygones and to exonerate those who have wronged us. For many of us this is a very painful and heart wrenching decision because we may have suffered immensely, there is social pressure on us to prove ourselves by extracting revenge and  psychologically it becomes painful to hate someone whom we have forgiven but we find it very hard to both forget and love those whom we forgive. Yet in this one life changing moment when we forgive, there is a peace that nestles in ourselves that we have overcome the barrier of hate, bypassed the need for revenge and made our oppressor a victim of our magnanimity. In that final twist in the tale we taste the sweet revenge that is embedded in forgiveness.

Remember: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

Try this:

  1. Think of a couple of people who may have hurt you in some deep and painful manner either by abusing you/ insulting you/ ignoring you/ lying to you/ gossiping about you/ etc. Ask yourself if you still are carrying the hurt with you long after the episode is over. Try to forgive those who were hurtful to you. If possible ensure they are made aware else just let your mind be free of their injustice. See the difference in your life thereafter.
  2. Look back and see if others have asked your pardon and you have refused to forgive them. This is the right time to reach out and forgive them. It could be someone who accidentally put you in trouble, some who lied to you, a person who refused to obey orders, a person who misunderstood you etc.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

A personal makeover

Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene. Arthur Christopher Benson

 Life, for even the most active person occasionally gets humdrum. The weariness of everyday living and the repetitive nature of sleep and work demands a change of scene so as to help us recharge our batteries, energizes our body and soul and rejuvenate our whole being. Yet, a short holiday, a weekend bash, or partying may not always give us the expected results and occasionally we come back more weary, more dispirited and in extreme cases very depressed. It will be reflected in our haggard pace of life, in our morose and insipid behavior and could culminate in illness and chronic lethargy. While, it is possible that this could also be the result of some undiagnosed illness, more often than not, the real trouble is our mental makeup and low self esteem.

Out tendency to see difficulties in every opportunity rather than opportunities in every difficulty is the first mental block that restricts our personal growth and happiness. When we have a minor aches and pains we worry about having major illness, when things don’t go as planned we worry about what fate has in store for us, when we are chided by someone we seek revenge instead of verifying the truth in the admonishment and when we are given some challenging tasks we are more focused on merely managing to complete it to avoid blame rather than seek out a chance to exhibit our abilities and capabilities. Then there are people who are inflexible in their thinking, lifestyle, behavior and attitude. They remain confined to the nuances of tradition, restrict their vision using the blinkers of sticking to archaic customs and practices and cloak their miserliness and frugality in the garb of simplicity. Worse still is their inward looking beliefs that make them prone to criticize those not toeing their thinking. They could also end up zealously inflicting their views on others without much success and hence getting frustrated with the ways of the changing world.

People with inferiority complex form the bulk of those who need a serious personal make over, both externally and internally.  These are people who see themselves as nobody’s, feel they are just a footnote in the epic called life, live as if there are consigned to wallow in mediocrity and those who lack confidence and have no self esteem. Typically they are back benchers, mere participants in any event, will always exhibit a false sense of modesty and avoid the limelight at any cost.   Juxtaposed to the above inferiority complex is the set of people who have a mountainous ego and an inflated superiority complex. They need to be at the center of attraction and will inch their way into all sorts of activities as long as they can hog centre stage. They can be loud and uncouth at times, can irritate with impunity and be devilish in their intent and behavior. Ironically, what is common to both sets of apparently opposing personalities is their personal turmoil that ignites this unsavory behavior.

What is important is for people to recognize these self limiting traits and acknowledge that they may be restricting your own growth . Attempt to change, initially in a forced and contrived manner, because unlearning is tough as we tend to lapse into our own set patterns. Focus on the positive results obtained by making some forced changes. Eg. If you are an introvert may be going for a personality development or Presentation skills workshop may help you overcome some of your inhibitions. Observe some role models and adopt and adapt their styles to match your own personality eg. You admire the communication style of a leader who uses humor effectively. However you find it hard to be naturally humorous but you are well researched and well prepared in what you do. So communicate your preparation in a factual but friendly way to be effective and avoid all attempts at humor unless you are confident about carrying it off. Finally be open to change and attempt new things constantly. This will enable you to have fresh perspectives, free your mind of constrained views and it will open up umpteen possibilities thereby giving you’re a constant stream of fresh ideas that will stimulate and refresh you every moment.

Remember: They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.  ~Confucius

Try this:

  1.  What is your genre of music, art, sport, reading, fashion, food etc? Now make it a point to consciously attempt to savor something different that you have never tried or are very wary off. Make it a point to focus on what was good about your attempt  and reflect on some new perspectives you got from it.
  2.  Make an attempt to change your route of daily travel if possible or your daily diet. Do attempt to view a different TV channel than the ones your addicted to. Visit a place of worship of another religion. Surprise your spouse/ children/ friend with an unexpected gift . Focus on breaking your mould and being different consciously.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog   www.poweract.blogspot.com

Accept gracefully the reality…

Happy he who learns to bear what he cannot change! J.C.F. von Schiller

While it is perfectly alright to attempt to improve and change, it is often quite a tough task to accept that some things can’t be changed. If we were to attempt to rewind out lives, almost all of us would want to make drastic changes in the way we grew up and the way we lived. Alas we don’t lose much sleep over the impossibility of changing the past because we are reconciled to it. We may have a few regrets though, like occasional lamenting that we should have studied harder or that we should have expressed our love for our parents and siblings more often or that we should have followed our hearts desire in our career choice and not have been pressurized by family and friends.

Our problem invariably starts with the recognition that there are a few imperfections in us that we would desperately love to iron out but some of them are near impossible to change. If we are not blessed with a silky voice, it would be impossible to acquire one now. Similarly you would come across so many people seeking miracle cures to improve their height, their looks or nonexistent talents. What is more difficult to accept are what we perceive as our strengths being run down or criticized. While every student who enters the portals of Harvard or Stanford or the IIT’ and IIM’s would visualize themselves as natural leaders and possible business tycoons, the reality is that quite a few of them will have to somehow reconcile that despite their academics and special talents they still don’t have the critical competencies that will catapult them into the orbit of their dreams.

Ironically there is booming business ostensibly promising changes that people crave for. Beginning with quick fix solutions for balding men which spans the entire range of creams, lotions, oils and culminating in hair weaving , there is a whole range of beauty and fairness  therapies targeted at ladies. The fashion scene is not too far behind and the battle of the bulge and the size zero craze have panned out as booming business propositions. Health food, spas, massages are the new life style miracles promised to one and all. The education sector is more blatant promising to make toppers out of dunces and extending their magic to getting admissions in premier institutions and promising astronomical salary packages for their graduate students. What is typically left unsaid is that everything is relative and subjective. Eg. The hair weaving works on just a few and the battle of the bulge requires a lot of discipline, strict diet and regular exercise.  As for education there are limited seats so it is just impossible for everyone to make the cut.

Amidst this chaotic cacophony of false promises, impossible dream peddlers and fantasy seekers, the person who steps back and does an objective reality check and accepts the results is the winner in life. Even if we are excellent in certain areas of life, the reality is that only the extraordinary can make it big in those fields. So there is nothing unfortunate or humiliating about being prudent and giving up our chase of what we realize is an elusive dream and instead focus on harnessing the best out of the existing resources we are blessed with. Look around and identify the happy people and it should not surprise you to see many a housewife falling in that category. They are happy not desperately trying to balance career and family. Surprisingly there would be many a career woman too who has resourcefully balanced career and family perhaps at the cost of putting their career plans slightly on the back burner but delighted that they are enjoying both a successful career and a quality life. If you are not enjoying your life, pause to ask yourself if you are chasing something will always elude you  and instead focus your energies on some of your passions and you will experience a calmness and peace that invigorates and energizes you.

Remember: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

Try this:

  1. Make a list of 5 changes that you want to bring in your life. It could be personal or lifestyle changes and at least one of them should be a change that you hope to bring about in the next 1 month. Jot down the changes in some tangible form eg. Don’t say I want to lose weight but say I want to lose 2 kgs in 2 months. Start working on those changes immediately.
  2. Make a list of changes you wanted for over 3 years but have not succeeded. Analyze each of those failures and identify if the goal was wrong or the method faulty or the change sought was foolhardy or preposterous.  Do you want to still pursue those changes?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Change your thinking and…

You can promote your healing by your thinking. James E. Sweeney

The one problem that plagues us often is our own lack of self belief. Our reaction to most new tasks for example is one of self doubt, suspicion and caution. While it may be a prudent way of approaching a new task, our imaginary fears might dissuade us from taking any chances and consequentially we may end up missing a wonderful opportunity. Most times we lack self belief simply because we are afraid to fail. Other times we undervalue ourselves and therefore do not scale up our ambitions and aspire for something much bigger. Ask yourself if you take the initiative to organize a picnic or a party? Do you offer to host the games or take charge of the catering or any allied activity? When requested to take charge of something how often have you declined it saying you do not how to go about it?

Creative thinking holds the key to all progress made by human beings.  It is imperative that we appreciate the wonders brought about by out of the box thinkers and not be boxed in by our own paranoia. Our ability to think differently will definitely give us a plethora of radical and new ideas what limits us is our constant logical thinking that immediately rules out the idea as impractical and useless. To be creative all one needs to do is let our imagination run riot. Feel free to explore the wildest possibilities, make improbable associations , stretch the limits of your imagination and never let any form of self limiting statement enter your thought process. Are you game enough to take a pen and list out 10 or more uses of a pen other than using it to write?

Logical thinking has a vital role to play in ensuring understanding and problem solving. While on one hand it structures our thought process, it also reinforces and confirms our hypothesis at every stage thereby ensuring that we proceed ahead by validating the results at every stage. The entire gamut of the three R’s of reading, writing and arithmetic are founded on logical thinking. Yet many of us tend to see deeper meaning into things and tend to distort facts based on our personal prejudices, inferences and limitations. As a simple exercise read the reviews of different film critics about a movie and then go see the movie and write a review yourself. Reverse the process by seeing the movie first and then reading the critics review.

It is also important to recognize the fact that our attitude has a major bearing on our style of thinking. If we are positive and see the bright side of every event, it brings out hope and contentment within us. On the other hand people with a negative view will always search for the dark, sinister and malicious interpretation for any event. While our past experiences and gut feeling have a major influence in shaping our attitude, many a clue is hidden in the scripting done to us in childhood by parents, teachers and other authorities who have had a major influence on us. To be positive one needs to have tremendous self belief. To see problems as opportunities requires us to be strong mentally and emotionally and astute enough to channelize our energies into finding positive and acceptable meaning even in unfortunate and unpleasant events. How many of us can be like Thomas Alva Edison who on seeing his house go up in smoke when a fire burnt it down along with years of his experimental works, cheerful remarked that he could now restart with a clean slate all over again?

Remember: “You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it.” Dr. Robert Anthony

Try this:

  1. Work out an action plan to increase your savings by 25% this year without seriously impacting your current life style.
  2. Attempt to write a poem or a limerick or write a film review or a letter to the editor of the local newspaper on a topic of local importance.  The challenge is to get it published .

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

You reflect what you feel

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. William Hazlitt

Most of us are prey to mood swings and often use that as an excuse for our poor manners and behavior at times. The reality is that we behave in a manner that we actually feel inside us. Even attempts to camouflage our inner most feelings work for sometime but sooner or later the people around will sense our true feelings and they may even attempt to covertly or overtly confirm their views by probing us. It is essential therefore for each of us to be aware of our feelings, conscious of our behavior and cautious in our interactions when not in the best mood or frame of mind.

When we are ecstatic about some event or news, we are just seeking people to share that moment of terrific excitement. We are overjoyed and enthusiastic, our communication is rapid and energetic, our focus is on sharing our joy with all and sundry whom we come in contact with. Getting excellent marks in exams, winning a prize or competition, getting engaged, becoming a parent or grandparent etc are momentous events in the life of any human being and these occasions provide the perfect setting for celebrations. On the other hand poor grades, a break up, ill health and death are moments of acute pain and sadness and most times we withdraw and prefer the solitude around. We maybe sullen, sad depressed, angry or frustrated and our communication can be aggressive, resigned or we simply remain silent or prefer to be incommunicado.

There are some of us who have our own quixotic reasons for remaining in a foul mood or remain depressed or behave indifferently. Some of us are in these moods because we crave attention by behaving odd while others believe that there is nothing right going on in their lives. A few might simply believe that they done in by fate and others are simply envious or jealous of others around whom they perceive to be more blessed than themselves. What is uniformly revealing is that all these people exhibit behavior that mirrors their own feelings of despondency and frustration. E.g People who have a short fuse and who fly of the handle at the slightest pretext.  Onlookers can often sense these unacceptable behaviorally patterns and often give such people a wide berth. Someone who has a more humane touch would attempt to accept the behavior and counsel the errant party but might face rejection of his / her efforts.

Can we reign in our moods. Not easy but yes it is controllable. Being aware is the first step. The next is being consciously aware of the effects of our behavior on others and making a determined effort to change our perceptions from within so as to reflect the change in our outward mannerisms. Smiling and thinking positive are immediate cures for a poor attitude.  What is most critical is believing that you have a responsibility to every person whom you come in contact with irrespective of the persons financial or social status.

Remember: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is an excellent maxim to follow.

Try this:

  1. Can you recollect the last 3- 5 times you were brusque , rude, defiant, angry, indifferent  to others. Can you remember the people with whom you behaved like that and the background that prompted such behavior? Who was the main culprit in the matter?
  2. The next time you are upset attempt to take deep breaths, pause and forcibly smile, ensure a big time gap before you interact with anyone, read a joke or see a cartoon or do anything that will improve your mood and make you feel cheerful.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com