Tag: changes

Be like melting snow…

Be like melting snow…

As we enter the last week of the year, Rumi gives us a very insightful sharing, that can help us transcend seamlessly into the New Year.  Like melting snow, so typical of the season of Christmas in the Northern Hemisphere, which simply lets go of its form, allows the impurities to be washed off and merrily adopts a new form and flows with the tide, each of us should embrace a similar attitude.

We need to begin afresh in the New Year. The emotional baggage of the past can be best got rid off by being like the melting snow. Wash it off the memory, clear if from our heart, just carry the purity, fun, joys which like sugar and salt will add flavor. Resolve to begin anew; scrub yourself clean of the dirt that rankled and tortured your mind and body; soap and shampoo yourself with the aroma of beautiful memories, of hopes and aspirations and walk towards the sun; all shadows behind you and a bright spot ahead.

In washing ourselves of ourselves we are merely discovering our true identity. The real self which was born in all purity and innocence and who grew up ensconced with love and impervious of any danger or fear.  The snow is nothing but water that changed due to the environment around and then it rediscovers itself as water when it washes itself of itself.

Each of us is like a snowflake; each one can be born anew in the New Year if we simply wash ourselves of ourselves.

Try these:           

  • What are the most memorable moments of your childhood, teenage years and currently?
  • What are your hopes / dreams / goals for the coming year?
  • What are three positive changes you propose to bring into your life?
  • What is the one way you will ensure that your loved ones begin to notice a marked positive change in you?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Start or start again

18- 04 - 02 Feb 18-Be ready to start againJanuary has passed by and perhaps some of us are left wondering why we missed the opportunity to do something different, something we are passionate about but something we are afraid to dare. It is possible that in the past we have not met with success when attempting something new. It is possible that it was difficult to cope with the criticism from others or that one ran out of enthusiasm when things got tough. Worse of all we may have miserably failed and fear attempting it again. Failure teaches one valuable lessons; the idea was not thought through well, it was perhaps badly executed, maybe you did not factor in some critical limitations you had, your idea was well before its time etc. Failure also tells you one more message; it is not the end, you can succeed a second time if you attempt, success that eluded is never permanent but more importantly failure is never fatal.

Very often it is not fear of failure that prevents us from starting again. It is often our tendency to procrastinate. This aided and abetted by our lack of motivation, lethargy, our reluctance to take chances and worse of all fear of criticism. However, look at starting / starting again from a different perspective and you will realize that there is no better time to begin than now.

It is an opportunity to prove yourself- Everyone is waiting for glory days. It can happen only once you begin. So it does not matter if you have failed before because it is the next time your start again that gives you the opportunity to prove yourself. Success is rarely a flash in the pan. It is the outcome of persistence, patience and passion. Improvement holds the key to success. You may have to work, rework and remodel your work till you achieve what you set out to do. Just do it.

It is a chance to give wings to your passion – It is possible that you are doing something that keeps your body and soul together or that sustains you. You do it largely out of compulsion to make a living. You will have to pick up courage to change your life by chasing your passion. You may have to rough it out, you may stumble and fall, you may face a bleak desolate lonely time. You could fail multiple times. Yet it is only when you start again with hope, faith and focus that you can get the winds of hard work and good luck give your wings the power to fulfill your passion.

It will test your skills, your spirit and your strengths – When you start again, it means you are hoping do something better than what you ever did. It is also a time for you to realize your true potential, bring to the fore your zeal and enthusiasm and to test the depths of your resilience, passion and patience. You will discover a different individual within you; a person far superior to the being you thought you are.

It will change, uplift and embolden you – When you make up your mind to try again, to not give up and to succeed it a true metamorphosis of your personality.  It changes your perspective of life, it will uplift your spirit to new heights and it will embolden you to dare to conquer. Your attitude, your mannerisms, your body language and your achievements will all reflect confidence, urgency, passion and success. Just try again and change your life.

Try these:

  1. Outline three critical changes you would like to bring about in your life. List out the excuses you have been giving for not bringing about these changes. Find an antidote to each excuse and begin the change NOW.
  2. What are your pet peeves or fears. Find a way to confront them and overcome them. try,Try, TRy, TRY.
  3. Your challenge this week is to attempt the following
  • Give yourself a major makeover –e.g. change in hairstyle / clothes / communication style / body language
  • Talk to at least 3 strangers for 5 minutes each at least
  • Do something you have never done before – e.g. cook / eat a vegan meal, draw a portrait of yourself, record a song in your voice, watch a movie in a foreign language, visit a cemetery at night, start writing a blog/ diary

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

What really matters ?

22- 20 June 17-What matters is...The length of your life is not as important as the quality of your thoughts. Ideally the older we grow, it is assumed the wiser one becomes. This is largely true because of the variety of experiences one has gained; with each new day bringing its share of surprises, hopes, opportunities and regrets. Yet if one were to dispassionately look around, it is no surprise that there are so many mature people with dogmatic ideas, caught in a time warp because their mind has not kept pace with their age. The problem for many is that they find it difficult to embrace change, cope with new developments, adapt to evolving technology and accept the changing social customs and norms.

While we have no control over our age, we can with a little awareness, a wee bit of adaptability and by adopting the right attitude, train our mind to keep pace with the evolving world and seamlessly embrace it.

Awareness Most of us are caught in the mental trap called ‘ the good old days’. It is true that life was simpler, the pleasures that we got were largely from the outdoors, technology was not too complicated and family life was relatively stable and fun. However, with evolving technology came dramatic changes in life style, transportation, communication systems etc. While it made our life simpler it also disrupted the simplicity of living. Hard work was no longer the equivalent of physical labor but was more in the nature of longer hours at work in commuting and in meeting targets. Technological challenges were no longer mechanical challenges but keeping pace with the electronic revolution. The social fabric was myriad with changes; rate of divorces crept up, live in relationships and LGBT became the new buzz words and same sex marriages and surrogate children became passé. Be aware that one cannot turn the clock back and so one has to keep pace with the changes around.

Adaptability – Each of us has some sense of ethics, morals and values. Adaptability is holding on to those ideals without transgressing the right of others to hold on to their ideals. Making that mental adjustment is often fraught with frustration, fear and resignation. Having an open mind to embrace what does not fit into one’s frame of reference is a huge challenge for we begin to question our own value system. Similarly, the technological changes brings with it tremendous opportunity but sadly it also brings along with it the dangers of the misuse of the technology. Learning to use the technology can be challenging but when it is forced up on us we adapt to it. An open mind enables us to happily adapt to changing technology without it being forced down our throat like bitter medicine. Adaptability is all about making peace with change and embracing it with love.

Attitude Only when we have the right attitude will we become aware of the changes around us and begin to adapt to the changes. A good attitude enables one to see changes as a pathway to progress, development and evolvement. It also helps one look at the changes with wonderment, a fun activity to engage in and see it as tools of empowerment. One develops a positive, engaging and empowering attitude by training the mind to visualize opportunities, view changes from the prism of development and by focusing on what more rather than what was. The right attitude is the key to keeping an open mind; not judging, not denying and not condemning what goes on around us.

Try these

  1. Make a list of things/ technology/ social changes that first shocked you and then made you aware of how it impacts lives of people.
  2. List out three positive and three negative influences / impact that change around you has had on you.
  3. Look up a few TED talks and ask yourself what was new that you learned from the sharing in the talk.
  4. Look up a few video clips on various magic tricks. Does it fill your mind with the following thoughts?
  • How was it done?
  • I don’t believe it
  • Is it really happening?
  • Can I do it too?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

One change at a time

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With exams around the corner, it is inevitable that students and often their parents feel the pressure of managing the study time tables so as to perform well. That is also the time when time pressure, the accumulated backlog of studies and the need to overhaul one’s life suddenly begins to overwhelm all the stake holders in this game. A similar situations crop up in our life off and on and the need to overhaul our life is the one common constant irrespective of which phase of life we are in. In trying to overhaul one’s life, the cardinal mistake we make is, thinking that we can overturn all the bad habits we have imbibed over the years, overnight. Just as you and I took nine months to be born, just like a year takes twelve months to change and a day requires 24 hours to be completed before a new day begins, we have to patiently work on small changes in our attitude, style and behavior before the effects of transformation are visible.

The four essentials for transformation are:

Deciding to change – This is the first step in bring about any meaningful change in one’s life. Until one decides to change, the status quo would always seem impossible to change. Excuses, rationalization and reconciliation with the existing situation would constantly nag you into succumbing to the status quo. Decide that you need to change your habits, your style, adopt a different strategy E.g. You know you have to spend more hours studying. You will find enough reasons why you are unable to do so and rationalize your decision for not being able to change and finally reconcile that you are a mediocre student. The same holds true for those wanting to lose weight but not being able to get themselves to eat healthy or exercise.

Planning the change – Once you decide to change, the key is to spend some time planning how you are going to bring about the change and be the change you want. Many of us fail in this step simply because we visualize that implementation of the plan is impossible. If you can outline the map to achieving what your goal is, you would at least have a clear agenda to follow. E.g. Having a clear time table to study is the first step in ensuring you are able to do justice to each subject that you have to study. Those subjects requiring practice or additional study, however much you dislike the subject, must be allotted more time.

Implementing the change – This is the toughest part of the process of transformation. At this stage you are attempting to move away from all that you felt comfortable doing despite knowing the consequences, to disciplining yourself doing unpleasant things, in the hope that it will give you good results. The tough part is beginning, the tougher part is motivating yourself to continue but the toughest part is keeping the momentum going. The trick is to visualize the small changes, mentally see yourself inching yourself forward towards your goals and occasionally noting how much you have progressed and how closer you are to your final goal.

Being patient – This is the most important virtue because without it, one would be tempted to give up. Patience comes from self belief, from charting out progress and being reasonable about your expectations at every given time line. Occasionally you could be slipping as per your plans, at other times you feel your pace is slow and many times there seems to be no motivation to pursue your plans. Remember the number of times you fell of your bicycle before you managed to master it or the number of times you felt you were drowning before you learned to swim. The lure of the eventual goal must be so encompassing that you become patient enough to trudge along despite all the obstacles that come your way.

Try these:

  • Try to play a new sport or pick up a new hobby. Notice how you take time to gain expertise, despite your possible talent in that field.
  • List out 3 changes that you want to bring about in your life. Outline what is stopping you from doing it. Plan and implement the plan to bring about the change.
  • Challenge yourself to overcome a constant criticism that you often encounter either from your spouse / child/ friend / colleague / well wisher.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The hues of life

41-the-hues-of-lifeAs we enter the last couple of weeks of the year, it is an ideal time to look back on the year gone by. Perhaps many a day was mundane, quite a few days could reflect pain especially when we reminisce about a loved one who has departed but look again and most days would have been actually joyous for never a day must have gone by without some laughter. That we are alive to read this is a blessing, that we have the eyesight to read is a blessing , that we are blessed with riches and resources is a precious gift denied to many; oh just look around and you will realize you are blessed beyond imagination.

The tapestry of our life mimics the changing seasons; there are the monsoons, the winters, the spring and the summers. Individually we all have our preferences for the season we like best and the season we dislike; yet we value each season for it is essential for our survival. The seasons also influence the environment around and bring us the varied joys that nature has blessed us with. True when the season is at the extreme it brings with it pain, suffering, destruction and disruption but from that chaos we have only grown bigger, better and stronger. Look back on the year as well the years gone by and you will recollect with fondness how every event has helped shape you to be the individual you are.

This is a time for thanks and this is a time for hope.

We must be thankful for not just the blessings but many a time, it is the pain that helped us become stronger. We need to be thankful for the people who hurt us;  because of them when we realize the value of the people who stand by us and those we love. We need to be grateful for the times when we fell and bruised our self, for that is when we understood how strong we are. If we had not failed, we would not appreciate the value of getting things right and if we had not occasionally lost our temper, we would never know our limitations. We may not be proud of the vain things we did but for sure it taught us that we have a mean streak in us. We hate those who criticized us and gossiped about us but certainly if we pause and reflect we must thank them for opening our eyes to our own faults. Most of all we must be thankful for the love we are blessed with; family, friends, colleagues and strangers who in varied ways stepped up when we needed them the most.

As we round of the year, it is wonderful time to look forward in hope. It is that time of the year when we jot down our New Year Resolutions. Yes a large part of the list must be carry forwards from the year just ending, but now we can hope to begin anew and succeed. Oh yes, we have new dreams that we need to realize during the coming year and we have the faith and hope that we can attain it in the coming year/s. We have hope for our loved ones to discover their own individuality, chalk out their own paths and make a smooth transition towards their destiny. We hope that the world would change for the better and that we would be part of that transformation. Most of all we must hope to play an important part in contributing to that hope through our thoughts, words and deeds. Unless we have hope, we will never have the courage to ‘stand up and be counted’.

Try these:

  1. Begin with making your New Year Resolution list. You have still have 3 weeks to reflect and update it but you need to start now.
  2. List out 2 things that you will do in the coming year that will enable you to :
  • Improve you as an individual
  • Make you involved in your favorite social cause
  • To expand your social / friends circle
  • Surprise your family
  • Change a bad habit that you are often criticized for
  • Improve your financial health
  • Ignite a latent talent or indulge in a latent passion
  • Connect with a long lost friend/ relative

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Pain changes people

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Broadly pain comes in two types- physical pain and emotional pain. Both types of pain are tough to deal with. However, the emotional pain is often the one most tough to cope with, because the emotional pain hurts from inside and is much more difficult to overcome. The physical pain can at times be excruciating too and equally difficult to cope with. The challenge of emotional pain is that it provokes questions like why me? What if? Will it change my life for the worse? Can I ever cope with it? that makes it hard for an individual to find satisfactory answers to. The result is that emotional pain triggers in us a negative attitude to people, lose confidence in ourselves and a ‘poor me’ syndrome overwhelms us.

Emotional pain is non physical pain. This means that the pain is felt in the head and heart. Death of a loved is the most common emotional pain but since death is a reality everyone has to deal with, most people can get over this pain over time. Of course there are exceptions like the sudden death of young person or the sudden death of a dear pet. However, emotional pain felt when a marriage breaks down or when one gets an unexpected pink slip or one is made aware of a serious ailment is much more difficult to handle. The most common response to emotional pain are as under:

Trusting less: Emotional pain, especially if it is the result of a disconnect with another person be it a lover/ spouse or employer would seriously affect the aggrieved party/ parties and would often result in them at least temporarily losing their confidence in other people. This means that going forward, it takes them time to let go of the past, are always wary of people around especially new people and would never make a commitment to a relationship personal/ professional without being circumspect about the future.

Thinking more:  Emotional pain always magnifies the problem in the eyes of the aggrieved person. It also makes a person think of various worse case scenarios, make them interject varied negative possibilities to a possible solution and largely make them feel victimized. The over thinking limits their vision to see effective alternative solutions. It also adds to their mental turmoil and consequently  it impacts their personal, social and professional  life.

Becoming a recluse:  People who are emotionally pained tend to become recluse. They shun social contact, prefer their own solitude and face psychological trauma. They find it hard to connect with people for they trust less, think more and believe that no one can help them. They wallow in self pity, have delusions/ fears of a second wave of trauma and adapt to solitude for company. Unfortunately that also means they have lesser chances of picking themselves out of their emotional rut.

Pain changes people. Life becomes harder; living even tougher and at times dying seems like a perfect escape.

Be aware of the dangers of letting emotional pain overwhelm us and make us irrational. As long as there is life there is hope. Listen to both your inner reason and to the advice of well meaning friends. Learn to trust your instincts as well as the voice of love and reason of your loved ones who would do all within their power to help you overcome your trauma. Do not cut yourself from the world around; remember man is a social animal and your best chance to be emotionally stable would be by interacting with others. After all sharing joy doubles it and sharing grief halves it.

Try these:

  1. List out 3 painful moments of your life. How did you react to each of these moments? Do you still feel that pain even today or has time helped you overcome the pain?
  2. So which of the following emotional baggage are you still carrying with you
  • Having a breakup
  • Having a dear one insult/ hurt you
  • Hearing a rude/ disrespectful / sarcastic comment about yourself
  • Being let down / cheated  by a dear friend / colleague
  • Being forced to sacrifice your ethics in order to succeed

How did the above effect you. What have you done to regain your confidence after facing the above?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The 3 C’s of life

22-3 C's of lifeThere are lot of youngsters ( and I suspect plenty of adults too) who are desperately trying to improve their future but find themselves aimlessly drifting and getting frustrated with every passing day. Almost all of them are intelligent, have a fair degree of clarity of thought and posses the energy and drive to succeed; yet they seem to be confused, helpless and defeated as if trapped in cage. The reality is that they build a cage around themselves by merely focusing on what has not gone right, blaming people and circumstances for their plight, blinding themselves from seeing difficult but possible options and wallowing in self pity. The real wonder of life is the new opportunities that each passing day brings, provided we seek it. The options won’t suddenly pop up but would tantalizing hover around, waiting to bestow the opportunity to those who are keenly looking out for it.

Success is actually a matter of knowing the 3 C’s (like the three R’s you learned in school) and putting that learning into practice. In fact you can put this into practice even as you read this post.

Choices abound- seek it, evaluate it, act on it.  First of all identify what you want. This means you must have some objective, an aim, a definite purpose. In short you must have a goal. Most unhappy and frustrated people remain that way because they have no clue about what they want. Using generic adjectives like happiness, rich, successful, well known, popular etc are not objectives or goals but merely pointers to what your inner urges are. Those urges can be met only when you pursue a tangible goal, upon attaining which, you will fulfill your urge of being rich or famous or popular. People are often seeking a ‘good’ job but cannot describe the attributes of the job that will make it a good job for them. As a result they cannot see the various ‘good’ jobs that exist but pick something that seems good. Take time to think out so that there is clarity in your mind. Ideally list out your thoughts so that your mind is not cluttered and more importantly you have something tangible to mull over. The list will give you both clarity and trigger your mind into seeing alternatives and choices that exist. This will enable you to explore and select the path to attaining your goal.

Chances are you will succeed- work for it, persist, don’t fear failure. Nothing ventured nothing gained is an old maxim. They also say that unless a turtle sticks it’s neck out, it cannot make progress. The message is clear; you have to dare, be bold, move out of your comfort zone and explore beyond, move into unknown territory, experiment, be different, break free. If you know what you want, the way to attain would also be clear. You may never have traversed that path but now you must. There are risks involved, there could be setbacks, you may have to trudge along alone and it could be a tiring, weary journey. Yet, the best part is you are moving, inching closer to what you want, your leaving the past trusting your abilities. At times you would hit a roadblock, you could be discouraged, you may even encounter failure. Persistence is the mantra that will embolden you, rejuvenate you and help you attain your goal.

Changes will happen – make it happen, don’t fight it, be the change. As you make your choice and take a chance you will face numerous changes that you have to cope with. Changes would impact your daily life, your emotional life, your psychological temperament, your relationships, your financial well being and even your status in society. You need to cope with the changes. Don’t let the negative changes dishearten you nor let the positive changes make you heady and arrogant. If there are times when you all your efforts don’t bring about the change you seek, you will have to double your efforts, redirect your efforts, get help from others to enhance your efforts till you force the change or become the change itself. Progress has always been made by people who dreamt of a change and got others to believe in their point of view and together forced the change. By the way, your life too will change dramatically !

So have you written down your goals? At least write down all the things you want to do to make your life better. Dream up more and add to the list of achievements you want to attain. Outline the immediate action you need to take for the most important items on your list. Start working on those action points now. It will help, if you also put a deadline by which you hope to attain each item on your goal list. Don’t make excuses for not preparing the list. Start..

Try these:

  1. Read the last para above and prepare the list and the action to be taken by you.
  2.  List out the following ( at least three )
  • Ways to increase your savings
  • Changes to yourself to become an even more engaging personality
  • Bad habits you will try to eliminate
  • Ways you will improve your relationship with family/ colleagues / business associates
  • Expand your productive working hours
  • Contribute your mite to social/ philanthropic activities.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com