Tag: Death

Death is not the biggest fear…

Death is not the biggest fear…

Death is a scary thought because it is a definitive end. We visualize that end and we are repulsed because we have so many unfulfilled dreams, so many wishes that we are sure will be realized if only we live. What we do not understand is the reality that, the real fear should be the realization that, what is yet to be achieved is not an accident but the result of us not risking enough to fulfill it. Even this understanding is comparatively superficial to the real fear that we are blissfully unaware of; being alive and expressing ourselves freely. We largely live a fearful life; fearful of expressing a minority view point; fearful of taking the side of your convictions; being afraid to stand up for the segregated, the marginalized, the deprived, the defenseless. In reality we are fearful but we fail to acknowledge it. Ask yourself this simple question ‘ Do I express myself freely, frankly, fearlessly on every issue that bothers me?’ You will realize that, subconsciously at times and deliberately most times, we hold back lest we are trolled, shadowed, shamed, stalked, assaulted, vilified, jailed or tortured by those who disagree with us.

Living is a risk; it carries the risk of us failing our potential; of us not standing up to be counted when the time comes; of cheating our conscious when it suits us; of us looking the other way when we should have stood by those in trouble; of telling blatant lies, white lies or being economical with the truth because the truth could hurt us; of being hypocrites, being insensitive, being inhuman and of being chameleons that change color to suit our survival. We do not risk living our real selves but live our lives to suit the world around. Can we honestly look in the mirror and look ourselves in the eye?

The fear of living, in day to day life, extends to us being fearful of skeletons tumbling out of our hidden closets; of pretending to be happy in relationships that have long ceased to exist; of doing jobs that we hate but cannot do without; of the demons of worry that beset us often; of losing loved ones; not fulfilling cherished dreams; of being made fun of or ridiculed; of having to pretend to be as rich, happy and successful as those around.

Yet, we have largely coped with these risks and that is what makes us reasonably successful. We have at times conquered our fears, occasionally learned to cope with it and sometimes succumbed to it. In our journey through life what makes us remain cheerful, optimistic and enthusiastic each day is not the absence of the fear of living but the presence of our sense of individuality, of knowing that we are an integral part of humanity and that each day has surprises that make our life love filled, fun filled and fulfilling.

Try these:           

  • Think of three occasions when you did not do, what on hindsight, you should have had the courage to do. How did you rationalize your failure to yourself? Would you have done things differently today of the same circumstances prevailed?
  • What were the three most courageous things you did, despite being aware of the consequences? Do you regret having lived by your convictions?
  • How do you deal with a person who is loud and self opinionated and gets very vocal with his/ her views when he/she sees you, because he/she knows you hold a completely dramatically opposite view point.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

B C D of Life

17- BCD of lifeLife is often over simplified as being a journey from birth to death. What this does not consider, is the enormous opportunity / potential / alternatives that life freely bestows on us, to make that life a voyage of adventure, thrill and fulfillment. Each of us has the choice to pick from the alternatives, explore and select the opportunities around and utilize our potential the way we want. Our individuality is expressed through the choices we make. Our choices determine our future, our progress and ultimately lead us to despair, indifference or fulfillment. So the quality of our life, the way we go about living and the impact we have on the world around us and vice versa is all linked to the choices we make every moment. Choices are boon for those determined to use it wisely and it is a bane for those who get overwhelmed by the alternatives.

Making the right choice is again dependent on the individuality of the person making that choice. Yet there are some pointers to enable one to make the right choices.

Align choices with your values – Our values or principles that we imbibe and choose to follow would have an overbearing role to play in the choices we make. It is essential therefore that we are aware of those values we cherish and ensure our choices align with it. If these are not aligned, the choices may yield expected results but it will taunt your conscience, negate your happiness and depreciate yourself worth. E.g. You appear for an exam which is tough. You have a choice to copy from another and possibly get more marks but for the rest of your life you will find it hard to shake of the feeling of having been a cheater provided you value fair play and honesty as critical uncompromisable virtues.

A choice is your commitment- fulfill it – A choice is a commitment you willingly make.  Once you make that choice, it is essential that one make the best effort to fulfill that commitment. Self doubt, rethinking, confusion could possibly occasionally peek in and sabotage your commitment. Unless there is absolute clarity in your mind that you made a poor choice, the way forward is to fulfill the commitment you made when you chose a course of action. E.g. You chose a branch of study for your future. Somewhere along the way you begin to realize that the choice is not aligned to your passion. If you are convinced that a change is warranted immediately make an informed choice to deviate else fulfill the first choice you made before you rethink the alternatives.

Consider the risk reward payoff when making choices –Many a choice is placed before us by circumstances. There are shades of choices that come before us. Some are tempting but unethical, sometimes the choices are unpleasant because the alternatives are less than palatable but frequently the choices we have to make are thrust upon us with a deadline that forces us to choose. Ironically not making a choice, which is letting the status quo remain, is also a choice. Subconsciously we are always making a risk reward payoff analysis when making a choice. What is important is to view reward as the cumulative long term effect of our choice rather than immediate short term gains which could cost us dearly in the long term. e.g. watching an exciting final match of a game could be a costly price to pay if a critical exam in a paper in which you are not too strong is due the next day.

Make your own choices – don’t follow the pack – Most erroneous choices are made because we are impulsive, we are influenced by those around us and because we don’t think through with calmness and intensity. Branding is one of the marketing strategies to which many of us unconsciously fall prey too. We are tempted by the hullabaloo about a product / style and often are under peer pressure to follow the trend that others follow.  Your choice must be based on your own personal understanding, your evaluation and your need. Your individuality in many ways is reflected in your choices.

Take responsibility for your choices – No matter what method you choose to make your choices, the most important aspect of the choice is to take responsibility for that choice. Owning the choice empowers the individuality to face the consequences of the choice. It also makes the individual more confident, competent and clear headed all of which are vital traits of successful people. Ultimately our successes and failures are largely influenced by the choices we make.  If our choices go wrong and we take responsibility for our choices, we would examine the reasons for our mistakes and take corrective measures not to repeat our mistakes.  If our choices are right we can take pride in our abilities to choose wisely.

Ultimately, the quality of our life from birth to death are the outcome of the choices we make every day of our mature life.

Try these:

Rank these choices in the order of what you think is the worst choice, terrible choice and bad choice

  • Good outcome ethically wrong choice. e.g. Getting good marks by copying in an exam
  • Bad outcome lazy choice made e.g. Failing in an exam because you didn’t choose to study
  • Ugly outcome silly choice made. E.g.  Not appearing for an exam for fear of failing.

You win a lottery of Rs.10,00,000. Unfortunately you will not get a single rupee from it. However you must nominate 5 people to get the winnings in any proportion you deem fit.  The only condition is that the 5 people must include just one family member, one friend, one junior work colleague, one senior work colleague and one absolute stranger. Who would you choose to receive the amount and how much would each be entitled too. You would be telling each of the 5 people about the total prize money and how much each member is getting.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Life is to be lived…

There is only one meaning of life, the act of living itself.  Erich Fromm

This quote couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time, for I have just returned after offering my condolences to a colleague who lost his 27 year old son, not to illness nor to an accident but to Suicide. It is one of those ironies of LIFE that when we come crying into this world, it is the most memorable moment for all those who are present at that moment and when we attain ‘peace through death’ all present are distraught and tearful. It is the intervening period, between birth and death, which we actually recognize as LIFE and it just right that this phase is what we cherish the most.

As someone rightly observed Life is not a bed of roses, for we will always find a few thorns that prick us from time to time. In fact the popular phrase that life is a journey not a destination appropriately defines the expectations from us who journey along. A journey always promises us new places, new sights, new experiences and new relationships and yet not all of these would be pleasant and delightful. We put up with some inconveniences, we ignore those companions who we find hard to put up with and we attempt to enjoy the odd experiences and bear up with the varying sights along the journey. At times we do break our journey to recoup, other times to savor the experience and occasional to check our progress but soon thereafter we resume our journey.

Life is a gift and we are not given any choice. We cannot change our parents nor our backgrounds or the socio economic environment, but we can definitely work towards changing our LIVES. It is this urge to change, the craving to grow, the passion to excel and the desire to improve that helps us chalk our paths and destiny. Undoubtedly there would be challenges, difficulties, obstacles and roadblocks that make the journey intriguing, occasionally exasperating and often very disheartening and yet we need to fulfill our commitment to life. And so we journey on in hope, faith and confidence that we will be strengthened and nourished both in body and spirit by the very force that gave us life.

We learn to pick ourselves up when we stumble and fall, we help another who is strength is ebbing, we adapt to the changes along the way and can easily cry, laugh and sing when the occasion demands it. Life then becomes an enriching experience, a rewarding opportunity and most of all a thanks and praise to the one divine force that created us. Who are we to decide that we have had enough? When we live…we are racing towards the finishing line and ironically again…in this race called life ALL who complete the course are winners. It is just the quitters who perhaps lose out on winning!

Remember: Winners never quit; quitters never win.

Try these:

  1. Look at the 3 most dreadful mistakes that you ever made. You have survived that; so do you think there will be any worse anxieties hence forth?  Examine how you coped with your deadly mistakes. Who deserves special mention for helping you through that crisis? Send them a gift/ thank you note/ a simple letter and feel the happiness within you. Did someone say that crisis also give you opportunity for ecstasy and delight?
  2. The act of living should never be in vain or your life will be just a pain. It is hard for us to think of death but the reality is that at the moment of birth an expiry date was stamped on you. How about looking at death more positively and attempting to write your own Epitaphs. This will be nothing but a very brief way of summing up your life or the way you would want people to remember you (Look up the meaning of Epitaphs in case you are still unclear about the meaning and attempt to write one for yourself so that it captures the spirit of your life)

I would welcome some original epitaphs to be emailed to mailblj@yahoo.com along with your name, age and location. Please avoid copying epitaphs from the net or other sources but attempt to write one for yourself. Quality contributions received up to 31st May 2010 may be published and showcased on this blog around 6th June 2010.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com