Tag: Emotions

Nirvana – the Rubick’s cube way

Nirvana – the Rubick’s cube way

I came across this wonderful cartoon,  that puts in perspective what we need to do this coming year, to ensure that by the year end, we can look back with no regrets – simply get ourselves sorted right.

All of us travel with a whole lot of baggage; some inherited, some acquired, a few bestowed and most of it our own creation. As a result we are constantly balancing our imaginary and realistic possessions in the fond hope that they will ensure that we live a worry free life of comfort and happiness. Unfortunately, with each passing day, juggling becomes problematic as we seem to have a penchant for adding to our possessions, keep craving for more and wishing some of our less prized or despised possessions would be taken away. The six sides of the Rubick’s cube give us a clue as to how we can organize our life and attain Nirvana without having to climb the mountain in search of a guru.

Each of the six sides of the cube can be seen as representative of a broad aspect of our life. Our physical well being, our mental/ intelligent growth, our emotional stability, our spiritual/ ethical grounding , our financial security and our social needs. All we need to do is to ensure we sort out each of these aspects of our life so that they, like the colors of each side remain in harmony and pronto the Rubik cube of life is sorted.

A few pointers given below, may perhaps help us get the knack of sorting each aspect of our life more expeditiously and productively.

Physical well being – This is a no brainer. Obviously if we are not in the best physical shape, it is extremely difficult to live a productive life. Eating in moderation, eating healthy and physical exercise are the keystones of physical well being. However,  worry and stress do tend to have an unduly negative impact on physical well being as well. Regular health checkup and the subsequent suggestions of the medical practitioner’s would ensure that your over physical well being is at its best at all times. Those will disabilities and challenges would do well to accept the realities and pace their lives accordingly. This is particularly true for those who unfortunately become victims of such disabilities after leading a perfectly healthy lifestyle.

Mental and Intellectual growth – Reading widely, soaking in new experiences, experimenting, living beyond one’s comfort zone are ways and means of ensuring you continue to growth mentally and intellectually. Get involved in the changes happening around, interact with the young, listen without judging and be open to ideas that seem contrarian to your intellect.

Emotional stability – It is extremely difficult to control our emotions. Too often it is our emotional outbursts that fractures relationships, creates chasms between individuals, contributes to build up prejudices and drains us emotionally. Balance in evaluating any response and responding with a measured response both in choice of words and tone is the key to ensuring we maintain our emotional stability. Beware of issuing threats, ultimatums’, taking extreme positions in arguments; replace it with pragmaticism, reason and common sense.

Spiritual and ethical grounding – While circumstances and upbringing, have a role to play in how we develop our spiritual and ethical values, going to extremes is the cause of tensions within us. One needs to be aware of the ground realities, be accommodation to differences yet remain true to the values one cherishes. Get clarity about your values and your actions will be synchronized leaving no scope for doubts and worries.

Financial security – In a materialistic world, financial security is compulsive reality. You need to provide for your future, your lifetime and for the unexpected. Make a realistic assessment and save accordingly. Take professional help if required. However, let not the future scare you so much that you do not enjoy the present. The challenge is to balance your current utilization and provide for future security. Take those holidays you crave for, indulge in some luxuries that you dream about, experiment with a progressive lifestyle and make your today just as enjoyable as the future you dream off.

Social needs – As a social animal, one cannot live as a hermit or in seclusion. Yet, on one extreme we are connected with all the gadgets and technology and on the other hand the physical interactions seem to be disappearing. Life is always full of beautiful memories which you have to create and make a reality. There is no substitute to meeting, interacting and enjoying life in groups. It could be families together, friends together, travel companions or making connections with strangers. Be there in person; minimize the use of gadgets and you will create magical moments to cherish forever.

Try these:

  1. Just list out one resolution that you will diligently adhere to for each of the above points. Begin Now.
  2. List out 3 of your fondest memories
  • With your parents
  • Your siblings / cousins
  • Your school mates
  • Your college mates
  • Friends you made in your travels
  • Unexpected but fond experiences
  • This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

It is ok to be not ok

It is ok to be not ok

At times events that happen to us or around make us feel overwhelmed. At these times each of us is caught in a bind, wondering if it is ok to give in to your natural feelings like anger, hurt, frustration etc. that the event has triggered or to try your best to be stoic, dispassionate and pretend to be brave. Often we prefer to embrace the latter, more to prove our own ability to cope rather than let our defenses down and spill out our deepest emotions. There is also the added pressures from the do- gooders around, who whisper gently that one needs to control his/ her emotions and not succumb to fear, frustration, anger, hurt and loneliness. Unfortunately, one cannot be completely divorced of personal emotions and reality demands that expelling pent up emotions is a good way to get rid of unwanted toxic feelings from within.

Hence there is nothing wrong in getting angry, upset, confused or feeling stuck up, lonely, hurt or to give in to a good crying spell. In short, it is perfectly ok not to be ok.

However, there is a risk that by regularly giving in to our negative emotions, we may become susceptible to adopting a ‘poor me’ syndrome. One needs to be watchful against undervaluing one’s self, looking at life from a all that goes wrong and not being able to enjoy the countless bounty one is blessed with. This is the point at which some of us begin to wage war with ourselves by finding fault in happenings that are not to our liking or events that come as a set back or by craving for what we do not have or aspire too. The thinking is skewed; the feeling of not having enough, the tendency to blame self, family, circumstances and fate are all symptomatic of a person at war with himself/ herself.

The antidote to this is threefold:

Do not bottle up your feelings – give release to your emotions. It is perfectly alright to feel down, hurt, depressed, sad, unhappy, anxious, worried and weepy. There are moments when we need to align our behavior with the feelings that are overtaking us. By giving vent to those feelings we are exhaling those toxic emotions and cleansing ourselves from within. The toxicity exhaled will be replaced by positive feelings of hope, acceptance, courage, determination and self belief. It is a cleansing of the mind and body that helps rejuvenate the spirit.

Do not overreact to circumstances – At the other end of the spectrum is a tendency to overreact to unforeseen, unfortunate and unforgiving circumstances that occasionally transgress into our peaceful existence. Since change is a constant in everyone’s life it is obvious that sooner or later each of us will have to deal with pain, fear, illness, failure and death. The problem is when we overreact and see our problems as disastrous, calamitous and unending. Bringing a sense of proportion and balance is the only way to deal with circumstances that we do not want to face but have overtaken us. So while giving in to our feelings and reacting to it without bottling it up is perfectly in order, over reacting and getting emotionally irrational would be a self inflicted disaster.

Find value in your current circumstances – No matter what the circumstance you face, look around and see that there are a people courageously coping with even more calamitous problems. In comparison it would occur to us that we are much more blessed in that our problems are relatively easy to cope with. The best way to cope with any form of emotional pain is to look it is from a point of view of what do we still have despite all that is happened. Seek out value that makes tomorrow worth looking forward to. E.g. a student who has failed can still count on his parents, friends and teachers supporting him despite them possibly criticizing him / her initially. Failure then is not the end of the world but a temporary blip in life.  An even more extreme example is the purported reaction of Thomas Alva Edison, whose life’s work was charred to ashes when his house went up in flames. His reaction was, as he said the ‘opportunity to observe the biggest fire he had ever seen in his life’. Subsequently when asked about the loss of all his years of research, he is purported to have quipped ‘ now I can start again with a clean slate’.

Try these:           

  • What were the two most challenging / trying/ painful experiences you encountered? How did you cope with it?
  • Share with us links or documents of 2 inspirational articles or stories or videos of people who have coped with their most challenging problems. You can email them to us at actspot@gmail.com

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

I am rare

36- I am rare

One reason many of us undervalue ourselves is because we focus largely on our commonality with others around and do little to discover what is unique about us. The fact is that each individual is unique not just physically but in thought, emotion, action and expression. The sooner we try to discover our uniqueness, the faster we will begin to value it and leverage it to carve a niche for ourselves. Equally importantly our sense of pride, worth and value will get magnified in our own eyes and it will reflect in our actions and thereby get noticed by those around us. What is important is to become aware that I am rare; none like someone before and none who will ever be a carbon of me.

So how does one discover one’s uniqueness; one’s specialty and one’s rarity?  The answer lies in looking inward to search for meaning in what one does, how one feels, the positive emotions that trigger enthusiasm, the unmitigated joys that one enjoys and the appreciation that an individual is showered with.

Your actions – So what is it that you enjoy doing? What is it that you do really well? What is that you abhor doing? In real life we have to do what has to be done whether we like it or not. By trying to be involved in activities that you enjoy, reduce/ avoid what you abhor and by doing whatever has to be done very well, you are simply uplifting the quality of your work, your life and your own worth. Introspect on this and you will begin to value the unique contribution you make in making the world around you a much better and enjoyable place. Do this and you become the rare individual who can make transformation happen.

Your emotions – So what emotions dominate your life? Joy, trust, surprise or are you prone to anger, disgust and sadness most times? If your life is largely filled with positive emotions, the chances of you being enthusiastic, popular and effective are very high. If negative emotions tend to overshadow your positive emotions, there is a probability that you are more demanding, more critical and more circumspect in your dealings. Your emotions help you become more responsive, more empathetic and more understanding thus making you an unique influencer for those who come in your circle of influence.

Your thoughts – Your emotions have a large influence on your thoughts. Your actions in turn are shaped by your thoughts. Hence it is vital that analyze your thoughts for they trigger the course of action you take. Do you feel confident, have self belief and have the daring to take on challenges. Are you also prudent in how you choose your options? Do you take reasonable risks or are you reckless? Do you see opportunities in problems or problems in various opportunities?  What is essential to note is how your thoughts shape you and help you decide on your course of action, thereby shaping your own independent proactive or responsive action that would have an impact on the environment around you.

Try these

  1. With which animal do you identify with and why? What are the unique features of that animal that you admire and/ or share in common with?
  2. Name 3 people, who in your personal experience, are unique in their own way. Can you write a short note to each of them appreciating that uniqueness in them which you appreciate.
  3. List out three adjectives that you believe best describe you. Outline a special moment in your life in which each of those adjectives came true/ was demonstrated.

This post is courtesy http://www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

A true measure of your worth

36-your-real-worth

Physical wealth, be it money and possessions are a good measure to judge how financially secure a person is. It is also a great asset to lead a reasonably good and comfortable life. It is also a good magnet to attract friends and widen one’s social circle. It is also a good inducement to garner support, influence opinion and climb ups the social ladder. However, physical wealth would be a poor indicator of a person’s true worth. This is because wealth can be created, acquired or inherited  but wealth can never buy reputation and good will which has to be earned, respect and recognition which comes from a deep appreciation of the individual in you, your sense of fair play and justice which comes from personal values and your emotional balance and empathy for others which comes from the heart.

We need to examine these a little more in detail to understand an individual’s true worth.

Reputation and goodwill : It take a life time to build a reputation and goodwill. It comes from doing the right things at the right time, avoiding the undesirable and being perceived as someone who is dependable, principled and balanced. It based on the general perception people have of an individual over a long period of time. It is often reflected in the simplicity, humility and achievements of an individual and society’s perception of these qualities.

Respect and Recognition: Respect and recognition comes with age and maturity. How a person has grown personally and professionally would have a large bearing on this. It could also come from the insightful contribution of the individual in his social and professional environment and the positive influence he/ she has had on those around them.

Fair play and justice: Displaying fair play and justice comes largely from being principled and this in turn is largely influenced by one’s upbringing, personal values and courage of conviction. The ability to hold a minority view point, the daring to express a dissenting note and tuning one’s moral compass in the direction of what is the truth.

Emotional balance and empathy: This is tougher to judge for individuals can display a different personality in private and be very different in public. However one cannot keep a quick temper, a giant size ego, a negative aura or a irrational outbursts only in the private space. How one deals with those at your mercy, with those who look up to you for support, those who differ from you in thought word and deed are primary pointers to an individual’s emotional balance and empathy.

When you attend a funeral where there is a large turnout, do you see some of the above points being reflected in that deceased persons life and it being a prominent reason for the large turnout?  Perhaps these are also critical considerations for others who will part with their last penny if ever you seek their help. Therein lies your real worth; what others value you for.

Try these:

  1. List out 5 qualities / values/ traits that you think others really value in you. Jot out a couple of qualities/ values / traits / habits that others criticize you for. What can you do improve upon those criticisms?
  2. What are the few social problems that really irritate and annoy you? What have you done about it? Is there anything more you can do about it?
  3. How will you deal with the following:
  • You answered 6 questions instead of 5 which was the norm. The teacher corrected all the answers and erroneously added the marks of the sixth question to the total as a result of which you passed the exam. Would you bring the error to the teachers notice or ignore it?
  • You are cleaning your cupboard and come across a book you had a borrowed from a college mate five years. When the college mate asked you return the book, since you could not find it, you lied to him/ her that you had returned it. The friend was upset with you since he/she did not recollect you returning the book.  A couple of years have gone by since that incident and you are not in touch with that college mate but you do know in which city he/ she is. Would you pick up courage to return the book and apologize to that friend? Alternatively what would you do?
  • You are on an outstation trip and while walking you stumble upon a wallet containing Rs.15,000. In that wallet you find some torn papers listing out a couple of names of individuals. It also has a dry cleaners bill of a certain city and a tailors bill of another city. The names on both these bills are different. Both the bills do not have any telephone numbers on it. What will you do?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

You are …

8-26 Jun14-See who you areWhat do you do when you are confused, disheartened and / or feeling listless? Who do you go to when you need to pep yourself up, solve problems or make life interesting? How would you go about feeling energized, overcoming obstacles and churning out creative ideas? While there may be many alternatives to choose from, the first step would be to delve within yourself and discover that you hold almost all the answers to all your worries, queries, difficulties and happiness.

It is all in your mind; unlock it and you will be a changed person. Focus on merely 3 things

Emotions. All of us become victims of our emotions especially negative emotions. Positive emotions like happiness, confidence, joy and optimism would enable one to overcome tough situations and challenges with flair and panache. However negative emotions like fear, anger, helplessness and pessimism would often muddle your thinking, cloud your judgment and push you to avoiding taking chances or becoming daring. Keeping our emotions in check would help us take balanced decisions, act proactively and temper our actions.

Thinking .Our thinking is largely influenced by our emotions. Our feelings have a major role to play in directing our thoughts and helping is focus on the moment. Apart from our emotions, our experiences, our knowledge and our personality have a major bearing on our thinking and subsequent action. Most times we are logical because as human beings we tend to rationalize and structure our thoughts within a framework we are aware of. However, when confronted with new challenges and problems our creative thinking would enable us to see new patterns, connect dots differently and help us discover or invent new solutions.

Attitude. Our attitude is shaped both by our emotions as well as our thinking. Apart from these two factors, our attitude is also shaped by our environment, the situation, our experiences and our personality. While we commonly talk about positive attitude and negative attitude, we must not forget our dimensions like attitude of gratitude, solutions oriented attitude, flexible and inflexible attitude as demonstrated by our stubbornness or indecisiveness.

It is evident that by focusing on our emotions, thinking and attitude we would be able to control our reactions, channelize our actions, influence the outcomes and even align the end result to be in tandem with our desire. This is being achieved simply because you are now directing your inner self to provide you with the necessary inspiration to overcome any obstacle that hinders your pursuit of your objectives. Your mind also harnesses your abilities to find solutions no matter how grave a situation or problem. Your relentless pursuit of your goals happens only when you are sufficiently motivated to keep going and that too is self generated by your ability to reign in or let loose your emotions, thinking and attitude.

Do you now realize that you are your own inspiration, solution and motivation?

Try this

  • Assume for a moment that you are marooned on an island with no hope of being rescued for a year at least. How would you go about surviving?
  • Identify a character in history who has inspired you? Can you specify the qualities / abilities/ achievements of that person that specifically appealed to you?
  • Every work / job entails repletion and unpleasant but unavoidable tasks. List out 3 such tasks that you have to cope with daily and find out ways to keep yourself motivated and inspired to do those tasks with enthusiasm.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Three ways to harness your energy

Your energy

The next time your attention is caught by a young toddler who is a handful for those in whose care he/ she is, notice that the toddler is full of raw energy. You too have grown up displaying similarly energy and zest only to be shackled over the years by chains of negative thoughts, self doubts, fear, lack of confidence and in many cases the festering wounds of failure, rebuke, criticism and in some cases rejection.

As long as you have life, you are a potent force of limitless energy; but you can use it profitably only if you light it up with your own initiative, daring and imagination. The energy is the same in each one of us but it is harnessed differently by different people at different times. The stoic zen master or yoga guru uses his/ her energy differently from the way a WWF wrestler or boxer would use it. The saying ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’ is an acknowledgement that raw energy can be harnessed and channeled to be potent and effective.

To channelize your energy and harness it effectively, in a simple and practical manner, you need to be aware of the following:

Your thoughts begin it: Every single invention/ discovery / theory/ activity begins first as a thought; be it an idea/ a dream/ an obsession/ a desire or simply the urge to do something. Pause and reflect on the numerous thoughts going through your mind at this precise moment. Some of you be appreciative of the reading so far and would be energized to read further. There could be others who find it interesting but have other thoughts overriding their urge to read. There could be others wanting to bookmark the page for latter reading or some others wanting to become a subscriber of the blog. Irrespective of what your thoughts are, your energies will point you to the direction you have to or want to go.

Your emotions amplify it: While thoughts act like the ignition that starts the vehicle, it is your emotions that give you the direction and trigger the reflex action to engage gears and grip the steering wheel of your life so as to begin your journey towards your goal. Unfortunately, many of us mimic our childlike behavior when left unattended in a car. We sit on the driver’s seat and mimic the actions of a driver, pretending to use the steering and emitting the noise of an engine in an overdrive. We expend our energies in pretending to drive but remain stationary. It is therefore essential that we let positive / proactive / actionable emotions come naturally to us. Visualize possibilities/ success/ passion engulfing your thoughts and ideas and your will naturally be motivated to take steps to translate your thoughts in success.

Your actions give it the desired momentum: Now that you have started the ignition and your emotions have energized you towards your goal, you need to act. Action is the acceleration that is essential to gain momentum and is the most potent form of your energy. If you have read this far, it is not an accident but a conscious decision to act that began with the thought to read it, the positive emotion that the contents will be beneficial and your action to focus on the reading despite numerous other tempting options. ( For me too it was difficult to give up seeing the IPL and the EPL but then I knew my post was long overdue). So you would have noticed that both you and I can use our energy productively and the best part is that that is we have an endless supply of energy within us.

Try this

  1. Write down the 5 most important things you need to achieve by the month end/ year end. Jot down 2 key activities that you have to do to achieve each of these goals. E.g. You want to buy a new home. Key things could be speaking to a bank to know loan amount you can get and identify a good real estate broker.
  2. All of us want to increase our savings. There are two ways to do it. Increase your income or reduce your expenses. You have to identify 2 ways to increase your income and 3 ways to decrease your expenses. Remember to have a target in mind for the savings you hope to increase by acting on your plans.
  3. Which of these positive qualities do you posses which you can harness effectively. ( you can add / identify other qualities not listed below)
  • Determination
  • Optimism
  • Daring
  • Faith
  • Focus
  • Calmness
  • Creativity

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Don’t forget this reality…

Dont forget this reality
Dont forget this reality

This is a good reality check and could perhaps also offer some comfort for YOU reading this at this moment. I bet you can’t deny that you are afraid/ fearful/ scared of something, yearn/ love/ crave for something  and for sure have lost /misplaced/ got fleeced of something. The good news is that this reality holds true for every single person around you. The better news is that despite this all of us can lead a very happy, peaceful and productive life.

Are these some of your fears? Death/ sickness/ failure/ rejection/ pain/ darkness/ loneliness

Did you feel the ecstasy of love? People/ Nature/ animals / gadgets/ places/ works of art

Could losing something precious derail your life? Your loved ones/ your favorite object / your job/ an opportunity/

The above is just an illustrative list. Perhaps you can add your own personal list of fears that have held you back from realizing your full potential or perhaps limited your risk taking abilities. There could be a vacuum created or a searing pain at having to sacrifice something you loved or do feel that you lost your way in life either through ignorance or foolishness or recklessness?

Now look at the cross roads of life that you are now standing at. Notwithstanding your age, background, financial strength and the like, the reality is that not just you but every single person has the same set of apprehensions as you but you now have a choice of making a life changing choice. So how would you now proceed ahead; would you let bygones be bygones and forge ahead taking on new challenges? Will you seek out opportunities to dare, do and win? Will the real you shed all inhibitions and dance with gay abandon?

Life is lived when you dare to confront your fears and overcome it, give abundantly of your love to one and all and freely share with others all that you love…. For that is when you and I when departing, leave behind us, Footprints on the sands of time*

Action Points

  1. Make a list of 3 negative emotions that have troubled you.
  2. Make a list of 3 positive emotions that you count amongst your strengths.
  3. Identify 3 qualities that you wish you could cultivate.
  4. Describe yourself in one sentence not exceeding 15 words.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Using head and heart

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.  – Donald Laird

As social animals, we human beings have no choice but to live in society which implies that we need to interact with others, adjust to the demands of societal norms and yet maintain our own identity and independence.  This poses a problem simply because the individuality that we pride on wants to break free of any shackles imposed on us while the social instinct in us forces us to toe the line that is determined by society and culture. It is reconciling this dichotomy that unconsciously poses a big dilemma for most of us.  Our quote today, provides a glimpse of the option available to us to effectively maintain our personal identity while also ensuring we do justice to our social and neighborly role.

To begin with, we need to asses our own approach to our personal values, beliefs and actions. Being pragmatic would perhaps gives us the smoothest passage forward and that is possible when we don’t get overtly emotional and become a tinge more practical thinking out solutions, selecting logical options and making choices that suit our individuality. Eg. When we lose a loved one, grief would be obviously what overcomes us. Yet in that moment of grief too we need to get control of our emotions and if we always believed in organ donation should initiate steps for that. On the other hand if we are more traditional then there is no need to take on the guilt of pandering to the demands of those urging you to donate the organs for it is a very personal and private decision.

On the other hand when we play our role as social animals and discharge our obligations as neighbors, friends, relatives or as another human being, we need to listen to our heart and less to our wisdom which is often based on reasoning, logic and taken without any emotions attached to it. Eg. If we are firm believers in organ donation, we cannot impose our will on others who may not share our sentiments because of their personal reasons. We must respect the sentiments of the parties involved and try to empathize with their emotions rather than quarrel or wrestle with their flawed logic as we would be tempted to think.  Take another scenario which is more prevalent the constant battle between parents who want their children to study and the children who are more keen to focus on their own interests be it games or computers or TV. Most parents use a hackneyed logic of equating studies with success in life which the children view as a bitter pill the parents are trying to push down their throat. On the other hand if the parents encouraged the children to pursue their own interests while setting some discipline to ensure that studies were also regularly  done, it could be a win win situation since the children would perhaps see the parents as allies in their efforts to excel.

Criticism offers perhaps the best opportunity for us to put the above maxim to full use. When we are criticized we should suspend our emotional discomfort and attempt to see if there is any truth in the points raise by our critics. If the criticism is untrue simply ignore it. However if it is true then we need to be grateful that out attention has been drawn to something that impedes our effectiveness and we should work on overcoming those flaws.  On the other hand when we have to be critical of others, then we must consider the emotional ramifications of our feedback on the other party and hence we must not be unduly harsh or hurtful. Instead we must handle their fragile emotions carefully and encourage them to overcome their flaws whilst also drawing attention to their strengths.  This will help them maintain their dignity, reinforce confidence in themselves and at the same time give them the self belief that they can improve with effort and persistence.

Remember: The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing. Blaise Pascal

Try this:

  1. Can you recollect the last 5 criticisms that came your way. Do you recollect who told them? Were the criticisms justified? What efforts did you do to learn and improve from those criticisms?
  2. Write down 3 strengths and 1 criticism you have concerning the following people.
  • Your favorite high school teacher
  • Your best friend
  • Your neighbor
  • Your own family members (list them out and write for each person)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Be true to yourself or…

We are betrayed by what is false within. George Meredith

One of the easiest signs to spot is someone lying because there is an involuntary tendency to look away from the others person eyes while lying. Body language experts will be able to spot numerous meanings in our actions and mannerism which would reveal a lot more than what our words convey. The rule of the game is simple; we cannot hide our emotions even if we can mask our thoughts when expressing ourselves in words or deeds. It obviously stands to reason that it is best that we be true to our innermost feelings rather than put on a façade. Unfortunately the ways of the world are so crooked that we are forced to either adopt or adapt to that or risk being in a minority or being ostracized.

So the question one needs to ask is if the old adage of ‘honesty is the best policy’ still holds true in today’s world. The reality is that the adage still holds very true but its implementation poses a huge problem for the overwhelming majority. There are numerous reasons why the average person finds it difficult to traverse the straight and narrow path of transparency and honesty. To begin with, the general value systems of the world have undergone a major metamorphosis. We too naturally are pressurized to adapt to this change and therefore we rationalize our attitudes and behavior thereby deviating from our core values and morals. E.g. taking a gift from a supplier is not longer taboo for a purchase executive and giving it is the norm for the suppliers.  The purchase executive is certain that the gift won’t influence his decisions and the supplier is certain that the gift is just a token of festivity and won’t have any bearing on the business decisions.

The numerous temptations that abound are the second major reason for us being false within. We are constantly being lured by false advertisements, tantalizing models, quick rich schemes, false promises etc. Once we fall prey, then we are no longer ashamed of the consequences. Thereafter, we convince ourselves that we are indulging in harmless activity and that we are simply stretching the rule book to keep up with the times. Most of us lack the moral courage to be different from the crowd and to stand firm and true to our personal values systems. E.g a studious student who is pressurized to allow a dullard to copy from his answer sheet, will find it difficult to handle the group pressure exerted. Thereafter, the studious student in pursuit of getting full marks would not be too repulsed by the idea of copying if it means he can get that one mark that will make the big difference.

There are many times when our own falseness pricks our own conscience hard and some of us do try hard to traverse the road less travelled by. Many a time this happens when our bluff is called or when we find it too hard to suppress our person repulsion of our own double standards. This actually reflects the reality that sooner or later our falseness betrays us and we make a valiant attempt to right the wrong. It is rightly said that if one sticks to the truth then one will not have to remember the numerous lies that one would otherwise have to resort to order to keep our lie going. It is also good to be aware of our own tone, choice of words, rate of speech, mannerisms and body language for  they are the ones that betray us first when we are false inside. Eg. Sarcasm is all about interpreting the words spoken through the timing, the choice of words, the background of communication and the tone and style in which the comment is delivered.

Remember: “False happiness renders men stern and proud, and that happiness is never communicated. True happiness renders them kind and sensible, and that happiness is always shared.” Charles de Montesquieu

Try this:

  1. Play the card game called bluff. It succinctly brings out the difficulty of being poker faced when lying and the manner in which other interpret body language.
  2. Jot down the three most embarrassing moments when you lied and were caught red handed. Also jot down the three acts of falseness that you committed and were never caught but its memory makes you ashamed.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com