Tag: Expectations

Expectations are a gift not a burden

Expectations are a gift not a burden

It takes a really different perspective, to understand and appreciate, how an expectation becomes a gift and that it is not a burden. Remember the festival times and birthdays, when each of us had some sort of expectations regarding the gifts, we believed we would get. Perhaps in some cases, the expectations still persists, except that the giver of the gift has changed, possibly to that of a spouse, grownup children, a new friend, the in laws etc. On the other hand, do you as an individual, get bogged down by the challenge of fulfilling expectations? It could be as simple as what gift or give someone or it could be more complex as, how do I fulfill the other person’s expectations of me when I myself am not motivated or confident of giving something appropriate?

To understand and appreciate the perspective of expectation being a gift, one needs to appreciate that expectations are always put only on those we have trust in; have faith in; people who we are sure love us a lot and believe in doing the best for us. Expectations arise because we place out trust in someone and that trust is earned because they have given ample evidence of their nature and love for us. It is true that many a time we have been disappointed when our expectations did not match up to what we had in mind. Other times, the expectations remained unfulfilled for a variety of reasons but while the pain of that moment may still be a little sore, we have still largely kept up our expectations in them again. Our expectations are proof of our understanding, appreciation, trust and value we place in the relationship.

If you are someone burdened with the onus of fulfilling expectations, look at those expectations as a testimony to other people looking up to you. This kind of trust is earned over time and reinforces the reality that you have are a person who people look up to, trust whole heartedly and believe. They have expectations from you because in their experience, what you offer in word, deed and gifts are valuable, chosen with care and apt. You have over time given others reason to believe in you. You have listened to them, you have kept them in your thoughts, you have the courage of conviction to give a feedback and you value the relationship with them.

Look at yourself as the Santa Claus that brings good cheer in all ways, at all times to many a people and thereby you have earned trust, respect and the challenge of fulfilling myriad expectations however big or small.

Try these:         

  • Ask yourself if there are people whose email forwards or watts app forwards are looked forward to by you? Can you identify the reasons for it? Is it because they forward you selective, meaningful, apt stuff that you can identify with?
  • Next challenge is for you to be as discreet, selective and discerning in your communications as the person whose communication you value.
  • Who disappointed you the most because he/ she/ they never came even close to fulfilling your expectations from them?  Have you also let down others in a similar way, when they had high expectations from you? What is common to both situations?
  • What was the most wonderful gift you ever received? Ask yourself why the value of that gift is priceless for you?
  • What is the best gift that you have gifted to anyone? What makes you think it is an excellent gift?
  • Is there any gift or surprise that you received that was completely unexpected and thrilling?
  • What was the gift you disliked or disapproved of and rankles you even today? Can you identify the reasons for this feeling of dislike?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog


Fulfilling expectations

The quality of our expectations determines the quality of our actions. André Godin

One reason for the frustrations of many is our inability to clearly identify our goals and our expectations. In the absence of clear expectations, we are constantly seeking something which always seems elusive and beyond our grasp. This leads to frustrations and irritation and the temptation to keep comparing with others who seem successful doesn’t help matters either. There are others who undermine their own abilities and are extra modest by nature thereby having minimum expectations and hence achieving far less than their true potential. Of course we also come across quite a few people who are boastful, brash and overconfident and attempt to bite off more than they can chew. The vast majority of us seem to fall in one of these three categories. The successful ones are those who by and large do not fall in the ambit of any of these categories.

It is interesting to study the style of those who are successful by our conventional yardstick of material wealth, social respect and a good family life. The one common observation one can make is that all of them uniformly had some aim and focus in their life. They spelled out their expectations from life after evaluating themselves and the environment around and set themselves challenging and motivating targets to achieve. They have with single minded devotion chased these targets, often making big sacrifices whilst relentlessly pursuing their goal. Another important thing to notice is that, they pace themselves in the pursuit of their goals. This effectively means that they keep setting their own expectations higher and higher as they progress in life.

If we keep our expectations high, we are bound to feel the pressure of it and hence will be more focused on taking the right proactive steps to attain our goals. That explains the success stories of those who join the IIT’s and get into the good B schools both in India and abroad. We will also take on more challenging and efficient means to ensure that we fulfill our expectations as per our plans. We may even invest more in order to ensure that we leave no stone unturned so as to reach our expectations. The numerous coaching classes that abound are proof of the extent to which people go in order to meet their academic expectations. Similarly professionals who take a sabbatical from work in order to pursue some high end academic courses are making a long term investment to fulfill their expectations.

It is said that there is always room at the top. However if one needs to reach there, we must plan for it but keep our expectations realistic and pragmatic. This effectively means that we must make steady progress up the ladder and not try to leapfrog and risk slipping off the slippery slopes of life. At the same time, we must be able to realize our true potential and match our expectations to our inherent potential.  It is also said that fortune favors the brave. So if one is brave enough to keep high expectations, then the chances of some lucky break coming ones way are equally high, because the break comes only to the one who is seeking it. One can also keep in mind the saying that ‘ if one aims for the stars, one may reach the tree tops’. Keeping high expectations would ensure that one attains much more than one’s own potential for the winds of our aspirations and the sheer power of our performance will invariably set our sails to those distant shores that we have set our sights on.

Remember: Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild expectations Ralph Charell

Try this:

  1. Think of your favorite social cause that you support. Identify an organization or NGO that works for that cause. Assume you want to raise funds for their charity. Think up a target for how much you will raise and the various means of raising it. Go on and try to double your expectations and raise funds for that cause and donate it to them.
  2. Recount 3 occasions when your expectations failed you and analyze the reasons for that. Also recount 3 instances when events turned out far beyond your expectations. What were the reasons for that and what were your feelings in those moments.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Expect nothing…

If you expect nothing, you’re apt to be surprised.  You’ll get it. Malcolm Forbes

We experience most of our disappointments simply because we have unrealistic expectations. Part of the problem stems from the fact that in an intensively competitive world, every one is hoping to stay on top of the heap and so our mindsets are trained to be competitive but often our skill sets are not honed to match that of the competition. While we may crave to be ahead of the competition, we may find ourselves woefully inadequate on the pitch and then the obvious outcome is failure and disappointment. The just concluded World Cup football tournament proves the point in as much as the fact that there were very high expectations from the African nations to prove themselves and yet almost all of them fell along the way. On the other hand very few people gave the Uruguayans any chance of doing well, and they surprised many including themselves with a masterly performance.

Unrealistic parental expectations are often the bane of a healthy upbringing for impressionable minds. Every parent wants his/ her child to excel in school and later in college and career. What they fail to appreciate is the natural skill sets that the child might have and even more fatal would be the parent’s inability to spot the limitations of the child. A child, very gifted in the fine arts, might often find himself /herself being chided for their ‘frivolous’ passion and at the same time goaded into spending more time on what they least like to do ; perhaps studying the languages or mathematics or social sciences. Reality TV has exposed the reality of parents visualizing their children as prodigies who will set the world ablaze with their talent. The inability of child prodigies to cope with the pressures of expectations are never given a second thought and the numerous horror stories of suicides, drug abuse and depression that plague many a prodigy are unfortunately looked upon as aberrations that happen to others.

It must be also understood that doing ones work without any expectations is not an ideal situation either. The key to motivation, for example, lies in the fact that people have some expectations of rewards commensurate with the effort and the final outcome. Similarly, it is only when one has expectations that one can set norms and targets that help us benchmark our performance. What is important is to be pragmatic about the expectations and then attaining or achieving anything more would be a real bonus that is both unexpected and satisfying. Many a time we are guilty of being underachievers simply because we subconsciously lower our expectations so that we don’t look bombastic or so that we can ‘hedge against even the remotest possibility of failure’ and then exceed our expectations by leaps and bounds and get a sense of great achievement.

In the ultimate analysis, we need to be aware that we have multiple choices in life and we need to carefully exercise our options. Too much of expectations can lead to big disappointments while too little expectations can be counterproductive in harnessing ones full potential. Be passionate, be pragmatic and be content!

Remember: Don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality. Ralph Marston

Try this:

  1. Estimate how much time you will take to unscramble the following 5 words and after estimating the time start the exercise. 1.LEOAN  2. COHAV 3.RAZEG 4. LANAS 5.TSAPM  * Answers in the post dated 14th July 2010 in our sister blog www.poweract.blogspot.com  
  2. Attempt to learn 3 new playing card tricks. Practice hard and then try the tricks on friends and colleagues.  Alternatively try to learn some magic tricks and perform it in front of an audience.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog   www.poweract.blogspot.com