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Posts Tagged ‘Failure’

17- 14 May 17-Discover yourselfThe first step is to believe you are unique… different from your siblings, your twin and from every other human being ever created or to be created. Once you realize this, it should be a strong motivator for you to leverage your uniqueness and showcase your identity to the world. Far too often we associate academic or sporting brilliance at an early age as a sure sign of future success. The reality is that with few exceptions, most of those who showed early promise could not cope with the pressures of the world or did not have the nerve to move out of their comfort zone and make a unique mark. Of course the word successful is relative. As long as you use your talents, promise and abilities to become someone better than anyone hoped you would, it could be a fair indicator of talent. A better measure would be if you are happy with what you have achieved and do not have any regrets about not fulfilling your promise, that would be real success.

To become what you are capable of, focus on these:

Believe in yourself – Have the confidence that you have it in you to do something special. While academic excellence could boost your chances of doing well, it is actually the self belief, the discipline and the passion that one brings in, that opens the doors to achievement and success. Self belief also fortifies you against nay-sayers, the critics, those who discourage you and those who constantly belittle your progress. Self belief gives you the energy to carry on when progress seems slow or non-existent and when obstacles and failures occasionally threaten to derail your plans.

Be prepared to learn – Every type of formal learning as well the experiences of each passing day, gives invaluable practical learning. The challenge is to be open minded and willing to soak in the learning. Occasionally the learning can be tough and painful; other times it can be easy and simple. The key is to seek out the learning each day and put it into practice by adopting / adapting good practices and giving a wide berth / avoiding the bad practices.

Be prepared to fail – Failure is an essential requirement for success, for it is the true measure that explains life’s uncertainties and challenges.  It also prepares one to anticipate troubles, teaches one to think creatively, toughens one to face adversities and most of all it helps one to realize one’s own potential, passion and purpose. Failure is also a sure sign that one is trying and doing something and not merely day dreaming.

Be prepared to take risks –Although one is prepared to fail, there is always the psychological barrier that often limits us from daring, moving out of our comfort zone and taking the big leap. Many a time it is the outcome of ‘paralysis by analysis’. Other times it is simply because the going is good and so why test one’s potential attitude. Unless one thirsts for success, enhances one’s benchmark, craves to make a mark, the risk taking ability remains dormant. Visualizing the big picture, focusing on the ultimate goal and challenging yourself are the best ways to take risks and realize one’s latent potential.

Keep going – There could be setbacks, you could get tired and discouraged and occasionally the mind would waver and set in motion negative thoughts. Pause but do not stop. Catch your breath, reinforce your zeal, get inspired by your vision, be motivated by the challenge you have taken up and keep going.

You have a point to prove to yourself; to be somebody nobody thought you could be !

Try these:

  1. List out the 5 – 10 things you were keen on doing but which others discouraged you from doing or that which people said was beyond your capability. Now choose one which you are still passionate about and set yourself a deadline and a plan of action to achieve it. Begin now.
  2. If you have an audience, what is the one ability that you can showcase and grab their attention? It could be a magic/ card trick, an exquisite piece of musical talent, it could be mimicry, cartooning or painting or sketching, telling your favorite joke in your own unique style, creating your own limerick instantaneously etc.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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6-6-feb-17-what-is-your-excuseExcuses come naturally to us. It is our defense mechanism against inertia, criticism and failure. Part of the reason is our upbringing. As children, if we were encouraged, appreciated and motivated chances are that we minimize excuses and focus on getting results. On the other hand, if as children we were discouraged from exploring, criticized for failing and shouted at for the mess created rather than appreciated for the outcome, excuses are the only shield we have to take refuge under. Unfortunately, over time, excuses become an extension of our personality and we rationalize every unsavory action of ours with creative excuses, most times merely fooling ourselves.

Once we remove excuses from our lexicon the benefits are enormous; just try it and see the difference.

You begin to dare/ explore – Fear of failure and criticisms are the two red flags that often derail our hopes and ambitions. We limit our actions to only those that we are sure will succeed, those that meet approval of peers and elders and those that are tried and tested. We have ready excuses for anything untoward. Give up excuses and then you become more daring and start exploring options that you are passionate about. Success and failure are just milestones/ markers along the way not millstones that weigh you down.

You discover hidden potential – You give expression to your passion, move out of your comfort zone and discover talents and potential that remained dormant within you. You do not have to rationalize your actions or the consequences; no excuses for anything; you take responsibility. Dare do win is your only motto.

You become creative – When failure is not a fear, when justification is not needed, then excuses have no place in your lexicon. You can give expression to your inner spirit, the vivid imagination you have, the adventure of a lifetime with you owing no one an explanation or justification. No excuses needed; more life explored; fun and failure is just a phase of life but the process is what brings the thrill.

You do not fear failure – If at first you don’t succeed you just begin to try again. If you find that you were following the wrong trail in life, all you need to do is change tracks with no excuses for your actions or the past. No fear of failure comes from the freedom of not having to explain or justify or give excuses.

You succeed – Success is not just a destination; it is actually the enjoyment of the journey. The destination is merely a marker in life that tells us how far we have come. Every moment is a challenge, so also an opportunity to make life more colorful and meaningful. When we leave behind the baggage of excuses to be given we are no longer weighed down by expectations, More importantly we are on a journey in which we set the pace, the destination and the breaks. Every move forward is success for we have traversed ahead. No excuses, no regrets, no failures, no finish line.

Try these:

  1. How can you color up the monotony of your work life, personal life and social life? Be creative, be daring, explore and act.
  2. Find creative ways to do the following:
  • Overcoming a bad habit / addiction
  • Becoming more productive in the work place and at home
  • Surprising friends and family
  • Overcoming an inhibition or fear
  • Picking up a good habit
  • Increasing your savings every month

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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13-24-Dissapointments are natural...but...

Disappointments arise when outcomes do not meet expectations. As human beings we tend to brood longer over our disappointments but relish our successes fleetingly. Ask yourself how often you complaint, whine, criticize, find fault, get upset / angry, feel hurt, pass on blame, keep regretting, try to be alone/ silent etc. On the other hand how often do you smile, praise, thank, appreciate, remain enthusiastic, compliment others, be the company of others, say/ do something positive spontaneously etc. Your honest answers would give you a clue to how you cope with disappointments which are unavoidable but never unmanageable.

Even if we are optimists and have a positive attitude we can still be disheartened and disillusioned by major disappointments. If we are pessimistic and have a tinted outlook then it becomes imperative that we find ways and means to cope with the disappointments that we would encounter off and on.

Here are a few strategies to cope with disappointments.

It can’t get worse. Imagine you failed in your exams. You lose a year now. It has happened; but now you can honestly tell yourself that it is the worst possible outcome but it can’t get worse than this. Once you make this profound discovery moving on with life becomes relatively much easier than brooding over the why it happened; if only I studied more; perhaps I should have taken a chance and cheated and the numerous such thoughts that keep swimming in your head.

Thank god it is only this much. Recently a family member came home way past midnight and gently broke the news that he met with an accident. Obviously you are rattled and then shocked to see the person swaddled in bandages. Once you get over the initial shock the next natural progression is to seek more information about what happened all the while berating the person for being careless and irresponsible. Once we have calmed down and get hold of ourselves we rationalize that thank god it wasn’t worse. From then on we are able to handle the shock and disappointment with more pragmatism and acceptance.

Ok so how do I limit the damage? You are frantically searching for an important document and to your horror and terrible disappointment you just can’t seem to locate it. Your panic is matched only by the disconcerting feeling that you are heading for disaster. You search every nook and corner, you can rummage through every drawer and cupboard, you vent your frustration and then fall on your knees seeking divine intervention; alas all in vain. The quicker you get hold of your emotions the better the chances of finding an alternative solution that will help limit the damage perhaps even find an alternative solution.

What is good about the situation? Your team has played and excellent match in which you dominated the opponents and yet you lost the game thanks to a freak goal by the opposition. It is hard to come to terms with such heartbreaking disappointments. The results can be overturned; the missed chances cannot be retrieved; a blame game won’t help. A debriefing by the coach however can turn up a surprising number of useful and invaluable insights about the game. The mistakes made, the attitude and approach of the players, the chinks in the opponents armor than can be exploited next time around, the difference in play in both periods of the game; all of these are more seriously imbibed when the bitterness of disappointment is more acute.

Nothing can overwhelm me. You reach the airport only to be told that your flight has been cancelled and your connecting flights and holiday plans have in simply gone for a toss in a jiffy. Anger, frustration, helplessness, sadness, panic seem to engulfing you. Your mind is in a whirl, you can’t focus and you are in a tizzy. Quickly take deep breaths and calm yourself. While asking the reason for the flight cancellation may be a natural instinctive reaction, wasting time delving into it would be both fruitless and frustrating. Instead, focus on outlining the alternatives to salvage the situation. Take proactive action to implement your plans and be pragmatic about your subsequent actions.

This too shall pass. Pause and think; how many disappointments have actually
ruined your life or brought it to a complete standstill. The fact that you are 
reading this is proof that you are hale and hearty despite the many 
disappointments that you would have faced in your life. The reality of life
mandates that each of us will have triumphs (success) and disasters
(disappointments)  and the trick to overcome disappointment is to remember
Rudyard Kipling’s lines in his poem IF 
If you can meet with triumph and disaster 
And treat those two imposters just the same;

For neither success not failure is permanent… for this too shall pass. 

Try this:

  1. You overhear your best friend criticizing you.
  2. You were hauled up by your superior / school management for an aberration done by someone else and no amount of pleading your innocence can cut any ice with them.
  3. You encounter a flat tyre on deserted stretch of the highway.
  4. You press the buzzer during the tie breaker of a quiz final and discover that the right answer is on the tip of your tongue but alas you are unable to articulate it on time.
  5. You go to highly rated restaurant and to you horror the food is awful and disappointing.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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The distance doesn’t matter; only the first step is difficult. Madame Marquise du Deffand

Even as I write this post I am acutely aware of how relevant the above quote is, for when I started this blog on 1st Jan 2010 I had plenty of misgivings about my ability to sustain writing regularly. Yet today while writing my 173rd post at the rate of one post a day, I feel a sense of exhilaration, that I began despite my misgivings and that I have a decent readership and realized my own potential. The toughest part of a long journey is the first step for despite our best preparation we are assailed by self doubt and always left wondering if we are really well prepared to begin. Fear of failing is perhaps the biggest single reason for us not even attempting a task let alone beginning a challenging task.

There is always the unknown factor that will be spoilt sport to the best laid plans, but that should never be a deterrent to us aiming high and realizing our dreams. The trick to beginning lies in us being clear about our goals and our ability to break down the goal bound process into smaller manageable intermediary goals. A good example is how a marathon runner plans out his / her strategy. Unless one has a world class timing winning the marathon may not be the real goal but finishing the marathon will be the primary goal. Thereafter the entire marathon is divided into distances to be reached within the preplanned time frames. Depending on the ability and style of the runner the strategy is planned for each stage of the race and a suitable training schedule, diet plan and fitness schedule is designed. The toughest part is to motivate oneself to run daily without missing the training schedule.  The goal  of completing the  marathon is a great motivator and the prior planning provides the right dose of impetus as well as focus for each day’s practice schedule.

Many of us have grandiose ideas and noble intentions which rarely see the light of day. Part of the reason is that we never commit our ides and visions by writing it down. Even if one were to write it down what really sounds the death knell of all good intentions is lack of self discipline. Look at our school days when we all had to follow a time table. Our parents ensured that we left for school on time and out teachers managed the classes and disciplined us well. We did have a similar time table when in college but with little or no supervision we took liberties with the classes and perhaps did not fully realize our potential. To be self disciplined we must be passionate about our goal for then we can visualize us nearing it every day provided we stick to the regime scheduled. It also helps to find innovative self motivational techniques and reward one’s self on attaining the intermediary goals. Eg. For every 2 hours of study plan a break of half an hour of TV viewing or listening to music.

Finally it is important to realize that it is never too late to start. Neither your age nor your background matters if you are passionate about what you really want to achieve. Every great novel began with someone typing out the first word; the greatest chefs must have definitely begun by tasting their own inedible preparations and there must not be a doctor who began life without toying around with a corpse. Different shades of life but one which has a loud message for each of us: START NOW !

Remember: “The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.”  David Weinbaum

Try this:

  1. Make a START by clicking the following link http://poweract.blogspot.com/2010/02/start.html
  2. Jot down some of your passions that you haven’t even attempted or indulged in. Now choose two of them and work out an action plan to ensure that you get going with attempting it before the year is out.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our weekly Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Confidence … is directness and courage in meeting the facts of life. John Dewey

Confidence is the natural outcome of ability, courage and enterprise and gives an individual both character and success. Many of us though underestimate either all or all of the above qualities in us and hence lose out on realizing our full potential. Others, on the other hand have a misplaced sense of their own abilities and venture into bravado rather than exhibit confidence.  There are still others who hate the spotlight, shy away and prefer to be recluse thereby robbing the world of appreciating their talent and quality of work. At this juncture each of you reading this post must decide where exactly we fall in any of the above broad categories. This will enable you to read further with the right perspective.

Look at the initial episodes of any reality TV show where finalists are being screened. Be it a ‘So you think you dance’ show or an’ Indian Idol’ show what amuses and shocks us is the audacity of people to hog the lime light albeit for a few moments with ridiculous antics, terrible talent and sheer arrogance.  Ironically the same episodes will also feature the genuinely confident and at times we get rare glimpses of people who never feel comfortable when the arc lights are on them. If you were to identify your strongest talents and participate in showcasing it would you be able to truthfully say that you could give off a confident and quality exhibition of your talents or would you be over awed by the occasion and foul it up without remorse?

Closer home, how do you react to mistakes you make? Can you truthfully acknowledge it to the authorities be it a boss a parent or a friend?  Are you fearful of the consequences and prefer to remain silent or misrepresent fact so as to distance yourself from the mistake?  Confidence is all about coming clean, acknowledging faults, taking responsibility and correcting your actions. Look around and you will find plenty of successful people and each of them will have at least one major failure story to share. What is the bigger lesson is how they overcame failure and confidently pursued their beliefs. It is important to remember that while we can for some time color the facts, misrepresent it, hide it, camouflage it, distance one’s self from it etc. when the truth is revealed the facts are always stripped bare and perhaps you will be caught in the spotlight without even a fig leaf. Why not exhibit confidence and bite the bullet so that the ordeal is tackled with élan and panache.

Finally one must never confuse confidence and arrogance. They are as different as apples and oranges. While confidence is positive in connotation, has a quiet dignity and reinforces a point emphatically arrogance is crude, vulgar and often an uncouth display of power masquerading as confidence or fear putting on a crude façade of a an ‘on your face’ type of confidence.

Remember: “Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” Peter T. Mcintyre

Try this:

  1. Observe 3-7 things that you envy in some friends or close associates or well known personalities. Ensure that there is at least one item of their dressing, one item of their mannerism and one item of style. Eg. They wear a bowler hat or they use a classy cologne. Your challenge is to be able to replicate that in your lifestyle at least briefly but with confidence and not diffidence.
  2. For the next fortnight consciously avoid blaming anyone or any circumstance for any mistakes that you may have a made. In fact take responsibility for every mistake made by you or your subordinates. Do you feel that you are more confident that you can take on more responsibility now that you have learned to stop fearing failure?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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