Tag: Feedback

Have a cracker of a Diwali by bursting …

20- 19 Oct 14 -Burst your ego

Diwali without crackers is never a Diwali. Yet, the awareness of pollution, the dangers that lurk in some types of crackers, the knowledge that a lot of child labour and inhuman labour conditions are prevalent in cracker manufacturing units and the understanding that crackers can be symbolic of the festival but not the heart and soul of the festival is slowly seeping into the psyche of people. Hopefully this awareness is spreading and encouraging people to cut down on bursting crackers during the Diwali festival.

Diwali is also a good time to reflect on how to burn and bury some of our personal weaknesses be it our negative attitude, our pessimistic thinking, our paranoia of failure and the like. However the first step to do this is to burst our ego and identify our limitations. So here is a new way to celebrate Diwali by bursting our EGO instead of crackers. Ironically ego is an essential virtue that helps an individual appreciate his/ her self worth, gives confidence and daring to move beyond one’s comfort zone and nourishes an individual’s morals and values. However, far too often our ego tends to get bloated by success, power and adulation from others. That is when our ego needs to be pricked and burst in the same manner that a surgeon would operate and get rid of an undesirable growth. The difference though is that a surgeon has many tools to diagnose the malady but as individuals we have to make a special effort to be aware of our bloated ego which can then be burst to get us back in shape.

Here are 3 diagnostic tools to helps us identify our ego

Feedback from others – Time and time you would always get a variety of messages from friends, colleagues, family members and strangers. If you pay attention to their messages, you would often get a clue to how much they appreciate like and respect you. Pay more attention and then you will also learn to discern the messages that are often vaguely critical, occasionally brutally honest and mostly gently camouflaged as sugar coated negative feedback.

Being aware of what goes on around us – It also helps to notice the behaviour and responses of people around to get a feel of how you are perceived by those you interact with. Perhaps you find some people deliberately avoiding you or refusing to engage with you. Others could be stiff and artificial when you are around. There could be others who are cynical, make snide remarks, sarcastic or provocative when interacting with you. It is possible that the problem is with them but it is equally probable that your ego has a key role in making them disturbed when you are around.

Being aware of our own actions and reactions – This is a tough challenge because we are often blinded to our own faults. However if we take time to introspect we would realise that there are times when we easily take offense, get loud and boorish, are extremely harsh and critical of those whom we do not agree with or do not like. Similarly we would notice that some people tend to get us easily irritated, we are sarcastic or disparaging in our comments about others, are not modest about what we have achieved and find it impossible to apologize even if a situation warrants it. A reality check would often point to a bloated ego behind which we cover our numerous faults.

To burst a bloated ego use these 3 tools.

Acceptance – While the diagnostic tools would help reveal the problem with our ego, the tougher part is to accept the diagnoses. For a long time we would deny it or rationalize it. However it is only when we accept our fault that would be taking the first step to curing our ailment. Acceptance is an acknowledgment that we realize our faults and then corrective action is real possibility. However acceptance is just the first big step to bursting ones ego.

Humility – The word humility is misused liberally by people particularly political parties who lose elections and claim that they accept the people’s verdict with humility. Humility is the realisation that whatever heights we have attained are temporary and fortunes fluctuate in the blink of an eye. Humility is the one virtue that will always ground us to reality and allow us the realisation that all of us whether born into greatness or inherited greatness are prone to the vagaries of life having to suffer the pain and hurts like any other human being. Humility would be the torch that lights the way into us walking the path of values, give us strength of character and treat others as you would have others treat you.

Revising upward our personal standards – The whole problem with a bloated ego boils down to the fact that we are obsessed with our current personal standards and expect the world to believe that those standards are the ultimate. We grow only when we set the bar higher and aim for that. So if we are able to raise our personal standards a wee bit higher our focus would be on attaining that rather than on looking for appreciation for our current standards. Ego gets bloated when we keep blowing our own trumpet, make others dance to our tunes and do not realize that the beat has changed.

Try this:

  1. If you were forced into doing one of the following, name two of them are you most likely to fall victim to?
  • Cheating in an exam
  • Telling lies
  • Not naming a culprit you know when questioned
  • Deliberately not keeping a promise because it was inconvenient
  • Now examine your motives for not indulging in the others.
  1. Name 3 of your strengths that you are most proud of. How would you react to someone who criticizes any of your strengths.
  2. Read up on EGO – Exaggerated Grandiose Opinion by clicking on the link

Burst your ego this DIWALI and light up your life and fill it with a new joy !

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.in

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

http://www.poweract.blogspot.in

Dear Friends,

Today’s post is very different from the normal posts. I am taking this opportunity to share with some salient features of this blog and to update you about how it has shaped up over the last year and a half. For me, the very thought that I have managed to last so long in my quest to share with you some Inspirational and Motivational content is both  an exhilarating feeling and a humbling thought. Exhilarating because this blog has achieved a milestone of over 70,000 views and 500 followers in this realtively short span of time.  A BIG THANK YOU to EACH of you who visit the blog and especially for the 500 odd ardent followers of this blog. I am humbled by the realization that but for your encouragement, this blog would never have reached these milestones.  A special thank you to the many followers, who have given their comments, rated the blog and passed on the links to friends and contacts.

In January 2010 when this blog began, I kept an ambitious target of writing every single day. The first few days were heady for in the initial enthusiasm I was able to keep writing daily. Reality soon hit me hard, when within a few weeks, the effort became laborious, the ideas stopped flowing and the rather forlorn thought that no one was reading my blog became a big dampener. Fortunately for me a few colleagues, some friends and surprisingly a number of strangers soon signed on as followers and then overnight I felt responsible to ensure that they were given their daily fix of Inspirational and Motivational inputs. I am proud that in the first 365 days I managed to write for a good 340 days or so and some of the days I didn’t post was simply because I was overseas then.

This year 2011, I have cut down my posts drastically. The strain of writing everyday was a wee bit too much and once I had proved to myself that I could write every single day, the challenge was missing too. More importantly, there have been other commitments that have taken centre stage and so the blog has had to bear the brunt of it. I am not too disappointed though primarily because I also got some feedback that there was reader fatigue since the daily posts saturated their ability to imbibe the contents, attempt the Try This and experience the learning. I also noticed a steady drop in feedback and rating which to my mind also signaled an overdose of the blog. However there have been a few ardent fans who have kept inquiring why I have cut down on the blog posts and they have reinforced the belief that my work is not in vain. The sudden spurt in followers over the last couple of months has also been very encouraging. I shall definitely be writing the blogs, perhaps twice a week.

I would welcome FEEDBACK from each one of you about the blogs, my sharing today and would welcome both bouquets and brickbats if any. I would urge you to continue to patronize the blog, spread word about it to those who you feel will benefit from the contents and be assured that I shall continue to pontificate as before.

I take this opportunity to Thank Each One of YOU once again for your support, patronage and appreciation  of both www.actspot.wordpress.com and www.poweract.blogspot.com

Wishing each of you success in your endeavors and in having a fulfilling life filled with love, happiness and contentment.

Warm regards

B.Jacob

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

True friends…

The best mirror is an old friend. Anon

Before you read any further, get up go to the mirror and have a good look at yourself. Did you notice the creases on your forehead, the tiny pimple on your face, the beginning of baggy eyes or perhaps you noticed at least one grey hair. If you didn’t see any of these, then you need to look again or improve the lighting or change your mirror. The beauty of a mirror is not in what it reveals but in honestly displaying back warts, moles, pimples and all without fear or favor. Unfortunately a mirror cannot reflect the person in you; your attitudes, your inner feelings, the fears, hopes, desires that permeate your thoughts. An old friend is thus your best mirror who helps you see yourself from the inside.

An old friend is one who knows us intimately and more importantly someone who knows us for a long time. When we appreciate that friendship is all about a good understanding, a close intimacy and utmost trust we realize that over the many years we have shared most of our innermost feelings with our friends. They know how we behave, react, respond and express ourselves in varied situations and circumstances. It is also possible that they have in subtle and not so subtle ways pointed out what they felt were undesirable qualities, traits, behavioral tendencies in us. Depending on our moods, our interpretations of those criticisms and our closeness to our friends, we could have partially acknowledged some criticism, defended most and ignored what didn’t suit us. In extreme cases we could have attributed motives to our friends and perhaps made our friendship more circumspect and even unfortunately in rare cases broken a friendship.

As a friend to others, we too have a similar obligation to our friends. There is risk in being too upfront and forthright and so we need to be more tactful, time our feedback appropriately and be unbiased and fair. However many a time we believe that criticism will not be taken in the right spirit and so most times our observations and criticism of others are shared with other close friends while the protagonist remains blissfully unaware and incapable of taking any proactive steps. It is just as important for us to encourage our friends and point out their strengths and abilities. There are many times when a wavering friend on the verge of taking a major personal or professional decision requires a friend’s nudge by way of support to take the plunge. Many a time as a friend our responsibility is to stand by a friend when he/ she is going through a personal crisis even if it was self inflicted or a result of foolhardiness on their part despite your warnings. Unlike a mirror which stoically reflects, a good friend must proactively empathize and sympathize making us one better than the heartless mirror.

Remember: “Self-revelation is a cruel process. The real picture, the real you never emerges. Looking for it is as bewildering as trying to know how you really look. Ten different mirrors show you ten different faces.” Shashi Deshpande

Try this:

  1. Name three faults in your best friend. Have you been able to tell your friend about these faults? If not what has held you back?  If you have told how has the friend reacted to it?
  2. What are the 3 criticism you have received from anyone, which hurt you the most? Were those criticisms justified? Did any feedback from a good friend hurt you? Have you severed ties with a good friend because of what he/ she said and you didn’t like it because it hurt you? Have you ever apologized and made up with your friend?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com