Tag: Forget the past

Create magic moments

16- Make moments count

Some of us get frustrated waiting for the right moment, there are others who lament and rue those moments they missed taking advantage of and then there are plenty of us who wonder what the right moment ever is. Each breathe we take, is a moment that is all ours to utilize. Yes even the sleeping hours can be profitably used to dream up new effective plans, provided of course we go to bed with such an objective in mind. In reality, the fact that we go to bed with thoughts of attaining something worthwhile, gives us a clue as to what to do in our waking hours, to pursue that worthwhile goal. However unlike our every breathe that is automatic, capturing the right moment is actually possible only with effort. We need to first work on creating the right moment, and then be aware of the perfect time to make our move and grasp those moments and make it memorable.  So now ask yourself what was the most memorable moment of today?

Picture / visualize what you want. You create moments only when you have a purpose and goal to attain. Without it, we would never be an evolved animal but merely a specie like the rest of the animal kingdom who live merely from meal to meal with evolutionary diversions being a bonus moment in the humdrum of everyday living.  Man/ woman (human race in general) alone is blessed with the privilege to create wonderful moments to experience, share and reminiscence. In daily life, these moments will never be as dramatic as winning a contest or getting an award or breaking some records etc. Yet, we can create and cherish those moments daily by focusing on how we can contribute in our own little way to making the world around us a wee bit better each day.

Here are some things we can do daily to create those magic moments

Spread positivity – Yes there is a lot wrong with the world around. Yet the world has survived many doomsayers prophesies. So seek out the good around, be optimistic, focus on what is going on right. Go around spreading cheer, giving hope, sharing your enthusiasm, injecting a spirit of pride in those we come in contact with daily.

Stand up for your beliefs/ values – Standing up for what we perceive as right or for the values we hold dear is challenging, for there would be many others holding a different and possibly conflicting point of view. It is essential therefore that we are heard aloud, our point of view articulated clearly, our arguments unbiased and rationale and that we are willing to listen to others who may not share our views. We may not come to a definitive conclusion but we certainly won’t be steamrolled or let a brute majoritarian viewpoint be imposed de facto. That would be the moment that you create for the world to see your individuality.

Be there for others – At some stage in life each of us requires help from others. Seek out those who need such support and reach out to them. It could be someone struggling to take a decision, someone who is lonely and scared, it could be someone wanting to share a thought or fear or it could be someone wanting acceptance. Simply being polite, well mannered, being a good listener is all it takes to make those magic moments for others and yourself.

Act decisively to bring change – All of us have complaints. Can we start doing something about our grievances? Start working on finding solutions to our grievances and soon we would be  getting others to join us in the quest of a solution not merely lamenting about our problems. You would create that moment by acting decisively to bring about change rather than joining the chorus of complainants.

Appreciate and encourage – At a more simple and personal level, you can create moments by appreciating others who have achieved something and encouraging those who are yet to fulfill their potential. Appreciation and encouragement are very fulfilling when one does it spontaneously, means it genuinely and gives of it freely. Look out for opportunities to spread such cheer and optimism daily.

Pardon and forgive – If we feel wronged we find it hard to pardon and forgive those who we see as perpetrators of the injustice. As a result, long after the event has passed, we still nurture a grievance, secretly hope to avenge it and want to plot the others downfall or atleast get a vicarious pleasure in their suffering.  Yet it is that moment when we can forgive and pardon that will set us at peace, free us from a mental bondage and create a moment of personal exhilaration.

Accept and let go – Some events will overwhelm us. We cannot turn the clock back and yet we either live in denial or we seek comfort in lamenting ‘if only’. The moment we let go of the crutch of denial or lament, we would make dramatic progress in leading a happier, fulfilling and meaningful life. Accept the mistakes of the past, let it remain in the past, focus on the opportunities ahead and the enormous potential you have to make life even more wonderful. It is that moment you create that will transform you into the person that you really are meant to be.

Try these:

Go to a vantage point like a street level café in a crowded market place or a bustling railway station or bus terminus and simply observe the people passing by. Pay attention to those walking slowly, those lingering, those looking lost and confused, those on the verge of tears. Be grateful for your more well off life and attempt to mitigate the misery of one such person you notice.

Go and visit an elderly friend or relative who is seeking company or visit the sick in the hospital nearby. Perhaps you can  visit a home for the physically/ mentally challenged and create some magic moments for them too.

Maybe you would like to write or speak to someone who you could not pardon or someone who you would like to appreciate. Maybe you can volunteer for a movement about which you are passionate but have not yet committed. Is there a regret that you want to let go off and walk away from. Write it down and then tear it up and trash it.

Learn to create those moments that you will cherish henceforth! Go forth and be blessed with magic moments and timeless memories.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Make a difference

make a difference today

As we grow up, within our family environment, the school environment and friends circle, we are exposed to good values, good thoughts and imbibe the power of discernment. However, as we widen our circle of friends, acquaintances, professional colleagues and interact more with the general environment around us, our original set of values and beliefs get slowly eroded. We then learn to rationalize our behavior and attitude to adjust to the influences that are too overbearing to ignore and too tempting to avoid. That is when we end up being different from what we were brought up to be.

Yet it is never too late to change and embrace our core values even if that comes at an apparently heavy cost. You can actually make a difference to your life and those whose lives you influence and here is how you can begin today. HELP yourself.

Have self belief – Trust your abilities and believe in your core values. That is when you will begin to resist temptations, seek out the path of self righteousness and have the courage of conviction to withstand the pressures be it outright threats, the lure of amassing wealth or the fear of being isolated. Help yourself get up and get out of the quagmire you are currently in.

Explore possibilities – If you are compelled by circumstances to pursue a path for which you have a strong antipathy, it is for you to think differently and explore alternatives to get out of the vicious circle in which you find yourself trapped. E.g. as a student the pressure to copy or let others copy from you is often too difficult to ignore. However a strong resolve to accept the outcome without resorting to unfair means would spur you to study harder and relish the results. Similarly be steadfast in your resolve not succumb to pressures to let others copy and you could try by beginning to solve the question paper in random order. Since most people solve papers in sequential order you would be unable to succumb to the pressure of others to let them cheat from your paper.

Let go of the past – We brood over our mistakes, wistfully think about possibilities that have long ago eluded us and often seethe over those avoidable blunders which we committed. While we must not forget the lesson that we learnt from the past, the way to make up is by beginning immediately and doubling our efforts. Successful inventors and scientific breakthroughs are testimony to this reality. You too can remodel your life and make a significant difference in your thoughts and deeds by getting rid of the deadweight of the past.

Prepare to be different. – If you have to be different you must stand out.

  • You must first begin to radiate from within – self belief will help you do that.
  • Then you must do things differently – exploring possibilities will help you find exciting alternatives.
  • Next is to be seen as different – letting go of the past and adapting to the current reality will portray you in different light.

You suddenly discover that you are a different person; brimming with confidence, bubbling with ideas, optimistic about the future and standing head and shoulders above the others.

You have now made a difference to yourself and a bigger difference to those around you.

Try this:

  1. Attempt a change in your external makeup – maybe hairstyle; perhaps style of dressing; work on your body language; work on your vocabulary/ accent/ tone;
  2. Attempt a change in your mental makeup – read something different; focus on a new learning; confront your fears and try something that you never dared to; change your attitude to people whom you resented or disliked;
  3. Attempt a change in your life style – change your eating habits; your daily routine; if you are an outdoor person try to spent more time indoors and vice versa; commit yourself to a social cause

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Forgiving friends…

It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend. Madame Dorothee Deluzy

Forgiveness does not come easily to anyone. We find it hard to forgive because often the hurt caused is too raw and painful to be condoned. Our ego and self respect won’t permit us to let bygones be bygones. We are seething with anger and revenge is uppermost in our minds and forgiveness will dilute that feeling which we see as a manly sign. There are times when social and peer pressure force us to abandon all thoughts of forgiveness lest we have to face the wrath and fury of our own supporters. Whatever the reason, it takes a large heart and plenty of love to forgive someone who has wronged us.

When we feel wronged by an unknown person we are quick to take affront simply because we believe the other person is careless, inconsiderate and deserves punishment rather than mercy and forgiveness. We would rarely venture to find out the real cause of the problem or misunderstanding which possibly could throw up new revelations. Yet by nature we are quick to condemn and almost reluctant to admit our mistakes if we realize it. If the wrong is done by someone whom we do not get along with or dislike or someone we consider an enemy our immediate reaction is that the deed was done deliberately with wrong intent and with full knowledge of the perpetrator. Our immediate  thoughts are to get even and possibly extract revenge for what we visualize as deliberate acts. At this point forgiveness is far removed from our minds and our fury and rage blind us to any possibility of reconciliation.

Nothing can be as hurtful as realizing that someone who is a friend has betrayed us or let us down deliberately. The hurt stems from the fact that we never expected someone who is close and intimate with us to become a villain in our lives. On one hand we cannot imagine such a situation and on the other hand the reality hits us hard and hurts us deeply.  At this point we believe that an enemy can be forgive because we expect only such behavior but that it would be stupid and spineless to forgive a friend who betrays us.  More than anything else we feel foolish that we have trusted the friend, are embarrassed that we could not see the friends nefarious intentions and connive ourselves that he deserves no mercy and definitely no forgiveness.

If we pause and let our rationality talk to our senses we would slowly realize that by not forgiving all we end up doing is wasting our energies hating someone, constantly imbibe negative thoughts of getting even and taking revenge and perhaps waste our life in the pursuit of an imaginary pleasure got by doing harm to avenge our hurt. On the other hand if we allow ourselves to be pragmatic, down to earth and sensible, forgiveness will knock the sails out of the person who expects nothing remotely as this gesture for his / her deeds. In fact it might shock them into realizing their grievous fault and they in turn could seek pardon. In the end both the person forgiving and the person forgiven would have unburdened their heavy hearts and lightened their conscience and enjoy the rest of their lives.

Remember: “There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” Bryant H. McGill

Try this:

  1. Ask yourself if you have the tendency to be sarcastic, caustic in your comments, foul mouthed in conversation or extremely critical about others. This could cause a lot of unwitting hurt to people who are close to you but who cannot really express their hurt to you. Next time be aware of such behavior and check yourself. If by chance you realize your mistake apologize for such behavior and you will find that you will be better accepted and appreciated.
  2. Ask yourself if you still dislike and distrust some of your classmates for some of their comments or behavior that had caused you hurt then. Perhaps they have forgotten those incidents but it is you who is carrying it with you still. Can you make an attempt to meet up with these people or begin communicating with them as if nothing ever happened. You will realize that you feel much more relaxed and relieved when you let go the past hurt.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Forgive self

They may not deserve forgiveness, but I do. Anon

At first glance the quote is both confusing and perplexing. Our initial reaction is of shock and disbelief that someone can dare to point a finger at others but absolve himself/ herself of the same crime. It is only on a closer second reading and introspection that the true meaning of the quote becomes apparent and deeply insightful. Read the quote again before you read further.

In fact the crux of forgiveness is deeply embedded in the quote. One needs to forgive another not because he/ she deserves forgiveness but because you want to be forgiven and absolved of any ill feelings, anger, guilt and vengeance that you may have felt in your heart. It is quite natural and human to be aggrieved when some wrong has been perpetrated or perceived to perpetrated either on us or anyone close to us or on humanity in general. The resultant emotions of anger, shock, haplessness and revenge instantly come to the fore and  we are possessed by it for quite a while. More demonic thoughts like taking an eye for an eye can creep into our thoughts and in extreme cases we might even contemplate elimination of those who we see as not worthy of any sympathy let alone forgiveness.

It is against such a backdrop that we need to revisit the above quote. If we can control all our negative impulses and allow ourselves to be more rationale it is possible that over time our original angst and anguish will subside and we may possibly look back at the events as a bad nightmare. However it is tougher for us to completely forget the incident and the mental trauma one goes through. It is toughest for an average person to get over the fact that some extremely evil and vile thoughts had crossed our mind with revenge as central to those thoughts. It is then that we search for a way to clear our fragile conscience and realization dawns on us that forgiveness is the only pacifier available; suddenly it dawns on us that They may not deserve forgiveness, but I do.

The only way one can live life in a carefree and oblivious manner is to ensure that we carry no traces of rancor or ill will for another. Forgiving even those who do not deserve it, opens our heart to the power of love, the spirit of giving and the bliss of peace.

Remember:  “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smede

Try this:

  1. Read this article and perhaps you will realize that you empathize with the writer. You will also discover that it is easy to blame another and very tough to forgive them for their acts but it is best that we forgive for maybe we are guilty too. http://in.yfittopostblog.com/2010/07/26/remembering-kevin-carter/
  2. Make a list of people whom you find hard to forget or forgive for the pain they inflicted on you. It could be teachers from school and college days, it could be a parent or a relative, it could be a colleague or a boss or maybe it is former friend or spouse.  Ask yourself if you can attempt to forgive them now and convey it to them too if they are alive?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com