Tag: Freedom

Learn to love your own company

Learn to love your own company

Imagine being marooned alone on an island. How would you survive such a drastic change in your social life? While the above is a hypothetical situation, the reality in lock down is that each of us is perilously close to such a situation. Ironically there are people around us and yet the lock down and social distancing rules that everyone has to adhere to, has ensured that our interactions are minimal, business like and over time stilted and artificial. Perhaps, for some, those at home could be a challenge to deal with, because of our individual quirks and the unexpected amount of time forced to share time and space with each other. Perhaps being alone is a good solution but since even that is not something most of us are used to, the effort becomes difficult and irritating.

Ironically, being alone offers one the freedom to be yourself, to spend time the way you want, to explore possibilities and to reminiscence, remember and reflect. It frees our mind of routines, gives one the opportunity to think creatively, mentally explore ways to work around problems and discovering shades of yourself that existed but remained hidden.

To learn to like to be alone and to enjoy the company just of yourself you must first believe that being alone is not a punishment but a boon. A change in attitude immediately allows you to see possibilities galore ahead of you.

The second prerequisite is to allow yourself time to do nothing without feeling guilty, give your mind space to wander and to flutter like a butterfly and be relaxed even if the mind occasionally drifts towards unwanted thoughts.

The third thing is to identify your key interests, latent passions, wishful thinking to drift to the forefront of your thoughts. This will give your mind some directions to focus upon and varied dimensions of opportunities to explore.

The fourth important requirement is that one enjoys the process of the mind throwing up ideas to explore, the dialogue you engage in with your mind, the occasional silence, the sudden bursts of anxiety, often followed by a more vigorous spurt of alternative solutions to cope with the fear.

The fifth most blissful aspect of being alone is choosing what to do. You have the time, the alternatives, possibly ample resources but most of all you have choices. When alone no one can dictate the choices but you have to be decisive and choose. You can spend it reading, sleeping, thinking, meditating, playing games, worrying, doing what is urgently needed or simply doing all of the above in a random order.  It is this freedom of choice that is at the heart of learning to enjoy your own company.

Try these:           

  1. Have you ever explored a different genre of art / literature / music/ photography/ movies/ TV shows? What has stopped you from exploring it? Now is your opportunity to do so. Give it at least an hour before you decide if you like it or want to explore something else.
  2. List out your three to five most pressing problems. Allow your mind to focus on these in any random manner (which means you actively explore solutions to any or all of these problems by thinking and identifying alternative solutions) , Not thinking of the problem will not allow you to find a solution and if by thinking about you feel depressed then the reality is the problem is really serious and hence you need to find solutions.
  3. If you feel you have wasted these days of lockdown can you identify the specific activities that you felt were a waste of time e.g. sleeping more / binge watching. Now ask yourself if that was a choice you made because you felt happy with it or was it because you had no specific routine for the day or was it because your mind tempted you to? Ask yourself if it is really a waste of time or was it a choice you made when the mind gave you alternatives?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

My Day Monday

28-My dayWe would really have to search hard to find people who love Monday’s. Out of the few who do, a vast majority of them would be people who have their weekly off on a day other than a Sunday, so the equivalent for Monday for them would be the day following their weekly off. So what is that about Monday’s that gives so many of us Monday morning blues? It is not that most of us are lazy; nor is it that we do not love what we do; nor is it because we would like to do what we please without the rigors of a disciplined work life ( ask any retired person and he/she will tell you how time weighs very heavily on their hands once they retire and every day is a Sunday). So then why is that Monday’s are so dreaded? Perhaps it is because we have never visualized Monday as being something useful, something special and something to be cherished. The moment one looks at Monday as being ‘My Day’ our approach to Monday would be drastically different. Our appreciation of not just Monday but every day would be much more whole hearted and you would then learn to value and look forward to each day with greater enthusiasm.

My day provides you the following:

The freedom to utilize it – Once you visualize Monday or for that matter any day as My Day, the chores of the day are no longer burdens but a means to make an honest living by doing them cheerfully, passionately and uniquely. Yes, even everyday jobs can be fun when one viewed as a personal contribution, in a personalized style leading to a fulfilled goal. It is true that you cannot avoid what has to be done but it is equally true that you have the freedom to approach and execute the task with enthusiasm, hope and an aim to do the task well. Instead of work if you were going on a picnic on a Monday, would you yearn for Monday?

A reason to begin afresh – Not just Monday’s but everyday that is My Day enables me to begin afresh. The mistakes of the past, the pain and difficulties are left behind. Start afresh, see each day as having something new and fresh to offer. Perhaps it is the beginning of a new relationship, a new job responsibility, the beginning of good times to come. Notice how athletes who do not win still compete with equal vigor in the succeeding meet. They know that each day gives them a chance to begin afresh and hopefully attain their goal. Now are you going to make use of the opportunity each day gives, to begin afresh?

A chance to do good – When each day is seen as My Day each one gets the chance to bring out the best in him/ her. The best is not just in going about doing one’s duty. The chance to do good is displayed in our approach, the small actions, the feelings we express and the attitude we bring along. Nothing beats a smile to get everyone enthusiastic. Encouragement and appreciation for others do not lag behind a smile in injecting a healthy dose of goodness around us. Listening is an essential goodness that is acute short supply and every day that is My Day gives me the chance to pay attention to others who may just be seeking to vent their feelings. Of course kindness and monetary support are two extremes of goodness that are much valued too. So what good do you plan to do today?

The opportunity to prove your worth – Have you ever noticed that the person who is most missed is the one who does the most menial of jobs; the janitor, the porter, the clerk in the office, the chauffer. Is it ironic that the Chairman and the Board of Director are never really missed though apparently they are the ones who are the highest paid and wield the most power. True they perform a function that is of a high intellectual caliber but that in no way diminishes the contribution of the menial staff. So no matter what work you do, you are performing a very important task. Each new day that is seen as My Day gives each of us the opportunity to prove our worth not by being absent but by being proactive, enthusiastic and cheerful whenever present. So can you now dress smart, move energetically, carry a big smile and fee energized this Monday and every other day that you see as MY Day?

Ample moments to live, laugh and love – A day of twenty four hours is a pretty long time if you are prisoner but is rather too little when in love. When you get Monday morning blues you are a prisoner of your thinking. The moment you visualize Monday and every other day as My Day you fall in love with each day and time flies. There is an air of expectancy, there is unbridled enthusiasm, there is skip in your step, there is laughter all around and you fall in love with your work when Monday and every other day becomes My Day. So are you ready to embrace Monday and every other day as My Day? Go forth an make the most of this Monday and every other day that henceforth you will call My Day?

Try these:

  • Do you know what a Mayday signal is? Find out about it. Ensure you do not confuse My Day with Mayday.
  • Do you have a routine for each day? How do you ensure that you make the best use of each day?
  • List out 5 good things about Monday. How can you make a Monday be more fun than a Friday evening?
  • How would you cope with sudden unexpected problems that crop up and yet remain positive and enthusiastic? e.g. Just as I was about to post this blog my computer crashed.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Expereince Freedom

13- 6 June 15 FreedomBy and large each individual would like to be unfettered from the expectations of others, have the courage to live their dream and be insulated from the barbs, the criticism, the finger pointing and the ‘I told you so ‘reactions of those around us. We long to be free from the clutches of the pressures of ‘conformity’ that society at large subtly exerts on us. While social norms and personal values remain the guideposts of our life, anything outside this ambit would be seen as a curtailment of our freedom. The reality is that far too often we do not have the daring to challenge these restrictions because we are not self confident, we would like to avoid disagreements and most of all because we tend to take all of forms of feedback personally.

Yes you can enjoy personal freedom when you can bring about a balance between retaining your personal norms and self imposed norms in order to get approval of others. The latter is extremely difficult because as human beings we resent any criticism or negative feedback. Unfortunately we live in a world filled with individuals who are quick to spot and comment on anything that does not confirm to their personal standards. So your hairstyle, dress sense, gestures, choice of words, career choices, friends circle etc. are all constantly under the scanner and since we cannot please everyone we tend to try and please the majority. No sooner we do this we feel losing our dignity, independence and freedom to be what we really are.

To enjoy your freedom and explore all dimensions of your life review the following

Do you always seek approval of others? This can manifest in many ways; be it constantly expecting others to notice your new wardrobe / hairstyle etc. or always seeking permission to do anything off beat or different. You would always be constrained from enjoying and doing what you love because the approval of others is vital for you to feel the joy of being yourself.

Do you succumb to the temptation of being critical? This is reflected in the frequency with which you play spoilt sport or being sarcastic or prone to giving backhanded compliments to others. With such a mindset you would often alienate people and in turn be prone to be constantly at the receiving end of similar jibes from others. Your mind is then either preoccupied with being critical or the fear of being criticized. How can you then experience freedom of mind and body?

Do you hold back, anticipating disapproval? You are fascinated by a new dress/ gadget / holiday plan etc. but stop short of indulging because you are worried about disapproval from others. You are shackled by the chains of approval syndrome.

Are you wary of trying new and different experiences? You want to attend a new play or musical but it is a genre that you have never heard about or know anything about and so you drop the idea. Maybe you want to visit a new restaurant serving oriental food / Greek cuisine / African fare but you immediately get imaginary thoughts about the contents / taste/ presentation /ingredients being so alien to your senses and hence do not go ahead with your initial plans. Your mind is not free of wild imagination running riot.

Do you tend to brood a lot over any criticism or negative feedback? So if someone in authority criticizes your work or a close friend passes a negative comment or if you overhear something negative said and assume it is about you and you are preoccupied rationalizing the comment or justifying to yourself how wrong the others are, you would have already sacrificed your freedom on the altar of perfection.

Do failures or the thought of failure overwhelm you? The real shackles that most people find themselves bound by, is the fear of failure. Once a person fears failure then inevitably they lose the capacity to be independent, experimental, adventurous and original.

Freedom is never about being right it is about being able to march to the tune in your head, the beat that only you hear and walking towards a goal that only you and you alone can see. Don’t ever take things personally be it your own fears, others criticisms or disapproval’s, your doubts or your failures.

Try these:

  1. Make an inventory of the numerous odds and ends lying in your house that you would like to get rid off. Now try to sell these ( garage sale / advertise it / sell it online etc.) and donate the proceeds to charity.
  2.  Jot down the following
  • Name of an individual ( who you interact with regularly) who you loathe.
  • Your worst nightmare / fear.
  • Your one regret in life as on date.

Now for each of the above write down 3 – 5 positive things that you can think of.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com