Tag: Friends

Create your own rainbow

24- 8 Jul 17- Create your own rainbowWith the monsoons already arriving, most days seem like Monday’s; dull, gloomy and too tempting to laze around in bed. Yet, it is time to get up and get going and the process is just a tad too boring and uninspiring. Just as the wonders of the rainbow appear in the monsoon, await the rainbow each day and there would perhaps also be a pot of gold at the end of it to lure you to energetically look forward to each day.

Look for things that brighten the day – it could be the chirping of the birds, the sunlight that is streaming in, the laughter of children playing, the pealing of the temple and/or church bells. The key is to look for things that make you happy, contented and peaceful. It is a proactive responsibility that you must take on in order to change your own world.

See the variety of positives that you are blessed with – Make a conscious effort to over look  the hurt, the pain, the sadness of the past and instead focus on the blessings you have been bestowed. Good health tops the list, financial security, a loving world of family and friends, the comfort of a blessed home perhaps and a secure job too maybe.

Smile, forgive, listen, appreciate, thank – This is such an easy formula to memorize; a tough one to put in practice but the easiest to embrace once you have consciously adopted it. Each of it helps you exhale the toxic within and inhale the pure clean emotions.

Embrace love, laughter, hope and faith – Just as a good diet and exercise is a choice you make, add a heap full of love, a ton of laughter, perennial hope and unwavering faith to your daily mantra. You will find yourself empowered, optimistic and energetic to make your presence felt in the world and to make a positive difference around you.

Spend time with family, nature, self – Since we are social animals, we need to connect with other,  the world around and with ourselves. Spend time with family and friends. Spread good cheer and goodwill amongst them. They would seek to spend more time with you. Nature helps us embrace the spectrum of life; the flora and fauna, the sheer variety of wildlife and the beauty of the hills and valleys, the rivers and the seas, the changing seasons. Spend time thinking, reflecting and connecting to inner self. Never forget you are world yourself; filled with emotions, thoughts, feelings and passion.

Find silence despite the noise, find order despite the chaos and discover peace within despite the turbulence around –  Life is full of noise, chaos and turbulence. In our journey through life, we must be able to filter out and choose everything that would make our journey more pleasant, comfortable and enjoyable. Learn to enjoy silence; then you will master the art of finding it despite the noise around. Like getting through a maze, look hard at the chaos around; anger, frustration, hurt are some  feelings that you need to get past before you get out of the maze and reach peace, tranquility and bliss.

Look back with fondness, look forward with hope and be awake in the present Every day there must be something pleasant to reminiscence about, a goal set to give meaning and purpose to each day and one must make each moment count by being mentally and physically alert and active.

Notice how you have created a beautiful rainbow for yourself. The success, satisfaction, happiness, contentment and the peace that you get is the pot full of gold at the end of your rainbow.

Try these

  • List out 3- 5 colors that you like.  Look around you and for each color you chose, write down at least 2 objects having that color. Did you notice the color of those objects earlier. Do you notice the rainbow of colors around you?
  • Sit with your eyes closed for 5 minutes. Identify the various noises around you. Also imagine the aroma of your favorite food. Can you feel the rainbow of myriad sounds and aroma that you normally take for granted.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog


When the going gets tough…

There are times when the spirit is low, the pathway seems steep and the goal looks very distant. Disappointment is evident, frustration is natural and giving up seems the best and easiest way out of the predicament. It is at these times that we consciously or unconsciously attempt to reach out for help, support and encouragement and the two mains stays of our life friends and a song to hum anchor us firmly to the bedrock of hope, positivity and inspiration.

Notice carefully that friends and that includes family, neighbors and colleagues are the external anchor that we can physically lean on. The importance of being social is never more clearly articulated when we face a crisis and seek support from those around. When the human race is unique qualified as a being ‘social animals’ it was well established that human beings need each other at all times and its efficacy and importance is best established when one experiences it when one needs it most; a death in the family is an extreme case and contrasting that are the joyous occasions like a wedding or a birth. In day to day life though we experience this social dimension practically every moment be it at the work place or at home. The times when we are

A song on the other hand is an internal anchor, developed through our upbringing, our attitude and our fortitude.  Most of us are bathroom singers, who open up and express our joy through our tuneless, carefree and occasionally senseless rhythmic meanderings secure in the knowledge that we are all by ourselves. That gives us a good clue as to how important a role a song plays in translating our emotions into an expression of hope, delight and fun. There are times when a song lifts us up when downcast and forlorn and other times we would rather merge our emotions with the pathos and subtlety of the poetry. The latter though does not last long and when we have indulged in reliving our sorrows through a mournful song, we realize the futility of regret and find a more meaningful peppy song to uplift and inspire us.

When amongst good friends, have you noticed the cares of the world seem to disappear, life seems like a breeze and while tomorrow may not change very drastically, it becomes a lot easier to embrace tomorrow?  Similarly when a lilting tune pops out of nowhere and we merrily hum it, especially when confronted with a problem, an issue or a challenge, the load becomes lighter, the burden more bearable and there is a ray of hope that seems perennial. Do you anything more to live life to the fullest?

Try this:

  1. Make a list of 5 of your good friends and outline the one quality of theirs that endears him/ her to you.
  2. Can you recollect the names of books or movies in which friends have been shown to bond despite all odds and differences? E.g. Remember the Famous 5 and Secret seven series of Enid Blyton
  3. Click on this link to hear the Theme song of the war movie The Bridge on the Rive Kwai http://tinyurl.com/yff5zlh
  4. Can you list out 3 songs that will always uplift you no matter what your mood?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog


The company you keep

A man is known by the company he keeps. Anon

Just look around and see how we pass judgment on people around without ever knowing them. In most cases we base it on their mere appearance and personality and unconsciously we also give a lot of credence to the type of people with whom they are seen moving around and interacting extensively.  In effect, our perceptions about people are largely dependent on physical appearance and physical company that one keeps. While it is quite possible that we may be wrong in our initial assessment and discover that the individual is made up of much more than just the outward appearance our initial assessment ahs a large bearing on how we interact with the person later on.

In the 70’s for example, anyone with long hair and flowery clothes was broadly described as a hippy and anyone who associated with these people was perceived to be cool by their peers but viewed with disdain by the society at large. Today the same people following similar trends are either cool or geeks and seen as a breed apart who merely march to a different drummer. Funnily enough most people would think that geeks and cool techno savvy people are brilliant but at the same time they wouldn’t really want their own children or siblings to be influenced by these geeks. They would rather that have their kids and siblings follow the straight and narrow path that is the family tradition or the societal norm. It is human nature to rebel against norms and confines and it is also human nature to view rebels as social pariah’s who are forever stretching the boundaries of convention and customs. Obviously anyone who is seen as associating with such a crowd is inviting trouble and the wrath of the majority who view them with disdain.

In most formal settings there is a social hierarchy and pecking order that is determined by the social status of the people around. There are no fixed norms or clear cut boundaries but by and large the social order is based on financial muscle, perceived social standing and power play. There are of course some incongruent elements who are thick skinned and shameless enough to ignore the social rules and by stealth or cunning attempt to be seen in the company of those on the highest pecking order. The hangers on around politicians or the entourage that accompany film stars and high flying business men are ample evidence of the crazy to be seen in the right company. They thrive on portraying themselves as close to the seat of power for the general perception is that those seen with the high and mighty are influential, powerful and useful.

There are two outstanding examples of how each of us is deeply influenced and is easily influenced by the need to be seen with the right company. The craze of people to be seen with celebrities who will never ever know them or recognize them again is not just a fad but an expression of our urge to be seen with the extraordinary. Sportsmen, actors and writers are among the most sought after celebrities. The second example pertains to the new age social networking trend where a look at our friends list reveals a lot about ourselves and the company we prefer. Our preferences for certain blogs of celebrities and following the posts of celebrities/ high flying  individuals on twitter etc. are also pointers to our need to cozy up to power, status and social visibility.

Remember: Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain

Try this:

  1. List out 3 individuals who are still alive who you would like to meet in person if the opportunity arises. Now note down the reasons you want to meet these people and the line of interaction you would ideally have with them.
  2. Make a list of the types of people you will never associate with. Now make a list of people who you would love to associate with. Now check and jot down at least 3 things you love about your current friends and at least one irritant in them.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

How do we make friends?

The most popular persons are those who take the world as it is, who find the least fault. Charles Dudley Warner

There is no doubt that given a choice, there are number of people who we would like to keep a distance from. It is equally true that there would also be a set of people with who we would happily spend hours together and perhaps some of them will remain lifelong friends too. The one distinct difference between the first set of people who we abhor and those with whom we share a great equation with, is often their attitude they display. The former are often grumpy, grouchy and forever complaining whereas the latter are very calm, cool and collected and take life as it comes. Naturally we prefer to interact and communicate with all those who are smiling, cheerful and fun to be with, rather than the whiners and the fault finders.

While it is easy to outline our preferences of people whom we like and dislike, we need to also examine our own personal attitude and behavior.  It would also help us if we can objectively analyze what are standing amongst our friends is and how many friends we have. Do we walk with the air of a man happy with the gifts that life has showered on us or do we constantly berate our fate and curse our luck? How do we react to the minor hiccups that punctuate every human beings life; do we get into a frenzy, do we shirk our responsibilities, do we sulk or do we take it in our stride and move on with the rest of our activities without missing a beat? It is essential that we also be capable of emphasizing with those who are less fortunate than us and not cower before those who are powerful and dominant. Our attitude will determine how we react and this in turn will influence how people see us. A smile, good cheer and positive energy will help us attract a large friend circle.

As we go through life, everyday brings us opportunities to widen our friends circle and expand our networking. This is possible simply because we have to regularly interact with others and communicate continuously. However not all contacts become our friends because we filter them out through our lenses of personal preference, comfort level and positive vibes.  Similarly others too would be filtering from their perspective and so it is possible that we do not connect with some people, more so because they do not allow us to come closer. If we look around we would also notice that some people seem to easily connect with people, seem to have a very wide friend circle and above all seem to be happy no matter what the situation. A closer examination of the style of these popular people would reveal to us the reality that each one of them makes an effort to go and meet people,  they ensure that they never spread any negative vibes, almost all of them are humours and best of all they all are happy themselves.

Remember: “Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” John N. Mitchell

Try this:

  1. Make a list of friends both personal and professional. Find a common thread that binds all these friends. If there is no single thread attempt to find out some commonality in groups of friends. Examine if some of those threads from part of your personality too.
  2. What are the three aspects of your personality that your closest friends make fun off or show their displeasure at. Objectively analyze these traits and honestly ask yourself if you need to change those traits. If you do not have too many friends ask yourself if that is because you are too exacting in your expectations from others or if it is because you do no0t convey the appropriate vibes to others.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

The friends paradox

It is easier to visit friends than to live with them. Chinese proverb

To really understand the significance of the above quote, ask a married couple one year after their marriage about their highs and lows and new discoveries about one another. Both will have very nice things to say about the other, but slowly a litany of complaints will also rear its ugly head and both parties will be rudely shocked to discover that they have their strong limitations. Something similar is in store when we really get too close to our friends. While they must be the best of people and may even lay down their life for you, on a more human level they could have their own quirks and eccentricities that will drive you nuts. So getting to know them from close quarters will be both a revelation and a shock.

When visiting friends the reality is that irrespective of how long we are with them we have the option of leaving. This itself is a big psychological boost and so we are prepared to put up with some strange behavior, some wild suggestions, some intemperate language and the like. No doubt one will be in a fix when confronted with this rather odd scenario but the fact that we can always quietly disengage and head home is a very comforting thought which allows us the luxury of putting up with more than what we can normally tolerate. E.g. There could be someone who is crazy about his pet dog but you are terrified of dogs. When you visit the friend, if he is inconsiderate and lets his dog roam around sniffing you would be definitely upset and scared. If the friend makes light of the situation and goes overboard and chides you for being scared you will definitely consider the option of make a quick gateway.

If we have to live with friends then we are exposed to a whole different world. The friends may have different value systems, varied styles of living, strange tastes in colors food habits and personal hygiene. The challenge then is to adjust be it in being accommodating to others or in gently getting the others to adjust or in both parties making compromises. This is rather difficult to do partly because under normal circumstances we have a wonderful equation with our friends but when one has to live with a friend the stakes are much higher. Imagine living with a friend who loves to listen to heavy metal the moment he gets up and strews his clothes all over the place. How much more difficult it will be for a vegetarian to live with someone who is a compulsive non vegetarian who has no consideration for your sentiments.

In the clash of differences it is the friendship that is affected. This is both a tough price to pay and perhaps a major challenge to relationships. Perhaps this also explains why sometimes roommates become life long buddies because they have managed to resolve their differences and respect each other whereas others have to simply bear up. In the buffet of life we partake in, we are better off in a relationship symbolic as that of a plate and food served in it rather than as incompatible ingredients that spoil the food.

Remember: “Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” Tennessee Williams

Try this:

  1. Make a list of your close friends .  For each list out at least 3 irritating things / behavior/ mannerisms/ problems that you simply detest.  Choose which of the friend’s house you will willingly spend a fortnight with along with the friend’s family.
  2. Would you be comfortable staying with the following friends:
  • A friend who suffers from cancer is under chemo treatment
  • A friend who admits he is gay
  • A friend who has just one room and he snores exceptionally loudly
  • A friend who is a compulsive smoker and a hard drinker and you neither drink nor smoke.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Ideal life…

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. Mark Twain

For ordinary mortals who flirt with every conceivable sin be it sloth, gluttony, lust and the like, Mark Twain’s observation will come as a breath of fresh air. Partly in jest but full of wisdom, Twain’s outline of an ideal life can easily be identifiable by every human being for it has distilled in a few succinct words the reality that we would long for.

Paramount is the importance of having good friends. This reflects the social side of the human race for none can live all alone. We need to interact, communicate and lean on another’s shoulder if our life is to be more full, rich and rewarding. We as human beings have an urge and need to share our joys and sorrows, express our feelings and aspirations and in turn get support or suggestions, praise or reprimand but most of all empathy from our friends and well wishers. A good friend is like a compass, who will always faithfully point you in the right direction even if you disagree, disapprove or disparage the help and hints given.

Nothing gives one as much pleasure as a good book. It allows one to spend hours together all alone and yet never feeling lonely.  Irrespective of our moods or the weather a good book educates, entertains and engages us thus sparing us the bother of seeking the company of others. Books open the window of the mind and gives our imagination wings to soar on. It expands our horizons because it is a fountainhead of knowledge and entertainment. A good book is of course a matter of personal preference yet books universally provides mankind the mental stimulation and triggers the creative potential which is the basis of all human progress.

It is mans inherent propensity to gravity towards the forbidden that needs to be reined in despite the books and the friends. A sleepy conscience is the perfect antidote for this problem. Whilst we may not entirely agree with all that our conscience triggers  we can selectively interpret, choose and act on what appeals to us. Else we would be nervous wrecks who would be constantly provoked and harassed by guilt for the human mind does know to distinguish between good and bad but prefers to exercise the more convenient option. That is what makes us human.  E.g. We are aware the overeating and lack of exercise will makes us overweight and prone to illness but a sleepy conscience ensures that we still have a good night’s sleep and retain the good sense to realize the perils. That we still give in to our indulgences and conveniently ignore the perils is thanks to the gift of a sleepy conscience.

Ultimately each one has to live his/ her life on their own terms and good books, good friends and a sleepy conscience will ensure that we lead the most ideal life active, happy and guilt free.

Remember: “Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” John N. Mitchel

Try this:

  1. Name the 3 books that you would love to read again and again. Expand your list. You are also encouraged to post your list of favorite books in the comments to this post so that others too can benefit by your comments.
  2. Do a net search on the 7 deadly sins and identify the two sins that you are most guilty of falling in. How will you attempt to overcome those sins?
  3. Reflect on your past and pin point the times when your conscience pricked you the most. Eg. The first time you gave in to peer pressure and smoked a cigarette.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Value Friendships

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. Saint Thomas Aquinas

Friendship is one of those gifts that all are blessed with but few cherish it for its true worth. Most times we take our friends for granted and often even mistake good relationships for close friendship. True friends are our guardian angels who are always there by your side irrespective of what you do or however inconsiderate you are. They provide companionship in a silent way, act as our conscience keeper and are pillars of strength when we need their support no matter what the situation. In real life we make have many many colleagues/ classmates/ neighbors and acquaintances with who we share a good rapport and a great chemistry. However we cannot cross our hearts and say they are our best friends simply because you might not be ready to trust your life with them.

Often good friendships are developed in our growing years from childhood to our teens and occasionally during our college days and working years. Age is really not a major issue when forging friendships but more often than not, most friends are of near similar ages and backgrounds. There are no rules for friendships but there is just one test; the test of being there for the friend at all times, particularly the most difficult and testing times. The buddy system which is widely prevalent in jobs that have high risk of life and limb like policing, the armed forces, the fire fighters, detectives etc. are a shining example of how friendships are formed. Each one trusts the other with his/ her life and that is the secret to how real friends can actually feel and read each other’s heart and mind.

Friendships are often put to the test. More often than not we pass it and that is why the friendship endures. There are times though that a real friend has to sacrifice, albeit temporarily the friendship so that the other person may value the friendship more. If this sounds ironic take the case of a friend who has a serious drinking problem.  Despite many an entreat to go to rehab, if the advice is not heeded, a real friend might resort to shock therapy in the form of cutting of ties so that better sense prevails. Apologies if required must be quickly given in case of misunderstandings and mistrust even in the remotest form must be avoided at all costs. Many a friendship has withered because of mistrust and or ego where one of the parties refuses to acknowledge or apologize when in the wrong.

The old proverb ‘ a friends in need is a friend indeed’ holds true even today. There are times though when we are confused about standing by our friends when they have done some terrible wrong. Those are the times when it is imperative that we listen to what Mark Twain says about friendship and I quote “ A friend  is one who stands by you when you are in the wrong; almost anyone else will stand by you when you are on the right”.

Remember: “A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

Try these:

  1. Make a list of 5-8 good friends and write the one quality that you value in each one of them. E.g. In one friend you might admire his candid and frank outbursts when he disapproves of something for he doens not hide or hold back anything. In another friend you may admire her ability to empathize with you even when you are completely in the wrong.
  2. Plan to surprise your friend with a secretly planned birthday bash. Ensure that the event is a surprise and it must be tastefully done must reflect the warmth of your affection for him/ her.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com