Tag: Future

The 3 C’s of life

22-3 C's of lifeThere are lot of youngsters ( and I suspect plenty of adults too) who are desperately trying to improve their future but find themselves aimlessly drifting and getting frustrated with every passing day. Almost all of them are intelligent, have a fair degree of clarity of thought and posses the energy and drive to succeed; yet they seem to be confused, helpless and defeated as if trapped in cage. The reality is that they build a cage around themselves by merely focusing on what has not gone right, blaming people and circumstances for their plight, blinding themselves from seeing difficult but possible options and wallowing in self pity. The real wonder of life is the new opportunities that each passing day brings, provided we seek it. The options won’t suddenly pop up but would tantalizing hover around, waiting to bestow the opportunity to those who are keenly looking out for it.

Success is actually a matter of knowing the 3 C’s (like the three R’s you learned in school) and putting that learning into practice. In fact you can put this into practice even as you read this post.

Choices abound- seek it, evaluate it, act on it.  First of all identify what you want. This means you must have some objective, an aim, a definite purpose. In short you must have a goal. Most unhappy and frustrated people remain that way because they have no clue about what they want. Using generic adjectives like happiness, rich, successful, well known, popular etc are not objectives or goals but merely pointers to what your inner urges are. Those urges can be met only when you pursue a tangible goal, upon attaining which, you will fulfill your urge of being rich or famous or popular. People are often seeking a ‘good’ job but cannot describe the attributes of the job that will make it a good job for them. As a result they cannot see the various ‘good’ jobs that exist but pick something that seems good. Take time to think out so that there is clarity in your mind. Ideally list out your thoughts so that your mind is not cluttered and more importantly you have something tangible to mull over. The list will give you both clarity and trigger your mind into seeing alternatives and choices that exist. This will enable you to explore and select the path to attaining your goal.

Chances are you will succeed- work for it, persist, don’t fear failure. Nothing ventured nothing gained is an old maxim. They also say that unless a turtle sticks it’s neck out, it cannot make progress. The message is clear; you have to dare, be bold, move out of your comfort zone and explore beyond, move into unknown territory, experiment, be different, break free. If you know what you want, the way to attain would also be clear. You may never have traversed that path but now you must. There are risks involved, there could be setbacks, you may have to trudge along alone and it could be a tiring, weary journey. Yet, the best part is you are moving, inching closer to what you want, your leaving the past trusting your abilities. At times you would hit a roadblock, you could be discouraged, you may even encounter failure. Persistence is the mantra that will embolden you, rejuvenate you and help you attain your goal.

Changes will happen – make it happen, don’t fight it, be the change. As you make your choice and take a chance you will face numerous changes that you have to cope with. Changes would impact your daily life, your emotional life, your psychological temperament, your relationships, your financial well being and even your status in society. You need to cope with the changes. Don’t let the negative changes dishearten you nor let the positive changes make you heady and arrogant. If there are times when you all your efforts don’t bring about the change you seek, you will have to double your efforts, redirect your efforts, get help from others to enhance your efforts till you force the change or become the change itself. Progress has always been made by people who dreamt of a change and got others to believe in their point of view and together forced the change. By the way, your life too will change dramatically !

So have you written down your goals? At least write down all the things you want to do to make your life better. Dream up more and add to the list of achievements you want to attain. Outline the immediate action you need to take for the most important items on your list. Start working on those action points now. It will help, if you also put a deadline by which you hope to attain each item on your goal list. Don’t make excuses for not preparing the list. Start..

Try these:

  1. Read the last para above and prepare the list and the action to be taken by you.
  2.  List out the following ( at least three )
  • Ways to increase your savings
  • Changes to yourself to become an even more engaging personality
  • Bad habits you will try to eliminate
  • Ways you will improve your relationship with family/ colleagues / business associates
  • Expand your productive working hours
  • Contribute your mite to social/ philanthropic activities.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

You can get what you want

7- Get what you want

Many of us are disheartened and disappointed in life because we believe that others are more blessed than us. We also view this as being unfair to us because in our view we are equally eligible for the largesse of life. The real issue however is the fact that we cannot pinpoint what we want. Most times what we want is what we suddenly envy in others who posses it. It is therefore essential that we clearly visualize, identify and decide what exactly we want for ourselves. This brings clarity to us, enables us to evaluate how we can attain it and most important ask and seek it. Yes getting what you want all begins with asking for what you want and this in turn means you begin by knowing what one want.

Ask – When we want something we need to ask for it if we are unable to get it on our own. The prerequisite for this step is to ensure we know what we want. It could be a material thing, it could be job or reference that you seek or it could even be exploring a relationship. Unless you ask others would either not be able to understand your want or they may not even notice your want or they would be so unsure about your requirements that they would prefer to be cautious and not even offer you anything. We do not ask for what we want because our ego won’t permit us to ask, we fear rejection of our request, we are embarrassed to ask or we are wary of the obligation that may come from those acceding to our request. Asking also has another dimension. Once we know what we want, it motivates us to ask ourselves for the required effort, commitment and perseverance to obtain what we seek.

Believe – If we ask we must believe that we are going to get what we sought. This is because we ask only when we are sure we know what we want and we are confident that by asking we can get it. Another reason to believe is the reality that we are then prepared to make best use of whatever we receive. A third reason to believe is the fact that if we are sure we will receive it we would be both cautious and reasonable in what we ask. At the same time don’t forget, that barring miracles and some lucky times, it would be silly to believe you would get anything that you don’t deserve. E.g. You don’t study and you pray for good marks or you have been rude and insolent to your parents and you ask them for something special and expensive for your birthday.

Receive If you ask with confidence and believe with full faith you must be ready to receive with arms open wide. You will receive in packages that defy logic, in a form that could surprise you and at times you least expect. Once you are prepared to receive all that you ask for and believe in keep looking for the arrival of the gift. Perhaps you are desperate for a job and you meet an influential person. That could be the beginning of you getting a job offer. At times when you are sure you deserve to get something and at the last moment it eludes you disappointment and frustration is logical. If you pause and reflect it maybe a hint of you having to expect more, work harder and receive a bigger reward. At times therefore, not receiving despite your conviction that you merit it, could suggest that you are to ask, believe and be prepared to receive something even more valuable and deserving.

Try this:

  1.  Can you recollect opportunities / prizes / awards that eluded you? On hindsight can you reflect on how that miss actually benefited you?
  2.  Attempt to do the following
  • Toss a coin 15 times and try to guess which way the coin will land face up.
  • Go to a basketball court and take 15 shots to score a 3 pointer basket.
  • Every morning list out at least 3 things that you will achieve before you retire to bed at night.
  • In the coming week listen carefully to people asking for something ( may be something tangible or seeking help ). Surprise at least one person by offering tangible help. Attempt to do this every week preferably for a stranger.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

 

Evolving through a cocoon of positivity

5 - Positive evolutionEvery event, be it of the past, the current or the imagined future, influences our thinking, attitude, behavior and responses. Those events from the past that have scarred us, those that we do not like in the present and those that we fear in the future keep impacting us negatively. These tend to largely overshadow the blessings of the past, the wonders of the present and the opportunities of the future. It is therefore essential that we learn to reorient our thinking, start seeing the past present and future through a filter of positivity if we are to make our life more fun, more meaningful and more productive.

Be grateful for the past – If one were to dispassionately evaluate the past, for most of us it would become obvious that barring a few stray awkward, embarrassing, challenging and painful incidents life had been fun filled, happy and enjoyable. Yet we tend to largely focus on what has not gone right overlooking the more significant, satisfactory and fulfilling parts of our journey thus far. Of course the failures, the hurt and the pain of the past cannot be brushed aside but focus on the lessons learned from it. Focus on the transformation that took place because of it and made you a better person. If you still carry the baggage of the hurt of the past, it is a good time to offload it today. Relook the past with an eye to refresh, recollect and reflect on the blessings of the past; the wonderful childhood you have had, the loving care of the family around, the friends and relationships you have built up over the years, the success your were cheered for, the memories that you can forever cherish. If one uses that as the fulcrum of the past life, the present would also be seen in the same perspective provided one makes that effort.

Be engaged in the present – One common aberration in our daily living is the habit of lapsing into the ‘Good old days’ syndrome. The opposite extreme is to find fault with everything that does not happen the way we want it or the way we expect it to be. The present is where we are living and if we can see it as a wonderful place and time to be in, one can experience the joys that abound everywhere and all around us. Mechanization for instance has made our life a lot easier but do we value it? Communication technology has ensured we can be in touch instantaneously and with numerous people; yet do you feel lonely? Transportation revolution has made movement faster, cheaper and more pleasurable but do we keep cribbing about the costs, the lines at the airports, the railways stations and the bus stops? Disposables have become the order of the day saving time and effort yet we see the mountain of trash to which we also contribute conveniently overlooking our own part in it. The present has to be embraced with pragmatism. You may not be able to change what is happening around but one can surely appreciate the good, influence the ills by being sensitive and caring ( use less disposables / be more orderly in queues / cut down on indiscriminate usage of mobiles and internet etc.) but most importantly be involved in the moment. Don’t let the present fly past without it having improved you as an individual.

Be enchanted by the future – The future is a haze and that is precisely why we are wary of it. Strictly speaking if we can appreciate the wonders of our past, see the positive side of the present we must able to look forward to exciting times in the future. However, the future holds an undeniable reality; death. This unfortunately is a scary thought for the overwhelming majority and while we may never consciously reflect on it, subconsciously we are always hoping to prolong life be it our own or those of our loved ones. What adds confusion and apprehension when thinking of the future is the fear that the future may not be as serene as the past and the present. We worry about paying bills, hospitalization, relationships, old age, loss of income, loneliness and ofcourse death. These are all realities but a fair bit of timely planning and mental preparation to cope with these realities would ease our concerns and surely help one prepare to embrace the future. The first step to such preparation is not mentally running away from our fears. How many of those reading this post have prepared a will? How many of us have got our retirement plans chalked out? How many have saved for a rainy day? These can be done only if one is prepared to be realistic and give the future a more concrete shape rather than blindly walking into a hazy sunset. The sunset is surely the beginning of the night but when on an outing don’t we eagerly wait to see the glorious sunset and ensure we are the right place at the right time to enjoy it. See the future as a wonderful sunset and do what needs to be done to enjoy it!

Try this:

  1. Jot down 3 to 5 most wonderful memories from the past. Visualize the situation and the persons involved and revel in the blessings they were for you.
  2. What are the 3 significant contributions that you can make to ensure that the world around you is a better place? So have you started on it ?
  3. Make a list of the following
  • How much money do you think will suffice to ensure you have a comfortable retired life assuming you live till 90
  • What are the 3 things you will do to ensure that you are productively and happily engaged after retirement?
  • What are the 5 most important things you will want to incorporate in your will?
  • Make a list of surprise gifts that you will send this year to at least 3 of the above listed friends.
  • List 10 friends who you can count on to give you support and courage should you be in any trouble in the future.
  • Write down an epitaph for yourself that would best describe you / your life.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The past is a good reference

36-The past has its uses

As we come to the last week of the year, we normally tend to lapse into some nostalgia. While we do dwell on the good times of the past year, we also tend to linger longer on the ills that plagued us, the potential we could not fulfill, we rue the opportunities missed and often why fate was a wee bit cruel in general. The year end is a good time to reflect and dwell and commit to our learning the lessons of the past, but it is also the best time to wipe the slate clean and begin afresh.

So as we step into a New Year, it would help us look back to review the year gone by and make use of the learning from it as under:

Learn from our failures – Our immediate thoughts are often about the regrets we have for either having failed to accomplish what we set out to do or because we never got around to starting what we hoped we would or because we just did not visualize / size the opportunities around us. The good thing about failure is that we it grounds us to reality and reminds us of our mortality. The best thing about failure is that it allows us to steer clear of the mistakes we made and work out a better way to attain our goal.

Improve up on our successes – We do always cherish the sweet successes we tasted. Occasionally we tend to gloat over it and other times we feel smug that we managed what others couldn’t. Our successes should actually spur us to take on newer and bigger challenges, enthuse us to find better ways of attaining success in our predetermined tasks. Ideally we must focus on improving the yield, reducing the time, simplifying the task, automating where possible etc.

Update possibilities – Both success and failures offer us opportunities to discover new possibilities. It could be a technique, an improvement on the existing, leveraging the resources available to the full, discovering alternatives etc. Visualizing, being creative, being enterprising and risk taking are all means to the same end of creating possibilities.

Clean the slate and start anew – Whatever be your evaluation of the year gone by we can neither rest on our laurels nor can we wallow in our failures. The New Year is point in time when we can wipe our slate clean and begin anew. It is a good time to clear the cobwebs in our mind, reinforce positive thoughts for the coming year, get enthused to embark on a new venture or reinforce an existing one and translate thought into action.

Try these:

  1. Make a list of 5 pressing items / tasks that you are determined to complete in 2016 no matter what the impediments are.
  2. Make another list of 3 things that you will do to
  • Make sick and the lonely feel cheerful
  • Get involved in your favorite social service project
  • Increase your savings by 10 %
  • For protecting the environment or for animal welfare
  • Improve your health and fitness

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

                                                 www.poweract.blogpsot.com 

Uncertainty has one certainty

19- 23 July 15-Uncertainty has one certainty - possibiltiesLike change, that is a constant in our life, uncertainty is niggle that will never go. Each moment of our life, we are constantly processing fresh inputs and each input brings with it fresh perspectives for us to mull on. The human mind is largely programmed to preserve, protect and pre-empt threats and dangers and hence, every input we get is filtered through the lens of self preservation. As a result, uncertainty brings with it a sense of dread, fear and worries, which threaten to overshadow the one certainty that it offers – infinite possibilities. Once we accept that uncertainty will be a lifelong companion, then it is possible for us to see it as a shadow, that seems to lurk but is never threatening. That is when we learn to face the sun, put the shadow behind us and see the overpowering light of possibilities ahead of us.

Here are some ways of visualizing possibilities that can be leveraged to make life more interesting, happy and fulfilling.

Think positive – Since self preservation is a natural instinct in us, we have developed our senses to anticipate trouble as being equal to uncertainty ahead. As a result we always scan the future for trouble, difficulties, negativities and danger. While it is essential that we plan for any future eventualities, that should not be the fulcrum around which our life should revolve. Look ahead with anticipation, move ahead with confidence; don’t let a few hurdles stop you from proceeding ahead. The trick is to set your goals high and to visualize yourself setting out on an adventure towards that goal with zeal, enthusiasm and faith. Remember ‘ A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what it is built for’.

Seek opportunities – Most people balk at the thought of having to cross imaginary chasms. They simply avoid beginning the journey. On the other hand those who have attained success have always had the foresight and vision to seek opportunities in the midst of difficulties. The great scientist of the world especially those who have found cures for various ailments and diseases have not let their fear of the disease stop them from seeing an opportunity to find a cure for the same. There is risk, there is possibility of failure but there is also the sense of achievement, the joy of success and their vision of contributing for the larger good. Remember – A pessimist sees a difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees an opportunity in every difficulty’

Accept what can’t be changed – Every individual will definitely come across a situation that suddenly cascades into an avalanche of uncertainties. The death of a parent/ loved one, a sudden job loss, an unexpected health related issue etc. immediate trigger alarm, creates panic and disturbs our equilibrium. The situation is not of our making, yet it cannot be wished away of ignored. While the immediate shock is natural, it is essential that we come to grips with reality and begin to accept the situation. With a positive outlook, one can rationally seek out the positives that exist despite the not too pleasant situation you find yourself in. This will allow us to think with a calm mind, pick up our life once again and pursue our goals with purpose, passion and positivity. Remember – If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. -Mary Engelbreit

Change things by being proactive – Be the change you want to see, is a common enough refrain. Yes you have to take that bold step to begin the change that you want in your life. Change that overcomes you by accident, would often overwhelm you but change that you set in motion, is largely controlled by you and you can often steer it to direction you want to go. Begin by making small changes in your own life. Self discipline is good way to begin. Progress from thereon, to taking the lead to change things that you strongly feel about. You are taking charge of the uncertainty ahead to steer it to a certainty that you have envisioned. Remember – “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” A.A. Milne

Try these:

  1. Rearrange your home and office space. It would be a proactive beginning and would also allow you to feel the power that you posses to influence the world around you when you take some proactive steps.
  2. Arrange these in the order that applies to you; with the most problematic one listed first and going down the order. Outline steps to tackle these so that you are leveraging possibilities to eliminate / minimize your problems
  • Lack of self discipline
  • Indecision
  • Poor time management
  • Impulsive reactions
  • Quick temper
  • Procrastination
  • Pessimistic outlook

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The past is behind… begin now and march ahead !

10- 22 April 15- Lessons from the pastOne of the big millstones that weighs down and defeats people, is the regret that they have of their past and their mistaken belief, that they have missed the boat to success. It is true that every one of us would have something in the past that we would desperately want to edit and redo; yet the past is only a mirage that cannot be revisited but we must not convert that into a regretful flashback put on permanent loop. On the contrary, successful people have build their success by learning the lessons from their past, being cautious not to repeat the mistakes and occasionally tweaking the lessons learnt to make another attempt. (Read this to get insight of the FedEx billionaire Fred Smith http://tinyurl.com/ln9xxbq )

In fact, your past provides you an excellent reference point to value your achievements. Whatever your failures, disappointments, frustrations and / or regrets you are here today reading this post because your past could not define you as a defeatist nor could it destroy your strong will nor could it deter you from pursuing your dreams and neither did you concede defeat to the past failures. Your past has made you more determined, disciplined and daring; in short it has strengthened you.

The challenge now is to make optimum use of the strength that you posses. This can be done by consciously working on your GAME

Your Goals – Unless one has an objective and a plan, there would be neither purpose not progress. Well thought out, written goals will provide us the direction and the roadmap to march ahead. Never forget that the a journey of a 1000 miles begins with the first step. Writing down your goals is the first step in your march towards success. You must have goals for varied dimensions of your life be it personal goals, professional goals, academic goals, self development goals, relationship goals, spiritual goals etc. Writing down your goals will bring clarity, ensure attentiveness, help monitor your progress and provide you motivation and self worth to pursue it with passion.

Your Attitude – Like New Year resolutions that we all cynically believe are meant to be broken, even written down goals will remain on paper with no progress being made unless one adopts the right attitude to attain the goals. Progress could be slow, impediments could be many, there could be occasional failures and disappointments but remember every successful person has overcome all these because they had the can do, will do attitude. No goal is too big or too small. In fact the small goals are the stepping stone to success for with every small goal attained you would have traversed many mile forward to attaining your larger goal. Yes you too can eat an Elephant slice by slice!

Your Motivation – Even the most disciplined individual will have to confront the demons of self doubt, slow progress, discouragement from others and at times even the ignominy of ridicule and taunts from critics. One must be able to identify both an extrinsic motivation and more importantly and intrinsic motivation to provide the energy, the nourishment and the impetus to keep marching ahead ignoring all protestations of mind and body. Your goals must exceed your grasp for that is when one is motivated to aim higher, reach further and progress beyond one’s comfort zone and discover a new world, a new destination and a new person in you.

Your Efforts – Now that you have read so far, it is time you actually walked the talk. So write down your goals, the positive words /adjectives that could determine / outline the attitude needed and identify the motivation that will drive you to attain your goals. Don’t forget that your goals are not mere statements of good intent but definitive, positively articulated tangible outcomes. Ensure that each one of your goals is a SMART goal i.e. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time bound. By now you have the drift of what is expected of you; not platitudes of good intent but a tango of mind and body that will bring you closer to realizing your full potential, leverage your hidden strengths and give you the euphoria of success.

Who cares what happened in the past? The GAME is on…this moment is as good a time as any to begin and win !

Try these:

I often get emails (actspot@gmail.com) requesting help in finding the best way to improve an individual’s English Language Skills. Here are some ways but you will have to convert them into your own personal goals. Cultivate the right attitude, find the appropriate motivation and put in your efforts to progress in mastering English.

  • Read a lot ( could be Readers Digest / English Newspapers / Magazines / Comics / Fiction / books related to your profession etc.)
  • Look up words in the dictionary and also check for alternative in a Thesaurus
  • Most English language newspapers have a recreation page with crosswords , comic strips, other resources. Make it a habit to consciously attempt some of these daily. This is a fun way to learn new words and the meanings.
  • Cultivate English speaking friends and make a conscious effort to speak in English. Encourage your friends to correct you so that you get feedback and can improve. Make a determined effort not to speak in your native tongue.
  • Watch English movies with sub titles so that in case you do not understand the spoken language you can still grasp the words from the sub titles.
  • Write one page atleast, every day. This could be in the form of a dairy of daily happenings or it could be your thoughts and feelings or it could be a summary of your reading or random thoughts and musings. Once you start writing, you would be well on your way to becoming excellent in English for that is the culmination of the GAME you started and your Efforts will pay off.

What are the passions you always wanted to indulge in but never had the time / resources / courage to pursue? ( e.g. learn dancing , go hiking, visit Europe, write my own blog, work with an NGO, start my own business, give lectures, become a crusader for a cause etc.) Select a couple of them and put it in your list of Goals. Use the SMART goal formula to make these attainable goals. You should now be able to definitely attain your goals within the time-frame you have set.

Go through this list of positive words, that can trigger your imagination to determine other words, which will help you have the right motivation and attitude to achieve your goals.

Be yourselfThis post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.com

Choose well and make a difference to your life this year

26-30 Dec 14choose atleast one and make this new year even betterAs the year 2014 comes to a close, we can reflect on the past and plan for the future. Reflection will enable us to track the highpoints as well as the low points of our life in 2014. It gives us a sense of fulfilment tinged with some remorse and possibly some regret too at the wasted opportunities. The image above gives us a plethora of options to reflect upon. You must also look at other aspects of your life and recount those special moments of elation and dispassionately analyze the low points of your life too. More importantly, reflect hard on the learning derived from the low points.

Once the reflection is done with, concentrate on the wonderful future ahead of you. There is so much that one can aspire for, strive to achieve and make dreams come true. True success however will still be the peace, calm and contentment that you derive every single day. However for the vast majority of us who cannot lead a mendicant’s life but has to earn a living and provide for the family, it is our work life and family life that we need to pay attention too. Obviously there would be periods of stress, issues of moral and ethical dilemmas, complicated decision making and challenges of balancing personal and professional life. Despite these myriad of unpleasant challenges bringing life on even keel is possible if you were to focus on some of the positive affirmations enumerated above.

Use atleast one of the affirmations enumerated above as the pivot around which to base your life and daily living in the coming year. It might be a simple affirmation but when you try to put it in practice throughout the year, it could suddenly loom large as insurmountable mountain. Yet with awareness, determination and focus one can stick to the affirmation and soon it would become a life changing habit. Give it a try and see yourself change into an even more happier, contented and successful person this year. Let this be your first resolution for 2015.

My best wishes to you for the New Year 2015 !

Try this:

  • Write down 3 of your favourite proverbs / sayings. Reflect on how or why the sayings/ proverbs appeal to you. Can you find an affirmation that comes close to the saying or proverb you like?
  • Draft a letter to an intimate friend outlining the year gone by and your plans for the coming year. End the letter with 3 requests to your friend asking him/ her to do something specific for you to help you achieve the plans set for the New Year.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.in

They may not follow but…

13-16-They may not follow

This pearl of wisdom is first meant for parents, especially those parents who have already chalked out the course their children should traverse.  It would also boost the confidence of youngsters who are yearning to follow their dreams/ passions which are far removed from those expectations others have from them.

It is essential to acknowledge that each person is an individual who would have his/ her parents DNA but thereafter grows up to be an independent thinker and would have to walk a self chalked out path all on his/her own. Most parents believe that having their DNA gives them a right to mould and control a child to meet their pre determined standards and fulfill their ideal desires. Other well meaning friends, family members and elders would also similarly express themselves in an overbearing manner with good intent but with precious little appreciation for the individuality of those they are addressing.

Elders in general, including teachers, grandparents, uncles and aunts and parents in particular usurp the right to profusely spiel out advice believing that their age and experience give them an upper hand in dealing with the challenges of life. While their age and experience do have immense value, what they fail to appreciate in others is that the others particularly the youngsters have matured a lot faster, are exposed to a more compact world where information flows easily and they also believe they have the right to be heard loud and clear. This clash of values, expectations, hopes and ambitions is a major cause of discord within families particularly parents and children.

Here are 3 suggestions for elders and 3 for youngsters reading this, to ensure that they appreciate this post better

Elders

  1. Just guide them don’t goad them
  2. Respect the individuality of others no matter what they age or gender
  3. Acknowledge the efforts and if you find merit encourage them

Youngsters

  1. Respect everyone and then earn the respect of others – disagree without being disagreeable
  2. Share your ideas/ thoughts with elders who would be more open to your sharing
  3. Be committed to your goals. This means writing it down and working towards achieving it.

Try this:

Visit www.johngoddard.info and find the various goals that he set for himself and how he achieved most of it. What if his elders dissuaded him? What if he did not commit himself to it?

Elders think of your parents expectations from you and your siblings. How far did they fulfill it. Now examine the growth of the 3 best students ( your classmates) in school/ college and the three so called failures in school/ college. How have they fared? Did they do something extraordinary or did some of them fail your expectations?

Youngsters don’t just have plans. Write down your plans and put it down as SMART goals. If you do not know what are smart goals, you first task is to take the effort to find out what it is. Next learn to challenge yourself. To do this write down the following first

–       The animal / creature/ reptile that is found in your vicinity that you fear the most

–       The activity  or task that you fear /dislike the most

–       The situation or occasions that you dislike immensely

–       The food or cuisine that you simply don’t want to eat

–       The one addiction or habit that you cannot do away with

You have to confront either all or at least 2 of the above till you reduce your aversion / kick the habit by at least 50% Self discipline is the key and overcoming your fears is the learning that is crucial for you to chart your won course.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Oh this is me !

13-7-Oh this is me

First read the words above again and then proceed to read further with a smile on your face for you have discovered your true self now. Not just you but check with family and friends and you will find that each one of them will identify with the above reality. The pain, sufferings and mistakes are often the first thing that we recollect when we try to rationalize our journey thus far.  The successes we have enjoyed, the achievements and accolades received are often seen as insignificant compared to the effort, the hurdles and problems that we have battled. Yet, we would in rare moments of candidness, admit that the journey thus far has been worth it for it made us better, more resilient and definitely proud of ourselves.

The reality is that almost everyone feels that he/ she could have done a lot better if only…

  • We worked harder
  • We were a wee bit luckier
  • We had the daring to follow our heart
  • Were a wee bit more patient
  • Could control our emotions and manage relationships better etc.

Since the past cannot be undone, there is little to gain by ruing over it. Yet, by our very nature we tend to lapse into ruminations about the past, particularly those events/ situations that we wish could be undone. That is when, we need to be more pragmatic, be more optimistic and seek out the blessings that every experience has given us.  To begin with, you are alive and well enough to still influence the course of your life and destiny.  No matter what your age, what your social or economic background or what your education is, hope exits as long as there is life.

Here are 3 steps to lead a more fulfilling and rewarding life

Map your coordinates. Do a realistic assessment of your personal, financial, career related and social status. This could involve deep thinking, extensive note making and should ideally also include free and frank discussions with family and friends.  Do not shy away from noting the negatives, the concerns that need to be addressed and the occasional candid but unpleasant feedback you get.

Adjust your compass. If mapping the coordinates felt like a burden, adjusting the compass is sheer torture. This is because for once you have to purposefully look to the future with hope and fortitude but with the baggage of the coordinates grounding you to reality. So while we may have fanciful ideas, imagine pots of gold at the end of the illusionary rainbow we fancy, the path would we long winded, uphill and rocky. The secret lies in generating enough passion within yourself to sustain and motivate you to that goal.

Proceed purposefully. Once the goal is clear and the current coordinates established no matter how far the goal is we need to proceed with hope, determination and joy. While hope kindles the spirit, determination propels is in the journey and it is the joy in the journey that makes the effort easier and smoother.

Look in the mirror and do you see a more confident you?  If you have cone thus far, there is nothing that can stop you now from attaining your goals.  Keep striding , striving and succeeding !

Try this:

Go in front of the mirror and try to get the following expressions on your face

  • Happiness
  • Anger
  • Disgust
  • Frustration
  • Pain
  • Irritation
  • Coyness
  • Indifference

(How tough or easy was it for you to do it? Do you have a better appreciation of the job of an actor/ actress when they have to emote on screen? Do you think you can do a better job of emoting in front of the mirror if you had a situation or scene or script to give you an authentic setting for the emotions to be expressed? Do you think that script is equally to the Compass for an actor?)

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Make a difference

make a difference today

As we grow up, within our family environment, the school environment and friends circle, we are exposed to good values, good thoughts and imbibe the power of discernment. However, as we widen our circle of friends, acquaintances, professional colleagues and interact more with the general environment around us, our original set of values and beliefs get slowly eroded. We then learn to rationalize our behavior and attitude to adjust to the influences that are too overbearing to ignore and too tempting to avoid. That is when we end up being different from what we were brought up to be.

Yet it is never too late to change and embrace our core values even if that comes at an apparently heavy cost. You can actually make a difference to your life and those whose lives you influence and here is how you can begin today. HELP yourself.

Have self belief – Trust your abilities and believe in your core values. That is when you will begin to resist temptations, seek out the path of self righteousness and have the courage of conviction to withstand the pressures be it outright threats, the lure of amassing wealth or the fear of being isolated. Help yourself get up and get out of the quagmire you are currently in.

Explore possibilities – If you are compelled by circumstances to pursue a path for which you have a strong antipathy, it is for you to think differently and explore alternatives to get out of the vicious circle in which you find yourself trapped. E.g. as a student the pressure to copy or let others copy from you is often too difficult to ignore. However a strong resolve to accept the outcome without resorting to unfair means would spur you to study harder and relish the results. Similarly be steadfast in your resolve not succumb to pressures to let others copy and you could try by beginning to solve the question paper in random order. Since most people solve papers in sequential order you would be unable to succumb to the pressure of others to let them cheat from your paper.

Let go of the past – We brood over our mistakes, wistfully think about possibilities that have long ago eluded us and often seethe over those avoidable blunders which we committed. While we must not forget the lesson that we learnt from the past, the way to make up is by beginning immediately and doubling our efforts. Successful inventors and scientific breakthroughs are testimony to this reality. You too can remodel your life and make a significant difference in your thoughts and deeds by getting rid of the deadweight of the past.

Prepare to be different. – If you have to be different you must stand out.

  • You must first begin to radiate from within – self belief will help you do that.
  • Then you must do things differently – exploring possibilities will help you find exciting alternatives.
  • Next is to be seen as different – letting go of the past and adapting to the current reality will portray you in different light.

You suddenly discover that you are a different person; brimming with confidence, bubbling with ideas, optimistic about the future and standing head and shoulders above the others.

You have now made a difference to yourself and a bigger difference to those around you.

Try this:

  1. Attempt a change in your external makeup – maybe hairstyle; perhaps style of dressing; work on your body language; work on your vocabulary/ accent/ tone;
  2. Attempt a change in your mental makeup – read something different; focus on a new learning; confront your fears and try something that you never dared to; change your attitude to people whom you resented or disliked;
  3. Attempt a change in your life style – change your eating habits; your daily routine; if you are an outdoor person try to spent more time indoors and vice versa; commit yourself to a social cause

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com