Tag: Giving

Be yourself and discover…

13-2-Be true to yourself and discover ...

Like a dog chasing its tail in the fond hope of finding happiness there, the human race seeks to find happiness in the world around us. Unlike a dog that only has one tail to chase, we end up pursuing every strand of perceived happiness  largely materialistic, quite often competitively , at times egoistically and  when stressed spiritually. The trouble though is that, we seek happiness by being selfish, self centered and for self gratification. Interestingly when we are pursuing happiness focused largely on our self centered needs, unwittingly we are using what we perceive as the happiness of others as the benchmark for our own gratification and happiness. In short we covet what others have and when on the rare occasion we do manage to posses it, after a brief spell of ecstasy we look for something else for our self gratification and resultant happiness.

Now pause for a moment and try and recollect those moments of bliss that you experienced. Was it the time you received a praise for having done a good deed or was it the time you learned to balance a bicycle without falling off or was it the time you found a valuable that was lost or was it the time you scored the highest ever marks in your career or was it all of the above? Notice that in each of these moments of happiness, you were central to the moment. The thrill was in experiencing and cherishing the moments that belonged to you and you alone. There was no benchmark to measure it with, no competition that prodded you on, no ego that had to be satisfied; it was simply a personal wow moment.

The challenge is then to make the best of every moment that is yours. Worrying is perhaps the biggest thief of those moments. Instead the focus must be on getting on with what has to be done. Criticism if any that comes your way must be accepted with grace if it is justified else ignored when it is misdirected. The occasional failures must be seen as an opportunity to learn and better yourself.  The pain that comes with having to deal with tough tasks must be seen as a small price to pay in the larger scheme of things. Every small success that comes along must be embraced with warmth, cherished with delight and treasured as priceless. That is true happiness deservingly and exclusively yours.

Happiness is not just what comes from getting something or achieving something. The nectar of happiness is sweetest when we give. A smile is the simplest thing that we can freely give and receive manifold in return. A smile is an outer expression of an inner radiance. A word of praise or comfort, the warmth of a hug, an apology for a mistake, pardon to another for an indiscretion and thanks to anyone who deserves it are triggers of happiness. Similarly exercising control over our negative emotions be it anger, envy, jealousy, pride etc. help us realize our inner strength and translates into happiness in realizing the power of our own self control.

Happiness comes from knowing that by your thoughts and deeds YOU have left the world a better place.

Try this:

  1. List out the names of 5 individuals who you dislike immensely. Now try and outline 3 positive qualities that each of these individuals posses. Do you experience a lessening of your dislike because you have got a more objective understanding of these individuals? Now outline the one quality in the person that irritates you the most. Can you see this irritant as a minor one and ignore it? Do you feel happier for having excused the person for his/ her irritating ways?
  2. Make a list of 5 for each of the following
  • Your favorite jokes
  • Your favorite pictures
  • Your favorite songs
  • Your favorite movies
  • Your favorite teachers
  • Your favorite moments in life

How did you feel after having made the list? Did it bring back some fond memories?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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Generosity in Practice

Generosity gives assistance, rather than advice. Vauvenargues

The temptation to give advice (some of my posts are testimony to that) is looked upon as a right mainly because it is given free, does not have tangible responsibility attached to it and the consequences if adverse are faced by those used the advice. There is also the possibility of the advice working well and then those who propounded it can thump their chest with pride and tom- tom to the world that it was their suggestion. ( I am hoping that the daily posts here over the past 2 months have actually benefited many. The feedback suggests so, as also the number of hits to the site bears testimony to it too.)

Generosity on the other hand is all about giving freely not just from your excess but true generosity is sharing what ever you have with an other. Unlike advice which is merely verbal, real generosity demands physical parting; be it money or other tangible riches like food, clothing etc. The heart of generosity though demands much more including sparing time to be with those who need you, having the compassion and the empathy when spending time with those who crave for your company and having tons of patience for generosity is very demanding.

The most generous gift anyone can give is the gift of their time. Time as you will know is given to each of us in equal measure so you are never giving out of your excess time but making a choice to allot time for a generous cause. The paradox of modern life is that while technology has progressed to narrow the distances between  distant lands, connect people across the globe and make communication instantaneous more and more people feel lonely alienated and aloof.

Let me share with you a real life example of a very well off couple who is known to me and how their generosity is worth emulating. The couple have dedicated an evening every week to spend time with the inmates of an old age home. What is more interesting is that they never go to that home empty handed. The couple will knead the dough and make wheat bread for the inmates and some accompaniment too (it is obviously also much more tasty for it is home made, fresh and filled with LOVE). While the wife is personally serving the food, the husband helps out in trimming the finger nails of the inmates and also shaving those who can’t do it themselves. This couple can so easily outsource the food or hire a barber to do the chores but it is their time and LOVE that is true generosity.

Remember: Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.” – Frank A. Clark

Try these:

  1. Identify a similar program to the one above, where you can put into practice your generosity. Fine tune it to your abilities and compliment it with the requirement of those receiving it.
  2. Make it a point to get to know at least one new person every week. Also form the practice of meeting, greeting and spending a few minutes with different people everyday. Remember there are many people whose outward smiles and flamboyant demeanor actually mask a very lonely and possibly bitter person. You never know whose life you touch and change by spending a few minutes with them.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our weekly Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com