Tag: Happy

First things first

First things first

In life there are times when we know what must be done to rectify a situation but either our ego or the fear of retribution or the anxiety of embarrassment hold us back. Yet, on hindsight, we do realize that the benefits of being first to rectify the situation far outweigh the short term concerns that prevent us from doing what is right. Three of the most classic cases of us suffering more for our procrastination in not taking the right step are as under:

Apologizing – The first to apologize is the bravest –  Our fear of retribution or occasionally our ego  will often over ride our sense of justice and we would often delay offering an apology for a mistake we have made or an injustice (albeit mistakenly ) committed. Yet the moment you decide that an apology is warranted and that too quickly, if you can gather the courage to apologize by  stifling the fear and/ or ego, you will realize that it is the bravest decision that you would have taken. Often it is also a very emotionally fulfilling decision because you would otherwise have to carry the guilt around. Mistakes happen to the best of us; however it is the bravest who can quickly apologize and seek forgiveness for the mistake.

Forgiving – The first to forgive is the strongest. – Our petty mindedness would trigger our ego and forgiving a mistake and accepting an apology would become a very difficult proposition. Unnecessarily we believe that by forgiving we are lowering our prestige or letting another go scot-free. The truth is that it takes a lot of courage to pardon someone who has knowingly or unknowingly hurt or troubled us. If we take an eye for an eye approach we would be carrying a burden of acting differently from what we really are. Instead by forgiving one who seeks forgiveness we would have displayed our moral courage and large heart. Forgiveness is a display of good character, sound values and the courage to do the right thing.

Forgetting – The first to forget is the happiest – If one nurtures a grudge, holds a past hurt to fuel fire to take revenge or allow ourselves to be consumed by rage and anger, it takes a toll on our mental peace, physical health and destroys our personal tranquility. For the hurt you feel, the disappointments you face because of others, the bad times that have overwhelmed you and the nagging need to get even with others, only results in you carrying an unseen burden within. Let go of that burden by forgetting the torments, the tormentors and the past and your heart, mind and body would feel lighter, less burdensome and certainly more relaxed. You will be a man with no worries; the person who is happiest.

Try these:           

  • Think of the time when you apologized for a mistake and you were not forgiven. What could be the reason for the other person not willing to forgive you?
  • What is the hurt/ anger/ guilt that you are still carrying around? Why is it that you are not able to forget the incident or forgive the person who hurt you?
  • If at all you have any painful memories of the past, how have you coped with it? Have you tried forgiving and / or forgetting it or the perpetrators if any ?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Happiness Diet

Happiness Diet

If you ask anyone what he/she seeks in life, you will realize that everything boils down to being happy. Hence today’s post is on a simple diet to remain happy every day, every hour, every moment. Like any specified diet for any illness there is a list of prohibited items and a list of recommended items. Also included are two tablets to be ingested morning and night. Follow it and remain happy always.

Prohibited items so as ensure you remain happy:

Complaints – Out biggest weakness is our tendency to find fault, to complaint and to crib instead of appreciating the efforts put in by others or alternatively doing our bit to set things right. Complaints may draw attention, it may help us offload our anger but invariably it affects us negatively.

Bad moods and resentment – Both these largely go hand in hand. We allow ourselves to let minor things affect our feelings and moods and thereby imbibe negativity within us. At times we simply resent certain people or situations because you are either jealous, envious or dislike the person or situation.

Living in the past The good old days is a lament of the older people. Fact is each of us getting older by the minute and it won’t be long before each of us also lives in the past and longingly recalls the good old days. The past is gone so recalling it may be nostalgic but would not do much good for our current living. Adapt to the changes around and live life the way it is today.

Avoid negative people – The whiners, the critics, the angry and resentful people, those who are constantly finding fault. The list goes on. Avoid or atleast minimize contact with anyone and everyone who largely displays these negative traits. They will negatively influence your thinking and slowly you will be seeing the world from their perspective.  A dark, gloomy and hopeless future never helps anyone feel happy.

Compulsory items to ensure you remain happy.

Laughter – The most visible sign of happiness is laughter. Hence it is essential that we find ways and means to enjoy a good laugh. Fortunately for people of the current period, Wattsapp provides ample laughter through various forwards one receives. Unfortunately the same medium also gives much more disturbing and often unverified inputs that confuses, creates fear and gets people worried. Hence one needs to find alternatives to ensure you get a daily dose of laughter. It could be in cartoons in the newspapers, jokes in magazines or finding real life humorous situations. There are also laughter clubs mushrooming and that is another alternative to begin the day well. Learning to poke of one’s own self is also a good way to find laughter from within. However, be careful not to evoke laugher at the expense of others or by being sarcastic, making caustic comments or insensitive observations.

Hugs & Kisses – Touch is a very important aspect of life that is often underutilized largely because of cultural taboos. In the current scenarios where bad touch has gained notoriety touch as a source of happiness has to be very carefully utilized. Touch is most evident in hugs and kisses especially when people are travelling afar. However, other touch elements could include an appreciation through a pat on the back and empathy through a squeeze on the shoulders. Families bond a lot through hugs and kisses and happiness is alive and visible then.

Living the moment – being alive.- One common problem that confronts people is that they are often reminiscing about the past or making grandiose plans for the future. What they miss out on is the reality that they have to live for today and must focus on making today something special. So they need to enjoy the moment, relish the challenges, face the upheavals stoically and smile through the niggles and giggles that they will encounter each day. It is by living each moment with awareness, with passion and with integrity that one comes alive fully. End of day, there will be no tears or regrets; just contentment and a smile on the face and joy in the heart.

It also helps if each morning we begin with a broad smile that reflects a positive attitude. We can go to bed in peace if we reflect on the day and be grateful for all the wonders it has offered. These two pills taken each day at day break and sundown would ensure a perfect happiness ECG for every individual.

Try these:

  1. List out 5 most invaluable items in your possession. Can you donate/ sacrifice any one or more of these items and still remain contented?
  2. What positives would you see in the following situations?
  • You have failed in an exam by one mark
  • You have misplaced your wallet containing substantial money and your credit cards.
  • You have been bitten by a stray dog.
  • You have been passed over for a promotion and worse still your bitter rival at work gets a double promotion.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Focus on what you see

03-first-3-wordsOne of the problems many of us have is our inability to really identify something positive to focus upon. This is partly because our minds tend to stray towards what troubles us, our problems real and imagined and varied anxieties that we have made ‘much ado about nothing’. The problem becomes more acute at the start of the year for most of our plans/ resolutions tend to center around unfinished business, challenges to be met and overcoming our limitations. The grid above, however, has ample positives that stare at us and it would help if we focus on the first 3-5 positive words noticed and for the rest of the year align our goals to meet the goals those words beckon.

Honestly I would have loved to list out some of the words above, but then it would take away the fun for you.  Instead, my friends, I am using my power of identification to share my experience of using my time to focus on some goals that have helped me gain friends, popularity and happiness. While money is important, it is the fun of influencing lives that really drives me. The beauty of this is that, I can with all honesty confess, that I have a large circle of young friends and interacting with them makes me feel young at heart. By the way, you also need to use your time not just for yourself but also for others. Keeping busy would also ensure good health in mind and body. If you look carefully there is something positive in every line except for one word. It is not for me to identify it but yes if you have the lust for life, even that word would be positive although most times we use it in a negative context.

Have fun decoding the above and more importantly use those words to make this year a wonderful and productive year for you and all those whose lives you influence.

Try these:

The grid gives you enough to focus on. Break time for both you and me. Actually, it is break time for me just for this post; you have ample scope to keep busy for the rest of the year.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Finding your passion

34-finding-your-passion

One question that often baffles an individual is how one finds his / her passion. It is largely by a trial and error method in most cases. Some lucky individuals do get to know their passion from early childhood; others discover it in teenage and some stumble upon it much later. For the overwhelming majority though, finding one’s passion is almost as elusive as trying to find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. We would focus on what is common to every individual’s passion and what is the ideal passion to pursue.

What you love – The primary test of what one finds passionate is how much we love it. Passion comes from having a deep, abiding interest and obsession with something. Now most times our passions, especially in our growing up years keep changing. Similarly we discover new and fascinating things that grab our attention and make us pine to for it. Varied dimensions of technology in particular fascinates us as do creative pursuits and self driven concerns like environmental pollution, garbage recycling, health etc. What compounds our choices is the combination of passions that we seem to revel in. Let us say writing or art or cinema is our primary interest and now technology offers us blogs /video platforms to express ourselves and reach worldwide audiences. Pursuing new applications to leverage our expertise combined with the power of technology available on with smart phones and computers opens up new frontiers to explore. With wider choices, we have more opportunities to explore; we must experiment and discover what we truly find fascinating.

What you are good at:  While it is difficult to zoom in on to a couple of things that fascinate us, what is more important and more challenging is finding out if we have the skills, the aptitude and the ability to pursue and make those passions an extension of ourselves. Having a fascination and obsession is relatively passive, the true test is if we can translate what we love into a profession that makes us happy, allows us to use all our abilities and makes us happy each single day. One critical test to know if our passion is real, is to test if we have the intrinsic motivation to pursue it every single day. Do we keep thinking about our work and how we can improve it, make it more fascinating, keep ourselves updated about it and get a thrill out of sharing about it. Once you know what you love and what you are good at, you can feel a sense of happiness every single day.

What pays you well : While you can be happy pursuing your passion, the reality is that we live in a world that requires us to fend for ourselves and our families. This is reality that we cannot escape from and we must be alive to this facet of living. The ideal passion would be one, where you can follow your heart, use your head and turn it into a profitable venture. This means that we make use of our talents, our obsessions to ensure a good living. There are times when we realize our strengths and leverage it to make a good living but our heart and mind are into something else. That is when you are financially well off but bored because you are not fully engaged in what you do   E.g. We are academically brilliant and hence you get a good degree and pursue a job that pays well.  Perhaps your first love is to spread your knowledge and become a teacher but that profession is relatively less acceptable socially and financially relatively less rewarding than your current profession. It is then a compromise passion not the ideal passion that your pursuing.

For many people, once they have met their financial goals, they find it simpler to follow their ideal passion. They would take risks to pursue eco farming, teach the economically weaker, be involved in social activities where their skills sets are fully used etc. Till one reaches that stage, the ideal passion is one where your love for something, your skill set /aptitude/ expertise in that area and your returns/ benefits from pursuing that combine, to provide you happiness and bliss every single moment.

Try these:

  1. So what would your dream job/ profession be? What is stopping you from realizing that dream job/ profession?
  2. Make a list of the following:
  • Appreciation received from parents / teachers / classmates/ colleagues
  • Encouragement received from all of the above
  • Advice/ suggestions on what you must pursue as a profession
  • The events/ occasions when you felt elated and valued
  • The activities that make you delighted/ thrilled / blissful
  • The above will give you pointers on where you can find your ideal passion

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Beinging right – feeling happy ?

Do you prefer that you be right, or that you be happy? A Course In Miracles

Right from childhood we have been conditioned to give the right response. We were taught to identify and refer to our parents and grandparents and siblings in the appropriate manner. No sooner we learnt to talk we were deluged with a string of learning activities right from the alphabets to little poems and possibly some prayers too. The focus was to ensure we got the learning right. It is no wonder therefore that we become fiercely competitive and at all cost be right be it in getting a math’s problem right or winning a debate or an argument.

While there is nothing wrong in being right and possibly get acknowledgment for once powerful intellect, there are times when we must make exceptions if not for anything else but to remain happy and cheerful. If this sounds like a paradox, imagine the plight of a teacher who has to tell a very hyper mother that her child is unable to cope up and will fail. While the easiest thing is to just tell the truth upfront a good teacher will visualize the effect of her blunt statement on the hapless child and the sensitive mother. Thereafter the teacher will convey the message in a much more subtle manner that may tone down the reality and even possibly divert attention to reflect the teachers own limitations in meeting the student’s special needs. If the mother and child have reconciled to the reality without terrible emotional distress the teacher would be delighted that she did a wonderful job without out rightly spilling the beans.

A similar predicament with more even more serious implications is faced by doctors who have to diagnose life threatening illness and convey it to the patients and the close relatives. The dilemma they face is how to convey the terrible news without frightening the patient to death or creating pandemonium amongst the close relatives and loved ones.  That apart, doctors will have to answer numerous questions most of it frivolous from a professional point of view but terribly important to those who stare death in the face. Questions like what are the chances of recovery to what are the alternatives to the current treatment to where can we locate another expert might be futile questions to answer for the doctor but it would be awful to brush these questions aside and bluntly retort that there is no hope. Despite the reality, the doctors conscious will be at ease if he gives answers that assuage the patient and the loved ones without remotely hinting at any false hopes.

Coming back to ordinary mortals, we too face a similar dilemma often. Imagine your son wanting to miss school because he is up the whole night watching the world cup football matches. He wants you to give a suitable explanation to the school management explaining the child’s absence. You don’t want to lie and set a bad precedent and yet you know that telling the truth might put your child in a big spot of trouble. If you substitute the son with yourself watching the matches and not going to work how will you explain your absence to the boss? Imagine your spouse preparing an exotic dish as a surprise. Unfortunately you have not liked the same and your wife is hovering around seeking a compliment. How will you keep her happy and also ensure that she won’t repeat the dish again?

While there are no clear cut answers to many of these dilemma, the line of action must be oriented towards seeing that  the reply does not upset people including yourself and at the same time you are able to gently touch upon the truth. Perhaps a white lie maybe justified in these situations.

Remember: “Consider the rights of others before your own feelings, and the feelings of others before your own rights.” John Wooden

Try this:

  1. Do read this wonderful short story by Somerset Maugham  titled Mr.Knowall http://maugham.classicauthors.net/knowall It is a perfect example of today’s quote.
  2. Your best friend has an annoying habit that your family members dislike. You daughter threatens to tell your friend on his face about the behavior that they dislike unless you take some action to inform your friend and get him to correct himself. How will you handle the situation?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com