Tag: Independence

The power within you

The power within you

From childhood, we are taught to respect authority and to seek approval from parents, elders, and authorities before we take any major action. We also look upto them for approval to confirm that we have done a good job. There is logic and wisdom in this method for those older and wiser have greater experience and expertise which comes in handy to guide a novice.  Yet, as the years go by the novice begins to gain experience, wisdom and independent thinking. At times her/his knowledge may far exceed that of his elders. However just as old habits die hard, the need to seek approval remains partly as a mark of respect but chiefly because one hesitates to break the ties and be our own person. Maturity and independence is  translated into power when the  individual takes that giant leap of making her/ his own decisions without any approval of others. It also marks the coming of age of the individual and is a sign of the power each individual holds within.

Here are the steps to realizing and utilizing your real power:

Take responsibility – This is the key to becoming powerful. Unless one takes responsibility for the consequences of a decision / action, it is impossible for a person to be powerful. It is easy to take credit for success but almost impossible to take complete responsibility for failure. The tendency to apportion blame on circumstances, people and bad luck is common place but to own up to the problem is a tad difficult.

Be decisive – A major reason for people not using their full potential and power is their indecision. Sometimes tough decisions have to be taken for the larger good. The tough decisions can have serious consequences for some and great leaders are aware of this yet firmly give their orders. A general in war may have to sacrifice his people for the greater good of winning the war. At other times the same General may have to surrender because he knows his army cannot win and large number of lives from both sides would be lost.  In life we have our own personal wars with simple things like changing a job or giving up on a dream or pursuing a passion that is disapproved by all well wishers.

Look beyond – Your real power is not in what you achieve in the short term but how you go about realizing your big dream. Think big, think beyond the immediate horizon, and visualize the impact you will have on the world around you when you peak. What you do today must help you leap ahead of the completion. That is the way a leader goes up and leaves the rest of the pack behind. Take the pack along as you go but lead the pack with a promise of glory and join them in toasting the success you envisioned and achieved.

Shape it your way – Furrow your own path. Do not imitate. You must carve out your own destiny and shape it the way you have visualized it. It must be different, unique and special for you. This does not mean that you do something no one has done before. It means that you do it the way a music director comes up with a new tune or music arrangement. It must be music to your ears, colorful in your eyes and pleasing to the heart. The world around must also get to feel the same in their lives and heart.

Try these:

  • Think of the three most important decisions in your life that you have taken. What was the outcome? Were you influenced by anyone to take any or all of these decisions? Which was the toughest decision you took and why was it so hard? Which decision do you ever regret and why?
  • What was the most humiliating or painful experience in your life? How did you feel then and how do you feel now? Do you still carry the hurt with you even now? Have you made peace with that episode yet?
  • Take crayons or paint and explore abstract art. E.g. take a piece of paper and fold it in two. Open the paper and on one side at various places put various colors of wet paint. Then fold the paper and randomly rub it in any direction. Open the paper and see the handiwork. Similarly you can experiment using a couple of strings in the paper then folding the paper and drawing out the strings. The quality of the outcome is less important than the experience and variety of art work you manage thereafter.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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Be Yourself

Don’t let other people tell you what you want. Pat Riley

Our upbringing and family values lay a high premium on respecting the views and wishes of elders and well wishers. While decency and etiquette’s demands we extend such courtesies, it is just as important to know where one must draw the line. Very often we are not just advised by well meaning people but even subtly cajoled, pressurized and occasionally blackmailed into pursuing what others perceive as being right for us. Choice of subjects to take while in college, the method and style of study, the long term career you need to pursue, are all areas in which a person can easily be unduly influenced.

One of the main casualties in this ‘I will tell you what to do or I know best what suits you’ syndrome is the surrendering of our independence and a deep hurt and prejudice we carry when our views are not heard, let alone it being accepted.  The suppression of our passion and interest is something we take a long term to come to grips with. There is also the danger of one being manipulated by vested interests e.g. a doctor couple running a successful practice forcing the children to follow in their footsteps to continue the legacy. Emotional blackmail is a favorite tool for imposing ones will on others. Take the case of an inter caste  love affair; both sides will try and dissuade their respective ‘subject’ to back off from the alliance under numerous pretext some of it by running down the other party but mostly appealing to the hurt for the family and its honor or focusing on the emotional distress for the parents and the siblings.

Now that we have observed the way people try to unduly influence you, we need to focus on how to retain our sense of independence and establish our own identity.  To begin with we must respond to suggestions with politeness and courtesy and the then firmly refute the arguments logically and passionately. This is of course easier said than done, but nevertheless it is the best option open. All this presupposes that we know what we want. The biggest problem for many is that we are aware of what we don’t want but are not at all clear about what we want. Ask any MBA graduate and he / she will say that they want a good job but they cannot clearly define what they mean by a good job. One must also realize that while we all have our passions we need to do a reality check about the feasibility and practicality of attaining our passion. If we need to take additional steps like learning something specialized or undergoing appropriate training we need to get going in that direction at the earliest.

Learning the fine art of decision making is the ultimate weapon to thwart any attempts at being influenced by anyone. This involves having clarity of purpose, strategic vision, self confidence and the ability to take risks.

Remember: If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything

Try these:

  1. Make your own resolution not to use your mobile phone for anything other than receiving calls for the entire week. You will not make calls nor respond to incoming SMS nor send out SMS nor use the other features like games, GPS, internet etc available on your mobile. Find out how frequently you broke your own rules and how you rationalize it.
  2. You have promised your parents that you will be doing an important carpentry job (which you have postponed a number of times already) during the weekend. Your best friend calls up saying that he/ she has free tickets for a very popular rock concert during the same weekend. Your girlfriend/ boyfriend says that you are invited by his /her for a party organized for the Golden Jubilee of his/her parents wedding anniversary. On what basis will you decide which option to take? You can choose only one option.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

One Life

There is just one life for each of us: our own. Euripides

When a million sperms have jostled with each other to become YOU, it is imperative that you realize that you are one in a million. Irrespective of your family antecedents, your economic background, your social and cultural upbringing it is YOU that matters. When seen from this perspective you also need to recognize that YOUR life is the only life that you must worry about and one you do that living becomes a beautiful dance in the rain. Is this a selfish way to look at life? Definitely not! If you just take care of your life, it means that you will take care of all your aspirations, your interests and of all those who you love.

There are varied dimensions of one’s life that one has to pay attention to. The mental and physical aspect is nurtured very often by ones parents and teachers in formative years and later by our own pursuit of excellence in whatever we care to do. While intellect and hard work help in attaining excellence in academics it is the inner drive and focus that will enable one to chart one’s life towards attain a worthy goal. As we grow older we realize that it is our independent decision making that has a marked influence on the quality of life we lead. We are always spoilt for choice in real life and it is our skill in selecting the right choices that determines are progress and happiness.

Often there are many testing times when we stand on the cross roads of life and are unable to select the way forward. It is here that our personal vision, our value system and our courage of conviction come into play and helps us to take the right step forward.  Many a time, our decisions will be at cross purposes to what the world at large sees as the right way ahead, but when it is your life only you know where you want to go and how to reach it. Take the case of a bright young MBA who l craves to join the army. When he is selected his joy knows no bounds for that was his passion though the world at large may not see it in the same way. Imagine that shortly after he joins he is killed in combat; that is when the society at large will whisper aloud that he made a wrong choice; but then it was his life and it was his OWN choice.

Remember: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman

Try these:

  1. Ask yourself if you had a choice of another life what are three things you would love to pursue other than what you are doing right now? Do you think you can pursue at least one of those things in the immediate future? Make a plan to accomplish it and execute it at the earliest.
  2. Ask yourself what is the one realistic wish in your life that remains unfulfilled. Now work out a plan to realistically achieve it. It could be meeting a favorite film star or sports personality or it could be buying a bigger home or going on a overseas tour.
  • On 1st April 2010 the try these section had asked you to do a visualization exercise. If you have done that, then here is the tip to utilize the learning more profitably.
  • Did you even attempt to buy a lottery ticket when you visualized yourself winning the grand prize? You can’t just day dream and hope to win a prize, you need to take proactive steps.
  • If you have worked out an allocation for your winnings, simply scale it down to your current monthly savings and start allocating the savings to the original utilization plans. Eg. If your saving is USD 1,000 then allocate it in the same proportion that you would if you had got USD 1000000. Hopefully some of your dreams will come true in time if you start now.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com