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Posts Tagged ‘Individuality’

25-14 JuI 17-I am me1At times we try to analyze ourselves and realize that while we have much to cheer about, we also have much more to rue.  We do not like our limitations, our burdens and resent our shortcomings that are accentuated when compared to others. Rarely do we enjoy our own company or luxuriate in the knowledge that each individual is a very unique person; so very different from his/ her own peers, friends and even siblings.

It is MY individuality that I need to appreciate, embrace and celebrate.

Appreciate my individuality It is reflected in diverse aspects of my personality

My physical dimension

My mental make up

My emotional

My value system

Embrace my individualityIt is acceptance of who I am

Learn to love my whole being

Learn to make peace with my short comings

Learn to utilize my life

Learn to value my dignity and self respect

Celebrate my individuality The art of cheering for myself

I will stand up for my rights

I am ready to defend my point of view

If different I shall be different; no apologies for who I am.

I will smile often, laugh heartily, live it up passionately.

Try these

Today I will write down the following:

5 things that I am proud of

5 aspects of my life that I will try and improve

5 people who I am most blessed to have in my life

5 embarrassing moments of my life

5 dreams that I have yet to achieve

2 most glorious moments of my life

2 most painful moments of my life

My favorite color/ animal / book/ movie

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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10- The mask we wearTruth be told; each of us wears a mask to suit the occasion. We pretend to be happy when we are sad; try to obviate all traces of our jealousy, envy, greed; pretend to like those who we hate but cannot avoid. Many a time we sheepishly smile to disguise our embarrassments and irritation. While we, as individuals use a pseudo mask that attempts to project what we really are not, the clown merely amplifies it with a physical mask, to ensure all those who see it, are in sync with the image being projected.

There is a pattern in facets of ourself that we hide, behind the masks which we put on. The reality is that  ‘Each individual is actual 3 persons. The person I think I am; the person you think I am and the real me.’

The person I think I am : Each of us has an unique identity and that is not merely because of lineage but is also the outcome of how we are shaped by the family, the social settings around us and our own individuality. So siblings could still have widely differing interests, skills, attitudes, display different traits and mannerisms. What is important is how the individual visualizes himself/ herself. Some are pragmatic; some carry the baggage of their own limitations, anxieties, experiences and thinking. There are some who are over confident while others are modest to a fault.  Some are risk takers, others cautious, some reckless and most of us simply flow with the tide. There could be varied aspects of my own self that are probably noticed by others but I remain blind to it.  There could be areas of improvement that I need to focus on or talents and strengths that I can leverage. Listening to others holds the key to understand the person I really am.

The person you think I am : Who I perceive myself to be is what I largely tend to display; notwithstanding the fact that occasionally we attempt to sugar coat ourselves subtly to gain acceptance and occasionally we project a tough principled disposition so that we are seen as fair, upright and no nonsensical. However, there would always be some skeletons in our cupboard that we go to great lengths to hide. It could be some misdemeanors that we do not want others to know, we obfuscate inconvenient truths so that we are perceived more favorably and many a time we tend to display our deftness in ‘running with the hare and hunting with the hounds’ just to ensure that all our interests are projected. The person you think I am may be a far cry from the real me. Yet my style, mannerisms, behavior and attitude are tuned to make others think about me the way I subtly project myself. Phrases like ‘ still waters run deep’ or ‘Janus faced’  are testimony to the reality that ‘the person you think I am ‘ may be quite different in reality. Opening up with relevant facts will ensure that others get to understand me better.

The real me : The real me is largely hidden from others. Even I would known only myself better only when put to the test.  Occasionally some hidden aspects of me are known to very close family and friends. My insecurities, my fears, my hopes, my aspirations, my anxieties, my deepest thoughts, my confidence, my exuberance, my feelings of love, hate, revenge etc are part of me that very few know about. There are aspects of me that even I have yet to discover like my true potential, my natural aptitude, my yet to be discovered talents, my weakness, my mannerisms, my body language etc. The real me may crave for attention, may seek to be understood, may yearn for acceptance or may search for companionship. The real me could be fearful but when put to the test dare to confront his fears; she may be docile by nature but her wrath could be devastating. The real me strives to maintain equilibrium amongst the chaos of life or it could crumble like a dried leaf when trampled upon.  The real me lurks within. The real me is often searching to discover myself. The quest for individuality is what makes me uniquely ME.

Try these:

  1. Read up on or attend a session on the Johari Window concept.
  2. List out the following
  • Two criticisms about the person you admire the most
  • Two points of appreciation about a person you detest.
  • Two secrets you would find it hard to share in a public forum.(just a brief one line statement would do)
  • Two of the naughtiest things you did
  • Two actions that you took that you are really proud of
  • Your biggest fear
  • Your greatest strength

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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12- Be yourselfImitation they say is the best form of flattery. Human beings have unfortunately interpreted this to be a virtue to be imbibed. Thus, the rampant cult following for the style, mannerism, behavior and imitation of cult heroes / heroines / fashion trends / branded products. This has also triggered the advertisement industry to perpetuate this myth by getting celebrities to endorse products thereby fueling the followers need to imitate or at least believe that the products are a must have. While one cannot escape from the influences around us, we do have a choice to evaluate logically, think rationally and act intelligently. It is this individuality that we need to bring back into our life and blossom into the unique personality that we are.

To blossom and give expression to your individuality one has to remember the following

Appreciate your uniqueness – Due to the sheer number of people around us and the competitive environment around, it is easy for an individual to feel insignificant and unworthy considering the superiority of those around us. It begins in childhood. The school topper is envied by the rest while the school topper is often envious of the best athlete or someone else who has a different talent or skill set that the topper lacks. The constant criticism that we as individuals are subject to, from family friends, teachers and well meaning neighbors further dents our self confidence and our uniqueness gets drowned in a sea of comparison, expectations, influences and  criticism. If you are constantly being nudged to follow the beaten path, be aware that you are different and that you are attempting to furrow your own path amidst the labyrinth of paths around. Remember when you stand out you get noticed and then you cannot escape attention.

Recognize the good around and imbibe it – In pursuit of being unique it is important that we do not keep bending the rules, transgressing the law and walking a thin line between moral and immoral activities. In fact one must consciously observe, adapt and adopt the good from others around. It could be simple things like punctuality, orderliness, thoroughness, persistence and politeness. You would also observe that some of these good qualities are in short supply around and anyone who adopts these has a good chance of being noticed. So uniqueness is not merely in doing something extra ordinary it could be in doing the ordinary in an excellent manner. Listening skills, empathy, respect, giving an honest opinion, having the courage to disagree and to disagree without being disagreeable are all virtues that can also make an individual showcase his/ her individuality.

Do not get carried away by trends and influencers – it is easy to imitate, blindly follow and succumb to the trends of the times. One does not have to think much to do it but it could come for a price. Copying may not suit your personality, it could cost much, it will make you part of a herd, it could make you fit in with the wrong crowd and you would be blissfully unaware of it. At times it could also make you stand out like a sore thumb; an embarrassment to those who love you and possibly also harm your reputation and creditability. Your uniqueness is often reflected in the strength of you character; be it in refusing to be pressurized into smoking and drinking or to be foul mouthed or refusing to copy in an exam or being truthful even at the cost of losing friends or making enemies. Sometimes your mettle is tested when you have to stand up for your friends and risk having to face the punishment they get, although you were never involved in the aberration.

Dare to be different – Many of us don’t dare for fear of failure. There is a risk in every act we do. Not trying is perhaps the one mistake that is often common to a mass of people. How can you judge your abilities unless you attempt. Failure is just an indication that you can do better. Not trying and therefore not failing is a waste of opportunity to explore your potential. Being different can be as simple as giving honest feedback, appreciation and respect. It could be in the way you approach a challenge, it could be in attempting something you have never done before or it could be in simply walking away from a foolhardy or stupid prank. Your individuality is in being yourself, resisting the temptation to prove anything to anyone and in expanding your comfort zone by willing to risk something for a worthwhile goal. It takes tremendous guts to dare to something when you have no audience, no applause and no appreciation. Being a whistleblower, an RTI activist and a conscientious citizen are opportunities for you to explore to be different and to mark your individuality.

Make it your Life – While we do need to lead a life that meets societal norms, family expectations and fully harness our potential we must not subjugate our life to mere existence in order to comply with expectations. It is MY LIFE that I need to lead should be at the core of living. Is it difficult to lead your own life? Frankly it just requires one to be believe in his/ her own uniqueness and find the right motivation to let the work know that you are standing up to be seen and counted. This could mean risking attention, performing extraordinarily well, being criticized, getting applauded but not getting carried away by it and above all letting the world know you have arrived.

Unless you lead YOUR LIFE how will the world experience your uniqueness your individuality and your being. Have you ever copied somebody’s signature and made it yours?  Just as your signature is your own unique identify, let your life too be a unique one; one that was never there before and one that will never be there again. Make the word richer by your presence.

Try these:

  • If you could go back and live your life again what are 3  things you would do differently?
  • Can you identify an individual who gave you a wonderful piece of advice that you still cherish.
  • What is your favorite saying / proverb / quote?
  • What would you like to be remembered for?

Share with us (by writing in to actspot@gmail.com) the following

  1. A unique video clip that you found engaging and invigorating
  2. A book that you found inspirational and motivating
  3. A real life story that you could empathize with
  4. An incident from your life that you wish to share with the readers.

 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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11- Being resourceful is the keyWhen confronted with a challenge, a problem, a dilemma, a threat, an obstacle or danger, chances are that we would furiously think of ways to mitigate the issue. This is normal human reaction for that is how we are psychologically conditioned to act.  The issue is actually what we do next. Many of us give up daring to execute our plans for fear of failure. Some would simply give up even trying to identify a solution rationalizing that the circumstance confronting us is far beyond our own ability to cope up with. There would be others who make half hearted attempts to at least postpone the inevitable, in the fond hope of the matter resolving itself over time. The circumstances confronting you are not your enemy. Being afraid to think and act is the real enemy.

Being resourceful is all about thinking quick and acting purposefully. In fact thinking quick is often a natural reaction. However, we tend to keep prejudging our thoughts, ideas, alternatives and opportunities thereby largely neutralizing the power of those immediate thoughts. Acting purposefully is a bigger challenge for we normally tend to react to circumstances rather than act with a clear plan in mind. So is resourcefulness just a matter of generating alternative solutions? Ideating and creativity are just one tool for being resourceful albeit a critical and important tool. Resourcefulness goes far beyond merely thinking up alternatives. It is setting up yourself to triumph over circumstances.

Here are some pointers to being resourceful and using them to overcome the obstacles that confront you.

Believe in yourself – The first thought that often comes to mind when confronted with a challenge is oh no. This is quickly followed by thoughts that revolve around Why me? Can I? This is terrible. I can’t cope with this. It is unfair. It is important to remember that every individual does face challenges at various times in varied degrees and the challenges cover a wide spectrum. One either copes with the challenge or gets overcome by the challenge. The first step to coping with a problem is to believe that you have the mental, physical and emotional strength to find a solution. Unless you believe in yourself you would not seek to find a solution.

Think/ ideate / be creative / visualize– Thinking holds the key to generating solutions. It could be logical or rational thinking, it could be creative thinking, it could be idea generation or it could be visualizing big and narrowing to specifics. There is a solution and I can find it must be the mantra. The solution could be completely off beat, it could be risky, it may require a tremendous leap of faith or it could be so very simple you start doubting its efficacy. Look at all the technological wonders around you and you would realize that each of them is a marvel in itself. More importantly each improvement is actually a solution to a problem that was worked out by someone who believed they could find a solution.

Create the right environment to act The toughest part of being resourceful is reassuring yourself constantly that you are capable, competent and clear about your resourcefulness paying off. Sometimes it would be the nagging doubts in your mind, other times it could be the nay sayers who discourage you, occasionally it would be those days when nothing seems to go right and mostly it would be the let me give up feeling that comes like waves of a nausea. To cope with this it is essential that you create the right environment. This includes simple things like ensuring you have the right tools to work with, the physical environment suits your temperament, you bounce ideas of people who will give you dispassionate and encouraging feedback, you brace yourself to dealing with failure, your tune your mind to find encouragement in the smallest success that you attain.

Act decisively to attain your objective – This the toughest part of being resourceful because this requires daring and is test of yourself belief. Just as one cannot cross a chasm in two steps, acting decisively means taking a giant leap of faith. The plans on the drawing board would remain just that, till they are translated into concrete action. There are no auspicious moments, no perfect time to begin. Making that commitment by beginning ensures that you will make those extra efforts to keep going. It is possible that you will be tempted to rethink, to reassess, to go back to the drawing board, to give up, to start differently but once you get the momentum it is a commitment that will linger and persist and draw you back to continue.

If at first you don’t succeed, start again. Very few have ever succeeded in their first attempt. However, it is those who didn’t give up their quest for success who ultimately triumph. Few plans pan out the way they are planned. There would be detours, there would be complications, there could be road blocks, there could be frustration and there will be discouragement. Keep your goal in mind. It must be sufficiently big enough to motivate but not so large that you are overawed by the challenge. Most importantly you must enjoy the journey. Be desperate, determined and driven; then you will be resourceful enough to see your dream come through no matter how long it takes or how many attempts it takes.

Try this:

  • Can you think of unique ways to celebrate your birthday or that of a close friend or family member?
  • During the coming week, check out the various cultural activities that will take place in your city and attend at least 2 such activities that you have never even been too. Identify 2 new things you learned in the process and find a way to implement it or utilize it.
  • From the various posts in your social media sites list out 5 posts that caught your imagination. Of these are there any that you think you can replicate or adapt to make the world around you a better place?
  • If you had the resources to start a social service initiative what would you start? How would your initiative be different from those existing? Even without the resources can you implement some of the unique ideas you have in mind?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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21- 26Oct 14- I may not be perfect‘The question who am I?’ is one that every individual seeks an answer to. Yet very few of us get an answer that satisfies us. However we all get tips on who we possibly can be, who we can aim to be, the individual that we aspire to be and the individuality that we allow ourselves to occasionally bloom. One thing is common to all of us; our realisation that we are not perfect. We are forever dissatisfied with who we are; we keep hoping to change into someone better but without having a clear idea of the person we want to metamorphosis into. Shockingly many a successful person, as judged by our yardstick of success, seem to suffer from this acute sense of not being perfect or good enough and many of them seek refuge in vices and in extreme cases suicide. Surprisingly if we just look around, it would hearten us to note that there are millions of people around us who despite the realisation that they are not perfect, still go about living a decent life and wake up each day with renewed hope and laughter. So what makes some people accept their imperfection whilst others find it difficult to adjust to their circumstances?

The key lies in the word acceptance. When we do not accept who we are, our constant endeavour is to depict ourselves as those we hope to be. Our measure of happiness suddenly changes from finding joy within to finding acceptance from others, which would mean chasing money, fame, appreciation at any cost. We move away from who we really are to who we want others to believe we are. As a result we create an excessive artificiality around us; be it in style, attitude, behaviour, persona or interactions. Over period of time we start believing in this artificiality we create, never realizing that we have now faked and fooled only ourselves. Despite having fame, wealth and a wide friends circle, if we still experience a chilling loneliness, a terrifying emptiness and a bewildering sadness, it would help to review one’s life and the values one stands for. We may soon being peeling of the layers of artificiality that we used to mask ourselves with, so as to gain acceptance from those around us.

Every morning when you wake up, go to the mirror and figure out the dishevelled individual staring back. Perhaps not a pretty picture, yet we would begin in earnest to make ourselves look more presentable and soon one feels more appreciative of the person staring back. This appreciation of the self comes from the knowledge that the person is alive, has no pretence and has the potential to be much better than what is seen. Add a smile to the face, get a prayer on the lips and a song in the heart to enjoy and revel in the wonders of a new day. Your imperfections, your weakness, your limitations and your apprehensions notwithstanding, there will be a spring in your step, hope in the heart and fire in the belly because that is the real you who appreciates his/ her individuality and makes no fake pretence to be any one else.

Try this:

Identify 3 types of attire you would be most uncomfortable in. Can you appreciate the reasons why you think you would be uncomfortable sporting those attires?

Which of these fake attitudes / behaviour would irritate you the most and why?

  • Names dropping
  • Talking with an accent
  • Constant reference to branded products used by the individual
  • Exaggerated display of possessions to draw attention to
  • Frequent social networking updates with personal pictures and self promotional posts
  • Constant one-upmanship talks or rebuttals pontificating superior knowledge
  • Constant flattery especially of those in positions of power/ influence
  • Pretending to be subservient or display of exaggerated modesty

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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13-15-Advice from the ocean

Off and on life gives us some pleasant surprises and one such surprise came to me when I chanced upon the above piece of advice from the ocean. What made it special was the exceptional interplay of words related to the ocean that sound so similar to the words relevant to make sense of the advice when read aloud. Equally important and interesting is the fact that each sentence by itself is a piece of advice and when understood in its entirety makes us aware of the symbiotic relationship of the set of advices.

 

To appreciate the advice given by the ocean let us examine each of them at length.

 

Be sure of yourself – Confidence is a quality that all leaders and successful people have had in ample measure. Confidence comes from being sure of one’s self; ones knowledge, understanding, ability to confront challenges and the certainty that every step has a definite purpose and goal. Ironically it is those who are overconfident who invariably go well beyond the shoreline and end up as drowning victims. So there is a very thin line between being sure and being overconfident and success is all about seeing that the lines don’t blurr. Click on this link to get an idea of how confident mountain goats are and how tough it is for us to mimic them http://tinyurl.com/ky53cwn

 

Come out of your shell – A tortoise, they say makes progress only when it sticks its neck out of its shell. The same holds true for each of us. Confidence gets translated into momentum only when we are prepared to move out of our comforts zone and attempt what we have ever done before. Of course there is a risk of failure, but with proper planning, strategy and determination one can always mitigate the chances of failure. Have you any of you ever learned cycling without ever having a fall? Click on this link to see how a tortoise has to stick his neck to make good progress http://tinyurl.com/l9cc67t

 

Take time to coast – In chasing our dreams, we often forget to enjoy the wonders that life has freely given us. The gift of friends requires us to spare time for them, the love of family necessitates us spending family time together, the beauty of nature requires that we take a break, spend time and soak in its wonders. Instead of taking a motor boat, how about taking a paddle boat and meandering around the sea shore enjoying the sea gulls, the setting sun, the wind on our face and occasionally tasting the salty sea water that drenches us when the waves crash against the boat. Click on this link to enjoy seeing a clipping from a short film Paddle to the sea  http://tinyurl.com/n6vh2mr . To see the entire 28min movie click on this link  http://tinyurl.com/mt3w56v

 

Avoid peer pressure – Remember the times in school / college when we were threatened with dire consequences by our class mates if we snitched about an errant / mischievous class mate who anonymously created havoc. That was our first experience with peer pressure. At the work place and in social circles, many a time we would crave to live up to the expectations of others. Stress is a natural outcome of intense peer pressure. Similar peer pressure from family, friends and colleagues would later on be more self inflicted, especially if we kept comparing ourselves to them. The craze for more power, money, prestige, recognition are symptomatic of the subtle peer pressure that we occasionally succumb to.  Live life on your terms and don’t let others dictate terms to you.

 

See life’s beauty – The wonders of nature, the unpretentious ways of wild life, the cry of a new born, the pitter patter of raindrops, the howling of the winds, the lit sky during a lightening, the care free love of a puppy, the clucking of hens but above all the smile on the face of fellow being are moments of exhilarating beauty. The essence of beauty lies in its captivating power to enthrall the heart, mind and flesh, astounding and mesmerizing us completely.

 

Don’t get tied down – We grow not merely because we think or because we are intelligent, but because we soak in experiences, learn from our mistakes and discover life beyond our imagination.  Just as stagnant water does not help marine life, our own growth will flourish if we are willing to untie ourselves from the bondage of family ties, move away from the comfort of the familiar, embrace the challenge of change and risk being adrift, alone and isolated. However, by setting sail there is a real possibility of you discovering new horizons, rediscovering yourself and realizing your true worth.

 

Make Waves = Yes you can by doing what you never dreamt of doing, surprising the world around and by making a huge difference to the environment around you. Your attitude is the wind that will give the momentum and zip to the efforts you take. Strangely enough you will be able to ride the wave of success that you create provided you don’t get unbalanced by getting drunk on success. You are the water, the wind, the surfboard and surfer – discover all that when you make waves.

 

Try this:

 

  1. Click on this link and make a kaleidoscope as demonstrated in the video clip. http://tinyurl.com/4ypfgzm When you succeed you will realize the truth of the oceans wisdom.
  2. Set a target for yourself to collect a certain amount of funds in the coming week, for your favorite charity. The key is to collect funds from strangers whom you have never ever met or interacted with.  If you exceed your set target, double the target and try the exercise once again after a month. If you did not meet your set target, analyze how you can do better and attempt it once again after a month with the same target in mind.
  3. Check out the meanings of the words in the original picture which are written in bold in the write up above. e.g. shore and sure

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.  Billy Wilder

Unless one has a dream one cannot realize it. That is why is imperative that each of us have a dream so that when we get up each day there is something exciting and challenging for us to achieve and focus on. Most of us don’t even sleep well, and that is perhaps the reason we cannot have a dream. Many of us have nightmares during the day so we do not sleep well at night. Reality is that everyone has his/ her share of difficulties and his / her share of hopes aspirations and dreams.  What matters most is to first recognize our dreams for only then can we pursue it.

The problem many of us have is we chase too many dreams. We constantly shift our dreams and in the process do not focus our attention on what is really essential and immediate. Many of us have a very hazy idea of our dreams more money, more comforts, more happiness and more of everything that is material is the mantra we often live by. We cannot define how much is more and therein lies the problem of outlining what we want. E.g At this point make a rough sketch of the dream house that you would like to have. It is just a sketch so give vent to your imagination and don’t limit yourself by any form of budget constraints. Notice how hard it is for you to  decide the layout, the style, the number of rooms etc.

How can I know what my dream is? This is a question that troubles nearly all of us.  A simple way to identify your dream is to pause and reflect on what is it that constantly disturbs you. Focus on that and perhaps your dream will exist there. Eg. You always dream of owning your own business but you are an employee in a company.  Now starting your business may be the dream you have to realize. So begin by planning out the type of business that you think will suit your background. Work on the finer aspects of location, budget, competition, funding etc. All this will require hard work and extensive study. Notice though that because you have a dream you prepare to realize it and everyday your are excited , charged up and closer to realizing your dream.

It is also imperative to recognize that no one can realize a dream all by ones self. It requires the support and collaboration of many people. That is why we need to share our dream with others and be able to enlist their support. This automatically helps us focus and clarify on what our dream is and how we plan to realize it. Many times we get a boost from our potential collaborators who will encourage us and also give us valuable advice that can give better shape to our plans. To realize ones dream we need to have a dream and then get up each morning enthused and invigorated that soon we shall make our dream a reality.

Remember: A dream is not what you see when you sleep…It’s the thing which does not let you sleep” Dr. A.P.J Abdul Kalam

Try this:

  1. Make a list of 5 things you want to achieve before you die. Now break down each of those into 5 steps that you will need to do to achieve it and put a time frame against each step. Tape this list in a place that you can see it every day and start work on the dreams immediately.
  2. Form the habit of daily listing out things to do tomorrow before going to bed or better still before leaving your office. Start your day by going through that list and doing the work listed and evaluating your success each evening before you draw up the to do list for the next day.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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